Jenny Reimold: As the mother of seven children, high profile designer, parenting guru and former publicist, Jenny Reimold, designs functional spaces for the every day family.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carola, she's a queen. She's getting really not afraid of it,
just let it flu. No one can do with Caral, Carol,
I am so excited to be here with Jenny Rival.

(00:31):
What upr Hi friends? How are you doing? I'm so
excited to be on this program. It's so much fun
because I've watched you before on different people, never thinking
like I would one time be on there, So it's
a real treat for me. Well, that always makes me
feel super flattered when someone says they are excited to
be on my podcast, because I'm just like chugging along
doing it. And you you know, like when you're doing

(00:52):
something in your own laying you don't ever really think
that anyone else cares, even though I know they do,
but absolutely absolutely. Um, I thank You're fabulous in so
many ways. You're first off, gorgeous, which I don't know
how you're looking so gorgeous during COVID all the time.
I mean, you look so good, curled hair, makeup with

(01:14):
breakan and a beanie work wonders. But I mean we
have to keep the spray tan up. How often do
you spray tan? Well, it's just the it's the undressed
tam it's just like a lotion I rub on, not
as even a spray tan. It's just a rub on lotion.
Jes Southern is that hand? It's awesome? Is it awesome?
It's amazing. The medium she just came out with, like
a medium dark one, and I just put it on

(01:34):
Sunday night. It kind of lasts through the week, so
just after showering. I just put it on Sunday and
I'm good. Okay, So really quick question about rubbing a
spray tan, because this is actually good information to know.
Do you do like full body or do you just
do like arms, legs, face, go full naked. I get
out of the shower, jab myself off. Listen if this
is get real, like, I'm not gonna be real with you.
I mean seven children, I have no shame anymore. Um,

(01:56):
just straight on naked a glove and you just rub
it on your skin and then I use the leftover
on my face and it just gives you like that
little like was I at the beach? Um? You know,
it's just perfect and it doesn't you don't feel like
you get splotchy or anything. No, hers, I don't and
hers doesn't transfer either, so it doesn't rub off on
your clothes, and it doesn't rub off on your sheets

(02:17):
or anything, so you can actually put it on in
the morning too, and it's fine. It's the greatest thing ever. Okay,
So undressed is what it's called undressed tans yes, man,
And if y'all don't follow jess sothern you should like
her ads for this. I'm like, dang, she's like full nude,
laying down like bull tan body. I'm like, she's had
a baby and stuff. I'm like, dang, girl, you look great.

(02:39):
I mean, that's how I feel about you. You've had
seven kids. I don't know if you've birthed all of them,
but you have seven kids, right, So I so I
only adopted one. I have seven total, um, but I
also I had a stillborn daughter as well, so I
have birthed seven. I've had five c sections, one natural delivery,
and then one still births and I been pregnant though

(03:01):
total of ten times. So I've had three miscarriages, one
still birth, so that's four six. I've birthed myself by
a C section and then the one natural, and then
I adopted a little boy who had breastfed. That's how
kind of we started talking. Was I was, you were breastfeeding,
and I had breastfed my adoptive baby and my bio
baby at the same time. And I think that's when

(03:23):
I first reached out to you, because you were asking
for breastfeeding advice and I had breastfed all seven. I
was like, let me, let me give you some secrets.
So is your adopted son and your youngest child. Are
they the same age? They are? My five youngest are
all eighteen months apart. So when I found out we
were adopting, I was still breastfeeding a thirteen month old
and I said, well, I'll just hang her on and

(03:43):
we'll just see if I can carry that milk over.
And by the grace of God, it worked. And so
he was born and his birth mother handed him to
me and she gave him a little colostrum, and then
I followed with the breast milk, and my body just
knew what to do again. It was just like fully
engorged all over again. Like I thought, I even know
if it would work, because you know, breast milk for
toddlers or you know, she was thirteen months, you know,

(04:04):
we were weaning. Um was different. But it's just a
good amazing experience. Okay, this makes me emotional. I already
feel like I want to cry and we've just started. Wow,
how did you guys decided to adopt when you already
have six kids and you already have a young baby, Like,
how did that come about? How did that get put
on your heart? How did I get put in your life?
So my backstory, I had two children with my first husband.

(04:27):
I got divorced when I was twenty seven. My kids
were only like one and two. And then I remarried
my husband, Nolan, and we had five little girls together,
including the girl that I lost, And so I had
five babies in five years. And then just something in
the back of my head was always I just wanted
to adopt. I was always very um. I always worked

(04:49):
and volunteered in the adoptive community, women in crisis, women
who struggled to keep their babies, things like that, and
so it was always just kind of one of those
things always say, adoption is really a calling. Um. And
then I just happened to have a friend who was
in O B G y N. And she called one
Christmas three years ago and said, you know, they're essentially
I think there were six black baby boys that didn't

(05:10):
have matches, um, and they were being born in the spring,
which I didn't even know that was even possible. I
was like, how does that even happen? I thought people
waited forever and um, we were living in Florida at
the time. We just recently moved to Tennessee, and so
you know, I got off the phone and I was like,
how many Yes, of course I'm interested in. My husband
of course, was like, you're nuts. He knew, he knew

(05:33):
that this was always on my heart and I'm fortunate
that he is. Um, he wanted a son and we
couldn't you know, after five girls, I think God was saying,
you know what, this is not your plan. And after
you know, five c sections is rough, and so by
Easter we had him. And so it was just kind
of divine intervention that kind of I was, you know,
weaning the one baby off and then there was a

(05:55):
call and then it just all happened. So I think
it's really I don't have another word for it other
than you is kind of no. Like, if you want
to adopt a baby and you are capable of parenting
another child born to another woman, you just know that
that's something in your heart that you can do. Wow.
I mean you say this so quickly, so naturally, so easily,

(06:15):
But what you have experienced as a mother, Like, I
literally feel so emotional right now. I feel like I
need to like break down some of this and just
talk about it, because how did you know you're capable
of raising all these children? And has it what has
the experience been like adopting versus having? And one of

(06:36):
the main reasons why I wanted to have you on
is lots of reasons. You're amazing, But you're such an
advocate for testing your children because you have children who
all your children are so smart and making Like I
was watching your instories and they're all like making straight
a's and all this stuff. But you're like, I have
them all tested, and I have like I have some
who are above average, some who are average, some who

(06:58):
have learning disabilities. So I guess when you have seven children,
does is it just sort of is because like sometimes
when people adopted such a big deal because like this
is maybe like they're one or two child, you know,
like they have one child, maybe a stopped another, but
you are adding a seventh to the mix of six already?
Does it just flow right in or what is that process?

