October 22, 2022 • 19 mins
OUTWEIGH: Kayla Carson (RDN, cPTs, & director at Odyssey Eating Disorder Network) is our expert guest for 3 weeks with Amy. In this episode (3 of 3) they talk about "fitness" having a specific "look," societal common language around food, fitness & body image, and managing body comments & judgement.
KAYLA'S BIO:
Kayla Carson has extensive expertise in the eating disorder and substance use disorder field. As a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN), she has worked directly with clients in treatment centers struggling with eating disorders and co-occurring disorders for nearly a decade. She is also a certified body movement specialist and a public speaker. Kayla received her bachelor’s degree in Nutrition & Dietetics with a minor in Movement Instruction from Indiana University and completed her Dietetic Internship at Loyola University Chicago. She has a passion for helping individuals find food freedom and mindful movement by breaking the chains of physique training and diet culture. Kayla enjoys connecting with other clinicians in the field and strives to be the first call to connect clients to quality higher levels of care when in need.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body outly outwit everything that I'm
made dope, won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel
(00:24):
it with your hands in there, She'll love to the
boom by the Let's say good day and time did
you and die out? Happy Saturday. Outweigh fam At Kayla
Carson is back registered dietitian nutritionist and she is actively
working with clients. What is the name of your treatment center? Again?
(00:45):
I worked for the Odyssey Eating Disorder Networks, So we
have five residential treatment centers for eating disorders in a local,
local outpatient treatment center here in Nashville. Awesome. So you
have worked with a lot of people over the years,
like a lot, and you know, I'm sure you have
seen so many amazing recovery stories. And I just remember
(01:10):
when I was starting out, everything seems so daunting and
I never had to go to a treatment or recovery center,
but I had to do my own work. And I
my friend Lisa that I actually started outweigh with, she
was She's a registered dietitian and she was my co
host for a while, but she had to step away,
and so that's why I bring in experts like Kayla
(01:32):
to join me, because I'm i am not an expert.
I am someone in recovery. You know, I've been there,
and I'm just trying to be a resource of comfort
that you're not alone and hope that healing can happen.
Because I was. I never thought. I just thought, this
is how I'm going to live my life. This is
What's going to take up space in my brain. And
it was exhausting and I wasn't able to fully live
(01:53):
and it just came a point where enough was enough.
And I don't know. If I hadn't gotten help, I
eventually I would have ended up in some sort of
a treatment center or something to have that full blown support.
But Lisa has a program called Fork the Noise, and
I signed up for that and it was a commitment
on my end too. You know. I would sit down
(02:14):
and I would watch the videos and I would do
print out the worksheets, I would do the homework and
so it was my own little recovery system. And then
I was diving into books and there's a book called
brainover Binge. Are you familiar? And that one worked for me.
It may not be for everybody, but that also came
with a study guide and this extra program you could
(02:36):
buy where you got these audio study guide situations where
she would talk you through stuff. And I mean I
was just grasping at anything and everything. I wanted all
the resources, and it took that dedication to finally get
me there. So thank you for the work that you do, Kayla,
to offer people the support that they desperately need, because
(02:57):
society does not make it easy on us at all.
And so that's kind of what I want to talk
about first today is societal common language around food and
fitness and body image. We get into that a lot here,
but I think it's important to just remind people that
the messages we're getting from society it's not accurate. We're
(03:19):
gaining traction in the right direction, but we're not there yet. Yes, definitely,
I feel like we've we have come a long way.
Just for eating disorders to be a part of the
conversation in Hollywood has come up just in the last
you know, a couple of years, and even you know,
people like Taylor Swift coming forward and saying this has
been a challenge for me is a huge deal because
(03:42):
I remember, like ten years ago, it seemed like no
one ever talked about their eating disorder. People talked a
lot about their substance use disorder or other mental health
concerns depression, anxiety, suicidality, but never eating disorders and so on.
The opposite of the coin. At that time, eating disorders
(04:02):
were the most common cause of death out of any
other mental health concern so it was like killing the
most people, but it wasn't they talked about. So you're right,
it's gained a lot of traction, and it's still hard,
especially in this like photo Instagram, you know culture that
we're now in that really wasn't quite as profound when
(04:24):
I first entered the industry. It's just like built over time.
