Today's episode revolves around a post that one of our listeners, Ashley Beck, put up about how the worst of us can show up so easily online. She appropriately titled the post: "A Place for the Worst in Us" and we hope this chat will help us all think twice before we post a rude or snarky comment online.
Ashley starts off asking for help (on Nextdoor) after her home was burglarized. She was hoping to find neighbors who might have video surveillance, etc... The comments were thoughtful at first and then soon went to the place most social media has the tendency to go: meanness and name-calling about elected officials, police, and generalizations about the citizens of Baton Rouge. None of it was helpful or relevant. This leads Ashley to wonder: Have we lost the ability to hold our tongues, to take a step back, to not rush to snap judgment or share every thought that enters our minds?? Her post ends with encouragement as she longs for neighbors who can agree to disagree and respond with civility and respect on important matters like political issues and religious views, and more benign things like hobbies, tone of voice, and food choices, and everything in between.
Thank you Ashley for this important conversation...we all need to keep this in mind when we're online!
QUOTES:
"Be so confident knowing what you bring to the table that you're willing to eat alone until you find the right table." - @WomenOnTop
"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that really isn't you. So that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place." - Paulo Coelho
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat and today's quote is from
Women on Top, but I feel like it could come
from anybody. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I was not paying attention that. I was like, wait,
what Instagram account?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well it puffed up in my suggested Of course it did,
I think because I look for quotes so much all
the time. That's why I get the suggestions all the
time of the accounts that just post quotes like in
there the thing, So what are the Women on Top
SETE gets Women on Top like maybe like in the
world business.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, probably I would hope. Well, I'll judge based off
of the quote.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Okay, be so confident in knowing what you bring to
the table that you're willing to eat alone until you
find the right table.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
But that is a good quote.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I have another one from Life on Purpose movement. This
is also suggested to me. Maybe the journey isn't so
much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that
really isn't you, so that you can be who you
were meant to be in the first place.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I love that. I love.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, Okay, just kidding, Houston. That was just me being
like for fun, not to just some behind the scenes
if we ever mess up?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Do you ever do that in your life? But yeah,
you're just like used to being like, oh.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
No, no, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I just didn't. I did that in a session and
I'm like, oh it, let me start over and say
that again to a client. Yeah, I feel like that
might happen one day. Happened so far.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
That's our code to our editor, Houston.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
If we want to start something over, take it out
or whatever because it didn't make sense, which, trust me,
a lot of times we leave stuff in that does
not make sense.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I honestly don't know what makes us decide to or not.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Do you if we jumble our words? Yeah, probably, or
if we say something I'm like, I actually don't want
that in there.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I know that Houston is saving them all and he
could be working on a special whole episode Christmas present
to our listeners by putting them all together, like all
the bloopers and whatnot. So one of our listeners, Ashley,
she shared this whole post with me about people on
the internet, just her feelings on sometimes why people can
(02:28):
just be so mean and it may be basically today's episode. Okay,
the topic around it, and it's so good and we
love again hearing from y'all and things you're putting out
into the world and hearing your feelings. And so I'm
just gonna go ahead and read what Ashley sent me
is batim Is this a post she made or she
(02:50):
just sent you something. Yeah, it's a post that she
put up. But then she emailed me. Okay the post
because I was like, hey, send this to me. And
so it's a place for the worst in us that's
the title. A little more than a month ago, my
house was burglarized. I was hoping to find any neighbors
who might have video surveillance from around the time of
the burglary, so I posted on nextdoor asking any neighbors
(03:12):
to contact me if they had security footage. The responses
I got were mostly sympathetic at first, but the comments
soon devolved to the place most social media has a
tendency to go meanness and name calling. Not meanness to me,
of course, but uncalled for comments about elected officials are police,
police chief and sweeping generalizations about the citizens of Baton Rouge.
(03:35):
It wasn't helpful or even relevant, but for some reason,
neighbors felt the need to share their political opinions and
commentary on a post that was asking for help. I
am certainly no better than the majority of people out there.
