On this episode of "What's God Got To Do With It?" with Leanne Ellington, we are back with Rachel Joy Baribeau, an award-winning storyteller, inspirational speaker, and transformative coach for Part 2 of this captivating interview.
In Part 1, we explored how God saved her. Now she shares how God redeemed her story, and set her up to pour into the lives of those that need her most. He saved her, and now he's using her...in the most extraordinary ways.
If you've ever wondered how to turn YOUR mess into your message, buckle up as Rachel Joy shares this full-circle story of how #ImChangingtheNarrative was born, and how she passionately helps others discover their purpose and freedom. Her remarkable story is encapsulated in her book, "Relentless Joy," offering a beacon of hope to those navigating their own path to joy and fulfillment.
This interview will make you laugh, cry, and want to jump up for joy at the kinds of miracles God performs when you surrender your past (and your future) over to him.
GUEST: @rachelbaribeau
https://www.rachelbaribeau.com/
Book: Relentless Joy: Finding Freedom, Passion, and Happiness (Even When You Have to Fight for It)
HOST: @LeanneEllington
To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm here to preach gonn to keep the clean and
talk to me and recall where faith needs stops nature,
get in touch with your creator with a bacon.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Love and joke.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
She even speaks Hebrew. What's that?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What's that? Well said? Talking transformation? What's stop down?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Hey, we are back for What's the guy got to
do with It?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
And this is our second episode with Rachel Joy and she.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Truly is a Joy. So I'm so glad to have
you back last week. If you missed it, definitely go
back and check it out.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
It will give a lot of context to what we're
talking about today because all of who Rachel is today
and how she's showing up and who she is serving
is really a product of everything that she's gone through.
And she really is this vessel and an instrument and
an extension of God's hands and part of the army
of goodness to really spread the love.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
So if you miss that, definitely go back and check
it out.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
But I'd love for you to share.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
You know, last week we learned how God saved you
from a life of destruction and toxicity and drugs and
disorder and all the things, and now he is just straight.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Up using you and it's so good.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It's so good.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
So share with us what was that transition, Like, what
was the wake up call? Obviously, like you were in
the sports world, you were you were a recovering dramatic right,
and then you had your own personal life all the little,
you know, intricacies that happens that weaves into everything that
we do. But obviously there was some pivotal moment where
you decided to you know, come out of the sports
(01:52):
world and really transition into what you're doing now. So
I'd love for you to share with our audience like
what was that, Like, what were the you know? And
one of the things I love about you and your
relationship with God is like you have this listening.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Ear, like you're hearing him.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
And I think that's really unique because I know for me,
as I'm navigating my spiritual life figuring out how I
hear God, whether it's in words, pictures, dreams, whatever, we
all have our different ways, but I think I know
every person I've ever talked to is like, yeah, I
you know, want to hear more from God too, So
I love that you are sharing that as you go too,
So feel free to share.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
What you've been hearing too, because we want to be
a party to that.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
But take us on that journey. What was it like
when you got the call?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You know?
Speaker 5 (02:31):
And I know for a lot of us, we get
the call and then we take the call, right, So
just bring us into that little part of your world.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yes, So I was sportscasting. I was doing all sorts
of amazing things in the world, and I was at
the top of my gang. And flashback to the summer
twenty sixteen. It was a very dark summer in college football,
and I was a college football reporter, primarily on College
Sports Nation six Sam first female host, and I remember
(02:59):
working with men I work twice as hard to be
respected half as much. So I'd be, you know, prepping
two hours beforehand. Anybody that knew me knew how hard
I worked. I was an over prepare. I always said,
you know, I'm I play well in the sandbox with people.
You know, I'm a people person. I'm a good team player,
and in anything, your reputation precedes you, and so it
absolutely does. And so that summer we were on the
(03:21):
heels of the Penn State scandal. We were in the
thick of the Baalor's scandal. There was sexual violence, domestic violence,
there are coaches getting in trouble left and right. And
God puts something in my heart and he was like,
you can help. And I was like, what do you
mean I can help? And so I say that I
wrote a curriculum. I want to tell people don't be
ashamed of small beginnings. The curriculum was a two page
(03:43):
Google doctor kay yea. I don't if it was a
napkin right like it was the beginning. And I thought
I would go into high schools. But my friend doctor
Kevin Elko, who is Nick Saban's right hand man, which
telling my dream. He calls him vouches for me to
Jimbo Fisher at FSU at the time in twenty sixteen.
(04:03):
And I remember my mom, my, stepdad and I weren
Jackson Hole together and we got the call. It was
like our favorite place, you know, And we got the
call and he said, Jimbo Fisher wants you August twenty sixth,
twenty sixteen, and we held hands and jump dump it
down and screamed. And little did I know what God
would do. I thought I'd always be a sportscaster and
that'd do these talks on the side. But here I
(04:25):
am seven years later, almost eight now seven and a
half years later, and we've now worked with over eighty
high schools and colleges. I work with K through five,
I work with prison ministry, I work with halfway houses, corporations, churches.
There's not a place I won't go. And we talk
about joy, interpersonal relationships, mental health, purpose beyond your job
(04:47):
or athletics. And it got so big that I tried
sportscasting and you know, and doing this too at the
same time. And I couldn't do it. And God was
speaking to me again about retiring, and he used a
couple of doors slammed in my face in twenty nineteen
and situations, and I finally walked away and retired October
(05:09):
twenty seventh, twenty nineteen. And then I thought twenty twenty
was my year, as many people did. It really was
my year. It was in a weird way. I lost
all my speaking engagements, all my income. I would end
up losing my house and I lost my mom the
year before, and I almost quit. I was locked down
by myself at home, my husband was in My soon
(05:31):
to be husband was in Florida, and I was so mad.
I said, God, you told me to quit sports guests
and you told me to do this. What are you
doing to me? I said in my book, if I
was Lot's wife, I would have been a pillar assault,
you know, like I looked back so many times, and
God said, do people need you? Yes? God? Do people
need you now? And moreever? Yes?
Speaker 5 (05:48):
God?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Do you have ways to meet them? Yes? God? Did
I call you this? Yes? God? So I got up.
I threw those day and covers back and got up
with like this holy ghost fire. And I started calling
every school that I could. I gave away my services
for free. I gave away talks. I studied myself. I
studied psychology, I studied everything I could. I had fires
(06:09):
in my backyard by myself. I mean, I went into
like a complete study. And when we were able to
travel again, the movement was even bigger than when we
went into the pandemic. And it's just been amazing.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
It's God real talk to us about changing the narrative,
because you know, as a self image scientist, I am
obsessed with the power of what happens when we completely
change the narrative, and it's it's so relevant to so
many different topics and subjects and areas of our life.
But obviously it's got a special meaning and you know
definition in your eyes. So talk to us about your
(06:41):
changing the narrative.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
So you asked me though, and I have to say
this about how God speaks to me. Yea, God speaks
to me through signs. It's usually in threes. It might
be a sign, it might be music, it might be people,
it might be scripture. And I have seen the Scripture
three times in the last week in different ways. I
drove by it yesterday would Mont Baptist Church, who I'm
doing a new thing. I will make a way in
the wilderness and in the desert. And I've seen it
(07:05):
three times, and so I just want to tell people right.
And I heard Jensen Franklin, my old pastor at Free Chapel,
which he just did a sermon. He talked about this
is your year. And I'm not saying that in that
this is your year, happy New Year. No, this is
your year. You're supposed to go for it. This is
your year you get off the bench. This is your
year you stop feeling sorry for yourself. This is a
year you get into therapy. Sometimes you need Jesus and therapy. Okay,
(07:27):
maybe you mean Jesus and medication. You know he made
Greek therapists.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
It doesn't have to be either or thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And so I just want people. I don't want you
to have the pain of regret. I teach regret is
such a nothing burger emotion and it's avoidable.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Absolutely, get avoid it.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
And so it's time for people to get off the sidelines.