Well there's pressures from those photos. It's not just it's
not like be real. Are you on? Really learned about
be real a couple of weeks ago, so I'm not
on it yet, But okay, well that is you know,
no filters. You get a notification, you take the picture,
and it's just you where you are, and it literally
(04:45):
takes a picture of what you're looking at and then
you at the same time, within seconds of each other,
and so you're so focused on taking the picture of
what's in front of you, and then all of a sudden,
out of nowhere, unless you're really good at it, it
just snapped your picture real quick. You have to be repaired,
and some of the pictures you get of yourself are hilarious.
But then at the same time, the name of the
(05:05):
app is be Real, so you're like, Okay, I'm just
gonna send this. You do have the opportunity to redo
it if you want, but you only have like I think,
two minutes to get the picture if you want to
get it right. But I love that they're at least
have an app that's moving in that direction of trying
to embrace just being real and not trying to filter
(05:25):
a photo or do whatever. But it it has made
it hard on our body image. We talk about that
a lot, and just the pressures of thinking someone looks
one way, but then you have to remind yourself, Okay,
they're are using a filter right now. It says so
in the top left corner you can see when they're
using a filter, because the filter will be named and
filters are fun. I think sometimes that's okay if you
(05:46):
want to use a filter because you're just having one
of those days. But if it's like every single time,
and I got to where I was doing that, and
then sometimes i go look in the mirra kayla and
I'd be like, wait, why do I look well? Wrong
with me? Why do I look different? I'm like, oh dah,
I don't have my my filter are on? What are
the some of the common things. I mean, we know
that's like the social media world, but what are some
of the common language around food and fitness that can
(06:09):
actually get tricky because they can seem so normal that
they're not red flags. But what do we need to
be looking out for? Especially were the beginning of our
journey and we're trying to figure it out. Yeah, I
mean like binary thinking with food and activity. So I'm good,
I'm going to be good and have this, or I'm
going to be bad and have this. So um. You
(06:32):
might be having lunch with a friend and they'll say like,
I'm gonna be bad and have a burger, and it's like, look,
there's no morality with food choices. Does burgers sound good today?
Or does the salad sound good today? Either of those foods,
like all foods. Fit means that there's neutrality with food choices,
especially if you're honoring what it is that your body
wants at that time, or you know, I'm going to
(06:55):
be good and go to the gym, and it's like,
if you didn't go to the gym, does that make
you a bad person? Like no, And so the goods
and bads definitely when it comes to food choices and activity. Also,
choosing activities or exercise based off of how you think
it might change your body. So like going to an
(07:16):
exercise class that you really hate because you think it's
going to make your but look better is so common
I feel like in in society. So exercising our bodies
to the point of, you know, major exertion to where
it really doesn't feel good because we think that it
is going to, you know, make our arms look better
(07:36):
or well. I can give an example of something I
used to do when I was eating disort of ruled
me and it was spin class all the time. And
there's nothing wrong with spin class. I have friends. Our
mutual friend kat to thought as she loves spin. She's
a spin instructor. I am a horrible friend because she
often wants me to come to her class and I
don't want to go because I tell her I don't
(07:58):
like spin. But what's crazy is I used to take
spin six days a week because I thought that's what
I needed to be doing, because that was very trendy
at this one gym that I was at. It got
me into doing a triathlon. I bought a bike. I
didn't want to bike. I don't I didn't want to
train for a triathlon, but I thought, oh, can you
(08:20):
imagine my body once I get done training? Well, no,
it did. My body did nothing but got bigger because
I ate more because I needed the calories. And then
it was a mess because I definitely tried to choose
specific workouts to alter my body, and I was never
happy with it. It was like I was always chasing.
(08:40):
And then now I do get to listen to my
body and honor what truly does feel good for my
body to move today. If I do move today, and
thankfully I'm fortunate enough and have gratitude that I can
move my body, but it doesn't mean I have to
do something rigorous every day. Yeah, and I don't know
if you've noticed this, but it's like exercise trends are
(09:02):
based around body trends, and bodies do have trends, and
so like back in the eighties and nineties, it was
that very like twiggy stick figure, very very thin sort
of body type, and it's evolved a little bit more
to an athletic build or like a Kim Kardashian type,
(09:23):
you know build. And so I'm noticing women doing a
lot more squats and things to change you know, their
their bottom half. But if anybody is trying to get Kim's,
but it's not going to happen, because it's like point
two percent sure that there's some sort of enhancement happening
there in like the whole Kardashian family. So that's I mean,
(09:46):
even their bodies like you look at it, and they've
completely altered and changed over the years. So it is
interesting how one family in a way talk about the
ultimate influencer and alter everybody's desired look for a body,
and not everybody's, but you know what I mean, Yeah,
you know, I've had friends who have quit a certain
workout because they didn't like the way their body was looking,
(10:08):
even though they loved the workout and they loved the
people there. So it is really interesting how our body
image can govern just how we decided to move our bodies.
