November 13, 2021 • 21 mins
Lisa shares what She Knows Better Now -- taking a look at how her limited view of health negatively impacted her in the past, and explains WHAT she does now that she knows better.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't lend my body out out everything that I'm made.
DOT won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning
to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I
feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out wait if you feel
(00:24):
it with your eyes in the air, She'll love to
the mood. I am there, say good day and did
you and die out? Welcome back everybody. This is my
first episode back after having a baby. I think, right, yeah,
it's been a minute, so I'm excited. Yes, to be
here with you and us doing an episode today. To
(00:47):
get there feels like old time, so I'm loving it.
May I just say you look radiant? Oh thank you.
I just scrubbed my face and your harror looks beautiful.
I don't know if you have what the mom life
is like by I know you posted something on Instagram
the other day about you got your hair done and
if you know, some people associate that with guilty pleasure
(01:08):
and I loved that post so much, so I want
to encourage people to go to your Instagram after they
listen to this episode and read that post you put up.
I think the photo is your beautiful hair. It's like
a you put up a few different photos, but you
can see your curly hair, and then you just gave
us permission to do things that satisfy us and make
(01:28):
us happy without feeling guilty about it. Yes, the idea
was we need to really think about the language that
we use, and the word guilty pleasure just never settled
right for me. And I don't know if you're like
asked this in interviews a lot, but people always ask me, like,
what's your guilty pleasure, like looking for some confession that
like I eat cookies before dinner, like you know, silly
things like that. And sure, I might do something like that,
(01:50):
but I don't feel guilty for the things that I
do that make me feel good. And I think that
as a culture, we're robbing ourselves of the potential to
feel really good when it's available to us by having
it kind of like warped under this idea that it
shouldn't feel good, like if it costs something, or if
it's like you know, reality TV, if it's not stimulating
(02:10):
our brain in a productive way. And yeah, I just
strongly believe that pleasures should be pleasuresome and we don't
need to attach guilt to anything that feels good, unless,
of course, you're committing a crime or killing somebody, but
obviously nobody hears doing that. Yes, okay, So at Lisa
Ham and that's h A y I am is where
y'all can see that post, and then Happy Saturday at
(02:32):
my fam. We're excited to bring you this episode, and
Lisa's going to explain what we're going to get into
because this was her idea, and I think that it
will be really helpful. It's something we're gonna do today
and then next Saturday will be this theme. So at
Lisa take it away. Yeah. So when I was driving
the other day, I've had a very few moments where
my brain is working, but I had this idea to
talk about a what we know Now episode, and I
(02:55):
recognize that it could be triggering to talk about what
we did then, but I think when we explain the
now and why we're doing it, it's going to really
be more helpful than it could be harmful, because when
we can really see how how small and limited our
minds were when we thought we were doing things for
a quote unquote health, and then compare them to what
(03:16):
we're actually doing now, we could really see a whole,
big picture of health, and I think it's going to
help a lot of people recognize really normalized patterns of
behavior in our culture that are disordered and also contributing
to what I call mind body disconnection, which means not
honoring your needs because you think you need to eat
or work out in a certain way. So the concept
(03:39):
is we're gonna talk about what we did then and
what we do now and why we do it now
and why that's better. Right, So if you do any
of these things, don't feel bad. You're not alone this.
There's no shame in doing this. You may just have
to hear why, why we know better now and why
we don't do it, and then sit with that. Hopefully
it will be helpful to you. And next time you
(04:00):
maybe catch yourself doing one of these things, if you
can relate to what we're gonna say, you might be like, oh, yeah,
I remember Lisa and Amy saying this, and that'll help
you reset if you need to love it. So I'll
go first on this episode, and then Amy is going
to share with me the things that she did then
verse now. So the first one for me, I'm thirty
three years old, I grew up when like we used
(04:21):
to read real magazines and not just scroll on social media,
and one of the biggest things that used to say
on everything was to put your dressing on the side,
Like that was the pro health tip, or don't use dressing.
Either put your dressing on the side, or don't use dressing.
Either way, the message was dressing is bad. And so
all of us around the world we're eating dry, crunchy
(04:45):
salads that were hard to swallow and forcing them down
our throat, thinking that we hate salad, but we have
to eat it. Like this flash forward to now, not
only are many dressings full of healthy fat, nutrients and
satisfy ying components to them, but they can actually help
us eat more vegetables and eat more salad. And when
(05:06):
it comes to this conversation, I think it's important to
always ask yourself, if it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
And at the same time, if you want to eat
more vegetables, improve your digestion, feel bad or things like that,
think about how you can do that and what you
can add to your plate versus takeaway. And I think
this mindset really contributed to this idea that healthy food
(05:30):
taste bad, that healthy food is painful to eat, that
it requires discipline, when in fact, my relationship now to
food with dressing is can I get more dressing? Or
please mix it all together. And it's just one of
those things that has allowed me to reconnect to foods
that I love and enjoy them and find satisfaction from
eating them. I don't know, Amy, did you? Were you
(05:50):
familiar with that one? Yes? I think satisfaction is key
and this is something I learned from you too, And
to be satisfied, you need to give your body what
it needs. And sometimes even the simple act of dressing
on the side or no dressing please, is a type
of restriction, and then you end up eating way more
(06:11):
than you would have eaten. And you maybe start with
the salad at least this was the case for me,
and you would think, Okay, that's all I'm gonna eat.
