Lauren Akins: life + love with Thomas Rhett since first grade, secret to marriage & why their marriage isn’t perfect, balancing Africa & red carpets, embracing her platform to help children and families, navigating 2 kids under 3 yrs old!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carola, She's a queen, not afraid, just no one, Caral
sound care Hey you guys, this episode of Care podcast

(00:30):
is so amazing. I have Lauren aitkins on. She's the
wife of Thomas Rhett. I don't even know where to
start with all of the incredible journey that she shares
with me. From meeting Thomas Rhett when they were five
in kindergarten, to briefly dating when they were in middle school,
breaking up, dating other people, falling back in love, him
professing his love to her, saying he had been in

(00:52):
love with her for years, then them getting married, life
on the road, her getting her own fan base and celebrity,
huge fan base and celebrity based off of his songs,
him making her such a crucial part of his music
and career. Then adopting Willow Gray from Africa, that whole process,

(01:12):
how much her heart is called to Africa and the
orphans and changing the world and changing lives of children
and keeping families together. How she's learned to embrace her
platform that she naturally isn't comfortable with, but she's learned
to embrace it because she has such a message. She
has such a message that she wants to share with

(01:33):
the world, to how they make their marriage work, why
they love therapy, how Thomas rhet knew instantly that he
was going to adopt Willow Gray with her it is
the most incredible episode. So y'all get excited for Lauren
Aikins and her journey. It's so beautiful. Here she is, hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,

(01:55):
I'm here with Lauren Atkins. Aikins Akin make everybody says different.
There's no D no, no D no T. So what
do people call you? What are the names that you
get mixed up? Money? Oh, they're good, They're really good.
So I didn't think about this when I was creating
my Instagram. It's like all the time. I mean, like

(02:17):
people who have grown up with me, my husband, our family,
they call me Lar. And so when I was creating
a name, I think, I guess Lauren or I don't know.
I don't know why I picked Laar, but I was
just like, I want to do Laar. And then with
my last name Aikins, it looked like Laura. If you

(02:39):
were to put it was at the underscore. So I
put the underscore in between, so it's law underscore Aikins.
But people still see it and somehow they still think
Money was Laura. And then they don't realize that Thomas
Strutt's last name is Aikins because he's got that double
name double names. You're Savin, that's right, So they think

(03:03):
that our last name is Rhett. So a lot of
times people go, I'm like, oh gosh, this is just
not good. Um. And then our girls have kind of
hard names too, because Willa there aren't a ton of Willas,
but Willo, people always think her name is Willow. And

(03:25):
then Gray isn't a super common name, but my brother's
name is Grayson, so that's how kind of how he
came up with the gray. But people think it's Grace,
so she gets called Willow Grace. And then Ada also
not a common name, and James is a boy name,
and so they think that she is Ava Jane. So

(03:47):
y'all just want to y'all just like to keep it interesting. Okay,
next babe, we're gonna go with the most generic easy,
so I don't we will see, but yeah, we've got
we've got trouble with our names. But you're just Lauren.
There there's no double name for you know, no double name. Okay, Okay,

(04:09):
so your story is kind of amazing. You're one of
the few like unicorns of the city because you're from Nashville.
That's right. What is it like being an actual Nationville
native because so many people are transplants. Yeah, and Thomas
is a native to right. Well, he moved here when
he was like a toddler, a little bitty basically. Yeah,
so this is all he remembers. But because he lived

(04:30):
here because his dad and his dad rhet aikins. Oh,
he's saying, that's not a house and that's my right,
that's Keith. Yeah it no, that's ain't my truck. That
ain't match. Okay. I wasn't going to sing for you,
but I promise you don't want to hear it, so
I was gonna let you take that one. I love.
He was one of my nineties countries, nintes countries, the best.

(04:54):
But he still is good. He's songwriter of the year,
you know. I mean, he's just done that a few
times and been I don't know, he's got like twenty
non number ones or something. Crazy as a songwriter, he's gosh,
he's insane and how cool though, now that Thomas has
grown up and become a singer, and successful and now

(05:14):
they get to write together together have that? Has that
been really sweet? It's so sweet. It's really cool to
watch them bond over something that I just can't even
relate to. So they have a relationship. I mean, I'm
sure there are lots of dads and sons they get
to work together, but there's something about the music industry

(05:36):
that is just magic too. And then seeing them do
that together is is really cool. And he's actually on
tour with Thomas Rtt this year. He's opening for him. So, um,
what's their dynamic together? I mean, they're just they're like
the ultimate father son duo. I mean when they get
on stage together, they just play off of each other

(05:57):
and they're both like such natural entertainers and they're brilliant
and they're writing and how they talk with the crowd
and it's really it's really cool to watch. But, um,
this year will be interesting with them on the road
with us. I mean they live right around the corner
from us, so like we do life together off the road,

(06:18):
but we've never done life together on the road. He's
come out, I mean he'll come out for a couple
of weekends here and there, but I mean we're about
to be living together. What do you think it's going
to be on the road. I mean, I'm sure it
will just be like a dream come true for both
of them. I mean, can you imagine like somebody that

(06:38):
you already love but then getting to like do the
thing you love with them for a whole tour that, yeah,
it'll be awesome. So okay, so Thomas moved here, and
who's three because his dad was obviously a country singer
and doing that. So then did you guys meet in kindergarten?

(06:59):
Is that what is? Well? I heard so he didn't
go to my school in kindergarten, but he came in
first grade. Was it love and first grade? No? Actually,
we didn't even really hang out with each other until
I mean, you don't really hang out anyways in elementary,
but we became really close in middle school. We knew

(07:20):
each other was our school wasn't very big, but um, yeah,
we got to be really really close. Was he like
a boyfriend? No? No, no, no, definitely not in middle school.
We were just like really really close. Um, but then
when we were fifteen, we did date sophomores in high

(07:41):
school and didn't you ever breakup or was that was
that the start and lots of breakups? Okay, so what
how did the road go? So we I think I
had a tendency to date people that I was really
close with as a friend. First. That's kind of how
most of the boyfriends I've ever had. That's how it went. Um,

(08:07):
just because if we can't laugh and have fun together,
then there's no point us hanging out. And so, um, yeah,
we were just really really close. And then as we
got older and you know, our friends started driving, and um,
we were doing a lot outside of home, outside of school,

(08:27):
a lot of hanging out. And one of our girlfriends, Raleigh,
I remember after school one day she was like, you know, what,
what if you and Thomas Rhett dated? And I was
like why and she was like, I don't know. I
just think y'all get along so well and he's so
cute and like, I bet he likes you. And I

(08:48):
was like, what are you talking about. I don't even
remember how it started, but we did, so I don't know.
She talked to me into it and I was like,
all right, yeah, maybe maybe we should try it out.
So we dated off and on for like I don't know,
six months to a year, which I feel like it's
kind of long for a sophomore year. Yeah, dating, Yeah,
how did it go the first round? Um? We were

(09:09):
much better friends at that age, So then how did
the love spark started bubble up? Um? So we when
we broke up? Um, I guess we were. It was
like at the end of our sophomore year, and then
that summer both of us started dating other people that

(09:35):
both went to our school. Um. Actually the guy I
started dating was about to go off to college and
he was dating a girl that was a year older
than us in school, and so we never they weren't
close friends, so like, we didn't hang out as much

(09:55):
after that. Um, we saw each other like with our
group of friends, but as far as the date in life,
we just didn't stay super close. But then when we
went off to college our senior year. There's something about
a senior year that just kind of brings everybody really
close together. So I guess our junior year we kind
of we're friends, but didn't hang out as much. I mean,

(10:16):
we had just dated for a while, so we kind
of took a break from the investies. But then it
kind of came back around our senior year because I
was actually ended up dating a different guy that year,
and it was good you dated around before you just
got married. But then I dated the guy I was
dating my senior year. I ended up um dating for

(10:38):
five years and then he yeah, and then he yeah,
well until my senior year. And that's when me and
Thomas Wreck got back together. How did that all go down?
That was like something. So he dated the girl that
was a year older for I think almost five years too.

