September 1, 2022 • 52 mins
Amy is pumped to finally connect with Tim Shurrer!! Is your definition of success leaving you restless and empty? Tim can help with that and he's on to talk about his new book: The Secret Society of Success!
There’s a message getting a lot of airtime these days. It says to be successful, you have to step into the spotlight, climb the ladder, become the boss, or chase whatever version of success that’s been dangled in front of you.
But what if there’s another way? What if fame, money, and power aren’t all that we should be chasing?
In The Secret Society of Success, Tim Schurrer invites you to reevaluate your definition of success and learn a new, freer way to go about achieving it. How do you learn this approach? With the Secret Society as your guide—a community of people who know how to make an impact, whether they have the spotlight or not. The Secret Society will teach you to
• define success for yourself;
• contribute to your team without minding who gets the credit;
• make an impact that spans far beyond yourself, regardless of the size of your platform;
• navigate living in the tension between contentment and striving;
• go from feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and restless in your job to being confident in the value you bring to the team; and
• discover meaning and fulfillment in the work that you do.
Through powerful stories of people like the CEO of Apple Tim Cook, NBA all-star LeBron James, Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, and people whose names you’ve never heard of, you will discover that the success you’re looking for is within your reach, wherever you are and whatever your role.
Tim knows what it takes to build a winning team. He spent almost a decade of his career launching two brands—StoryBrand and Business Made Simple—as COO alongside New York Times bestselling author Donald Miller. Before that Tim worked at TOMS as well as Apple Inc. He is the host of the Build a Winning Team podcast, where he offers listeners actionable advice as he interviews some of the top leaders in business. Tim lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with his wife, Katie, and their two kids.
CONNECT WITH TIM:
Website - http://SecretSocietyBook.com
Instagram - https://instagram.com/timschurrer/
LinkedIn - http://linkedin.com/in/timschurrer/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/timschurrer
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, cass up little food for you. So life. Oh
it's pretty Bay, it's pretty beautiful. Thank you, laugh a
(00:23):
little moth, tighten up, kicking with four Happy Thursday, four
Things fam. My guest today is Tim Sure did I
get that right to him? And it's so fun to
have Tim on because my friend Gracy Mokler, who's come
(00:44):
on the podcast multiple times and then I just talked
about her as my friend occasionally here and they're married
to Steve Mokler, who has also come on the podcast. Before.
I was over at her house for a girl's night
actually with our mutual friend Ali Fallon, also been on
the podcast, and we were walking out and she thought, oh,
I think I might have something in my mailbox for you.
And she goes over to the mailbox and opens it
(01:06):
up and there's a package from you to her to
give to me, and it's your new book, The Secret
Society of Success, Stop Chasing the Spotlight and Learned to
Enjoy your work and life Again. Before we get into
your book, Tim, you have to tell people we were
just showing me when we weren't recording. It's something you've
(01:27):
been doing for a year and it's amazing and I
feel like everybody's gonna want to do this. But you
took a one second video here in the podcast room
and you uploaded it as your one second for the day.
But you that's what you do every day, and you
put on an app eight years. You've been doing here
for eight years. Eight years. See, you have one second
a day every day for the past eight years. And
then I created a second little feed when my dog
(01:51):
when I got a puppy, so I have the first
year of a puppy's life growing up, one second every day.
It's the sweetest thing. So I heard this guy who
created the app speak at an event in Portland, and
I download the app then, and what it does is
each day you select a video from your camera role
(02:13):
and you just choose a little one second snippet. And
then what it does is it compiles all of those
seconds together and in the bottom left the date you know,
counts one day at a time, and so you just
see on the screen the one second clip. And it's
amazing because it's so hard to try to journal and
(02:35):
write down all these various memories, but I don't want
to forget them, and one second of video is enough.
I mean I'll see that one second of you and
I sitting here, and I'll have so many memories of
today because of one little, you know, second snippet. This
is the coolest thing ever, and I need to remember
to start this. But so the app is called one
(02:56):
Second every Day, Okay, one second every day or one
second a day, one second every day, one the exact one,
because obviously you're a fan of it. You've been using
it for eight year or so one second every day.
And should I be too caught up in the fact
that we're over halfway through the year, Should I start
now or do I need to start in January? We'll
start now. And so when you search for it in
(03:18):
the app store, the number one the number one second
every day, and the logo is kind of like a
black background with the number one with kind of like
some film strips in front of it. I am excited it.
And so what I do is every six months, I
export the video and create a three minute video. So
(03:40):
if you to do a whole year, it'd be about
six minutes long. But I do January one to the
end of June, and that's about a three minute video,
and then July one the end of the year is
kind of the end of the year, and so I
have six minutes times eight years to just catch you up.
And what I what I love about it too, is
(04:00):
it forces you to think about what is it today
that's a little bit different. There's gonna be some days
when it's me sitting there at my desk whatever. I
was like, Hey, this this encapsulates the day. Sometimes that's
what it is. But I try to just find what's
the thing that maybe it's a little unique or different,
and I try to get a one second video of it.
(04:22):
And it's one of my favorite things. I've been doing
it for forever. And what I love too is if
you forget, you can just go back into your camera
roll and choose the things you don't have to record
that one second in the apper. You know, it's like
lose it. You actually just can pull from your camera.
You probably have more videos than you even realize. You
could probably go back for the last how many ever
(04:43):
months of the year and pull together a pretty good one.
And what I love about the app two is on
the days that you miss, it's not like a blank spot.
It just cuts together all the days that you do
have awesome Okay, I'm even though nobody's selling anything that
I am signing, it's amazing. I'm so glad that you
showed me that before we started, because people are gonna
love this and I'm gonna love it, and it's just
(05:04):
a way, like a simple way to document and they're
doing all the work for you. You just have to
make sure that it's loaded into the app. Very cool.
Thank you for sharing that with us. So we're going
to talk about this book that you wrote, which is fascinating.
And some of the endorsements on the back are some
other friends of mine, like Bob Goff and Scott Hamilton's
(05:25):
the Best. Ernie Johnson Jr. I don't know him that
these are just other people that endorse him or endorsed
the book. Oh Blake, the founder of Thom's, I don't
know him either, but I'm just using first name basis.
So I'm very excited just to talk with you and
all that you do and all that you want to
do to empower people to live their best life, even
if it's not in the spotlight. I do feel this crazy,
(05:48):
weird confusion at times with what in the world did
we do before social media? Because things operated, businesses ran
things so old the economy went on without having to
have this presence on Instagram or TikTok in the spotlight. Yeah.
(06:09):
I remember sitting in one of my first meetings with
the publisher and they said, Tim, we need you to
post more on social media, and I'm like, dang it,
do I and they're explaining what reels are. I just
felt like the oldest person ever not even understanding these things.
I'm not old. I didn't even know what a real was. Okay,
(06:30):
but how old are you? But oldest relative? Okay, your
thirty six, so you're five years younger than me, and
you were even feeling this. And it takes a village,
It takes a team. There's one of the first things
you talk about in your book is you talk about
Neil Armstrong being the first person to walk on the moon.
So we know that he was the first step, and
(06:53):
then we know that Buzz was there because he's a
second person. But then there was someone piloting the ship.
Do you know the man's name? Probably most people probably
do not. And that's what's so crazy is everyone knows
Apollo Levin. But as we think about how that whole
thing happened, there's this guy named Michael Collins, so he
(07:14):
uber's meal and buzz to the moon and then drops
them off. They do all the things they need to
do on the Moon's surface, while he actually gets all
the way to the moon but has to stay in
the command module orbits the moon something like twenty six
times until those guys are ready to be picked up
and brought back to Earth, which is crucial. They write
(07:36):
they need a ride home. But what I think is
so interesting about this story is when he gets back
to Earth and sits down with the press, he talks
about how content he was to have had one of
those three seats. And why that's even interesting and fascinating
for us is because he was content playing a role
(07:58):
behind the scenes when all of the cultural narratives, the
messaging is to be successful, you need to be the
one who's walking on the moon. But I think the
question for all of us is, do you need to
walk on the moon to be happy? That is the
only way that you can be successful in your life
(08:18):
if you're the one who takes steps on the moon,
or is there another approach. Can we show up a
little bit differently where we're content in the role that
we play on whatever team that we're on. Is that
a possibility Because for so many people, the way that
they think about success is just what is being handed
(08:40):
to them. But we've not taken time to really ask
ourselves what success is for each of us and then
how that new definition can impact how we show up
in all these other areas of our lives. So it's
not the big like what society says it's is successful.
And that's why this is the secret society just to
excess because not many people are living this way. Hopefully
(09:05):
now that your book is out there and people are
reading it and some people, maybe through other means, have
adopted this way of thinking. But I love that you
took the time to share that all roles are important
and giving people that validation of you don't have to
chase the spotlight to be successful or ultimately happy. One
of my favorite songs we're talking about Steve Moakler. We
(09:27):
could talk for a long time about how much I
love Steve Vlkler. I managed him for three and a
half years, so I got to spend a lot of
time with Steve, love him. One of my favorite songs
of his is a song called Humble operations. There's a
line that talks about, you know, whether you're your white
collar or blue collar. These people, a lot of these
blue collar folks. They built the world we're living in.
(09:51):
And I love that word that use validation, because what
I hope this book offers people is that validation to
just live into your role, play your part. Every role matters.
So if you think about a concert, for example, right,
so the person in the center of the stage, we
need them to do their thing. We need people standing
(10:11):
center stage in the spotlight. But we also need the
person running sound, we need the backing guitarists, we need
the person taking tickets. I have no problem with the
fact that there are people in the spotlight. What I
have a problem with is when people try to talk
about it as though that is the only thing that matters,
(10:32):
and that then should be the aspiration for all of us.
And you know, I call this group of people the
Secret Society of Success. These are people who have shown
me that we can look at success a little bit differently.
And you know what I found is being in the
Secret Society actually has little to do with your place
on the ORC chart. Whether you're standing in the center
(10:53):
of the stage, or not. Being in the Secret Society
has more to do with how you show up. Are
you willing to define success as someone who helps others win?
Or are you somebody who shows up and is constantly
making it all about you? And if there is a
common denominator for what it looks like to be in
the Secret Society, it's that helping others win, serving others,
(11:15):
showing up in that way. Whether you are you know
a name that everyone knows, like a Neil Armstrong or
a buzz Aldrin, or maybe you are in a role
like Michael Collins, I think we all can adopt this
help others win approach and mindset and way of defining success.
