Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
If you want to go on a journey.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you're skeptical, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Not here to preach, want to keep clean and talk
to me and recad where faith need starts nature. Get
in touch with your creat with a vagul love and
jew She even speaks Hebrew.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Gotzat?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What's that? Sapsation?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
You should talking transformation? What's that? Gonzato?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I am so excited as this is the very first
official crossover series of What's God Got to Do with It?
In the Outweigh podcast, Because if you've been listening to
me on Outwegh, you know that that podcast is all
about helping women break them selves out of the food
and body prison, end the dieting madness, and take control
of their health for good, but without all that restriction,
(01:08):
obsession and shame, and without dragging it out for years
to address it. And if you've been listening to me
on What's God Got to Do with It, you know
that we are all about the fusion of where science
meets faith and where faith meets transformation and miracles. So
this is a beautiful opportunity to talk about the crossover
of where science meets food and body image and self
(01:31):
image struggles and where that intersects faith or what's God
got to do with all of that. And that's exactly
what this six part series is all about. So Part
one is really just an introduction where we're simply going
to set up this massive topic. Part two is all
about the big picture of where faith meets science meets
(01:54):
food and body image struggles. In Part three, we go
deep into the self image and idea that you would
need to actually step into the version of you that
would have that health, that would have that relationship with
food in her body, and who would actually be at
peace and feel free, and of course how that fuses
with this faith brain conversation. In Part four, we dive
(02:18):
deeper into what God has to do with what I
call your food brain and disordered eating patterns and filling
voids in your head hard in spirit with food or
netflix or wine or whatever your drug of choice is,
and it's a whole that will never be filled by
those things. In Part five, we dive into the complicated
(02:38):
relationship that women have with their bodies and their body
image and physical pain, which is not talked about enough
in my opinion, and how to heal all of that
from a faith meets science perspective and invite God into
the conversation. And then wrapping it up in part six,
we get into the strategy side of things, as in,
(02:59):
what does it look like to use what you've learned
about neuroscience and faith and healing your relationship with food
in your body image to go create a winning game
plan that sets you up to win and one that
your brain just learns so you can go live your life.
Food can be food and you can feel comfortable in
your skin and free from the chains of restricting or
(03:19):
punishing your body. So let's dive on in. Here's Part six.
Welcome back to the Outweigh and What's God Got to
Do with It crossover series, and we are back for
the final episode of this series. And so if you
missed parts one, two, three, four, and five, definitely check
(03:41):
those out because up until now we've covered a lot
and today is going to really bring it all together.
And so we talked about the big picture of this
entire faith meets science meets food and body image conversation,
and we took a deep dive into the self image
and identity that you need to actually step into the
version of you that would have that health and that
(04:02):
would have that relationship with food and her body, and
who would actually be at peace and feel free. And
then we talked about what God has to do with
what I call your food brain and disordered eating patterns
and filling voids in your head and heart and spirit
with food or netflix or wine or whatever your drug
of choice is, and it's a whole that will never
(04:25):
be filled by those things. And then last week we
talked all about what I call your body brain, which
includes your physical body. And then we talked about this
from a nervous system perspective and a physiological health perspective.
But as you now understand from last week's episode, we
can't talk about the physical body side of things without
(04:45):
also talking about the body image and your view of
your body and your relationship with your body, and then
also physical pain, because that's definitely part of the equation,
and so we have to talk about all of it,
and they're all one thousand percent intertwined. And then to today,
we're going to talk all about the strategy side of
things and how to carve out your own winning game plan,
(05:07):
and of course we have to talk about how to
earn back your own trust in the meantime, because again,
let's just say you had all of that strategy and
habit and brain change stuff. Let's just say you had,
you know, the perfect plan and the perfect steps to take.
Who's to say you would actually show up for yourself
and use it and stick with it. And then of
course we're going to learn about our fifth and final
(05:29):
weight of the weight, because again, you know, the weight
on your body isn't the real weight. The real weight
is all this other stuff, aka those chains of beliefs
and behaviors and shame that you've been carrying around with you.
And there is no shame in this whatsoever. It's you know,
it's what I learned, It's what all my clients learn too.
But until you break the chains, you are going to
(05:50):
keep walking around with them, and they do. They just
keep getting heavier and heavier. And if you're anything like
I was, you kind of become desensitized to them, and
they start to feel normal because they're disguised as you
being air quotes health conscious or getting fit or taking
care of yourself. But they are not normal, and they
are chains that bog down your head and your heart
(06:11):
and your spirit and in turn your body and they're
chains that do not have to be there. And that's why,
as I talk about this idea of playing a winning game,
I actually want to briefly revisit the first weight of
the weight from a few episodes back, because it's so
relevant to today's conversation, and it's this we have to
(06:32):
ditch the fight, And that's the weight of chronic and
restrictive dieting, and the weight of all that restriction and
deprivation and punishment and persuasion and stress that typically comes
alongside food and your body, and it does not have to.