(10:58):
I mean they dated a while too. Into college. They
both went to Lipscomb and then me and my boyfriend
went to the University of Tennessee go balls UM, and
so Thomas right would come up on the weekends because
we had the football, we had the big campus, we
had no curfew and is like Christian school, right yeah,

(11:19):
and there were you know, parameters that you couldn't go
outside of UM as far as curfews and different things.
And so I think his wild side he was like,
I'm going to go to Knoxville for the weekend, and
you know, did you help them with the wildside? Well,
he would always stay with me when he would come
to town UM, and he would hang out with me

(11:42):
and my boyfriend and all of our friends and then
he would sleep on our couch and yeah, so he
your boyfriend was like, oh whatever, Yeah, I mean we
all lived in the same complex. My boyfriend lived, you know,
a couple apartments over or whatever. And then me and
my girlfriend's my roommates loved him and had notne him
for years, and so we all were just close and

(12:04):
just hang out. And I didn't think anything about it ever,
and my boyfriend didn't either. I mean, we just we
were just friends. But um, my boyfriend and I broke
up at the end of my junior year, and I
guess for whatever reason, Thomas Strett at that point, something

(12:25):
inside of him was just like, I've got to tell
her how I feel because if I don't now, I
don't know. Yeah. So that's well. He told me at
my sister's graduation party in May. Um, we were back
in Nashville. Obviously, my parents asked for my my sister
is graduating from we stay close to your whole family.

(12:48):
If he's at your sister, we are family's vacation together.
Even while we weren't dating, I would go on vacation
to his family's beach house and sometimes he would be there.
Sometimes you wouldn't. That's that's crazy clothes. We're very close,
our sisters are rest friends. Yeah, it continued. It's just
it's deep. It's it's a deep, deep bond with our families.

(13:08):
Could not avoid this right well, and so my sister's
graduation party, everybody was like, you gotta tell her, You've
got to tell. Everybody knew except for me and with
his girlfriend. No, they had broken up I think like
a year before. Um, and he's like, this is my
most moment. And he was like everybody had gone home.
It was like two am. Like We've been sitting on

(13:29):
the front porch talking for like hours and then he
was like, hey, um, I want to tell you something.
And I was like okay, and he was like, I've
been in love with you since I was fifteen years old,
and um, I mean I like, I'm gonna cry, like
I literally fear. I mean it was well and you

(13:52):
would think your heart's melting. That is so just. But
but my initial reaction with A I had just gotten
out of a relationship I loved, I mean I loved him,
I loved his family. It was a really really hard breakup. UM,
And so I was like on the rebound your Yeah. Yeah,

(14:15):
I'm like, I'm not trying to. Let's when he said that,
I was like, first of all, you've ruined our friendship,
like I can't we can't be friends anymore, know this
about you? Um? And second of all, absolutely not if
we were to ever date, if we were even going
to try this out, it would just be rebound like yeah,
I am not in any state to be dating somebody. Um.

(14:36):
And I remember, which was so not his personality or
so not the sixteen year old that I dated him
saying well, let's just roll with it and see what happens.
And I was like what, Like who are you? Who
are you? Because first of all, let's just roll with it,
roll with it, like he's the most like he worries
about everything. Everything induces so much anxiety with him, and

(15:00):
he just roll with it, Especially so when he said that,
I was like, wait a second, you're you're lying, You're not.
Are you the same person that I dated when I
was fifteen he changed into this chill found out later
that his stepdad, Tim, who was like one of the

(15:21):
most wonderful people on this planet, has been coaching him
what to say. And Tim was like, dude, you play
it cool. You play it cool no matter what, and
do you just you stick to your guns like you
stick to like all right, cool, like let's just roll
with it. Let's just see what happens. And so like
Thomas there dying inside, but he's like, yeah, let's just
roll it, roll it. Um. Yeah, So how did rolling

(15:44):
with it go? Did you ever get to rebound with
anybody else? Or is it just it was just him? Um?
And I think it worked because we were so close already,
Like we knew whenever he'd be gone through stuff with
his girl friend who he loved at the time, he
would be heartbroken over their relationship, and then I'd be

(16:06):
heartbroken over me and Michael's relationship. And we'd always talked
to each other like what should I say? What should
I do? This is what's happening. Um, so we we
just stayed. We stayed really close. We double dated a
few times with each other and our boyfriend and girlfriend,
and um, have y'all ever like gone back to your
your other relationships and talk to them about this where

(16:29):
they like I knew there was something there and that
well for a second because it happened so quickly with
him and I a lot of people not I won't
and won't say a lot of people, but there was
definitely talk of people being like, oh, something was happening
before now, which really hurt my feelings because I was like,
if you know me, I hope that you would know
that that's not something I would do and that I

(16:52):
loved Michael and respected him as a person, like, that's
not something I would have done to him. Um, But
I get people make mistakes and you're surprised all the
time when things happen, so I can't fault them for
talking about it, but it hurt my feelings. And but
I was like, you know what, Tom will tell and

(17:12):
I'll just let it roll. I'll just roll with it.
Hope you'll get that. Yeah. So, um, both of our
exes are happily married, and actually his ex goes to
our church and we see them um every now and then.

(17:33):
And they had a baby right before we had Ada James,
and so through pregnancy and labor and delivery, I was
asking Casey all kinds of questions because she had just
gone through it all, and um, so we've stayed we've
stayed really close and through the adoption. Casey was one
of the girls on my group texts of girls that
I would send prayer requests out daily about the adoption, like, hey, today,

(17:57):
we really need this to happen. And so she was
getting all these and she was praying for us through
bringing will a gray home. And yeah, and then Michael
and his now wife, you know, when we have parties
or do whatever, they're always here and we just stay
really close. Um. I mean, there's definitely a period where
you have to like give it a moment, but this

(18:19):
is a lot. It all comes back around though, that
y'all have that kind of personality that it could end
so well. And yeah, I want to still respect each
other and move well. And I just think a starting
office friends, it would be so sad to lose that friendship,
you know. Um, So I think that's what's important to
us is that, you know, you give it the respectable

(18:40):
amount of time that each heart needs to move past
the loving part of the relationship to the in love
part of the relationship, but then bring it back around
to that friendship one day. So what did you and
Thomas's relationship look like after y'all started rolling with it?
And y'all, you know, were this was your rebound? So
how did that go? Yeah, it was. It was my rebound,

(19:01):
so I just would never commit to it. I was like,
we can hang out, we can go on dates, we
can you know, weird to make out for the first time.
Um yeah, well just because I was like so thrown
off it such the friend zone. He was such the
friend zone and I was just not. It grossed me

(19:22):
out about it, truly because I was like really briller
and sister like Ancestral felt and then when we kissed,
I was like, wait a second, maybe there's something else
I've been missing. Um, yeah it was. It went moved fast, though.
I mean I remember when the like here's Thomas Red

(19:44):
the man Now. Yes, truly, I was like when did
I miss you growing up? Like how did I miss that?
But I totally did um, and we still just had
just as much fun, if not more fun when we
were dating, um, because he was still my best friend.
But then I just got to kiss him anytime I wanted,

(20:06):
so it was perfect. And then our families are closed,
so it's just and still still are. I mean we're
still all of us so so close and do vacations together.
And we all were at the farm for Easter and
everything he said, I remember something. I remember the next morning.
So my sister's graduation party was the night before graduation,

(20:29):
and we stayed up so light, like super late the
night before and at the end of the night he
dared me to kiss him and I was like no,
he confesses, no, no, no, yeah, and he was like,
can we just try just one time? And she just
paid it then then we'll just leave it a lot
I've never been showing again, we don't even have to
be friends anymore, like we'll just drop it. I was like, no,

(20:51):
absolutely not, and um we ended up kissing. At the
end of that. I was like, bon like, he what.
I stood up to go inside. I'm like, I gotta
go to bed. My sister's graduating like in a few hours,
and I've got to go to sleep, and so he um.
I remember he stood up and blocked me from walking

(21:12):
past him on the He was like, one kiss and
I'll leave it alone. I was like what, I'm so
confused right now, And I was like, well, what do
I have to lose? Well, great friendship, but here we go,
right right, that's already lost truly. So um, yeah, we
kissed and I remember like kept pulling back from it

