July 10, 2021 • 33 mins
Post partum real talk, buying clothes that fit you now, and the journey of sharing your body and body image online.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't lend my body out out everything that I'm made.
DOT won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning
to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I
feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
beautiful and I will always out way if you feel it.
(00:24):
With your hays in the air, She'll love to the
poet there say goode day and time did you and
die out? Welcome back to La everyone. We've got myself,
We've got Amy, and we've got Chelsea Culbertson. Welcome Chelsea. Hi,
so happy to be here. It's possible you already follow
(00:46):
Chelsea on Instagram. She's choosing Chelsea will put her information
below just in case you don't. But you all have
been asking for somebody to come on and talk about
the postpartum experience. And who better or than freshly in
that postpartum experience than Chelsea. Chelsea shares it all on
social media, and I think you just do a really
(01:07):
good job of being you, which is kind of hard
to do on social media when especially in the world
that can you know, pick you apart. So congratulations and
we can't wait to hear about how you're doing. Thank
you thank you so much. That's what a great introduction.
And yeah, I mean it's hard to be you, but
also I don't know how to not be, so sometimes
(01:27):
it feels like I just don't have a filter. But
that's fine. Well you've been doing it just like that
for years and going through your big life transitions has
been interesting. So you have two daughters now, yes, my
older daughters twelve. I had her when I was seventeen,
so a baby, having a baby, and I just had
my newborn at the end of March and she's almost
(01:50):
three months, so yeah, twelve year age gaps. It's literally
like starting all over again. Everything feels brand new, including
the postpartum experience and assume, oh yeah, it's such a blur.
And I only remember like the recovery part from the
being postpartum with my first and I just remember being
(02:13):
like I didn't know I was gonna like bleed for that,
Like you just don't You're not taught all this stuff,
and so much was like a surprise to me. I
was like, wait, it's gonna sting horribly when I pe
for the next like however many weeks because of who
knows what happened down below and uh so, yeah, but now, yeah,
it's so much more. It feels like it's hard to
(02:36):
even put it into words, but it's a whole new experience.
And you've been so proactive about body image over the
last I don't know, we've been following each other for
many years. I imagine when you were seventeen, your body
image woes were different than your body image woes now
twelve years later after your second Or is it the
(02:57):
same despite the amount of work that you put into
you know, loving yourself. No, it's so different. And just
for like a little bit of background, my my Instagram
page started as like a fitness account and like a
weight loss account, and then as I went through that journey,
I transitioned into more of you know, self love, body acceptance,
(03:18):
body confidence, trying to find that happy middle ground. And
then I transcentioned this new postpartument period. And when I
was seventeen, I had always been like a bigger girl.
I carried a lot more weight. I was always very chubby,
and since I was seventeen, I actually spent a majority
of my pregnancy hiding my pregnancy. I didn't even tell
(03:42):
my mom or anyone in my family. I was pregnant
until I was six and a half months pregnant, so
I wasn't really focusing on my body at all except
for just trying to like hide it, and I was
able to mask it pretty well because I was a
little bigger. And then after that, I wasn't really looking
at my body. I wasn't taking a lot of pictures,
(04:02):
I wasn't focusing on my body very much at all.
But then I continued to just gain so much weight
after that pregnancy because I kind of kept eating as
if I was pregnant still, so that started my whole
weight loss journey after gaining a ton of weight from that.
But this time around, I've had so much more of
a focus on my body the entire time because I'm
(04:26):
always taking pictures, I'm showing up online, I'm sharing about
my body image and trying to be accepting of my body.
And it's so much more like in the field of
vision when it's become part of my brand and what
I talk about. And then that opens me up to
be more self critical about my my postpartum body because
(04:47):
I can really see the difference between what it looks
like now and what it looks like before I got pregnant,
and then you know, add into the fact that a
pandemic hit months before I got pregnan in and not
throw things through a loop with my body too. So
it's been interesting to see the least. You put up
a recent post on Instagram and this is the caption
(05:09):
that was with it. What I hear and you quoted
things you hear from people. You look amazing, you don't
even look like you had a baby. I wish I
look like that postpartum breastfeeding will have you losing all
that extra weight in no time. And then you wrote
the reality, I don't feel amazing. I do look like
I just had a baby. You see this hair and
(05:30):
the bags under my eyes? Right? I wish I look
like a lot of people postpartum. But do I really
not so much? Do I want to be them? Nope?
Is it weight loss my goal of breastfeeding? No? And
does it always help you lose weight? Also no. Remember
we don't always see the full picture. Everything has so
much more depth to it than what you see on
the outside. I chose this post to bring up I
(05:51):
always like to scroll through people's instagrams and see if
I can paint a picture of kind of who the
person is, what they're about with their Instagram feed has
on there, and you know made me think of something
Lisa and I tried to concentrate on here in our
outweigh family is like, first of all, just commenting on
people's bodies in general. So like when when people have
(06:11):
said things to you, maybe even while you were pregnant
and postpartum, how do you handle that, Like if someone says, oh,
breastfeeding will have you lose that weight in no time,
Like do you just kind of let that go or
is it a time to maybe help educate them on
commenting about people's bodies or how do you handle that personally?
(06:34):
It's crazy because I think during pregnancy and maybe at
the beginning of my postpartum journey, that would give me
a little grain of hope because you know, we still
have that ingrained in us, like, oh, having that weight
loss would be great, Like I would love to get
you know, a little bit of my body back as
as it was, so that old part of your brain
(06:54):
is like, oh, hopefulness. But then the reality sets in
when you realize that not only do a lot of
people not lose weight by breastfeeding, but a lot of
them gain weight from breastfeeding because you're having to nurture
your body so much more to help with the milk
production for the baby, which I didn't realize how common
(07:16):
this was until actually I posted that, and I scrolled
through all the comments, and I saw how many women
were like, I can't stand when I hear that, because
it's not true. It wasn't true for me. I gained
weight while breastfeeding, and it hurts to hear that. And
so now when it comes up, I do try to,
you know, gently educate and be like, you know, that's
(07:36):
actually not true. A lot of women don't lose weight
by breastfeeding, or the opposite happened, so it's not really true.
I love that when you said that that you had
to nurture your body more. I think that's an important
way to describe it, because some people are like they
might have in their head like oh, I can't stop eating,
I'm just eating this or craving this or craving that.
(07:57):
But really, when it comes down to your orchering your
body and giving it the calories that it needs to
produce the milk and feed another life, yeah, exactly. As
a nurse and somebody who at least for the last
few years. I know your journey has transitioned a bit
from where it started, which is natural. You're somebody that
fights diet culture every day by showing up and sharing
(08:21):
your story. How do you fight the culture of people saying, oh,
you should breastfeed because you'll lose weight. Like, let's just
say that was a fact, which we now know it's
not right. But let's just say every time every woman
that breastfeed loses weight. How do we get those two
apart so that women want to breastfeed and get the
(08:42):
joys of breastfeeding, assuming it's joyful. I don't know, but
you know, I'm sure it comes with lots of difficulty
as well. But how can we separate those two in
conversation and go back to what breastfeeding is really about? Yeah?
