Kristine Carlson is best known for her book series, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff," of which she co-wrote with her late husband, Dr. Richard Carlson. "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff," went on to become a New York Times bestseller - selling over 25 million copies worldwide. Kristine and I talk all about:
• how living presently is a principle of happiness
• finding peace in your inner world when the outer world is chaotic
• finding joy after grief
• and how living tuned into the divine allows miracles to happen.
Kristine offers advice and shares stories that are sure to pull on your heart strings. She encourages all of us to show up everyday with pure intentions and an optimistic heart. She says that by intentionally living in the flow of life and listening to the nuances being whispered around us, we allow our souls to live more peacefully and presently.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carol, she's queen, she's getting not afraid of just cal sound.
So it's a thrill for me to have this interview
(00:30):
right now. I was telling Christine right when we started,
I feel like I must be getting in line and
doing some good cleaning out of like bad store energy
that was holding me back because I have been such
a fan of you for so long, and the fact
that you are on my podcast. I didn't actually know you.
I just knew your books and your husband's books. The
fact that you are on my podcast, I'm like, I
(00:52):
am living right, I am on track that I am
attracting someone like you into my life because you are
in credible you and your husband, your late husband, Richard.
This is Christine Carlson right here. Y'all wrote together the
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's all small Stuff
(01:14):
series of books. I mean that it's like don't Sweat
the small Stuff and like Chicken Soup for the Souls.
Those are like those books that are so ethic and
um influential in your life, like all the your books
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. My dad grew up telling
me about this all the time, Just like once y'all's
book came out, It's like, this is it, this is it,
(01:35):
this is how you do it. Y'all were still cutting edge.
I feel like the world is kind of catching up
to this way of thinking now and we're all starting
to try to get in line with like all the
tips that y'all said, like take a breath before you talk,
you know, like enjoy, love what you have, don't want
what you don't have, like all these these these techniques
(01:57):
that y'all share that are pretty simple, but it's actually
very hard to grasp because like we like to make
life so messy as humans. Y'all like knew it was
simple early on. So welcome. I'm so glad to have you. Great,
thank you so much for having me. It is such
an honor to have you, Christine truly. Um, I want
(02:19):
to just kind of get in too, before we like
get into like what you're doing now, which is you
have a lifetime movie coming out with Heather Lock. They're
starring as you. I mean, no good deal. You've been
on Oprah, You've been on the Today Show, You've been
everywhere and done it all. You're one of those people
that literally has done it all. You have seen anyone
who we have held on a pedestal who we think
(02:40):
is like incredible, like you know, oh my god, Oprah Winfrey,
she's the greatest of all times. You know her, she
knows you. She had your book by her bed, like
you're one of those people that has like you have
touched all of the parts of life, you know, like
there's nothing off limits for you, which I love. And
you're so connected to your soul. So you have such
a perspective that I cannot wait to die it into.
(03:01):
I want to talk about you and your husband Richard,
and how you guys met and how y'all became this
incredible force together. That's that sprung these books forward. Well,
we met um back in nineteen eighty fought No. One
(03:22):
UM at Pepperdine University, so we were literally college sweethearts.
I was eighteen, he was twenty, and we met one
day after Sunday brunch walking along campus and we just
it was really crazy because that one day I called
my mom on Sunday's because it was long distance, it
was long before cell phones, and called my mom on
(03:44):
Sundays and my mom asked me the question, Um, have
you met anybody interesting in school? Like moms do and
I said, yeah, and just out of my mouth, just
I said, I think I just met the man I'm
going to marry. How did you know that? You know,
it was so um, it was such a beautiful first meeting.
Richard was so grounded um in himself. I always said
(04:07):
he was like a twenty year old that was a
forty year old man in all the good ways. Like
he was so grounded and centered and there was a
comfort level when I spoke with him. It immediately I
realized that I had never been more myself with a
guy like I. I had been able to drop into
this really true place in myself where I didn't feel
(04:30):
uncomfortable at all. And and I and I just he
just checked all my boxes immediately. You know. It was
like it was everything from the way he looked, to
his smile, to the light that he had, to the
gentleness that he had, um in the enthusiasm, and just
the presence. You know, he he always was a super
(04:52):
super present guy. And I didn't really couldn't have described
those things in that way at that age, but they
were all things that I was looking for in a
in a partner and a maid. And I just didn't
think i'd ever find him in a twenty year old man.
I thought, I thought, I'm going to be one of
those women that marries much later in life. And then
there he was. He was just standing right before me,
(05:15):
and I was like, this is the man that I'm
supposed to be with, and I just knew he did too.
How did you guys get so soulful and so grounded
and so connected at the ages of eighteen and twenty
Because most people, like I'm I'm about to be forty,
and I have been a deeply soulful, empathetic person my
(05:36):
whole life, but I have been lott and all over
the blaze and like just like splatter paint for so long,
like I did not know how to like get it
all together. So the fact that you guys were so
grounded and like able to identify that you want this
soulful relationship, you want this grounded relationship, You're looking for
something bigger? How did where did that come from? You guys?
(06:00):
It's such a young eight you know. What was so
interesting about our journey was that um, we both had
this real seeker kind of um quality to us, and
Richard had UM read Wayne Dyre because he was a
college athlete. Richard was an All American tennis player. So
(06:23):
he was actually slated number one at Pepperdine when I
met him, And so he was he was an exceptional athlete,
like really played Wimbledon, I mean really an incredible tennis player.
And and so he had already read Erroneous Zones by
Wayne Dyer, and and he was exposed to Ramdass and
Stephen Levin really young from his dad. His dad had
(06:46):
a large company and would bring these people in his
guest speakers to his company. And so we were on
a seeking journey. And I think because of the timing
being kind of the New Age movement, we sort of
like we had. We started to work with a transpersonal psychologist,
and that means so transpersonal psychologist uses UM a lot
(07:12):
of spiritual practice and meditation in their in their in
their work, and they use a lot of modalities. And
so we were exposed through the spiritual um psychologist, this
transpersonal psychologist too like Ricky and breathwork to rebirth thing
to UM meditation, and we started meditating UM right away.
(07:36):
And and once we started meditating UM, that changed our world.
It just opened our entire world up. So I want
to talk to you about meditating because everyone who was
centered and grounded and soulfully connected and who lives in
this higher vibration like yourself, Meditation is a huge practice.
I meditate, but I had not gotten to the place
(07:59):
where I do it consistently. It is so important to
do it consistently, right, tell me what happens when you
consistently meditate so I can like click this in my
own head to make sure I do this because I
know it's a game changer for your life. Yeah. I mean,
let's face it, we live in a world where we
are bombarded with UM technology all the time, and it
(08:20):
doesn't really create a lot of presence to be scrolling
through on your screen all day long. You know, like
that's just not that's just not what presence is. But UM,
you can counteract on a lot by just putting your
phone away and practicing you know, twenty minutes maybe once
or twice a day if you can UM a very
(08:41):
quiet form of meditation. Now there's all different kinds of
meditation for a real active mind, guided imagery meditation is
really nice because it gives you, UM somebody to guide you.
Like on my I actually have a five part I'll
have to send it to you. A five part don't
sp what the small stuff guided um in megory meditation series, Yes,
(09:02):
you do. I do, will be getting that and using
Maybe that's how I start my meditation. Don't set the
small stuff A five step guided imagery meditation. Yeah, there's
like a lesson that don't sweat lesson, and then I
take you through a guided meditation with beautiful music. So
it's a little more active, you know, but it's still
the goal is is not. The goal in meditation is
(09:25):
not to stop thinking. It's to quiet your mind down
so that you can begin to witness your thinking. And
and this is the big difference between people who meditating
people who don't, is you start to be able to
see your thoughts as dominoes in a row versus your
mind is spinning and ruminating on things you don't even
(09:46):
know you're ruminating on, or you're worrying about something, and
you don't even you're not even aware that you're really worried,
you know. So that's why what we have all like
you said, we have all these thoughts bombarding us all
the time. And if you don't ever take the time
to realize that though that those thoughts are not in
control of us. We're just getting flooded. So we have
to like watch them float by, like honestly, like on
(10:08):
a cloud. And then we get to choose what we
dive into, what we pursue, what we turn into reality,
as opposed to just letting every thought become a reality. Yeah, absolutely,
absolutely so yeah, so I mean, and then the research
um when in the seventies, the early seventies, Maharishi came
(10:29):
over to the United States and he introduced transcendental meditation
to the Beatles, and so you know the Beatles, Um,
we're like, you know that they were like so prominent
at that time that as as rock stars, they began
to meditate. And and so Maharishi um started to do
(10:51):
a lot of scientific studies on the benefits of meditation.
And so now there's over six hundred studies to date
that talk about the benefits of like transcendental meditation, and
all transcendental meditation is is different than guided imagery, is
that through Transcendental Meditation dot org, you can go there
(11:11):
and register for a class anywhere in your area. They
teach you, like they give you this mantra and it.
It's a mantra, like a two syllable mantra that's your
own mantra, but it doesn't have any meaning, So it's
just something to attach your mind too, so that it
quiets your mind. So basically, you sit and you always
(11:35):
just gently return to this mantra that you're given. You
don't but your mind will wander and they teach you
that that that's normal. It's like a cycle that your
mind goes in. And so again, the point is not
to stop thinking. It's impossible for us to stop thinking.
But the point is to let your brain distress. And
(11:56):
that's what meditation does too. It distresses your brain and
so it calms your entire central nervous system, which then
in turn affects your health because with a calm central
nervous system, you're not producing as much cortisol, the stress
hormone that's very dangerous to your health. So you know,
cortisol is good to a certain point where it wakes
you up in the morning, gets you out of bed.
(12:18):
But when we're getting these like slams of cortisol all
day long because we're stressed out, that's never going to
be good for our health. So meditation has all sorts
of a huge range of you know, you receive mental clarity,
it's a mindfulness practice, and then it's incredibly good for
your your health. That's what I also love about your
(12:38):
books is I think so many people in the United
States especially, we feel like, oh, let's just take a pill,
let's just fix this, let's just put a band aid
on our health issues. But really health is directly affected
to our thoughts, to our brain, to what we are
feeding our mental health, and what we are obsessing and
(13:00):
what we're thinking about, and how we are reacting, and
how we are being controlled by our thoughts and everything
flooding our mind. And so take reading these books that
you guys have written and blessed the world with. They
give you this opportunity to realize that we actually have
a chance to to be in control of our thoughts.
(13:21):
And like you said, we'll never stop thinking, but we
get to choose, and we get to choose how we respond,
and we get to choose how we move in this world.
And that affects our health, which is really it's a
direct connection. Yeah, it affects everything. I mean, if you
think about it affects um your relationships, if you if
(13:42):
you can respond to something, you know, to something that
might be otherwise like a negative trigger, you know, versus
react to it. You know, you could be UM having
some healthy communication versus UM maybe a fight with somebody,
you know. So there's so many different ways that when
you practice life a certain way, it's a little bit
(14:05):
like us. For it takes a lot of practicractice to
get it right, but once to do it, and you
practice it over and over and over again the same
way you you doll of mastery. And that's what Don't
what the small Stuff series is all about, are simple
ways to practice life so that you can live better.