And that's what changing the narrative is. It's saying it's
looking in the mirror and saying, I don't want to
be a victim. I want to be a victor. I
don't have to be an addict or be broke because
my parents' parents parents' parents were broke, or that they
were addicted to drugs or that they hit. I want
to change the narrative of my life. If I'm miserable
(08:02):
in my job, I'm going to be brave enough to
find another one and go after it. Now you feel
the passion it really?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, I'm higher.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, But that's changing the narrative absolutely.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
And our beliefs shape our behaviors. So, man, I think
a lot of people focus on their behaviors. I want
to stop doing this. I want to start doing that.
I want to quit this, quit that. It's like no
starting your beliefs. Yes, exactly what are you saying to
yourself about yourself that's causing this?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And when you shift that, everything changes.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
So I love that that that is what you stand for, right,
and that's what you take into schools, and that's what
you take.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Into churches and ministries and all of that. So I
love it. So how did this connect the dots to?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Wrote a book?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:41):
You speak, and I want to know, Like, what if
if you were to tell us what is that one thing?
Because you said, when God said to you, hey, do
people need you?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Right? Do they need you more now than ever?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:50):
What was the it for you? So I just asked
you twelve thousand questions.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
We'll start with one. You answer whichever one comes in
whichever order.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, it is my story. It's whatever medium God wants
to use, Lee, and I have to tell you this.
It's every day. I had three flat tires on the
way to a trip recently. I on the way met
three people that I was able to talk about God with.
Give them a book, Ma Chaney Sheldon, and I forget
the last lady's name. It's all about perspective. In times past,
(09:21):
I would have been so pissed and so mad and
so angry that I wasn't but God was saving me
right and so it is. However it happens. The it
is leaving bits of joy, which is my middle name,
like confetti, you know, wherever I go. And then when
I mess up, calling somebody back, you know, for all
the women in the house, Like I've called Venus back,
you know, the clothing company and said can I speak
(09:43):
to Kim? I was rude to Kim and they're like,
we were like twenty thousand people here. I'm like, but
I need to find Kim. K I I was mean
to Kim. Yeah, Like that's what changing the narrative is
is no one we're gonna mess up, but owning it
when we do and just saying, you know what, man,
I'm sorry, I hurt you, I'm sorry, I was ugly,
you know, forgive me. I want to be better, but
(10:05):
you nailed it. It's it's getting to the root of
it and underneath anger. Anger is just the symptom. You
know this and what you study usually we're angry, we're sad, lonely, tired.
There could be a million things that are underneath the anger,
the angers, and I teach people get curious about your pain, yeah,
and willing to sit with you.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
So it's a signal and a symptom.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yea.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
And what was just coming to mind too, is I
think like being open to changing the narrative, about the
ability to change the narrative, because when we have this
story of this is just who I am, this is
what I do, this is how I'll always be, you
are going to become a victim to your selcustance is
you will bring your past regards and shames into the future.
So even just this, oh, I call it an awareness
(10:46):
awareness awareness, So being aware of what you can even
be aware of. I think some people don't understand that
they can shift their beliefs, they can change the narrative,
they can change the goggles with that.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
You're preaching themselves. So it's so, it's so good.
Speaker 5 (10:59):
So tell us how this kind of shifted into when
did you know you wanted to write a book? How
what was the evidence of the of the book? So
tell us how this kind of shifted into when did
you know you wanted to write a book.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
How what was the evidence of the.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Of the book?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
So one other thing I have to tell you about
that is, and I've been teaching on this lately, like
you know, God will send me things and I'll teach
on it, is that so many people don't talk back
to themselves. Yes, and so many times what we call
clinical anxiety is reality the devil. Okay, let's just there
is clinical anxiety and I and I know what that
looks like. And I have battled it my whole life
(11:41):
of battle clinical depression. I know what those things look like.
But oftentimes there are little pervasive thoughts to just go
over and over in our minds. And I know, as
a child of God, that's the enemy, and I will stop.
I will find myself starting to get wound up. And
it happened the other day and I was like I
could feel it in my shoulders and I was stressed out,
and all of a sudden, I stopped and I said,
and I don't know if you've heard this went around
(12:02):
Instagram a while ago. It's like, girl, you doing a
good job. Girl you do? And so I stopped and
I was like, you're fine. I shook it off. I
did a little dance. I was like, girl, you doing
a good job, and like that anxiety that was about
to wind up into a total day. Like another thing
is did you have a bad five minutes or did
you have a bad day? Or did you have a
(12:22):
bad five minutes? A ruined your rabbit hole? Right, And
so I teach people to start talking back to themselves
and keep a journal of what those thoughts are and
what you said back to yourself. And it's not gonna
happen overnight. You know this and the neuro but it will.
You'll create new processes, new neural you know, transsystems ways,
(12:42):
and it changes things.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
It does. Yeah, and it's a consistency thing. It's not
an intensity.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
It's not one of those okay one and done again
three days and I'm saved, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
But it is.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
And I believe that to anxiety for me and depression
as well, is a recipe of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.
And I can cook up anxiety if I'm not mindful,
or I.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Can cook up anti anxiety.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
I can start like you were in my living room
and singing songs. So it really is a powerful point.
But again, if we don't even if we're not even
aware that. You just think yourself, right, yeah, you just think, Oh,
my thoughts are me?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I am my thoughts and you're not confused yet.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Thoughts will lie to you, Feelings will lie to you.
I had a again for an eight podcasts, but I
had a dark night of the soul where a trigger
warning for anybody that's listening that needs to pause. This
is a trigger warning. But I almost took my own
life as after my mom passed away, and I had
another psychologist work with me afterwards and say facts versus feelings,
(13:39):
and what I was believing that night were feelings that
we're not facts. And what I also believed that night
was that I couldn't burden my family and friends with
what was going on at three o'clock in the morning,
which was I believe now a battle between good and
evil in my bedroom that night, and the enemy wanted
to take me out and have me get the gun
that I owned and take my life. And there was
(14:00):
a battle going on. And so now I teach people
people would rather share your burdens and carry your casket.
Oh yeah, And so what we do now is within
changing the narrative on the mental health side is we
create a mental health battle plan. So for anybody hear,
anybody within the sound of our voices, the mental health
battle plan is this. You find three people, I call
them your rider or diyes, and you call them right
(14:21):
now today and say, if I win the lottery, you're
going with me on a cruise to Mexico. If I
have a flat tire, you're gonna be the first person
I call. And consequently, if I'm struggling mentally in the
middle of the night, I'm gonna call you. And so
what you do when you if you get to a
point which I never ever thought about it before, it
happened very quickly to me. If you ever get to
(14:42):
that point, you call a first call or text your
first rid er, die second third. If you can't get them,
you call a crisis hotline, or if you know you're
that bad off, you call a crisis hotline, text somebody
to come sit with you while this is happening. What
I did not know I didn't have a battle plan,
and so I was going through the throes of this thing,
this battle, in my house, in my room alone, thinking
(15:04):
that I couldn't burden my family or friends and when
they found out, they cried to me and said, I
cannot believe you did not think you could call me?
And so now what it's so great And that's weird
to say that about a mistake. Is that the devil doughter,
he's going to take me out, but he gave me
the blueprint to be able to save millions of life.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Yeah, I was thinking that.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
I was like that the depths of our darkness as
the height of our life. That's exactly what happened to you.