I think it ultimately comes down to what is the
point of breastfeeding and the point of breastfeeding how absolutely
nothing to do with your weight. Breastfeeding is to feed
(09:05):
your baby, so your baby gains weight or your baby
is nourished. Like, that is what it comes down to,
And I think people often forget that with that statement
because we're just so ingrained to feel like we need
to bounce back, we need to get our body back,
and so they're like, this can help, this will do it,
(09:26):
and they say it as like, I don't know, to
make you feel good or to keep you hopeful. It's
it's very bizarre, and I'm like, who planting that idea
and like made that something that everyone things happens. Were
they trying to get more people to breastfeed from that?
I just don't understand. I mean, I'm sitting here starting
to wonder if that was something that was planted just
(09:48):
to yeah, make women feel better about doing it, or
it is like a goal to like make it happen
so that in their head they're like, Okay, I'm doing this,
I'm doing this. And it's almost like sometimes I've I've
never been praying in it. So I'm just speaking here.
I do have two children that they're adopted, and I'm
trying to think, like, shouldn't the real thing be if
(10:09):
you do choose to breastfeed. Some people may not, which
is totally their choice, but shouldn't the real focus be, Oh,
I'm I can't wait to breastfeed so that I can
have that crazy connection with my child. Instead what we
have grown up hearing is, Oh, I can't wait to
breastfeed because it will help me lose a few of
these pounds, which I am appreciative of certain people in
(10:32):
the spotlight that are saying I don't want to have
my pre baby body back, Like I'm gonna stop saying
that to myself. Like Marion Morris was in the news
a couple of months ago saying, you know, admitting that
she was someone that had said, maybe not even publicly,
but to herself like I'm working to get my pre
baby body back. And she she has quite the following
(10:55):
and has so many girls that look up to her
and women that I was so thankful to hear her
post and say, yeah, I'm gonna stop saying that to myself.
And some of it, yeah, you like you have a
very online presence, so you're able to speak into people,
but sometimes it's the narrative that we have quietly in
our head, like people might be thinking, oh, I need
(11:16):
to get my my pre baby body back, And thank
you for being part of helping change that narrative. And
and it's hard because I'm myself, I'm not comfortable in
my new postpartum body. It feels very strange. I feel
disconnected a little bit. It's starting to be better now,
but it's this whole new person. It's like you birth
(11:39):
of baby, and you're getting to know this baby that
grew inside you for nine months, and you're able to
get excited about the changes happening in your body through
that nine months because you're seeing the growth of your
baby happen. But then you have this new baby who
you just love and adore. But then you kind of
birth this new you at the same time mine that
(12:00):
you're trying to get to know that you're not used
to your clothes don't fit, things, just don't feel comfortable.
Add onto the fact that you you can't work out,
you are probably eating differently than you were before, definitely
more sporadically. You're you're probably snacking, eating less, eating more,
doing whatever you can. Basically you're in survival mode at first,
(12:23):
and you're probably not getting as much sunshine. Just so
many changes, so many changes are happening that are impacting
not only your physical appearance, but how you feel internally.
That also affects your body image. I don't know about you,
but it doesn't matter how I actually look if I'm
not moving my body, eating well in a way that
(12:46):
makes me feel good, getting some decent sunshine, I feel
like crap. And if I feel like crap, I look
in the mirror. It doesn't matter if I look great,
quote unquote great or what not. I'd be like, Oh,
my body not a fan right now. It's not a
fan because I don't feel good inside. And I think
that that's something that's so many new moms struggle with,
(13:07):
where they just don't feel good because of all these
new elements, and it often is reflected in their body
image because that's the easiest thing they can pinpoint. Because
they look in the mirror and they don't look the same,
They don't look like they used to. They see a
stranger looking back at them. They're exhausted, they have this
new life and and it's hard. And so then you
(13:29):
have that little voice in the back of your head
like things would be so much easier if at least
my body was what it used to be. Things would
be so much easier if I could just fit into
my clothes again, and and if something couldn't be normal again.
And so it is this very difficult, delicate balance of
I want to feel good and I want to look
(13:51):
a certain way because that's how I'm comfortable, and then
trying to navigate. Let's break that down, what's going on?
Do I really want to look that way? Do I
need something else? It's very complicated and complex, and I'm
trying to figure it out myself because I wasn't super
comfortable in my body, but for many of those reasons,
(14:12):
because I wasn't moving, I wasn't eating properly, and I
wasn't getting outside, and I just felt like crap. It's
so interesting because it's such a natural process for a woman.
I'm putting that in air quotes so everyone could hear
that I'm doing that. But I never realized how disregulating
those first few weeks are. When you said, you know,
a new mom is exhausted. She says no sleep, She
(14:35):
has probably no access to nourishing meals because that takes time,
you know, no access to sunshine, and then all of
a sudden, you know, you look in the mirror and
you blame it all on the way you look when
there's so many things, like you said, components that make
you feel good. But body image is such a low
hanging fruit, the one that we're allowed to complain about
the one that we're allowed to work on. And I
(14:57):
love this post that you did about your prey Nancy clothes.
You said, I have no idea when I'll fit into
my pre pregnancy clothes or if I'll ever fit into them.
And while I could continue to wear leggings and oversized clothes,
I'm sick of not feeling cute, so I went shopping.
There's been more failures than successes. There's been a lot
of sizing up. It has not been the most fun experience.
(15:19):
But now I have some clothes that fit me as
I am now in the body that I have now,
and that feels good. I'm not saying I always love
how I look in these new clothes, but I can
be okay in them, and for now, that's enough. And
there's just so much in that post to really savor
and digest, because it, first of all, applies to all
women who are experiencing a change in their body that
(15:42):
are frustrated every time they go to try on clothing
that want to feel cute, but instead of putting on
oversized clothing because they think they shouldn't invest in something
for now, And there's nothing wrong with looking cute putting
on clothes that fit you now and being okay with
your body just as it is in this moment. So
(16:02):
I I personally just really thank you for that post too,
because I can't imagine how many women recently pregnant or
not are just like, yes, I should go get clothes
that fit me now. Maybe not an entire new wardrobe,
because I don't know where this body is going, but
I want to feel good tomorrow walking out the door. Yeah. Yeah.