I think more of us can do that today, more
than you know. Maybe we are. In the introduction, it
(11:36):
says the success you're looking for. There's a message getting
a lot of airtime these days. It says to be successful,
you have to step into the spotlight, climb the ladder,
become the boss, or chase whatever version of success that's
been dangled in front of you. But what if there's
another way? What if fame, money and power aren't all
that we should be chasing. I'll show you how to
reevaluate your definition of success and learn a new, freeer
(11:59):
way to go about achieving it. Here's the best news.
The success you're looking for is within your reach, wherever
you are and whatever your role. And I love that
because I am reading this and applying it to my
life and trying to figure out where am I content
with my role? And yes, I may have one job
where it is in a spotlight of sorts, but that
(12:21):
isn't mean to have to show up on every single
spotlight stage. There is pressure out there for that, and
I know there's pressure like that for a lot of people.
But really trying to step back and assess what is
making me happy? What is bringing me fulfillment when I'm working, Like,
what am I proud of at the end of the day.
What is filling my cup up? What is draining me?
What's interesting is I've been working on this book. Is
(12:43):
there is a team of people behind the scenes making
any book happen. Ali Fallon, who you also mentioned she
helped me write this book. You know her name is
not on the cover, but without Ali, this book wouldn't
have happened. But there's also editors and you know, proof
readers and if you think about the role of an
editor integral part of creating a book, making the whole
(13:05):
thing happen. And so I think if if an editor
were to pay attention to the cultural narratives, it's for
them to be successful. They need to be the author,
the one whose name is on the front cover. I
think there's a pressure for them to step into that
or evolve into that kind of a role. But what
(13:26):
about the editor who's really content being an editor. They
love their job as an editor, they don't want to
be an author, but yet they're feeling this pressure that
they have to keep evolving and getting more and more
into the spotlight. And I think that there are a
lot of editors out there, you know, and and so
many different professions that are feeling this pressure to become
(13:49):
a thing, step into this next role when maybe the
success that they're looking for is exactly where they are today.
And I think what it comes down to is define
finding what success is for you and living into that
definition rather than mindlessly living according to a definition that
(14:09):
somebody else handed to you. When did you decide you
had this book in you and you wanted to write it,
and why did you feel the need to get it
out there about five years ago. You mentioned Bob Goff earlier.
(14:31):
So I was at this event that he hosted called
dream Big. And at the end of this two days,
they go around the room and ask everybody, what's your
big dream? And I said, out loud for the first time,
I want to write a book. And when I said that,
it's just a thing I thought would be fun to
figure out a big challenge that I could make progress
(14:52):
towards over time. But I spent the last ten years
as the right hand to Donald Miller running Story Brand
and Business made Simple, and so I didn't want to
write a book as a means of launching into a
new career. I just had a dream. I thought it
would be fun, so I said that out loud. Then
you know, Bob started calling me and texting me and
(15:14):
asking how progress was going on the book. And one
step after the next, I get a book publishing deal,
and now here we are closer to launching this book.
And you know, I'm really proud to have done it
and all the work and everything that I had learned
to get to that point. But you have a dream
of writing a book, the next thing that comes is
(15:36):
what do you want to write about. What do you
feel passionate about that you know causes you to spend
all of the time researching and writing and and I
just felt like there's a lot of conversations around success,
but I just didn't feel like anyone was giving any
real solutions or anything that we can do about it.
There's this what do we do when kids want to
(15:58):
be YouTube stars? That's what they say they want to be.
They don't want to be firefighters anymore. They want to
be YouTube stars. They want to be famous. They want
to monetize from Instagram they see. I know, my father
had said the same thing. If I run our cats Instagram,
maybe it could make money. And I'm like, it's just
not that simple, okay. And so this is the world
(16:20):
we're living in. And so I felt like I was
My antenna was up knowing I wanted to write a book.
My antenna was up for the things that I'm seeing.
And you know what really drew my attention, and this
was it. This was this conversation. And there was a
season in my life when I wanted to be the
next John Mayor, and that's a whole other story, but
I wanted to be a famous musician ultimately filled in that,
(16:42):
and I found as I stepped further and further away
from the spotlight into roles behind the scenes, whether it
was you know, working alongside Steve behind the scenes, or
then spending the last ten years with Donald Miller behind
the scenes. But didn't you also work for Tom's too?
I did, Yeah, And I spent some time at Apple
as well, and just found that being a part of
(17:05):
a team contributing in the way that I was able to.
I found so much fulfillment and contentment in that. And
it had very little to do with people knowing who
I was. And so as as there's these messages that
are saying that success looks like only this one thing,
I was really conflicted because that wasn't my experience. In fact,
(17:26):
the thing that I wanted, the you know, fulfillment in
my life and career that I was looking for, I
was finding in rolls behind the scenes. And I just
started thinking, I don't think I'm the only one. Surely
there are other people who feel conflicted on this journey.
Oh for sure. I think that the challenge is very
(17:47):
powerful is to check where you are with things. And
that's even something you touch on in chapter two with
different questions for the spotlight mindset, like asking yourself like
do you struggle to find contentment in your life? Does
it lead you on a restless pursuit for more like
that's if you're striving? Is their comparison going on? Do
(18:08):
you wish you were someone else? Or wonder how your
success stacks up against others? Are you jealous in a
way that gets in your way damage relationships? Does money, fame,
or status trump other things in your life? Are your
relationships suffering because of it? Do you have a fear
of failure? Are you seeking validation selfishness? If there is
a thing that is keeping us from the Secret Society,
(18:30):
I think it's this. It's the spotlight mindset, which I
just simply defined as an unhealthy desire for attention, recognition,
which is a final one seeking influence. Do you believe
you need a bigger stage to have a life of significance?
And I love that you are reminding us in this
whole book. No, you don't. I mean some people might
(18:51):
that if that's what they feel like they're called to do, right,
But you don't have to have that to be significant.
Everybody's roles in important You don't need a stage to
make an impact. You don't. And I heard a guy
named Andy Stanley say, what if your greatest contribution is
not in something you do, but in someone you raise?
(19:15):
Would an impact on one life one of your kids
be enough for you? Like, if you look back at
your entire life and the one significant impact you made
on a human being was in one of your children,
would you look at your life and say that was
a success Or do you need to feel like you
impacted hundreds or thousands to really feel like your life mattered.
(19:38):
That's an honest question. I think everyone needs to answer
that for themselves. There's been somebody who I've been really
inspired by. Its Becca Stevens, who's the founder of Thistle Farms.
And Thistle Farms is an amazing organization in Nashville. And
you know, they help women get off the streets from
lives of prostitution, drug addiction, trafficking, and they help them
(19:59):
find you know, recovery from all of that. And you know,
Becca Stevens is who founded that and she started by
helping five women get off the streets. Well here we
are now, I mean that was several years later, and
that impact, that one life at a time, approach has
(20:22):
accumulated into a pretty significant reach a lot of people
that she has touched. I remember talking with one of
the women in Thistle Farms, someone who had graduated through
their program, and I said, where would you be without
Becca Stevens influence in your life? And she didn't hesitate.
She said, I'd be dead. Without Becca, I'd be dead.
(20:45):
And when I think about Becca's life and the impact
that she's made, I feel like, as she here's a
story like that, all of the work would have been
worth it to save that one person or to make
a positive influence in that one person's life. And yet
this message of making an impact in one person's life,
(21:08):
whether it's your neighbor, somebody that you're connected to, a sibling,
a spouse, I think that a lot of people maybe
feel like they're not enough, that they don't have the
kind of influence that they want to feel successful. But
I hope that even just in hearing the last few
minutes is you and I are talking about this, that
people can find fulfillment and validation impacting the lives of
(21:32):
the people closest to them, and maybe one life at
a time is enough. Do you know the starfish story
about this old man's walking down the beach and he
sees a little boy throwing starfish. And there's thousands of
starfish in the ocean or on the sand and little
boys throwing them back in. And the old man said
(21:53):
something like, what are you doing crazy? There's so many
you can you can't make a difference here. And the
little boy picked up to the starfish, threw it in
the ocean and looked at the old man and said,
I've made a difference for that one. And so that's
exactly what that is. And it also to speaking of Gracie,
it makes me think of her when she started Miriam
Designs in her attic making jewelry and then ended up
(22:16):
selling to Abel, which now still employs some of those
original women that were transitioning out of homeless lifestyle. And
you know, they faced a lot of adversity and they
just needed someone to believe in them. And that's what
Gracie did in her attic by teaching them how to
make jewelry. Also, Stephen Young or you do you know him,
he's the founder of Home Street Home here in Nashville.
(22:38):
He's come on the podcast too, And I just think
of him and his impact. He was homeless himself for
five years and then now he's dedicated his life to
helping the homeless here in town. And the work he
is doing is just so amazing. And I'm like, this
is a guy that needs the spotlight, but I mean,
he doesn't want that, but he has a whole team
of people that make that possible. Other people that were
(23:00):
formerly homeless to show up every Saturday to volunteer to
go out and they feed different people and take supplies
and food all deep into the woods, like I went
on one Saturday and behind a home depot deep into
the woods. You have no idea there's these little communities
back there and people are living. But there's people that
show up every Saturday for those people to make sure
(23:21):
that they know that they are cared for and they
are loved. And you don't really hear necessarily about that,
but they're making that organization home street home. They make
it possible. So anyway, and I have this podcast called
Build a Winning Team, and I just did an interview
with Mignon Francois, who's the founder and CEO of the
Cupcake Collection, and she's so passionate about entrepreneurship. She talks
(23:44):
about entrepreneurs have a unique agitation. You see something out
in the world that you want to help solve, and
maybe other people can see it too, but you're the
one person who's raising your hand, like does everybody not
see this? And so you go and build the thing.
And I think the challenge for all of us is
(24:07):
there's probably something that you are passionate about, some kind
of impact that you want to make in the world,
that you uniquely are able to fix or solve. And
what I hope that people do is they take a
step towards trying to solve that problem, help other people,
help someone else win, and don't spend so much time
worrying about the kind of credit you'll get online or
(24:30):
the number of people that you're gonna be able to impact.
Just solve the problem for the person right in front
of you, for the thing that you uniquely are agitated by,
and just take steps in that direction. I think that's
some of the most important work, is just showing up
and doing that, but not really worrying about how much
attention or recognition you get for having done that. Are
(24:53):
you a planner? You do like a five year plan?
Do you have a vision board? Do you manifest things?
I mean either weather it's through prayer or like actually
making you know, a yearly January one cut out on
the magazines, glue it to poster board. What what are
you when it comes to your visions and dreams? Like
if you have an idea for something, where do you start?