But also I'll remind you of this, God did not
design us to have such a toxic relationship with food
(06:54):
and our bodies. But that is so much easier said
than done. Right, So what's the solution and what's the
alternative to that? Well, most women think that, you know,
the alternative to that is feeling out of control of
food if they aren't dieting, or going off the rails
and kind of you know, overstuffing themselves if they're not
(07:15):
following something. But I believe the true alternative to the
toxic dieting and restrictive mentality is everything we've talked about
these past few weeks. And that's really to go make
peace with food and make peace with your body. And
it's really to wave that white flag and lay down
the weapons of destruction and end this war that you've
(07:35):
been in with yourself and with food and with your body.
And this is where I'm inviting you to just go
get so sick and tired of the fight, and to
just simply declare that you're ready to make peace with
food and get on the same team as your body,
even if you don't necessarily know what that looks like.
I'm just inviting you to be open to ending the
(07:55):
cycle of the fight after fight after fight and really
that false sense of control and vow to go in
the direction of peace and love and freedom. And what
better way to do that than with God on your side.
And so you might be thinking, but Leanne, I tried
inviting God into this, and nine times out of ten,
when I ask a woman what that actually means, it
(08:17):
typically means that they asked God to give them more
willpower and discipline and self control so they can keep
dieting and restricting and obsessing. But that's the opposite of
what I'm saying. What I'm saying is to invite God
into the conversation of you actually healing your relationship with
food and your body. And that is something that not
(08:37):
only have most women never done, but they've never invited
God into it. So let's talk about how you can
finally play what I call a winning game and a
game that really sets you up to win, rather than
constantly playing a game that's either setting you up to
lose or setting you up to fail. So I can't
even tell you how many women come to me and
(08:58):
they say things like I just need more motivation and
accountability and willpower, or Leanne, I know what to do,
but I can't get myself to do it, or Leanne,
I can't do this anymore, like I hate all this dieting,
I hate all this fill in the blank, or they
say like I'm not even sure it's ever gonna happen,
But I believe that beliefs like this are actually a
(09:18):
sign that you're playing a losing game and a game
that wasn't designed for you and designed for you to win.
And so what inevitably happens is you end up committing
to this new planner program but it wasn't designed for you,
or you flat out don't enjoy it or you hate it, right,
and to boot it is not easy, like it feels
(09:39):
really hard. And again, part of the reason that it's
hard is because you might actually hate the game plan, right,
so of course you can't follow it long term, and
of course you quit. And I wouldn't blame you, right,
Like who would want to play that game? That that's
no fun And it's definitely not a lifelong game, and
it's really hard and exhausting. And here's the thing. I
(09:59):
played that game two for decades. I was desperately trying
to make over my lifestyle and my health, and I
simply didn't know what I didn't know. And so whether
it was the life I led when I was overweight,
like unhealthy and obsessed with food and kind of eating
as much of it as I could and really like
using it as a as a numbing and coping mechanism,
or the life I led when I was doing the opposite,
(10:21):
like the orthorexia they're restricting, the micromanaging, the obsessing and
taking health to such an unhealthy level. Or the life
I led where my body was injured and constantly in
pain and what I thought at the time was broken,
or the life I led when I was constantly just
feeling out of control of my habits, my willpower, my mojo, depression, anxiety,
(10:43):
all of the mental emotional stuff, and so any of
the lifestyles that I led throughout my life. If I
was having these conversations instead of the mainstream, conventional eat less,
move more conversations that I know are diamond dozen and
everyone's trying to invite you into them, this would have
saved me years of frustration and a gajillion dollars, which
(11:03):
is definitely a real number. And I could have actually
enjoyed the experience of my life and my body along
the way. And you know this now, But before I
went on my own healing journey, I struggled with my
weight and with food and my body, my entire life
and my whole life. I was focusing on the scale
and focusing on my excess tummy that I swore would
(11:23):
make me happy if I lost it, and my mind
was fixated on everything weight related for as long as
I can remember, And then for almost twenty years, I
went and actively researched fitness and weight loss and nutrition,
and along the way, I tried every idiotic diet out
there and I jumped on any crazy workout bandwagon or
regimen I could find, and I too, I blew my
(11:45):
money on expensive shakes and frozen meals and pills and
potions and programs and traders like heck. I even considered
bariatric surgery at one point, and this is before bariatric
surgery was as common as it is today. But even
the methods that did work for me, they wouldn't work
for very long, and I would somehow learn how to
game the system so that I could still eat what
I wanted, and I always ended up right back where
(12:07):
I started, and oftentimes with interest, I would gain more
than I lost. And it really became this predictable pattern
every single time until I experienced what I called the switch.