(21:34):
and looking at him and being so confused, and then
I'm pretty sure we just kissed again because I was like,
we just try that one more time. Um. And so anyways,
he went home, I went to bed. We were both
at my sister's graduation the next morning. Awkward. The next
day a little bit. No, it was like we were
both so giddy, kind of like, hey, you remember what

(21:56):
happened last night? Um. And I remember sister sitting on
the stage of her graduation, and you know, we were
up close watching her and close enough to where her
and I made eye contact and my eyes got really big,
and I was trying to tell her like, we kissed
last night while on stage, and I remember her like

(22:18):
finally at clicking what I was telling her from the crowd,
And when I tell you, she was like so trying
to play a chill and was freaking out on stage. Um.
It was so so funny. But um, yeah, we it
went really fast that summer. I kept calling it a rebound.
But I knew at the end of that summer, when

(22:41):
I had to go back to school for my senior
year of college, that I was just like, I don't
know how I'm gonna live without him, and then he
was starting radio tour. Clearly it worked out, and wrap around,
wrap your head around being in this lifestyle of kind
of instability for a while, at least in the beginning. Yeah, Um,

(23:03):
I think we were so early on in our relationship
that I didn't really care, or I didn't think that
I cared. Um. I remember thinking like, as long as
we're just together, I don't care what you do. But
I had to finish nursing school, and um, he was
on radio tour, so we were apart a lot my

(23:25):
senior year. Then that was really really hard for me.
And then that summer after I graduated, he was touring
a lot too, and then, um, one of my very
best friends, he was like a little brother to me
that lived across the street, he passed away that April
of my senior year, and UM, so I think I

(23:48):
was like missing my husband and then we had that happened,
and I was just in a really like homesick place
when you lose somebody so close to you and then
you're apart from the person you love, Like my heart
was just hurting so bad. And um, we were engaged

(24:09):
at that spring, so we got engaged the Christmas after
we got together, and um, so I was engaged when
I graduated college, but I just remember thinking, I don't
care what your career is as long as I can
be with you, like that will just help my heart.
And so I didn't care. And then we got married
that October, and then I started traveling with him a

(24:30):
lot more, and what is that road life? It was okay,
we shared a bunk on a twelve person bunk, a
twelve person bus. That's tight, um, and not like that's cool.
That's tight tight right um, And it's newlywed. It's like
you've got zero privacy. You're yeah, it was, so it's

(24:53):
just it doesn't it's not ideal. Well you just like breathe,
you can barely breathe. But okay, it's newly went. You're like,
this is what newly went to do? Like where else
is this going to happen? Because we're just we're gone
all the time. You just make it work where you can,
and you just I mean, Mike, your moment when you can.
I mean, now that's we're all married. We can talk

(25:14):
about this. But being honest, we like Michael and I
would go like when we got to like the shows
and find like arena bathrooms that were abandoned, like under
the bleachers, like in the back of the bus, like
locked the door. Like there's four couples on our bus.
It's like the doors locked, don't come in there. That's right,
that's right. Respect each other's relationships and if the door's locked,
don't come in. It's crazy. Yeah, that's that's tough on

(25:38):
a marriage, not having that space, yes to be a
married yeah. Um so like so that was hard, but
it was also exciting because like doing things like that
like makes it more exciting, you know. And it's so
it was you know, pros and cons to it, but
um yeah, sharing a bunk and then having you know,

(25:58):
twelve guys on a bush, it was it was Yeah,
it was tight, you're right, um, but it very quickly
got old. It was fun for a little bit, and
his career taking off was cool and fun for a
little bit. And then and then it kind of got
real and I was like, oh, this is real life.

(26:20):
We're never home for things we want to be home for,
and when I stay home, you're gone. So I can
go to weddings, but I'm like the forever dateless wedding attendee. Um,
all of that was hard for me. Um, how did
you make peace with it all? Or how do you? Yeah,

(26:42):
because we're kind of still in Um. There are just
so many good things that come with what he does
and seeing him like fulfill his dream. One of your
favorite things that have come from it, Um, travel seeing
the world, seeing the world. I mean it's truly I've
always wanted to travel and get to do things like that,

(27:02):
but it costs money and it's not realistic for most people.
But he's getting paid to go to all these cities,
and so I can just jump on the plane, and
with Southwest being your five dollar companion, it was nothing
for us. Early on it was like it's only gonna
cost me five bucks to go with you. Um, and
we could share a bed so the hotel room that

(27:22):
the label was already paying for, right, So um that
was cool. And then we still get to do now
with kids. We still get to travel with him. It
costs a little more money now, but y'all just packed
the kids up and go pack them up and go
overseas to Yeah. Yeah, we just went to New Zealand
and Australia with all the kids. Awa. Yeah, how do
you do that with help, Yeah, with help. So we

(27:45):
hired a nanny this year. That's smart. We hired a
nanny and she is truly sent straight from heaven. And
same with our assistant mo So mo is our assistant
Mac are nanny Maureen and Mackenzie. We call them mo
and that. Um, but yeah, they're just like are built

(28:07):
in family on the road and they are girls. Adore
both of them and they are two of them are
truly some of my best friends now. And um, they
just they roll with it with us and we just
all kinda roll with it and you just and the
girls are good at traveling. Yeah, I mean, they're definitely

(28:30):
the they they're kids. There are moments that are really
fun and really easy, and there are moments that are
really really hard and you're just like so embarrassed that
your kid is doing the thing that your kid is
doing that when you were younger on an airplane without kids,
You're going, gosh, can you please control your kid? And
I'm going I immediately regret ever thinking that to another parent. Um,

(28:54):
I would never say anything to but that definitely would
get annoyed when the baby would be crying and I'm like, gosh,
do you even discipline your kids? And now I'm like
just eating my words. But um, they're good. They're good
kids and they do. Some of the best advice I
got as a parent was, um, your kids are going
to react the same way you do. Your kids are

(29:15):
going to take things the same way you do. So
if you're freaking out in a situation, they're going to
look to you and they're probably gonna freak out. If
you're playing it cool and you're like, it's all right,
we got this. We'll just roll with it, they're gonna
follow your lead and just chill out and be like,
all right, we got this. Um. So I just am
trying to live by that motto of they're just gonna

(29:37):
see what we do and respond that way. And it's
worked so far. I mean, it's definitely been hard, but
it's so much better than if we were all apart.
So just worth it. So did they come on the
road to they do touring on the bus? Yeah, they
love it the bus because they feel like they're all
you know, everybody's in a bunk, we're all having a
big sleepover and they're close with our band and crew

(30:01):
and so so they just love road life. They love it.
They don't sleep well, but yeah, it's you know, you
win some you lose. You're probably giving up sleep a
long time ago. Yeah, it's not pity, that's right. That's right.
So it's yeah, it's fun. I don't know that we'll
go every run this year just because we've got life
happening here too. Um. But the cool part about our

(30:24):
relationship is we did have about five years without kids.
That's married to that foundation. Yeah, so we got to
go do whatever it was we wanted to go do.
And now missing out on some things, I don't really
feel like I'm missing out because we got to have
our tom and now our girls are kind of, yeah,

(30:44):
the priority, and so if they're not doing well or
we've been gone too long, and I'll just stay home
and we'll be like see you when you get home, daddy. Yeah,
and you're okay with that? I agree. I very grateful. Uh,
same kind of thing. Michael and I have been together
like ten eleven years, married five and I'm just like, Okay,

(31:06):
now we're having our first baby, and I'm like, I
am I can handle this, you know, because you know
what's what it's all like, right, you don't feel left
out right right exactly, and you can make plans for
when you really want to do something that's right, but
it doesn't have to be like, oh my gosh, I
feel like I'm just left behind, right because that's he's
taking off and leaving you. Because I do think some
wives do feel that way for sure, or that like

(31:27):
they've got this glamorous life and you're stuck at home
in the mess, which, to be quite honest, I'll still
feel that way sometimes, but I mean their life is
not all glamorous. Um. I give him a hard time
about his job, but I know he's exhausted at the
end of every day, and um he does he worked
really hard, and so he just youve got to be

(31:50):
a team and you've got to each do your part
and more and then it does work out. But you've
got to What is a secret to a marriage for
you guys? Um, I mean, I really think it's our
friendship and us wanting to like serve each other, because