That's all I'm gonna eat. But because that there was
restriction there, then I ended up eating more things and
more things, and that led to more food consumption than
if I had eaten the meal as it was thought
up and prepared. And you know, whoever, if I'm at
(06:32):
a restaurant or was created that way, and I took
it in. I maybe would have been satisfied by eating
half the salad that day, who knows, or the whole thing,
who cares. But because I created this you know, mind
game with oh dressing on the side, and I need
to just eat plaine, I mean plane romane. There have
been times where I've gone to a restaurant and so
many things didn't fit all the different boxes of what
(06:54):
I needed. That I was eating straight up romane and
that is it, and no wonder I was starving for
other things and it would lead to more consumption because
I thought I was doing what was good for my body.
And really, had I taken it all in the way
the chef prepared it or why the restaurant had it
(07:15):
on the menu that way, I would have enjoyed it
and been more satisfied. And two caveats I just want
to say here is that I'm not saying that eating
more is bad not good. What we're saying is to
find a comfortable, peaceful place while you're eating, rather than
find yourself in what I amy, I could relate to
what you're saying to where like you're you eat you know,
(07:36):
just the dry food and then you're in this like
disconnected place and all you can think about is more
and more food, whereas you can actually be present to
conversation when you're being satisfied with the meal, if that
makes sense right, And it's either you're at a restaurant
or you're at a friend's house. That's why I say
the way it was intended to be served to you.
You're appreciating what is in front of you. Yeah, there's
(07:58):
something about it that is just way more satisfying mind, body,
and spirit. Like all the things. You're more satisfied, you're
more connected to it. And even now, if you want
to have dressing on the side, we're not faulting for that. There.
You might want dressing on the side because you want
to control how the same thing, but you want to
control it. That is okay, I still do that. Or
(08:19):
I'm like, I don't even know if I like this dressing.
I don't like this dressing. I don't want a soggy salad.
There's a time and a place for that. But what
I'm talking about is a hard rule in attempt to
control calories. When we talk about dressing on the side,
we are purely viewing health from a caloric standpoint, and
what we're missing is is that that dressing can help
(08:42):
us eat more nutrients, more minerals, more fiber, more of
that good stuff because we've minimized health down to calories.
Thank you for summing up my point as a whole.
So that's just something to consider your The amount of
dressing that you want to use is totally up to you.
But really it took me from that scarcity mindset of
oh I have to eat so little and control every
little calorie to oh my gosh, this helps me actually
(09:04):
eat more greens, more fiber, more nutrients, more minerals. How
awesome is that end? I'm satisfied, my needs are met.
I'm not thinking about food all of the time and
on that constant chase love it. Okay, what is something
else that you now know more and do differently? So
(09:25):
I think a lot of us, especially during this holiday season,
we're really focused on thinking that because we are eating
more holiday foods, that we need to burn it off.
And I specifically remember this time of year being this
time where I wanted to like wake up extra early
so I could get that workout in so I could
quote unquote stay on track. Whatever that track was right.
(09:48):
It was just it wasn't coming from a place that
I loved my body. It was coming from a place
that I'm fearful what my body will do if I
don't tame it. And I used to wake up really early,
like five am early to get that cardio work out
in or whatever it was at the time. And now
I understand how important sleep is for health. Health is
not food and fitness period. Health is our sleep, our
(10:12):
inner thoughts, our mental health, our well being, all of
those things. And recognizing that allows me to see how
important rest is for my physical body as wealth as
my brain health. And getting those extra hours might mean
missing a workout, but it means that my cortisol, my
stress hormone, is actually going to stay lower. Because when
(10:33):
we work out, when we're stressed, when we're tired, all
those things, cortisol jack's all the way up, and that
can totally deplete us. But allowing ourselves to rest and
restore can be the absolute best thing for us. Now,
if you wake up at five am and you're feeling, oh,
my body wants to move and get a workout in
or or a flow, whatever feels good for you. Going
back to that idea that there's no hard rules, but
(10:55):
it's important to recognize that the rigidity of I have
to wake up early to get that workout isn't the
only way. Yeah, Like it's not oh, this is going
to be something that's adding to my overall well being.