And I believe that there is this switch that has
to take place in your head and your heart too,
and it doesn't have to be one of those pain
(12:28):
induced rock bottom switches, although I really do believe we're
moved into action by pain far more than we are
moving towards pleasure. But that switch has to happen regardless,
as in that moment when you know that your life
has to change and there needs to be some massive
shifts that occur, and your state needs to shift, and
(12:49):
your environment needs to shift, and there's got to be
that shift on your insides where again, you're just ready
to ditch the fight. You're ready to wave the white flag,
and you're ready to surrender to making peace with your
body and peace with food and finding peace in your heart.
And that really does have to be the first step,
and then you can talk about strategy. Okay, So I
(13:11):
wanted to just make that clear, right, that's got to
be the first step. And then after you've made the switch,
I teach my clients what I believe is one of
the most important and most you know, really the biggest
distinctions that they're going to learn, and it's shifting their
mindset from what I call the repair mentality to the
care mentality. Okay, so from repair to care to self care.
(13:42):
So the repair mentality is when you're always living in
the short term and chasing after fast results without weighing
the costs of the damage that it does in the future.
So you're sacrificing your health or your happiness for results.
And it's basically like putting band aids on top of
the bigger problem. And then the bigger problem just gets worse.
And so switching from the repair mentality to the care
(14:06):
mentality where you and your body are a team and
partners in crime for the rest of your life. And
so it's a matter of like, Okay, I need to
learn how to take care of my mind, my brain,
my body, because I only have one. And here's the thing, like,
you want short term results, but not at the expense
of your health, or your well being or your happiness, right,
(14:26):
And that's where most women never learned how to eat
to take care of themselves. They learned how to count food,
or how to measure or how to portion control. They
never learned how to let food just be food and
eat with freedom and choice and yes, pleasure too, because
you know how I say, if love and warm chocolate
chip cookies is wrong, I don't want you to be right.
But most women never learn that, right. It was always
(14:49):
this kind of disciplinarian kind of relationship with food, and
most women never learned how to take care of their bodies,
like they learned how to force themselves to exercise, or
how to muddle through something till the minute hand reached
a certain number on the clock and they were done.
Or you know, how to hate their bodies in the mirror,
or how to regiment themselves or punish themselves or talk
(15:09):
themselves into doing things that they absolutely hated because they
thought they should. Or maybe if you're like me, like
you learned how to hide your body or hide your
true desires for having joy and fun and connection, like
I know, for me, I just pretended like I didn't
even care anymore. I was like, oh, it's fine, like
this is just how it is. But deep down I
really did care. And so most women never learn how
(15:30):
to go meet their body again and to go experiment
and be a kid again and feel like a woman
and play and experiment and just like move their bodies
in a way that gets them to meet their body
again and let their body be whatever it is and
meet your body there, but without all of that shame
and self rejection and criticism. And most women never learn
(15:52):
how to live with freedom and peace of mind, like
they learn how to put their life on hold for
their goals, or how to wait until they're skinnier or
fitter or richer, until they get air quotes there to
do what they want to do and eat what they
want to eat and be who they want to be
and feel how they want to feel, and they never
learned how to live in the right now without shame
(16:13):
of their past or fear of what will happen in
the future. I mean, like really living in the moment.
But also most women I talk to never learned how
to accept that it won't happen overnight, that it is
a journey, it is a process, and it definitely definitely
won't look or play out as they originally imagine, Like
it's definitely not linear. But here's what I can assure you.
(16:34):
If you essentially start over and grow it from the
ground up. And when I say it, it's like in
your brain, it's in your head, it's in your heart.
Grow it from the ground up. And if if you
start at the roots, like we talked about in the
first couple of episodes of the series, and nurture your
brain and feed your brain and metaphorically water your brain,
it will grow and it will flourish, and you'll end
(16:56):
up with this beautiful, boundless can always count on it
kind of homegrown love. But a lot of women they
don't do that. They get caught up just focusing on
the physical side of things, and they leave out the
brain and the nervous system and neglect the mental, emotional,
spiritual side of it completely. And so not only does
(17:16):
this leave yourself image really susceptible and vulnerable, but it
also leaves a huge opportunity on the table because if
you understand your three dimensional brain, it then becomes super
simple to influence it. But again, you've got to make
that switch. Okay, And as you're now learning, health is
this three dimensional conversation. It's physical, it's mental, it's social,
(17:36):
it's emotional, it's spiritual, right, and leaving any one of
those off the table when we talk about your health
and your well being and your happiness and really your
winning game plan, that's a recipe for disaster. And that's
why your winning game plan has to account for all
of you. And so now when we're doing that, and
(17:57):
when we're in that kind of framework, the conversation then
becos Okay, so what do I need physically to get
and stay healthy? And what do I need mentally emotionally
to get and stay healthy? And what do I need
socially and spiritually to get and stay healthy? And of
course we've got to redefine health. But that's why the
biggest mindset shift of all that I want you to
(18:18):
make is really from this repair mentality to the care mentality,
where again that repair mentality is you know, your body
is something that's broken and it needs to be fixed
or repaired. It's like a burden or a stress or
a worry. To the care mentality, where you and your
body are a team and partners in crime for the
rest of your life. So it's like, Okay, I might
(18:39):
as well learn how to take care of my body
because I only have one. It's a big distinction. The
repair mentality is saying like, Okay, I have a body
and a brain and a heart that always feels weighed
down and bogged down and stress and it's always in
that survival mode versus care mentality is a brain and
a body and a heart that feels light and peaceful
(18:59):
and stress for and makes you feel better and better
each day, like you can actually thrive. It's the difference
between always fighting to move away from pain and your
body and always being in fight or flight versus moving
towards safety and peace of mind. It's the difference between
always feeling like you're trying to repair damages versus create
(19:19):
the prevention in the cure. And it's the difference between
always reacting and feeling like you're being caused by your
body to responding and being the cause of your body.