(32:14):
I think when you, you know, people say you've got
to give. You know, every person's got to give their
fifty percent and their marriage to make up that hundred.
But I think it's you've got to give more. I
think each person has got to give and then then
you're overflowing with the goodness and the help and serving
each other and loving each other, and so you're not

(32:35):
ever coming up short. I mean, I'm not saying that
we don't ever come up short. They're definitely days when
we're not clicking and I just want to cuss him
up and down. But do you know I try and
hold my don but I'm sure he feels the same
way towards me when I'm not having a good day.
Which but do you feel like you've learned each other
so well at this point that you're able to I mean,

(32:57):
this is your hashtag for life role with it. They're like,
even when he's like getting on your nerves and you
want to custom up and down, are you able to
be like, Okay, I've been here before, I'm just gonna
move through this. Yeah. And well, and I think so
much of it is like I could look at the
things that drive me nuts about him, and I have
a list that's probably on one hand the things that

(33:19):
really would cause a fight. Yeah, I think because he
gives so much for me and our kids, and I
want to be doing the same thing for him. That
that the list that's a bad list goes down if
you're each really trying hard to love and serve each other. Um,
when I when I've been having a rough day, or

(33:42):
if I'm being that wife that's snagging and negative and
getting onto him, I have to remind myself that, like, yeah,
I might have this list of things that are driving
me nuts and he's doing all of those today, But like,
what about the list that just doesn't end of the
things that he's good at. What are the things that
he's good at that you love? What are your favorite
things that he does for you in the family? Um,

(34:04):
I mean I feel like I go back to friendship
every time. But just when we play, when we're just
playing all outside, running around us, the kids, the dogs. UM,
Like he's such a good kid, Like he just has
so much fun with our kids, and they have so
much fun with him. And UM, I mean for him

(34:28):
and I when we kind of like have that moment
of feeling like we're dating again, and he takes me
out and we go to dinner and then go to
a movie and and we've got a babysitter and so
we can stay up late and sit outside for hours.
If we want and drink more wine or um, just
like those moments where he makes the time for him

(34:50):
and I to have a moment um that speaks volumes
to be really values you. Yeah, and I don't get
moments with our kids. And mean, you will find out
soon that all of your alone moments will be toast,
won't you have a baby? But I mean it's a
it's a good trade off because you've got your sweet babies.

(35:10):
But um, he tries to leave that space for me.
He tries to. He really tries to be like, hey,
you know, what can I do to help you today?
Or what can I do to help you finish up
the kitchens so we can get in bed? You know,
he I don't know that we have ever, I mean

(35:30):
less than ten times in our marriage. I bet that
we have not gone to bed together. We will wait
up for me and he'll turn on a movie. If
I'm doing working on something or finishing something up that
I want to be doing before I go to bed,
he will turn on a movie or something on TV
and try and stay awake until I get in the bed. Um,

(35:51):
he just he won't go to bed without me. And um,
it's sweet, It's sweet. That he wants me to be
such a part of his life and right next to
him through I'm gonna cry again. Um, but he just
he leaves the space, and he loves us so well
that I when I do get annoyed with him, I

(36:12):
have to remind myself that he is such a good man,
and um, he leads our family so well. And it's
so when I am dateless at weddings, You're like, I
have to remind myself of all the good things that
I have in my husband, and that not everybody gets

(36:32):
to say all of those things. And what about him
making his whole career about you? Every single song he
sings is about you, and you have this big of
a fan club as he does, Like I will never forget.
We were at Lake Shake, I think in Chicago and
a thousand Horses is playing Thomas. It was the Jason
Auden tour, which a thousand Horses, Thomas Rhett and Jayson
Moron and the audience was chanting your name like Laurence.

(36:58):
And I mean, you have millions the fans yourself, Like
he has made his whole career, every song he sings,
every music video about you, and now your daughter so
there's that. Yeah, yeah, right that we can just add
that to the list of things because he loves he
loves us. How does that feel, though, that he's made
you your own musical celebrity through his music? Well, are

(37:21):
you ready for that? It came from a good place,
so I can't get mad at him for it. But
I would be lying if I told you that that
was a dream of mine. I mean, I just, um,
this podcast right here is this is even out of
my comfort zone truly, And and I'm not even talking

(37:44):
to like there aren't people watching me love right now?
You know, Like I'm so outgoing to my friends. I
am like two girls that know me and guys that
know me, Like yes, I Like, I will gladly get
on a stage, be in the spotlight, have the whole
room's attention if it's my close friends. But when it's

(38:05):
people that I'm not sure of how they're taking me
or what they think of me, or I don't know
what it is, but I I freeze. I mean, he
knows he's pulled me on stage a couple of times
and the repercussions if it were not good. I Mean
I just was like, honey, do not do that. Again, like,

(38:27):
don't do it. I'm not comfortable with it. Um well,
it's also weird because a I don't sing, so like
what am I going to do? Walk out on stage
and like just wave at everybody? Do you want me
to do? Um? So it's just I feel so awkward
and and it's his show. It's not my show, but

(38:48):
it is your show. Well it is. I mean, Lauren,
you a hard time swallowing that pill. I mean, Die
Heavy Man is about you. Then he had that life changes. Yeah,
I mean that's that is verbatim, your life's story. You know,
all these songs are. I mean, it's so sweet that
that's what he wants to do with his career. But um,

(39:12):
I didn't think that uncomfortable and how much he loves
your family that he wants that's what he wants. It's
presciure to sing about. It's sweet, is y'all? I mean
that's bringing tears in my eyes. So speaking of life
changes in the song, talk to me about how you
got involved with Africa and when you I knew that
you were going to adopt Willow Gray because actually you

(39:35):
were on Toro is Thomas Jason and a Thousand Horses
and I'll never forget. You were talking about how you
were about to adopt, and I remember thinking, like, I
was I'm older. I'm hold, are you almost thirty? Okay?
So I was like, I'm like five years older than you,
five and a half, and you were like probably like
twenty six or seven. Then I remember thinking like, oh

(39:56):
my gosh, you're so mature that you're not only ready
to have a kid, but you know how to adopt
a kid, Like how do you even know how to
do all these hard rental things. I'm like over thirty
three and I don't know anything about and You're like,
We're going to adopt a kid, and it's so exciting.
I'm like, oh my gosh, Yeah, how did you feel
called to do this? Like, um, I neither, How did

(40:16):
that all happen? And how did you get involved with Africa?
Because it stole your heart? Yeah? Oh yeah, yeah, so
I went. I went to Haiti first. That stole my heart.
Truly loved, loved, love the people of Haiti um on
a mission trip. I went with Susanne Mernick, who is
the founder of Love One. It used to be called
A hundred forty seven million orphans, but we made a

(40:40):
shift in what. Yeah, they just they kind of came
up with the number that would raise awareness. They just
picked a number because I don't think you can really know,
but there's a lot of a lot of orphans. UM.
And so I went on a trip with Suzanne and
it was my first trip that was not happy. Man

(41:01):
started to go and UM and that one everything like
song of the years, saying he yeah, it was. It
was the song that it definitely changed his career. Um.
And then when I went to Haiti, actually flew back
into Vegas. No was that Haiti. I don't know. I

(41:22):
remember one award show I had just come from a
third world country, and I remember it was Vegas. I
don't remember what award show was. Maybe it wasn't a
C M S. It may have been like I don't know,
I can't remember, but I remember locking myself in the
bathroom in our hotel room when I landed and got
to because some of our family was there too, And

(41:45):
I remember locking myself in the bathroom and just crying
for like an hour because it was the re entry
was yeah, because here you go seeing all this other
world that doesn't have any of the things that we have,
and now you're going into like red carpet. That's a
big change. It was horrible. What did that do to
your heart? Um? I just felt like, well, I started

(42:07):
to resent his career. I started to resent a lot
of the luxuries that we have in America because it
made me sick to know that there were so many
people that were without so much and we're just over
here partying and living the dream and not worried about
it right, And it made me sick. I was like,
how can we be living our lives here and just

(42:30):
have such a blond ah to what's really happening in
our world, to our human race? How did you deal
with those feelings? Um? It took a lot of processing.
And Suzanne had been doing it for years and she
talked me through a lot of it, and um, I
just had to talk it through with a lot of people.