There is a part of me that I'm not proud
of that tends towards judgmental, quick, knee jerk reactions to
people or situations, an internal dialogue that's snarky and unco
(04:00):
Most of us were raised well enough to know that
most of those thoughts are best left unsaid, and we
raise our kids that way too. We have told our
children to lead with kindness, to take the high road,
to remember that you never know what another person is
going through. Your parents probably taught you the golden rule,
do unto others as you would have them do unto you,
(04:21):
And whether we use the same language or not, we
have passed that wisdom on to the next generation. But
for far too many of us, the ability to anonymously
or facelessly comment on things online has given that snarky
and unkind part of ourselves a place to be expressed.
We write things in the comments, and we post things
online that we would never say to a person's face.
(04:44):
It's like all humanity and grace has left the room
when someone posts something online that we disagree with or
that pushes our buttons. This is true for things ranging
from political opinions, to interests and hobbies, or a person's
latest purchase. It's my belief that this tendency to fire
off comments has led us to desensitizing ourselves to unkindness
(05:05):
and judgment. A person posts a rude, mean, unhelpful, or
unnecessary comment online, and that leads to more of the same.
These online, anonymous or faceless forums have offered the worst
parts of ourselves a comfortable place to live and thrive.
We've lost the ability to hold our tongues, to take
a step back, to not rush to snap judgment or
(05:27):
share every thought that enters our minds. What if we
all decided that we would take the advice we were
given growing up, and the advice we were hopefully still
passing on to our children, at least in word, and
lead with kindness. What if we scrolled on by when
we disagreed with a person and couldn't bring ourselves to
do so civilly and without resorting to cruel comments and
(05:50):
mean spirited jokes. What if we remembered a time when
we want to post something that we wouldn't say if
the person was standing in front of us.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Friends.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I really long for a time when we can be
neighbors who can agree to disagree and respond with civility
and respect on important matters like political issues and religious
views and more benign things like hobbies, tone of voice,
and food choices and everything in between. This is something
she put up September first of this year. She said,
(06:23):
which is the challenge. I mean, I think it's so true.
I think even that could extend to sometimes things at
least it's popping into my head. And what I do
is things sometimes we say if someone's not there, we're
talking to another friend, and sometimes you may need to
vent about something or work something out. But also because
someone's not present, are you saying something that maybe you otherwise.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Wouldn't like gossips say, probably.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
More falling into the lines of that or something snarky
or judgmental or rude, but using that as a I
don't know at check point of like, if this person
was here, what.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I say this to their face?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Because there are some things that you may say about
someone that if they were there, you'd absolutely be like, oh,
by the way I would say this to or in
front of her, I'm not talking bad.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Like I would say this. Yeah, but that's probably.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
That's a whole other thing, because I think what she's
getting at and it's so wild that that started because
she was asking for help and then people started talking
and fighting about something that was not even about what
she like. She started a thread that was supposed to
be for good and it turned into bad. But I
think that's different than the gossip situation because she mentioned
we're being desensitized to online bullying and calling people out,
(07:36):
and we've become, I think, as a culture, more aggressive,
and you know, the whole idea of My therapist recently
told me Kat there's a difference between being aggressive and assertive,
and I was like, yes, there is, and sometimes it's
hard for me to find that line. But online people
don't feel like I think a lot of times they
need to do that because they'll say whatever. I don't
(07:56):
want to be come off aggressive towards you, but sometimes
I might want to be assertive. I'm careful of how
I say things versus online. If I don't know that person,
it's almost like out of sight, out of mind, I
don't have to care about their feelings, and right, I
don't like that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, and yes, the two things are very different, but
I guess I was just made a mental note for
myself sometimes and how I'm speaking that like to having
that as.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
A well, that probably applies to you more.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
As a well. No, I think both apply to me.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
How I just remembered how we ended up talking about
this online where I said, oh, hey, send me your
post because I had shared in Stories a rude comment
that a listener left me, like i'd put up some video.