(07:19):
Like I think it does. And you know, you know
when I I was only twenty four when I first
got married, and it was twenty five when I had
my oldest. So I have right now a freshman at
the University of Alabama, and I have a kid who
is potty training, you know, So I have this big gap.
And I never intended on getting divorced, obviously, and I
certainly didn't start off saying, oh, I'm going to be
the girl who has seven kids. That just never It

(07:39):
just didn't happen. And so you know, once I got remarried,
I knew we would have some and some we planned
and some are a few surprises. And so I think
after I lost my daughter Elizabeth, I was just grateful
for whatever came my way. And I think once you
get to three and four, you are already outnumbered sort of,

(07:59):
and it's no longer man on man coverage. It's more
like zone coverage. And so you develop a system of
what works in your family. And so for me, and
I told you, I have a master's degree in education,
so I had some kind of foundation of what works,
how to get kids to study, um positive reinforcement behavioral techniques.
So I had that. So once you know, baby six

(08:22):
came around and baby seven came around, it was kind
of like, you know, it's just adding to the flow.
It's just more mac and cheese. It's a little bit
more scheduling, it's having a master planner. It's it's those
kind of things. I don't think it it wears on
me anymore than the others. I mean, obviously five under
five was kind of rough at one time, but you
know what else is off. Teenagers are rough, Like going

(08:45):
through teenage girl drama again, that's really rough. You know,
having elementary girls fighting over stupid things. That can be rough.
And so I think developmentally you just kind of, you know,
chugged along with these different developmental stages and you learn,
you learn to cope. And whether you know, biological adopted.
For me, there was no different And I explained it,

(09:07):
you know, and I've said this before, and I've done
some interviews on adoption before, because there's typically one parent
that drives adoption, and typically that's women. Statistically that's women.
And so when my husband and I were discussing it,
I said, you know, there's something that and it's a
different because my my husband has stepchildren too, and he said,
you know, how how is the difference? How do you

(09:28):
love another child? How do you know? You know? With stepchildren,
I feel like you know they have a father, you know,
you know they're taking care of You are kind of
this bonus influence in their life. When a woman gives
you her child and that is all you know, that
is all that baby knows as you as the mother
and him as the father, that instinct just kicks in
to just be like you are my baby, I am

(09:49):
your mother, and this is how it goes. And I
think for me, there is no difference. I would throw
myself in front of a car for any one of
my children. And I think when you are just given
that opportunity, it's just really like, that's your baby. Oh, Jenny.
So I've had one miscarriage and it was early on

(10:12):
and it God, why am I crying already? I know?
It wrecked me, like it wrecked me? Right? How did
you make it through? Elizabeth? It was rough, hard, And
it's funny because it was just the anniversary of her
passing on the sixth of December. So Christmas is always
rough because I remember I didn't want to get out

(10:34):
of bed. You know, I had to go in and
deliver a child that I knew I was not taking home,
and then I had to have a funeral for her.
And I have lost babies at various points before, but
this one was obviously harder. And I think I didn't
know at the time, like I know, like I spent

(10:56):
the first two weeks in bed, like I just I
remember thinking to myself, this is not happening to me
like this. I remember laying in my bed like this
is this has to be a dream. This is not
happening to me. And then you know, two weeks in
and I got some counseling, and I think I even
was on a little antidepressant, well breutran or something to
just get me because I had other kids to care for.

(11:19):
But then ultimately that made me a better adoptive mother,
and it made me had I not lost Elizabeth, my
daughters Maggie and Charlotte would not have been born because
the timing right now I've worked out. And I always
say that maybe that was the bigger plan somehow, that
knowing what it's like to leave without a baby in

(11:40):
a hospital makes me be more empathetic towards birth mothers
because I know that pain, and so for me to
share information with a birth mother is no skin off
my back whatsoever, because it's like, I wonder, now, okay,
Elizabeth would be eight, what would she look like? And
so when I have a power to send a couple

(12:02):
of emails a few times a year to the birth
mother to say, this is what he was for Halloween,
this is what his Christmas gifts were like, for me,
that comes from the pain of that loss. And so
I think for me there was purpose in that pain
and I didn't know it, but now that I'm older,
it's kind of like when bad things happen, I try

(12:22):
to think, is there a bigger lesson to learn somewhere
down the line. And so that's you know, I try
to tell people who are experiencing loss, now, you know,
you honor that baby and you talk. My other children
know that they have a sister named Elizabeth in heaven
and we talk about her and we hang ornaments on
the tree for her. But they also know that, you know,

(12:45):
that's that's just the way it happened. And Maggie knows
that she's named after her, And you just make it
a part of your your life and your family instead
of I didn't like it was a loss. I didn't
get to keep, you know, keep steal with me. So
in counseling, I learned you talk about her, you give
her a voice, and her voice is my voice. And

(13:06):
so I think that's how you learned to move forward.
So you because I have had a couple of friends
who have UM lost their babies at birth and it's
oh God, but like you have UM moved and I'm sorry,
I'm so emotional this like you know, it's it's so powerful.
You moved into just taking ownership of this is how

(13:29):
it was, Elizabeth. This was her journey. Like I'm gonna
honor it. I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna bury
it down deep in my heart and never talk about
it and just like live with that pain for myself.
You decided to share her story in her life right,
and we had And it's funny because even my mother,
my mother is like kind of very conservative, she goes
to church every Sunday, but you know, things in that

(13:50):
generation were not talked about, like if you lost a baby,
you didn't talk about it. So even my own mother
was kind of like, I don't know why you're sharing
this stuff all the time, you know, like she just
didn't understand why. And for me, it was kind of
healing in a way where you know, at the time,
you know, I had five daughters, one did not one

(14:10):
did not make it, and but I have five daughters,
and so when we decorate the Chris, when we have
a stocking, we have a stocking for her, you know.
And I went to a counselor and one baby that
we you know, I didn't know the gender. They said,
just give it a name. What do you think it was?
Give it a name. And that is kind of how
you heal from the president miscarriage. You said you didn't right,

(14:31):
I didn't know. It was like I don't know, eleven
weeks or something. But to make three miscarriages and one
stillborn mm hm. And they don't know. And it's funny
because my sister had had nine what and so she
had babies. She's had a lot of I mean she
had they said she'd never have son. She had some
at thirty eight. But um, no one ever knows why.

(14:52):
I went to a specialist in in Tampa in Jacksonville,
UM Dr Samuel Brown he's amazing. He has different offices
around order. But he believes a lot of miscarriages, especially
repeated miscarriages, are from microscopic blood clots, and especially if
they're kind of habitual and so UM, they put me
on all the blood thinners and all of that, and

(15:13):
I never had any issues after that. And so for
people who may have experienced multiple miscarriages, look into that
just being on blood thinners, aspirin, things like that. And
he's a he has its son with special needs, so
he's also a researcher, and he's just a big believer
in UM, these microscopic blood clots that people aren't catching
that can be you know, possibly avoided by taking these

(15:36):
you know, the shots in your belly. And I did
all of that, so but I never had another miscarriage
after that. After I went to him, and he actually
got my sister to keep both of her babies then later. So,
so your sister had nine miscarriages before she actually had
one full term. Yeah, she had some bi gestational carrier
and then she had UM her own later, just kind

(15:58):
of surprised, and she went to this after and they
were very aggressive in the treatment, and so that's why
I say, there's no you know, there's always a light
at the end of the tunnel, and so to not
get discouraged. And you never know if the child that
you know is supposed to be in your life is
a result is of an unfortunate loss. You never know
if maybe you're called to adopt, maybe you're supposed to adopt.

(16:20):
You just don't know. And so it took me a
while to get to that point to understand because obviously
I was like, you know, why is this happening? Especially
after Elizabeth. I mean, like I said, I couldn't get
out of bed. But I think you just learn to um,
you know, you just learned to know that things will
be okay, like it will get better. There are other

(16:40):
like there's another journey. So for someone, say a mother
in particular, who's on their own struggle or grief journey
right now with their current situation with either like wanting
to have children or having miscarriages, or going through a
loss like you wanted through, or even losing a child
as a little bit older, like how would what are
some of the things that you did that helped you

(17:02):
turn your grief into a beautiful tribute because I know
you live with that every day, but like, how did
you turn it into something that was a beautiful thing
for you? So I had her like first, I had
her footprints put onto some jewelry and I wore those
a lot um stella and dot the jewelry company. You
know you can engrave great little bar necklaces. I had
her name engraved on a necklace that actually just broke,

(17:23):
but I had that. I wore that every day all
the time. Um, there's a thing where you name a star.
It's like name a star dot com, where you name
a star in her honor. So I feel like she's
looking down on me. I also think giving purpose and
volunteering with people who are in maybe a similar situation
of loss um women who may you know, need assistance.