And I actually I was a little heartbroken because I
(16:25):
put up a pole and I was or a little
question box, and I was like, how long did you
wait after baby to go shopping again and buy new clothes,
And the amount of responses saying, I'm a year postpartum,
I still haven't going shopping, I'm still wearing my maternity clothes,
or I'm still wearing the same leggings and baggy shirt
that I have been this whole time, and so many
(16:47):
responses like that, and you can just tell that they
just don't feel good about themselves and that they're like
afraid to go shopping, They're afraid to go try on
those new clothes, or they're holding out hope, they're waiting
they're waiting to get their body back and to fit
into their old clothes again, which, like I said, I
(17:08):
don't know if it's ever going to happen. Not only
does your body get bigger in the obvious places, but
it kind of shifts shape a little bit too, Like
you're not the same proportions that you were before, So
you're kind of having to figure out how to address
a newly proportioned body and not just a bigger body,
(17:28):
if that makes sense. So it just it made me
really sad to see how many people were just not
excited to go shopping. And I get it. It can
be scary, it could be intimidating. It's taken me a
really long time to go from trying in the target
dressing room when I try and close that don't fit me,
because for so long you try and close they don't fit,
(17:52):
you think you're the problem. You think your body is
the problem, instead of realizing that piece of clothing is
the problem. Um, I either need to find a different
piece of clothing or try on a different size in
that clothing that actually works for my body, not the
other way around. And I've now realized that I'm going
(18:13):
to have so many more failures of shopping experiences than successes.
Shopping takes so much patience. It takes going into it
knowing that, hey, a lot of this stuff is probably
not gonna fit. I'm not gonna love how it looks
on me because it's not the right piece of clothing
for me, and just saying Okay, this isn't it. Moving on,
(18:36):
Let's try the next thing until you find the thing
you love. But it's so easy to just get overwhelmed
by the negative shopping experiences that it makes you want
to avoid it completely, and then you miss out on
all these awesome pieces of clothes that might make you
feel really good because you don't want to go through it.
(18:57):
It can be such a gut wrenching experience in so
many of these places where the lighting is just extra
awful and you're like fighting with tags that are stuck
on your body because it's too small of a garment.
You know, there's just so many things that make it
really uncomfortable. But I love what you said about knowing
that you're going to have more failures than successes. Like
also just knowing that majority of the things that you
(19:18):
put on are just not gonna work and that shape shifting,
like you said, that's happening, your body is changing. Makes
it even more challenging because normally you might know that,
let's say a line dresses look good on your body, right,
and then you're walking into this store and you have
no even just being in pregnancy, like the style of dress.
I have no idea how to dress myself, And it's
just it's interesting to kind of go into it with
(19:40):
the mindset of knowing, Hey, we're gonna give this a go.
We're not going to be attached to the outcomes, and
we're just going to find things that work just for today. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
In this postpartum space for you, how have you dealt
with any or have you dealt with any internal struggles
with certain people that you follow or stuff you come
(20:02):
across on Instagram of like comparison with other people that
are postpartum. I just didn't know if you could speak
to that at all and offer encouragement to people that
may find themselves in that position, whether pregnant now or
in postpartum, or might be pregnant one day, or just
even comparison online in general, What do you do to
help protect your brain from any thoughts. Oh yeah, And
(20:27):
it's so hard because while I used to compare my
body all the time to other people that I saw online,
that hasn't necessarily been the top of mind. But I
definitely catch myself comparing myself to others with a bunch
of different other things. And I don't know how it happened,
but I have so many friends online in a similar
(20:48):
space that I am, and everyone just happened to get
pregnant at this same time and had babies all around
the same time. And it's so bizarre but also so amazing.
But then that also leaves you compare are in yourselves,
whether you know, because Instagram is a business and it
can be so hard to see, you know, engagement differences
(21:09):
and brand partnership differences and stuff like that where some
people are creating this what I think is like really
amazing content, and I'm like, how do you have the energy?
How do you have the energy? Like I can't even
get dressed today, Like how are you writing these amazing captions?
And you read a couple of good ones, I'm like, hey,
(21:31):
I have another one. Okay, I put some good stuff
out there, but for the most problem, like how are
you how are you doing this? And then I just
fall down this spiral of feeling like I'm inadequate or
feeling like I'm not good enough. And I'm sure you
must know Sarah of the Bird's Papaya. I don't know why,
(21:52):
but me and all my other friends, we we can't
help but compare ourselves to her because she's just like
this anomaly, superhuman on Instagram, and we all kind of
she's a friend of mine. I love her so much
and I look up to her. And it's hard because
we were all kind of in a similar spaces her
and then and then she exploded, and she's doing all
(22:12):
these incredible, amazing things, and it can feel like what
am I doing wrong? Or what why am I not
doing amazing things? Or why am I not as likable?
Which can be so mind boggling. And and something that
from a personal level has been a little difficult is
my my twelve girl didn't have the best bonding with
(22:34):
the baby at first. It took a really long time
for her to warm up to the baby, and from
watching Sarah and her older kids just like seemed like
they were absolutely in love with her new baby, seeing
that special relationship and bond that they were going through.
It was really hard for me when mine were not
having that same kind of bond. And so it's just
(22:55):
like stuff like that that you wouldn't think about. Are
are definitely challenges that you don't anticipate when you're just
watching people on Instagram, you know. Yeah, comparison sneaks in
in in a lot of different ways. And I will
say I have a brother who's sixteen years younger than me,
and I was really piste off when he was born,
and then I really do love him. So I will
say that good relation tips take a little bit of
(23:18):
you know, cultivation time. Yeah, and things are things that
I could talk about it now because things are much
better now, But for a while it was like, oh no,
But I think you bring up a good point that
it's just so easy to compare, even to compare to
people that you're so happy for, and especially in the
new moms space when you're so tired, but you know,
it's so hard and and you're somebody that shows up
(23:40):
for other new moms, you know, that's what your account
is about. That It's like, it's not even like you
comparing yourself to anyone else. It's about why can't I
continue to show up in the way that I used
to serve. I can personally relate to that being frustrating
from my own life experiences, and it's just so easy
to to get caught up in that. So comparison comes
(24:01):
in all different shapes and sizes, you know, so to speak.
It's not just about oh, this person bounced back, It's about, oh,
this person's brain went back to working faster than my
brain went to work back working, and that can feel
so frustrating. Oh you nailed it, you nailed it, so yeah, exactly.
I love that your Instagram description is sugar and spice
(24:23):
with a dash of sass, and that you're into realistic
wellness and some motherhood messiness. And I just think your Space,
you've done a really great job with it, and you're
giving so many of your people, your followers and hopefully
some new ones that come and follow you after today,
just that permission to to be themselves right where they are,
(24:47):
just to meet themselves right where they're at, and be
okay with that. I know, I'm super thankful for it.