I think I was hiking with my cousin and they
just commented like Hugh. Now I don't remember exactly what
they said, but something like oh, I bet Ben's glad
he's rid of you, or yes, I remember that he
(08:45):
probably couldn't stand being married to You're crazy or whatever.
And so I just shared it and I'm like, oh,
my gosh, people are so nice.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
On the internet. It's so great.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
And then that's when Ashley shared with me the post
and I was like, oh, email that to me. So
I definitely can read relate to the online thing. I
guess I just thought too. And at work conversations or
different things. It's like, Okay, would I be saying this
or should I say this?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I kind of like the way you responded because it
was kind of funny and it wasn't at that you
weren't being rude or mean to or making fun of anybody.
It was more about the comment, oh that people.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Are so kind. Yeah, it was being sarcastic. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Yeah, But I don't think you, because of the human
you are struggle as much with oh should I be
mean to somebody on the internet versus like should I
say this about this person in my life if they're
not here. That's where I was saying. You might relate
to that part more. I think you probably get a
lot of the crazy mean people are not thinking that
you're a human for some reason. Because they don't know
(09:44):
you personally and they only hear your voice, they can
think that you're just like somebody that lives in the radio.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
There are times where I've gotten you know, emails or dms,
and then if I reply, they're suddenly like, oh, you're
real love the show of Listen Forever, y'all are awesome,
and I'm like wait, and it.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Was like something mean They would have said, Yeah, always
thought you were just again living in the radio, which
when I was little, I did think people lived inside
of the radio and like talked their miniature people.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, so maybe that's what they're thinking.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I mean, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You think, Okay, these talking little things where they're coming
from little people are coming out of my radio. But yeah,
when I first started the Bobby Bone Show back in
the day, yeah, in two thousand and six, two thousand
and seven, I spend a lot of time in front
of my computer with emails.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Like I would sit in.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Front of them if I got a hate email for
like an hour and I would be drafting a reply
in a kind way. But then eventually I started to
let that go and I'm like, okay, just delete it.
Why am I taking the time? But I had never
been in this profession. I had never had anything like that,
and I had a growth thick skin.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And that's before social media, so.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
It was literally on email. Yeah, there was no.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
So you're not also used to like online bullying, that
isn't a thing. I heard somebody I forgot who it was.
It was a person in the Spotlight talking about their
struggle with the online bullying stuff and They were talking
about how a lot of times you hear, well, you
sign up for this, this is what you sign up for.
And I agree with what they said. No it's not,
(11:15):
and why would we stoop down to the oh, we
just should accept this. It's just is the It just
is the way the world is versus it doesn't actually
have to be this way. We could actually think, hey,
maybe I should be a little kinder. We can't actually
call into the people who are spreading and creating threads
that were meant for good to harm. We're allowed to
(11:39):
shift that. We can change that. We don't have to say, well,
you're on the radio, so you just that's just what
you get. Why why why?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Have you seen the David Beckham documentary that' stuff on Netflix?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
We started watching it yesterday.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Okay, I have a fashion to the episode where.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
He we haven't finished the first episode.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Okay, so you're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
It's early on, and this is I didn't know anything
about David Beckham's career, but this isn't ruining anything.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I don't think this happened a long time ago. It
was in the news.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
But he messed up in a game like a big game.
I don't know if it's the World Cup or what.
I can't I was multitasking, so I was picking up
bits and pieces and he got fouled out of a game.
I don't know the soccer language. But he got a flag,
a red card. Yeah, red card. He coln't play anymore.
Which I'm going to my first Nashville soccer game this weekend.
You're in Saturday, the first like major league soccer game.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Very excited on Saturday. So you'll know, red card, you're out.
Yellow card is a warning. Okay, you get another one.
You get a red card and you're out. So Becks
that's David Beckham's nickname. He got a red card, and
then they lost the game. So the Cold Country blamed him,
(12:55):
blamed him, and it was brutal for them, like even
Posh by Victoria they had just they had a baby.