(17:46):
Sometimes helping other people helps you overcome your grief. And
I don't know what phenomenon that is, but for me,
I worked with an organization. I volunteered with an organization
called in Ministry in Jacksonville, and it was a home
for whom men who wanted to keep their babies but
had no support or they were in abusive relationships they
could come. And so right after that happened with Elizabeth

(18:07):
I I just said, you know what, let's just I'm
gonna put my effort into honoring my daughter by helping
other women who may be struggling. And I just coordinated
a little community walk and then we donated all of
those funds to this home so they could remodel their bathrooms.
And I think kind of keeping busy is such a
huge part of the healing process, Like take your time

(18:27):
to grieve, but don't let it, you know, keep you
in bed and prevent you from doing other things. So
I do think for me, at least, helping other people
helped me kind of overcome that huge grief. How do
your kids, your your older kids who could probably process
how do they process it? So they went to the funeral.
We had a little funeral, released balloons and everything, and

(18:50):
so those two, my older two, who were like eight
in I don't know, seven and eight at the time,
maybe they kind of understood what would happen, what happened
My younger ones, who either weren't born or just toddlers, um,
they now know. And it's funny because on my door
behind me, we just kind of talked about how it
was the anniversary of her passing, and they made her
little cards and they stuck them to my door and

(19:13):
they said, Mom, we want you to know that Elizabeth
still loves you, and she put it on my door.
And so I think, I know, I think keeping her relevant,
keeping her part of the conversation gives me kind of
comfort as well, because it's just not like I lost
the daughter and we never talked about her, you know,
which was very taboo and kind of the sixties and
the seventies. You didn't discuss that stuff. And so I

(19:36):
think just talking about it and talking other women about
it kind of helps. And I'm sorry to keep harping
on this because I want to talk about a lot
of more helps. Such a good you're you You're doing
such a phenomenal job of turning it into something beautiful.
How did you navigate this with your husband, because I
know that can be hard on a marriage too. Yeah,
And I think they are, you know, I definitely even

(19:58):
the other day, I was like, Noland, know what day
it is? And he was like, it's Christmas party day.
You know, like it doesn't hit them as much, you know,
And so if you were connected to her for so long,
you know, right right, and he you know it wasn't
the same. I mean, he was there obviously in the
room and everything, but I think for him, just him
allowing me to do whatever I needed to do if

(20:20):
I want to order. I used to say, I'm bankrupting
myself on Etsy just getting things named in her honor
and what. And he was like, are you sure you're
gonna do this walk? This is a lot of you know, work,
and you just had the baby and he was away
playing baseball, and I was like, yes, I need to
do the walk, you know. And it was just one
of those things that you just you have to have

(20:41):
someone who is supportive of what you want to do
and not trying to kind of tell you to do
something else, you know, like it's okay, you don't need
to do that. You know. If I feel like, listen,
if my way to honor her is to walk around
our church fifty times with some members of the community
and have T shirts made, That's what I'm doing, you know.
And I think just channeling that loss into something that

(21:02):
can benefit someone else is really healing, because I think,
you know, laying in bed and doing all of that,
that's great for the first bit, but at some point
you have to regroup because you know, if you believe
that your daughter's your child is someone else, they don't
want to see you sitting in you know, in bed
and whatever. They want to see you living a life.
So for me, that's kind of what helped me so

(21:25):
something that there's a lot of things that strike me
about you very positively, Like I'm very inspired by you,
Like you're sort of like goals for me in a way,
Like how do you You've been through so much, You've
been through divorce and you had to young children as
a single mom. Yeah, I kind of want to lay
out some things I want to talk about and then
you can talk about them how you went. So that's

(21:47):
a huge chapter of your life. You got married, divorced
with two young children. Now you're navigating and I saw
you kind of talking about how you became a personal
instructor and you're able to take your kids. But like
everything that hits you that feels hard and overwhelming, I
feel like you have come up with a way to
make it work for you, to make it good for you,

(22:08):
to make it a blessing for you, to make it
a blessing for your child and the children the best
way possible. So that's a huge thing, like getting becoming
a single mom at such a young age or two
young children, like that's overwhelming, Like did you navigate that well?
And you know, I was the first person in my
family to be divorced, and it was only you know,
it was twenty four when I got married, twenty five
when I had my first six Yeah, and then I

(22:29):
was like divorced by you know, like I was very young.
I was still in my twenties, and so I remember
it was really hard and really rough when I was
in a city that wasn't mine and um I remember
having and my dad just happened to be there and
I was just having one of those days like I
cannot do it all. And I was on my floor
just crying. And my dad he like who was not

(22:50):
a man of many words and not an overly emotional
guy either. He was five brothers, son of a military guy,
doesn't show much emotion, and he said, Jenny, no one
is going to do this for you. Nobody is going
to fight your battles, but you you have no other
choice but to make this happen. And for some reason,
like that gave me the kick in the pants that

(23:10):
I needed, Like He's right, like, no one's gonna fight
for my children, but me, no one's gonna pay my bills,
you know, like no one's gonna do this, and so um.
Kind of at that point, I kind of did a
little pivot. And even with coming from a family that
most would seem would be well off and I had
a master's degree, I took on like a second job
of teaching fitness classes. And because then it was a

(23:31):
physical outlet for me. I could get paid to work out,
and my children would come to the y m c
A And play with their friends, you know. And so
I feel like in times of those really hard times,
it's again staying busy, like staying inside was just not
what I could do. And I knew that this was temporary,
and I worked really hard. At one point it worked
like three jobs. I was teaching full time, I was

(23:53):
teaching aerobics or fitness zoomba classes, and then I was
like doing like the little premier jewelry parties when those
were popular, like two days a week or something like
you know, back then. And so but I worked really
really hard, and I got myself out of it, and
I still lived in like a nice little neighborhood and
a little country club with the pool. But I knew
to maintain that I had to rely on myself. And

(24:14):
I think that that's just a huge lesson, like you
have to learn to rely on yourself, because as my
dad said, like no one is going to do that
for you. And then I got remarried, and you know,
I had to fight your new husband, not your new huster.
How do you meet Nolan? So we It's so funny
because I always share this story is so fine. So
I was. I was working at a time in sports media.
My undergrad is in PR and communications and journalism, and

(24:36):
my masters is in education, and so I we had
met three mutual friends, but then we started to getting
know each other over my know each other over my Space,
and our our love kind of blossomed on my Space.
And I remember he put me in his Pop eight
staight s page and that's where I left, grew just
right under you know, Chevy with the Butterfly Door. I

(24:58):
was right in top eight with that song. And that
is our romance story. But ultimately, I think, you know,
we we had very similar backgrounds. We had both parents,
had been married for a long time. We both went
to Catholic schools. We both originally were from Pennsylvania, and
I think, you know, learning that that common ground worked

(25:19):
better than like where I was with my ex husband,
where our backgrounds were very different, so our conflict resolution
was very different, you know. I think that that's what
I learned, the difference on kind of what works and
what doesn't work. And so we have been married now
I would say this is kind of so we had
a baby before we were married. And so depending on
who you ask. If you asked my ten year old,