That repair mentality is always looking to someone else versus
the care mentality is learning how yourself and asking God
(19:39):
to meet you there. The repair mentality is that short term,
you know, immediate gratification trap versus that long term just
do it once and have it forever self care mentality.
The repair mentality is when you're mindful and it's at
your pace and it doesn't feel out of control, it
feels calm. But also it's the difference between like always
(20:00):
needing someone else or like dependent or code dependent on
someone else, like you need those drip feeds of motivation
from somebody else, versus like, no, you're the pilot and
you're the driver and you've been taught how to fish
and you have your biggest superpower, which is got on
your side. And it's the difference between this journey, like
getting your health back, being a punishment or a burden
(20:21):
or a toll or a nuisance or a worry, versus like, no,
it's a gift, but it's also your responsibility and yours alone,
because no one will do it for you, you know.
And that repair mentality is like, Okay, I'm going to
focus on it when it's bothering me, or when it's
upset or heard or I don't like it, versus like, no,
I have a body in a brain twenty four hours
(20:42):
a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty
five days a year, three hundred and sixty six. I'll
leave your right. But this is the difference, right, and
I get it. This is not what you learned.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
The world is trying to seduce you into staying stuck
in the repair mentality, always living in the short term,
fast results without weighing the costs of the damage that
it does in the future, and sacrificing your health or
your happiness for quick results that you inevitably have to
give back. Instead of the care mentality, where again you
(21:13):
and your body are a team and your partners in
crime for the rest of your life, and you learn
to take care of your mind and brain and body
because you only have one. And here's the thing, like, yes,
you want short term results, but I promise you not
at the expense of your health or well being. Or
your happiness. And this feels like the perfect time to
bring in this scripture because I feel like it's one
(21:35):
of the most common ones that I hear from my
clients that it feels a bit like a disconnect because
they logically understand it, but when you've lived in the
weight loss mentality and the repair mentality for so long
a lot of times that it can feel disconnecting, like
where maybe you know it logically, but you don't know
it know it, and it hasn't seeped into your bones,
(21:55):
or you don't know how to live it. And it's
from First Corinthians six nineteen through twenty, and it's says,
or do you not know that your body is a
temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have
from God. You are not your own, for you were
bought with a price, So glorify God in your body.
This one from one Corinthians three sixteen says do you
(22:17):
not know that you are God's temple and that God's
Spirit dwells in you. If anyone destroys God's temple, God
will destroy him, For God's temple is holy and you
are that temple. And so again this is probably one
of the most famous scriptures, especially the first one. But
it's likely inn I know my body's a holy temple,
(22:39):
but I'm not living it. And that's why. Like when
you are living in that constant repair mode and trading
in and really sacrificing your health and happiness for fast
results without weighing the damage that it does in the future,
this is destroying God's temple. And this is not glorifying
your body. It's it's really, you know, chasing skinny, or
it's chasing the scale, or it's chasing the idol of
(23:01):
weight loss. And by extension, it keeps you from teaching
your brain what it needs to learn, how to take
care of it and honor it. And I know that
you know that your body is a temple of the
Holy Spirit, but are you treating it as such. I'll
remind you what God's word says in Romans twelve two.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed
(23:24):
by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you
may discern what is the will of God, what is
good and acceptable and perfect. And so this is where
I'm inviting you to not go down the path of
the conventional wisdom or worldly ways like renew your mind,
discern what is the will of God? And I truly
(23:45):
believe God wants you to be of sound mind and
health in body, mind and spirit. And that is the
difference between you continuing down the road of the repair
mentality versus renewing your mind and taking on the self
care or care mentality. And the truth is is if
all you take away from this episode is that distinction,
(24:07):
that distinction between repair and care could very well change
your life. But of course we won't end there because
you definitely, definitely have to earn back your own trust.