I mean, it took forever for him to come out.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Actually I'm still not even to the part where he's
come out of outliving that part of it so brutal.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I mean they beat him down.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I mean he was like and it's soccer, every news outlet,
every human like they were just like suddenly, I mean
they were praising him right before, and then suddenly he
makes them of the earth and it's like.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Well, that's he didn't kill anybody.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
He didn't sign up for that.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And by the way, well this part I'll leave. I'm
not gonna say okay, because this part maybe.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
People didn't know about. But there is a twist to
the story.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Oh and it's very fascinating and it makes me want
to be like, well, that.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Sucks you loser.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
But to him, to the other.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Guy, I'm not gonna take my frustration and anger out
on him, Okay, I will.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Say, I want to get your feedback when you see
your soccer the soccer game, because one thing that bothers
me about men's soccer is they just flop all over
the place just to get fouls and to get people
so they can have a free kick or get the
ball back. So if literally somebody like touches you, the
guy will flop to the ground and I think you
should get carted for doing that, and sometimes you do.
(14:10):
So I want to get your feedback of what you
think about the flopping.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
But how am I gonna know?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Because you can tell if somebody really deserves like somebody
sticks her foot out and trips somebody's ankles. That's one thing. Then,
like it's a contact sport, you're gonna get pushed a
little bit. So I just want you to I want
to get your feedback and see, did you think there
was a lot of faking it? It's faking it. It's
like they're acting to get the ball like wrestling.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yes, but that's for well, rattling is fake, but that
of it looks real.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah, but they're not. They're not doing that. That's a
show versus they're doing that to get the other guy
in trouble. They're pretending to be hurt so they get
the ball. I'm like, just get up and go chase
the ball back and get that wine.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Okay, anyway, I'll see if I can pick up on that.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I mean this is literally my first soccer game.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
That's not you're like, I don't actually know the point
of soccer yet.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Hy mcau with soccer with my kids.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
So I've never I mean besides the David Beckham documentary
and then this upcoming game this weekend, that's the most
like pro or real soccer type stuff I've ever watched
in my life.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
So, Kat, where can people find you?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
On Instagram, at cat dot Defada and at You Need
Therapy podcast but.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Be nice over there, and I am at Radio Amy.
You can hit up Radioamy dot com as well. And
then yeah, Kats you Need Therapy podcast handle is obviously
there because her podcast You Need Therapy So check out that.
So many amazing episodes up there. She has episodes that
come out every Monday and every Wednesday, which Couch Talks
(15:39):
is on Wednesday, and that's normally answering like an email,
so you could also send her emails.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Where do people do that?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Katherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com boom, all.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Right, have the day you need to have. Bye,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat and today's quote is from
Women on Top, but I feel like it could come
from anybody. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I was not paying attention that. I was like, wait,
what Instagram account?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well it puffed up in my suggested Of course it did,
I think because I look for quotes so much all
the time. That's why I get the suggestions all the
time of the accounts that just post quotes like in
there the thing, So what are the Women on Top
SETE gets Women on Top like maybe like in the
world business.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, probably I would hope. Well, I'll judge based off
of the quote.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Okay, be so confident in knowing what you bring to
the table that you're willing to eat alone until you
find the right table.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
But that is a good quote.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I have another one from Life on Purpose movement. This
is also suggested to me. Maybe the journey isn't so
much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that
really isn't you, so that you can be who you