(14:27):
And living better means that you are UM interacting in
your relationships in a healthy way. It means that you're
more productive at work, your creativity is higher in any
kind of problem solving skills. You know. These are the
ways that our lives get better when we practice life
(14:50):
in a way that's resonates with what we value too.
And I think what's really amazing about the Don't Sweat
series is that it transcended boundaries of race, age, religion,
um all over the world. You know, it was It's
been a popular series all over the world because copies
sold worldwide, right, and I'm probably low balling it. Actually,
(15:12):
it's probably more than twenty five million at this point. Yeah,
And I mean if you think oft yeah, if you
think about that number, you know, I mean I always
get these messages from people that they got the book
in a garage sale or you know, so that number
has an exponential growth to it because the books live
on past a household. Sometimes people find them in planes,
(15:34):
you know, So you just don't even know how many
people have read even one book, and and um. But
beyond that, you know, the beautiful thing is that the
world and of itself, we all have kind of similar values,
were more like than we are different. You know. We
we have different lifestyles, of course, but we all want health,
(15:55):
we all want our families to be happy, we all
want safety and secure are the and and most people
want to know they've they've lived well, and they've lived gratefully,
and they've lived kindly. You know. These are these are
kind of human values that that people aspire to all
over the world. And so I think that's why don't
(16:16):
the Small Stuff series has continued to inspire people because
it's easy, it's simple stuff it's like write a heartfelt letter,
you know, and now we know from like Sean Acre's
research on happiness that writing a hot, heartfelt letter actually
boosts our own like good, you know, our good oxtytocin
in our own heart, and being grateful is joy in
(16:38):
the heart. We know that from heart math. You know,
so all the things that you're right that we were
current pioneers and talking about and leading people to have
the research behind them now that substantiate how wonderful these
things are for your own outlook. And believe me, it
really helps no matter what happens in your life. I
mean really, I've been through some very difficult times the
(17:01):
last fifteen years and I still feel like a very grateful, grounded,
truly happy woman. That's incredible because you have been through
some really hard times. Um the book series tell me
if I'm missing one you have Don't Sweat the small Stuff,
and it's all small stuff. Don't sweat the small stuff,
(17:22):
in love with your family, at work for men. You
have a book called Don't Worry Make Money, which I
kind of want to talk about that because I want
to know how to not worry make money and I
feel like you have it you figured it out very simply.
So I need that like I need the format here um,
and then you can be happy no matter what. So
you wrote all of these with your husband, and we
(17:44):
have for men, women and moms too, for men, women
and moms. Which honestly, if you want to give a
great gift to someone, you should just someone should just
give the set because it's like, here you go. Here
is how to live your life and actually enjoy it
and thrive and feel connected. And I feel like you
are a blessing to this world and you can bless
(18:06):
the world because like you said, it is simple. It
is you provide steps that everyone can can grasp no
matter where you are in the world, in your life,
in your situation. It's things that we can take ownership
up and have control over. So you wrote these with
your husband. And then first off, how did the inspiration
(18:28):
come to you? Guys? To begin with? So, y'all are
you meet in college? You have this connection. You are
both super ground. It's super soulful. It's like instant you
both know it. So here you guys go, You've connected
and now you are this ultimate power couple, soulful powerful couple.
How did you guys get this idea to be like, oh,
we're gonna write this book and we have this amazing
(18:49):
title and idea. Well, it doesn't happen that easily. I
mean that sounds really nice. I just tried to wrap
it up in a boat for you, Christine. Yeah. Yes.
So it took about ten years and ten books for
Richard and uh and and you know, building um his degrees,
so he got a master's and PhD and psychology probably
(19:12):
faster than any human could um. Once he discovered that
he really wanted to write, he was like, I need
to get a master's and PhD. Which I thought was
super smart, which I had done it with him. Was
that kind of guy he was like, once he got interested,
he just was it was he was focused. Oh yeah,
that athletic prowess and a nature in him and discipline
(19:36):
that he had was really incredible to watch how that
transferred over into you know, his life and and how
he built this empire of this brand, you know, by
just the discipline of of doing things over and over.
It took ten years, so he wrote ten books prior
to Dunce with the small stuff. And and quite interestingly,
(19:58):
this is when your age it um, your agent really
earns um. Sorry, I think Mike there this is when
your agent really earns their commission. Um. But stuff was
supposed to be called a gentler kinder you, she said
(20:21):
the first chapter. No, and she she pulled the first chapter.
It was just about the small stuff because he tells
a story about Wayne Dyer and how Wayne Dyer had
given him this um quote for one of his books,
you Can Be Happy No Matter What, on the Swedish
version version, and the Swedish publisher had taken that quote
(20:44):
and put it on his next book, as if Wayne
had put that quote on his next book. And Richard
was just so upset. So he writes Wayne a letter
and he says, hey, my publisher did this. I just
want you to know I had nothing to do with it.
If you want me to, I'll pull all the books
off the shelves because I just don't have the small stuff.
And it's also small stuff was well know. So so
(21:06):
it wasn't the quote without the small stuff. He just
gave him an endorsement quote and they put it on
a different book than the book he endorsed. And so
Wayne Dyer writes Richard this letter and says Richard, there's
two rules in life. Don't sweat the small stuff one
and number two, it's all small stuff. Leave the quote
stand as is, and so don't worry about it, basically,
(21:30):
And so then that was. Then then the agent, Patty Brightman,
she comes along and she says, Richard, that's the title
of your book. Don't slip the small stuff, don't you
know that's the title of your book. And so um, really, honestly,
like that changed the entire everything. And you know, like
I said, that's when your agent earns her commission forever.
(21:55):
And she earned it, you know, and she earned it,
and boy, she made she's made million of dollars too.
So everybody. Isn't it great when it's a win win
for everyone? Absolutely? Yeah, you're you When you have an agent,
it's a bit like a lung. It's actually the longest
marriage of your life because it goes it goes past
your death and past their death, you know what I mean,
(22:15):
Like it goes on and on and on. So well,
in that title, you're right, it is. It's so it's
so catching, like it sucks you right in and it
makes you realize, okay, okay, it makes you realize that
there's that this is a guide for life that I
need to read. So how did you guys collect these chapters?
And you said all these chapters are based off of
(22:37):
your own personal life, So obviously y'all are your case steady?
You guys? Are you guys are practicing this on yourselves?
How did you start this process? Did you how did
you gather these insights? What was your process? You know?
It really kind of happened over our morning coffee. Honestly,
the first book, I hadn't even read it until I
(23:00):
was on my way to Italy on a flight, and
and um, and it was printed and I and I
think Richard wrote three books that year. He wrote UM,
Don't Spit the Small Stuff Slow Slowing down to the
Speed of Life with Joe Bailey, and then he wrote
Don't Worry to Make Money, all in the same year.
And they didn't get published, all in the same year.
(23:20):
They staggered him, but he wrote them in that year.
And I sat on the plane and I read this
Don't with the Small Stuff you know in in in
its pre proof form, and I was just like I
was devouring it. And it was that bite sized chapter
that worked so well. And when I got to Italy,
I called him up and I said, oh my god,
(23:41):
hon you this is amazing. You have nailed it. This
is different than all your other work. This is so
this is so cool. And and then from the time
that book which we came out when I was in Italy, um,
it just flew it like flew off the shelves. It
was like they not print that book fast enough. It
(24:02):
was crazy. But I just want to share this crazy
story that I think you'll really love. I was just
gonna say, do you think that so prior to Sorry,
I'm my connections a little behind you, so I'm asking
you questions whatever, But do you feel like that was
because he was so divinely connected that it flew off
the shelves because this message was so divine. And then
(24:24):
I want to hear your story. Sorry, I I do
you know Richard was very divinely connected as m I.
I mean we we really did have a very deep
spiritual practice um and and always felt like our work
has come through us as instruments. You know. It's like
we always had this prayer and it's divine love, divine
(24:47):
love playing me as an instrument of your finally tuned
orchestra of life. And that's been our prayer from early on.
Divine Love, we say it again, Yes, Divine Love, play
me as an instrument in your finally tuned orchestra of life.
(25:11):
And that's how we would end our meditation every day.
And I still do. I'm receiving that right now. That
was amazing. I'm gonna I'm gonna print that out and
use that. That's incredible because that's what it is. That
is what life is. Okay, tell us a story. So
UM about UM. Seven years into Richard's writing career, he
(25:32):
had written a book called Shortcut through Therapy UM, and
he was UM expecting to get a much larger advance
like for for that book. UM. At the time, he
was still he was running a happiness training program, like
he called it, because he he didn't really believe in
traditional psychology. So he was teaching people how to be happy.
(25:56):
And this is before coaching, before the word coaching ever happened.
You know. In fact, a lot of coaches used had
had used don't swip the small stuff in their coaching practice,
we found out later. But but he had this day
and he was thinking about quitting writing because he didn't
make enough money. And we had two small kids, and
we were sitting at a cafe and he said, I
(26:17):
don't I and I noticed he was very low for him,
like he never really was that low, and he was low.
And I said, what's going on? And he said, I
think I might have to go get a real job,
like I think I might have to get a job
in human resources or something, because I don't feel like
I'm pulling in the kind of money that we need
to live in California and to not go into debt.
I'm getting uncomfortable with our dad and and and I
(26:39):
was like, no, no, you can't do that. You can't
do that. You know you love to write, You love
to write. And and so we went home that night.
We had a babysitter. Babysit left and the phone rang,
and I picked up the phone, and on the phone
there was this woman and she says, HI, this is
Alice from the Oprah Winfree Show. She said, I had
(27:01):
the strangest experience about twenty minutes ago. Your husband's book
You Can Be Happy No Matter What, popped off the
back shelf and hit me in the back of the head.
While I was looking for a don't like a stress
management book and it and it literally popped off the
back shelf and hit her in the back of the head.
She said, do you think your husband could be on
(27:22):
a plane tomorrow to the Oprah Winfrey Show. And that
was his very first invite to open and it happens.
It happened twenty minutes after he said he was going
to quit writing. And I tell that story because I
want people to know that every person who is tremendously
successful in this world almost quit right before they became successful.
(27:47):
And a lot of people, a lot of people do
quit just before they're about to hit it. So the
next time you're doing something and you feel like you
you're hitting your head against the wall and you've done
it the same way ten times and it doesn't seem
to be working, hanging there a little bit longer because
you could just be right right next to your breakthrough.
(28:08):
And that's what happened for him. That appearance on Oprah
broke open his world as an author. And it wasn't
as if that book became a huge bestseller, but he
became the next it guy in the in the world's
view like of oh, we need to watch this guy.
This guy is an up and comer, and she she
(28:29):
loved him, and so yeah, it's such a great story.
We had so many stories like that, and we have time.
At the end, I'll tell you another really powerful story.
I want, I want, I want to get Well, that's kissman,
and that's that's that's kissman, and that is That is
what happens when you live a tune to the divine
(28:52):
and you have miracles happen all the time when you're
tuned into the divine and you're serving the divine. Um
you know, this is, this is how and it's kind
of a funny thing. But people all often ask me
how come all that stuff always happens to you? And
I said, well, first of all, I noticed it, But
(29:12):
second of all, it's my intention to live as close
to the Divine as that possibly can, you know. And
it doesn't mean I don't live in the world. I do.
I mean I live in the world, you know. But
I bring the Divine into my daily practice and into
my world, and I try to live that way and
everything I do with integrity and attention and and uh
(29:35):
an open heart and a pure heart. It doesn't always happen.