Because think about it too. Have you ever gone to
start a new plan or program? You know, most likely
on a Monday, because Mondays are like that, Okay, I'm
gonna start over on Monday Days. And you know, on
the surface, you are gung ho, you are ready to
(24:28):
take it by the reins. You're so committed, you're hoping,
let's be honest, you're secretly praying that this time really
is different and that this will be, you know, the
thing that changes everything for you. But secretly, in the
back of your mind, you're waiting for it to fail.
Maybe you're even outright expecting it to fail because you
know in your heart of hearts that even though the
(24:50):
plan or the program itself might be different, you know
that deep down you haven't changed, and that you haven't
gotten your mind and your head and your brain and
your heart aligned in a way that would cause things
to be different. And so one of the biggest struggles
that my stressless eating clients have when they come to
me is the inner chatter and the internal self talk
(25:10):
of what my clients would call self sabotage, but I
call them the never gonna inner voices, as in, you're
never gonna do this, You're never gonna have that. And
it's those voices that sabotage you before you even begin,
like they're you're never gonna get there, like what makes
you think this time will be different? Or you know
you're never gonna stick with this long term, like you
(25:31):
know how your story ends, or you're never actually gonna
get past this, like just face it, you're gonna be
dealing with this the rest of your life, or those
those voices when you start something new, like you're not
gonna see this through. You're never gonna see it through.
This is just gonna be one more thing that you
start and don't finish, so why bother? And the most
common one I hear, honestly is what if I'm the
(25:52):
one person this doesn't work for because I'm too broken,
I'm too messed up, I'm too far gone, I'm too whatever,
and I'm never gonna find anything that way works. And
so that's what I call the never gonna in our voices.
And this is, in my opinion, one of the biggest
things that needs to be addressed in our self image
or else it will become this self fulfilling prophecy. And
(26:13):
so your voices might have a different name or a
different face, but if you're anything like myself or the
women I work with, you too have probably done your
share of trying to outdiet those voices or outmotivate them,
out smart them, out willpower them. And unfortunately, though, like
that's the part that's not working. And I can promise
you will never work because this is the part of
(26:34):
your struggle that again, it's not a diet or food problem,
and it's not a motivation or self sabotage problem, even
if it feels like one, and it's not because you
are indeed destined to never gonna your life away it
is a thinking problem, and it's a brain problem, and
it's a self image thing. And I put it specifically
in the category of what I would consider a self
(26:55):
esteem problem, but not in the way that most people
think about self esteem. I know, I used to think
that self esteem was a matter of self confidence, But
what I've come to discover is that in reality, self
esteem is really the no like trust factor of yourself,
like how much do you know yourself? How much do
you like yourself? And then the big one, how much
do you trust yourself?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Right?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And so when it comes to those never gonna inner voices,
that's gonna be the self trust factor that's working against you.
And I see it all the time. You know, women
come to me and their self esteem is totally shot,
Like time after time they've witnessed themselves, you know, starting
and stopping and starting and quitting and starting, and then
they finally say, okay, screw it. Like by the time
(27:38):
they come to me, they're at that point where they
don't believe a word they say when they say things
like Okay, this time it's going to be different, or
you know, this time, I'm for real, because in reality,
they've witnessed themselves time after time, making promises to themselves
that they either don't keep, or can't keep, or just
don't even want to keep. And so, not only do
(28:00):
they not believe a word they say when they make
promises to themselves that you know, this time it's going
to be different, but on top of that, they believe
themselves less and less every single time they go to
make a new promise or a new commitment or a
new declaration. And basically what happens is their self esteem
bank account stays chronically overdrawn, right because they're witnessing themselves
(28:22):
not follow through. And so again, this isn't a diet
or food problem. It's not about motivation or self sabotage.
It is about self esteem and self trust. But that's
actually a great problem to have, because the great thing
about that is that addressing your self esteem and the
self trust factor of your self image, it's totally treatable,
(28:43):
it's totally changeable, and it's something that you can transform
almost immediately with the right strategies and the right tools.
But unfortunately, you know, most women don't do this, like
they simply commit to the next diet, the next plan,
the next program, and the next you know, shidy short
term solution or band aid, and they never address the
real problem, and they never address all the stuff that's
(29:06):
bogging them down or bringing them down and weighing them down.
And again, that is the weight of the weight that
we have been talking about these past few weeks. But
in order to change this, we've got to talk about
why this keeps happening. And so I found that it
usually actually falls into the following categories. I've found that
(29:33):
it usually actually falls into the following categories. So the
first category is you're getting smarter. Right, your brain is
getting smarter, And after attempting one unsustainable, restriction driven plan
after another, it's only logical to assume that will power
and discipline won't just magically show up for you this
time around anymore than it did like the last time
(29:54):
at least right, and that if things play out the
way they usually do, it is safe to assume that
this new play won't work either. It's actually smart of
you to make this assumption, and nine times out of
ten you would be right. Category two is your brain
gets smarter. So, yes, you're getting smarter because you know,
but also your brain itself is getting smarter, and this
(30:14):
is a brain thing, and you can't outsmart your brain.