It's more of a stress marker of like, oh, I
have to get this done or my day is going
to be off for I'm gonna you know, it's a
punishment of sorts, or a way so that you can eat.
(11:18):
There's a lot of different reasons why you might put
pressure on yourself to work out, but when yes, it's
a rigid rule, and I used to operate that same
exact way. I wouldn't maybe get to wake up early
because I did a morning show or I still do
a morning show, the Bobby Bone Show, So I might
sacrifice sleep at bedtime to get a workout in. And
what I could have been in bed an hour thirty
(11:40):
minutes earlier, which is probably what my body needed after
a long day, but it would be ten pm and
I'd be like, well, nope, I've got to check that
box or it's going to mess up my entire body.
I think I came on your podcast last year, and
we talked about the glimphatic system and brain health, and
if we look at this idea that like the only
thing that matters with health is food and fit us,
we really miss out on an opportunity to take care
(12:03):
of our total bodies and our major organs, like our brain.
When we sleep, the glimphatic system kicks into gear and
all the toxins that we naturally accumulate leave through our body.
But if we're not getting enough sleep, that junk is
kind of accumulating. And this was never part of the
conversation and health, and that's why I'm so passionate about
expanding out that viewpoint so that we can skip that
(12:25):
workout when we need rest, recognizing that we're actually still
taking really good care of our health even though we
didn't make it to the gym exactly. I love that one.
What's another thing that you now you know better? This
is a huge one for me because it has helped
me with not just the mental pain but the physical
pain that was associated with my disordered eating. And it
(12:46):
was the idea that I can and should only eat
when I'm really really really really hungry, like starving, like
I would think that that was the proper time to
start a meal, and I push myself to that limit.
But what that did is it left me evenance. It
left me unable to decide what to eat in a
civilized manner and unable to find a comfortable full point
(13:10):
to a creative, chaotic eating every single time, and took
me from completely empty two stuffed every time, so that
physically being empty in my stomach hurt that starving feeling
where your stomach is like er. And then it took
me to painfully full where I'm like, I'm never eating again,
multiple times a day. And that's how I thought it
had to be. Compound that with the thoughts around food
(13:33):
of when will I get to eat next, When will
I get to eat next, to at the end of
that meal, being like I'm never eating again. I was
so consumed with food, either physical pain from it or
thoughts of it at all times, whereas now I actually
want to get ahead of that physical empty I just
want to eat when I'm a little bit hungry, physically
(13:53):
hungry speaking, so that I can be more intentional with
what I'm eating. What do I want right now? What
would make this more satisfying as opposed to like the
grand sweep that it used to be, and a lot
of people with disordered eating or eating disorders can relate,
I think to the fact that your meals when you
are in that state are really weird. You might think
(14:14):
that they're good, but they're they're really weird, disconnected, random things,
and it's because you're just like revenous to put it
all together, and everything tastes so good because you're so
hungry that you lose complete connection to your body. I
don't know, could you relate to like eating like really
weird things when you were Oh, yes, for sure, like it.
It would always be I'm still grabbing for more. Would
(14:34):
be like I go to the fridge, eat something, go
to the pantry, eat something, sit down, eat something like
It would be like a thirty minute or longer or
deal of like okay, meal time, which if I had
been taking care of myself and eating properly throughout the day,
it could have been a ten fifteen minute thing, unless
it's like a dinner worm with people. But I'm just
(14:54):
using like lunch as an example. Or if I went
all morning long, all afternoon and then at two p um,
I'm like, okay, I need to eat and kids are
at school, husbands at work, like I happen to be home,
and yeah, it would be a much longer process than
it needed to be. That left me completely feeling gross
as I don't know that anybody. It always led to
(15:17):
the gross feeling. But you do. You feel full, you
feel icky, you have you feel regret, you feel shame
of like looking at like, oh my gosh, did I
really just eat all of those things? But there was
no satisfaction or I would go from salty to sweeten
and that that still happens to me to this day,
but I'm more aware of it and like okay, cool,
and then I can go on like the amount of
(15:37):
times I used to think about food in a day,
and then I look at how I am now with it.
I have such relief And I don't share that to
brag in a way, because if I was old me
was in a place where some of you listening might be,
where I still was obsessed with food and thinking about
all the time, I would be like, okay, yeah, you
way to go, like I'm still struggling. So I want
(15:59):
to say this with sensitivity, but I just want you
to know there is freedom and there is such hope
and like I am a I'm a success story. That
might be a weird way to say it, but that
it's possible because there was I'm sitting here listening to
Lisa talk and I'm like, oh gosh, there was a
time where food just had so much power over me.