(25:14):
So I do find that I kind of follow that
passion and I paid attention to how my passions and
my desires change. When I was twenty three, I started
working for Apple, and I thought, this is an environment
that I love. I felt so connected to that culture
and loved the product in the brand, and I said,
(25:35):
by the time I'm thirty, I want to run an
Apple store. That's what I thought my journey was going
to look like. But what's interesting is over a handful
of years, I started seeing my desires change. Where being
away from my wife at the time, she's still my life,
but it was only a wife. I didn't have kids then,
But seeing how I was struggling to be away on
(25:58):
nights and weekends, because is when you work in a
retail story, you're working nights and weekends and holidays, And
so I just felt my desires changing, and I just
pay attention to that and try to take the next step.
So I think you weren't John Mayor, by the way,
because you'd be on the road, which is great, right,
That's that's actually a really big part of of my
(26:19):
I mean, if I was selling a bunch of records, great,
But I'm so happy it didn't work out because a
life of a musician sometimes you're on the road two
fifty days a year or more, and that would not
have been a win for me. But I think in
I've always been more of like a six month out guy,
not like a six year out guy. I just kind
(26:41):
of look out on the rise, and I really do
like to head in a particular direction, but often with
like a bit of that palm's up mentality. I have
no idea what could happen, but I'm gonna keep taking
steps in the way that makes sense. I never thought
I would write a book and it be a you know,
career change, but you just kind of keep take in
the steps, and that's what happened. And I think that
(27:02):
that is kind of the way that I look at
some of these things. I dream up some of these things.
I don't have this hard map that I've written down.
I have no idea what the next six months of
my life is going to look like. I love that.
I'm always curious to see how creative people, or anybody
that's creating success for themselves in general, what is their plan.
Because some people have the five year plan and you
(27:24):
know exactly how they're gonna get there and what they're
gonna do, and they make it happen. But I love
that you're like, you know, six months out, palms up.
I don't know, you're open to evolving and growing and pivoting.
So you pivoted from Apple to where'd you go next?
So then I started working with Donald Miller, right, because
so when I was working at Apple on the side,
(27:45):
I was managing Steve and had this dream that I
was going to launch this artist management company and you know,
have Steve and maybe go try to find a couple
other artists. And then Don calls and wants me to
you know, work with him and launching this business. And well,
ten years later, well, and I mean, what y'all did,
if I remember the numbers correctly, it's bonkers how y'all
(28:06):
transitioned that or the work y'all did to create what
you all created and turned it into a multimillion dollar
thing and just stepped into that and all of a sudden,
I was not prepared for that dawn call to come,
but it happened. And then you know, even this next season,
I had a date on launching this book, and so
(28:27):
I feel like I got through. May the book comes out,
and now I'm like, I will know what the next
thing is from here. But here we go, all right?
So I have here, I have the numbers. Now, grew
the business from two hundred and fifty thousand to sixteen
point five million in annual revenue, and you've generated more
than twenty million podcast downloads. You've launched multiple best selling
(28:48):
books and on demand video courses, produced dozens of events
from person conference to a five thousand, five hundred person livestream.
That's amazing, and most importantly, built a culture where people
loved their work and would do whatever it took to
help one another and their customers win. I love that
y'all had that. Y'all want people to be upward and
(29:09):
onward and do your thing. We support you, We're here
for you. How can we learn and grow together? Not
everybody has that y'all want people to be upward and
onward and do your thing. We support you, We're here
(29:31):
for you. How can we learn and grow together? Not
everybody has that. Yeah, the team is the only thing
that really matters. I've been watching this show Man in
the Arena talking about Tom Brady, and you know, one
thing that I love hearing as I've been watching the
show is the Patriots didn't want to be announced this
individual players. They wanted to be announced as a team.
(29:53):
So rather than calling out individual players at the beginning
of the game, and you know, the starting quarterback Tom Brady,
they just wanted to be introduced as and now coming
onto the field the new England Patriots. And I think
that there's something so powerful when you think about the team. So, yeah,
I have the ability to have some of these numbers
(30:14):
that you just read out loud. That's a part of
the story. But to try to take credit for doing
any of that myself would be just crazy because there's
a whole team of people that made that happen. So
as much as it is about achieving a goal, I
think it's more important to think about the people that
you're doing it with and everyone winning together and I'm
(30:35):
most proud of the fact that that's the kind of
culture that we created. It was about locking arms together
and solving problems. H I love it. You know, we
were talking about how you're working for the or your
CEO for a nonprofit that was founded by David Novak,
who is the co founder and former CEO of Young Brands,
(30:56):
and we were talking about that culture there. And I
can assume whom it at Young Brands. I don't know
because I wasn't a part of that. But my family
was a part of a Taco Bell franchise based out
of Austin that you know, my sister's husband's family ran,
and my mom worked there for years, and my father
in law worked there for twentysomething years. And they were
(31:19):
all in the corporate office in Austin for this franchise,
which was called ost Taco. And you know, I don't
know if because Young Brands was that way. I'm not
quite sure where it all started. Maybe just their family
was this way, but they did so much to care
for every single employee, from the people working in this
Taco Bell stores, to the general managers, to the managers,
(31:42):
to the regional managers, everybody. I mean They did so
many things to bring everybody together, and they did the
Christmas bus store tour, which my mom was in charge
of planning. But they got in tour buses and they
went around to every single Taco Bell they had in Texas,
and there was over My mom would all always be
if it was getting close to bus tour times, She's like,
(32:03):
it's it's best tour time. I can't talk because she
was strategizing and planning, and they would take gifts to
the store and pot luck and show up and have
a Christmas party for all the employees at that Taco
Bell and then they would get on the bus and
on to the next And then every year they did
a big event as Schlitterbon. Do you know what is
It's a big water park in Texas. But my mom
also wasn't charged it out and she'd be like, it's
(32:23):
schlitter one season. Can't talk. But they would invite every
single Taco Bell employee and they could bring their whole family,
all their kids, spouses, whatever, and they checked in and
had a day at Schlitterbon water park and a huge
company picnic for lunch, and they wanted to show everybody
(32:45):
that worked there that they had value and they mattered,
and I would not every fast food restaurant places like that.
And David, when he was running young, he crewed the
business from four billion to thirty two billion dollars. And
the way he did it was by that creating a
culture of recognition where everyone felt like they mattered, that
(33:07):
they counted. And the way that he drove recognition in
the business is he knew as a leader, he's casting
a shadow. People do what they see their leader doing,
and so David would recognize people for doing the kinds
of behaviors that he knew would drive the business forward.
So if he's at a taco bell and saw someone
(33:30):
doing something right, he'd catch him in the act and
gave him what he would call a personal recognition award.
And then he'd say, Hey, I want to take a
picture with you, and I'll send you a copy of
the picture. Do whatever you want with your copy, but
I'm gonna take a copy and put your photo on
the wall in my office because when people walk into
the CEO S office, I want them to see your
(33:50):
picture and see the kinds of people who are making
stuff happen around here. And what happened is over time,
all of the wall space filled up, so he started
putting these pictures on the ceiling. And to build a
company where everyone felt like they mattered and that they
counted made all the difference for their business because I think,
(34:11):
you know, all this want to matter. We we we
want people to see us and and to value what
it is that we bring to the table each and
every day. And so it's pretty inspiring what what they
did at young And David talks about it, like he says,
all these people talk about stuff like recognition as soft skills,
stuff that doesn't really matter. But David said, it's the
(34:32):
sauce stuff that drives the hard results. So I love
that in business this stuff does matter. Recognizing people matters.
You know, Houston who works behind the scenes on this podcast,
If he's not doing his thing, this whole thing doesn't work.
Oh yeah, no, it would not get uploaded. So thank
you Houston for that. And just for some perspective. Sometimes
(34:56):
the a million versus a billion, it's like, what does
that even mean? It up and so I love that
dividing it into like the days and the years, Like
a million seconds is twelve days a billion seconds. Do
you know how many of this is it's thirty one years.
So that's the difference between a million and a billion.
A trillion seconds is thirty one thousand, six and eight years, so,
(35:22):
you know, because it's like, we don't know a lot
of what is a billion? Like what does that even mean?
But just for context, I think I saw Elon Musk
tweet that once and I was like, oh, that's a
good way to show the difference between a million and
a billion, and it's a lot. It's thirty one years
a lot. It's like a million seconds is only twelve days,
(35:43):
all right. So, Tim, if people are like, I don't
really know if this book is for me, what would
you say to them? If you're like, you know what,
maybe pick it up and give it a try, Like
why would you want someone to pick up this book?
You know? I would say, is it working for you?
Is the way that you're living life working or do
you have this feeling inside of you as we're talking
(36:07):
about some of the stuff that maybe the way that
you are looking at success today could perhaps use a
little bit of a shake up. And you know, at
the end of every podcast I always ask my guests,
I say, all right, finish the sentence for me, success
is m hmm, what is the number one answer? It
actually kind of comes from all over the place. What
(36:29):
I do know is no one says have a lot
of money become famous. That's not what anybody says. Like
I think we know what the answer is. But what
happens is if we're not intentional about filling in the
blank for ourselves and then living in alignment with that definition,
if we don't take the time to do it, what
(36:49):
happens is our brains just get hijacked from the world
that we live in, which everything in the world that
we hear is preaching the exact opposite. It's like, go
get yours, don't worry about the next person, you climb
the ladder, you take that position, you know, you be
the person who has more followers than your friend. But
I just don't think that if we look back on
(37:10):
our lives, that that's a definition of success that's actually
gonna be long lasting. So I think this book gives
some ideas for how we can look at success a
little bit differently to cause us to show up a
little bit differently, Because I really do think the world
around us matters if we get this right. We have
(37:31):
the ability to impact people, one life at a time.
If there's a north star for me as I was
working on this book is this quote by Albert Schweitzer,
and he says this, I don't know what your destiny
will be. Some of you will perhaps occupy remarkable positions.
Perhaps some of you will become famous by your pens
(37:52):
or as artists. But I know one thing. The only
ones among you who will be really happy are those
who have thought and found how to serve. And I
think that's it. What if we are the people that
show up in that way that starts to look at
success a little bit differently, that regardless if we're a
(38:14):
Neil or a Buzz or maybe we're a Michael Collins,
that we find contentment in the role that we play.
But at the end of the day, I hope that
more of us can actually show up trying to help
someone else win. And I think if we do that,
take steps in that direction, I think we're gonna be
on a much better path. You're talking the book too,
(38:35):
about Adam Grant talking about how there's givers and takes
love that book and so many people they feel like
to take is the way, but the whole book is
no No, No Give. And there's this quote by zig Zigler.