And there's a really great name out there that says, like,
if you knew that the type of exercise you did
would not change your body whatsoever, would you still do it?
It's like, well, I don't know. Yeah, no, that's a
(10:30):
good question to ask yourself for sure, which leads me
to my next question about fitness and what is all
use air quotes fitness? And does it have a quotes look?
What is all use air quotes fitness? And does it
(10:51):
have a quotes look? Society would say it has a
look when you really like boil it down to science,
fitness is basically your body's ability to utilize oxygen oxygen
during exertion. So it's a it's a scientific word, and
it's based it's measured by VO to max and so
we get really down to it, that's what it is.
(11:11):
And I think society and of course like the Instagram
culture that we're in, it definitely put the look on it.
So like someone is fit if they have a low
body fat percentage, or they have a lot of musculature,
or they're just really thin or whatever. It is. But
now we have people like you know, Lizzo who's coming
out and she's like, I do full concerts singing that
(11:34):
is like ultimate cardio. I am actually quite fit and
my body doesn't look like this quote unquote like picture
of fitness. And so I challenge people sometimes to go
watch half marathon and like see how many different body
types are running the same distance, and it's like, you
can't tell me that this person who you know is
(11:56):
maybe living in a larger body or is not the
smallest size on the rat like is not fit. You know,
fitness people can be extremely high level. I have an
extremely high level of fitness, but not quite have the
fit look, which is like lots of muscles and thin
and you know, whatever it is depending on your gender too.
(12:16):
I think male fitness the picture of it looks different
than like the female picture of fitness too, right, because
it's what society has trained our brain to think that
that that's what a fit body looks like. Yeah, and
it's just not the case. All right, Well, let's pivot
to managing body comments and judgment, because I'm sure for
(12:38):
some people that are quote unquote fit but may not
fit into what society says they should look like I
can't imagine the comments some people get from people that
are ignorant and maybe just not thinking and rude. And
what is your advice for people to manage that? You
really just kind of have to have a strong, separate
(13:00):
shan um, And like, I think it boils back down
to codependency sometimes, like my attitudes and beliefs don't have
to be in response to what this person said, So
there is part of that, but even the strongest that
people can get sort of like knocked down. And we've
talked a couple of sisodes ago about like allowing our
(13:21):
thoughts to lose power by by vocalizing them. So I think,
you know, if you have an experience like that, talking
it through with a friend or you know, talking it
through with whoever has trusted journaling about it is a
really good good thing to do. But yeah, you have
to say, like, at least something I say to myself is,
you know, I'm capable of a lot of really amazing
(13:44):
things physically, running, jumping, squatting, all of the things, and
my body maybe doesn't look like the fitness model and
actually genetically my body could never look like that. It's
just not possible, and I think we forget that somebodies
just are not capable to be healthy and look like
(14:04):
a fitness model, which makes me also think of the
conversation a couple of weeks ago about being unwell and
a smaller body and well in the larger body. Yeah,
And you know it's hard is when you're maybe in
a group setting and one person's body is being highly
praised in that setting and you know that they're sick.
(14:25):
Like that's something that I beat up against a lot
where I'm like, there's a lot of body comments happening
right now, and you're commenting on this person's body who's
extremely ill, and I know that they're ill, but they
don't well, and you may not know. Okay, the illness
could be in eating disorder, it may be some other
disorder you have no idea or disease that is going
(14:47):
on with them. There could be depression that there could force, yes,
all different kinds of life circumstances, grief, yes, And I've
gone through difficult things while it actively in a needing disorder.