I think that it takes a special type of person
to kind of show show up in all all of
their ways, and you do it so well. I mean
sometimes I'll even like I don't put probably as much
of my life on Instagram. I have other outlets where
(25:09):
people learn more about me. And I've worked in radio
for fifteen years and I'm on air, so it's it's
that's more of my space. But there is something about
having a visual with it too, and even your videos,
Like I've just watched so many of your stories and
instantly felt comforted, and I'm like, this is where it's at.
This girl's keeping it real because I've watched some mother
mothers and they are making it seem like they just
(25:30):
have it all together, and like motherhood is so easy
and simple, and I just think that you're doing it well.
So I want to say that I look up to
you just as you may look up to uh Sarah, Well,
thank you. That means a lot, and shout out to
my Instagram bio. I'm like, what's what's my point here?
(25:50):
So Amy? Can you read the other social media posts
that you liked of oh the other one that I pulled? Yes,
I can. Yeah, hopefully Chelsea is fine with us just
like reading her words back to her, But it's really
for everybody else for the world all right now. This
one is from January, and Chelsea wrote, my body was
(26:12):
the epicenter of my brand for so many years, from
building this page based on my weight lust journey to
learning to accept my body. It's always focused on my body,
explaining why it wasn't okay, explaining why it was, to
talking about why I didn't like it, how I was
learning to love it. But all roads led back to
my body being the focus, and while being okay with
(26:35):
my body and myself in general, will always be a
part of my story that I will continue exploring. It
never has and never will be the full thing. Like
we all know by now, we are so much more
than our bodies. Sometimes in this space it doesn't feel
like I can talk about anything else because that's all
I've done for so long, and it just doesn't resonate
(26:55):
as much anymore because frankly, I don't want to think
about my body day every day. It can be rather exhausting,
to be honest. So here's to a future of my
body being only part of my story and not the
sole focus. I had goose bumps while I read that
out loud, so sorry that I just yelled into the microphone,
(27:17):
But I mean that is that's the kind of content
you're going to get from ling people. I think that
was one of my favorite posts that I ever put
out there, because I felt like after saying that that
I was kind of like drawing a line in the
sand that I was moving forward with talking about my
body less. And that was really scary, actually, because then
(27:40):
I felt like I was going to be judged if
I did talk about my body, or that I was
going to have my content hyper focused on what is
she doing that or is she not? And it was
also freeing because I had been feeling that way for
a very very long time. And I know many other
people who who started out like I did with either
(28:01):
a fitness weight loss account, transition to a similar places
me and and feel very similar, but they're afraid to
integrate other different types of content because people love that.
People love to see if you talking about your body,
people sharing their cellulie and stretch marks and all that stuff.
(28:23):
They love it, and the algorithm loves it. And not
doing that, it's kind of it can hinder your brand
a little bit too, And it's scary, and I think
it's it's hard because it's so emotionally draining to have
to feel like you have to talk about that all
the time, and it can just have a really negative
(28:44):
impact on your mental health. And then, like I said,
you're you're just hyper focusing on your body, so then
you end up being more self critical. Or if you're
having a bad body image day, then you feel like
you're failing because you're talking about how you're supposed to
have good body image and it's just it's all disaster.
I think there's so much authenticity laced into that, And
in the beginning of Instagram, it was kind of like,
(29:05):
if you show your imperfections all the time, that's the
most authentic thing you can do. But like you said,
when you start to build your brand on that, but
then all of a sudden, it's like, wait, that's not
what I'm thinking about all the time, but it's what
I'm posting all the time because it's what people like.
To really go back to what you like, your journey,
your reality, which could be a funny caption. Sometimes I
(29:26):
really enjoy your short captions. You're one liners that I
think like that to me is who you are. You're
you know, you said, what was it? What was the
bio sugar and spiced with a little set. I messed
up sugar and spice and a little bits. Yeah, it's
a little bit of sass, you know when you're you're
getting it in there and you're a full person, And
it truly feels like like Amy said, like when you
(29:47):
watch your stories, it feels real seeing somebody just share
their imperfections. And I think even like really long quotes
while I'm short, resonates with each person differently from a
creator point of view, I just feel you on that
where it's like we're a well rounded human being. We
need to show all of those well rounds and not
chase the algorithm because of you know what performs well, yeah, exactly,
(30:10):
you know, you know, I know, I got you. Okay,
Well this was super super interesting. Can just to finish
off the episode, is there just one thing that you
would want a new mom to know in weeks one
through eight, You're gonna be okay, it's gonna be fine,
it's gonna be massy, it's gonna be a little hard.
(30:30):
I have a very difficult time asking for help. So
I had so many people while I was still pregnant
say I'll bring food by I'll go grocery shopping this
that there's so many offers for things before baby came,
But then baby came and crickets, and I'm not the
type of I'm not going to text you and be like, hey,
(30:51):
will you go do that thing that you said you
were gonna do like four weeks ago, because that'd be
great right about now, I'm not going to do that.
So if you can, you know, gentle reminder of those
people when they're offering ahead of time, like will you
offer that again when babies here? And I think that
would help a lot because then it's a lot easier
(31:12):
for someone be like, hey, I'm I'm running to the store.
Can I grab you something and be like yes, instead
of reaching out and asking for that help. Because while
while asking for help is great, it's really really hard
and realistically we're not going to do it. So I'd say,
definitely do that, and and just know it's a phase.
It's a phase, soak it in. It goes by so quickly,
(31:36):
and while it's one of the most challenging times, your
baby is never going to be like as squishy and
tiny and and fresh, and you only get to enjoy
that for such a short period of time that you know,
even if you're feeling a little strange in your body
and your mindsets not not its best, Just just know
(31:56):
it'll be okay and it'll pass and and soak up
all the good that you can from that that time,
because it'll be over before you know it. I love it,
and I guess I'll just piggyback off of that and
maybe gear what you said towards people that are listening
that may have a friend that's pregnant or have just
had a baby, or if they're about to to like
(32:18):
hear what Chelsea said, and make sure you're intentional about
reaching out after the baby is born. That's an excellent point.
Like maybe you could be the friend that organizes the
meal train. Maybe you could be the friend that organizes,
you know, a group text to make sure that whoever
just had a baby is taken care of for the
first couple of months. Like you know, if you have
(32:39):
a handful of friends that take two weeks out of
twelve or something, then boom, they've got some some support.
And so if if you're listening right now, instead of
the pregnant person having to maybe kind of subtly remind
friends to be there for them, like we'll just send
the reminder out to all of us, Like, Lisa is
having a baby soon, so now I'm making a mental
(33:01):
note to make sure that Lisa's okay after she goes birth.
Thank you, thank you, Chelsea. We'll put your information below
so everyone can go follow if they're not And thank
you for being such a light. And congrats on your
baby and you're growing family and it's just a beautiful
life you have. And congrats to you Lisa. I can't
(33:23):
wait to see your little baby. And thanks to be
here before you know. It's so exciting. I was so
good to talk to both of you. Thank you so
much for having me on my pleasure. Thanks, thank you,
I won't lend my body out out everything that I'm made.