(42:51):
And what did you come to? What is your what
is your hybrid? Answer? Because now you're you have a
foot in both places? So how how egress well being
happy with both? In reality? I wouldn't be able to
travel and do these things if he wasn't doing the
career that he's doing, because we wouldn't have the money
it's expensive. It's expensive to go and travel and do

(43:12):
those things. I mean a trip to Africa is really expensive.
And that's not staying in a nice hotel. I mean
you're staying in a safe hotel, but it's no five
star American hotel. It's not expensive because of that. It's
the travel. It's um, you know the amount of work
that we're doing over there, that that cost a lot
of money. And so raising money stay side. Um, there's

(43:37):
a lot of money that goes into into the travel,
into putting on big events to try and raise a
lot of money. UM, because you need money to be
able to put things into place, to create sustainable projects
and um, helping the whoever the people are you're trying

(43:58):
to help. It's not free. I mean you can't just
do all of that with no money. And so the
platform that we have, we're able to bring in the
people who love us and follow us and want to
be a part of what we're doing. And so we're
just like this big community of people that are supporting
each other. We're supporting people around the world, and UM,

(44:21):
we wouldn't be able to do that if he wasn't
in this career. So that gave you piece. Yea, So
it's like, you know, I could feel so disconnected from
the two, but I'm going to choose to try and
blend the two worlds and tell my world in America
and around the world who follows us, what we're a
part of and tell them how they can be a

(44:43):
part of it, and our needs and what we're our goals,
what we're trying to do, and and show them pictures
of the children whose lives are forever changed because of
their support. And so that would be really hard to
do if I just had, you know, too hundred people
watching me. I mean, we could definitely change some lives,

(45:03):
but hundreds of lives are being changed because of the following.
So have you been able to embrace having a platform
now because even it's out of your comfort zone, now
that you are able to use it for something that
is so important to you, have you been able to
embrace that? Yeah? Totally. And so now you know, when

(45:25):
when I'm doing things that are out of my comfort zone, um,
I have to remind myself that, like, hey, in some way,
somehow this can benefit the kids that we're trying to
take care of the orphans around the world, and the
families that are on the verge of losing each other,

(45:46):
keeping families together so we don't have the orphan crisis.
UM continuing to rise and rise and UM, so that
makes it all worth it to me because if I'm like,
if I have to get out of my comfort zone
just to talk to some people on Instagram or to
talk to people on a podcast, or if he pulls
me out on stage and more and more people start

(46:07):
to follow me, those are more ears and eyes that
can be listening and watching the world change because of
their support, um and just bringing awareness just because you
don't have to be supporting our cause, but you go
do good in the world wherever you want to go,
do good, and UM, I just I want that to

(46:32):
be what we're about, you know. I want us to
of course have fun and and have a world where
our kids definitely have fun in his career and we
get to travel and see beautiful places, but also our
family and our fan base and our friends like being

(46:54):
aware and and encouraged to do whatever it is the
Lord may have put on their hearts to go and
do good, if whether that's here around the corner or
you know, with your own kids. I mean sometimes moms, truly,
I have help, like I had to, like you know,
swallow my prod and go, hey, I'm not going to

(47:15):
be able to do all this travel and do all
of this nonprofit work and all the things that I'm
doing without help. So we are able to hire help.
But there are a lot of moms who don't have
that luxury, and so their ministry truly maybe two watch
their babies, teach their babies, love their babies, and teach

(47:37):
them how to love and be good, good stewards of
our world and of the people around us. So I
just hope that all of this following and fame, if
you will, turns into spreading just goodness and and love,
just for people to love each other and to try

(47:58):
and help out where you can and not just not
just use up the planet and then be gone one day. Yeah,
so you talked about calling, calling on your heart. How
did you get this big calling? Like? What did it
feel like and was something you couldn't ignore? Yeah? For sure.
I mean, well, I mean, just like the vaguest story

(48:18):
of me locking myself in the bathroom, it wrecked me.
I mean it took my heart straight out of my
chest and I knew I was never getting it back
like you had changed, you had been changed forever. Yeah,
you could never be the same again. And it was
jumped on board, did Yeah. And and even before he

(48:40):
had traveled with me, Um, he was pumped when I
came home and kind of like spilled even though I
was in a pretty dark place right when I came back,
when I spilled all of this to him, he was
pumped because he saw, like this passion because for years
you're such a great you really are, unless that he

(49:03):
supported your calling and your passion. Yeah, because I think
he knew well because I had gone to nursing school
and I am a licensed, a registered nurse, and I
never worked in the hospital. I never got to work
as a nurse, And so I gave up my career

(49:23):
to let his career take precedent over our family. And
that that's not me letting a man rule my world.
That's letting the love of my life see his opportunity
and wanting to support that because it was and you
have to seize the moment, Yes, and I wanted that
for him. And to be quite honest, if I was

(49:47):
working and he was doing his we could have done it.
But Um, there's no way our relationship would be where
it is now if I had been home all of
those years working, because you would missed all those moments
to guess so much Bondie and the experiences, just that
foundation of building that together when his career is starting,

(50:09):
and so when it came my time, so to speak,
he did the exact same thing, which is like, I
will do whatever it takes for you to live out
your passion and to do what you feel like you're
called to do. And so, um, yeah, it's just a
lot of what do they calling feel like? It was heavy,

(50:32):
so heavy. I remember coming back from Haiti with Susanne
and it was the first time that her and I
had ever been together. That the first time I met
her was the meeting right before we left. Um and
of one of my really good friends is her nephew,
and I love and trust him so much that when
he told me, you've got to go with her, You've

(50:53):
got to meet her, You've got to go on these trips,
like I just know this is what you're supposed to do.
He told me that for years, and when this trip
came up, he was like, I really feel like this
is a trip you need to go on and I
just all of a sudden said yes. I don't even
know why, but I did, and I went, and Um,
Susanne and I basically became instant best friends. And on

(51:18):
the trip home from Haiti, I remember like trying to
process a lot of what we had seen and been
a part of and the met we did a medical
clinic that time, and um, I was just processing so much.
And on the plane home I looked over at her
and I said, listen, anytime you book a flight to

(51:38):
go anywhere to serve, book me one right next to you.
And she was like, um, are you sure. It's it's expensive,
it's um, it's heavy, it's exhausting. Um, But it's also
the most life giving thing that she knows, she was
telling me that she'd ever been a part of. But

(51:58):
it's hard, it's hard, and it does take you away
from home, you know, quite a bit. Um. And she
was like that's a pretty big commitment, Like are you sure?
And I was like, I hadn't even talked to Thomas
read about it. It was just like it was so
clear to me that that's where the Lord had me.
And I was just like, all right, I hear you like, uh,

(52:20):
I want to go. I want to go and do
if that, if that's why we're here, then I want
to do whatever it takes to accomplish this work on earth.
And so um. I think when he saw that passion
in me, and even though I was heartbroken for the
people of Haiti, I think he saw the love and

(52:43):
like the fire inside of me. And I'm sure for
a few years where I felt like I was just
kind of on his tour, following him around, it was
something that he hadn't seen in me in a long time.
And I think once he saw that fire, he was like,
we're not letting this fire go out, like you've got
to go and do I love Oh my god, I
love that he loves your fire too. Like the fact

(53:05):
that you guys are such a strong, supportive marriage. That
is that's why people love y'all truly because of all
the great things you're doing. But also it's so hopeful
for people to see a marriage of two people who
really love each other. We love each other, we love
each other so so much, but we also fight just

(53:26):
like everybody else. That's okay, because if you didn't, that
would be weird. That's right, that's right. Um, Yeah, I think, Um,
I do think a lot of people have an unhealthy
view of our marriage, though I think there are a
lot of people who think it's perfect. Like what do
you tell me Instagram versus reality of real's marriage. Yeah,
So I try and keep it as real as possible

(53:48):
on Instagram. But I'm also not going to just post
like depressing things because who who wants to see that? Um?
But if you talk to me and I want to
ask me the questions, answer them honestly. Um. But yeah,
Instagram is is. We are a happy family. That is truth.
We we do love each other and we love hard,