And the comments I got refueled to that fire and
I was like, oh, well, this is interesting, Okay, better
(15:08):
keep going with this, but you know, in recovery, I've
also gone through some hard stuff and thankfully, you know,
people if we preach about it so much to stop
commenting on people's bodies that I haven't received certain comments,
but I know if I did, I would I mentally
would be in a better place. And I have the
tools and the resources, and I think a lot in
(15:30):
the same vein of that. I just want to close
with a reminder too, of any time you're seeing some
of these celebrities or in a magazine or on Instagram
posting what they eat in a day or what their
leg workout is their fitness routine, just because you go
do it doesn't mean you're going to look like them
(15:53):
at all. And I think that's something we have to
remind ourselves because I remember buying magazines and being like, oh,
I'm going to get the secret workout for Carrie Underwood's
legs or whatever the case may be, and then the
fact is I'm just never ever going to have her legs,
and that's I'm not built that way. That's okay, Yeah,
I'm not Carrie Underwood. I don't have a voice either,
(16:13):
right right, Oh gosh, we could all sting like her right.
And one of the things too that I noticed and
as my body was changing, is that it was really
hard for me to find people on Instagram who had
a similar body to me. So the hashtag is basically
like a mid size and if you notice as well,
like and I can think I can relate it to
(16:34):
my own story. Like when I was in a different body,
I would take a lot more photos and want to
post the photos, and I'm like working on doing the
same in a different body, and so like what you're
going to see on Instagram is a lot of people
who probably want to showcase their bodies because they're looking
(16:54):
for that validation. And so it's harder to find people
on degram that look more like you, that are more
relatable in that way, especially in the midsized category, because
I think with with a lot of the body positivity movement,
we're seeing more highly followed people who are in a
larger body or than you have the other side of
(17:16):
the spectrum and a very smaller body. So it was
hard for me to find I had to like intentionally
look for influencers that had a body that was more
similar to mine. So if I wanted like the cute shirt.
Then I got the cute shirt and it would look
somewhat the same. I wasn't like getting the shirt and
like disappointed, like, oh man looked a lot better on
this person. So I don't mean to be tangential, but
(17:39):
I think just again, like the societal standards of what
we should look like, it doesn't represent reality. If you
walk around the mall, you're gonna notice that almost no
one looks like the people on Instagram. You know. Yeah, no,
that's that's a good reminder. And then just remembering overall
fitness or health does not of a look here. You
(18:02):
can be extremely fit and strong and not look like
what is the societal standards of like a fit person.
I think one of the Olympians, they won the gold
medal medal for weightlifting, and you're like, that person is
a powerhouse and oh look I can't see a single muscle.
Yeah that's a good example. So stop looking to others
(18:25):
for any kind of validation. Just do your best to
take care of you and the body that you have
been given because it is one of a kind. Yeah, absolutely,
it's that's that's the sure way. It's the way to heal.
And Kayla I appreciate you joining us for the last
three weeks and then dedicating your life to helping others.
(18:48):
Were just so so thankful to people like you because
we all need you in this world. Thank you
I won't let my body outly outwit everything that I'm
made dope, won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel
(00:24):
it with your hands in there, She'll love to the
boom by the Let's say good day and time did
you and die out? Happy Saturday. Outweigh fam At Kayla
Carson is back registered dietitian nutritionist and she is actively
working with clients. What is the name of your treatment center? Again?
(00:45):
I worked for the Odyssey Eating Disorder Networks, So we
have five residential treatment centers for eating disorders in a local,
local outpatient treatment center here in Nashville. Awesome. So you
have worked with a lot of people over the years,
like a lot, and you know, I'm sure you have
seen so many amazing recovery stories. And I just remember
(01:10):
when I was starting out, everything seems so daunting and
I never had to go to a treatment or recovery center,
but I had to do my own work. And I
my friend Lisa that I actually started outweigh with, she
was She's a registered dietitian and she was my co
host for a while, but she had to step away,
and so that's why I bring in experts like Kayla
(01:32):
to join me, because I'm i am not an expert.
I am someone in recovery. You know, I've been there,
and I'm just trying to be a resource of comfort
that you're not alone and hope that healing can happen.
Because I was. I never thought. I just thought, this
is how I'm going to live my life. This is
What's going to take up space in my brain. And
it was exhausting and I wasn't able to fully live
(01:53):
and it just came a point where enough was enough.
And I don't know. If I hadn't gotten help, I
eventually I would have ended up in some sort of
a treatment center or something to have that full blown support.
But Lisa has a program called Fork the Noise, and
I signed up for that and it was a commitment
on my end too. You know. I would sit down
(02:14):
and I would watch the videos and I would do
print out the worksheets, I would do the homework and
so it was my own little recovery system. And then
I was diving into books and there's a book called
brainover Binge. Are you familiar? And that one worked for me.