And without getting too geeky, it's helpful to know that
short term habits, in long term habits, like the ones
that you know you always have them, they actually become
a habit in your brain. Kind of habits. They live
in two separate parts of your brain. And so your
long term brain is driven by ease and pleasure. And
(30:35):
when your brain experiences the opposite of those two things,
like you know, the resistance or the force, or the
persuasion or the constant hunger that comes alongside diets and restriction,
it essentially says, Okay, don't worry, brain, we don't have
to move this thing over to the long term part
of our brain because they're not going to be doing
that very long. And you know, nine times out of
ten it would be right. Category three is your heart
(30:58):
and your soul and your in tuition keep getting more
tuned in. So let's be honest. This whole food and
body and self acceptance journey, it is not a rational one, right.
It is very emotional. It tugs at your heart strings,
it nags at your spirit. And it's rare that I
speak with a woman who doesn't know that her problem
is not going to be solved with a diet. And
(31:21):
you can't logic and reason your way through an emotional
problem otherwise you'll always be simply addressing the effects. And
as we've talked about before, a lot of those ways
of addressing the problem, you know, dieting, restriction, control, all
the things, it actually makes it all worse. And if
you're like me and most people that I know, when
you get truly and painfully honest with yourself, your heart
(31:44):
and soul and spirit knows that a diet won't cut
it either, and that you need to take a different
approach and you need something more. And nine times out
of ten you would be right. Okay, So how do
you actually heal it? Well, let's actually let's talk about that.
So the way I see it, there's a few layers
to this, And keep in mind, this is not something
that happens overnight. I actually, you know, walk my clients
(32:07):
through an entire sixteen week process to really help them
establish a new relationship with themselves, a new relationship with
food in their body. But if I were to bottom
line it, I would say this, So, yeah, first you
need a better strategy like we talked about, right, a
winning game plan rooted in the care mentality, not the
repair mentality, because remember, like your brain is failing, not
(32:29):
because it's actually failing, but because it's playing a losing
game that you'll never actually be able to win. Okay.
And so if you are using a strategy that is
founded in restriction or deprivation or punishment, or just persuading
yourself to do or eat or move in a certain
way that you don't enjoy or that you can't possibly
sustain long term, or if you're using a strategy that
(32:50):
causes you to spend an exorbitant amount of time and
energy and heart and soul thinking about food and your
body and your weight when all you really want to
do is think about it last stop thinking about it.
Or if you're using a strategy that's getting harder the
more you practice it, and you're getting or set it
the more you practice it, and that's really what the
diet mentality and the repair mentality does and how it
(33:12):
impacts you, like you'll never get good at it, then
your strategy is a big part of the problem. Okay.
And this is where I have to remind you again,
like you can't out diet a bad strategy, and you
can't out mindset a bad strategy. And if you have
a tendency to start things and stop them, what if
it's not because there's something wrong with you, right, What
if it's because it's just a bad strategy for you,
(33:35):
or perhaps it's a broken model altogether, one that I
guarantee even the most willpower driven woman couldn't sustain. So
that's the first part of the answer. And it's simple,
not easy, because the world is obviously throwing more, you know,
short term band aids at you. But the simple answer
is you need a better strategy. But the other side
of it is is that you need new stories and beliefs.
(33:57):
Because again, I could straight up give you the stressless
strategy that I teach my clients. But if we don't
go identify the weeds in the garden of your mind
that are causing you to not finish what you start
and feel like a failure and think you're a self sabotager,
or just simply those thoughts that are causing you to
think and feel and act and behave the way that
you are, they don't just go away on their own,
(34:19):
and you can't outdiet and outsmart and outperform those beliefs either.
And that's why it's got to be both. So when
I say both, it's like you need a new strategy
so that the food and body side of things is
simple and stressless and sustainable. And the key word here
is sustainable. Where you learn a new language and a
new paradigm one time, but it's something you practice for
(34:40):
the rest of your life. And as you practice it more,
you get better at it, and it gets easier so
that you don't have to practice it as much and
it just becomes who you are versus Again, Dieting just
gets harder the more you practice it, and you never
get good out of You actually get worse at at
the more you practice it. You just never get good
at those things.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
But we I've also talked about a lot, and we
went deep in part three of the series. You've got
to step into the stories and the self image and
the identity to actually make that happen. Like that's what
I mean when I say it's got to be both.