Like the deep blows right are the you know, the
joy that you bring to everyone.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
So was that a turning point for you?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Point? I tell her I had a show on Serious
in the next morning, and my producer it was an
early morning show, which all I say, all it took
my mom passed away May first, my boyfriend and I
had broken up, and at the end of May I
had no money in my bank account. And the reason
why is because I was taking care of my mom.
I was helping her sitting here on tree. I don't
(16:00):
regret a bit of that. And I wasn't working a lot,
I wasn't speaking. I was taking care of my mom.
And so those three things coupled with sleep deprivation, and
that's all it took. Because I was getting up early
for serious shows when I normally did the night shows.
And so the next morning, I'm on the serious show
and I'm sniffling, and my producer goes, are you okay?
And I said, oh, it's just allergies, was lying well.
(16:22):
Afterwards the show, I'm sitting there, I'm contemplating what has
just happened in my house the night before, and the
one voice says, you can't talk about that. You're disgusting,
you're pitiful, you're weak, no one will ever book you
to speak. But the good voice, the good voice, said,
my girl, my girl, you're a warrior, and I saved
you for a purpose, and go tell it far and wide.
(16:44):
You're not defect, if you're not weak, you're not broken,
and you will save so many lives. And so I
just began talking about it, and we're the movement was
already crazy. We'd been to Alabama and Oregon and Auburn
and all these big schools, all these things. It's skyrocketed.
People were calling left and right. I started to talk
about it, and players would come up to me after
(17:04):
and say, you two I heard the voices. I was
going to drive my car off the road and the
way here, I had a noose to around my neck.
Just last week I got bit in the head by
a mosquito and I took it as a sign from
God to take the news off of my neck and
get down from the chair. And so where was already
purpose passion platform, mine experience of domestic violence and what
sets your soul on fire? And then it started to
(17:24):
become dating. Now it was mental health too, and it
was just blew the lid off of this movement. And
it's insane. It's almost unfathomable.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Really, Oh my gosh, tell us about how you are
spreading the movement.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Yeah, I was going to write a book. It's in
the It's a chapter about Israel. I know your background.
I just love it. You saw my star David on
my neck. That was my mama's. And I was in Israel.
Right before I left Israel, I was working with you
talk about full circle. But I was working with the
lady who did Heaven is for Real and Left Behind.
So she was very, very successful. And I'd written a
(17:58):
book proposal called Calling on the Hearts of Kings in
twenty eighteen, and she was like, you're gonna I think
you're gonna get between three and five offers and you're
gonna be able to choose. Well, I didn't get one.
I didn't get one call back, and I got the
last no. As a matter of fact, as I was
getting on a bus on the way to Israel with
complete strangers with Kufi, and I know now that God
wanted all of my attention in Israel particularly, And I'll
(18:21):
tell a very brief story. We were in the Garden,
the Garden tomb, and most of our group had gone ahead,
and there were just a few of us and we
went in and just to see where he laid. We'll
wreck you. And we're getting ready to leave, and you
have to stoop to leave the tomb for those that
have not been to Israel, and pray for Israel, by
the way, pray for everybody that's being affected there. And
(18:44):
I stooped to leave, and I heard God say to me,
my girl, whatever you think is the worst thing that
can happen to you, just know I've got you in
my peon brain. I just lost my dad a few
years before, my grandmother. My peon brain, I couldn't think of.
I thought losing a house, losing a job. You know,
I couldn't think of anything beyond that. I went home,
(19:06):
and two months later my mom was diagnosed as stage
four breast cancer and she died ten months later in
my arms. And what our loving Father, our loving God,
was trying to tell me was that your world is
about to be turned upside down and I will never
leave you and I won't forsake you, and I love you.
And he helped me the entire way. Yeah. Yeah, that's
(19:26):
the God we serve. And so fast forward. Two years later,
I wrote a book about that and everything else. And
what God showed me was that it just wasn't time
the first time. The story was not wasn't it wasn't time.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
He was just cooking. The story was just cooking.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
He was just cooking. And I'm unashamed of my emotions
for anybody who's listening. Gosh, absolutely, I used to Oh,
I'm so sorry, I'm crying. No, thank thank you for that.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Yeah yeah, absolutely, that in itself is a is a
lesson for all of us.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
When did you know that the time was ready for
this book to go in the oven?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Like this book?
Speaker 5 (20:09):
When did you know that the time was ready for
this book to go in the oven.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Like this book, the dream never left me and it
was actually, this is another great story. Pastor Derwin Gray,
former NFL player. I did his podcast and in the
midst of his podcast, he stops in the middle of
the podcasts and he said, I need to be obedient
to God. And I said, okay, Pastor, and he said,
your name is going to be known to nations. And
you know, I was already a speaker. I was already
(20:34):
doing things. I already had some level of a public career.
And he said, you're gonna go places you can only
dream of. And he said, don't you forget you're not
a motivational speaker. It's because of God. And I was like,
ooh wow. And at the end of the podcast, he said,
you need to write a book and I said, I
already tried. It didn't work. He said, try again, connected
me to his book agent. Within forty eight hours or hours,
(20:55):
I was on the phone with him. Within a week,
I had an agent, signed deal, and then within six
months I had a treatment, and then within three months
I had a book deal.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Oh my goodness, try again, try.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Again, try and I'll tell you something that I felt
on my spirit as we've been sitting here, I feel
like you need to write a book. Well, thank you.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I feel like you need to write Thank you so
much for saying that.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
I've written books on stressful seeding and that side of things,
but I have not yet written a book the book
of books, like a spirit led book, if you will.
It's always been from the head, not the heart and
the spirit you know. So well, thank you for thank
you for saying that. And I'm like, okay, what they
say mission accepted challenge.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Except I mean I did it to me, important to me,
and it prophetically spoken over me. So why would I
not speak over people where God clearly puts it on
my heart. Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Absolutely, well, thank you so much for saying that.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
So, for anybody who is hearing about this book, can
you tell us a little bit about the book.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
It's super cool. It's one part memoir, one part self help,
one part faith. At the beginning of it, I say
this is for you if you're mad at God, don't
know God, believe it a different religion, wherever you are
on the spectrum. I hope by the end of this
you're curious and think that Jesus was a really rad dude,
I know, love it.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
That's how I started.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I was like, this Jesus guy is a rad dude,
Like I want to know more.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I was like, I don't know if I want to,
you know, believe in him.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And that's what I Yeah. I just wanted people to
be curious about him no matter what. And the coolest
thing I think about the book has happened to write it.
But at the end of each chapter is something called
a joystart, which I created this word, and a joy
start is like a jump start for your soul, just
like a jump start for your car, and it's somebody.
A joy starter is somebody who notices joy, spreads joy
and his joy. And so instead of like leaving it
(22:39):
to the end to let you do your own self analysis,
at the end of each chapter is like, hey, here's
what you learned in that chapter. Here's how you can
apply it to your life. And it's questions. It's filling
the blank. I fought for journal space in the back
and like they were like, are you you know, like
because the amount of pages and printing mm hm. But
I was like, I need this to be part journal,
part self help, part memoir. It came out in May,
(23:01):
and I got really obsessed when it came out about
it being a best seller, and then God and had
a little hissy fit and God had to remind me
that it wasn't about that. So I got my priorities
back straight and kept it them on God and just
you know, the book and how it affected people, and
that God called me to write it for one and
not long after, he gave me a great gift of
making it a best seller because I got put my
(23:22):
eyes back on Him and not worldly accolades.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Absolutely, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
So I want to come back to your mentor your
pastor that said you're you're not a motivational speaker, you know,
so what would you say, like, because now it's it's
easy to place our identity in Okay, I'm an author,
I'm a speaker, I'm a you know, a host, but
whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
When it comes to this identity topic, Yeah, can you.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Share a little bit about how you because you also
said you're like when when the haters were coming back
when you were sports Cassie, It's like you were so.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Grounded and rooted in to who you are. So I
want to bring this full circle.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Yeah, talk to us a little bit about how you
stay rooted and grounded in your own identity in the
midst of all of this, you know, because you're pouring
into so many other people all the time. Yeah, but
yet you have this beautiful intimate relationship with our father, Like,
you know, what is it that grounds you?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
How do you stay rooted?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
How do you come back to your identity and share it?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
A little bit about that.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
So I call it soul care. It's deeper than self care.