I have my conflicts, and I have my my stuff,
you know, I do, but I do my best. I'm
always trying to live at the highest level I can.
What is your mantra and what is your intention? When
you if you're going to sum it up, because it's
(29:57):
so much like if I was going to break it
down from all your books and all of your speaking
and all of your everything that you've shared with the world.
But what is it that you yourself, the source says
and goes to for your mantra to get centered, to
stay in that divine And how do you feel it?
How do you know it when you're in the divine? Well,
(30:17):
I have I have several mantras, but mine is really
to live very presently, you know that. I think that's
another piece of you know, when you live super presently,
then you live in the flow. And being in the flow, um,
it absolutely requires you to live as presently as possible. Um.
(30:38):
And that just means that your show up every moment.
You know, you show up as yourself with that pure
heart and that pure intention. And like you said earlier,
you know that it sounds very simple to do, but
it's actually quite a lifetime choice and practice. It's not
as if you decide one time to become a present person.
(30:59):
You have to a site every moment to be a
present person, and that means sometimes it's uncomfortable, and sometimes
you might listen to somebody you know who's talking that
you don't really want to listen to. But then if
you look for that person's light in their eyes and
you attune to the feeling that they have and what
they're yearning for, which may be just to be heard,
(31:21):
then that allows me, you know, to be more present
with that person. I'm always like doing my best to
land in the present moment and present moment living is
one of our greatest teachings and all of our books,
and we talk a lot about that, and it's a
principle of happiness, it's a principle of living well. Um,
(31:42):
people who are not present are incredibly distracted. And when
you're incredibly distracted, you miss the beautiful nuances of life
that bring those miracles to you. And everyone, no matter what,
have the ability to be present and experience or cool?
Is that true? Absolutely everyone? What if someone feels like
(32:05):
they're just has everything stacked against them, gains them from
a bad upbringing, abuse, financially not blessed, like all sorts
of like everything stacked against them. How do they start
moving into finding this connection, this divine connection and this flow?
Like what if you are born into a life that
(32:27):
is just like not what you want? How do you
get into the flow of what you feel you were
made to live? Well? I mean that's that is a
very very difficult situation because you know, oftentimes life itself
doesn't encourage UM the right mindset, you know, for people
(32:50):
to UM to move toward gratitude, for example. But I
would say to somebody like that, you know, the best
hope that you have is to find peace in your
inner world when your outer world is chaotic and not
moving in the direction that you like. And the bay
we do that is we do ground ourselves in the
(33:10):
things that we are grateful for. UM. I just have
this friend who's been dealing with UM a lot of
stress and a lot of like it's called like neuroplasticity pain,
and it's it's it basically means that the brain is
decided to create this pattern of pain, but it's not
really real. It's just that the brain has decided to
(33:32):
do that, found this place to do that in your
body because you're too stressed out, so it's it's almost
like a danger pain, like you always feel like you're
in danger or something. And one of the practices that
I encouraged him to do was, I said, it doesn't
matter how small a thing, but you must wake up
and think of what you're grateful for every single day.
(33:53):
And it doesn't matter if it's just being grateful for
the breath that you're able to take, or grateful or
anything running water. You know, it's really interesting is that,
you know, if it goes back to Victor Frankel and
Man's search for meaning. You know, I don't know if
you've read that book, but it's very profound, and and
(34:16):
he has that circumstance, he has the most horrific circumstances
of life, the most horrific, and and yet he finds
that optimism in his heart and creates this inner world
that's quite beautiful and utopian and peaceful. And that's that's
(34:37):
the only hope we have, is that our inner world
um is the world that we live in, and the
outer world is illusion anyways. And it's a very deep
spiritual concept to to think of it that way. But
when you really that the world is held together material
objects are held together by adams and light, and that's
(34:59):
it that it's not it's not a stable world when
you when we you know, we're not even our bodies
aren't even stable, which is why sometimes we die suddenly
and we leave our body behind. Because it's not a
stable world. And yet we've been tricked into believing and
thinking that the real world is what we see in touch.
(35:20):
The real world is really the inner world, and that's
the world of the soul. The topic of dying said
that suddenly this happened to you in your life with
your husband. You're on this journey with Richard. You didn't
it Obviously, you guys are meant to be. You have
this soul connection. Now you've aligned, you've started a family,
(35:43):
you've started this brand and this empire. But it's to
help elevate and heal and share this wisdom. And it's
all about getting stressed out of your life. It's all
about enjoying your life. And your husband died suddenly on
an airplane, right, is that correct? Yes, yes, he um
(36:05):
had a puldinary, a pulmonary embolism on the dissent that
like you, it's hard to know how these things happen
and you don't you know, you don't understand why. Um,
you know, he had some back pain, He had some
back issues, some pretty serious backage issues from his tennis days.
(36:26):
So that led to this deep veined thrombosis that he
was experiencing that we didn't know anything about. It was
only forty five. I was forty three. Um, we've been
together twenty five years at that point, and um yeah,
and I mean, you know, it's just it was like
it's a it was a very sudden loss, like super sudden.
(36:48):
You know. It's like one day you're in you you're
at the peak of your lives together. In the very
next moment he was, he was gone. And so but again,
like my philosophy, it wasn't as if it didn't it
help me, like not grieve. I grieved, of course, so
deeply and profoundly for about ten years. So it was
(37:10):
like a long you know. But but my philosophy is
about it too. And that's what your lifetime movie is
about as well. It is like your grief journals, your
heart broken open has not been turned into a lifetime movie,
right you the story of you, yes, yes, and yes
yes and and um yeah and so you know when
(37:32):
you say, like those ring accidents, I really believe that
in the sense of that Richards and my soul contract
was that we are both teachers in the sense and
we both have a different level of mastery. And his
was fulfilled. His his mastery was fulfilled at a young age,
(37:54):
and he really did pack a lot of life into
his forty five years. And and my sole journey as
his widow and his wife, was to continue on the
legacy and to find that teacher within me and to
um to watch myself heal. You know, I was really
set up in a lot of ways to um be
(38:16):
able to see myself heal and then be able to
translate that and transmit that um to other people and
through my work and through my books and through my
writings and and now even help people write books. Today.
I have a book do list program and I'm starting
a publishing company. And it's kind of crazy, you know
that the way life just twists and turns and takes
(38:38):
you in all these different directions. And you know, I
had such a full, incredible journey, And of course I
miss Richard every day, and um it's been fifteen years now,
but but life has returned to this incredible richness and
incredible fullness, and I am just filled with so much
joy um and having been loved by him and loving
(39:01):
him and having healed. And it's interesting because I feel
like I've been watching a lot of videos about spiritual
awakenings and stuff, because I feel like I've always been
on a spiritual awakening, but like, especially right now, I
don't know if there's something in particular going on with
the universe or if it's just going on within myself,
(39:22):
but I just feel very much like I am in
a big spiritual awakening right now. And people think, like, oh,
spiritual awakenings are just easy and it's awesome, and just
like peace signs up floating around on the field of flowers,
it is awful. Spiritual awakenings are awful, Like they make
you go through the depths of your soul, your pain,
(39:45):
your trauma, your deepest, darkest insecurities, everything that has been
preconditioned in you based on the life that you were
born into, and you have to examine it all and
look at it and try to understand what the teacher
is and the message is, and so for you, after
saying this, this is how I was feeling about you
(40:06):
and you're saying it. It's like you had this journey
with your husband. He completed his sole contract. He he
he achieved his sole purpose. He got in tune with it,
achieved it with like you said, was focused, like the
studied became Uh, you've got it all done. Like when
he wanted to do it, he did it. And now
you you're a part of your message is you have
(40:28):
You are teaching others how to heal through grief like
you had. You set yourself up with these books like
y'all are the ones who are teaching you. You wrote
a book you can be happy no matter what. Well,
I bet at one point you wanted to be like, well,
that's a bunch of bullshit, you know, but not really
because I mean, you believe it. But it's like you
now are being tested to the max. Here. You are
(40:49):
the one who wrote the books on how to find
joy and contentment and happiness and de simple and simplify
and take the stress out of your life and find
this joy no matter what. You are now being tested
to the rim of what you can handle as far
as grief as what a human can handle. And you
(41:10):
are that's your that's now part of your mission to
live through this, to heal and to share. And it's
like that's a tall order. That's a tall order. Yeah
it was. It was pretty messed up in some of
a lot of ways. Yeah, because it's like you wrote
part of the plan, you believe in these books, but
(41:30):
these are true. This is all true to you. But
now like you're having to actually like walk it on
a level that you could have never imagined. Oh yeah,
it's so true. And believing that did not go unnoticed
by me. I was like universe, energy, god, soul, what
all of that stuff is like Yeah, I mean I
(41:52):
don't even want to say how I really felt about it.
It's too crude, but I mean it makes sense. And
it's also like here you are doing all this work,
saying so connected to your soul, giving your life to
the flow and really locking into it, and it's like,
why do you have to be hit so hard because
you're so connected? And it's like, oh, because you can
(42:12):
handle it. But it's like that's not there, no, But
you know, on some level, I mean I think the
deeper the experience, the deeper the awakening, you know, And honestly,
like Richard's Richard is so with me today. You know,
his energy and his spirit is just so with me
and with our grandkids, and I you know, I had
(42:37):
to really learn how to transcend um the body and
how to find him where he was. You know, how
did you do that? Well? I mean I think, like again,
I was pretty set up for it with all the
work I've done, the personal growth work, the spiritual you know,
the spiritual knowingness that I had, and I just that sometimes, um,
(43:01):
when somebody very close to you dies, it just blows
you wide open, and it blew me wide open. And
it literally just blew my crown chakra and just my
whole body just just blew open. So I, UM, what happened?
It blew open? What did that feel like? I felt
(43:23):
like Richard was trying to show me where he was,
and it's in your body, just in my whole psyche,
you know, Like I I just felt like I was
having all these just spiritual experiences where he would show
me the outer edges of the universe. It was crazy.
I mean, like, how do what does that mean? The
outer edges of the universe. It's probably too hard to explain,
but can you try? In every word? Yeah, it's like
(43:46):
the like, there's this this darkness that's just like they
call it, you know, the abyss, but it's just so
beautiful and just so serene and full of creativity and
harmony and love of and I don't know, I just
I felt like he was taking me to these places
in my own soul and my own meditation with him.
(44:09):
Was it three meditation? No, it just it would be
like in the middle of the night, I feel like
he'd beholding me and then he'd be like talking to me,
like look where I'm going. I mean, people probably thinking, oh,
she's crazy, Like I'm all, but this is, this is
This didn't happen forever, but it happened during this time,
and then I had all these crazy experiences, like these
(44:30):
miracles happened. I want to share this one story because
it was powerful. So I was flying back with my
daughters from my parents fiftieth winning anniversary and this was
two years after Richard died, and I was on a
little commuter jet flying from Eugene, Oregon to San Francisco
(44:52):
and my daughters and I walk up to the ticket
agent and he says, hey, you know, you guys aren't
seated together. Do you want me to rearrange your seats
so that you can be seated together. And I said, oh, no,
it's a short flight. We don't care. They were teenagers,
you know, they didn't care. And he did it anyways,
which is really important part of the story. He took
it upon himself to rearrange our seats and then told me,
(45:16):
I've got you guys together. I really wanted you guys
to sit together. And says, oh great. So we go
and sit down on our plane and the girls are
in the um window and aisle next to me, and
the next window is open, and this man walks up
and you know, it's one of those small planes who
was kind of crouched over, and I have to get
up and let him in. But when he's standing there,
(45:38):
I get this weird chill like a children up and
down my spine and I'm like, oh, like wake up,
Like it was like that that wake up? What's happening here?