(25:40):
we've been married eleven years. If you ask my if
you the real answer is nine. So you know it
is what it is. But you know I said, the
first time, I did it all right and it imploded,
and so this time we backed into it and it
worked out. You know, I am such a advocate. I
am such an advocate of just doing it your way.
Like I have met so many incredible people with beautiful, messy,

(26:06):
amazing life and it's like there is no right way.
I mean, you can do everything right, and like you said,
it can totally blow up in your face. You can
do everything right and it can go right. You can
get all in a different wonky order. But like who
made this order? Anyway? I understand, like there's certain I
understand why things are put in place because it makes sense.
But like, ultimately, it's your life, it's your heart, it's

(26:29):
your journey, and so whatever feels like the right thing
to do for you, that's it in my opinion. And
it wasn't that, it wasn't even like a plan. It
just kind of happened that way, you know, and so
we just kind of rolled with it and it worked
for us, and so and here we are, and it's
funny because you know, now we have this big family

(26:49):
of seven children we met on my Space, you know,
like it's just a funny story. And is it on
a little unorthodox sure, but does it work. Yes? And
so that's why I'm just a big believer and just
kind of I don't know, just kind of going with
the flow. And I've learned now in my old age
to just kind of I always think that there's got

(27:10):
to be a purpose or something and there's a bigger
story to be told your old age. Okay, well you're aging,
I need all your tips. Like you're aging perfectly. You are,
Like you look like your oldest daughter. I saw you
guys doing like damn together, and I'm like, first off
goals because I feel like you And this is just

(27:32):
from an outsider's perspective looking at I don't obviously know
the ins and out of your household, but like, I
feel like you are kind of that mom who enforces
the rules. They know the boundaries, they know the guidelines.
But then also you're their friend and you hang out
with them and you do TikTok dances and you like,
you know, you also have that friend vibe with them
as well. Well, And this is what I said. I said,

(27:53):
you know, I am a mom and I'm not here
to be your best friend, but that doesn't mean we
don't have a wonderful relationship. So we have high expectations,
We have consequences for behavior. We have you know, standards
of like no, you're not going on a vacation with
your boyfriend to the Bahamas at sixteen like some of
your friends, Like, we don't do those things, Like that's
not what we're doing. But I absolutely will do every

(28:16):
TikTok dance you asked me to do, because that is parenting,
that is bonding, that is you know, we love to
go shopping together and I take my son, he's a
baseball prospect, to all these baseball tournaments and all of that,
and so there is I think sometimes people get confused,
like there are certain things in terms of a friend
that you don't share with your daughter, you know, I
mean your children. You know, like there's you know, things

(28:38):
I share with my best friend that I'm certainly not
sharing with my teenagers. But I think people get confused that,
you know, maybe an authoritarian or disciplinary figure cannot have
a close relationship with their children, and it's just simply,
you know, not true. And I think one of the
big things, and I advocate for this a lot, is
learn what your kids love to do and be part
of that. Like they don't want to be part of

(28:58):
your world. Like no thirteen or old wants to talk
about bills and things like that. They want to do
TikTok dances, So do the TikTok dances with them, you know, like,
and they may not always want you to do stuff
with them, but sometimes you have to force it because
that I think, now we're going on to parenting, but
you start to you lose kids around eighth, ninth, tenth grade.

(29:19):
You know, they don't want you around, So you kind
of got to kick the door open sometimes and be like,
you know what, we are going on a family adventure today,
or we're going on a fan You know, they don't
want any part of a lot of the family adventures.
But like we did go yoga. I take my husband
on silly adventures. But you know, my teenage son was
like mortified. We were in New England and he's like,
we're doing go yoga. And then the videos of him

(29:40):
are hysterical, you know, like he didn't want to do
those things. And then the other day, as embarrassed as
he is that I was doing TikTok with his sister,
he reposted us on TikTok. He was black, he was
proud of it. And then there was we're talking to
your TV producer right now, and he's always, oh, we
don't need to do that. And then some guys on
his baseball team said, you guys are gonna get your

(30:01):
TV show. Jack said, you're you know, so it's kind
of like they're listening. They they watch what you do.
And it was, you know, for as much crap as
he gave me about the TikTok, to see him repost
that was kind of like, oh he does like me,
you know, and it's you know, it's it's normal for
them to want to push you away. But I say,
as a parent, like, don't. There's a difference between you know,

(30:23):
not wanting to like come down and sit at the
table and stuff versus retreating in your room to play
video games all the time. Sometimes you gotta pull them
out and make them come up. Fraire Gosh, I have
so many questions flooding my brain right now. So I
want to start with just like the testing, because you've
been such an advocate for that, about how you do

(30:45):
have these seven children and all of them are different
needs educationally and they learned differently, they are different. People
tell me about testing and why that is so important. Okay,
so I think people need to understand first. So I'm
a mother of seven, but I was a teacher, and
I do have the educational background to start notice thing

(31:06):
noticing things that maybe they are red flags for little ones.
And so with my oldest daughter when she was in kindergarten,
there were just some things that you know, she was
struggling to get and just in your head as a mom,
it's one of those things like something going on or
she didn't get enough sleep. And so I always say,
when you start having those thoughts, that's where you go

(31:27):
and get these tests. And the tests I'm referring to
are called they're called psyched evals psychological educational evaluations. And
what those do is they typically they get a history
of the pregnancy and things like that. They test aptitudes
and they can do this at three or four or five.
I mean a lot of these tests can be done
very very early. Um, they can tell you what type

(31:47):
of learner your child is, UM, what their I cues
are now, accuse aren't everything, but it certainly gives you
a baseline of where your kid is operating from. So,
for example, like my three year old daughter at the time,
and I shared this the other day, super bright kid
over libre, I mean really bright, and I could see that,
but also way more tantrums than what I thought the

(32:09):
average kids should have, very grumpy towards people in public.
And I shared this too. I almost thought too, like,
seemed like she was talking to dead people in the
closet and just doing a lot of weird things. And
so I tested her at three and when it came
out as I tested her at Children's Hospital in their
neuropsychology department in Jacksonville. Her i Q was a hundred
and forty four. So that let me know, if average

(32:30):
is a hundred gifted as one thirty, this kid was
at a one forty four. And i Q is not
a knowledge test. I think people are saying, well, how
do you know at three and four? It's aptitude, it's mazes,
it's puzzles, it's what picture do you see here? It's
not who was the sixteenth President of the United States.
And so what it also showed is that she had
a lot of sensory issues, and so that impacted why

(32:53):
it was such a struggle to get this kid dressed
in the morning because she didn't want she didn't want
the scenes of her socks to touch skin um. Because
she was so smart, she was anticipating strangers coming up
at baseball games and in stadiums and saying, oh, aren't
they cute? Or you know all of this, and she
didn't want that, but she didn't have the verbal skills
to do that. And so as kids get older, like

(33:16):
I had my son tested for a d h D
and for a second or second grade for second grade,
I think again it showed he was gifted, but it
showed like he's an audio learner. Um. And there are
all kinds of different learners. So like, for example, I'm
I'm a traditional visual learner. I'm very good at school,
I'm very good at books, I'm very good at comprehending
things I see. But audio learners those are people who

(33:39):
would prefer to um hear things on tape, have discussions
with you learn that way. Typically, people who are really
good in music are audio learners, people who can like
pick up a guitar and play a song or audio.
And then you have kids who are amazing with legos
and stuff like that. And so I always say, if
you can imagine what school would be like for Chill