We have this term self care thrown around all the time,
and people have never and I write about this in
the book too, but I don't think a lot of
people have ever done an investigation of themselves. You have
to look at yourself as the greatest experiment of your
entire life. What fills the cup of your soul. So
it's different for you than it is for me. A
couple of years ago, I was a huge golfer. I'll
(24:35):
get back to golf at some time. Right now, I
have four bonus kids, I'm traveling, i'm speaking, we're I'm
trying to write book number two, you know, So now
my soul care is like napping reading. I've gotten to
be another voracious reader like I used to be, taking
hot bas spending time with my family, being at home.
I'm into plants now, I'm like a big plant person.
So it's really looking at yourself and saying, what fills
(24:58):
the cup of my soul right now? And then you
maybe go back to what you did when you were
younger and what you what you want to do in
the future, and hold on to dreams right and then
what currently does it for you? And so when you
start to investigate those things, you go, okay, right now,
I really love to golf, but that just doesn't do
it for me, or I don't have the time. Other
people think that you have to go on this like
(25:19):
long time. I can go stand at the beach. I
live near the beach for fifteen minutes, breathe, pray, and
I feel like I've been to the spa for a week,
you know what I mean. Because it's my soul. And
so I think people need to get curious about what
soul care looks like for them.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
I love that it's so good.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
Yeah yeah, I feel like, you know, self care often
gets thrown into that category of bubba baths and yeah cares,
and it's like, no, it's so much more than that.
It's so much chuper and it's so interpersonal, you know.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
So I love that. Well, thank you so much for
being here.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
We have a couple of questions that we ask to
our amazing guests.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
So, and this is where you can we'll do a
little pick one.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
But so you can either choose a spiritual soundtrack or
a spiritual bookshelf. So the spirituals spiritual soundtrack would be
a song, a piece of music that has special significance
to you, maybe how it relates to your faith journey
or spiritual bookshelf. So book scripture or spiritual text that's
had a profound impact.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
On your faith journey or what you know, maybe what you've.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Drawn for it.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
So spiritual soundtrack or spiritual bookshelf, bookshelf.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Okay, I said you're a ver age reader.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Okay, so what would you say your your book would
be so piece of literature.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
So you would love this one since you're newly married,
and if you've not read it, or maybe you have,
but love and respect it is one of the pre
eminent books on relationships and marriage and how men feel
love and express love and how women feel love and
express love. And the basic premise is that men, oftentimes
(26:45):
painting with the broad brush, feel love through respect. And
when you disrespect a man, you cut off his airway.
When you don't show love to a woman through either
romance or affirmation or affection, you cut off her airway.
And so then she's mad at him because he's not
loving her, and then so she's disrespecting him. So they
call it the crazy cycle, and you go on it
over and over and over again until you decide to
(27:08):
get off of it and have communication and understand what's
going on with your partner. And you're so good? Is it?
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Doctor Emerson?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I guess okay, I found it. It's a good one.
I'm putting it in my car as we speak.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
No.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
And it's so true too, you know, because when you're
working on relationships, whether it's before during after marriage, it
does take work. And I think it, you know, we
can simplify it in the like the love languages thing,
but really it's the core essence of a man and
a woman. And I really I was actually just journaling
about that the other day, Like what drives us to
feel loved and seen and heard and known and understanding
(27:42):
that about your partner so powerful, understanding that about your friends,
your family.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I loved ones all of it.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
So I love I love the distinctions that you just
shared in that Yes, and then this one is called
failures redeemed, so a time that your faith was tested.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
I know you've shared you know a few already, or
when you.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Found yourself in a situation that felt like a failure
or a set back aggression, but God used it, redeemed
it turned it into a massive blessing or a lesson.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, I think it was the honestly is the one
I just shared, and that was getting turned down with
that book and being fully present. God did not want
me worrying about a book deal in the Holy Land.
He needed me fully present. And what was interesting was
I now circle all the way back around. I'm back
with that agency. Wow, And I'm not with her the
(28:29):
one that did Heaven is for real and left behind.
But I'm with her like her protege. And her name
is Kathleen, and we're going to write this second book
and we're so excited about it and it's a continuation
of relentless joy. People are like, what is it? More stories?
I got more story. Yeah, I got stories you know
that didn't make it in the first book, so very
similar to relentless Joy, and that was not God's plan.
(28:50):
And in that moment I felt such failure. I was like, well,
what worked so hard for this? God? To me, he
had a book, he just had it in the future
and it looked different.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Absolutely and being present in Israel, but also you needed
to be emotionally available.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Time about for your mother when you get back, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
So God was clearing a path for you to be
present where you need to be present. I think it's
so interesting to hear these stories too, because we do
we look at something and we immediately label it as
a failure or a setback or a regression or like
oh I'm not where I was air quotes supposed to be.
And then you know, hindsight's twenty twenty and we look
and we see that you know, there was something else
took its place, But some people don't necessarily look back
(29:27):
and make that connection of like, wait a minute, something
something that was more meant to happen to happen. So
it's really important I think that we model that and
show the hindsight.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
So I love it. Well, thank you so much for
being here.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
I know there's so many places that people can find you,
so share, share where people can find you, stock you, yeah,
all the things.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yes, Rachel Barbo dot com. You can if that last
name throws you first, right, yeah, put it on Google too,
I'm changing the narrative dot org and then on any
social I love to hear from people. You can grab
the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. The
coolest thing that's happen been with the book is that,
like you could get it online, but I didn't know,
like who would carry it and all those things. And
(30:06):
so since it's come out, people send me books from
like places like airport at Chicago, which I told and
it you know, airports are really hard to get into,
Airport at Tucson, Barnes and Noble independent bookstores, which are
my favorite. And like every time I get one of those,
I'm like, oh my.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Gosh, you know, because my book, Yeah, it's a big deal.
Speaker 5 (30:24):
It's absolutely, absolutely so for anybody.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Who missed the name of it.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
It's called Relentless Joy, finding, freedom, passion, and happiness even
when you have to fight for it.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
So check it out.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
It is everywhere including airports, including airports.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
And then I'm the joy Starters Podcast. I do a
weekly podcast.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
And if you're into podcasts, which you probably are, you
listening to this. It is raw, it is real. She
doesn't hold back. If you loved her stories, She's got
stories and she she really peels back.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
The curtain of her life and her experiences.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
So check that out as well.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Well.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
It has been a joy pun totally intended for you
to be here.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And spoiler alert, I'm you know you're coming back. Yeah,
it's just it's just happening, and so thank you so
much for being here, thank you all for listening.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Signing out for What's God Got to Do with It?
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Bye, We'll be back with more What's God Got to
Do with It? But in the meantime, I would definitely
love to hear from you, so just tell me where
you are in your story or maybe what questions you have,
like where do you feel you need clarity or support
or wisdom in your own journey. I definitely want to
(31:31):
hear from you, So head on over to What's God
Got to Do with It dot com and scroll down
to the form to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
And you can do that instantly.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
So What's God Got to Do with It? Dot com
you'll find all the ways.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
To do that.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Of What's God Got to Do With It?