were meant to be in the first place.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I love that. I love.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, Okay, just kidding, Houston. That was just me being
like for fun, not to just some behind the scenes
if we ever mess up?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Do you ever do that in your life? But yeah,
you're just like used to being like, oh.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
No, no, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I just didn't. I did that in a session and
I'm like, oh it, let me start over and say
that again to a client. Yeah, I feel like that
might happen one day. Happened so far.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
That's our code to our editor, Houston.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
If we want to start something over, take it out
or whatever because it didn't make sense, which, trust me,
a lot of times we leave stuff in that does
not make sense.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I honestly don't know what makes us decide to or not.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Do you if we jumble our words? Yeah, probably, or
if we say something I'm like, I actually don't want
that in there.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I know that Houston is saving them all and he
could be working on a special whole episode Christmas present
to our listeners by putting them all together, like all
the bloopers and whatnot. So one of our listeners, Ashley,
she shared this whole post with me about people on
the internet, just her feelings on sometimes why people can
(02:28):
just be so mean and it may be basically today's episode. Okay,
the topic around it, and it's so good and we
love again hearing from y'all and things you're putting out
into the world and hearing your feelings. And so I'm
just gonna go ahead and read what Ashley sent me
is batim Is this a post she made or she
(02:50):
just sent you something. Yeah, it's a post that she
put up. But then she emailed me. Okay the post
because I was like, hey, send this to me. And
so it's a place for the worst in us that's
the title. A little more than a month ago, my
house was burglarized. I was hoping to find any neighbors
who might have video surveillance from around the time of
the burglary, so I posted on nextdoor asking any neighbors
(03:12):
to contact me if they had security footage. The responses
I got were mostly sympathetic at first, but the comments
soon devolved to the place most social media has a
tendency to go meanness and name calling. Not meanness to me,
of course, but uncalled for comments about elected officials are police,
police chief and sweeping generalizations about the citizens of Baton Rouge.
(03:35):
It wasn't helpful or even relevant, but for some reason,
neighbors felt the need to share their political opinions and
commentary on a post that was asking for help. I
am certainly no better than the majority of people out there.
There is a part of me that I'm not proud
of that tends towards judgmental, quick, knee jerk reactions to
people or situations, an internal dialogue that's snarky and unco
(04:00):
Most of us were raised well enough to know that
most of those thoughts are best left unsaid, and we
raise our kids that way too. We have told our
children to lead with kindness, to take the high road,
to remember that you never know what another person is
going through. Your parents probably taught you the golden rule,
do unto others as you would have them do unto you,
(04:21):
And whether we use the same language or not, we
have passed that wisdom on to the next generation. But
for far too many of us, the ability to anonymously
or facelessly comment on things online has given that snarky
and unkind part of ourselves a place to be expressed.
We write things in the comments, and we post things
online that we would never say to a person's face.
(04:44):
It's like all humanity and grace has left the room
when someone posts something online that we disagree with or
that pushes our buttons. This is true for things ranging
from political opinions, to interests and hobbies, or a person's
latest purchase. It's my belief that this tendency to fire
off comments has led us to desensitizing ourselves to unkindness
(05:05):
and judgment. A person posts a rude, mean, unhelpful, or
unnecessary comment online, and that leads to more of the same.
These online, anonymous or faceless forums have offered the worst
parts of ourselves a comfortable place to live and thrive.
We've lost the ability to hold our tongues, to take
a step back, to not rush to snap judgment or
(05:27):
share every thought that enters our minds. What if we
all decided that we would take the advice we were
given growing up, and the advice we were hopefully still
passing on to our children, at least in word, and
lead with kindness. What if we scrolled on by when
we disagreed with a person and couldn't bring ourselves to
do so civilly and without resorting to cruel comments and
(05:50):
mean spirited jokes. What if we remembered a time when
we want to post something that we wouldn't say if
the person was standing in front of us.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Friends.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I really long for a time when we can be
neighbors who can agree to disagree and respond with civility
and respect on important matters like political issues and religious
views and more benign things like hobbies, tone of voice,
and food choices and everything in between. This is something
she put up September first of this year. She said,
(06:23):
which is the challenge. I mean, I think it's so true.