He says, help enough people get what they want and
eventually you'll get what you want. And I don't it's
(38:56):
a good start, but there's a part of that quote
that I don't like, and I don't like the transactional
nature of it. Right, Like, if we are only helping
other people get what they want so that we can
get something in return, I think that becomes a pretty
slippery slope. I think that the way that the Secret
Society would look at it is help enough people get
what they want, period, And I just believe the rest
(39:20):
is going to take care of itself if you're only
doing something to get something. I don't know, but I
just love the purity of heart. If we actually just
wanted to help other people win, regardless of what would
then happen for us as a result of that. Well,
I can tell that you're someone that is able to
(39:40):
recognize what you are thankful for. And I don't know
if you have a daily gratitude practice or maybe even
a weekly Is there anything that you do to help
you focus on gratitude? Yeah, that that's it. I have
a little book called the five Minute Journal and a
few things that you fill out. One of those is
three things you're it ful f and then you know
(40:02):
three things that's going to make today great. And then
there's like a daily affirmation. You do all that in
the morning and then at night you write down, you know,
three amazing things that happened today and kind of a hey,
if I could do this over differently, like what you know,
what would I have done? But you know, gratitude is
a huge thing for me because I feel like you're
not thinking of things that you're grateful for. It's way
(40:23):
too easy to get hijack thinking about all the stuff
that you don't have. Oh yeah, for sure. My friend
Mary and I started a four Things gratitude journal and
this is the four Things podcast. But we made it
to support Haiti because that's where my kids are from
and we used to go there a lot when the
country wasn't complete turmoil, And so we work with an
organization they're called Project Meta Share and the journals get
(40:46):
back to education there and we're working on a third edition.
So we've done one point two point oh and the
three point coming out, and in the previous versions we
had Gratitude quotes kind of sprinkled throughout, like every ten pages.
And our goal for three point oh is to put
a quote on every page, which is a lot but
(41:10):
in finding like the right quotes that you want in
your book, and so I'm sure we could find one,
unless you know of one that could have. But I
would like to put a Tim shut quote in there,
so great and so you would just open it up
on any given day that you're going to write down
you just ours. Is kind of when we made the journal,
we did it in a way that wasn't intimidating at
(41:31):
all because journaling was overwhelming to us. We weren't journal
ers and now we're both better at it. But it
was like literally we put stickers in the back, you know,
for the days you don't have words, and that way
he could just put a sticker what you were thankful for.
And so you know, instead of having like big quotes,
you know, randomly every ten pages, we'll have one on
every page. So I would like, I would like a
(41:54):
Tim Sure gratitude quote. I'm gonna I want to spend
some time about you can you can text it to
me later. But we have a hundred and nineteen so
far's I need more. So I'd like one from Tim
because I feel like you would have something perfect that
could be the right encouragement for someone on that day
that they finally get to that page and they're writing
(42:16):
down four things that they're thankful for. And since we're
talking about that, I was going to have you do
four things gratitude with us. I have a free free
flow version, or you get to just name four things
your thing before randomly, or I have a specific version
where I ask a Instagram follow, a TV show, a book,
and a drink that you are thankful for. And I thought,
(42:39):
we'll do the assigned. That's perfect, So I'm gonna have
you take it away, all right, So let's start with
the TV show. This Man in the Arena shows pretty great.
I'm going to ask you more about that. The more
I've learned about Tom Brady, the more I love them
and to watch it ESPN Plus. Okay, and I think
there's a lot of haters for Tom Brady, which you know,
(43:01):
it is what it is, but I don't even the
more I love him, So it would be that I've
been just so fascinated by that whole show, and you
know how he shows up. I think it's really cool
Instagram follow I gotta go my boy Steve Mogler because
he has this new record out called Make a Little Room.
The more time I spend with Steve, and I've known
(43:23):
him for a long time now, when I'm following him online,
seeing the stuff that he posts, listening to his music,
I feel like he is a person that really centers
me on what it is that actually matters in life.
Because I think about what success is, it's so easy
to get distracted. But Steve's songs, I think just center
you on helping to remind yourself what really really matters.
(43:46):
So I love Steve. I just used to make a
Little Room in a reel that I made the other day.
I put it up. My sister just dropped my niece
off at Boulder Colorado University or University of Colorado, but
it's called see You. It's so confusing. But anyway, starting
her freshman year, and my sister decorated her dorm. And
my sister decorates things so cute. She has such a gift.
And I was like, Mike, nothing like this was this
(44:08):
cute for me in college. So she had a little
video of her setup and so I posted it as
a real and I used them make a Little Room
as the song in the background because it was a
little room. The dorm is a little room, but they
made it. They made it there's and they make a
little Room. And it's basically for make the life that
(44:28):
you want to make, things that matter, make space for that.
And I love that song. Yeah, I did too. Two
other songs on that record which I really love Let's
go to the Lake, great song, and then better Days.
So there's even you know, there's some bonus stuff to
check out. Okay, what are my other two? I need
a drink and a book. A drink, and I'm really
(44:50):
thankful for I really love some drip coffee every morning.
And there was a time when I was I had
a lot of anxiety, and I realized that the more
caffeine I was drinking it was just aiding to the anxiety,
and so I had to kind of like step away
from it for a little while. But I've started to
introduce it back and now I just go drink a
half a cup of coffee. Half a cup is all
(45:12):
I need and I'm good. But if I get too much,
I get a little amped. You can probably hear my voice.
I don't need a whole lot of energy, like I'm
ready to rock, like you were born with something. But
I do love me a little bit of good tasting coffee.
But that's good that you know yourself and that some
people don't realize at times that the caffeine or coffee
might be adding to their anxiety. Oh yeah, and I,
(45:36):
through counseling, realized I was I had anxiety. I've never
even said that word out loud. I started getting anxious
at how often I was feeling anxious. It's like, oh
my gosh, if I've been feeling this, you know, So
to now be in a space I feel a little
bit more centered than doing some you know, really good work.
And so being able to introduce caffeine back, it's the thing.
(45:57):
I'm great because I missed it to get to know
your body and get to know what it's telling you.
Have you read Body Keeps the Score? No, it's so long.
You can listen to it too. You can listen to
it and have the actual books so that way you
can reference it almost like a textbook and for highlighting.
But then you can listen to it. I've heard so
(46:18):
much about that book and then I looked at how
long it was and I'm like, I don't know if
I can hang for this long, is it worth it?
It's pretty fascinating, Okay, I need to give it a chance. Yeah. Well, anyway,
learning about yourself and learning about what for some people
they don't even realize. My sister had an anxiety attack,
a full ball panic attack. She thought she was having
a heart attack, and she had to go to the
(46:39):
hospital in the middle of the night and she was claiming,
I am having a heart attack. And then they gave
her at a van which is for anxiety, and she
got better and she's like, okay, but what about my
heart And they're like, no, no, that was causing your
heart pain. Like you're good, You're going to be able
to go home. But she was freaking out because she
had never experienced anything like it. But once you do,
now you can start to know and you can do
(47:00):
things too, at least for her. Everybody is different. It
might be medication. It might be that you have a
checklist of things that you do when you feel it
coming on, you know, the five senses checklist. I'm gonna
see something, touch something, smells, something, tastes something, here's something
and identify all of your senses and it will help
bring you back centered. So people have different things that
(47:21):
they do to help them through it. I think if
there is a thing that I want even more of,
it's just self awareness of you know, my body. Are
the things that that how I'm behaving, why I treated
you that way? Not you, but you know what? Thank you? Okay?
(47:44):
So your drink is half a cup of drip coffee,
just black, okay. And then book, which obviously I don't
think you would say The Secret Society of Success because
that's your own book, but I'm going to remind people
about that. That's the name and I'll link it in
the show notes so that way people can find it easily.
But what is a book that you would recommend. There's
(48:06):
this book that I read by Elizabeth Gilbert called Big Magic.
It's a great book. I just was so inspired by it.
I love that book so much. That's the one that
I read recently that I just get pumped about. Another one,
if I can say to John A. Cuff has this
book called Soundtracks, and it's about kind of the things
(48:27):
that we tell ourselves. It's about overthinking and I realized
through that book. How often I am in my head
about things, you know, he says. So when you have
a thought, which he calls a soundtrack, you have the
ability to determine if it's just a soundtrack or a
broken soundtrack. And an example of this is before I
(48:48):
was to record my audio book, I had this broken
soundtrack that for some reason I wouldn't do well. And
it was crazy. Why I kept spinning that narrator of
in my head over and over and over. It had
no basis. I can communicate well, I can read well.
I'm not sure why I had that thought. But what
(49:10):
John has you do is you write down the soundtrack
to bring awareness to the fact that this has been
spinning in your head. So when I read his book,
I realized, oh my gosh, I've been having the soundtrack
about me narrating this audiobook for a really long time.
So I write it down. And then you ask a
few questions around it. Is it true, like, is that
(49:31):
thing true? You're not gonna, you know, do while reading
your audiobook? Is it helpful? And is it kind like this?
On the second question, is it helpful? Does it cause
you to act or to shrink? Right? And then is
it kind. Is it a thing that you would tell
your friend, None of my friends, what I've ever said,
You're not going to do well in your audiobook. Right,
So I'm able to identify it's a broken soundtrack. And
(49:53):
so then he has you write a new soundtrack, replace
that broken soundtrack with a new one. So I started
to say over and over and again to myself, when
I prepare, I always perform well. So I prepared, and
I walked out of me recording the audio book after
the three days, and I was thinking about this broken soundtrack,
and I just started to cry because I was really
(50:15):
proud of myself for having done it. And when I
was most proud of is overcoming that broken soundtrack. And
so many of us have these in our lives, and
it's so important that we write them down and replace
these broken soundtracks. So if there's another book that's made
a pretty big impact on me, it's it's that one.
It's a great book. And he actually just wrote a
(50:36):
book with his daughters, like a teenage version of that
that I you know, and I don't have teenagers, but
I also very fascinated to read it because I think
this younger generation also needs to start to identify these
broken soundtracks in their heads. Well, Tim, thank you so
much for coming on. And I do love your personality
(50:56):
and your smile. You are just You've been a joy
ever since you walked through my front door, and you're
making me smile. Hasn't eOne ever told you that your
smile is contagious time or two, so I just I'm
so grateful that you sent this to Gracie to give
to me The Secret Society of Success. My brother in
(51:18):
law is also working his way through it. He's a
big fan. I kept thinking he was going to text
me back while I was interviewing you to see if
you had any questions for you. He must be busy
because he has not gotten back to me yet. But
his name's Ben Doser, and maybe I'll have you. Maybe
we can make him a voice memo. Let's do it
voice text for you. What up, dude, change your dreams,
(51:39):
reach for the stars. You can do it. We'll only
make a six month plan with your palms over already,
say palms up, palms up, ready to just receive whatever happens.