(16:19):
And now it's like I've taken my power back, and
eating throughout the day and giving your body and your
brain what it needs and not starving it and waiting
for those hunger cues of like hello, because then your
brain doesn't trust you. It's like I can't trust this
person because she does not know how to eat, and
she just made me get straight up starving. So now
(16:41):
I'm going to eat meat meat because I don't know
when she's going to feed me again. And I also
want to flag what you said. You said you feel
like you got your power back, something I thought about yesterday.
It's a little tangential, But is this like idea of
food freedom everybody. It's been like plastered all over the
internet to the point where I think, if you see it,
at least for me, I'm like almost rolling my eyes,
like food freedom, food for you, I don't know, just
(17:02):
for a long time. It's an important concept, don't get
me wrong. But what is underneath it is the important
concept that you amy hit the nail on the head
with food. Freedom is great, that's when you start to
feel freedom around what you can eat, when you can eat,
and how you can eat it. But underneath that is
getting your power back and your life back and creating
again what I call that mind body connection. So food
(17:25):
freedom is just the start, but what's underneath it is
you getting your life back, your brain space back, a
comfortability in your body back. And I don't mean comfortability
where you look in the mirror and say, wow, you
look amazing. I mean stopping from experiencing that place where
you're so painfully hungry, we're so painfully full, ending meals
at a place where you know you can have more
(17:45):
later and you feel really confident to stop then because
there is no hard stop time of when you're allowed
to eat and when you're not and to It's kind
of tie in the working out thing. I think sometimes
when we restrict and then we end up eating way
more and we don't feel good, then it's a cycle.
It all feeds off of each other pun intended. I
(18:05):
feel like if I had those moments where maybe I
would have been fine without not working out that day,
but the minute I went over that threshold and felt
gross and full and whatever, then it was like, all right,
now I gotta work out. I mean, I just ruined
that because I need to burn all of this because
this feeling doesn't feel good. So I feel like if
I work out, that will help me feel better. And
(18:25):
it's just this weird cycle, and you're you're creating a
negative relationship to exercise that way, because you're using it
solely as a tool to counteract what you quote unquote
did when the two are separate and can both be
good for you, But now we've made both of them
negative experiences exactly, why don't you share one more thing
(18:47):
that you now know better. The last one I'm going
to share today is thinking that bloating was bad and
that eating a salad would get rid of it. So
these are kind of two different points I want to
get into. But the first one is that bloating is
normal to some degree. Now, what you're experiencing is it
bloating or is its stomach distension After you eat a meal.
(19:08):
Your stomach is only about the size of a fist,
So I hold your fist up amy like that's like
less than a sandwich, right, So one sandwich in your
stomach and there's going to be some distension. There's a
digestive period that needs to happen. And so when for me,
when I was in this disordered state, I was body
checking all the time. So any time I passed a mirror,
(19:29):
I was lifting up my shirt to see what my
abs or my stomach looked like, or this and that.
And I was so hyper focused that I noticed really
subtle changes such as normal stomach distension and called it bloating.
Now bloating if it is uncomfortable, if it is constant,
if it is giving you pain, that is a different story,
and you should consult with your doctor to make sure
(19:51):
there are no g I things. However, I think in
our society we are really obsessed with our own bodies
to the point where we are over checking them and
finding things that are totally normal and labeling them as
something that's not, such as bloating, and then looking for
a solution. So why I said the salad portion was
because back then I would only eat salad. I wouldn't
(20:13):
eat carbohydrates and things like that, and I didn't understand
why some of my friends who ate whatever they wanted
didn't have the stomach distension that I was experiencing after
a meal. And you have to consider the fact that
a lot of healthy foods like salad, high fiber stuff
takes longer to digest and therefore is going to cause
(20:35):
possibly more stomach distension or possibly minor bloating. That doesn't
mean that it's a bad thing at all. We just
need to, really, I think, remove ourselves from this idea
that if our bodies change after a meal or a
couple hours after a meal, doesn't mean that we've done
something wrong. And instead of reaching for the food that
you think should fix it because it's healthy, ask yourself
what would satisfy me in this moment. I love that
(20:58):
it makes me think of one of the things that
I'm going to share next week when I go with
most of things that I now no better along the
lines of body checking and just you know, weighing yourself
and the roller coaster ride that that can take you on.
So yeah, I'll be unpacking some of that next Saturday. Lisa,
I think this is a good idea. Hopefully it will
(21:19):
be helpful for y'all. Don't forget if you have any
thoughts or your personal journey you would like to share
with us. We're still going to continue, especially into sharing
personal stories from you, so we would love to get
them from you, and you can email us hello at
Outweigh podcast dot com. I hope this was helpful, and
(21:40):
I hope the next time you fall into one of
these traps you're able to zoom out and see why
it might be time to do things a little bit differently.