Wake up? And um and I I have to sit
down and have to really strong feeling that I am
supposed to talk him, and so I start to kind
(46:01):
of um make a conversation with him, but then he
pulls his laptop out and he clearly has to work.
So I quiet down, Well, it's only a fifty minute flight,
And the whole time I'm like, oh my god, I'm
supposed to talk to this guy. And then on the
descent of the flight he puts his laptop away. So
then I started to talk to him and I'm like,
is this the work day for you? And he goes, oh, yeah,
I'm really sorry. I would have loved to have chatted.
(46:23):
You know. We talked a little bit about why he
was there, why I was there, and and then I
and then he said, what about you. I know you
have your laptop. Is it a work day for you?
And I said, oh, no, you know, um, not really.
I mean every day is technically a workday. I'm a writer.
And he goes, oh, have you been published? And I said, yeah.
You know, you might be most familiar with my late
husband's work, Dr Richard Carlson. He wrote Jumps with the
(46:43):
Small Stuff. And the guy sat there and he just
he sat up and he got this really weird look
on his face, like and I go and he takes
a deep breath and he's not looking at me, and
I go, what did you know him? And he goes, no,
I didn't. I didn't know him. And then he's just
like he's quiet, you know, but he's he doesn't he's
(47:06):
just like wow, like he's just in shock. And I
said what, And he goes, did he die in a
flight to JFK a little over two years ago? And
I said, yeah, how did you know? How? How did
you know that? Like nobody knew it was he was
flying to JFK. Go how did you know that? And
he said, because I was seated directly behind him on
(47:28):
that flight. I was the first to help the crew
assist in lifting his body out of his seat. I
have full body chills. Yeah. Yeah. And what he didn't
know is that my prayer was I wanted to talk
to somebody who had been there with Richard when he died,
because I wasn't there, And it was such a pivot
(47:51):
turn in my own healing to speak to this man.
And then he looked at me and he said, I
always wanted to tell you he died very peacefully. So
not only was it like something that he was longing
to tell me, but I needed to hear that, and
I needed to know who was there who saw him,
because I never saw him again, you know, I never
(48:12):
got to see him again. You never got to see
his body again, No, huh, Now, because he we donated
his organs and he was in New York and they
cremated him after they donate after we donated his organs,
because he had a donor sticker on his card, and
so yeah, he saved eleven people's lives with his somebody
(48:33):
got his eyes. I was always so jealous. I'm like,
I want Richard Carlson's Have you met any of the
people who have his organs? Have? I have never met them? Um,
but I just I just think you will. I bet
they will cross your path one day. Yeah, you never know.
But isn't that that beautiful, such a beautiful your soul
because you had longed so deeply to meet someone who
(48:57):
was there and clearly this may and was longing for you.
Do people always say that, like it's inevitable that you
will meet when those energies are so intense in a line,
Do you feel like you were destined to meet him
because of the depth of the longing you had for
it and the depth of connection that we had through Richard?
You know, like that that imprint, that imprint was on him,
(49:20):
Like I felt it from the moment he stood in
front of me. But on him, Yes, he was connected
to Richard so deeply because to witness someone die and
to be there, that's he was. He's obviously a soul,
like you said, a soul agreement. His soul had made
some sort of agreement with Richard and you like y'all
are all in the soul agreement totally. And then the
(49:42):
guy who rearranged our seats at the ticket agent, he
was part of it because he felt that strong. He
was feeling that strong message to rearrange our seats. We
never would have sat next to that guy if he
hadn't done that. I gotta take this in for just
a second. I need to take it in because I
(50:04):
have I have like a few questions I want to
ask you from this, But I don't want to just
quickly ask you questions. I want to be intentional about
this because this, to me is such a huge part
of what where I am trying to get with my
life and what I'm trying to do with my life
is to also share this message, which is, like you
are speaking so loudly, we are divinely a part of
(50:29):
this symphony of this orchestra, all of us, all humans,
all life, everything on this earth. Why we are here.
We are meant to interact with souls and to heal
into find purpose within ourselves and share that it is.
But it is like, so life is so much bigger
(50:50):
than just this day to day grind that so many
of us get lost in. And if you can tune
into these frequencies, like you said, miracles can happen, but
you have to be a wake and in tune to
them to even know they're happening. Because it is like,
that is magical. That is a miracle, but it was
destined to happen because of all the intention that you
(51:12):
had in your soul and this man and Richard and
the fight intended like everyone, instead of just passing it off,
everyone listened and that's the key. Everyone listened to the
message that they felt in their soul and didn't just
brush it off. Yeah, it was. It was quite incredible.
It was definitely one of the most incredible experiences of
(51:32):
my life for sure. Did that start your healing process? No,
I think that kind of end that started to end
my I mean I it was only two years, but
I started to really heal. I mean I was healing,
but that really helped me move to the next level
and my healing um definitely. And I just felt so
(51:53):
I felt in grace, you know. I felt like I
had surrendered my to my grief. I had gone through
this total grieving process, and I felt so held and loved.
And I think that was the part that really surprised me,
as even like when I'd be grieving on my own
or Alane in my bedroom, I felt this total grace,
(52:17):
like a warm hug around me all the time, and
and I just these kinds of experiences. I felt like
Richard was very present, you know, and he was holding me.
So it helped me, helped me live. And this is
why I like to share these things with people. That
it's hard because some people don't they don't feel the
(52:38):
presence of their loved ones, and that's very hard. They
wonder why. But I think there's just this different layer
that you have to get to within your belief system
and and your own connection to the divine and your
own connection and practicing that connection. You know that that
the deeper your practice, the more awake you are. And
(53:00):
like you said, the listening is really key that we
have to listen to those nuances and that comes from
living incredibly presently. So now your goal in life is
to help entrepreneurs rise from the ashes to meet their destiny.
How do you do that? Absolutely? And some rays in
(53:24):
so many ways, like um, you know, I feel like
full is to re discover and to discover their greatest
dream for their life. You know, um that when they
you know, there's a lot of different ways we do that,
but usually it happens after a deep crisis. People um
(53:45):
have to reawaken and reinvent themselves and discover what their
new dream for their lives their life is. And and
then along with that, you know, with my partner Deborah
Evans Um with our book group, it's just been very
powerful to help people also bring their great work out
into the world through their writing. So it's it's been
a wonderful. I just feel like my journey just keeps
(54:06):
getting better and better. It's it's just been I love working,
so I love career. I love helping people and serving
and so it's it's all been amazing. It's just sad
my soul. And then I love being a grandma too,
So those two things, and you know, are really the
height height of my experience. Right now, I'm gonna wrap
(54:29):
up because I know you have a very busy day,
and I do not want to take all your time.
I have loved all of this so much. I want
to ask you, though, how do you help people find
their dream? Because I feel like also that is something
that I am very very passionate about. Is I feel
like we all have a purpose and we all have
a dream because I feel like that's ultimately the only
reason why we're here. I can't make make much more
(54:51):
sense of it other than we're trying to like be
here to manifest something in a physical form and experience
it with others. Do you feel that you feel like
that's why we're here? I do. I think. I think
we all came to the earth to do something pretty
profound and share our gifts with the world. And and
(55:12):
we all have gifts, you know, everyone has them. And
I think a lot of times, um, we have to
uncover what we value most to get to those gifts. Um.
Sometimes we live a life that we just end up living,
you know, and we find ourselves, you know, ten years
down the road, UM, in a career that doesn't really
(55:34):
nourish our soul. And maybe even a marriage that doesn't
even nourish your soul because the reason you chose it
at the time that you did, maybe you're young, you
chose for different reasons. You're a different person now. So
I feel like um, as people, we go through these cycles,
maybe every seven to ten years, where we need to
reevaluate who we are and what we value. And I
(55:57):
think when you tune into what you value, then you
can start to ask yourself based on what you value,
how can I serve? The highest question that we can
ask is how can I serve? And when you get
to that point, that's where the you're diving deep for
the pearl, that's where the world is wide open for
you to discover why you came to this earth is
(56:21):
answering that question how can I serve? So how can
people get involved with these courses that you teach? How
can people get all up in your space and your
grill and like and tell you something so funny and
not funny but like it's literally telling Ali my amazing
intern right here. That was before we started. I have
(56:42):
just all these incredible authors who have admired so much.
I've been coming into my life like yourself, like It's
just such a huge honor to me to get to
speak with you. I have always felt like I want
to write a book, but I do not have the
inspiration yet for it. I have written a book, but
it's not the right book. I have a file on
my email that's titled book. I have met with publishers
(57:05):
in Nashville like talking about a book, Like, I know
there is a book in in me, but I just
it's not ready yet. And so I love that you
have like a doula program, and like, how do you
apply for this, because I feel like I would love
to learn about, like how do you unearthed this thing
that you know you have in you somewhere? Well, our
(57:28):
program is on book doulas dot com and UM, yeah,
and you should. You should go check it out. We
actually start a new book incubator today that is really
designed UM for people to unearthed that great book that's
in them. Also, you know, you've done such a great
job of building a platform. But that's such a huge
(57:49):
piece in the publishing world today too. Is is honoring
um the idea that you need to build relationships with
people and build your own platforms. So we try to
teach that in a way that's very authentic to people
and and demystify some of the things about social media
that people really don't like. UM. So yeah, that's you
(58:10):
go there to book Doulas dot com and you can
check out our programs, um are big program is called
the book Incubator and um. From there, we have a
program called Momentum and um yeah we do private coaching too.
So it's super fun. I feel like for many years
I was Richard's News. Yes, yeah, it's so fun. It's
(58:33):
just such a joy. It really is such a joy.
And then I do a lot of women's retreats. UM
off my Christine Carlson dot com site. Um, you can
go and check out my women's retreats, which I absolutely love.
And then at Don't Sweat dot com. You may not
have seen that, but there's happiness training courses on don't
dot com. Um that I've been putting together the last
(58:56):
few years. So there's a little bit of everything everywhere.
And I'm just constantly trying to you know, um, add
more you know, add more content to the sites and
so forth. Um. It's an ongoing and ongoing UM endeavor. Amazing. Okay,
so let me just make sure I got the sites.
It's Christine Carlson dot com, Don't Sweat dot com, YEP book,
(59:19):
do Lah's b o Okay, d o U l a
s dot com. A doula is a birthing somebody who
helps so a woman get birth, but so we help
people birth their books. So okay, I'm about to get
all up in your girl. I hope I haven't driven
you too crazy that you're like, please never come back
around me. You're such a superfan and like you talked
to you fast and too much. I know loved this.
(59:44):
You're amazing and so much work you do. Thank you
for everything. And I always wrap with one question, which
is leave your light. And it's very open ended. What
do you want people to know? Oh my gosh, um m.
I want people to know that the circumstances of life
(01:00:04):
don't make or break them, but they reveal them. So
how you show up, how you choose that you can
really heal from anything, and you really truly can be
happy no matter what. Thank you so much for joining me.