(34:00):
dren as an early preschool and early elementary school. Their
parents know like, hey, this is the way this child learns.
This kid has a little bit of an attention problem.
This kid is actually gifted, but if she's wearing scratchy clothes,
she may be thrown off with her learning. And so
I said, like for me, and I was in my

(34:20):
mom was a public school teacher. I got put in
gifted classes in the first grade. So from age seven on,
I was in all of these advanced classes, with all
of these activities and things like that, where in contrast,
a very good friend of mine did not know her
son had an i Q of seventy, which is typically
in the range educably mentally handicapped but presented well. Normal

(34:43):
kid played soccer but struggled his entire life, and so
he might be getting in trouble, say his parents are
like upset with them, like why are you getting grade grades?
Or his teachers teachers are like why are you know?
He might he might be getting pressure to be being
better in school, but really he's just doing the very
very best he can. This is cutting out. Hold on,

(35:05):
it's cutting out. Can you hear me there? Yeah? Can
you hear me? Oh? Can you hear me? Now? Now
I can? So what did you just? Can you repeat
what you just said? I was saying so that that
young child who had an i Q of seventy he
might be cutting out again, it's hold on, it's cutting out.
I don't know if it's me. I can see you.
You're working well, okay, yeah I can okay, Hey hey

(35:30):
hey hey, it's like spotty. How is it now? How
are we doing? That's fine? Now, that's fine, fine, Yep,
it's fine. Okay, okay, yeah, okay, okay. So I was
saying to that child who had the i Q of seventy,
are we still good? Yeah? Um, he might be getting
in trouble from his teachers and his at home from

(35:51):
his parents because he's not making great grays when really
he's doing the best he can, but nobody knew that
he was struggling. I think this is so real in it,
and I wish every child was tested. And you said
something to like, don't be scared of a label. It's
not to put a label on you to make you
feel bad about yourself as a child. It's so you're
people who are helping you to learn, like your parents

(36:12):
and your teachers can help you help yourself. And this
is how your brain processes information. No mother would look
at a lump on a kid's neck and say I'm
gonna wait a couple of years to see how that develops,
you know, And so you don't do the same with
your kids education or they're learning, because learning is a
lifeblong process, you know. And if your kid is struggling

(36:34):
in kindergarten, first grade, and the kid who had a
seventy I happened to go with his mom to the
meetings because she didn't know. She's not an education she
doesn't know what's going on or the specifics of all
of these different things in the educational system. And he
ended up dropping out of school. And and that is
because he struggled his whole life in school. And not

(36:54):
until eighth and ninth grade did they realize his i
Q was here. How can he be men sure to
to do the work up here when his brain does
not allow it, you know. And so that's why I'm
telling all these parents it's never too late to get
tested either, Like my husband was tested as a d
D as an adult playing baseball. UM, it's never ever

(37:14):
too late. But if you are the parent who's questioning, like, oh,
I noticed some things, if you are asking yourself, is
my kid okay? Get the testing done, and there are
you can go to UM. School psychologists. Every elementary, every
public school system has a school psychologist available. They may
not be there all the time, but they're there two

(37:35):
or three days a week. And you may have to
like battle a little bit in the public school system,
like hey, these are my kids issues. But typically if
they're having issues, their teachers see them too. UM. You
can go to children's hospitals and to neuropsychologists, UM, private
educational psychologists if you can afford it, that's what I
would recommend because they give the most in depth testing.
Sometimes it's a couple of thousand dollars. But to me,

(37:57):
that's an investment in your child's future, like if you
have to pick up an extra shift, takes some extra
nannying jobs or whatever you need to do. Like for me,
like that is just something that you need to know
how your kid learns, because you can't. Teachers cannot help
your children if you don't know what's going on. You know,
it's like the blind leading the blind. And if you
get something. I was talking to somebody the other day

(38:19):
and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with the student.
And then the mom says, oh, he was born at
twenty seven weeks. Okay, well that's a lot of development
that did not happen in utero. And so those things
are super helpful. So that's why I'm just such a
big advocate in getting test done for your children, even
if adults. Even if you are an adult who said,
you know what, my whole life I struggled in school,

(38:41):
I don't know whatever. It's helpful for you to know
because sometimes that becomes a relief for both the parent
and the student, because if you are trying your whole
life and you're just I'm just not good at school.
It maybe not that you're not good at school. Your
intelligence maybe high, average, average, whatever. Your brain is just
processing information differently, like a d h D is a

(39:03):
central nervous system processing disorder. Has nothing to do with
how intelligent you are. So sometimes having a diagnosis is
a relief in saying, you know what, I'm not stupid.
I just you know, I actually I'm very smart. Actually,
like I'm high intelligent. And a lot of times there's
all different tests they are done, so you're you have
like a verbal like you and you have all these

(39:23):
different I cues and sometimes like if your reasoning is lower,
but you're great at your verbal and communication skills, that
offsets a lot of that and helps you cope. So
then your treatment is learning how to verbalize what you need,
you know, And so that's why I'm just it's so
much more than how well your kid does on a
test attest to me, like my daughter does not do

(39:45):
well on standardized tests and here she's a straight A
student at Alabama. It has nothing to do with that.
It is basically, how do you learn? And once we
know how you learn, how can we help you become better?
So she uses this program called Quizlets and it's this
little ask you how does she is used in college?
So how if she knows that she's not great at
test taking, how does she get around that? So there's

(40:07):
an app that she uses called Quizlet, and she's been
using it since high school or maybe even middle school.
And it's essentially like you input all of the information
and it creates flash cards and quizzes right on her phone.
And it's just repetition and things like that. And so
the work putting it in is an educational kind of
study habit. And then you know, the repetition and things
like that really help. And and I think people also,

(40:28):
you know, if your child has planning on going to college,
if you have all this documentation, they can receive the
same services in college, so they can have people take
notes for them. Now, my daughter doesn't use this, but
I know kids who do. You can have people take
notes for you, um extra time on your tests. All
this kind of stuff. So it's actually you don't even
have to have any kind of learning difference to know

(40:49):
why it is helpful to have extra time and tests
in college, you know, like and so I think it's
just it's beyond. It is really about where you are
at kind of intellectually. And I don't share that information
with kids. And I should say that too, Like the
kid who has a hundred forty four i Q, she
doesn't know that. You know, the kids who you know,
they don't know what. I don't share that. I will

(41:11):
say to them, you're a bright kid, Like, don't get
down on yourself, like you are a bright kid. Now
if you if you had the child with a seventy
i Q, I certainly wouldn't say you're low average. I
would just stress, hey, these are your weaknesses, but look
at your strengths. You're great in sports, you're a talented artist.
You combine all of these things. And so I mean,
and you can start this testing, you know. I mean

(41:33):
with my daughter, we started at three when we notice
some behavioral stuff. And certainly if you start in kindergarten
and first grade and you notice your kids have either
maybe they're gifted, you know, like two. Schools don't just
test your kids for gifted. That's typically something they don't do.
The parents have to ask ask for it, right, and
it goes a lot quicker if the parents ask for it. So,

(41:56):
you know, even if you have an average kid, just
seeing where they're apt tudes lie Like maybe you have
a kid who's average intelligence, but they're super great in
their verbal skills. Well, that kind of gives you a
path on kind of where to guide your kid. You know,
So this takes a lot of energy, Jenny, I mean,
like this tastes Do you have like an abnormal amount