Speaker 5 (31:57):
New episodes drop every single Tuesday, and while you're there,
be sure to rate and review to show your support.
It really means so much. What's God Got to Do
With It? Is an iHeartRadio podcast on the Amy Brown
Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
It's written and hosted.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
By Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post production
and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music written by
Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
If you want to go on a journey. If you're skeptical,
don't worry.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm here to preach gonn to keep the clean and
talk to me and recall where faith needs stops nature,
get in touch with your creator with a bacon.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Love and joke.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
She even speaks Hebrew. What's that?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What's that? Well said? Talking transformation? What's stop down?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Hey, we are back for What's the guy got to
do with It?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
And this is our second episode with Rachel Joy and she.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Truly is a Joy. So I'm so glad to have
you back last week. If you missed it, definitely go
back and check it out.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
It will give a lot of context to what we're
talking about today because all of who Rachel is today
and how she's showing up and who she is serving
is really a product of everything that she's gone through.
And she really is this vessel and an instrument and
an extension of God's hands and part of the army
of goodness to really spread the love.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
So if you miss that, definitely go back and check
it out.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
But I'd love for you to share.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
You know, last week we learned how God saved you
from a life of destruction and toxicity and drugs and
disorder and all the things, and now he is just straight.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Up using you and it's so good.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It's so good.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
So share with us what was that transition, Like, what
was the wake up call? Obviously, like you were in
the sports world, you were you were a recovering dramatic right,
and then you had your own personal life all the little,
you know, intricacies that happens that weaves into everything that
we do. But obviously there was some pivotal moment where
you decided to you know, come out of the sports
(01:52):
world and really transition into what you're doing now. So
I'd love for you to share with our audience like
what was that, Like, what were the you know? And
one of the things I love about you and your
relationship with God is like you have this listening.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Ear, like you're hearing him.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
And I think that's really unique because I know for me,
as I'm navigating my spiritual life figuring out how I
hear God, whether it's in words, pictures, dreams, whatever, we
all have our different ways, but I think I know
every person I've ever talked to is like, yeah, I
you know, want to hear more from God too, So
I love that you are sharing that as you go too,
So feel free to share.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
What you've been hearing too, because we want to be
a party to that.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
But take us on that journey. What was it like
when you got the call?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You know?
Speaker 5 (02:31):
And I know for a lot of us, we get
the call and then we take the call, right, So
just bring us into that little part of your world.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yes, So I was sportscasting. I was doing all sorts
of amazing things in the world, and I was at
the top of my gang. And flashback to the summer
twenty sixteen. It was a very dark summer in college football,
and I was a college football reporter, primarily on College
Sports Nation six Sam first female host, and I remember
(02:59):
working with men I work twice as hard to be
respected half as much. So I'd be, you know, prepping
two hours beforehand. Anybody that knew me knew how hard
I worked. I was an over prepare. I always said,
you know, I'm I play well in the sandbox with people.
You know, I'm a people person. I'm a good team player,
and in anything, your reputation precedes you, and so it
absolutely does. And so that summer we were on the
(03:21):
heels of the Penn State scandal. We were in the
thick of the Baalor's scandal. There was sexual violence, domestic violence,
there are coaches getting in trouble left and right. And
God puts something in my heart and he was like,
you can help. And I was like, what do you
mean I can help? And so I say that I
wrote a curriculum. I want to tell people don't be
ashamed of small beginnings. The curriculum was a two page
(03:43):
Google doctor kay yea. I don't if it was a
napkin right like it was the beginning. And I thought
I would go into high schools. But my friend doctor
Kevin Elko, who is Nick Saban's right hand man, which
telling my dream. He calls him vouches for me to
Jimbo Fisher at FSU at the time in twenty sixteen.
(04:03):
And I remember my mom, my, stepdad and I weren
Jackson Hole together and we got the call. It was
like our favorite place, you know, And we got the
call and he said, Jimbo Fisher wants you August twenty sixth,
twenty sixteen, and we held hands and jump dump it
down and screamed. And little did I know what God
would do. I thought I'd always be a sportscaster and
that'd do these talks on the side. But here I
(04:25):
am seven years later, almost eight now seven and a
half years later, and we've now worked with over eighty
high schools and colleges. I work with K through five,
I work with prison ministry, I work with halfway houses, corporations, churches.
There's not a place I won't go. And we talk
about joy, interpersonal relationships, mental health, purpose beyond your job
(04:47):
or athletics. And it got so big that I tried
sportscasting and you know, and doing this too at the
same time. And I couldn't do it. And God was
speaking to me again about retiring, and he used a
couple of doors slammed in my face in twenty nineteen
and situations, and I finally walked away and retired October
(05:09):
twenty seventh, twenty nineteen. And then I thought twenty twenty
was my year, as many people did. It really was
my year. It was in a weird way. I lost
all my speaking engagements, all my income. I would end
up losing my house and I lost my mom the
year before, and I almost quit. I was locked down
by myself at home, my husband was in My soon
(05:31):
to be husband was in Florida, and I was so mad.
I said, God, you told me to quit sports guests
and you told me to do this. What are you
doing to me? I said in my book, if I
was Lot's wife, I would have been a pillar assault,
you know, like I looked back so many times, and
God said, do people need you? Yes? God? Do people
need you now? And moreever? Yes?
Speaker 5 (05:48):
God?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Do you have ways to meet them? Yes? God? Did
I call you this? Yes? God? So I got up.
I threw those day and covers back and got up
with like this holy ghost fire. And I started calling
every school that I could. I gave away my services
for free. I gave away talks. I studied myself. I
studied psychology, I studied everything I could. I had fires
(06:09):
in my backyard by myself. I mean, I went into
like a complete study. And when we were able to
travel again, the movement was even bigger than when we
went into the pandemic. And it's just been amazing.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
It's God real talk to us about changing the narrative,
because you know, as a self image scientist, I am
obsessed with the power of what happens when we completely
change the narrative, and it's it's so relevant to so
many different topics and subjects and areas of our life.
But obviously it's got a special meaning and you know
definition in your eyes. So talk to us about your
(06:41):
changing the narrative.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
So you asked me though, and I have to say
this about how God speaks to me. Yea, God speaks
to me through signs. It's usually in threes. It might
be a sign, it might be music, it might be people,
it might be scripture. And I have seen the Scripture
three times in the last week in different ways. I
drove by it yesterday would Mont Baptist Church, who I'm
doing a new thing. I will make a way in
the wilderness and in the desert. And I've seen it
(07:05):
three times, and so I just want to tell people right.
And I heard Jensen Franklin, my old pastor at Free Chapel,
which he just did a sermon. He talked about this
is your year. And I'm not saying that in that
this is your year, happy New Year. No, this is
your year. You're supposed to go for it. This is
your year you get off the bench. This is your
year you stop feeling sorry for yourself. This is a
year you get into therapy. Sometimes you need Jesus and therapy. Okay,
(07:27):
maybe you mean Jesus and medication. You know he made
Greek therapists.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
It doesn't have to be either or thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And so I just want people. I don't want you
to have the pain of regret. I teach regret is
such a nothing burger emotion and it's avoidable.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Absolutely, get avoid it.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
And so it's time for people to get off the sidelines.
And that's what changing the narrative is. It's saying it's
looking in the mirror and saying, I don't want to
be a victim. I want to be a victor. I
don't have to be an addict or be broke because
my parents' parents parents' parents were broke, or that they
were addicted to drugs or that they hit. I want
to change the narrative of my life. If I'm miserable
(08:02):
in my job, I'm going to be brave enough to
find another one and go after it. Now you feel
the passion it really?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, I'm higher.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, But that's changing the narrative absolutely.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
And our beliefs shape our behaviors. So, man, I think
a lot of people focus on their behaviors. I want
to stop doing this. I want to start doing that.