Is such an honor to speak with you and thank
you for all of the work that you and your
husband have done. It's truly healing for so many of us,
(01:00:26):
and it's just it's an honor to get to chat
with you and share this conversation. Thank you so much.
I appreciate you. Christine. Have a great day you too, sweetheart.
That was awesome. Okay bye,
Carol, she's queen, she's getting not afraid of just cal sound.
So it's a thrill for me to have this interview
(00:30):
right now. I was telling Christine right when we started,
I feel like I must be getting in line and
doing some good cleaning out of like bad store energy
that was holding me back because I have been such
a fan of you for so long, and the fact
that you are on my podcast. I didn't actually know you.
I just knew your books and your husband's books. The
fact that you are on my podcast, I'm like, I
(00:52):
am living right, I am on track that I am
attracting someone like you into my life because you are
in credible you and your husband, your late husband, Richard.
This is Christine Carlson right here. Y'all wrote together the
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's all small Stuff
(01:14):
series of books. I mean that it's like don't Sweat
the small Stuff and like Chicken Soup for the Souls.
Those are like those books that are so ethic and
um influential in your life, like all the your books
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. My dad grew up telling
me about this all the time, Just like once y'all's
book came out, It's like, this is it, this is it,
(01:35):
this is how you do it. Y'all were still cutting edge.
I feel like the world is kind of catching up
to this way of thinking now and we're all starting
to try to get in line with like all the
tips that y'all said, like take a breath before you talk,
you know, like enjoy, love what you have, don't want
what you don't have, like all these these these techniques
(01:57):
that y'all share that are pretty simple, but it's actually
very hard to grasp because like we like to make
life so messy as humans. Y'all like knew it was
simple early on. So welcome. I'm so glad to have you. Great,
thank you so much for having me. It is such
an honor to have you, Christine truly. Um, I want
(02:19):
to just kind of get in too, before we like
get into like what you're doing now, which is you
have a lifetime movie coming out with Heather Lock. They're
starring as you. I mean, no good deal. You've been
on Oprah, You've been on the Today Show, You've been
everywhere and done it all. You're one of those people
that literally has done it all. You have seen anyone
who we have held on a pedestal who we think
(02:40):
is like incredible, like you know, oh my god, Oprah Winfrey,
she's the greatest of all times. You know her, she
knows you. She had your book by her bed, like
you're one of those people that has like you have
touched all of the parts of life, you know, like
there's nothing off limits for you, which I love. And
you're so connected to your soul. So you have such
a perspective that I cannot wait to die it into.
(03:01):
I want to talk about you and your husband Richard,
and how you guys met and how y'all became this
incredible force together. That's that sprung these books forward. Well,
we met um back in nineteen eighty fought No. One
(03:22):
UM at Pepperdine University, so we were literally college sweethearts.
I was eighteen, he was twenty, and we met one
day after Sunday brunch walking along campus and we just
it was really crazy because that one day I called
my mom on Sunday's because it was long distance, it
was long before cell phones, and called my mom on
(03:44):
Sundays and my mom asked me the question, Um, have
you met anybody interesting in school? Like moms do and
I said, yeah, and just out of my mouth, just
I said, I think I just met the man I'm
going to marry. How did you know that? You know,
it was so um, it was such a beautiful first meeting.
Richard was so grounded um in himself. I always said
(04:07):
he was like a twenty year old that was a
forty year old man in all the good ways. Like
he was so grounded and centered and there was a
comfort level when I spoke with him. It immediately I
realized that I had never been more myself with a
guy like I. I had been able to drop into
this really true place in myself where I didn't feel
(04:30):
uncomfortable at all. And and I and I just he
just checked all my boxes immediately. You know. It was
like it was everything from the way he looked, to
his smile, to the light that he had, to the
gentleness that he had, um in the enthusiasm, and just
the presence. You know, he he always was a super
(04:52):
super present guy. And I didn't really couldn't have described
those things in that way at that age, but they
were all things that I was looking for in a
in a partner and a maid. And I just didn't
think i'd ever find him in a twenty year old man.
I thought, I thought, I'm going to be one of
those women that marries much later in life. And then
there he was. He was just standing right before me,
(05:15):
and I was like, this is the man that I'm
supposed to be with, and I just knew he did too.
How did you guys get so soulful and so grounded
and so connected at the ages of eighteen and twenty
Because most people, like I'm I'm about to be forty,
and I have been a deeply soulful, empathetic person my
(05:36):
whole life, but I have been lott and all over
the blaze and like just like splatter paint for so long,
like I did not know how to like get it
all together. So the fact that you guys were so
grounded and like able to identify that you want this
soulful relationship, you want this grounded relationship, You're looking for
something bigger? How did where did that come from? You guys?
(06:00):
It's such a young eight you know. What was so
interesting about our journey was that um, we both had
this real seeker kind of um quality to us, and
Richard had UM read Wayne Dyre because he was a
college athlete. Richard was an All American tennis player. So
(06:23):
he was actually slated number one at Pepperdine when I
met him, And so he was he was an exceptional athlete,
like really played Wimbledon, I mean really an incredible tennis player.
And and so he had already read Erroneous Zones by
Wayne Dyer, and and he was exposed to Ramdass and
Stephen Levin really young from his dad. His dad had
(06:46):
a large company and would bring these people in his
guest speakers to his company. And so we were on
a seeking journey. And I think because of the timing
being kind of the New Age movement, we sort of
like we had. We started to work with a transpersonal psychologist,
and that means so transpersonal psychologist uses UM a lot
(07:12):
of spiritual practice and meditation in their in their in
their work, and they use a lot of modalities. And
so we were exposed through the spiritual um psychologist, this
transpersonal psychologist too like Ricky and breathwork to rebirth thing
to UM meditation, and we started meditating UM right away.
(07:36):
And and once we started meditating UM, that changed our world.
It just opened our entire world up. So I want
to talk to you about meditating because everyone who was
centered and grounded and soulfully connected and who lives in
this higher vibration like yourself, Meditation is a huge practice.
I meditate, but I had not gotten to the place
(07:59):
where I do it consistently. It is so important to
do it consistently, right, tell me what happens when you
consistently meditate so I can like click this in my
own head to make sure I do this because I
know it's a game changer for your life. Yeah. I mean,
let's face it, we live in a world where we
are bombarded with UM technology all the time, and it
(08:20):
doesn't really create a lot of presence to be scrolling
through on your screen all day long. You know, like
that's just not that's just not what presence is. But UM,
you can counteract on a lot by just putting your
phone away and practicing you know, twenty minutes maybe once
or twice a day if you can UM a very
(08:41):
quiet form of meditation. Now there's all different kinds of
meditation for a real active mind, guided imagery meditation is
really nice because it gives you, UM somebody to guide you.
Like on my I actually have a five part I'll
have to send it to you. A five part don't
sp what the small stuff guided um in megory meditation series, Yes,
(09:02):
you do. I do, will be getting that and using
Maybe that's how I start my meditation. Don't set the
small stuff A five step guided imagery meditation. Yeah, there's
like a lesson that don't sweat lesson, and then I
take you through a guided meditation with beautiful music. So
it's a little more active, you know, but it's still
the goal is is not. The goal in meditation is
(09:25):
not to stop thinking. It's to quiet your mind down
so that you can begin to witness your thinking. And
and this is the big difference between people who meditating
people who don't, is you start to be able to
see your thoughts as dominoes in a row versus your
mind is spinning and ruminating on things you don't even
(09:46):
know you're ruminating on, or you're worrying about something, and
you don't even you're not even aware that you're really worried,
you know. So that's why what we have all like
you said, we have all these thoughts bombarding us all
the time. And if you don't ever take the time
to realize that though that those thoughts are not in
control of us. We're just getting flooded. So we have
to like watch them float by, like honestly, like on
(10:08):
a cloud. And then we get to choose what we
dive into, what we pursue, what we turn into reality,
as opposed to just letting every thought become a reality. Yeah, absolutely,
absolutely so yeah, so I mean, and then the research
um when in the seventies, the early seventies, Maharishi came
(10:29):
over to the United States and he introduced transcendental meditation
to the Beatles, and so you know the Beatles, Um,
we're like, you know that they were like so prominent
at that time that as as rock stars, they began
to meditate. And and so Maharishi um started to do
(10:51):
a lot of scientific studies on the benefits of meditation.
And so now there's over six hundred studies to date
that talk about the benefits of like transcendental meditation, and
all transcendental meditation is is different than guided imagery, is
that through Transcendental Meditation dot org, you can go there
(11:11):
and register for a class anywhere in your area. They
teach you, like they give you this mantra and it.
It's a mantra, like a two syllable mantra that's your
own mantra, but it doesn't have any meaning, So it's
just something to attach your mind too, so that it
quiets your mind. So basically, you sit and you always
(11:35):
just gently return to this mantra that you're given. You
don't but your mind will wander and they teach you
that that that's normal. It's like a cycle that your
mind goes in. And so again, the point is not
to stop thinking. It's impossible for us to stop thinking.
But the point is to let your brain distress. And
(11:56):
that's what meditation does too. It distresses your brain and
so it calms your entire central nervous system, which then
in turn affects your health because with a calm central
nervous system, you're not producing as much cortisol, the stress
hormone that's very dangerous to your health. So you know,
cortisol is good to a certain point where it wakes
you up in the morning, gets you out of bed.
(12:18):
But when we're getting these like slams of cortisol all
day long because we're stressed out, that's never going to
be good for our health. So meditation has all sorts
of a huge range of you know, you receive mental clarity,
it's a mindfulness practice, and then it's incredibly good for
your your health. That's what I also love about your
(12:38):
books is I think so many people in the United
States especially, we feel like, oh, let's just take a pill,
let's just fix this, let's just put a band aid
on our health issues. But really health is directly affected
to our thoughts, to our brain, to what we are
feeding our mental health, and what we are obsessing and
(13:00):
what we're thinking about, and how we are reacting, and
how we are being controlled by our thoughts and everything
flooding our mind. And so take reading these books that
you guys have written and blessed the world with. They
give you this opportunity to realize that we actually have
a chance to to be in control of our thoughts.
(13:21):
And like you said, we'll never stop thinking, but we
get to choose, and we get to choose how we respond,
and we get to choose how we move in this world.
And that affects our health, which is really it's a
direct connection. Yeah, it affects everything. I mean, if you
think about it affects um your relationships, if you if
(13:42):
you can respond to something, you know, to something that
might be otherwise like a negative trigger, you know, versus
react to it. You know, you could be UM having
some healthy communication versus UM maybe a fight with somebody,
you know. So there's so many different ways that when
you practice life a certain way, it's a little bit
(14:05):
like us. For it takes a lot of practicractice to
get it right, but once to do it, and you
practice it over and over and over again the same
way you you doll of mastery. And that's what Don't
what the small Stuff series is all about, are simple
ways to practice life so that you can live better.
(14:27):
And living better means that you are UM interacting in
your relationships in a healthy way. It means that you're
more productive at work, your creativity is higher in any
kind of problem solving skills. You know. These are the
ways that our lives get better when we practice life
(14:50):
in a way that's resonates with what we value too.