I think even that could extend to sometimes things at
least it's popping into my head. And what I do
is things sometimes we say if someone's not there, we're
talking to another friend, and sometimes you may need to
vent about something or work something out. But also because
someone's not present, are you saying something that maybe you otherwise.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Wouldn't like gossips say, probably.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
More falling into the lines of that or something snarky
or judgmental or rude, but using that as a I
don't know at check point of like, if this person
was here, what.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I say this to their face?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Because there are some things that you may say about
someone that if they were there, you'd absolutely be like, oh,
by the way I would say this to or in
front of her, I'm not talking bad.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Like I would say this. Yeah, but that's probably.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
That's a whole other thing, because I think what she's
getting at and it's so wild that that started because
she was asking for help and then people started talking
and fighting about something that was not even about what
she like. She started a thread that was supposed to
be for good and it turned into bad. But I
think that's different than the gossip situation because she mentioned
we're being desensitized to online bullying and calling people out,
(07:36):
and we've become, I think, as a culture, more aggressive,
and you know, the whole idea of My therapist recently
told me Kat there's a difference between being aggressive and assertive,
and I was like, yes, there is, and sometimes it's
hard for me to find that line. But online people
don't feel like I think a lot of times they
need to do that because they'll say whatever. I don't
(07:56):
want to be come off aggressive towards you, but sometimes
I might want to be assertive. I'm careful of how
I say things versus online. If I don't know that person,
it's almost like out of sight, out of mind, I
don't have to care about their feelings, and right, I
don't like that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, and yes, the two things are very different, but
I guess I was just made a mental note for
myself sometimes and how I'm speaking that like to having
that as.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
A well, that probably applies to you more.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
As a well. No, I think both apply to me.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
How I just remembered how we ended up talking about
this online where I said, oh, hey, send me your
post because I had shared in Stories a rude comment
that a listener left me, like i'd put up some video.
I think I was hiking with my cousin and they
just commented like Hugh. Now I don't remember exactly what
they said, but something like oh, I bet Ben's glad
he's rid of you, or yes, I remember that he
(08:45):
probably couldn't stand being married to You're crazy or whatever.
And so I just shared it and I'm like, oh,
my gosh, people are so nice.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
On the internet. It's so great.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
And then that's when Ashley shared with me the post
and I was like, oh, email that to me. So
I definitely can read relate to the online thing. I
guess I just thought too. And at work conversations or
different things. It's like, Okay, would I be saying this
or should I say this?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I kind of like the way you responded because it
was kind of funny and it wasn't at that you
weren't being rude or mean to or making fun of anybody.
It was more about the comment, oh that people.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Are so kind. Yeah, it was being sarcastic. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Yeah, But I don't think you, because of the human
you are struggle as much with oh should I be
mean to somebody on the internet versus like should I
say this about this person in my life if they're
not here. That's where I was saying. You might relate
to that part more. I think you probably get a
lot of the crazy mean people are not thinking that
you're a human for some reason. Because they don't know
(09:44):
you personally and they only hear your voice, they can
think that you're just like somebody that lives in the radio.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
There are times where I've gotten you know, emails or dms,
and then if I reply, they're suddenly like, oh, you're
real love the show of Listen Forever, y'all are awesome,
and I'm like wait, and it.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Was like something mean They would have said, Yeah, always
thought you were just again living in the radio, which
when I was little, I did think people lived inside
of the radio and like talked their miniature people.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, so maybe that's what they're thinking.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I mean, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You think, Okay, these talking little things where they're coming
from little people are coming out of my radio. But yeah,
when I first started the Bobby Bone Show back in
the day, yeah, in two thousand and six, two thousand
and seven, I spend a lot of time in front
of my computer with emails.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Like I would sit in.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Front of them if I got a hate email for
like an hour and I would be drafting a reply
in a kind way. But then eventually I started to
let that go and I'm like, okay, just delete it.
Why am I taking the time? But I had never
been in this profession. I had never had anything like that,
and I had a growth thick skin.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And that's before social media, so.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
It was literally on email. Yeah, there was no.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
So you're not also used to like online bullying, that
isn't a thing. I heard somebody I forgot who it was.
It was a person in the Spotlight talking about their
struggle with the online bullying stuff and They were talking
about how a lot of times you hear, well, you
sign up for this, this is what you sign up for.