It may not be for everybody, but that also came
with a study guide and this extra program you could
(02:36):
buy where you got these audio study guide situations where
she would talk you through stuff. And I mean I
was just grasping at anything and everything. I wanted all
the resources, and it took that dedication to finally get
me there. So thank you for the work that you do, Kayla,
to offer people the support that they desperately need, because
(02:57):
society does not make it easy on us at all.
And so that's kind of what I want to talk
about first today is societal common language around food and
fitness and body image. We get into that a lot here,
but I think it's important to just remind people that
the messages we're getting from society it's not accurate. We're
(03:19):
gaining traction in the right direction, but we're not there yet. Yes, definitely,
I feel like we've we have come a long way.
Just for eating disorders to be a part of the
conversation in Hollywood has come up just in the last
you know, a couple of years, and even you know,
people like Taylor Swift coming forward and saying this has
been a challenge for me is a huge deal because
(03:42):
I remember, like ten years ago, it seemed like no
one ever talked about their eating disorder. People talked a
lot about their substance use disorder or other mental health
concerns depression, anxiety, suicidality, but never eating disorders and so on.
The opposite of the coin. At that time, eating disorders
(04:02):
were the most common cause of death out of any
other mental health concern so it was like killing the
most people, but it wasn't they talked about. So you're right,
it's gained a lot of traction, and it's still hard,
especially in this like photo Instagram, you know culture that
we're now in that really wasn't quite as profound when
(04:24):
I first entered the industry. It's just like built over time.
Well there's pressures from those photos. It's not just it's
not like be real. Are you on? Really learned about
be real a couple of weeks ago, so I'm not
on it yet, But okay, well that is you know,
no filters. You get a notification, you take the picture,
and it's just you where you are, and it literally
(04:45):
takes a picture of what you're looking at and then
you at the same time, within seconds of each other,
and so you're so focused on taking the picture of
what's in front of you, and then all of a sudden,
out of nowhere, unless you're really good at it, it
just snapped your picture real quick. You have to be repaired,
and some of the pictures you get of yourself are hilarious.
But then at the same time, the name of the
(05:05):
app is be Real, so you're like, Okay, I'm just
gonna send this. You do have the opportunity to redo
it if you want, but you only have like I think,
two minutes to get the picture if you want to
get it right. But I love that they're at least
have an app that's moving in that direction of trying
to embrace just being real and not trying to filter
(05:25):
a photo or do whatever. But it it has made
it hard on our body image. We talk about that
a lot, and just the pressures of thinking someone looks
one way, but then you have to remind yourself, Okay,
they're are using a filter right now. It says so
in the top left corner you can see when they're
using a filter, because the filter will be named and
filters are fun. I think sometimes that's okay if you
(05:46):
want to use a filter because you're just having one
of those days. But if it's like every single time,
and I got to where I was doing that, and
then sometimes i go look in the mirra kayla and
I'd be like, wait, why do I look well? Wrong
with me? Why do I look different? I'm like, oh dah,
I don't have my my filter are on? What are
the some of the common things. I mean, we know
that's like the social media world, but what are some
of the common language around food and fitness that can
(06:09):
actually get tricky because they can seem so normal that
they're not red flags. But what do we need to
be looking out for? Especially were the beginning of our
journey and we're trying to figure it out. Yeah, I
mean like binary thinking with food and activity. So I'm good,
I'm going to be good and have this, or I'm
going to be bad and have this. So um. You
(06:32):
might be having lunch with a friend and they'll say like,
I'm gonna be bad and have a burger, and it's like, look,
there's no morality with food choices. Does burgers sound good today?