All right, You'll have a good day by
I won't lend my body out out everything that I'm made.
DOT won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning
to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I
feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out wait if you feel
(00:24):
it with your eyes in the air, She'll love to
the mood. I am there, say good day and did
you and die out? Welcome back everybody. This is my
first episode back after having a baby. I think, right, yeah,
it's been a minute, so I'm excited. Yes, to be
here with you and us doing an episode today. To
(00:47):
get there feels like old time, so I'm loving it.
May I just say you look radiant? Oh thank you.
I just scrubbed my face and your harror looks beautiful.
I don't know if you have what the mom life
is like by I know you posted something on Instagram
the other day about you got your hair done and
if you know, some people associate that with guilty pleasure
(01:08):
and I loved that post so much, so I want
to encourage people to go to your Instagram after they
listen to this episode and read that post you put up.
I think the photo is your beautiful hair. It's like
a you put up a few different photos, but you
can see your curly hair, and then you just gave
us permission to do things that satisfy us and make
(01:28):
us happy without feeling guilty about it. Yes, the idea
was we need to really think about the language that
we use, and the word guilty pleasure just never settled
right for me. And I don't know if you're like
asked this in interviews a lot, but people always ask me, like,
what's your guilty pleasure, like looking for some confession that
like I eat cookies before dinner, like you know, silly
things like that. And sure, I might do something like that,
(01:50):
but I don't feel guilty for the things that I
do that make me feel good. And I think that
as a culture, we're robbing ourselves of the potential to
feel really good when it's available to us by having
it kind of like warped under this idea that it
shouldn't feel good, like if it costs something, or if
it's like you know, reality TV, if it's not stimulating
(02:10):
our brain in a productive way. And yeah, I just
strongly believe that pleasures should be pleasuresome and we don't
need to attach guilt to anything that feels good, unless,
of course, you're committing a crime or killing somebody, but
obviously nobody hears doing that. Yes, okay, So at Lisa
Ham and that's h A y I am is where
y'all can see that post, and then Happy Saturday at
(02:32):
my fam. We're excited to bring you this episode, and
Lisa's going to explain what we're going to get into
because this was her idea, and I think that it
will be really helpful. It's something we're gonna do today
and then next Saturday will be this theme. So at
Lisa take it away. Yeah. So when I was driving
the other day, I've had a very few moments where
my brain is working, but I had this idea to
talk about a what we know Now episode, and I
(02:55):
recognize that it could be triggering to talk about what
we did then, but I think when we explain the
now and why we're doing it, it's going to really
be more helpful than it could be harmful, because when
we can really see how how small and limited our
minds were when we thought we were doing things for
a quote unquote health, and then compare them to what
(03:16):
we're actually doing now, we could really see a whole,
big picture of health, and I think it's going to
help a lot of people recognize really normalized patterns of
behavior in our culture that are disordered and also contributing
to what I call mind body disconnection, which means not
honoring your needs because you think you need to eat
or work out in a certain way. So the concept
(03:39):
is we're gonna talk about what we did then and
what we do now and why we do it now
and why that's better. Right, So if you do any
of these things, don't feel bad. You're not alone this.
There's no shame in doing this. You may just have
to hear why, why we know better now and why
we don't do it, and then sit with that. Hopefully
it will be helpful to you. And next time you
(04:00):
maybe catch yourself doing one of these things, if you
can relate to what we're gonna say, you might be like, oh, yeah,
I remember Lisa and Amy saying this, and that'll help
you reset if you need to love it. So I'll
go first on this episode, and then Amy is going
to share with me the things that she did then
verse now. So the first one for me, I'm thirty
three years old, I grew up when like we used
(04:21):
to read real magazines and not just scroll on social media,
and one of the biggest things that used to say
on everything was to put your dressing on the side,
Like that was the pro health tip, or don't use dressing.
Either put your dressing on the side, or don't use dressing.
Either way, the message was dressing is bad. And so
all of us around the world we're eating dry, crunchy
(04:45):
salads that were hard to swallow and forcing them down
our throat, thinking that we hate salad, but we have
to eat it. Like this flash forward to now, not
only are many dressings full of healthy fat, nutrients and
satisfy ying components to them, but they can actually help
us eat more vegetables and eat more salad. And when
(05:06):
it comes to this conversation, I think it's important to
always ask yourself, if it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
And at the same time, if you want to eat
more vegetables, improve your digestion, feel bad or things like that,
think about how you can do that and what you
can add to your plate versus takeaway. And I think
this mindset really contributed to this idea that healthy food
(05:30):
taste bad, that healthy food is painful to eat, that
it requires discipline, when in fact, my relationship now to
food with dressing is can I get more dressing? Or
please mix it all together. And it's just one of
those things that has allowed me to reconnect to foods
that I love and enjoy them and find satisfaction from
eating them. I don't know, Amy, did you? Were you
(05:50):
familiar with that one? Yes? I think satisfaction is key
and this is something I learned from you too, And
to be satisfied, you need to give your body what
it needs. And sometimes even the simple act of dressing
on the side or no dressing please, is a type
of restriction, and then you end up eating way more
(06:11):
than you would have eaten. And you maybe start with
the salad at least this was the case for me,
and you would think, Okay, that's all I'm gonna eat.