I want to quit this, quit that. It's like no
starting your beliefs. Yes, exactly what are you saying to
yourself about yourself that's causing this?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And when you shift that, everything changes.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
So I love that that that is what you stand for, right,
and that's what you take into schools, and that's what
you take.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Into churches and ministries and all of that. So I
love it. So how did this connect the dots to?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Wrote a book?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:41):
You speak, and I want to know, Like, what if
if you were to tell us what is that one thing?
Because you said, when God said to you, hey, do
people need you?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Right? Do they need you more now than ever?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (08:50):
What was the it for you? So I just asked
you twelve thousand questions.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
We'll start with one. You answer whichever one comes in
whichever order.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, it is my story. It's whatever medium God wants
to use, Lee, and I have to tell you this.
It's every day. I had three flat tires on the
way to a trip recently. I on the way met
three people that I was able to talk about God with.
Give them a book, Ma Chaney Sheldon, and I forget
the last lady's name. It's all about perspective. In times past,
(09:21):
I would have been so pissed and so mad and
so angry that I wasn't but God was saving me
right and so it is. However it happens. The it
is leaving bits of joy, which is my middle name,
like confetti, you know, wherever I go. And then when
I mess up, calling somebody back, you know, for all
the women in the house, Like I've called Venus back,
you know, the clothing company and said can I speak
(09:43):
to Kim? I was rude to Kim and they're like,
we were like twenty thousand people here. I'm like, but
I need to find Kim. K I I was mean
to Kim. Yeah, Like that's what changing the narrative is
is no one we're gonna mess up, but owning it
when we do and just saying, you know what, man,
I'm sorry, I hurt you, I'm sorry, I was ugly,
you know, forgive me. I want to be better, but
(10:05):
you nailed it. It's it's getting to the root of
it and underneath anger. Anger is just the symptom. You
know this and what you study usually we're angry, we're sad, lonely, tired.
There could be a million things that are underneath the anger,
the angers, and I teach people get curious about your pain, yeah,
and willing to sit with you.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
So it's a signal and a symptom.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yea.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
And what was just coming to mind too, is I
think like being open to changing the narrative, about the
ability to change the narrative, because when we have this
story of this is just who I am, this is
what I do, this is how I'll always be, you
are going to become a victim to your selcustance is
you will bring your past regards and shames into the future.
So even just this, oh, I call it an awareness
(10:46):
awareness awareness, So being aware of what you can even
be aware of. I think some people don't understand that
they can shift their beliefs, they can change the narrative,
they can change the goggles with that.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
You're preaching themselves. So it's so, it's so good.
Speaker 5 (10:59):
So tell us how this kind of shifted into when
did you know you wanted to write a book? How
what was the evidence of the of the book? So
tell us how this kind of shifted into when did
you know you wanted to write a book.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
How what was the evidence of the.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Of the book?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
So one other thing I have to tell you about
that is, and I've been teaching on this lately, like
you know, God will send me things and I'll teach
on it, is that so many people don't talk back
to themselves. Yes, and so many times what we call
clinical anxiety is reality the devil. Okay, let's just there
is clinical anxiety and I and I know what that
looks like. And I have battled it my whole life
(11:41):
of battle clinical depression. I know what those things look like.
But oftentimes there are little pervasive thoughts to just go
over and over in our minds. And I know, as
a child of God, that's the enemy, and I will stop.
I will find myself starting to get wound up. And
it happened the other day and I was like I
could feel it in my shoulders and I was stressed out,
and all of a sudden, I stopped and I said,
and I don't know if you've heard this went around
(12:02):
Instagram a while ago. It's like, girl, you doing a
good job. Girl you do? And so I stopped and
I was like, you're fine. I shook it off. I
did a little dance. I was like, girl, you doing
a good job, and like that anxiety that was about
to wind up into a total day. Like another thing
is did you have a bad five minutes or did
you have a bad day? Or did you have a
(12:22):
bad five minutes? A ruined your rabbit hole? Right, And
so I teach people to start talking back to themselves
and keep a journal of what those thoughts are and
what you said back to yourself. And it's not gonna
happen overnight. You know this and the neuro but it will.
You'll create new processes, new neural you know, transsystems ways,
(12:42):
and it changes things.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
It does. Yeah, and it's a consistency thing. It's not
an intensity.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
It's not one of those okay one and done again
three days and I'm saved, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
But it is.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
And I believe that to anxiety for me and depression
as well, is a recipe of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.
And I can cook up anxiety if I'm not mindful,
or I.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Can cook up anti anxiety.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
I can start like you were in my living room
and singing songs. So it really is a powerful point.
But again, if we don't even if we're not even
aware that. You just think yourself, right, yeah, you just think, Oh,
my thoughts are me?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I am my thoughts and you're not confused yet.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Thoughts will lie to you, Feelings will lie to you.
I had a again for an eight podcasts, but I
had a dark night of the soul where a trigger
warning for anybody that's listening that needs to pause. This
is a trigger warning. But I almost took my own
life as after my mom passed away, and I had
another psychologist work with me afterwards and say facts versus feelings,
(13:39):
and what I was believing that night were feelings that
we're not facts. And what I also believed that night
was that I couldn't burden my family and friends with
what was going on at three o'clock in the morning,
which was I believe now a battle between good and
evil in my bedroom that night, and the enemy wanted
to take me out and have me get the gun
that I owned and take my life. And there was
(14:00):
a battle going on. And so now I teach people
people would rather share your burdens and carry your casket.
Oh yeah, And so what we do now is within
changing the narrative on the mental health side is we
create a mental health battle plan. So for anybody hear,
anybody within the sound of our voices, the mental health
battle plan is this. You find three people, I call
them your rider or diyes, and you call them right
(14:21):
now today and say, if I win the lottery, you're
going with me on a cruise to Mexico. If I
have a flat tire, you're gonna be the first person
I call. And consequently, if I'm struggling mentally in the
middle of the night, I'm gonna call you. And so
what you do when you if you get to a
point which I never ever thought about it before, it
happened very quickly to me. If you ever get to
(14:42):
that point, you call a first call or text your
first rid er, die second third. If you can't get them,
you call a crisis hotline, or if you know you're
that bad off, you call a crisis hotline, text somebody
to come sit with you while this is happening. What
I did not know I didn't have a battle plan,
and so I was going through the throes of this thing,
this battle, in my house, in my room alone, thinking
(15:04):
that I couldn't burden my family or friends and when
they found out, they cried to me and said, I
cannot believe you did not think you could call me?
And so now what it's so great And that's weird
to say that about a mistake. Is that the devil doughter,
he's going to take me out, but he gave me
the blueprint to be able to save millions of life.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Yeah, I was thinking that.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
I was like that the depths of our darkness as
the height of our life. That's exactly what happened to you.
Like the deep blows right are the you know, the
joy that you bring to everyone.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
So was that a turning point for you?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Point? I tell her I had a show on Serious
in the next morning, and my producer it was an
early morning show, which all I say, all it took
my mom passed away May first, my boyfriend and I
had broken up, and at the end of May I
had no money in my bank account. And the reason
why is because I was taking care of my mom.
I was helping her sitting here on tree. I don't
(16:00):
regret a bit of that. And I wasn't working a lot,
I wasn't speaking. I was taking care of my mom.
And so those three things coupled with sleep deprivation, and
that's all it took. Because I was getting up early
for serious shows when I normally did the night shows.