DOT won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning
to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I
feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
beautiful and I will always out way if you feel it.
(00:24):
With your hays in the air, She'll love to the
poet there say goode day and time did you and
die out? Welcome back to La everyone. We've got myself,
We've got Amy, and we've got Chelsea Culbertson. Welcome Chelsea. Hi,
so happy to be here. It's possible you already follow
(00:46):
Chelsea on Instagram. She's choosing Chelsea will put her information
below just in case you don't. But you all have
been asking for somebody to come on and talk about
the postpartum experience. And who better or than freshly in
that postpartum experience than Chelsea. Chelsea shares it all on
social media, and I think you just do a really
(01:07):
good job of being you, which is kind of hard
to do on social media when especially in the world
that can you know, pick you apart. So congratulations and
we can't wait to hear about how you're doing. Thank
you thank you so much. That's what a great introduction.
And yeah, I mean it's hard to be you, but
also I don't know how to not be, so sometimes
(01:27):
it feels like I just don't have a filter. But
that's fine. Well you've been doing it just like that
for years and going through your big life transitions has
been interesting. So you have two daughters now, yes, my
older daughters twelve. I had her when I was seventeen,
so a baby, having a baby, and I just had
my newborn at the end of March and she's almost
(01:50):
three months, so yeah, twelve year age gaps. It's literally
like starting all over again. Everything feels brand new, including
the postpartum experience and assume, oh yeah, it's such a blur.
And I only remember like the recovery part from the
being postpartum with my first and I just remember being
(02:13):
like I didn't know I was gonna like bleed for that,
Like you just don't You're not taught all this stuff,
and so much was like a surprise to me. I
was like, wait, it's gonna sting horribly when I pe
for the next like however many weeks because of who
knows what happened down below and uh so, yeah, but now, yeah,
it's so much more. It feels like it's hard to
(02:36):
even put it into words, but it's a whole new experience.
And you've been so proactive about body image over the
last I don't know, we've been following each other for
many years. I imagine when you were seventeen, your body
image woes were different than your body image woes now
twelve years later after your second Or is it the
(02:57):
same despite the amount of work that you put into
you know, loving yourself. No, it's so different. And just
for like a little bit of background, my my Instagram
page started as like a fitness account and like a
weight loss account, and then as I went through that journey,
I transitioned into more of you know, self love, body acceptance,
(03:18):
body confidence, trying to find that happy middle ground. And
then I transcentioned this new postpartument period. And when I
was seventeen, I had always been like a bigger girl.
I carried a lot more weight. I was always very chubby,
and since I was seventeen, I actually spent a majority
of my pregnancy hiding my pregnancy. I didn't even tell
(03:42):
my mom or anyone in my family. I was pregnant
until I was six and a half months pregnant, so
I wasn't really focusing on my body at all except
for just trying to like hide it, and I was
able to mask it pretty well because I was a
little bigger. And then after that, I wasn't really looking
at my body. I wasn't taking a lot of pictures,
(04:02):
I wasn't focusing on my body very much at all.
But then I continued to just gain so much weight
after that pregnancy because I kind of kept eating as
if I was pregnant still, so that started my whole
weight loss journey after gaining a ton of weight from that.
But this time around, I've had so much more of
a focus on my body the entire time because I'm
(04:26):
always taking pictures, I'm showing up online, I'm sharing about
my body image and trying to be accepting of my body.
And it's so much more like in the field of
vision when it's become part of my brand and what
I talk about. And then that opens me up to
be more self critical about my my postpartum body because
(04:47):
I can really see the difference between what it looks
like now and what it looks like before I got pregnant,
and then you know, add into the fact that a
pandemic hit months before I got pregnan in and not
throw things through a loop with my body too. So
it's been interesting to see the least. You put up
a recent post on Instagram and this is the caption
(05:09):
that was with it. What I hear and you quoted
things you hear from people. You look amazing, you don't
even look like you had a baby. I wish I
look like that postpartum breastfeeding will have you losing all
that extra weight in no time. And then you wrote
the reality, I don't feel amazing. I do look like
I just had a baby. You see this hair and
(05:30):
the bags under my eyes? Right? I wish I look
like a lot of people postpartum. But do I really
not so much? Do I want to be them? Nope?
Is it weight loss my goal of breastfeeding? No? And
does it always help you lose weight? Also no. Remember
we don't always see the full picture. Everything has so
much more depth to it than what you see on
the outside. I chose this post to bring up I
(05:51):
always like to scroll through people's instagrams and see if
I can paint a picture of kind of who the
person is, what they're about with their Instagram feed has
on there, and you know made me think of something
Lisa and I tried to concentrate on here in our
outweigh family is like, first of all, just commenting on
people's bodies in general. So like when when people have
(06:11):
said things to you, maybe even while you were pregnant
and postpartum, how do you handle that, Like if someone says, oh,
breastfeeding will have you lose that weight in no time,
Like do you just kind of let that go or
is it a time to maybe help educate them on
commenting about people's bodies or how do you handle that personally?
(06:34):
It's crazy because I think during pregnancy and maybe at
the beginning of my postpartum journey, that would give me
a little grain of hope because you know, we still
have that ingrained in us, like, oh, having that weight
loss would be great, Like I would love to get
you know, a little bit of my body back as
as it was, so that old part of your brain
(06:54):
is like, oh, hopefulness. But then the reality sets in
when you realize that not only do a lot of
people not lose weight by breastfeeding, but a lot of
them gain weight from breastfeeding because you're having to nurture
your body so much more to help with the milk
production for the baby, which I didn't realize how common
(07:16):
this was until actually I posted that, and I scrolled
through all the comments, and I saw how many women
were like, I can't stand when I hear that, because
it's not true. It wasn't true for me. I gained
weight while breastfeeding, and it hurts to hear that. And
so now when it comes up, I do try to,
you know, gently educate and be like, you know, that's
(07:36):
actually not true. A lot of women don't lose weight
by breastfeeding, or the opposite happened, so it's not really true.
I love that when you said that that you had
to nurture your body more. I think that's an important
way to describe it, because some people are like they
might have in their head like oh, I can't stop eating,
I'm just eating this or craving this or craving that.
(07:57):
But really, when it comes down to your orchering your
body and giving it the calories that it needs to
produce the milk and feed another life, yeah, exactly. As
a nurse and somebody who at least for the last
few years. I know your journey has transitioned a bit
from where it started, which is natural. You're somebody that
fights diet culture every day by showing up and sharing
(08:21):
your story. How do you fight the culture of people saying, oh,
you should breastfeed because you'll lose weight. Like, let's just
say that was a fact, which we now know it's
not right. But let's just say every time every woman
that breastfeed loses weight. How do we get those two
apart so that women want to breastfeed and get the
(08:42):
joys of breastfeeding, assuming it's joyful. I don't know, but
you know, I'm sure it comes with lots of difficulty
as well. But how can we separate those two in
conversation and go back to what breastfeeding is really about? Yeah?