And I think what's really amazing about the Don't Sweat
series is that it transcended boundaries of race, age, religion,
um all over the world. You know, it was It's
been a popular series all over the world because copies
sold worldwide, right, and I'm probably low balling it. Actually,
(15:12):
it's probably more than twenty five million at this point. Yeah,
And I mean if you think oft yeah, if you
think about that number, you know, I mean I always
get these messages from people that they got the book
in a garage sale or you know, so that number
has an exponential growth to it because the books live
on past a household. Sometimes people find them in planes,
(15:34):
you know, So you just don't even know how many
people have read even one book, and and um. But
beyond that, you know, the beautiful thing is that the
world and of itself, we all have kind of similar values,
were more like than we are different. You know. We
we have different lifestyles, of course, but we all want health,
(15:55):
we all want our families to be happy, we all
want safety and secure are the and and most people
want to know they've they've lived well, and they've lived gratefully,
and they've lived kindly. You know. These are these are
kind of human values that that people aspire to all
over the world. And so I think that's why don't
(16:16):
the Small Stuff series has continued to inspire people because
it's easy, it's simple stuff it's like write a heartfelt letter,
you know, and now we know from like Sean Acre's
research on happiness that writing a hot, heartfelt letter actually
boosts our own like good, you know, our good oxtytocin
in our own heart, and being grateful is joy in
(16:38):
the heart. We know that from heart math. You know,
so all the things that you're right that we were
current pioneers and talking about and leading people to have
the research behind them now that substantiate how wonderful these
things are for your own outlook. And believe me, it
really helps no matter what happens in your life. I
mean really, I've been through some very difficult times the
(17:01):
last fifteen years and I still feel like a very grateful, grounded,
truly happy woman. That's incredible because you have been through
some really hard times. Um the book series tell me
if I'm missing one you have Don't Sweat the small Stuff,
and it's all small stuff. Don't sweat the small stuff,
(17:22):
in love with your family, at work for men. You
have a book called Don't Worry Make Money, which I
kind of want to talk about that because I want
to know how to not worry make money and I
feel like you have it you figured it out very simply.
So I need that like I need the format here um,
and then you can be happy no matter what. So
you wrote all of these with your husband, and we
(17:44):
have for men, women and moms too, for men, women
and moms. Which honestly, if you want to give a
great gift to someone, you should just someone should just
give the set because it's like, here you go. Here
is how to live your life and actually enjoy it
and thrive and feel connected. And I feel like you
are a blessing to this world and you can bless
(18:06):
the world because like you said, it is simple. It
is you provide steps that everyone can can grasp no
matter where you are in the world, in your life,
in your situation. It's things that we can take ownership
up and have control over. So you wrote these with
your husband. And then first off, how did the inspiration
(18:28):
come to you? Guys? To begin with? So, y'all are
you meet in college? You have this connection. You are
both super ground. It's super soulful. It's like instant you
both know it. So here you guys go, You've connected
and now you are this ultimate power couple, soulful powerful couple.
How did you guys get this idea to be like, oh,
we're gonna write this book and we have this amazing
(18:49):
title and idea. Well, it doesn't happen that easily. I
mean that sounds really nice. I just tried to wrap
it up in a boat for you, Christine. Yeah. Yes.
So it took about ten years and ten books for
Richard and uh and and you know, building um his degrees,
so he got a master's and PhD and psychology probably
(19:12):
faster than any human could um. Once he discovered that
he really wanted to write, he was like, I need
to get a master's and PhD. Which I thought was
super smart, which I had done it with him. Was
that kind of guy he was like, once he got interested,
he just was it was he was focused. Oh yeah,
that athletic prowess and a nature in him and discipline
(19:36):
that he had was really incredible to watch how that
transferred over into you know, his life and and how
he built this empire of this brand, you know, by
just the discipline of of doing things over and over.
It took ten years, so he wrote ten books prior
to Dunce with the small stuff. And and quite interestingly,
(19:58):
this is when your age it um, your agent really
earns um. Sorry, I think Mike there this is when
your agent really earns their commission. Um. But stuff was
supposed to be called a gentler kinder you, she said
(20:21):
the first chapter. No, and she she pulled the first chapter.
It was just about the small stuff because he tells
a story about Wayne Dyer and how Wayne Dyer had
given him this um quote for one of his books,
you Can Be Happy No Matter What, on the Swedish
version version, and the Swedish publisher had taken that quote
(20:44):
and put it on his next book, as if Wayne
had put that quote on his next book. And Richard
was just so upset. So he writes Wayne a letter
and he says, hey, my publisher did this. I just
want you to know I had nothing to do with it.
If you want me to, I'll pull all the books
off the shelves because I just don't have the small stuff.
And it's also small stuff was well know. So so
(21:06):
it wasn't the quote without the small stuff. He just
gave him an endorsement quote and they put it on
a different book than the book he endorsed. And so
Wayne Dyer writes Richard this letter and says Richard, there's
two rules in life. Don't sweat the small stuff one
and number two, it's all small stuff. Leave the quote
stand as is, and so don't worry about it, basically,
(21:30):
And so then that was. Then then the agent, Patty Brightman,
she comes along and she says, Richard, that's the title
of your book. Don't slip the small stuff, don't you
know that's the title of your book. And so um, really, honestly,
like that changed the entire everything. And you know, like
I said, that's when your agent earns her commission forever.
(21:55):
And she earned it, you know, and she earned it,
and boy, she made she's made million of dollars too.
So everybody. Isn't it great when it's a win win
for everyone? Absolutely? Yeah, you're you When you have an agent,
it's a bit like a lung. It's actually the longest
marriage of your life because it goes it goes past
your death and past their death, you know what I mean,
(22:15):
Like it goes on and on and on. So well,
in that title, you're right, it is. It's so it's
so catching, like it sucks you right in and it
makes you realize, okay, okay, it makes you realize that
there's that this is a guide for life that I
need to read. So how did you guys collect these chapters?
And you said all these chapters are based off of
(22:37):
your own personal life, So obviously y'all are your case steady?
You guys? Are you guys are practicing this on yourselves?
How did you start this process? Did you how did
you gather these insights? What was your process? You know?
It really kind of happened over our morning coffee. Honestly,
the first book, I hadn't even read it until I
(23:00):
was on my way to Italy on a flight, and
and um, and it was printed and I and I
think Richard wrote three books that year. He wrote UM,
Don't Spit the Small Stuff Slow Slowing down to the
Speed of Life with Joe Bailey, and then he wrote
Don't Worry to Make Money, all in the same year.
And they didn't get published, all in the same year.
(23:20):
They staggered him, but he wrote them in that year.
And I sat on the plane and I read this
Don't with the Small Stuff you know in in in
its pre proof form, and I was just like I
was devouring it. And it was that bite sized chapter
that worked so well. And when I got to Italy,
I called him up and I said, oh my god,
(23:41):
hon you this is amazing. You have nailed it. This
is different than all your other work. This is so
this is so cool. And and then from the time
that book which we came out when I was in Italy, um,
it just flew it like flew off the shelves. It
was like they not print that book fast enough. It
(24:02):
was crazy. But I just want to share this crazy
story that I think you'll really love. I was just
gonna say, do you think that so prior to Sorry,
I'm my connections a little behind you, so I'm asking
you questions whatever, But do you feel like that was
because he was so divinely connected that it flew off
the shelves because this message was so divine. And then
(24:24):
I want to hear your story. Sorry, I I do
you know Richard was very divinely connected as m I.
I mean we we really did have a very deep
spiritual practice um and and always felt like our work
has come through us as instruments. You know. It's like
we always had this prayer and it's divine love, divine
(24:47):
love playing me as an instrument of your finally tuned
orchestra of life. And that's been our prayer from early on.
Divine Love, we say it again, Yes, Divine Love, play
me as an instrument in your finally tuned orchestra of life.
(25:11):
And that's how we would end our meditation every day.
And I still do. I'm receiving that right now. That
was amazing. I'm gonna I'm gonna print that out and
use that. That's incredible because that's what it is. That
is what life is. Okay, tell us a story. So
UM about UM. Seven years into Richard's writing career, he
(25:32):
had written a book called Shortcut through Therapy UM, and
he was UM expecting to get a much larger advance
like for for that book. UM. At the time, he
was still he was running a happiness training program, like
he called it, because he he didn't really believe in
traditional psychology. So he was teaching people how to be happy.
(25:56):
And this is before coaching, before the word coaching ever happened.
You know. In fact, a lot of coaches used had
had used don't swip the small stuff in their coaching practice,
we found out later. But but he had this day
and he was thinking about quitting writing because he didn't
make enough money. And we had two small kids, and
we were sitting at a cafe and he said, I
(26:17):
don't I and I noticed he was very low for him,
like he never really was that low, and he was low.
And I said, what's going on? And he said, I
think I might have to go get a real job,
like I think I might have to get a job
in human resources or something, because I don't feel like
I'm pulling in the kind of money that we need
to live in California and to not go into debt.
I'm getting uncomfortable with our dad and and and I
(26:39):
was like, no, no, you can't do that. You can't
do that. You know you love to write, You love
to write. And and so we went home that night.
We had a babysitter. Babysit left and the phone rang,
and I picked up the phone, and on the phone
there was this woman and she says, HI, this is
Alice from the Oprah Winfree Show. She said, I had
(27:01):
the strangest experience about twenty minutes ago. Your husband's book
You Can Be Happy No Matter What, popped off the
back shelf and hit me in the back of the head.
While I was looking for a don't like a stress
management book and it and it literally popped off the
back shelf and hit her in the back of the head.
She said, do you think your husband could be on
(27:22):
a plane tomorrow to the Oprah Winfrey Show. And that
was his very first invite to open and it happens.
It happened twenty minutes after he said he was going
to quit writing. And I tell that story because I
want people to know that every person who is tremendously
successful in this world almost quit right before they became successful.
(27:47):
And a lot of people, a lot of people do
quit just before they're about to hit it. So the
next time you're doing something and you feel like you
you're hitting your head against the wall and you've done
it the same way ten times and it doesn't seem
to be working, hanging there a little bit longer because
you could just be right right next to your breakthrough.
(28:08):
And that's what happened for him. That appearance on Oprah
broke open his world as an author. And it wasn't
as if that book became a huge bestseller, but he
became the next it guy in the in the world's
view like of oh, we need to watch this guy.
This guy is an up and comer, and she she
(28:29):
loved him, and so yeah, it's such a great story.
We had so many stories like that, and we have time.
At the end, I'll tell you another really powerful story.
I want, I want, I want to get Well, that's kissman,
and that's that's that's kissman, and that is That is
what happens when you live a tune to the divine
(28:52):
and you have miracles happen all the time when you're
tuned into the divine and you're serving the divine. Um
you know, this is, this is how and it's kind
of a funny thing. But people all often ask me
how come all that stuff always happens to you? And
I said, well, first of all, I noticed it, But
(29:12):
second of all, it's my intention to live as close
to the Divine as that possibly can, you know. And
it doesn't mean I don't live in the world. I do.
I mean I live in the world, you know. But
I bring the Divine into my daily practice and into
my world, and I try to live that way and
everything I do with integrity and attention and and uh
(29:35):
an open heart and a pure heart. It doesn't always happen.
I have my conflicts, and I have my my stuff,
you know, I do, but I do my best. I'm
always trying to live at the highest level I can.
What is your mantra and what is your intention? When
you if you're going to sum it up, because it's
(29:57):
so much like if I was going to break it
down from all your books and all of your speaking
and all of your everything that you've shared with the world.