And I agree with what they said. No it's not,
(11:15):
and why would we stoop down to the oh, we
just should accept this. It's just is the It just
is the way the world is versus it doesn't actually
have to be this way. We could actually think, hey,
maybe I should be a little kinder. We can't actually
call into the people who are spreading and creating threads
that were meant for good to harm. We're allowed to
(11:39):
shift that. We can change that. We don't have to say, well,
you're on the radio, so you just that's just what
you get. Why why why?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Have you seen the David Beckham documentary that' stuff on Netflix?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
We started watching it yesterday.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Okay, I have a fashion to the episode where.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
He we haven't finished the first episode.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Okay, so you're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
It's early on, and this is I didn't know anything
about David Beckham's career, but this isn't ruining anything.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I don't think this happened a long time ago. It
was in the news.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
But he messed up in a game like a big game.
I don't know if it's the World Cup or what.
I can't I was multitasking, so I was picking up
bits and pieces and he got fouled out of a game.
I don't know the soccer language. But he got a flag,
a red card. Yeah, red card. He coln't play anymore.
Which I'm going to my first Nashville soccer game this weekend.
You're in Saturday, the first like major league soccer game.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Very excited on Saturday. So you'll know, red card, you're out.
Yellow card is a warning. Okay, you get another one.
You get a red card and you're out. So Becks
that's David Beckham's nickname. He got a red card, and
then they lost the game. So the Cold Country blamed him,
(12:55):
blamed him, and it was brutal for them, like even
Posh by Victoria they had just they had a baby.
I mean, it took forever for him to come out.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Actually I'm still not even to the part where he's
come out of outliving that part of it so brutal.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I mean they beat him down.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I mean he was like and it's soccer, every news outlet,
every human like they were just like suddenly, I mean
they were praising him right before, and then suddenly he
makes them of the earth and it's like.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Well, that's he didn't kill anybody.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
He didn't sign up for that.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And by the way, well this part I'll leave. I'm
not gonna say okay, because this part maybe.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
People didn't know about. But there is a twist to
the story.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Oh and it's very fascinating and it makes me want
to be like, well, that.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Sucks you loser.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
But to him, to the other.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Guy, I'm not gonna take my frustration and anger out
on him, Okay, I will.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Say, I want to get your feedback when you see
your soccer the soccer game, because one thing that bothers
me about men's soccer is they just flop all over
the place just to get fouls and to get people
so they can have a free kick or get the
ball back. So if literally somebody like touches you, the
guy will flop to the ground and I think you
should get carted for doing that, and sometimes you do.
(14:10):
So I want to get your feedback of what you
think about the flopping.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
But how am I gonna know?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Because you can tell if somebody really deserves like somebody
sticks her foot out and trips somebody's ankles. That's one thing. Then,
like it's a contact sport, you're gonna get pushed a
little bit. So I just want you to I want
to get your feedback and see, did you think there
was a lot of faking it? It's faking it. It's
like they're acting to get the ball like wrestling.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yes, but that's for well, rattling is fake, but that
of it looks real.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah, but they're not. They're not doing that. That's a
show versus they're doing that to get the other guy
in trouble. They're pretending to be hurt so they get
the ball. I'm like, just get up and go chase
the ball back and get that wine.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Okay, anyway, I'll see if I can pick up on that.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I mean this is literally my first soccer game.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
That's not you're like, I don't actually know the point
of soccer yet.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Hy mcau with soccer with my kids.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
So I've never I mean besides the David Beckham documentary
and then this upcoming game this weekend, that's the most
like pro or real soccer type stuff I've ever watched
in my life.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
So, Kat, where can people find you?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
On Instagram, at cat dot Defada and at You Need
Therapy podcast but.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Be nice over there, and I am at Radio Amy.
You can hit up Radioamy dot com as well. And
then yeah, Kats you Need Therapy podcast handle is obviously
there because her podcast You Need Therapy So check out that.
So many amazing episodes up there. She has episodes that
come out every Monday and every Wednesday, which Couch Talks
(15:39):
is on Wednesday, and that's normally answering like an email,
so you could also send her emails.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Where do people do that?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Katherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com boom, all.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Right, have the day you need to have. Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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