And I see women all the time, you know, just
taking it on a new tactic, but it's the same
strategy or it's a new diet and it's got a
(35:21):
new face and a new name, but it's really just
more of the same, only this time maybe it's focusing
on calories and not carbs, or it's focusing on fat
grams or times of the day or macros or whatever
it is. And so again, using a new tactic, but
the same strategy will create more of the same problem.
And then the big one that women skip over is
the self image thing, because again it's I know it's
(35:43):
not sexy, right, but also if you're constantly telling yourself
that you're a self sabotage or weak willed or a failure,
it's going to become a self fulfilling prophecy if you
don't address that, and that's what you'll step into, especially
if you have that kind of self talk kind of
fired and wired into your relationship with food in your body.
And please, no, I'm not trying to sound all doom
(36:04):
and gloom, but that's the recipe for a disaster and
a spiral that will keep repeating itself until you go
heal it. Okay, But when you do the work and
you actually earn back your own trust and you become
reliable to yourself and your word is no longer this
negotiable thing. It's crazy because now everything works and every
(36:25):
plan of action becomes actionable, and everything just begins to flow.
And that's because you start working, and because you become
the cause of the action, and because you begin to flow.
And I promise you this, this kind of transformation cannot
be found in another diet or plan or program because
those things are not the problem. Like I mean, this
(36:46):
was so much love. You're the problem, right, but by goala,
you are the beautiful solution. And wow, what an opportunity
that is. Because God wants to meet you there. When
you start saying, okay, God, I'm ready to take responsibility,
I'm ready to use my free will, I'm telling you
God will show up for you. Because again I'll say this,
you know, God did not design us to have such
(37:08):
a toxic relationship with food and our bodies. But that's
also why we have one more chain that we need
to break and the last weight of the weight to ditch,
which is the weight of feeling alone or trying to
do it all alone, or trying to save yourself. And
that's where I'll invite you into this idea that you
can't see what you can't see, so you might need
(37:30):
to borrow someone else's brain. And that's literally what I
do with my clients. I say, hey, borrow my brain,
borrow my beliefs, while we go build your own brain
and beliefs. But what I really want to invite you
into is this, Like what if this was the perfect
place to invite God into this and borrow God's belief
and God's view of you. I mean, like, what if
(37:50):
you are broken like we all are, and you need
a savior? Like this is honestly one of the hardest
things for me to accept and grasp. But like once
I did, oh wow, like it changed everything. In Romans
three twenty three, it says, for all have sinned and
fall short of the glory of God, we all need help.
(38:10):
Now just hear me out for a minute on something
else too, because the number one thing I hear from
the women that I talk to is leanne, I know
what to do, but I just can't get myself to
do it. And that's where that makes us think we
don't need help. And that's where I want to invite
you into another possibility, which is what if you actually
don't know what to do? And what if you learned
(38:32):
what I learned, which is that eat less, move more,
avoid that restrict that control, that kind of weight loss
repair mentality that is not only no way to live
and something the most willpower driven woman couldn't sustain. But
as you're now learning, it doesn't even work. And the
truth is that if you did know what to do,
(38:53):
you would be doing that by now, right, And I mean,
this was so much love. But what if you actually
don't know what to do? And what if you never
actually learn a long term, sustainable way of thinking, And
what if you never learned how to have a stressless
relationship with food, one where you don't have to think
about it all the time and food can just be food.
(39:14):
And what if you never learned how to truly love
yourself like warts and all, as Jesus loves you and
as God sees you. That's why I strongly urge you
to not do this alone, because the solution is in
your blind spot, and you're gonna need help seeing what
you can't see. And look, you know, I've seen so
many women try to heal this on their own or
(39:36):
think that they're weak if they need help. And if
you've spent years trying to do this on your own,
and it hasn't been working. This is why, Like, this
is a big thing that you've got to get the
support that you need. Like it's not the kind of
thing that you can just do on your own. And
I mean this with so much love, but like, this
is your health, this is your life, this is what's
at stake. And if you've been struggling with this for years,
(39:58):
which you know, if you're listening to this you probably have,
it's not going to go away on its own. And
it actually does get worse if you don't address it,
because the solution is living inside of your blind spot.
And so yes, you need to retrain your brain. But
what if you needed to also surrender this over to God?
Like what if you needed a savior? What if you
(40:20):
couldn't do this on your own? And honestly, do you
even want to? And I hear women say all the time,
but Leanne, I gave this over to God, and I
asked him to take away this burden from me. And
again it typically means they ask God to give them
more willpower and discipline and self control so they can
keep dieting and keep restricting and keep obsessing and keep
(40:41):
going down that repair mentality road. But that's the opposite
of what I'm saying. Like, what I'm saying is to
invite God into the conversation of you actually healing your
relationship with food and your body, and healing your self
image and identity and becoming the version of yourself that
no longer rely on her old coping mechanisms or feeling
(41:03):
like she's addicted to food or sugar, and become a
new creation so that you can truly be healthy mind, body,
and soul. And so can you see how different that
is than asking God to help you lose weight or
have more willpower to diet so that you can go
lose weight. Right, And again, this idea of inviting God
into the conversation and everything that we've talked about today
(41:25):
and over the last few weeks, that is something that
not only have most women never done in general, but
they've never invited God to help them heal the true
deeper problem. And there is nothing wrong with saying like, hey,
I need help, And there's nothing wrong with saying, hey, God,
I don't want to do this on my own anymore,
so that you can really address what's keeping you stock
(41:47):
and end the war and truly begin your journey of healing.