(54:11):
but we also fight hard. What are the hard parts? Um?
I just I think it's when we're all exhausted and
he's got to go do one more thing and our
calendars didn't sync up. He didn't check that I had
this going, and I didn't check that he had that going,
and we're missing each other and that it drives me

(54:35):
nuts when we're not synked on our calendars, because then
it's our kids that are hurting because one or both
of us are gone and we're like scrambling to get
Mac over here when she was supposed to be off
or um. We're just our life is so chaotic right
now that it's hard to soun on top of it. Um.
But that's probably the most common thing that happens, is

(54:58):
that we're so busy we miss each other a lot.
And when you start missing each other and not spending
quality time, the little things that do drive y'all nuts
about each other. Man, they come in full force. And
like if he's laving his clothes on the ground, and
and like the kitchens are wreck and the kids are

(55:18):
crying saying daddy, and and he's on the phone that
morning or whatever, or like if I'm getting onto him
for not being a clean, organized person, which is not
who he is naturally, I'm getting onto him for him
being just who he is and nitpicking everything. And my
patients is so thin, and the fights just can start

(55:40):
in the blink of an eye, and I don't even
know how we got there, and and we're just on
each other, like, oh, well, if you hadn't done this,
then this wouldn't happened. He's like, oh, okay, well, if
you know, it's just it just gets out of hand
so quickly, and gosh, I mean, it's just like every
family every relationship. I mean, you just that's what they say. Uh, halt, hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

(56:05):
do not proceed forward if you are any of those things. Yes,
because he can get ugly fast, and that's not something
I want my kids to see, right. And but we're
so all on top of each other all the time
that whatever happens, everybody knows. So it's um which is
I mean, it's good, it's there. They're seeing reality, but um, yeah,

(56:27):
it's just it's reality. But at the end of the day,
I may not like him all the time, but I
do love him all the time. Yes, I don't have
to like him all the time. It's impossible to like
someone all the time, especially someone that you do every
single thing for sure, for sure, because that's the thing
with marriage, Like marriage is so great and I love
being married, but sometimes, like you are with this person

(56:50):
at all times, they are basically you, you are them,
and you're not always going to feel the same way
about everything, totally think the same way, Like things are
going to be nd up, but you're still like, Okay,
I have to like listen to you and deal with you. Yeah, right,
we gotta figure it out somehow. Because we're stuck together. Um,

(57:11):
but yeah, we have moments like that, just like everybody
else does it. Just I'm probably not going to like
post our or live stream are fighting. You're not going
to put a picture of Thomas rest laundry on the floor,
but like, screw you as honey. Oh my gosh, can
you imagine if I brought all of our fights to
Instagram something else? So what was it like when you

(57:33):
were adopting Willow Gray because you had fallen in love
with a little Gray even before Thomas met her. So
what was that like bringing her home and knowing that
you this was your daughter. You had to bring her
home thinking you probably weren't going to maybe be able
to get pregnant or something because you have been trying.
We've been trying for a little bit. Yeah, and so
you were thinking, Okay, this is this is how I'm

(57:54):
going to be a mom. And at least right then,
I wasn't. I didn't I hadn't like written off ever
getting pregnant, but um, we had tried for a little bit,
so so that I think that's what prepped my heart
to be ready for a baby, because we were already
like actively trying for a baby, and so when she

(58:16):
came into my life, Yeah, it made it a little
bit easier to pursue that because I knew we were
trying for one. Anyway, what was it about Willow Gray? Um,
she was just one of two babies at the children's
home that we were supporting at the time. And UM,

(58:37):
she's the one that just kind of attached to me
that week. And her story is a little bit different
than some of the kids in children's homes and around
the world. UM, and a lot of kids have her story.
But her story is that nobody knows any blood by

(58:59):
lawgical relative of hers. We don't know a true orphan,
We do not know anything. How does she get to
or um? They when she was brought in, she was
like two weeks old. UM. But there was a lady.
There's a little bit of backstory there, UM, and some

(59:20):
of that is pretty sensitive to her story, so I'll
leave some of the details out. But it ended up
a lady who was not related to her. UM didn't
didn't even know who she was. She brought Willi Gray
to the police station, and the police station brought her

(59:40):
to the children's home in that area to take care
of her. And um, you know there had been broadcast
of you know, a child uh huh and kind of
given details of that, and nobody ever came forward and
they did an invest an investigation, but nothing was ever
they never found anything or anybody. And UM, so I think,

(01:00:04):
in my heart a lot of the kids there and
not that not that I don't want a loving home
for every single child and a children so I do,
but I think, more than anything and that's what we
try and do it. Love one um is keeping families together.
So if a child has a living relative that's healthy

(01:00:25):
with their mind and they're able to love that child,
the goal is to get them back with their families
and then figure out how we can help keep families together. Um.
But for the most part, a lot of those families
split up because they're just they're poor and they're not
able to care for children, so they end up having

(01:00:46):
to send them away to children's homes to be cared
for because they're not able to do it on their own. Um.
But then you've got stories like Willi Gray of children
who truly don't have someone to care for them, even
if they were able. And um, I think knowing that
about her and holding her that day that uh, I

(01:01:10):
took a picture of her and I and I think
I actually posted on Instagram. And that's how Tom streat
I saw her for the first time. Lauren. It's just
so much love, but it's like such heavy things build
was so much love. We FaceTime that night at our

(01:01:32):
hotel and he was like, who is the baby in
your picture? And I was like, oh, funny you should ask,
because um, she needs home, Like I know this is
not her future, Like this children's home is not is
not her future, this is not where she's going to be.
And and I told him, I said, we know so

(01:01:56):
many people back home that are looking to adopt, and um,
they're open to it and just wanting a baby, and um,
this is something that their hearts are called to do
and they want to give a child at home. Like
we just need to tell everybody that we know about
this baby. This is this just cannot be her life.
And and without even hesitating, he was like, we'll do

(01:02:20):
it now. I was just like, what, I'm a pregnant
emotional like the tears have been bound to becoming Oh
my gosh, Flauren, I know I can't even handle that
right now. Um, I think for a second. I remember

(01:02:41):
talking to Stan later, gung ho do this how It's
kind of like, I'm sorry, come again. Is this Thomas
Shrett that I'm face timing with Because we talked about
adopting early on in our marriage. My mom's adopted, and
so I am a product of a very healthy, he
adopted family. Um, your mom's like your us. She's the
coolest she really is. You're close to your whole family. Yeah,

(01:03:04):
we're all very very close to the point where some
people are like, is that normal? It's dream? We love
it though, we love it. Um. So we talked about it,
but I just didn't think it was something that he
was going to like definitely jump on board with. I thought,
for sure, if we were going to get pregnant, I
thought that needed to happen first to like really get

(01:03:27):
him ready for an adopted baby, because that process, you know,
the labor and delivery and the pregnancy, most of that
is on the mom um. When you're an adoption, it's
a lot of work on both of you. It's a
lot of it's stressful. Yes, it took about thirteen months
for us, which actually is pretty short compared to some people.

(01:03:51):
Some stories you hear just the legal all the legal tape,
there's so much. A lot of it is to protect
the child, to make sure that it's the right thing
and the family is not doing it for the wrong reasons.
And at least with Uganda, the judge that we had

(01:04:11):
said that, you know, his his only role in this
scenario was to look out for her and make sure
that she was where she's supposed to be and taken
care of. And so a lot of that is a
lot of that is what takes so much time. And
then things tend to move a little bit slower in Uganda,

(01:04:33):
I think, And so that that took a lot of
tom and um, it was just a lot of loss.
But once we got through that, um, then you have
to go to the U. S side of things, and
you have to go through all of that legal a

(01:04:54):
whole another round. Yeah, So it just takes a little while.
And then once you get all of that legal stuff,
then you've got to get you know, your appointment with
the U. S. Embassy just to get her visa, and
sometimes that visa approval is hard to get. And so
I was stuck over there thinking like, oh my gosh,

(01:05:17):
am I even going to get to bring her home
because I was pregnant. And so when did you find
out you were pregnant in the midst of all this,
So when we went over around Christmas in two six
I really felt like God had told me I was
coming home with a baby. And I was like, no,
she's coming home. And people are like, you coming home,

(01:05:38):
and I was like, no, no, I've already, I've I've
talked to God and He's bringing a baby home with us.
It was it was me praying and praying and praying
and praying for Willow Gray and and I just had
this piece like don't worry, don't worry, You're gonna you

(01:05:59):
were gonna come home with your baby. I was like, Okay,
she's coming home. It's coming home for Christmas. And so, um,
we got home, I think on the three of December
without her, without her. So you were upset. I was
so upset. But two weeks before we were we'd come home.