But what is it that you yourself, the source says
and goes to for your mantra to get centered, to
stay in that divine And how do you feel it?
How do you know it when you're in the divine? Well,
(30:17):
I have I have several mantras, but mine is really
to live very presently, you know that. I think that's
another piece of you know, when you live super presently,
then you live in the flow. And being in the flow, um,
it absolutely requires you to live as presently as possible. Um.
(30:38):
And that just means that your show up every moment.
You know, you show up as yourself with that pure
heart and that pure intention. And like you said earlier,
you know that it sounds very simple to do, but
it's actually quite a lifetime choice and practice. It's not
as if you decide one time to become a present person.
(30:59):
You have to a site every moment to be a
present person, and that means sometimes it's uncomfortable, and sometimes
you might listen to somebody you know who's talking that
you don't really want to listen to. But then if
you look for that person's light in their eyes and
you attune to the feeling that they have and what
they're yearning for, which may be just to be heard,
(31:21):
then that allows me, you know, to be more present
with that person. I'm always like doing my best to
land in the present moment and present moment living is
one of our greatest teachings and all of our books,
and we talk a lot about that, and it's a
principle of happiness, it's a principle of living well. Um,
(31:42):
people who are not present are incredibly distracted. And when
you're incredibly distracted, you miss the beautiful nuances of life
that bring those miracles to you. And everyone, no matter what,
have the ability to be present and experience or cool?
Is that true? Absolutely everyone? What if someone feels like
(32:05):
they're just has everything stacked against them, gains them from
a bad upbringing, abuse, financially not blessed, like all sorts
of like everything stacked against them. How do they start
moving into finding this connection, this divine connection and this flow?
Like what if you are born into a life that
(32:27):
is just like not what you want? How do you
get into the flow of what you feel you were
made to live? Well? I mean that's that is a
very very difficult situation because you know, oftentimes life itself
doesn't encourage UM the right mindset, you know, for people
(32:50):
to UM to move toward gratitude, for example. But I
would say to somebody like that, you know, the best
hope that you have is to find peace in your
inner world when your outer world is chaotic and not
moving in the direction that you like. And the bay
we do that is we do ground ourselves in the
(33:10):
things that we are grateful for. UM. I just have
this friend who's been dealing with UM a lot of
stress and a lot of like it's called like neuroplasticity pain,
and it's it's it basically means that the brain is
decided to create this pattern of pain, but it's not
really real. It's just that the brain has decided to
(33:32):
do that, found this place to do that in your
body because you're too stressed out, so it's it's almost
like a danger pain, like you always feel like you're
in danger or something. And one of the practices that
I encouraged him to do was, I said, it doesn't
matter how small a thing, but you must wake up
and think of what you're grateful for every single day.
(33:53):
And it doesn't matter if it's just being grateful for
the breath that you're able to take, or grateful or
anything running water. You know, it's really interesting is that,
you know, if it goes back to Victor Frankel and
Man's search for meaning. You know, I don't know if
you've read that book, but it's very profound, and and
(34:16):
he has that circumstance, he has the most horrific circumstances
of life, the most horrific, and and yet he finds
that optimism in his heart and creates this inner world
that's quite beautiful and utopian and peaceful. And that's that's
(34:37):
the only hope we have, is that our inner world
um is the world that we live in, and the
outer world is illusion anyways. And it's a very deep
spiritual concept to to think of it that way. But
when you really that the world is held together material
objects are held together by adams and light, and that's
(34:59):
it that it's not it's not a stable world when
you when we you know, we're not even our bodies
aren't even stable, which is why sometimes we die suddenly
and we leave our body behind. Because it's not a
stable world. And yet we've been tricked into believing and
thinking that the real world is what we see in touch.
(35:20):
The real world is really the inner world, and that's
the world of the soul. The topic of dying said
that suddenly this happened to you in your life with
your husband. You're on this journey with Richard. You didn't
it Obviously, you guys are meant to be. You have
this soul connection. Now you've aligned, you've started a family,
(35:43):
you've started this brand and this empire. But it's to
help elevate and heal and share this wisdom. And it's
all about getting stressed out of your life. It's all
about enjoying your life. And your husband died suddenly on
an airplane, right, is that correct? Yes, yes, he um
(36:05):
had a puldinary, a pulmonary embolism on the dissent that
like you, it's hard to know how these things happen
and you don't you know, you don't understand why. Um,
you know, he had some back pain, He had some
back issues, some pretty serious backage issues from his tennis days.
(36:26):
So that led to this deep veined thrombosis that he
was experiencing that we didn't know anything about. It was
only forty five. I was forty three. Um, we've been
together twenty five years at that point, and um yeah,
and I mean, you know, it's just it was like
it's a it was a very sudden loss, like super sudden.
(36:48):
You know. It's like one day you're in you you're
at the peak of your lives together. In the very
next moment he was, he was gone. And so but again,
like my philosophy, it wasn't as if it didn't it
help me, like not grieve. I grieved, of course, so
deeply and profoundly for about ten years. So it was
(37:10):
like a long you know. But but my philosophy is
about it too. And that's what your lifetime movie is
about as well. It is like your grief journals, your
heart broken open has not been turned into a lifetime movie,
right you the story of you, yes, yes, and yes
yes and and um yeah and so you know when
(37:32):
you say, like those ring accidents, I really believe that
in the sense of that Richards and my soul contract
was that we are both teachers in the sense and
we both have a different level of mastery. And his
was fulfilled. His his mastery was fulfilled at a young age,
(37:54):
and he really did pack a lot of life into
his forty five years. And and my sole journey as
his widow and his wife, was to continue on the
legacy and to find that teacher within me and to
um to watch myself heal. You know, I was really
set up in a lot of ways to um be
(38:16):
able to see myself heal and then be able to
translate that and transmit that um to other people and
through my work and through my books and through my
writings and and now even help people write books. Today.
I have a book do list program and I'm starting
a publishing company. And it's kind of crazy, you know
that the way life just twists and turns and takes
(38:38):
you in all these different directions. And you know, I
had such a full, incredible journey, And of course I
miss Richard every day, and um it's been fifteen years now,
but but life has returned to this incredible richness and
incredible fullness, and I am just filled with so much
joy um and having been loved by him and loving
(39:01):
him and having healed. And it's interesting because I feel
like I've been watching a lot of videos about spiritual
awakenings and stuff, because I feel like I've always been
on a spiritual awakening, but like, especially right now, I
don't know if there's something in particular going on with
the universe or if it's just going on within myself,
(39:22):
but I just feel very much like I am in
a big spiritual awakening right now. And people think, like, oh,
spiritual awakenings are just easy and it's awesome, and just
like peace signs up floating around on the field of flowers,
it is awful. Spiritual awakenings are awful, Like they make
you go through the depths of your soul, your pain,
(39:45):
your trauma, your deepest, darkest insecurities, everything that has been
preconditioned in you based on the life that you were
born into, and you have to examine it all and
look at it and try to understand what the teacher
is and the message is, and so for you, after
saying this, this is how I was feeling about you
(40:06):
and you're saying it. It's like you had this journey
with your husband. He completed his sole contract. He he
he achieved his sole purpose. He got in tune with it,
achieved it with like you said, was focused, like the
studied became Uh, you've got it all done. Like when
he wanted to do it, he did it. And now
you you're a part of your message is you have
(40:28):
You are teaching others how to heal through grief like
you had. You set yourself up with these books like
y'all are the ones who are teaching you. You wrote
a book you can be happy no matter what. Well,
I bet at one point you wanted to be like, well,
that's a bunch of bullshit, you know, but not really
because I mean, you believe it. But it's like you
now are being tested to the max. Here. You are
(40:49):
the one who wrote the books on how to find
joy and contentment and happiness and de simple and simplify
and take the stress out of your life and find
this joy no matter what. You are now being tested
to the rim of what you can handle as far
as grief as what a human can handle. And you
(41:10):
are that's your that's now part of your mission to
live through this, to heal and to share. And it's
like that's a tall order. That's a tall order. Yeah
it was. It was pretty messed up in some of
a lot of ways. Yeah, because it's like you wrote
part of the plan, you believe in these books, but
(41:30):
these are true. This is all true to you. But
now like you're having to actually like walk it on
a level that you could have never imagined. Oh yeah,
it's so true. And believing that did not go unnoticed
by me. I was like universe, energy, god, soul, what
all of that stuff is like Yeah, I mean I
(41:52):
don't even want to say how I really felt about it.
It's too crude, but I mean it makes sense. And
it's also like here you are doing all this work,
saying so connected to your soul, giving your life to
the flow and really locking into it, and it's like,
why do you have to be hit so hard because
you're so connected? And it's like, oh, because you can
(42:12):
handle it. But it's like that's not there, no, But
you know, on some level, I mean I think the
deeper the experience, the deeper the awakening, you know, And honestly,
like Richard's Richard is so with me today. You know,
his energy and his spirit is just so with me
and with our grandkids, and I you know, I had
(42:37):
to really learn how to transcend um the body and
how to find him where he was. You know, how
did you do that? Well? I mean I think, like again,
I was pretty set up for it with all the
work I've done, the personal growth work, the spiritual you know,
the spiritual knowingness that I had, and I just that sometimes, um,
(43:01):
when somebody very close to you dies, it just blows
you wide open, and it blew me wide open. And
it literally just blew my crown chakra and just my
whole body just just blew open. So I, UM, what happened?
It blew open? What did that feel like? I felt
(43:23):
like Richard was trying to show me where he was,
and it's in your body, just in my whole psyche,
you know, Like I I just felt like I was
having all these just spiritual experiences where he would show
me the outer edges of the universe. It was crazy.
I mean, like, how do what does that mean? The
outer edges of the universe. It's probably too hard to explain,
but can you try? In every word? Yeah, it's like
(43:46):
the like, there's this this darkness that's just like they
call it, you know, the abyss, but it's just so
beautiful and just so serene and full of creativity and
harmony and love of and I don't know, I just
I felt like he was taking me to these places
in my own soul and my own meditation with him.
(44:09):
Was it three meditation? No, it just it would be
like in the middle of the night, I feel like
he'd beholding me and then he'd be like talking to me,
like look where I'm going. I mean, people probably thinking, oh,
she's crazy, Like I'm all, but this is, this is
This didn't happen forever, but it happened during this time,
and then I had all these crazy experiences, like these
(44:30):
miracles happened. I want to share this one story because
it was powerful. So I was flying back with my
daughters from my parents fiftieth winning anniversary and this was
two years after Richard died, and I was on a
little commuter jet flying from Eugene, Oregon to San Francisco
(44:52):
and my daughters and I walk up to the ticket
agent and he says, hey, you know, you guys aren't
seated together. Do you want me to rearrange your seats
so that you can be seated together. And I said, oh, no,
it's a short flight. We don't care. They were teenagers,
you know, they didn't care. And he did it anyways,
which is really important part of the story. He took
it upon himself to rearrange our seats and then told me,
(45:16):
I've got you guys together. I really wanted you guys
to sit together. And says, oh great. So we go
and sit down on our plane and the girls are
in the um window and aisle next to me, and
the next window is open, and this man walks up
and you know, it's one of those small planes who
was kind of crouched over, and I have to get
up and let him in. But when he's standing there,
(45:38):
I get this weird chill like a children up and
down my spine and I'm like, oh, like wake up,
Like it was like that that wake up? What's happening here?