And as always, everything I share is simply an invitation
without expectation, to just try on a new story and
a new perspective and see what meets you where you
are in your own journey. This is a massive conversation
and a lot of women have a really complicated relationship
(42:10):
with food and their body, and that's why this entire
series was really about inviting you into a conversation where
you can explore these massive topics but from a place
of no fluff and truly addressing the problem from its roots,
but also from a place of love and grace and compassion.
And this is hopefully just the beginning of these powerful
(42:32):
conversations that if you continue to explore, can and will
transform your entire being. And I truly mean that from
my own experiences and witnessing hundreds of other women and
teens walk themselves through that themselves and with God and
inviting God into the conversation. But before we wrap, I
(42:53):
want to revisit some scripture that we looked at a
few weeks ago that is such a beautiful it's kind
of like a beautiful bow to wrap around this entire
series and it's from Colossians three eight through ten, where
it says you're done with that old life. It's like
a filthy set of ill fitting clothes that you've stripped
off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in
(43:14):
a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of
life is custom made by the Creator with his label
on it. And that sums up exactly what I mean
by ditching the repair mentality and stepping into new definitions
of health, and of course recreating your self image and identity,
and renewing your mind by rewriting and rewiring your brain.
(43:38):
But this time, just like the scripture says, custom made
by the Creator with his label on it. Because there
is so much more available to you than living in
a food and a body in a shame prison. And
that is all I want for you. I just want
you to be free. And so now you understand why
(43:59):
it is so incredibly powerful and relevant to invite God
into this conversation from day one, Because if you're wondering
what's God got to do with your relationship with food
and your body, I am here to tell you everything,
everything you know and everything you didn't know you didn't know.
(44:20):
That's it for today's episode of the What's God Got
to Do With It? And the Outweigh podcast crossover. Thanks
for tuning in, and if you want to learn more
about the work that I do or catch either of
the podcasts on a regular basis, there's a couple of
ways you can do that. First off, if you want
to learn how to turn off the part of your
brain that's obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight
(44:41):
and rewire your own brain for peace and freedom, then
head on over to Stresslessseeating dot com and sign up
to watch the Stressless Eating sneak preview, where I've literally
peeled the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy
I teach my clients to heal themselves from the all
or nothing die mentality for good, but without restricting themselves,
(45:03):
punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use
words like macros, low carb or calorie burn. It's there
for you to access over at Stressless Eating dot com
and if you're listening to this series over on What's
God Got to Do with It? I also co host
the Outweigh podcast with radio personality Amy Brown, where we
help women break themselves out of the food and body prison,
(45:26):
end the dieting madness, and take control of their health
for good, but without all that restriction, obsession, and shame,
and without dragging it out for years to address it.
It's called Outweigh and you can find it wherever podcasts
are streamed. And if you're listening to this crossover series
on Outweigh, check out my other podcast called What's God
(45:47):
Got to Do With It? Where I talk about all
this self image and body image stuff but from the
perspective of where brain science, intersex faith. It's called What's
God Got to Do with It? And you can access
it on iHeart or wherever you get your podcasts. So
that's it for this episode of the What's God Got
to Do With It and the Outweigh podcast crossover series.
(46:08):
I'm your host, Leanne Ellington, and I'm so grateful to
walk alongside you on this beautiful journey. So thank you
so much for listening, and I hope you got whatever
you needed to get from it. Bye. For now, we'll
be back with more What's God Got to Do with It?
But in the meantime, I would definitely love to hear
from you, so just tell me where you are in
(46:28):
your story. Or maybe what questions you have, like where
do you feel you need clarity or support or wisdom
in your own journey. I definitely want to hear from you,
So head on over to What's God Got to Do
with It? Dot com and scroll down to the form
to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback, and you
can do that instantly. So What's God Got to Do
(46:50):
with It? Dot com You'll find all the ways to
do that. And if you like this podcast and want
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drop every single Tuesday, and while you're there, be sure
to rate and review to show your support. It really
(47:11):
means so much. What's God Got to Do With It
is an iHeartRadio podcast on the Amy Brown Podcast Network.
It's written and hosted by me Leanne Ellington, executive produced
by Elizabeth Fozzio, post production and editing by Houston Tilley,
and original music written by Cheryl Stark and produced by
Adam Stark