And so the next morning, I'm on the serious show
and I'm sniffling, and my producer goes, are you okay?
And I said, oh, it's just allergies, was lying well.
(16:22):
Afterwards the show, I'm sitting there, I'm contemplating what has
just happened in my house the night before, and the
one voice says, you can't talk about that. You're disgusting,
you're pitiful, you're weak, no one will ever book you
to speak. But the good voice, the good voice, said,
my girl, my girl, you're a warrior, and I saved
you for a purpose, and go tell it far and wide.
(16:44):
You're not defect, if you're not weak, you're not broken,
and you will save so many lives. And so I
just began talking about it, and we're the movement was
already crazy. We'd been to Alabama and Oregon and Auburn
and all these big schools, all these things. It's skyrocketed.
People were calling left and right. I started to talk
about it, and players would come up to me after
(17:04):
and say, you two I heard the voices. I was
going to drive my car off the road and the
way here, I had a noose to around my neck.
Just last week I got bit in the head by
a mosquito and I took it as a sign from
God to take the news off of my neck and
get down from the chair. And so where was already
purpose passion platform, mine experience of domestic violence and what
sets your soul on fire? And then it started to
(17:24):
become dating. Now it was mental health too, and it
was just blew the lid off of this movement. And
it's insane. It's almost unfathomable.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Really, Oh my gosh, tell us about how you are
spreading the movement.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Yeah, I was going to write a book. It's in
the It's a chapter about Israel. I know your background.
I just love it. You saw my star David on
my neck. That was my mama's. And I was in Israel.
Right before I left Israel, I was working with you
talk about full circle. But I was working with the
lady who did Heaven is for Real and Left Behind.
So she was very, very successful. And I'd written a
(17:58):
book proposal called Calling on the Hearts of Kings in
twenty eighteen, and she was like, you're gonna I think
you're gonna get between three and five offers and you're
gonna be able to choose. Well, I didn't get one.
I didn't get one call back, and I got the
last no. As a matter of fact, as I was
getting on a bus on the way to Israel with
complete strangers with Kufi, and I know now that God
wanted all of my attention in Israel particularly, And I'll
(18:21):
tell a very brief story. We were in the Garden,
the Garden tomb, and most of our group had gone ahead,
and there were just a few of us and we
went in and just to see where he laid. We'll
wreck you. And we're getting ready to leave, and you
have to stoop to leave the tomb for those that
have not been to Israel, and pray for Israel, by
the way, pray for everybody that's being affected there. And
(18:44):
I stooped to leave, and I heard God say to me,
my girl, whatever you think is the worst thing that
can happen to you, just know I've got you in
my peon brain. I just lost my dad a few
years before, my grandmother. My peon brain, I couldn't think of.
I thought losing a house, losing a job. You know,
I couldn't think of anything beyond that. I went home,
(19:06):
and two months later my mom was diagnosed as stage
four breast cancer and she died ten months later in
my arms. And what our loving Father, our loving God,
was trying to tell me was that your world is
about to be turned upside down and I will never
leave you and I won't forsake you, and I love you.
And he helped me the entire way. Yeah. Yeah, that's
(19:26):
the God we serve. And so fast forward. Two years later,
I wrote a book about that and everything else. And
what God showed me was that it just wasn't time
the first time. The story was not wasn't it wasn't time.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
He was just cooking. The story was just cooking.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
He was just cooking. And I'm unashamed of my emotions
for anybody who's listening. Gosh, absolutely, I used to Oh,
I'm so sorry, I'm crying. No, thank thank you for that.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Yeah yeah, absolutely, that in itself is a is a
lesson for all of us.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
When did you know that the time was ready for
this book to go in the oven?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Like this book?
Speaker 5 (20:09):
When did you know that the time was ready for
this book to go in the oven.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Like this book, the dream never left me and it
was actually, this is another great story. Pastor Derwin Gray,
former NFL player. I did his podcast and in the
midst of his podcast, he stops in the middle of
the podcasts and he said, I need to be obedient
to God. And I said, okay, Pastor, and he said,
your name is going to be known to nations. And
you know, I was already a speaker. I was already
(20:34):
doing things. I already had some level of a public career.
And he said, you're gonna go places you can only
dream of. And he said, don't you forget you're not
a motivational speaker. It's because of God. And I was like,
ooh wow. And at the end of the podcast, he said,
you need to write a book and I said, I
already tried. It didn't work. He said, try again, connected
me to his book agent. Within forty eight hours or hours,
(20:55):
I was on the phone with him. Within a week,
I had an agent, signed deal, and then within six
months I had a treatment, and then within three months
I had a book deal.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Oh my goodness, try again, try.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Again, try and I'll tell you something that I felt
on my spirit as we've been sitting here, I feel
like you need to write a book. Well, thank you.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I feel like you need to write Thank you so
much for saying that.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
I've written books on stressful seeding and that side of things,
but I have not yet written a book the book
of books, like a spirit led book, if you will.
It's always been from the head, not the heart and
the spirit you know. So well, thank you for thank
you for saying that. And I'm like, okay, what they
say mission accepted challenge.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Except I mean I did it to me, important to me,
and it prophetically spoken over me. So why would I
not speak over people where God clearly puts it on
my heart. Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Absolutely, well, thank you so much for saying that.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
So, for anybody who is hearing about this book, can
you tell us a little bit about the book.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
It's super cool. It's one part memoir, one part self help,
one part faith. At the beginning of it, I say
this is for you if you're mad at God, don't
know God, believe it a different religion, wherever you are
on the spectrum. I hope by the end of this
you're curious and think that Jesus was a really rad dude,
I know, love it.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
That's how I started.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I was like, this Jesus guy is a rad dude,
Like I want to know more.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I was like, I don't know if I want to,
you know, believe in him.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And that's what I Yeah. I just wanted people to
be curious about him no matter what. And the coolest
thing I think about the book has happened to write it.
But at the end of each chapter is something called
a joystart, which I created this word, and a joy
start is like a jump start for your soul, just
like a jump start for your car, and it's somebody.
A joy starter is somebody who notices joy, spreads joy
and his joy. And so instead of like leaving it
(22:39):
to the end to let you do your own self analysis,
at the end of each chapter is like, hey, here's
what you learned in that chapter. Here's how you can
apply it to your life. And it's questions. It's filling
the blank. I fought for journal space in the back
and like they were like, are you you know, like
because the amount of pages and printing mm hm. But
I was like, I need this to be part journal,
part self help, part memoir. It came out in May,
(23:01):
and I got really obsessed when it came out about
it being a best seller, and then God and had
a little hissy fit and God had to remind me
that it wasn't about that. So I got my priorities
back straight and kept it them on God and just
you know, the book and how it affected people, and
that God called me to write it for one and
not long after, he gave me a great gift of
making it a best seller because I got put my
(23:22):
eyes back on Him and not worldly accolades.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Absolutely, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
So I want to come back to your mentor your
pastor that said you're you're not a motivational speaker, you know,
so what would you say, like, because now it's it's
easy to place our identity in Okay, I'm an author,
I'm a speaker, I'm a you know, a host, but
whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
When it comes to this identity topic, Yeah, can you.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Share a little bit about how you because you also
said you're like when when the haters were coming back
when you were sports Cassie, It's like you were so.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Grounded and rooted in to who you are. So I
want to bring this full circle.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Yeah, talk to us a little bit about how you
stay rooted and grounded in your own identity in the
midst of all of this, you know, because you're pouring
into so many other people all the time. Yeah, but
yet you have this beautiful intimate relationship with our father, Like,
you know, what is it that grounds you?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
How do you stay rooted?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
How do you come back to your identity and share it?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
A little bit about that.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
So I call it soul care. It's deeper than self care.