You know, open hands, evolving, pivoting. You know, if you're
not evolving, you're dead. It's right, Okay, Tim, where can
people find you? My name is ridiculously hard to spell,
so I'm just gonna say, go to Secret Society book
(52:01):
dot com. That is the hub for all the things
Secret Society book dot com. And I love that. Like
you probably weren't intending this in a way when you
go there, or you're like a part of it, you
feel like you're in this secret club. You everyone can
be a part of the Secret Society, right, define success
for yourself. You're in. You're in. Well, Thank you, Tim,
(52:24):
and we will see you next time. I would love
to have you back. We can talk about this or
your next book or another project, or just anything else
in life, because you're awesome to talk to. Thank you
so much. Thank you,
Okay, cass up little food for you. So life. Oh
it's pretty Bay, it's pretty beautiful. Thank you, laugh a
(00:23):
little moth, tighten up, kicking with four Happy Thursday, four
Things fam. My guest today is Tim Sure did I
get that right to him? And it's so fun to
have Tim on because my friend Gracy Mokler, who's come
(00:44):
on the podcast multiple times and then I just talked
about her as my friend occasionally here and they're married
to Steve Mokler, who has also come on the podcast. Before.
I was over at her house for a girl's night
actually with our mutual friend Ali Fallon, also been on
the podcast, and we were walking out and she thought, oh,
I think I might have something in my mailbox for you.
And she goes over to the mailbox and opens it
(01:06):
up and there's a package from you to her to
give to me, and it's your new book, The Secret
Society of Success, Stop Chasing the Spotlight and Learned to
Enjoy your work and life Again. Before we get into
your book, Tim, you have to tell people we were
just showing me when we weren't recording. It's something you've
(01:27):
been doing for a year and it's amazing and I
feel like everybody's gonna want to do this. But you
took a one second video here in the podcast room
and you uploaded it as your one second for the day.
But you that's what you do every day, and you
put on an app eight years. You've been doing here
for eight years. Eight years. See, you have one second
a day every day for the past eight years. And
then I created a second little feed when my dog
(01:51):
when I got a puppy, so I have the first
year of a puppy's life growing up, one second every day.
It's the sweetest thing. So I heard this guy who
created the app speak at an event in Portland, and
I download the app then, and what it does is
each day you select a video from your camera role
(02:13):
and you just choose a little one second snippet. And
then what it does is it compiles all of those
seconds together and in the bottom left the date you know,
counts one day at a time, and so you just
see on the screen the one second clip. And it's
amazing because it's so hard to try to journal and
(02:35):
write down all these various memories, but I don't want
to forget them, and one second of video is enough.
I mean I'll see that one second of you and
I sitting here, and I'll have so many memories of
today because of one little, you know, second snippet. This
is the coolest thing ever, and I need to remember
to start this. But so the app is called one
(02:56):
Second every Day, Okay, one second every day or one
second a day, one second every day, one the exact one,
because obviously you're a fan of it. You've been using
it for eight year or so one second every day.
And should I be too caught up in the fact
that we're over halfway through the year, Should I start
now or do I need to start in January? We'll
start now. And so when you search for it in
(03:18):
the app store, the number one the number one second
every day, and the logo is kind of like a
black background with the number one with kind of like
some film strips in front of it. I am excited it.
And so what I do is every six months, I
export the video and create a three minute video. So
(03:40):
if you to do a whole year, it'd be about
six minutes long. But I do January one to the
end of June, and that's about a three minute video,
and then July one the end of the year is
kind of the end of the year, and so I
have six minutes times eight years to just catch you up.
And what I what I love about it too, is
(04:00):
it forces you to think about what is it today
that's a little bit different. There's gonna be some days
when it's me sitting there at my desk whatever. I
was like, Hey, this this encapsulates the day. Sometimes that's
what it is. But I try to just find what's
the thing that maybe it's a little unique or different,
and I try to get a one second video of it.
(04:22):
And it's one of my favorite things. I've been doing
it for forever. And what I love too is if
you forget, you can just go back into your camera
roll and choose the things you don't have to record
that one second in the apper. You know, it's like
lose it. You actually just can pull from your camera.
You probably have more videos than you even realize. You
could probably go back for the last how many ever
(04:43):
months of the year and pull together a pretty good one.
And what I love about the app two is on
the days that you miss, it's not like a blank spot.
It just cuts together all the days that you do
have awesome Okay, I'm even though nobody's selling anything that
I am signing, it's amazing. I'm so glad that you
showed me that before we started, because people are gonna
love this and I'm gonna love it, and it's just
(05:04):
a way, like a simple way to document and they're
doing all the work for you. You just have to
make sure that it's loaded into the app. Very cool.
Thank you for sharing that with us. So we're going
to talk about this book that you wrote, which is fascinating.
And some of the endorsements on the back are some
other friends of mine, like Bob Goff and Scott Hamilton's
(05:25):
the Best. Ernie Johnson Jr. I don't know him that
these are just other people that endorse him or endorsed
the book. Oh Blake, the founder of Thom's, I don't
know him either, but I'm just using first name basis.
So I'm very excited just to talk with you and
all that you do and all that you want to
do to empower people to live their best life, even
if it's not in the spotlight. I do feel this crazy,
(05:48):
weird confusion at times with what in the world did
we do before social media? Because things operated, businesses ran
things so old the economy went on without having to
have this presence on Instagram or TikTok in the spotlight. Yeah.
(06:09):
I remember sitting in one of my first meetings with
the publisher and they said, Tim, we need you to
post more on social media, and I'm like, dang it,
do I and they're explaining what reels are. I just
felt like the oldest person ever not even understanding these things.
I'm not old. I didn't even know what a real was. Okay,
(06:30):
but how old are you? But oldest relative? Okay, your
thirty six, so you're five years younger than me, and
you were even feeling this. And it takes a village,
It takes a team. There's one of the first things
you talk about in your book is you talk about
Neil Armstrong being the first person to walk on the moon.
So we know that he was the first step, and
(06:53):
then we know that Buzz was there because he's a
second person. But then there was someone piloting the ship.
Do you know the man's name? Probably most people probably
do not. And that's what's so crazy is everyone knows
Apollo Levin. But as we think about how that whole
thing happened, there's this guy named Michael Collins, so he
(07:14):
uber's meal and buzz to the moon and then drops
them off. They do all the things they need to
do on the Moon's surface, while he actually gets all
the way to the moon but has to stay in
the command module orbits the moon something like twenty six
times until those guys are ready to be picked up
and brought back to Earth, which is crucial. They write
(07:36):
they need a ride home. But what I think is
so interesting about this story is when he gets back
to Earth and sits down with the press, he talks
about how content he was to have had one of
those three seats. And why that's even interesting and fascinating
for us is because he was content playing a role
(07:58):
behind the scenes when all of the cultural narratives, the
messaging is to be successful, you need to be the
one who's walking on the moon. But I think the
question for all of us is, do you need to
walk on the moon to be happy? That is the
only way that you can be successful in your life
(08:18):
if you're the one who takes steps on the moon,
or is there another approach. Can we show up a
little bit differently where we're content in the role that
we play on whatever team that we're on. Is that
a possibility Because for so many people, the way that
they think about success is just what is being handed
(08:40):
to them. But we've not taken time to really ask
ourselves what success is for each of us and then
how that new definition can impact how we show up
in all these other areas of our lives. So it's
not the big like what society says it's is successful.
And that's why this is the secret society just to
excess because not many people are living this way. Hopefully
(09:05):
now that your book is out there and people are
reading it and some people, maybe through other means, have
adopted this way of thinking. But I love that you
took the time to share that all roles are important
and giving people that validation of you don't have to
chase the spotlight to be successful or ultimately happy. One
of my favorite songs we're talking about Steve Moakler. We
(09:27):
could talk for a long time about how much I
love Steve Vlkler. I managed him for three and a
half years, so I got to spend a lot of
time with Steve, love him. One of my favorite songs
of his is a song called Humble operations. There's a
line that talks about, you know, whether you're your white
collar or blue collar. These people, a lot of these
blue collar folks. They built the world we're living in.
(09:51):
And I love that word that use validation, because what
I hope this book offers people is that validation to
just live into your role, play your part. Every role matters.
So if you think about a concert, for example, right,
so the person in the center of the stage, we
need them to do their thing. We need people standing
(10:11):
center stage in the spotlight. But we also need the
person running sound, we need the backing guitarists, we need
the person taking tickets. I have no problem with the
fact that there are people in the spotlight. What I
have a problem with is when people try to talk
about it as though that is the only thing that matters,
(10:32):
and that then should be the aspiration for all of us.
And you know, I call this group of people the
Secret Society of Success. These are people who have shown
me that we can look at success a little bit differently.
And you know what I found is being in the
Secret Society actually has little to do with your place
on the ORC chart. Whether you're standing in the center
(10:53):
of the stage, or not. Being in the Secret Society
has more to do with how you show up. Are
you willing to define success as someone who helps others win?
Or are you somebody who shows up and is constantly
making it all about you? And if there is a
common denominator for what it looks like to be in
the Secret Society, it's that helping others win, serving others,
(11:15):
showing up in that way. Whether you are you know
a name that everyone knows, like a Neil Armstrong or
a buzz Aldrin, or maybe you are in a role
like Michael Collins, I think we all can adopt this
help others win approach and mindset and way of defining success.
I think more of us can do that today, more
than you know. Maybe we are. In the introduction, it
(11:36):
says the success you're looking for. There's a message getting
a lot of airtime these days. It says to be successful,
you have to step into the spotlight, climb the ladder,
become the boss, or chase whatever version of success that's
been dangled in front of you. But what if there's
another way? What if fame, money and power aren't all
that we should be chasing. I'll show you how to
reevaluate your definition of success and learn a new, freeer
(11:59):
way to go about achieving it. Here's the best news.
The success you're looking for is within your reach, wherever
you are and whatever your role. And I love that
because I am reading this and applying it to my
life and trying to figure out where am I content
with my role? And yes, I may have one job
where it is in a spotlight of sorts, but that
(12:21):
isn't mean to have to show up on every single
spotlight stage. There is pressure out there for that, and
I know there's pressure like that for a lot of people.
But really trying to step back and assess what is
making me happy? What is bringing me fulfillment when I'm working, Like,
what am I proud of at the end of the day.
What is filling my cup up? What is draining me?