Or does the salad sound good today? Either of those foods,
like all foods. Fit means that there's neutrality with food choices,
especially if you're honoring what it is that your body
wants at that time, or you know, I'm going to
(06:55):
be good and go to the gym, and it's like,
if you didn't go to the gym, does that make
you a bad person? Like no, And so the goods
and bads definitely when it comes to food choices and activity. Also,
choosing activities or exercise based off of how you think
it might change your body. So like going to an
(07:16):
exercise class that you really hate because you think it's
going to make your but look better is so common
I feel like in in society. So exercising our bodies
to the point of, you know, major exertion to where
it really doesn't feel good because we think that it
is going to, you know, make our arms look better
(07:36):
or well. I can give an example of something I
used to do when I was eating disort of ruled
me and it was spin class all the time. And
there's nothing wrong with spin class. I have friends. Our
mutual friend kat to thought as she loves spin. She's
a spin instructor. I am a horrible friend because she
often wants me to come to her class and I
don't want to go because I tell her I don't
(07:58):
like spin. But what's crazy is I used to take
spin six days a week because I thought that's what
I needed to be doing, because that was very trendy
at this one gym that I was at. It got
me into doing a triathlon. I bought a bike. I
didn't want to bike. I don't I didn't want to
train for a triathlon, but I thought, oh, can you
(08:20):
imagine my body once I get done training? Well, no,
it did. My body did nothing but got bigger because
I ate more because I needed the calories. And then
it was a mess because I definitely tried to choose
specific workouts to alter my body, and I was never
happy with it. It was like I was always chasing.
(08:40):
And then now I do get to listen to my
body and honor what truly does feel good for my
body to move today. If I do move today, and
thankfully I'm fortunate enough and have gratitude that I can
move my body, but it doesn't mean I have to
do something rigorous every day. Yeah, and I don't know
if you've noticed this, but it's like exercise trends are
(09:02):
based around body trends, and bodies do have trends, and
so like back in the eighties and nineties, it was
that very like twiggy stick figure, very very thin sort
of body type, and it's evolved a little bit more
to an athletic build or like a Kim Kardashian type,
(09:23):
you know build. And so I'm noticing women doing a
lot more squats and things to change you know, their
their bottom half. But if anybody is trying to get Kim's,
but it's not going to happen, because it's like point
two percent sure that there's some sort of enhancement happening
there in like the whole Kardashian family. So that's I mean,
(09:46):
even their bodies like you look at it, and they've
completely altered and changed over the years. So it is
interesting how one family in a way talk about the
ultimate influencer and alter everybody's desired look for a body,
and not everybody's, but you know what I mean, Yeah,
you know, I've had friends who have quit a certain
workout because they didn't like the way their body was looking,
(10:08):
even though they loved the workout and they loved the
people there. So it is really interesting how our body
image can govern just how we decided to move our bodies.
And there's a really great name out there that says, like,
if you knew that the type of exercise you did
would not change your body whatsoever, would you still do it?
It's like, well, I don't know. Yeah, no, that's a
(10:30):
good question to ask yourself for sure, which leads me
to my next question about fitness and what is all
use air quotes fitness? And does it have a quotes look?
What is all use air quotes fitness? And does it
(10:51):
have a quotes look? Society would say it has a
look when you really like boil it down to science,
fitness is basically your body's ability to utilize oxygen oxygen
during exertion. So it's a it's a scientific word, and
it's based it's measured by VO to max and so
we get really down to it, that's what it is.
(11:11):
And I think society and of course like the Instagram
culture that we're in, it definitely put the look on it.
So like someone is fit if they have a low
body fat percentage, or they have a lot of musculature,
or they're just really thin or whatever. It is. But
now we have people like you know, Lizzo who's coming
out and she's like, I do full concerts singing that
(11:34):
is like ultimate cardio. I am actually quite fit and
my body doesn't look like this quote unquote like picture
of fitness. And so I challenge people sometimes to go
watch half marathon and like see how many different body
types are running the same distance, and it's like, you
can't tell me that this person who you know is
(11:56):
maybe living in a larger body or is not the
smallest size on the rat like is not fit. You know,
fitness people can be extremely high level. I have an
extremely high level of fitness, but not quite have the
fit look, which is like lots of muscles and thin
and you know, whatever it is depending on your gender too.