(42:18):
of energy? Because you have seven kids that you are very,
very involved with and very hands on. I know you
said zone parenting, but your hands on, your very in
tune with what each child needs. While you're being a wife.
Why you've had while you've had all these jobs, while
you wake up looking like a bombshell every day, Like
where does this energy come from? How do you not

(42:39):
run out of juice? Because I find myself depleted so much.
I'll tell you and this is what I think. So
and people are always baffled by this. I don't drink
coffee and I don't um like caffeine. I think where
I get my energy is I work out every morning
very early. Says my internet's unstable. Can you hear me?
I can hear you, Okay, I don't know why I
said that. Um So I work out every day at

(43:02):
about five or five thirty, and I try to get
myself taken care of before my kids are up. And
so for me, you know, exercising in the morning build
your endorphins. It puts you in a better mood, it
gives you more energy. And so honestly, I think my
fitness which is important to me just as a mom,

(43:22):
because that is my time, you know, like that is
the time where nobody needs me. I don't have to
like worry about someone not being there getting up or
what I have to do for my kids. And so
for me, getting up early and extra exercise thing for
an hour, either go to pure bar or I built
a gym in my garage. It actually got an h
G t V. It was a fun little project. Um

(43:44):
is how I get energy. And then I kind of,
you know, you kind of rely on yourself. And I
think when you when you don't drink coffee and things
like that, I know it's crazy because my mom and
my sister are huge coffee. My energy kind of learns
to run on itself, you know, like I don't have
a lot of highs and low is with the exception
of like cookie dough. Um. But I also I'm pretty
good at time management. So I have I'll show you

(44:06):
this is I use. This is the best calendar efforts
from Target, the Blue Sky calendars, right. I put them
on my desk. I'm a paper and pencil kind of girl,
and so every day I just write down who needs
what when, what do I have to be And so
every day I just kind of check that. And you know,
I'm good at I'm good at time management, I think.

(44:27):
But because I start my day early. Maybe does every
kid have their own color on your planner or how
do you like differentiate? What did you say? I'm sorry,
does every kid have their own color on your plane? No?
I'm not the color coded mom. I'm a huge believer
in erasable pens. These are the best, like erasable pens. Um.

(44:47):
I don't need a different color code to tell me
which kid is doing. I'm not that person. My sister
is that person. I am not that person. So for me,
it's just writing down and just kind of knowing what's
ahead and knowing how to plan. I also think, and
I tell women this all of the time who kind
of get lost in the rut of like being a
mom and not taking care of themselves. You schedule appointments,

(45:09):
schedule your workouts and things for yourself like you would
your kids doctor's appointment or a parenting conference. So like
on every Sunday, I kind of plan when I'm gonna
work out because I need that for myself. I need
I need an hour to myself. And and here's the thing, like,
however many hours there are in a week, I think
mothers should be able to say, you know what, I

(45:30):
would like four of those hours for myself, you know,
like you dedicate. So I mean, I don't even sleep
and I sell kids at the bed in the bed
at night, crawling into the bed like I don't sleep
very well, but God help me, could I just get
you know, one hour, four days a week is all
I'm asking. And I think that's important for moms to realize,
is that to be the best version of yourself, you

(45:51):
have to and help your kids. You have to take
care of you, and if you are running on empty
how can you help your your kids. I had a
mini meuntdown um a few days ago because I just
was feeling Sonny was needing me all the time, which
I'm so grateful for, Like I'm never not grateful to
have this little life that I get to be a
mother too, but like Sonny was needing me so much.
She's like one, She's fifteen months old, so she was

(46:13):
like wanting to hang on me all the time, be
with me all the time, like you know, feeding her,
bathing or changing her. I mean, you know, and it's awesome.
But I finally was like after like a few days
of this with no break, and it was just a
phase where she wasn't going to Michael, like she just
sometimes has these like really intense to me phases, and

(46:33):
so I was like, I literally I have no self care,
Like I have no time for myself. I feel like
I'm drowning. I feel just overwhelmed. And I totally agree
with you. And that's when I started like going back
to yoga, and I'm like trying to make myself go
three times a week because I'm like I have to
have a moment where I can go take care of
myself be by myself. And it's not that I don't

(46:55):
love being with my daughter and my husband all the time,
but like, you have to make this time a real
your cup will just stay empty. And I get I
have meltdowns all of the time. Like I have meltdowns.
I mean, my husband has retired baseball player Hughes here
all the time. I'm working from home doing design stuff
or meta or whatever I'm doing. My kids need me.
I have meltdowns all of the time. And so that's why,

(47:17):
like I know I'm at my best when I can
take an hour to myself. And also like I have
a girl who comes during the week a few hours
because my husband just husbands are husbands, you know what
I mean, Like sometimes they are just not aware of
what needs to be. Like I walked out today and
my husband is in like the gym in the garage
and the kids are like on the street, and I

(47:38):
was like, hello, Like, I can't safely work if you
are focusing on something else that's not our children. Unbelievable
that I mean, God, we love our husbands obviously, but
I love him the way women multitask and see things,
and like I feel like I have fifty seven thousand
eyeballs just like rotating around my head at all times,
like I have I see the full spectrum what was

(48:01):
happening all the time. Of course, like I'm gonna miss
stuff and things are gonna happen on my watch too,
But like my eyeballs, it's just like I'm three sixty
just rotating constantly. Man are not like that. I think
that is just men. I mean now I've been married twice.
I mean that's like even like like foods like no,
that is way too much food for a three year old,
you know, like stuff like that and so um for

(48:23):
me to have a girl come in. And I've always
once I started, I mean even when I had to,
I had someone come in and help me a little bit,
just someone who could come and do laundry, help me
with the laundry, like just let me breathe a little bit.
And I think moms sometimes think like it's like shameful
or they feel guilty, like that is not that is

(48:44):
like a lifeline, you know, like I've never had. I've
never been fortunate enough in either one of my marriage
just to live in the city where my parents are,
so I never had any help. So I had to
have people come in and help me. And I have
a wonderful girl right now who's twenty three, and she
comes in and and I call her my nanny assistant.
She's great with the kids, but she also has a
communications degree from Florida State and she loves music industry

(49:06):
and stuff and and so she helps me with a
lot of media stuff too. And I think just having
someone who, you know, what could you come for, you know,
just and you schedule that person. You know, I would
like two hours of help three days a week, laundry
picking up. I would like to go to the grocery
store and the gym by myself. I mean, I think
those are like small gifts mothers should be able to

(49:27):
give themselves without feeling guilty because ultimately, and I found myself.
I've read a lot about this tough topic. It's called
the emotional burden of parenting, where it almost always falls
on the mom. The doctor's appointments when they need their vaccinations,
who you know, presence for the parties, like all of
that always falls on the moms. And so having to
maintain and mentally manage everybody and then do the physical

(49:51):
work of the kids at school, and you know, who
are who are they running to when they need their
mommy kind of situation and having kids hang on you
all the time, Like I say, sometimes like I just
I don't want to want to touch me for an hour,
you know, Like I've been telling Michael that, like, I
don't touch me. Sunny has become so touchy touchy, which
I love. But like I told Michael, I was like
when I lay in bed, it's not that I don't

(50:14):
I want to get sexy with you, because I do,
but like, honestly, sometimes Sally and the mother fucking bed
by myself and take a nap or go to sleep,
and I don't need anybody touching me. I know, no,
And that's what it is like. And that's I've read
a lot about that too. That's very common in marriages,
especially when people have young babies. Like it's not that
we don't love our husbands, but I don't want anybody

(50:34):
touching me right now. Thanks. I need my own space.
I just want to be with myself. Yes, I know
when you're breastfeeding, like, no, thank you. So how do
you respond for like seven years straight? Like nobody? So
how do you keep a marriage rocking with all these kids?