What's interesting is I've been working on this book. Is
(12:43):
there is a team of people behind the scenes making
any book happen. Ali Fallon, who you also mentioned she
helped me write this book. You know her name is
not on the cover, but without Ali, this book wouldn't
have happened. But there's also editors and you know, proof
readers and if you think about the role of an
editor integral part of creating a book, making the whole
(13:05):
thing happen. And so I think if if an editor
were to pay attention to the cultural narratives, it's for
them to be successful. They need to be the author,
the one whose name is on the front cover. I
think there's a pressure for them to step into that
or evolve into that kind of a role. But what
(13:26):
about the editor who's really content being an editor. They
love their job as an editor, they don't want to
be an author, but yet they're feeling this pressure that
they have to keep evolving and getting more and more
into the spotlight. And I think that there are a
lot of editors out there, you know, and and so
many different professions that are feeling this pressure to become
(13:49):
a thing, step into this next role when maybe the
success that they're looking for is exactly where they are today.
And I think what it comes down to is define
finding what success is for you and living into that
definition rather than mindlessly living according to a definition that
(14:09):
somebody else handed to you. When did you decide you
had this book in you and you wanted to write it,
and why did you feel the need to get it
out there about five years ago. You mentioned Bob Goff earlier.
(14:31):
So I was at this event that he hosted called
dream Big. And at the end of this two days,
they go around the room and ask everybody, what's your
big dream? And I said, out loud for the first time,
I want to write a book. And when I said that,
it's just a thing I thought would be fun to
figure out a big challenge that I could make progress
(14:52):
towards over time. But I spent the last ten years
as the right hand to Donald Miller running Story Brand
and Business made Simple, and so I didn't want to
write a book as a means of launching into a
new career. I just had a dream. I thought it
would be fun, so I said that out loud. Then
you know, Bob started calling me and texting me and
(15:14):
asking how progress was going on the book. And one
step after the next, I get a book publishing deal,
and now here we are closer to launching this book.
And you know, I'm really proud to have done it
and all the work and everything that I had learned
to get to that point. But you have a dream
of writing a book, the next thing that comes is
(15:36):
what do you want to write about. What do you
feel passionate about that you know causes you to spend
all of the time researching and writing and and I
just felt like there's a lot of conversations around success,
but I just didn't feel like anyone was giving any
real solutions or anything that we can do about it.
There's this what do we do when kids want to
(15:58):
be YouTube stars? That's what they say they want to be.
They don't want to be firefighters anymore. They want to
be YouTube stars. They want to be famous. They want
to monetize from Instagram they see. I know, my father
had said the same thing. If I run our cats Instagram,
maybe it could make money. And I'm like, it's just
not that simple, okay. And so this is the world
(16:20):
we're living in. And so I felt like I was
My antenna was up knowing I wanted to write a book.
My antenna was up for the things that I'm seeing.
And you know what really drew my attention, and this
was it. This was this conversation. And there was a
season in my life when I wanted to be the
next John Mayor, and that's a whole other story, but
I wanted to be a famous musician ultimately filled in that,
(16:42):
and I found as I stepped further and further away
from the spotlight into roles behind the scenes, whether it
was you know, working alongside Steve behind the scenes, or
then spending the last ten years with Donald Miller behind
the scenes. But didn't you also work for Tom's too?
I did, Yeah, And I spent some time at Apple
as well, and just found that being a part of
(17:05):
a team contributing in the way that I was able to.
I found so much fulfillment and contentment in that. And
it had very little to do with people knowing who
I was. And so as as there's these messages that
are saying that success looks like only this one thing,
I was really conflicted because that wasn't my experience. In fact,
(17:26):
the thing that I wanted, the you know, fulfillment in
my life and career that I was looking for, I
was finding in rolls behind the scenes. And I just
started thinking, I don't think I'm the only one. Surely
there are other people who feel conflicted on this journey.
Oh for sure. I think that the challenge is very
(17:47):
powerful is to check where you are with things. And
that's even something you touch on in chapter two with
different questions for the spotlight mindset, like asking yourself like
do you struggle to find contentment in your life? Does
it lead you on a restless pursuit for more like
that's if you're striving? Is their comparison going on? Do
(18:08):
you wish you were someone else? Or wonder how your
success stacks up against others? Are you jealous in a
way that gets in your way damage relationships? Does money, fame,
or status trump other things in your life? Are your
relationships suffering because of it? Do you have a fear
of failure? Are you seeking validation selfishness? If there is
a thing that is keeping us from the Secret Society,
(18:30):
I think it's this. It's the spotlight mindset, which I
just simply defined as an unhealthy desire for attention, recognition,
which is a final one seeking influence. Do you believe
you need a bigger stage to have a life of significance?
And I love that you are reminding us in this
whole book. No, you don't. I mean some people might
(18:51):
that if that's what they feel like they're called to do, right,
But you don't have to have that to be significant.
Everybody's roles in important You don't need a stage to
make an impact. You don't. And I heard a guy
named Andy Stanley say, what if your greatest contribution is
not in something you do, but in someone you raise?
(19:15):
Would an impact on one life one of your kids
be enough for you? Like, if you look back at
your entire life and the one significant impact you made
on a human being was in one of your children,
would you look at your life and say that was
a success Or do you need to feel like you
impacted hundreds or thousands to really feel like your life mattered.
(19:38):
That's an honest question. I think everyone needs to answer
that for themselves. There's been somebody who I've been really
inspired by. Its Becca Stevens, who's the founder of Thistle Farms.
And Thistle Farms is an amazing organization in Nashville. And
you know, they help women get off the streets from
lives of prostitution, drug addiction, trafficking, and they help them
(19:59):
find you know, recovery from all of that. And you know,
Becca Stevens is who founded that and she started by
helping five women get off the streets. Well here we
are now, I mean that was several years later, and
that impact, that one life at a time, approach has
(20:22):
accumulated into a pretty significant reach a lot of people
that she has touched. I remember talking with one of
the women in Thistle Farms, someone who had graduated through
their program, and I said, where would you be without
Becca Stevens influence in your life? And she didn't hesitate.
She said, I'd be dead. Without Becca, I'd be dead.
(20:45):
And when I think about Becca's life and the impact
that she's made, I feel like, as she here's a
story like that, all of the work would have been
worth it to save that one person or to make
a positive influence in that one person's life. And yet
this message of making an impact in one person's life,
(21:08):
whether it's your neighbor, somebody that you're connected to, a sibling,
a spouse, I think that a lot of people maybe
feel like they're not enough, that they don't have the
kind of influence that they want to feel successful. But
I hope that even just in hearing the last few
minutes is you and I are talking about this, that
people can find fulfillment and validation impacting the lives of
(21:32):
the people closest to them, and maybe one life at
a time is enough. Do you know the starfish story
about this old man's walking down the beach and he
sees a little boy throwing starfish. And there's thousands of
starfish in the ocean or on the sand and little
boys throwing them back in. And the old man said
(21:53):
something like, what are you doing crazy? There's so many
you can you can't make a difference here. And the
little boy picked up to the starfish, threw it in
the ocean and looked at the old man and said,
I've made a difference for that one. And so that's
exactly what that is. And it also to speaking of Gracie,
it makes me think of her when she started Miriam
Designs in her attic making jewelry and then ended up
(22:16):
selling to Abel, which now still employs some of those
original women that were transitioning out of homeless lifestyle. And
you know, they faced a lot of adversity and they
just needed someone to believe in them. And that's what
Gracie did in her attic by teaching them how to
make jewelry. Also, Stephen Young or you do you know him,
he's the founder of Home Street Home here in Nashville.
(22:38):
He's come on the podcast too, And I just think
of him and his impact. He was homeless himself for
five years and then now he's dedicated his life to
helping the homeless here in town. And the work he
is doing is just so amazing. And I'm like, this
is a guy that needs the spotlight, but I mean,
he doesn't want that, but he has a whole team
of people that make that possible. Other people that were
(23:00):
formerly homeless to show up every Saturday to volunteer to
go out and they feed different people and take supplies
and food all deep into the woods, like I went
on one Saturday and behind a home depot deep into
the woods. You have no idea there's these little communities
back there and people are living. But there's people that
show up every Saturday for those people to make sure
(23:21):
that they know that they are cared for and they
are loved. And you don't really hear necessarily about that,
but they're making that organization home street home. They make
it possible. So anyway, and I have this podcast called
Build a Winning Team, and I just did an interview
with Mignon Francois, who's the founder and CEO of the
Cupcake Collection, and she's so passionate about entrepreneurship. She talks
(23:44):
about entrepreneurs have a unique agitation. You see something out
in the world that you want to help solve, and
maybe other people can see it too, but you're the
one person who's raising your hand, like does everybody not
see this? And so you go and build the thing.
And I think the challenge for all of us is
(24:07):
there's probably something that you are passionate about, some kind
of impact that you want to make in the world,
that you uniquely are able to fix or solve. And
what I hope that people do is they take a
step towards trying to solve that problem, help other people,
help someone else win, and don't spend so much time
worrying about the kind of credit you'll get online or
(24:30):
the number of people that you're gonna be able to impact.
Just solve the problem for the person right in front
of you, for the thing that you uniquely are agitated by,
and just take steps in that direction. I think that's
some of the most important work, is just showing up
and doing that, but not really worrying about how much
attention or recognition you get for having done that. Are
(24:53):
you a planner? You do like a five year plan?
Do you have a vision board? Do you manifest things?
I mean either weather it's through prayer or like actually
making you know, a yearly January one cut out on
the magazines, glue it to poster board. What what are
you when it comes to your visions and dreams? Like
if you have an idea for something, where do you start?
(25:14):
So I do find that I kind of follow that
passion and I paid attention to how my passions and
my desires change. When I was twenty three, I started
working for Apple, and I thought, this is an environment
that I love. I felt so connected to that culture
and loved the product in the brand, and I said,
(25:35):
by the time I'm thirty, I want to run an
Apple store. That's what I thought my journey was going
to look like. But what's interesting is over a handful
of years, I started seeing my desires change. Where being
away from my wife at the time, she's still my life,
but it was only a wife. I didn't have kids then,
But seeing how I was struggling to be away on
(25:58):
nights and weekends, because is when you work in a
retail story, you're working nights and weekends and holidays, And
so I just felt my desires changing, and I just
pay attention to that and try to take the next step.