(12:16):
I think male fitness the picture of it looks different
than like the female picture of fitness too, right, because
it's what society has trained our brain to think that
that that's what a fit body looks like. Yeah, and
it's just not the case. All right, Well, let's pivot
to managing body comments and judgment, because I'm sure for
(12:38):
some people that are quote unquote fit but may not
fit into what society says they should look like I
can't imagine the comments some people get from people that
are ignorant and maybe just not thinking and rude. And
what is your advice for people to manage that? You
really just kind of have to have a strong, separate
(13:00):
shan um, And like, I think it boils back down
to codependency sometimes, like my attitudes and beliefs don't have
to be in response to what this person said, So
there is part of that, but even the strongest that
people can get sort of like knocked down. And we've
talked a couple of sisodes ago about like allowing our
(13:21):
thoughts to lose power by by vocalizing them. So I think,
you know, if you have an experience like that, talking
it through with a friend or you know, talking it
through with whoever has trusted journaling about it is a
really good good thing to do. But yeah, you have
to say, like, at least something I say to myself is,
you know, I'm capable of a lot of really amazing
(13:44):
things physically, running, jumping, squatting, all of the things, and
my body maybe doesn't look like the fitness model and
actually genetically my body could never look like that. It's
just not possible, and I think we forget that somebodies
just are not capable to be healthy and look like
(14:04):
a fitness model, which makes me also think of the
conversation a couple of weeks ago about being unwell and
a smaller body and well in the larger body. Yeah,
And you know it's hard is when you're maybe in
a group setting and one person's body is being highly
praised in that setting and you know that they're sick.
(14:25):
Like that's something that I beat up against a lot
where I'm like, there's a lot of body comments happening
right now, and you're commenting on this person's body who's
extremely ill, and I know that they're ill, but they
don't well, and you may not know. Okay, the illness
could be in eating disorder, it may be some other
disorder you have no idea or disease that is going
(14:47):
on with them. There could be depression that there could force, yes,
all different kinds of life circumstances, grief, yes, And I've
gone through difficult things while it actively in a needing disorder.
And the comments I got refueled to that fire and
I was like, oh, well, this is interesting, Okay, better
(15:08):
keep going with this, but you know, in recovery, I've
also gone through some hard stuff and thankfully, you know,
people if we preach about it so much to stop
commenting on people's bodies that I haven't received certain comments,
but I know if I did, I would I mentally
would be in a better place. And I have the
tools and the resources, and I think a lot in
(15:30):
the same vein of that. I just want to close
with a reminder too, of any time you're seeing some
of these celebrities or in a magazine or on Instagram
posting what they eat in a day or what their
leg workout is their fitness routine, just because you go
do it doesn't mean you're going to look like them
(15:53):
at all. And I think that's something we have to
remind ourselves because I remember buying magazines and being like, oh,
I'm going to get the secret workout for Carrie Underwood's
legs or whatever the case may be, and then the
fact is I'm just never ever going to have her legs,
and that's I'm not built that way. That's okay, Yeah,
I'm not Carrie Underwood. I don't have a voice either,
(16:13):
right right, Oh gosh, we could all sting like her right.
And one of the things too that I noticed and
as my body was changing, is that it was really
hard for me to find people on Instagram who had
a similar body to me. So the hashtag is basically
like a mid size and if you notice as well,
like and I can think I can relate it to
(16:34):
my own story. Like when I was in a different body,
I would take a lot more photos and want to
post the photos, and I'm like working on doing the
same in a different body, and so like what you're
going to see on Instagram is a lot of people
who probably want to showcase their bodies because they're looking
(16:54):
for that validation. And so it's harder to find people
on degram that look more like you, that are more
relatable in that way, especially in the midsized category, because
I think with with a lot of the body positivity movement,
we're seeing more highly followed people who are in a
larger body or than you have the other side of
(17:16):
the spectrum and a very smaller body. So it was
hard for me to find I had to like intentionally
look for influencers that had a body that was more
similar to mine. So if I wanted like the cute shirt.
Then I got the cute shirt and it would look
somewhat the same. I wasn't like getting the shirt and
like disappointed, like, oh man looked a lot better on
this person. So I don't mean to be tangential, but
(17:39):
I think just again, like the societal standards of what
we should look like, it doesn't represent reality. If you
walk around the mall, you're gonna notice that almost no
one looks like the people on Instagram. You know. Yeah, no,
that's that's a good reminder. And then just remembering overall
fitness or health does not of a look here. You
(18:02):
can be extremely fit and strong and not look like
what is the societal standards of like a fit person.
I think one of the Olympians, they won the gold
medal medal for weightlifting, and you're like, that person is
a powerhouse and oh look I can't see a single muscle.
Yeah that's a good example. So stop looking to others
(18:25):
for any kind of validation. Just do your best to
take care of you and the body that you have
been given because it is one of a kind. Yeah, absolutely,
it's that's that's the sure way. It's the way to heal.
And Kayla I appreciate you joining us for the last
three weeks and then dedicating your life to helping others.
(18:48):
Were just so so thankful to people like you because
we all need you in this world. Thank you
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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