I think it ultimately comes down to what is the
point of breastfeeding and the point of breastfeeding how absolutely
nothing to do with your weight. Breastfeeding is to feed
(09:05):
your baby, so your baby gains weight or your baby
is nourished. Like, that is what it comes down to,
And I think people often forget that with that statement
because we're just so ingrained to feel like we need
to bounce back, we need to get our body back,
and so they're like, this can help, this will do it,
(09:26):
and they say it as like, I don't know, to
make you feel good or to keep you hopeful. It's
it's very bizarre, and I'm like, who planting that idea
and like made that something that everyone things happens. Were
they trying to get more people to breastfeed from that?
I just don't understand. I mean, I'm sitting here starting
to wonder if that was something that was planted just
(09:48):
to yeah, make women feel better about doing it, or
it is like a goal to like make it happen
so that in their head they're like, Okay, I'm doing this,
I'm doing this. And it's almost like sometimes I've I've
never been praying in it. So I'm just speaking here.
I do have two children that they're adopted, and I'm
trying to think, like, shouldn't the real thing be if
(10:09):
you do choose to breastfeed. Some people may not, which
is totally their choice, but shouldn't the real focus be, Oh,
I'm I can't wait to breastfeed so that I can
have that crazy connection with my child. Instead what we
have grown up hearing is, Oh, I can't wait to
breastfeed because it will help me lose a few of
these pounds, which I am appreciative of certain people in
(10:32):
the spotlight that are saying I don't want to have
my pre baby body back, Like I'm gonna stop saying
that to myself. Like Marion Morris was in the news
a couple of months ago saying, you know, admitting that
she was someone that had said, maybe not even publicly,
but to herself like I'm working to get my pre
baby body back. And she she has quite the following
(10:55):
and has so many girls that look up to her
and women that I was so thankful to hear her
post and say, yeah, I'm gonna stop saying that to myself.
And some of it, yeah, you like you have a
very online presence, so you're able to speak into people,
but sometimes it's the narrative that we have quietly in
our head, like people might be thinking, oh, I need
(11:16):
to get my my pre baby body back, And thank
you for being part of helping change that narrative. And
and it's hard because I'm myself, I'm not comfortable in
my new postpartum body. It feels very strange. I feel
disconnected a little bit. It's starting to be better now,
but it's this whole new person. It's like you birth
(11:39):
of baby, and you're getting to know this baby that
grew inside you for nine months, and you're able to
get excited about the changes happening in your body through
that nine months because you're seeing the growth of your
baby happen. But then you have this new baby who
you just love and adore. But then you kind of
birth this new you at the same time mine that
(12:00):
you're trying to get to know that you're not used
to your clothes don't fit, things, just don't feel comfortable.
Add onto the fact that you you can't work out,
you are probably eating differently than you were before, definitely
more sporadically. You're you're probably snacking, eating less, eating more,
doing whatever you can. Basically you're in survival mode at first,
(12:23):
and you're probably not getting as much sunshine. Just so
many changes, so many changes are happening that are impacting
not only your physical appearance, but how you feel internally.
That also affects your body image. I don't know about you,
but it doesn't matter how I actually look if I'm
not moving my body, eating well in a way that
(12:46):
makes me feel good, getting some decent sunshine, I feel
like crap. And if I feel like crap, I look
in the mirror. It doesn't matter if I look great,
quote unquote great or what not. I'd be like, Oh,
my body not a fan right now. It's not a
fan because I don't feel good inside. And I think
that that's something that's so many new moms struggle with,
(13:07):
where they just don't feel good because of all these
new elements, and it often is reflected in their body
image because that's the easiest thing they can pinpoint. Because
they look in the mirror and they don't look the same,
They don't look like they used to. They see a
stranger looking back at them. They're exhausted, they have this
new life and and it's hard. And so then you
(13:29):
have that little voice in the back of your head
like things would be so much easier if at least
my body was what it used to be. Things would
be so much easier if I could just fit into
my clothes again, and and if something couldn't be normal again.
And so it is this very difficult, delicate balance of
I want to feel good and I want to look
(13:51):
a certain way because that's how I'm comfortable, and then
trying to navigate. Let's break that down, what's going on?
Do I really want to look that way? Do I
need something else? It's very complicated and complex, and I'm
trying to figure it out myself because I wasn't super
comfortable in my body, but for many of those reasons,
(14:12):
because I wasn't moving, I wasn't eating properly, and I
wasn't getting outside, and I just felt like crap. It's
so interesting because it's such a natural process for a woman.
I'm putting that in air quotes so everyone could hear
that I'm doing that. But I never realized how disregulating
those first few weeks are. When you said, you know,
a new mom is exhausted. She says no sleep, She
(14:35):
has probably no access to nourishing meals because that takes time,
you know, no access to sunshine, and then all of
a sudden, you know, you look in the mirror and
you blame it all on the way you look when
there's so many things, like you said, components that make
you feel good. But body image is such a low
hanging fruit, the one that we're allowed to complain about
the one that we're allowed to work on. And I
(14:57):
love this post that you did about your prey Nancy clothes.
You said, I have no idea when I'll fit into
my pre pregnancy clothes or if I'll ever fit into them.
And while I could continue to wear leggings and oversized clothes,
I'm sick of not feeling cute, so I went shopping.
There's been more failures than successes. There's been a lot
of sizing up. It has not been the most fun experience.
(15:19):
But now I have some clothes that fit me as
I am now in the body that I have now,
and that feels good. I'm not saying I always love
how I look in these new clothes, but I can
be okay in them, and for now, that's enough. And
there's just so much in that post to really savor
and digest, because it, first of all, applies to all
women who are experiencing a change in their body that
(15:42):
are frustrated every time they go to try on clothing
that want to feel cute, but instead of putting on
oversized clothing because they think they shouldn't invest in something
for now, And there's nothing wrong with looking cute putting
on clothes that fit you now and being okay with
your body just as it is in this moment. So
(16:02):
I I personally just really thank you for that post too,
because I can't imagine how many women recently pregnant or
not are just like, yes, I should go get clothes
that fit me now. Maybe not an entire new wardrobe,
because I don't know where this body is going, but
I want to feel good tomorrow walking out the door. Yeah. Yeah.