That's all I'm gonna eat. But because that there was
restriction there, then I ended up eating more things and
more things, and that led to more food consumption than
if I had eaten the meal as it was thought
up and prepared. And you know, whoever, if I'm at
(06:32):
a restaurant or was created that way, and I took
it in. I maybe would have been satisfied by eating
half the salad that day, who knows, or the whole thing,
who cares. But because I created this you know, mind
game with oh dressing on the side, and I need
to just eat plaine, I mean plane romane. There have
been times where I've gone to a restaurant and so
many things didn't fit all the different boxes of what
(06:54):
I needed. That I was eating straight up romane and
that is it, and no wonder I was starving for
other things and it would lead to more consumption because
I thought I was doing what was good for my body.
And really, had I taken it all in the way
the chef prepared it or why the restaurant had it
(07:15):
on the menu that way, I would have enjoyed it
and been more satisfied. And two caveats I just want
to say here is that I'm not saying that eating
more is bad not good. What we're saying is to
find a comfortable, peaceful place while you're eating, rather than
find yourself in what I amy, I could relate to
what you're saying to where like you're you eat you know,
(07:36):
just the dry food and then you're in this like
disconnected place and all you can think about is more
and more food, whereas you can actually be present to
conversation when you're being satisfied with the meal, if that
makes sense right, And it's either you're at a restaurant
or you're at a friend's house. That's why I say
the way it was intended to be served to you.
You're appreciating what is in front of you. Yeah, there's
(07:58):
something about it that is just way more satisfying mind, body,
and spirit. Like all the things. You're more satisfied, you're
more connected to it. And even now, if you want
to have dressing on the side, we're not faulting for that. There.
You might want dressing on the side because you want
to control how the same thing, but you want to
control it. That is okay, I still do that. Or
(08:19):
I'm like, I don't even know if I like this dressing.
I don't like this dressing. I don't want a soggy salad.
There's a time and a place for that. But what
I'm talking about is a hard rule in attempt to
control calories. When we talk about dressing on the side,
we are purely viewing health from a caloric standpoint, and
what we're missing is is that that dressing can help
(08:42):
us eat more nutrients, more minerals, more fiber, more of
that good stuff because we've minimized health down to calories.
Thank you for summing up my point as a whole.
So that's just something to consider your The amount of
dressing that you want to use is totally up to you.
But really it took me from that scarcity mindset of
oh I have to eat so little and control every
little calorie to oh my gosh, this helps me actually
(09:04):
eat more greens, more fiber, more nutrients, more minerals. How
awesome is that end? I'm satisfied, my needs are met.
I'm not thinking about food all of the time and
on that constant chase love it. Okay, what is something
else that you now know more and do differently? So
(09:25):
I think a lot of us, especially during this holiday season,
we're really focused on thinking that because we are eating
more holiday foods, that we need to burn it off.
And I specifically remember this time of year being this
time where I wanted to like wake up extra early
so I could get that workout in so I could
quote unquote stay on track. Whatever that track was right.
(09:48):
It was just it wasn't coming from a place that
I loved my body. It was coming from a place
that I'm fearful what my body will do if I
don't tame it. And I used to wake up really early,
like five am early to get that cardio work out
in or whatever it was at the time. And now
I understand how important sleep is for health. Health is
not food and fitness period. Health is our sleep, our
(10:12):
inner thoughts, our mental health, our well being, all of
those things. And recognizing that allows me to see how
important rest is for my physical body as wealth as
my brain health. And getting those extra hours might mean
missing a workout, but it means that my cortisol, my
stress hormone, is actually going to stay lower. Because when
(10:33):
we work out, when we're stressed, when we're tired, all
those things, cortisol jack's all the way up, and that
can totally deplete us. But allowing ourselves to rest and
restore can be the absolute best thing for us. Now,
if you wake up at five am and you're feeling, oh,
my body wants to move and get a workout in
or or a flow, whatever feels good for you. Going
back to that idea that there's no hard rules, but
(10:55):
it's important to recognize that the rigidity of I have
to wake up early to get that workout isn't the
only way. Yeah, Like it's not oh, this is going
to be something that's adding to my overall well being.