(01:06:22):
We were over there obviously, and um, I found out
I was pregnant. What I was like, Oh my gosh,
So you then knew you were about to have to
k yeah, and then home I was like, hit me
that I was coming home with a baby, and I

(01:06:44):
was like, all right, I see you. God, let's see
what you're doing. What did How did you process that? Well?
It was a panic. It was panic initially because I
was like, holy crap, how are you going to do this? Yeah? Um? Well,
and then just of course, like the physical hurdles of
being pregnant and being there. My doctor is, however, many

(01:07:07):
thousands miles away, um, and you know, hoping all goes well.
But the medical care there isn't isn't like the medical
care that I'm used to hear. I mean, first world problems.
But I'm like, okay, but I do have access to
really good medical care for this baby. So like, how
do you choose to go home for one baby or

(01:07:29):
stay for another? So it was a lot of back
and forth, and finally I just told my doctor like, listen,
I'm staying over there until the last possible second, Like
you just gonna You're gonna have to make me come home.
And we were so close to bringing Will the Gray
home that I was holding out and holding out, holding out,
and my dad actually ended up so Tom Strett wasn't

(01:07:50):
with me. He was touring, and so my mom came
over with me for the last part of the adoption.
And when I had to go back, my doctor was like, listen,
you've got to come back over here. We've got to
check on you and baby. And so my dad got
all of his shots and got you know, ready to
prepped to come to Uganda, and my dad flew over

(01:08:13):
and he stayed at night, and then the next day
I flew out into him and my mom. Um. Let's see,
I came home like on the third of May, and
Willi Gray came home the eleventh. So my mom and
dad stayed there a week and a half and then
they were the ones who brought her home. I was
so upset that I didn't that I'd like I wanted

(01:08:36):
to be the one to bring my baby home. It
didn't broke me, but coming home I look back now
and realized, like that was like the Lord's way of
like letting me settle down, letting me have like a
few days at home with my dogs. I know that
sounds stupid, but like, I love my dogs, and I

(01:08:58):
was already anxious about bringing babies into the home with
them because I knew the attention was not going to
be on them anymore. So it was so nice getting
to be home with Thomas Stratt, getting to be home
with my dogs. I kind of got to get the
house a little bit ready. We got to process through
some things. I got to get through my jet lag.
I mean, can you imagine how a new baby and

(01:09:19):
then being jet lagged. It's a moment of just yeah.
And so I realized that I really needed that, I
needed it, and I had um one more night with
all my girlfriends. We all went out for Sinco to
Mayo and got well, I had a virgin Margarita, but
we all went to Bar Taco and got tacos and
Margarita's and um, it was good. It was good. And

(01:09:41):
then when she was able to come home, I was ready.
I was ready to have her. I was ready, her
room was ready. April Tomlin got her room ready for
me without I wasn't even here, and April just transformed
my house while I was in Africa. Um. Also another
angel dropped into my life. She's amazing. Um. But yeah,
I just I was ready for her then and it

(01:10:04):
ended up being okay. It was okay that I didn't
bring her home on the plane. Um, and it was
the best thing for her. And ah, so it um
it worked out. But then yeah, three months to the
day that Willi Gray came home, I was induced with
ada James. So, now what is life like you're adjusting

(01:10:25):
to already having because Willi Gray is how old when
she's home? She came home in eighteen months? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
she's toddling, she's walking around, and so you're adjusting to
life with her and now you have a newborn. Just
how I need to know what Those first few months
looked like. They're a blur. But the good thing about

(01:10:47):
our crazy family being so close to us is that
they were here doing so much for me and for
the babies and for Thomas, Rhett and um. It was
it was all just fun. It was fun and it
was really fun. It was exhausting, what was the most
But I was just like so much adrenaline, Like seeing
Willow Gray being able to hold her sister. They love

(01:11:10):
each other right away. Oh my gosh. Willi Gray is
such a mother already. She is um yeah, and she
just so sweet. I mean, it was just she was
obsessed with her the second she saw her. I mean
she still is. She still wants to wash her hair
in the bath and go get her water out of

(01:11:31):
the fridge, or get the milk cup ready and give
her the milk. Or she wants to feed her her food.
And Ada James is twenty months old. It's not like,
you know, she can do a lot of that on
her own. But um Will Gray wants to do everything
for and she wants to whenever she gets a toy,
she wants another one for Ada James. Whenever she loves her,
and she's always They're always asking about each other. The

(01:11:53):
second one of them wakes up, they're asking about the
other one. If the other one is not awake. Yes,
I just fill your heart so sweet. They're just they're
the best friends. And oh, did you believe this is
how your life turned out? No? Could you? Way better
than I ever could have dreamed. I mean, because it's
and that I feel it goes to show why I

(01:12:13):
try to make some stiff plan because if it was
not worth it, if you would have had your life,
I'll organize that you're going to fall along, you would
have missed all of this. It feels like maybe a
chaos at times, but has turned into the most beautiful, wild,
loving existence. And the human mind could not have come
up with that dream. It just do you think this

(01:12:35):
is God. I mean, there's no way nobody in the
right mind would have said to do all of those things,
you know, I mean you just dreamed them up. No, no, Well,
and so much of it was hardship, going through that
hardship to get to the rainbow on the other side.
Do you think hardship is important? Yeah? Oh yeah, because
then you appreciate where you are and you don't take

(01:12:57):
it for granted. And and then it you know, hard
work pays off and you really it's good. It's good
for you to struggle a little bit and feel like
you don't know what you're gonna do, because in reality,
we're not all in control. We think we are, but
so many of us that break out when we get
to that struggle and we're like, oh my gosh, what's next?

(01:13:18):
Like I'm lost? Yeah, So what is what is your
take on that? Um? How what do you what's your
advice for me? For me, it's truly just leaning on
the Lord and mean like, hey, I learned to embrace
the struggle. Oh yeah, I just I just expect it now.
It's just it's coming. But we're going to get out

(01:13:38):
the other side like we always do. And He's always
going to make away. He may close a door, bill
open a window, and through the whole process. I just
had to Like my mantra was, the Lord is not
going to bring me here to leave me. I love that.
I almost got that tattoo on my hand really, like,
the Lord didn't bring me this far to leave me,

(01:13:59):
Like you can't have come this far ago dropped off
in the middle of the desert to die. I think
clinging to that, knowing that like I wasn't able to
see the way out, but trusting that he knew the
way out and he had already made it. I just
said to wait for it. How do you know when
you're on God's path and not your path? Like, how
do you know when it's when you're on the path
that God's going to lead you out of instead of

(01:14:20):
your own desires? Um? What's the feeling? Well, a lot
of it is very selfless. I mean if you start
doing the things that you that feel like selfish desires.
And I don't mean like a mom needing a break
from her kids and like going to get a massage,

(01:14:40):
like those things are needed, like you need to take
time for yourself is important, right, But I mean like doing,
like living for yourself. I feel like for me, that's
when I start to veer and not go where I
feel like he's calling me to go. But when I'm serving,
and and where when I'm serving, either in Africa or

(01:15:03):
Haiti or my family or my friends, that's when I
feel like I'm I'm surrounded by people who are pushing
me the direction he's wanting me to go. And I've
got people speaking truth into my life and encouraging me
to do things, and opportunities just pop up. And um,
and a couple of times the Lord has audibly, you know,
spoken to me through other people and and um, that's

(01:15:27):
not something I was comfortable with growing up, the gift
of prophecy. But um, I've I've had it happened to
me a couple of times now. And UM it's a
little freaky at first, but um, he's given some people
that gift. And when he's speaking directly to me, um,