And I actually I was a little heartbroken because I
(16:25):
put up a pole and I was or a little
question box, and I was like, how long did you
wait after baby to go shopping again and buy new clothes,
And the amount of responses saying, I'm a year postpartum,
I still haven't going shopping, I'm still wearing my maternity clothes,
or I'm still wearing the same leggings and baggy shirt
that I have been this whole time, and so many
(16:47):
responses like that, and you can just tell that they
just don't feel good about themselves and that they're like
afraid to go shopping, They're afraid to go try on
those new clothes, or they're holding out hope, they're waiting
they're waiting to get their body back and to fit
into their old clothes again, which, like I said, I
(17:08):
don't know if it's ever going to happen. Not only
does your body get bigger in the obvious places, but
it kind of shifts shape a little bit too, Like
you're not the same proportions that you were before, So
you're kind of having to figure out how to address
a newly proportioned body and not just a bigger body,
(17:28):
if that makes sense. So it just it made me
really sad to see how many people were just not
excited to go shopping. And I get it. It can
be scary, it could be intimidating. It's taken me a
really long time to go from trying in the target
dressing room when I try and close that don't fit me,
because for so long you try and close they don't fit,
(17:52):
you think you're the problem. You think your body is
the problem, instead of realizing that piece of clothing is
the problem. Um, I either need to find a different
piece of clothing or try on a different size in
that clothing that actually works for my body, not the
other way around. And I've now realized that I'm going
(18:13):
to have so many more failures of shopping experiences than successes.
Shopping takes so much patience. It takes going into it
knowing that, hey, a lot of this stuff is probably
not gonna fit. I'm not gonna love how it looks
on me because it's not the right piece of clothing
for me, and just saying Okay, this isn't it. Moving on,
(18:36):
Let's try the next thing until you find the thing
you love. But it's so easy to just get overwhelmed
by the negative shopping experiences that it makes you want
to avoid it completely, and then you miss out on
all these awesome pieces of clothes that might make you
feel really good because you don't want to go through it.
(18:57):
It can be such a gut wrenching experience in so
many of these places where the lighting is just extra
awful and you're like fighting with tags that are stuck
on your body because it's too small of a garment.
You know, there's just so many things that make it
really uncomfortable. But I love what you said about knowing
that you're going to have more failures than successes. Like
also just knowing that majority of the things that you
(19:18):
put on are just not gonna work and that shape shifting,
like you said, that's happening, your body is changing. Makes
it even more challenging because normally you might know that,
let's say a line dresses look good on your body, right,
and then you're walking into this store and you have
no even just being in pregnancy, like the style of dress.
I have no idea how to dress myself, And it's
just it's interesting to kind of go into it with
(19:40):
the mindset of knowing, Hey, we're gonna give this a go.
We're not going to be attached to the outcomes, and
we're just going to find things that work just for today. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
In this postpartum space for you, how have you dealt
with any or have you dealt with any internal struggles
with certain people that you follow or stuff you come
(20:02):
across on Instagram of like comparison with other people that
are postpartum. I just didn't know if you could speak
to that at all and offer encouragement to people that
may find themselves in that position, whether pregnant now or
in postpartum, or might be pregnant one day, or just
even comparison online in general, What do you do to
help protect your brain from any thoughts. Oh yeah, And
(20:27):
it's so hard because while I used to compare my
body all the time to other people that I saw online,
that hasn't necessarily been the top of mind. But I
definitely catch myself comparing myself to others with a bunch
of different other things. And I don't know how it happened,
but I have so many friends online in a similar
(20:48):
space that I am, and everyone just happened to get
pregnant at this same time and had babies all around
the same time. And it's so bizarre but also so amazing.
But then that also leaves you compare are in yourselves,
whether you know, because Instagram is a business and it
can be so hard to see, you know, engagement differences
(21:09):
and brand partnership differences and stuff like that where some
people are creating this what I think is like really
amazing content, and I'm like, how do you have the energy?
How do you have the energy? Like I can't even
get dressed today, Like how are you writing these amazing captions?
And you read a couple of good ones, I'm like, hey,
(21:31):
I have another one. Okay, I put some good stuff
out there, but for the most problem, like how are
you how are you doing this? And then I just
fall down this spiral of feeling like I'm inadequate or
feeling like I'm not good enough. And I'm sure you
must know Sarah of the Bird's Papaya. I don't know why,
(21:52):
but me and all my other friends, we we can't
help but compare ourselves to her because she's just like
this anomaly, superhuman on Instagram, and we all kind of
she's a friend of mine. I love her so much
and I look up to her. And it's hard because
we were all kind of in a similar spaces her
and then and then she exploded, and she's doing all
(22:12):
these incredible, amazing things, and it can feel like what
am I doing wrong? Or what why am I not
doing amazing things? Or why am I not as likable?
Which can be so mind boggling. And and something that
from a personal level has been a little difficult is
my my twelve girl didn't have the best bonding with
(22:34):
the baby at first. It took a really long time
for her to warm up to the baby, and from
watching Sarah and her older kids just like seemed like
they were absolutely in love with her new baby, seeing
that special relationship and bond that they were going through.
It was really hard for me when mine were not
having that same kind of bond. And so it's just
(22:55):
like stuff like that that you wouldn't think about. Are
are definitely challenges that you don't anticipate when you're just
watching people on Instagram, you know. Yeah, comparison sneaks in
in in a lot of different ways. And I will
say I have a brother who's sixteen years younger than me,
and I was really piste off when he was born,
and then I really do love him. So I will
say that good relation tips take a little bit of
(23:18):
you know, cultivation time. Yeah, and things are things that
I could talk about it now because things are much
better now, But for a while it was like, oh no,
But I think you bring up a good point that
it's just so easy to compare, even to compare to
people that you're so happy for, and especially in the
new moms space when you're so tired, but you know,
it's so hard and and you're somebody that shows up
(23:40):
for other new moms, you know, that's what your account
is about. That It's like, it's not even like you
comparing yourself to anyone else. It's about why can't I
continue to show up in the way that I used
to serve. I can personally relate to that being frustrating
from my own life experiences, and it's just so easy
to to get caught up in that. So comparison comes
(24:01):
in all different shapes and sizes, you know, so to speak.
It's not just about oh, this person bounced back, It's about, oh,
this person's brain went back to working faster than my
brain went to work back working, and that can feel
so frustrating. Oh you nailed it, you nailed it, so yeah, exactly.
I love that your Instagram description is sugar and spice
(24:23):
with a dash of sass, and that you're into realistic
wellness and some motherhood messiness. And I just think your Space,
you've done a really great job with it, and you're
giving so many of your people, your followers and hopefully
some new ones that come and follow you after today,
just that permission to to be themselves right where they are,
(24:47):
just to meet themselves right where they're at, and be
okay with that. I know, I'm super thankful for it.
I think that it takes a special type of person
to kind of show show up in all all of
their ways, and you do it so well. I mean
sometimes I'll even like I don't put probably as much
of my life on Instagram. I have other outlets where
(25:09):
people learn more about me. And I've worked in radio
for fifteen years and I'm on air, so it's it's
that's more of my space. But there is something about
having a visual with it too, and even your videos,
Like I've just watched so many of your stories and
instantly felt comforted, and I'm like, this is where it's at.