It's more of a stress marker of like, oh, I
have to get this done or my day is going
to be off for I'm gonna you know, it's a
punishment of sorts, or a way so that you can eat.
(11:18):
There's a lot of different reasons why you might put
pressure on yourself to work out, but when yes, it's
a rigid rule, and I used to operate that same
exact way. I wouldn't maybe get to wake up early
because I did a morning show or I still do
a morning show, the Bobby Bone Show, So I might
sacrifice sleep at bedtime to get a workout in. And
what I could have been in bed an hour thirty
(11:40):
minutes earlier, which is probably what my body needed after
a long day, but it would be ten pm and
I'd be like, well, nope, I've got to check that
box or it's going to mess up my entire body.
I think I came on your podcast last year, and
we talked about the glimphatic system and brain health, and
if we look at this idea that like the only
thing that matters with health is food and fit us,
we really miss out on an opportunity to take care
(12:03):
of our total bodies and our major organs, like our brain.
When we sleep, the glimphatic system kicks into gear and
all the toxins that we naturally accumulate leave through our body.
But if we're not getting enough sleep, that junk is
kind of accumulating. And this was never part of the
conversation and health, and that's why I'm so passionate about
expanding out that viewpoint so that we can skip that
(12:25):
workout when we need rest, recognizing that we're actually still
taking really good care of our health even though we
didn't make it to the gym exactly. I love that one.
What's another thing that you now you know better? This
is a huge one for me because it has helped
me with not just the mental pain but the physical
pain that was associated with my disordered eating. And it
(12:46):
was the idea that I can and should only eat
when I'm really really really really hungry, like starving, like
I would think that that was the proper time to
start a meal, and I push myself to that limit.
But what that did is it left me evenance. It
left me unable to decide what to eat in a
civilized manner and unable to find a comfortable full point
(13:10):
to a creative, chaotic eating every single time, and took
me from completely empty two stuffed every time, so that
physically being empty in my stomach hurt that starving feeling
where your stomach is like er. And then it took
me to painfully full where I'm like, I'm never eating again,
multiple times a day. And that's how I thought it
had to be. Compound that with the thoughts around food
(13:33):
of when will I get to eat next, When will
I get to eat next, to at the end of
that meal, being like I'm never eating again. I was
so consumed with food, either physical pain from it or
thoughts of it at all times, whereas now I actually
want to get ahead of that physical empty I just
want to eat when I'm a little bit hungry, physically
(13:53):
hungry speaking, so that I can be more intentional with
what I'm eating. What do I want right now? What
would make this more satisfying as opposed to like the
grand sweep that it used to be, and a lot
of people with disordered eating or eating disorders can relate,
I think to the fact that your meals when you
are in that state are really weird. You might think
(14:14):
that they're good, but they're they're really weird, disconnected, random things,
and it's because you're just like revenous to put it
all together, and everything tastes so good because you're so
hungry that you lose complete connection to your body. I
don't know, could you relate to like eating like really
weird things when you were Oh, yes, for sure, like it.
It would always be I'm still grabbing for more. Would
(14:34):
be like I go to the fridge, eat something, go
to the pantry, eat something, sit down, eat something like
It would be like a thirty minute or longer or
deal of like okay, meal time, which if I had
been taking care of myself and eating properly throughout the day,
it could have been a ten fifteen minute thing, unless
it's like a dinner worm with people. But I'm just
(14:54):
using like lunch as an example. Or if I went
all morning long, all afternoon and then at two p um,
I'm like, okay, I need to eat and kids are
at school, husbands at work, like I happen to be home,
and yeah, it would be a much longer process than
it needed to be. That left me completely feeling gross
as I don't know that anybody. It always led to
(15:17):
the gross feeling. But you do. You feel full, you
feel icky, you have you feel regret, you feel shame
of like looking at like, oh my gosh, did I
really just eat all of those things? But there was
no satisfaction or I would go from salty to sweeten
and that that still happens to me to this day,
but I'm more aware of it and like okay, cool,
and then I can go on like the amount of
(15:37):
times I used to think about food in a day,
and then I look at how I am now with it.
I have such relief And I don't share that to
brag in a way, because if I was old me
was in a place where some of you listening might be,
where I still was obsessed with food and thinking about
all the time, I would be like, okay, yeah, you
way to go, like I'm still struggling. So I want
(15:59):
to say this with sensitivity, but I just want you
to know there is freedom and there is such hope
and like I am a I'm a success story. That
might be a weird way to say it, but that
it's possible because there was I'm sitting here listening to
Lisa talk and I'm like, oh gosh, there was a
time where food just had so much power over me.