Wake up? And um and I I have to sit
down and have to really strong feeling that I am
supposed to talk him, and so I start to kind
(46:01):
of um make a conversation with him, but then he
pulls his laptop out and he clearly has to work.
So I quiet down, Well, it's only a fifty minute flight,
And the whole time I'm like, oh my god, I'm
supposed to talk to this guy. And then on the
descent of the flight he puts his laptop away. So
then I started to talk to him and I'm like,
is this the work day for you? And he goes, oh, yeah,
I'm really sorry. I would have loved to have chatted.
(46:23):
You know. We talked a little bit about why he
was there, why I was there, and and then I
and then he said, what about you. I know you
have your laptop. Is it a work day for you?
And I said, oh, no, you know, um, not really.
I mean every day is technically a workday. I'm a writer.
And he goes, oh, have you been published? And I said, yeah.
You know, you might be most familiar with my late
husband's work, Dr Richard Carlson. He wrote Jumps with the
(46:43):
Small Stuff. And the guy sat there and he just
he sat up and he got this really weird look
on his face, like and I go and he takes
a deep breath and he's not looking at me, and
I go, what did you know him? And he goes, no,
I didn't. I didn't know him. And then he's just
like he's quiet, you know, but he's he doesn't he's
(47:06):
just like wow, like he's just in shock. And I
said what, And he goes, did he die in a
flight to JFK a little over two years ago? And
I said, yeah, how did you know? How? How did
you know that? Like nobody knew it was he was
flying to JFK. Go how did you know that? And
he said, because I was seated directly behind him on
(47:28):
that flight. I was the first to help the crew
assist in lifting his body out of his seat. I
have full body chills. Yeah. Yeah. And what he didn't
know is that my prayer was I wanted to talk
to somebody who had been there with Richard when he died,
because I wasn't there, And it was such a pivot
(47:51):
turn in my own healing to speak to this man.
And then he looked at me and he said, I
always wanted to tell you he died very peacefully. So
not only was it like something that he was longing
to tell me, but I needed to hear that, and
I needed to know who was there who saw him,
because I never saw him again, you know, I never
(48:12):
got to see him again. You never got to see
his body again, No, huh, Now, because he we donated
his organs and he was in New York and they
cremated him after they donate after we donated his organs,
because he had a donor sticker on his card, and
so yeah, he saved eleven people's lives with his somebody
(48:33):
got his eyes. I was always so jealous. I'm like,
I want Richard Carlson's Have you met any of the
people who have his organs? Have? I have never met them? Um,
but I just I just think you will. I bet
they will cross your path one day. Yeah, you never know.
But isn't that that beautiful, such a beautiful your soul
because you had longed so deeply to meet someone who
(48:57):
was there and clearly this may and was longing for you.
Do people always say that, like it's inevitable that you
will meet when those energies are so intense in a line,
Do you feel like you were destined to meet him
because of the depth of the longing you had for
it and the depth of connection that we had through Richard?
You know, like that that imprint, that imprint was on him,
(49:20):
Like I felt it from the moment he stood in
front of me. But on him, Yes, he was connected
to Richard so deeply because to witness someone die and
to be there, that's he was. He's obviously a soul,
like you said, a soul agreement. His soul had made
some sort of agreement with Richard and you like y'all
are all in the soul agreement totally. And then the
(49:42):
guy who rearranged our seats at the ticket agent, he
was part of it because he felt that strong. He
was feeling that strong message to rearrange our seats. We
never would have sat next to that guy if he
hadn't done that. I gotta take this in for just
a second. I need to take it in because I
(50:04):
have I have like a few questions I want to
ask you from this, But I don't want to just
quickly ask you questions. I want to be intentional about
this because this, to me is such a huge part
of what where I am trying to get with my
life and what I'm trying to do with my life
is to also share this message, which is, like you
are speaking so loudly, we are divinely a part of
(50:29):
this symphony of this orchestra, all of us, all humans,
all life, everything on this earth. Why we are here.
We are meant to interact with souls and to heal
into find purpose within ourselves and share that it is.
But it is like, so life is so much bigger
(50:50):
than just this day to day grind that so many
of us get lost in. And if you can tune
into these frequencies, like you said, miracles can happen, but
you have to be a wake and in tune to
them to even know they're happening. Because it is like,
that is magical. That is a miracle, but it was
destined to happen because of all the intention that you
(51:12):
had in your soul and this man and Richard and
the fight intended like everyone, instead of just passing it off,
everyone listened and that's the key. Everyone listened to the
message that they felt in their soul and didn't just
brush it off. Yeah, it was. It was quite incredible.
It was definitely one of the most incredible experiences of
(51:32):
my life for sure. Did that start your healing process? No,
I think that kind of end that started to end
my I mean I it was only two years, but
I started to really heal. I mean I was healing,
but that really helped me move to the next level
and my healing um definitely. And I just felt so
(51:53):
I felt in grace, you know. I felt like I
had surrendered my to my grief. I had gone through
this total grieving process, and I felt so held and loved.
And I think that was the part that really surprised me,
as even like when I'd be grieving on my own
or Alane in my bedroom, I felt this total grace,
(52:17):
like a warm hug around me all the time, and
and I just these kinds of experiences. I felt like
Richard was very present, you know, and he was holding me.
So it helped me, helped me live. And this is
why I like to share these things with people. That
it's hard because some people don't they don't feel the
(52:38):
presence of their loved ones, and that's very hard. They
wonder why. But I think there's just this different layer
that you have to get to within your belief system
and and your own connection to the divine and your
own connection and practicing that connection. You know that that
the deeper your practice, the more awake you are. And
(53:00):
like you said, the listening is really key that we
have to listen to those nuances and that comes from
living incredibly presently. So now your goal in life is
to help entrepreneurs rise from the ashes to meet their destiny.
How do you do that? Absolutely? And some rays in
(53:24):
so many ways, like um, you know, I feel like
full is to re discover and to discover their greatest
dream for their life. You know, um that when they
you know, there's a lot of different ways we do that,
but usually it happens after a deep crisis. People um
(53:45):
have to reawaken and reinvent themselves and discover what their
new dream for their lives their life is. And and
then along with that, you know, with my partner Deborah
Evans Um with our book group, it's just been very
powerful to help people also bring their great work out
into the world through their writing. So it's it's been
a wonderful. I just feel like my journey just keeps
(54:06):
getting better and better. It's it's just been I love working,
so I love career. I love helping people and serving
and so it's it's all been amazing. It's just sad
my soul. And then I love being a grandma too,
So those two things, and you know, are really the
height height of my experience. Right now, I'm gonna wrap
(54:29):
up because I know you have a very busy day,
and I do not want to take all your time.
I have loved all of this so much. I want
to ask you, though, how do you help people find
their dream? Because I feel like also that is something
that I am very very passionate about. Is I feel
like we all have a purpose and we all have
a dream because I feel like that's ultimately the only
reason why we're here. I can't make make much more
(54:51):
sense of it other than we're trying to like be
here to manifest something in a physical form and experience
it with others. Do you feel that you feel like
that's why we're here? I do. I think. I think
we all came to the earth to do something pretty
profound and share our gifts with the world. And and
(55:12):
we all have gifts, you know, everyone has them. And
I think a lot of times, um, we have to
uncover what we value most to get to those gifts. Um.
Sometimes we live a life that we just end up living,
you know, and we find ourselves, you know, ten years
down the road, UM, in a career that doesn't really
(55:34):
nourish our soul. And maybe even a marriage that doesn't
even nourish your soul because the reason you chose it
at the time that you did, maybe you're young, you
chose for different reasons. You're a different person now. So
I feel like um, as people, we go through these cycles,
maybe every seven to ten years, where we need to
reevaluate who we are and what we value. And I
(55:57):
think when you tune into what you value, then you
can start to ask yourself based on what you value,
how can I serve? The highest question that we can
ask is how can I serve? And when you get
to that point, that's where the you're diving deep for
the pearl, that's where the world is wide open for
you to discover why you came to this earth is
(56:21):
answering that question how can I serve? So how can
people get involved with these courses that you teach? How
can people get all up in your space and your
grill and like and tell you something so funny and
not funny but like it's literally telling Ali my amazing
intern right here. That was before we started. I have
(56:42):
just all these incredible authors who have admired so much.
I've been coming into my life like yourself, like It's
just such a huge honor to me to get to
speak with you. I have always felt like I want
to write a book, but I do not have the
inspiration yet for it. I have written a book, but
it's not the right book. I have a file on
my email that's titled book. I have met with publishers
(57:05):
in Nashville like talking about a book, Like, I know
there is a book in in me, but I just
it's not ready yet. And so I love that you
have like a doula program, and like, how do you
apply for this, because I feel like I would love
to learn about, like how do you unearthed this thing
that you know you have in you somewhere? Well, our
(57:28):
program is on book doulas dot com and UM, yeah,
and you should. You should go check it out. We
actually start a new book incubator today that is really
designed UM for people to unearthed that great book that's
in them. Also, you know, you've done such a great
job of building a platform. But that's such a huge
(57:49):
piece in the publishing world today too. Is is honoring
um the idea that you need to build relationships with
people and build your own platforms. So we try to
teach that in a way that's very authentic to people
and and demystify some of the things about social media
that people really don't like. UM. So yeah, that's you
(58:10):
go there to book Doulas dot com and you can
check out our programs, um are big program is called
the book Incubator and um. From there, we have a
program called Momentum and um yeah we do private coaching too.
So it's super fun. I feel like for many years
I was Richard's News. Yes, yeah, it's so fun. It's
(58:33):
just such a joy. It really is such a joy.
And then I do a lot of women's retreats. UM
off my Christine Carlson dot com site. Um, you can
go and check out my women's retreats, which I absolutely love.
And then at Don't Sweat dot com. You may not
have seen that, but there's happiness training courses on don't
dot com. Um that I've been putting together the last
(58:56):
few years. So there's a little bit of everything everywhere.
And I'm just constantly trying to you know, um, add
more you know, add more content to the sites and
so forth. Um. It's an ongoing and ongoing UM endeavor. Amazing. Okay,
so let me just make sure I got the sites.
It's Christine Carlson dot com, Don't Sweat dot com, YEP book,
(59:19):
do Lah's b o Okay, d o U l a
s dot com. A doula is a birthing somebody who
helps so a woman get birth, but so we help
people birth their books. So okay, I'm about to get
all up in your girl. I hope I haven't driven
you too crazy that you're like, please never come back
around me. You're such a superfan and like you talked
to you fast and too much. I know loved this.
(59:44):
You're amazing and so much work you do. Thank you
for everything. And I always wrap with one question, which
is leave your light. And it's very open ended. What
do you want people to know? Oh my gosh, um m.
I want people to know that the circumstances of life
(01:00:04):
don't make or break them, but they reveal them. So
how you show up, how you choose that you can
really heal from anything, and you really truly can be
happy no matter what. Thank you so much for joining me.
Is such an honor to speak with you and thank
you for all of the work that you and your
husband have done. It's truly healing for so many of us,
(01:00:26):
and it's just it's an honor to get to chat
with you and share this conversation. Thank you so much.
I appreciate you. Christine. Have a great day you too, sweetheart.
That was awesome. Okay bye,
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