We have this term self care thrown around all the time,
and people have never and I write about this in
the book too, but I don't think a lot of
people have ever done an investigation of themselves. You have
to look at yourself as the greatest experiment of your
entire life. What fills the cup of your soul. So
it's different for you than it is for me. A
couple of years ago, I was a huge golfer. I'll
(24:35):
get back to golf at some time. Right now, I
have four bonus kids, I'm traveling, i'm speaking, we're I'm
trying to write book number two, you know, So now
my soul care is like napping reading. I've gotten to
be another voracious reader like I used to be, taking
hot bas spending time with my family, being at home.
I'm into plants now, I'm like a big plant person.
So it's really looking at yourself and saying, what fills
(24:58):
the cup of my soul right now? And then you
maybe go back to what you did when you were
younger and what you what you want to do in
the future, and hold on to dreams right and then
what currently does it for you? And so when you
start to investigate those things, you go, okay, right now,
I really love to golf, but that just doesn't do
it for me, or I don't have the time. Other
people think that you have to go on this like
(25:19):
long time. I can go stand at the beach. I
live near the beach for fifteen minutes, breathe, pray, and
I feel like I've been to the spa for a week,
you know what I mean. Because it's my soul. And
so I think people need to get curious about what
soul care looks like for them.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
I love that it's so good.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
Yeah yeah, I feel like, you know, self care often
gets thrown into that category of bubba baths and yeah cares,
and it's like, no, it's so much more than that.
It's so much chuper and it's so interpersonal, you know.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
So I love that. Well, thank you so much for
being here.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
We have a couple of questions that we ask to
our amazing guests.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
So, and this is where you can we'll do a
little pick one.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
But so you can either choose a spiritual soundtrack or
a spiritual bookshelf. So the spirituals spiritual soundtrack would be
a song, a piece of music that has special significance
to you, maybe how it relates to your faith journey
or spiritual bookshelf. So book scripture or spiritual text that's
had a profound impact.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
On your faith journey or what you know, maybe what you've.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Drawn for it.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
So spiritual soundtrack or spiritual bookshelf, bookshelf.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Okay, I said you're a ver age reader.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Okay, so what would you say your your book would
be so piece of literature.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
So you would love this one since you're newly married,
and if you've not read it, or maybe you have,
but love and respect it is one of the pre
eminent books on relationships and marriage and how men feel
love and express love and how women feel love and
express love. And the basic premise is that men, oftentimes
(26:45):
painting with the broad brush, feel love through respect. And
when you disrespect a man, you cut off his airway.
When you don't show love to a woman through either
romance or affirmation or affection, you cut off her airway.
And so then she's mad at him because he's not
loving her, and then so she's disrespecting him. So they
call it the crazy cycle, and you go on it
over and over and over again until you decide to
(27:08):
get off of it and have communication and understand what's
going on with your partner. And you're so good? Is it?
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Doctor Emerson?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I guess okay, I found it. It's a good one.
I'm putting it in my car as we speak.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
No.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
And it's so true too, you know, because when you're
working on relationships, whether it's before during after marriage, it
does take work. And I think it, you know, we
can simplify it in the like the love languages thing,
but really it's the core essence of a man and
a woman. And I really I was actually just journaling
about that the other day, Like what drives us to
feel loved and seen and heard and known and understanding
(27:42):
that about your partner so powerful, understanding that about your friends,
your family.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I loved ones all of it.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
So I love I love the distinctions that you just
shared in that Yes, and then this one is called
failures redeemed, so a time that your faith was tested.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
I know you've shared you know a few already, or
when you.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Found yourself in a situation that felt like a failure
or a set back aggression, but God used it, redeemed
it turned it into a massive blessing or a lesson.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, I think it was the honestly is the one
I just shared, and that was getting turned down with
that book and being fully present. God did not want
me worrying about a book deal in the Holy Land.
He needed me fully present. And what was interesting was
I now circle all the way back around. I'm back
with that agency. Wow, And I'm not with her the
(28:29):
one that did Heaven is for real and left behind.
But I'm with her like her protege. And her name
is Kathleen, and we're going to write this second book
and we're so excited about it and it's a continuation
of relentless joy. People are like, what is it? More stories?
I got more story. Yeah, I got stories you know
that didn't make it in the first book, so very
similar to relentless Joy, and that was not God's plan.
(28:50):
And in that moment I felt such failure. I was like, well,
what worked so hard for this? God? To me, he
had a book, he just had it in the future
and it looked different.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Absolutely and being present in Israel, but also you needed
to be emotionally available.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Time about for your mother when you get back, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
So God was clearing a path for you to be
present where you need to be present. I think it's
so interesting to hear these stories too, because we do
we look at something and we immediately label it as
a failure or a setback or a regression or like
oh I'm not where I was air quotes supposed to be.
And then you know, hindsight's twenty twenty and we look
and we see that you know, there was something else
took its place, But some people don't necessarily look back
(29:27):
and make that connection of like, wait a minute, something
something that was more meant to happen to happen. So
it's really important I think that we model that and
show the hindsight.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
So I love it. Well, thank you so much for
being here.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
I know there's so many places that people can find you,
so share, share where people can find you, stock you, yeah,
all the things.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yes, Rachel Barbo dot com. You can if that last
name throws you first, right, yeah, put it on Google too,
I'm changing the narrative dot org and then on any
social I love to hear from people. You can grab
the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. The
coolest thing that's happen been with the book is that,
like you could get it online, but I didn't know,
like who would carry it and all those things. And
(30:06):
so since it's come out, people send me books from
like places like airport at Chicago, which I told and
it you know, airports are really hard to get into,
Airport at Tucson, Barnes and Noble independent bookstores, which are
my favorite. And like every time I get one of those,
I'm like, oh my.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Gosh, you know, because my book, Yeah, it's a big deal.
Speaker 5 (30:24):
It's absolutely, absolutely so for anybody.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Who missed the name of it.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
It's called Relentless Joy, finding, freedom, passion, and happiness even
when you have to fight for it.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
So check it out.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
It is everywhere including airports, including airports.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
And then I'm the joy Starters Podcast. I do a
weekly podcast.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
And if you're into podcasts, which you probably are, you
listening to this. It is raw, it is real. She
doesn't hold back. If you loved her stories, She's got
stories and she she really peels back.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
The curtain of her life and her experiences.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
So check that out as well.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Well.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
It has been a joy pun totally intended for you
to be here.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And spoiler alert, I'm you know you're coming back. Yeah,
it's just it's just happening, and so thank you so
much for being here, thank you all for listening.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Signing out for What's God Got to Do with It?
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Bye, We'll be back with more What's God Got to
Do with It? But in the meantime, I would definitely
love to hear from you, so just tell me where
you are in your story or maybe what questions you have,
like where do you feel you need clarity or support
or wisdom in your own journey. I definitely want to
(31:31):
hear from you, So head on over to What's God
Got to Do with It dot com and scroll down
to the form to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
And you can do that instantly.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
So What's God Got to Do with It? Dot com
you'll find all the ways.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
To do that.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
And if you like this podcast and want to hear more,
go ahead and follow, like, and subscribe wherever you listen
to podcasts to get your weekly dose.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Of What's God Got to Do With It?
Speaker 5 (31:57):
New episodes drop every single Tuesday, and while you're there,
be sure to rate and review to show your support.
It really means so much. What's God Got to Do
With It? Is an iHeartRadio podcast on the Amy Brown
Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
It's written and hosted.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
By Leanne Ellington, executive produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post production
and editing by Houston Tilley, and original music written by
Cheryl Stark and produced by Adam Stark
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.