So I think you weren't John Mayor, by the way,
because you'd be on the road, which is great, right,
That's that's actually a really big part of of my
(26:19):
I mean, if I was selling a bunch of records, great,
But I'm so happy it didn't work out because a
life of a musician sometimes you're on the road two
fifty days a year or more, and that would not
have been a win for me. But I think in
I've always been more of like a six month out guy,
not like a six year out guy. I just kind
(26:41):
of look out on the rise, and I really do
like to head in a particular direction, but often with
like a bit of that palm's up mentality. I have
no idea what could happen, but I'm gonna keep taking
steps in the way that makes sense. I never thought
I would write a book and it be a you know,
career change, but you just kind of keep take in
the steps, and that's what happened. And I think that
(27:02):
that is kind of the way that I look at
some of these things. I dream up some of these things.
I don't have this hard map that I've written down.
I have no idea what the next six months of
my life is going to look like. I love that.
I'm always curious to see how creative people, or anybody
that's creating success for themselves in general, what is their plan.
Because some people have the five year plan and you
(27:24):
know exactly how they're gonna get there and what they're
gonna do, and they make it happen. But I love
that you're like, you know, six months out, palms up.
I don't know, you're open to evolving and growing and pivoting.
So you pivoted from Apple to where'd you go next?
So then I started working with Donald Miller, right, because
so when I was working at Apple on the side,
(27:45):
I was managing Steve and had this dream that I
was going to launch this artist management company and you know,
have Steve and maybe go try to find a couple
other artists. And then Don calls and wants me to
you know, work with him and launching this business. And well,
ten years later, well, and I mean, what y'all did,
if I remember the numbers correctly, it's bonkers how y'all
(28:06):
transitioned that or the work y'all did to create what
you all created and turned it into a multimillion dollar
thing and just stepped into that and all of a sudden,
I was not prepared for that dawn call to come,
but it happened. And then you know, even this next season,
I had a date on launching this book, and so
(28:27):
I feel like I got through. May the book comes out,
and now I'm like, I will know what the next
thing is from here. But here we go, all right?
So I have here, I have the numbers. Now, grew
the business from two hundred and fifty thousand to sixteen
point five million in annual revenue, and you've generated more
than twenty million podcast downloads. You've launched multiple best selling
(28:48):
books and on demand video courses, produced dozens of events
from person conference to a five thousand, five hundred person livestream.
That's amazing, and most importantly, built a culture where people
loved their work and would do whatever it took to
help one another and their customers win. I love that
y'all had that. Y'all want people to be upward and
(29:09):
onward and do your thing. We support you, We're here
for you. How can we learn and grow together? Not
everybody has that y'all want people to be upward and
onward and do your thing. We support you, We're here
(29:31):
for you. How can we learn and grow together? Not
everybody has that. Yeah, the team is the only thing
that really matters. I've been watching this show Man in
the Arena talking about Tom Brady, and you know, one
thing that I love hearing as I've been watching the
show is the Patriots didn't want to be announced this
individual players. They wanted to be announced as a team.
(29:53):
So rather than calling out individual players at the beginning
of the game, and you know, the starting quarterback Tom Brady,
they just wanted to be introduced as and now coming
onto the field the new England Patriots. And I think
that there's something so powerful when you think about the team. So, yeah,
I have the ability to have some of these numbers
(30:14):
that you just read out loud. That's a part of
the story. But to try to take credit for doing
any of that myself would be just crazy because there's
a whole team of people that made that happen. So
as much as it is about achieving a goal, I
think it's more important to think about the people that
you're doing it with and everyone winning together and I'm
(30:35):
most proud of the fact that that's the kind of
culture that we created. It was about locking arms together
and solving problems. H I love it. You know, we
were talking about how you're working for the or your
CEO for a nonprofit that was founded by David Novak,
who is the co founder and former CEO of Young Brands,
(30:56):
and we were talking about that culture there. And I
can assume whom it at Young Brands. I don't know
because I wasn't a part of that. But my family
was a part of a Taco Bell franchise based out
of Austin that you know, my sister's husband's family ran,
and my mom worked there for years, and my father
in law worked there for twentysomething years. And they were
(31:19):
all in the corporate office in Austin for this franchise,
which was called ost Taco. And you know, I don't
know if because Young Brands was that way. I'm not
quite sure where it all started. Maybe just their family
was this way, but they did so much to care
for every single employee, from the people working in this
Taco Bell stores, to the general managers, to the managers,
(31:42):
to the regional managers, everybody. I mean They did so
many things to bring everybody together, and they did the
Christmas bus store tour, which my mom was in charge
of planning. But they got in tour buses and they
went around to every single Taco Bell they had in Texas,
and there was over My mom would all always be
if it was getting close to bus tour times, She's like,
(32:03):
it's it's best tour time. I can't talk because she
was strategizing and planning, and they would take gifts to
the store and pot luck and show up and have
a Christmas party for all the employees at that Taco
Bell and then they would get on the bus and
on to the next And then every year they did
a big event as Schlitterbon. Do you know what is
It's a big water park in Texas. But my mom
also wasn't charged it out and she'd be like, it's
(32:23):
schlitter one season. Can't talk. But they would invite every
single Taco Bell employee and they could bring their whole family,
all their kids, spouses, whatever, and they checked in and
had a day at Schlitterbon water park and a huge
company picnic for lunch, and they wanted to show everybody
(32:45):
that worked there that they had value and they mattered,
and I would not every fast food restaurant places like that.
And David, when he was running young, he crewed the
business from four billion to thirty two billion dollars. And
the way he did it was by that creating a
culture of recognition where everyone felt like they mattered, that
(33:07):
they counted. And the way that he drove recognition in
the business is he knew as a leader, he's casting
a shadow. People do what they see their leader doing,
and so David would recognize people for doing the kinds
of behaviors that he knew would drive the business forward.
So if he's at a taco bell and saw someone
(33:30):
doing something right, he'd catch him in the act and
gave him what he would call a personal recognition award.
And then he'd say, Hey, I want to take a
picture with you, and I'll send you a copy of
the picture. Do whatever you want with your copy, but
I'm gonna take a copy and put your photo on
the wall in my office because when people walk into
the CEO S office, I want them to see your
(33:50):
picture and see the kinds of people who are making
stuff happen around here. And what happened is over time,
all of the wall space filled up, so he started
putting these pictures on the ceiling. And to build a
company where everyone felt like they mattered and that they
counted made all the difference for their business because I think,
(34:11):
you know, all this want to matter. We we we
want people to see us and and to value what
it is that we bring to the table each and
every day. And so it's pretty inspiring what what they
did at young And David talks about it, like he says,
all these people talk about stuff like recognition as soft skills,
stuff that doesn't really matter. But David said, it's the
(34:32):
sauce stuff that drives the hard results. So I love
that in business this stuff does matter. Recognizing people matters.
You know, Houston who works behind the scenes on this podcast,
If he's not doing his thing, this whole thing doesn't work.
Oh yeah, no, it would not get uploaded. So thank
you Houston for that. And just for some perspective. Sometimes
(34:56):
the a million versus a billion, it's like, what does
that even mean? It up and so I love that
dividing it into like the days and the years, Like
a million seconds is twelve days a billion seconds. Do
you know how many of this is it's thirty one years.
So that's the difference between a million and a billion.
A trillion seconds is thirty one thousand, six and eight years, so,
(35:22):
you know, because it's like, we don't know a lot
of what is a billion? Like what does that even mean?
But just for context, I think I saw Elon Musk
tweet that once and I was like, oh, that's a
good way to show the difference between a million and
a billion, and it's a lot. It's thirty one years
a lot. It's like a million seconds is only twelve days,
(35:43):
all right. So, Tim, if people are like, I don't
really know if this book is for me, what would
you say to them? If you're like, you know what,
maybe pick it up and give it a try, Like
why would you want someone to pick up this book?
You know? I would say, is it working for you?
Is the way that you're living life working or do
you have this feeling inside of you as we're talking
(36:07):
about some of the stuff that maybe the way that
you are looking at success today could perhaps use a
little bit of a shake up. And you know, at
the end of every podcast I always ask my guests,
I say, all right, finish the sentence for me, success
is m hmm, what is the number one answer? It
actually kind of comes from all over the place. What
(36:29):
I do know is no one says have a lot
of money become famous. That's not what anybody says. Like
I think we know what the answer is. But what
happens is if we're not intentional about filling in the
blank for ourselves and then living in alignment with that definition,
if we don't take the time to do it, what
(36:49):
happens is our brains just get hijacked from the world
that we live in, which everything in the world that
we hear is preaching the exact opposite. It's like, go
get yours, don't worry about the next person, you climb
the ladder, you take that position, you know, you be
the person who has more followers than your friend. But
I just don't think that if we look back on
(37:10):
our lives, that that's a definition of success that's actually
gonna be long lasting. So I think this book gives
some ideas for how we can look at success a
little bit differently to cause us to show up a
little bit differently, Because I really do think the world
around us matters if we get this right. We have
(37:31):
the ability to impact people, one life at a time.
If there's a north star for me as I was
working on this book is this quote by Albert Schweitzer,
and he says this, I don't know what your destiny
will be. Some of you will perhaps occupy remarkable positions.
Perhaps some of you will become famous by your pens
(37:52):
or as artists. But I know one thing. The only
ones among you who will be really happy are those
who have thought and found how to serve. And I
think that's it. What if we are the people that
show up in that way that starts to look at
success a little bit differently, that regardless if we're a
(38:14):
Neil or a Buzz or maybe we're a Michael Collins,
that we find contentment in the role that we play.
But at the end of the day, I hope that
more of us can actually show up trying to help
someone else win. And I think if we do that,
take steps in that direction, I think we're gonna be
on a much better path. You're talking the book too,
(38:35):
about Adam Grant talking about how there's givers and takes
love that book and so many people they feel like
to take is the way, but the whole book is
no No, No Give. And there's this quote by zig Zigler.
He says, help enough people get what they want and
eventually you'll get what you want. And I don't it's
(38:56):
a good start, but there's a part of that quote
that I don't like, and I don't like the transactional
nature of it. Right, Like, if we are only helping
other people get what they want so that we can
get something in return, I think that becomes a pretty
slippery slope. I think that the way that the Secret
Society would look at it is help enough people get
what they want, period, And I just believe the rest
(39:20):
is going to take care of itself if you're only
doing something to get something. I don't know, but I
just love the purity of heart. If we actually just
wanted to help other people win, regardless of what would
then happen for us as a result of that. Well,
I can tell that you're someone that is able to
(39:40):
recognize what you are thankful for. And I don't know
if you have a daily gratitude practice or maybe even
a weekly Is there anything that you do to help
you focus on gratitude? Yeah, that that's it. I have
a little book called the five Minute Journal and a
few things that you fill out. One of those is
three things you're it ful f and then you know
(40:02):
three things that's going to make today great. And then
there's like a daily affirmation. You do all that in
the morning and then at night you write down, you know,
three amazing things that happened today and kind of a hey,
if I could do this over differently, like what you know,
what would I have done? But you know, gratitude is
a huge thing for me because I feel like you're
not thinking of things that you're grateful for. It's way
(40:23):
too easy to get hijack thinking about all the stuff
that you don't have. Oh yeah, for sure. My friend
Mary and I started a four Things gratitude journal and
this is the four Things podcast. But we made it
to support Haiti because that's where my kids are from
and we used to go there a lot when the
country wasn't complete turmoil, And so we work with an
organization they're called Project Meta Share and the journals get
(40:46):
back to education there and we're working on a third edition.