(50:56):
And all this responsibility because I feel like you also
do a great job of at like, how what is
your formula for success with your marriage? For marriage? It's
cutting in and out again. I was sorry, what is
your formula? Can you hear me? Yeah? Okay, now can
what is your formula for success with marriage with all
of these kids? All of it? I think, and I
learned this through counseling. The first is the biggest success,

(51:17):
right is um conflict resolution. That's how you determine kind
of the successive things. And I think resolving conflict is
huge and being able to do that without name calling
and grudges and things like that is huge in terms
of like getting over little marital hiccups. And I think
for me, like we don't get away a lot because
I have five kids. I mean, I have five little
ones and not a lot of people can handle that,

(51:38):
you know, And so we try to do things as
like a family a lot, and it's not the same,
but it is at least getting away and out and
like even we're going away to my husband and I
are just taking my son to his baseball tournament in
Florida next month, and he's sixteen, so a lot of
that is by himself, so it gives us time to

(51:58):
kind of hang out together, go to and together all
he's playing games and things like that. And I think,
you know, the dynamics certainly changes from you know, the
honeymoon phase and when you first get married to where
you're surrounded by children. And so I think first of all,
discussing that things are just different. You know, it's not
about love, it's just your dynamics are different. But then secondly,
just you know, we have done little getaways before, like

(52:20):
just little weekend ones, and right now we're kind of swamped.
But even going to these baseball tournaments just he didn't
he could have stayed home, but I'm saying, why don't
you come, you know, and we will take him because
when he's doing his thing, we can at least get
lunch together and hang out together in the stands together,
and so and I think a lot of it is
also being goofy and having fun. I mean a lot
of what we do is you know, going to the

(52:41):
drive through safari parks and laughing together as a family,
which makes him more attractive than staying home all day.
You know, like people are not designed to be on
top of each other, and I think with COVID, you know,
things are worse, and so I think just getting out
and laughing together as a family kind of just you know,
lightens the load. Yeah, totally. How did you how long

(53:03):
has he been retired? Because was there a time when
you were kind of at home with all the kids
and he was playing baseball? Yeah? I was. I always
So I stopped working my media jobs when I had
my fourth and then we got to no pair. Um,
we had pairs. Oh my god, greatest gift in the
world because it was like three fifty bucks a week
for living childcare and it was phenomenal. Um. But still

(53:27):
they had their days off. Moms don't get days off,
and you know they kind of clocked out there certain times.
But yeah, so he has been retired for three years now. Um.
He played for eleven, mostly for the Baltimore Orioles and so,
um it's kind of that readjustment too, when they come
back in and all they've ever done is sports. I mean,
it's it's kind of like, you know, like I came

(53:48):
from sports town, sports families, but it's not unlike music
families because it's like you're out in the road then
you go to see them and it's so exciting and
then your home, and especially with all these guys not
traveling now it's just like okay, and now what like
what do I do now that I don't have sports?
Like what is my purpose beyond this? You know? And

(54:08):
so I think a lot of those things kind of
with music and sports are very similar in the lifestyle.
And though it looks very glamorous, but a lot of
times you're by yourself and they're on the road, and
then you come home and it's a readjustment of sorts
and at and so. And I think too, you know,
sports is very short lived, like what is the next phase?
And for him he doesn't know yet. Um, we're fortunate

(54:31):
that he can kind of take some time off. But
you know, I didn't marry their jeter either, you know,
like like there's gonna You're gonna have to do something
at some point. And so I think kind of that
is always difficult, you know, finding that next step. And
when you have these kind of what seemed to be
glamorous careers and then that's taken from you, then what

(54:53):
who are you? Who are you without being able to
hit a home run? Who are you? If you don't
have a hit song, Like I don't know the ins
and outs of music, but I assume it's very similar. Yes, yes, yes,
I know. And that's the thing. It's like it is.
There are some really glamorous parts of both of these industries,
and a lot of the entertainment industries, but there's also
like some the highs and the lows are very very,

(55:15):
very extreme and learning how to am I cutting out? Yes?
Is it you or me? I can hear you seeing
if I can come out here? Okay, can you hear me? Now? Yes,
I'm just gonna see if I go out here. If
it's any better, great, And I'm getting a tour of
your house too, which I love. So pretty but I said,

(55:37):
I'm also getting a tour of your house, which I love. Yeah,
it's been photographed a lot already. I had nine trees
up and there's all kinds of stuff everywhere. But okay,
see i'm mom failing. We have a we're moving right now.
So I have a tiny tree up with no decorations.
I'm like, Sunny's one she won't remember, right, It's fine. Here,
I'll show you the playroom. This is this is what
I'm most proud of if we're going to talk about

(55:57):
moms and I'll just we'll just taking a work real quick. Great,
let's see the playroom. I'm almost done. Here's everybody in
the playroom. If you can see this, can you stay? Hi? Everybody? Hi?
Oh my gosh, it's so wow. Creating a designated space

(56:19):
for your children to go so you can be an
adult is another tip. Yes, yes, yes, a playroom is
really essential. Yes. Um, okay, so what are all the photogs?
What are what is all your homegoing photograph for? You
said you're shooting a TV show, You're doing you work
with HDTV? Can you tell us any exciting things we

(56:41):
can be looking forward to? Well? So can you see? Sorry,
I'm just trying to get this out. Um. When we
moved to Nashville in a nutshell, our house was featured
as a dream home on Property Brothers because I'm some
work that I had done to it. And so from there, um,
I ended up. I don't have a design degree, but
people just started asking me to do things and I
just didn't. Chase Rice's basement, Jim and I remodeled his

(57:04):
kitchen for him, and so that would be in some
magazines and I have a writing contract with HDTV and
styling and I'm Home Goods national spokesperson. So what it
just happened? Do you believe that about life? Like I
I really believe that about life, Like I think that
like obviously you work hard, you have goals, but then

(57:26):
there's this whole other element of life that just sort
of like flows in and it's like things just keep
cutting out. Oh really is it cutting out again? Yeah?
I don't think it's me though, Maybe don't. I don't.
I don't know. I can you. I'm hoping it's I
think I'm Can you hear me now? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Okay can you hear me? Okay? Okay, can you hear me? Yep? Yeah, okay.