(16:19):
And now it's like I've taken my power back, and
eating throughout the day and giving your body and your
brain what it needs and not starving it and waiting
for those hunger cues of like hello, because then your
brain doesn't trust you. It's like I can't trust this
person because she does not know how to eat, and
she just made me get straight up starving. So now
(16:41):
I'm going to eat meat meat because I don't know
when she's going to feed me again. And I also
want to flag what you said. You said you feel
like you got your power back, something I thought about yesterday.
It's a little tangential, But is this like idea of
food freedom everybody. It's been like plastered all over the
internet to the point where I think, if you see it,
at least for me, I'm like almost rolling my eyes,
like food freedom, food for you, I don't know, just
(17:02):
for a long time. It's an important concept, don't get
me wrong. But what is underneath it is the important
concept that you amy hit the nail on the head
with food. Freedom is great, that's when you start to
feel freedom around what you can eat, when you can eat,
and how you can eat it. But underneath that is
getting your power back and your life back and creating
again what I call that mind body connection. So food
(17:25):
freedom is just the start, but what's underneath it is
you getting your life back, your brain space back, a
comfortability in your body back. And I don't mean comfortability
where you look in the mirror and say, wow, you
look amazing. I mean stopping from experiencing that place where
you're so painfully hungry, we're so painfully full, ending meals
at a place where you know you can have more
(17:45):
later and you feel really confident to stop then because
there is no hard stop time of when you're allowed
to eat and when you're not and to It's kind
of tie in the working out thing. I think sometimes
when we restrict and then we end up eating way
more and we don't feel good, then it's a cycle.
It all feeds off of each other pun intended. I
(18:05):
feel like if I had those moments where maybe I
would have been fine without not working out that day,
but the minute I went over that threshold and felt
gross and full and whatever, then it was like, all right,
now I gotta work out. I mean, I just ruined
that because I need to burn all of this because
this feeling doesn't feel good. So I feel like if
I work out, that will help me feel better. And
(18:25):
it's just this weird cycle, and you're you're creating a
negative relationship to exercise that way, because you're using it
solely as a tool to counteract what you quote unquote
did when the two are separate and can both be
good for you, But now we've made both of them
negative experiences exactly, why don't you share one more thing
(18:47):
that you now know better. The last one I'm going
to share today is thinking that bloating was bad and
that eating a salad would get rid of it. So
these are kind of two different points I want to
get into. But the first one is that bloating is
normal to some degree. Now, what you're experiencing is it
bloating or is its stomach distension After you eat a meal.
(19:08):
Your stomach is only about the size of a fist,
So I hold your fist up amy like that's like
less than a sandwich, right, So one sandwich in your
stomach and there's going to be some distension. There's a
digestive period that needs to happen. And so when for me,
when I was in this disordered state, I was body
checking all the time. So any time I passed a mirror,
(19:29):
I was lifting up my shirt to see what my
abs or my stomach looked like, or this and that.
And I was so hyper focused that I noticed really
subtle changes such as normal stomach distension and called it bloating.
Now bloating if it is uncomfortable, if it is constant,
if it is giving you pain, that is a different story,
and you should consult with your doctor to make sure
(19:51):
there are no g I things. However, I think in
our society we are really obsessed with our own bodies
to the point where we are over checking them and
finding things that are totally normal and labeling them as
something that's not, such as bloating, and then looking for
a solution. So why I said the salad portion was
because back then I would only eat salad. I wouldn't
(20:13):
eat carbohydrates and things like that, and I didn't understand
why some of my friends who ate whatever they wanted
didn't have the stomach distension that I was experiencing after
a meal. And you have to consider the fact that
a lot of healthy foods like salad, high fiber stuff
takes longer to digest and therefore is going to cause
(20:35):
possibly more stomach distension or possibly minor bloating. That doesn't
mean that it's a bad thing at all. We just
need to, really, I think, remove ourselves from this idea
that if our bodies change after a meal or a
couple hours after a meal, doesn't mean that we've done
something wrong. And instead of reaching for the food that
you think should fix it because it's healthy, ask yourself
what would satisfy me in this moment. I love that
(20:58):
it makes me think of one of the things that
I'm going to share next week when I go with
most of things that I now no better along the
lines of body checking and just you know, weighing yourself
and the roller coaster ride that that can take you on.
So yeah, I'll be unpacking some of that next Saturday. Lisa,
I think this is a good idea. Hopefully it will
(21:19):
be helpful for y'all. Don't forget if you have any
thoughts or your personal journey you would like to share
with us. We're still going to continue, especially into sharing
personal stories from you, so we would love to get
them from you, and you can email us hello at
Outweigh podcast dot com. I hope this was helpful, and
(21:40):
I hope the next time you fall into one of
these traps you're able to zoom out and see why
it might be time to do things a little bit differently.
All right, You'll have a good day by
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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