(01:15:52):
and I know it's him because he proves it. He
proves it through the speaking. I mean, I remember the
first time he did. He um called out things about
me and Thomas Dratt and our conversation earlier that day
that no one could have known. No one could have
known UM, and just the things that the peace that

(01:16:13):
comes with that word and UM, and with the clear
directions he's given me when he's spoken to me. And
seeing the fruit of that and and going through it
and listening, listening to those directions and seeing on the
other side what happened because of it is proof that
like having that faith and trusting that if you feel

(01:16:35):
like he's calling you to do something, or you know,
spirits putting something on your heart and you listen to it,
you know like you just know, and and then you
may be going through a lot of hard times, but
you're not alone, and you know you're not alone, and
it's important to have people around you that can support
you in that and and have that same belief and

(01:16:59):
encourage you. Because were definitely times the adoption that I
was not standing on my own. I wasn't I wasn't
even standing. I had people really every day lifting me up.
I mean, I was, I was so, I was angry.
I was. I was angry at Thomas tradd I was
angry at his career for him not being with me

(01:17:20):
through that. I was angry at the Ugandan government for
not moving faster I was angry at if. I was
angry that I was pregnant. I was angry that I
was throwing up in a bathroom with no air conditioning,
and it's so sick, angry that it wasn't your plan. Yes,

(01:17:40):
I was just angry, and so the thought of praying
about it made me want to hurt somebody. I was like, no,
I got I can't, I can't, I can't get there.
And so that's when I started these group texts and
sending these texts out to my family and my close girlfriends,
and um, they all recovering me in prayer and covering

(01:18:03):
the whole situation in prayer. And um, they were praying
for the windows to open when the doors would shut,
and they were praying for my peace. They were praying
for my sanity. They were praying for both of my babies.
They were praying for my marriage. They were praying Gods,
this is so beautiful. I mean, how amazing it was,
But how amazing that that's you knew, that's what you needed,

(01:18:25):
and that's what you sought for even though you weren't there,
and yourself you're like, I know, this is the way
to get to where I need to be and then
you probably felt the showering of love. Oh yeah, and
then it carried carried us straight through. I mean we
just then she came home, you know, like it all
worked out. But I would be lying if I told

(01:18:49):
you I wasn't miserable. Miserable at times and like and
some of the deepest, darkest valleys I've ever been in
my life. Yeah, what did you learned there? Um? I
learned that no marriage is perfect and that every marriage
is able to fail, every one of them. Like, you

(01:19:10):
have got to communicate and you've got to want to
work at it or it will fail. And so after
I came home from Africa, we started doing serious counseling together.
And what tell me why you love that so much? Because, well,
because it was it. You've got a third person that's

(01:19:31):
not in your relationship, that's not taking sad and they're
breaking down not only like how to see each other
in different views or put yourself in their situation, but
also breaking down like why you're feeling the way that
you're feeling, why you react the way you react, and
why when he says this to me it triggers this,
and why when when I say that to him? It

(01:19:53):
triggers that and him and how that's breaking each other down.
And I mean, we just learned so much about each other,
so much about ourselves, so much about marriage, and so
much about sacrificing what it takes to another level. Did
but you also were willing to do the work right,
That's what you're saying, because if you don't want it
to fail, if you get to that point where you're

(01:20:14):
just the list is all you see, right, your short
list is all you see, the bad things, and then
you get hung off on that it will fail. But you, guys,
but you want Yeah, you did the work you got
and then once you do the work, it's like the
Heaven's open up and you're on this. I do like you,
and then you have such a new depth with this

(01:20:34):
person for sure, for sure, And um yeah, I mean
there was a lot of darkness that came out of
that adoption journey, but then so much beauty because of
the darkness to get out. Yes, because there's no way
we would be this strong if we hadn't gone through that.
Good for y'all for going to therapy and doing that. Truly,

(01:20:57):
it's one of our favorite things to do. And he
loves it not too He loves it. He probably loves
it more than I do. That's amazing. He loved to
talk about his feelings and emotions. I'm not so much so.
I think it came more natural to him. But it's
it's a very good thing. I encourage everybody to do
that in some form of fashion. I totally agree. What

(01:21:19):
do you think the point of this life is? Um?
I think to love each other well? I think to
love just to love well, I mean to love the
earth well, to love each other well, to take care
of what we've been given, and you know, get ready
for eternity. Why do you think so many people are unhappy? Um?

(01:21:43):
Happiness isn't always a given. Why do you think so
many people are upset with maybe not happiness, but like
the way their life has turned out. I mean, I'm
sure every story is so so different. But I wonder
how many of those people that are so unhappy, I

(01:22:05):
wonder how many of them are serving with a lot
of their life. I feel like the most life giving
thing I can do is to take care of somebody else,
to love somebody else so much that UM serving them,
whether that's your neighbor or your kids. Like I was
talking about earlier or traveling Africa Haiti, I don't anyone.

(01:22:30):
I don't know anywhere. I mean just a state over anywhere,
And I mean there's so much need in the US.
I just I think when you feel like you're doing
your part and you're you're doing your best two steward
this life well and what you've been given, the people
who have been given to you in your life and
the world we've been given. Um, it's gonna be hard.

(01:22:55):
They're going to be moments where it's just it just
sucks and it's not fun. But I think as long
as you're holding on to that feeling of knowing that, like,
we live in a fallen world, so it's just gonna
suck a lot of the time, but there is a
lot of beauty in it. There's a lot of beauty
and humans. And I think when you find that and

(01:23:17):
hold onto it and really commit to loving and encouraging
each other, even when that person may not seem like
they deserve it, you end up loving and encouraging yourself too,
And that does a lot for a soul. Yeah, you know,

(01:23:37):
and I think that can bring a lot of peace. Um,
And I'm not trying to make light of. No, there
are some situations that just go on and on and
on and are very very dark and hard, and I
don't want to, you know, ignore that, but oh man,
we do. We live in a fallen but a beautiful

(01:23:58):
world at the same time. You just to find it
and hopefully you have people around you that encourage you.
And if you don't, maybe that's part of your problem
is you don't have the people, the community around you
to push you that right direction and to love you back.
That's so profound. Yeah, you gotta have people loving you back.

(01:24:18):
You do you do, or then you're drained if you
don't have somebody loving you back, loving you well, yeah,
that's your first assignment. I mean, God loves you well
no matter what, but you need that community on earth.
Like Okay, I would talk to you forever, but obviously,
oh my gosh, we've got to wrap up. Um okay,

(01:24:41):
tell me leave your light. End with every interview with
leave your light. Obviously you're just like a prophet to me,
like you are speaking. You are so good at following
your soul's calling and following the Lord path for you.
But leave your light, like out of everything you've gone through,
your life journey. What is something you want to share
with people who maybe aren't as confident in their spirituality

(01:25:06):
or their journey, or I feel lost, or what is
just something that you want people to know? Um. I
think probably what I've learned more than anything is that
I'm not capable of doing anything that people look at
my life and go, oh my gosh, you did this,

(01:25:28):
Like I am not capable. Nobody is capable. Nobody gets
where they're going on their own. And I just think,
know your heart, know your heart, know your passion, and
and know that the Lord has like an incredible plan
for your life no matter who you are. But trusting

(01:25:49):
in that and and knowing that you it's the weight
is not all on you. And and when you're on
those mountaintops, not crediting it to yourself, you know. I
think that's where you kind of find your groove in
the world and and really start moving mountains and seeing

(01:26:11):
hearts and lives transformed. And Um, then you have this
peace and this passion that you're living out and it's
really cool. It's cool, and it's fun, and it's life
giving and it's fulfilling. It's I think that's what everybody wants.
It is a fulfilling, life, giving life and everybody can

(01:26:33):
have it. But it's not something you're going to do
on your own. You don't have to. Who wants to
do anything on their own? Me? You don't know everybody
really does. But um yeah amazing. Tell me the name
website to go to, love on one for love one Yeah,
um so love one International dot org and that's where.

(01:26:57):
That's where your heart is, SMaL heart is where. Thank
you so much for talking to me. I didn't even
realize this is an hour and a half. It was
so incredible. Oh my gosh, you're amazing. Hey we can talk.
You're the best. Love you Love you too. Come

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Caroline Hobby

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