(57:48):
I said, there's this whole thing of life or like
you can work hard and you know, you have your
goals and you have your ambition and you um, you hustle,
but then there's this other part of life, like you said,
we're stuff sort of like flows and like you can't
really plan for it and it just sort of like happens.
And I feel like that's sort of like the magic
part about life where it's like you look back and

(58:09):
like someone could look at you and look at your
life right now and be like, wow, how did she
get all this stuff going? Like there's it's so amazing.
But you break it all down, and so much of
it is you're just hard work, You're continued ambition, your hustle,
your desire to be great and follow your passion. But
then these other things just flow in. I think you
just embrace it all. You embrace the chaos, you embrace

(58:30):
the bad stuff, you embrace the good stuff. Um, you know,
for me, it was just kind of like I like
to decorate. I don't have a degree in decorating. It's
kind of like you don't have to be You don't
have to go to Berkeley School of Music to be
a musician, Like I didn't go to design school to
do this. Like and I remember when home said, you know,
would you take on this role for us I study?
Are you sure? Me? Like me, are you? I don't

(58:52):
have And they said yeah. And so I think part
of it is just doing what you enjoy, and then
the other part is making sure that you take care
of yourself and your family and you just brace that
roller coaster ride along the way, like I certainly, I
mean I have multiple meltdowns per week, but then I
have multiple high points per week, you know, And it's
just understanding that, you know, everything is temporary, This too

(59:16):
shall pass. Like anytime there's a bad thing, I said,
you know what, in two weeks, this will be fine,
or if this project is over then or just uh.
Holidays is super busy for me because it's media and
some of the influencing stuff, and it's crazy. And I said,
but you know what, come January two, I'll be fine,
you know. So I think it's just keeping things into perspective.
My mother gave me great advice, and she said, don't project,

(59:38):
you know, don't project what's gonna happen tomorrow, don't project
what's gonna happen two weeks from now. Just kind of
do what you can today and just kind of be good.
My grandmother said, do the best you can and forget
about it. I love that do the best you can
and forget about it. I love that. Sometimes I get
lost in an emotional mess of feelings and I'm like,
I'm tired of that. I've got to get more of
a your mentality. I feel like you're more like, Okay,

(59:59):
let's have a moment. Let's feel it, let's cry it out,
let's melt done, and then moving on. Yes, And that
kind of came with age though, you know, like I mean, truthfully,
that's not how I operated in my twenties. Um, but
now I just know that everything always works itself out.
It really does. Like it always works itself out. It does. Yeah,
and you might as well not just sit around and
be moping and obsessed and upset about it forever. Deal

(01:00:22):
with it, do the best you can, make the best
decision you can in the circumstances you're in, and then
move on. Right, That's kind of how I operate. I
love that, Jenny, I love that. Gosh, I could just
talk to you forever. You're so well that again, when
we we'll have another we'll have a play date with
Sonny and Asher the little one. Love that, Okay, So
tell everyone where they can find you. And you told
me how to pronounce your name. It's Jenny ryme Old,

(01:00:44):
but you spell it are It's it's at Jenny rym
Old on Instagram j E. And then why r E
I m O L D Jenny ryme Old. I love it.
I love it, Gosh, You're just full of and the
thing I'm loving about your Instagram is you are just
sharing awesome tips about all of this that we've talked about.

(01:01:04):
I mean, you're fun. You've got fashion tips, you've got
design tips, you've got style tips, and you've got parenting tips,
you've got marriage tips, You've got all the tips. I
try to keep it like real to who I am,
and that's not like a catchphrase. And I think for
me is I always say I had the liberty to
be more honest because I don't rely on this. If
the Instagram ended tomorrow's for me, I might be relieved.
You know, I'm not scared. I'm not scared to tell

(01:01:27):
you about my camel toe proof thong. You know, like
you're a great star. You should start your brand. It
should be called just the tip, because you're offering all
the time. You going back another direction too, But I
just I feel like I just share what is me,
and that's me and this is what you get. So
sometimes you get parenting and sometimes I'll tell you how

(01:01:49):
to prevent camel toe and a pair of leggings. I
love it and we need to know all of it.
I mean, life information. It's a well rather of life
right there. Yeah, Okay, I always in my podcast with
leave your Light, So what do you want people to know? Wow,
that is a big question. I think I'm gonna go

(01:02:11):
back to kind of what my grandmother said is do
the best you can with what you have and with
what you know, and then let it go. You can
only do what you are capable of doing. Don't trying
to do too much. Don't cut yourself short either, but
just live in the moment, do what you think is
best for yourself, and then move forward. I love that.

(01:02:34):
I love that. Okay. My one last question just me personally,
because it's now fifteen months old. When do you think
children should start school or mother's day out? So I
always started at three, but with Asher, my youngest, I
started him two days a week at two. It was
just I was feeling like two was a good time. Okay,

(01:02:55):
so great. So you know, you know your kid, you know,
like I know my kid, and my kid as the
number seven of seven super social. He was ready to go.
Grace my oldest was super social, and so I think,
you know, I wouldn't put them in super full days
if you don't have to, but you know, two years old,
two days a week a couple hours to meet some friends,
and then this year he's in three days, three days

(01:03:17):
a week. I feel like Sonny is just ready for simulation,
and I feel like she's ready to learn, Like she
is so busy and she wants to do stuff, and
I'm like, I'm just not that mom who knows how
to create all these century board activities, and like I'm
not I hated school. I mean, I should get myself tested.
I hated school. I was never good at school. Like
I'm more about feelings and let's talk and let's hug
and can I hold you and make you feel loved?

(01:03:39):
And when she gets older, of course I'll talk to
her about her feelings and all that. But like I'm
not like, oh, let's do an art and craft project,
like I don't even know you get moved in. I
will kind and help you design a little space for
her in your house, and I'll show you how you
can do those things in your house where you are
not like, Okay, we're gonna sit down and do arts
and crafts right now, but how they and do it

(01:04:00):
independently in terms of very emotional and developmental brain activity.
Oh amazing, because we're building her a little playroom and
I would love that, and I will absolutely be taking
you up on that, and I will absolutely be taking
you up on getting it by someone to get her tested,
probably three or so. Okay, you're my new go go
to guru person. I hope that you're excited that I'm
in your life, because I'm not. That's fine. It's funny

(01:04:21):
because I I was telling my daughter somebody before, well
I'm sorry, I was telling um my daughter before. I said,
you really like her. And I followed you on Instagram
for a long time just because I thought you were funny.
You were really I remember when you were breastfeeding and
you were like, listen, if you don't enjoy this, then
just move on. And I remember, like I respect that
about her, like she's just telling you how it is,

(01:04:41):
Like listen, I'm gonna talk about breastfeeding my baby and
if you don't like it, please feel free to move on. Yeah. Well,
and that I need you in my life because I
tend to fall down an emotional rabbit hole hot mess
express lane where I need to learn how to be
more like, Okay, I'm having a feeling, I'm having a
little bit of meltdown, and now I need to like
move on, like your grandmother said, move on, do the
best I can't do the best you can and forget

(01:05:03):
about it. That's what we're thinking. Everybody can do the
best you can for that day and let it go.
That's like the best mantra because I send us stay
swirling and feelings and it's not helpful at all. And
so I love your philosophy. My grandmother lived till she
was ninety five years old, married fifty something years, raised
a great family, and she that was her big thing.
And so I think it's super helpful. Like you can't

(01:05:25):
do what you can't do, you know, and you can't
that you can forget about it and then also seek
help like wait, like talking to you, I'm like, okay,
you are offering information that is helpful to me. So
like if you have outlets to seek help and like guidance,
like take those, you know, don't be afraid of therapy either,
Like therapists are like trained, they're like friends with great advice.
Like a lot of my good advice comes from going

(01:05:47):
through therapy after I had a divorce, after I lost
a child, when I was stressed out earlier in the year,
like I went to a therapist this year because I
was so stressed out and it was just talking to
a good friend. Who is you know able to give?
You are like life tips. I love it, painful, Jenny.
I'm so happy to have you in my life, and
I think you're amazing and I'm so inspired by you.

(01:06:09):
This was such an incredible interview. You're such an amazing
woman in so many ways. And thank you for joining
me today. Thank you. All Right, we'll talk soon. I'll
be over there designing little spaces for so I can't wait.
I'm seriously so excited. All Right, I'll tell you bye bye,

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Host

Caroline Hobby

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