This girl's keeping it real because I've watched some mother
mothers and they are making it seem like they just
(25:30):
have it all together, and like motherhood is so easy
and simple, and I just think that you're doing it well.
So I want to say that I look up to
you just as you may look up to uh Sarah, Well,
thank you. That means a lot, and shout out to
my Instagram bio. I'm like, what's what's my point here?
(25:50):
So Amy? Can you read the other social media posts
that you liked of oh the other one that I pulled? Yes,
I can. Yeah, hopefully Chelsea is fine with us just
like reading her words back to her, But it's really
for everybody else for the world all right now. This
one is from January, and Chelsea wrote, my body was
(26:12):
the epicenter of my brand for so many years, from
building this page based on my weight lust journey to
learning to accept my body. It's always focused on my body,
explaining why it wasn't okay, explaining why it was, to
talking about why I didn't like it, how I was
learning to love it. But all roads led back to
my body being the focus, and while being okay with
(26:35):
my body and myself in general, will always be a
part of my story that I will continue exploring. It
never has and never will be the full thing. Like
we all know by now, we are so much more
than our bodies. Sometimes in this space it doesn't feel
like I can talk about anything else because that's all
I've done for so long, and it just doesn't resonate
(26:55):
as much anymore because frankly, I don't want to think
about my body day every day. It can be rather exhausting,
to be honest. So here's to a future of my
body being only part of my story and not the
sole focus. I had goose bumps while I read that
out loud, so sorry that I just yelled into the microphone,
(27:17):
But I mean that is that's the kind of content
you're going to get from ling people. I think that
was one of my favorite posts that I ever put
out there, because I felt like after saying that that
I was kind of like drawing a line in the
sand that I was moving forward with talking about my
body less. And that was really scary, actually, because then
(27:40):
I felt like I was going to be judged if
I did talk about my body, or that I was
going to have my content hyper focused on what is
she doing that or is she not? And it was
also freeing because I had been feeling that way for
a very very long time. And I know many other
people who who started out like I did with either
(28:01):
a fitness weight loss account, transition to a similar places
me and and feel very similar, but they're afraid to
integrate other different types of content because people love that.
People love to see if you talking about your body,
people sharing their cellulie and stretch marks and all that stuff.
(28:23):
They love it, and the algorithm loves it. And not
doing that, it's kind of it can hinder your brand
a little bit too, And it's scary, and I think
it's it's hard because it's so emotionally draining to have
to feel like you have to talk about that all
the time, and it can just have a really negative
(28:44):
impact on your mental health. And then, like I said,
you're you're just hyper focusing on your body, so then
you end up being more self critical. Or if you're
having a bad body image day, then you feel like
you're failing because you're talking about how you're supposed to
have good body image and it's just it's all disaster.
I think there's so much authenticity laced into that, And
in the beginning of Instagram, it was kind of like,
(29:05):
if you show your imperfections all the time, that's the
most authentic thing you can do. But like you said,
when you start to build your brand on that, but
then all of a sudden, it's like, wait, that's not
what I'm thinking about all the time, but it's what
I'm posting all the time because it's what people like.
To really go back to what you like, your journey,
your reality, which could be a funny caption. Sometimes I
(29:26):
really enjoy your short captions. You're one liners that I
think like that to me is who you are. You're
you know, you said, what was it? What was the
bio sugar and spiced with a little set. I messed
up sugar and spice and a little bits. Yeah, it's
a little bit of sass, you know when you're you're
getting it in there and you're a full person, And
it truly feels like like Amy said, like when you
(29:47):
watch your stories, it feels real seeing somebody just share
their imperfections. And I think even like really long quotes
while I'm short, resonates with each person differently from a
creator point of view, I just feel you on that
where it's like we're a well rounded human being. We
need to show all of those well rounds and not
chase the algorithm because of you know what performs well, yeah, exactly,
(30:10):
you know, you know, I know, I got you. Okay,
Well this was super super interesting. Can just to finish
off the episode, is there just one thing that you
would want a new mom to know in weeks one
through eight, You're gonna be okay, it's gonna be fine,
it's gonna be massy, it's gonna be a little hard.
(30:30):
I have a very difficult time asking for help. So
I had so many people while I was still pregnant
say I'll bring food by I'll go grocery shopping this
that there's so many offers for things before baby came,
But then baby came and crickets, and I'm not the
type of I'm not going to text you and be like, hey,
(30:51):
will you go do that thing that you said you
were gonna do like four weeks ago, because that'd be
great right about now, I'm not going to do that.
So if you can, you know, gentle reminder of those
people when they're offering ahead of time, like will you
offer that again when babies here? And I think that
would help a lot because then it's a lot easier
(31:12):
for someone be like, hey, I'm I'm running to the store.
Can I grab you something and be like yes, instead
of reaching out and asking for that help. Because while
while asking for help is great, it's really really hard
and realistically we're not going to do it. So I'd say,
definitely do that, and and just know it's a phase.
It's a phase, soak it in. It goes by so quickly,
(31:36):
and while it's one of the most challenging times, your
baby is never going to be like as squishy and
tiny and and fresh, and you only get to enjoy
that for such a short period of time that you know,
even if you're feeling a little strange in your body
and your mindsets not not its best, Just just know
(31:56):
it'll be okay and it'll pass and and soak up
all the good that you can from that that time,
because it'll be over before you know it. I love it,
and I guess I'll just piggyback off of that and
maybe gear what you said towards people that are listening
that may have a friend that's pregnant or have just
had a baby, or if they're about to to like
(32:18):
hear what Chelsea said, and make sure you're intentional about
reaching out after the baby is born. That's an excellent point.
Like maybe you could be the friend that organizes the
meal train. Maybe you could be the friend that organizes,
you know, a group text to make sure that whoever
just had a baby is taken care of for the
first couple of months. Like you know, if you have
(32:39):
a handful of friends that take two weeks out of
twelve or something, then boom, they've got some some support.
And so if if you're listening right now, instead of
the pregnant person having to maybe kind of subtly remind
friends to be there for them, like we'll just send
the reminder out to all of us, Like, Lisa is
having a baby soon, so now I'm making a mental
(33:01):
note to make sure that Lisa's okay after she goes birth.
Thank you, thank you, Chelsea. We'll put your information below
so everyone can go follow if they're not And thank
you for being such a light. And congrats on your
baby and you're growing family and it's just a beautiful
life you have. And congrats to you Lisa. I can't
(33:23):
wait to see your little baby. And thanks to be
here before you know. It's so exciting. I was so
good to talk to both of you. Thank you so
much for having me on my pleasure. Thanks, thank you,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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