So we've done one point two point oh and the
three point coming out, and in the previous versions we
had Gratitude quotes kind of sprinkled throughout, like every ten pages.
And our goal for three point oh is to put
a quote on every page, which is a lot but
(41:10):
in finding like the right quotes that you want in
your book, and so I'm sure we could find one,
unless you know of one that could have. But I
would like to put a Tim shut quote in there,
so great and so you would just open it up
on any given day that you're going to write down
you just ours. Is kind of when we made the journal,
we did it in a way that wasn't intimidating at
(41:31):
all because journaling was overwhelming to us. We weren't journal
ers and now we're both better at it. But it
was like literally we put stickers in the back, you know,
for the days you don't have words, and that way
he could just put a sticker what you were thankful for.
And so you know, instead of having like big quotes,
you know, randomly every ten pages, we'll have one on
every page. So I would like, I would like a
(41:54):
Tim Sure gratitude quote. I'm gonna I want to spend
some time about you can you can text it to
me later. But we have a hundred and nineteen so
far's I need more. So I'd like one from Tim
because I feel like you would have something perfect that
could be the right encouragement for someone on that day
that they finally get to that page and they're writing
(42:16):
down four things that they're thankful for. And since we're
talking about that, I was going to have you do
four things gratitude with us. I have a free free
flow version, or you get to just name four things
your thing before randomly, or I have a specific version
where I ask a Instagram follow, a TV show, a book,
and a drink that you are thankful for. And I thought,
(42:39):
we'll do the assigned. That's perfect, So I'm gonna have
you take it away, all right, So let's start with
the TV show. This Man in the Arena shows pretty great.
I'm going to ask you more about that. The more
I've learned about Tom Brady, the more I love them
and to watch it ESPN Plus. Okay, and I think
there's a lot of haters for Tom Brady, which you know,
(43:01):
it is what it is, but I don't even the
more I love him, So it would be that I've
been just so fascinated by that whole show, and you
know how he shows up. I think it's really cool
Instagram follow I gotta go my boy Steve Mogler because
he has this new record out called Make a Little Room.
The more time I spend with Steve, and I've known
(43:23):
him for a long time now, when I'm following him online,
seeing the stuff that he posts, listening to his music,
I feel like he is a person that really centers
me on what it is that actually matters in life.
Because I think about what success is, it's so easy
to get distracted. But Steve's songs, I think just center
you on helping to remind yourself what really really matters.
(43:46):
So I love Steve. I just used to make a
Little Room in a reel that I made the other day.
I put it up. My sister just dropped my niece
off at Boulder Colorado University or University of Colorado, but
it's called see You. It's so confusing. But anyway, starting
her freshman year, and my sister decorated her dorm. And
my sister decorates things so cute. She has such a gift.
And I was like, Mike, nothing like this was this
(44:08):
cute for me in college. So she had a little
video of her setup and so I posted it as
a real and I used them make a Little Room
as the song in the background because it was a
little room. The dorm is a little room, but they
made it. They made it there's and they make a
little Room. And it's basically for make the life that
(44:28):
you want to make, things that matter, make space for that.
And I love that song. Yeah, I did too. Two
other songs on that record which I really love Let's
go to the Lake, great song, and then better Days.
So there's even you know, there's some bonus stuff to
check out. Okay, what are my other two? I need
a drink and a book. A drink, and I'm really
(44:50):
thankful for I really love some drip coffee every morning.
And there was a time when I was I had
a lot of anxiety, and I realized that the more
caffeine I was drinking it was just aiding to the anxiety,
and so I had to kind of like step away
from it for a little while. But I've started to
introduce it back and now I just go drink a
half a cup of coffee. Half a cup is all
(45:12):
I need and I'm good. But if I get too much,
I get a little amped. You can probably hear my voice.
I don't need a whole lot of energy, like I'm
ready to rock, like you were born with something. But
I do love me a little bit of good tasting coffee.
But that's good that you know yourself and that some
people don't realize at times that the caffeine or coffee
might be adding to their anxiety. Oh yeah, and I,
(45:36):
through counseling, realized I was I had anxiety. I've never
even said that word out loud. I started getting anxious
at how often I was feeling anxious. It's like, oh
my gosh, if I've been feeling this, you know, So
to now be in a space I feel a little
bit more centered than doing some you know, really good work.
And so being able to introduce caffeine back, it's the thing.
(45:57):
I'm great because I missed it to get to know
your body and get to know what it's telling you.
Have you read Body Keeps the Score? No, it's so long.
You can listen to it too. You can listen to
it and have the actual books so that way you
can reference it almost like a textbook and for highlighting.
But then you can listen to it. I've heard so
(46:18):
much about that book and then I looked at how
long it was and I'm like, I don't know if
I can hang for this long, is it worth it?
It's pretty fascinating, Okay, I need to give it a chance. Yeah. Well, anyway,
learning about yourself and learning about what for some people
they don't even realize. My sister had an anxiety attack,
a full ball panic attack. She thought she was having
a heart attack, and she had to go to the
(46:39):
hospital in the middle of the night and she was claiming,
I am having a heart attack. And then they gave
her at a van which is for anxiety, and she
got better and she's like, okay, but what about my
heart And they're like, no, no, that was causing your
heart pain. Like you're good, You're going to be able
to go home. But she was freaking out because she
had never experienced anything like it. But once you do,
now you can start to know and you can do
(47:00):
things too, at least for her. Everybody is different. It
might be medication. It might be that you have a
checklist of things that you do when you feel it
coming on, you know, the five senses checklist. I'm gonna
see something, touch something, smells, something, tastes something, here's something
and identify all of your senses and it will help
bring you back centered. So people have different things that
(47:21):
they do to help them through it. I think if
there is a thing that I want even more of,
it's just self awareness of you know, my body. Are
the things that that how I'm behaving, why I treated
you that way? Not you, but you know what? Thank you? Okay?
(47:44):
So your drink is half a cup of drip coffee,
just black, okay. And then book, which obviously I don't
think you would say The Secret Society of Success because
that's your own book, but I'm going to remind people
about that. That's the name and I'll link it in
the show notes so that way people can find it easily.
But what is a book that you would recommend. There's
(48:06):
this book that I read by Elizabeth Gilbert called Big Magic.
It's a great book. I just was so inspired by it.
I love that book so much. That's the one that
I read recently that I just get pumped about. Another one,
if I can say to John A. Cuff has this
book called Soundtracks, and it's about kind of the things
(48:27):
that we tell ourselves. It's about overthinking and I realized
through that book. How often I am in my head
about things, you know, he says. So when you have
a thought, which he calls a soundtrack, you have the
ability to determine if it's just a soundtrack or a
broken soundtrack. And an example of this is before I
(48:48):
was to record my audio book, I had this broken
soundtrack that for some reason I wouldn't do well. And
it was crazy. Why I kept spinning that narrator of
in my head over and over and over. It had
no basis. I can communicate well, I can read well.
I'm not sure why I had that thought. But what
(49:10):
John has you do is you write down the soundtrack
to bring awareness to the fact that this has been
spinning in your head. So when I read his book,
I realized, oh my gosh, I've been having the soundtrack
about me narrating this audiobook for a really long time.
So I write it down. And then you ask a
few questions around it. Is it true, like, is that
(49:31):
thing true? You're not gonna, you know, do while reading
your audiobook? Is it helpful? And is it kind like this?
On the second question, is it helpful? Does it cause
you to act or to shrink? Right? And then is
it kind. Is it a thing that you would tell
your friend, None of my friends, what I've ever said,
You're not going to do well in your audiobook. Right,
So I'm able to identify it's a broken soundtrack. And
(49:53):
so then he has you write a new soundtrack, replace
that broken soundtrack with a new one. So I started
to say over and over and again to myself, when
I prepare, I always perform well. So I prepared, and
I walked out of me recording the audio book after
the three days, and I was thinking about this broken soundtrack,
and I just started to cry because I was really
(50:15):
proud of myself for having done it. And when I
was most proud of is overcoming that broken soundtrack. And
so many of us have these in our lives, and
it's so important that we write them down and replace
these broken soundtracks. So if there's another book that's made
a pretty big impact on me, it's it's that one.
It's a great book. And he actually just wrote a
(50:36):
book with his daughters, like a teenage version of that
that I you know, and I don't have teenagers, but
I also very fascinated to read it because I think
this younger generation also needs to start to identify these
broken soundtracks in their heads. Well, Tim, thank you so
much for coming on. And I do love your personality
(50:56):
and your smile. You are just You've been a joy
ever since you walked through my front door, and you're
making me smile. Hasn't eOne ever told you that your
smile is contagious time or two, so I just I'm
so grateful that you sent this to Gracie to give
to me The Secret Society of Success. My brother in
(51:18):
law is also working his way through it. He's a
big fan. I kept thinking he was going to text
me back while I was interviewing you to see if
you had any questions for you. He must be busy
because he has not gotten back to me yet. But
his name's Ben Doser, and maybe I'll have you. Maybe
we can make him a voice memo. Let's do it
voice text for you. What up, dude, change your dreams,
(51:39):
reach for the stars. You can do it. We'll only
make a six month plan with your palms over already,
say palms up, palms up, ready to just receive whatever happens.
You know, open hands, evolving, pivoting. You know, if you're
not evolving, you're dead. It's right, Okay, Tim, where can
people find you? My name is ridiculously hard to spell,
so I'm just gonna say, go to Secret Society book
(52:01):
dot com. That is the hub for all the things
Secret Society book dot com. And I love that. Like
you probably weren't intending this in a way when you
go there, or you're like a part of it, you
feel like you're in this secret club. You everyone can
be a part of the Secret Society, right, define success
for yourself. You're in. You're in. Well, Thank you, Tim,
(52:24):
and we will see you next time. I would love
to have you back. We can talk about this or
your next book or another project, or just anything else
in life, because you're awesome to talk to. Thank you
so much. Thank you,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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