Marie-Joe is born French Canadian. She lived and loved half of her life in Canada then relocated to America with her husband for his job opportunity just over 2 decades ago. Talk about a woman who knows how to pivot, re-invent herself, follow her curiosity and passion, put herself out there even when she doesn’t see the road, just the first step... that’s Marie-Joe. I LOVE Marie-Joe’s zest for a passionate life and her willingness to just go for it. She doesn’t overthink or doubt her instincts and gifts. She isn’t scared to be the boss and make important choices. I learned so much from this conversation. Key points: be confident, be bold, don’t be scared to try something you’re curious about and feel like you could be gifted in, start small and within your network of people and work for free/part time/side hustle in the beginning, gaining experience is priceless and essential... You can build a thriving, top career from the bottom up while being a mother, just learn your boundaries. Marie-Joe talks about finding her way in a new country, charting her own course with her design dreams, balancing motherhood, marriage and career and not feeling guilty for needing all 3 in her life, which comes with learning when to make sacrifices and where. This episode is crucial for women who want to know how to have it all and be so round of your life, family and relationships without sacrificing it all.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, Carolin, She's a queen and talking. She's getting really
not afraid to feel it's so so just let it flow.
No one can do with caral is sounds carolus sounds
(00:27):
pretty thrilled to be here with you, Marie Jo and
your beautiful house slash workspace. Yes, this portion right here
is my studio. This is pretty much where I review plans,
work every day. Um, if you were here on a
regular day, which I guess it is, but it would
be you know, he would have my my laptop, a
(00:47):
couple of iPads. We usually have some plans laid out
that we're working on, paint chips, all that fun stuff.
So this is where I work when I am not
out on the field, and then through those hours is
the rest of my personal house. So that's been pretty
nice to have such a beautiful place to create every day.
So I've been lucky enough to get to know you
(01:09):
over the past few weeks. And you're obviously okay, you're
a designer. For anyone who doesn't know, mari Jo is
the head designer, um founder all the stuff with j
f Y Designs, which is one of the most beautiful
I don't even know the correct words to say, but like,
you just designed the most gorgeous houses in Nashville. How
would you describe your If you had to say like
(01:31):
a sentence about what you do, what would you say? Um? Well,
thank you, thank you, Yes, you were so sweet to
say that. Um. If I had to kind of say
or company philosophy and in in in short, I would
probably say that what we strive to do is something
that's very fresh but also very timeless. But most of all,
(01:55):
we really want to create houses that will reflect that
particular client. I refuse to just do the same thing
over and over. I don't ever want to repeat something
because it turned out great. Constantly want to push the
envelope and let things be a one of a kind.
Yes exactly. Sometimes client will bring me something and say, oh,
I loved what you did here. I want this for
(02:16):
my house, and I just have to tell them no, no,
let's come up with something that's going to be equally
as great. But that's just for you. I never want
my clients to walk into another home and see something
that they love in their own house and feel like, oh,
I thought I thought that was my house, and now
you see it every whe else. So that is something
that I think is a little unique to us because
(02:38):
it is it's harder. It's harder to come up with
something new all the time. It frustrates the builders that
I work with. They're all just this, it worked, yes,
exactly why why you know? But why make easy hard
or whatever? They say. Um, but I just I think
that's the key to our success is that people come
to us knowing that it's not a formula. They're going
(03:00):
to get something that feels like them and that is special.
So something that I found really amazing about you when
because you're helping us, well not helping us, you are
designing our bedroom, which I feel so lucky to have
you design our bedroom. It's like because we can walk
in have this safe, peace safe peaceful spot that makes
(03:21):
me feel just relaxed and comfortable. And so, but what
I loved about you when you walked into our house,
you immediately I could just see your brain going off
like a computer, like every single room in the house
because we were still moving in and everything is still
kind of like we're working all that, Like your brain
just immediately has a vision in whatever room you walk in,
Like we walked into Michael Studio and like it just
(03:42):
like you couldn't even help it. It was just flowing
out of you, all of the thoughts that you had
for like where to hang pictures, what kind of furniture
to use, how to like place the furniture, what would
look great at a different wall color? Like is that?
I'm sure it's a blessing and a curse when you
walk into spaces. Is your brain just like overloaded it
how you see it as it needs to be? It's
(04:03):
it pretty much is, and it's one of my I'd
say it's one of my strength, but it is a
little bit of a curse, like you said, because every
my schedule is always so busy, and very often I'll
go meet a client thinking, oh, we'll start on this
in a couple of months, because you know, I have
to concentrate on these other jobs. And then the minute
(04:24):
I enter and I see the space and I meet
the people, I get inspired. I can see what I
envision it to look like when it's done. And then
I'll literally come home and be and can't stop thinking
about it, and we'll start to put ideas and mood
boards together almost instantly. Um. So I have to force
myself sometimes to think Okay, the ideas will still be
(04:47):
there two months from now, Like I told them, slow down,
finish these other you feel like sometimes if you don't
catch the idea right then it might leave you. Like
you have to just like put it down on paper
or put it in a mood board because if you
don't grab it, like maybe it'll go away. Yeah, oh absolutely. Um.
For a while, actually had like before cell phones, I
had a little mini recorder on my bedside table because
(05:07):
I literally would dream about projects and I would wake
up in the middle of the night knowing that if
I didn't, as you say, write it down in the morning,
I may not remember. So I would literally record, please
remember that you thought about this gorgeous green wall to
do and you know whatever you better can't forget. Yes,
(05:28):
So I do do that all the time, and my
my kids get so frustrated, not so much now that
they're older because they get it. But whenever we travel
or even just go out to dinner or stay at
a great boutique hotel, all ideas, I see things and
I go up to them and I touched them to
see what material they've used, especially in foreign countries or
(05:50):
even like we'll get on the floor and see how
they did this, and take photos and we'll get off
the floor. We're a five star hotel pretty much. That yes,
backt like, that's exactly right, and but it's what inspires
me and and that's how you get fresh ideas. Um.
I can show you something upstairs in my daughter's room
(06:10):
that was an entire wall in this great little um
Soho restaurant that Chloe and I went two years ago.
And the minute I saw that wall, I thought, I
can do something so cool inspired by this. I'm not
never talking about taking it and copying it, but we're
all inspired by everything. But being inspired, yes, by something
(06:31):
that speaks to you and then having it in the
back of your mind and when the right room, the
right opportunity presents yourself. That's exactly back to what you
were saying. I'll walk in a room and think, oh
my gosh, this is the perfect setup, in place and
mood to use this inspiration, and then you can build
a whole room around it and you can't even see
(06:53):
the inspiration anymore, but it's really what started the whole thing,
if that makes any sense. So when okay, so like
you saw that room and Soho did you immediately know
you wanted to use it for your daughter's room. Or
do you sometimes just see things that inspire you and
you like create a mood board or you write it
down and just like tuck it away and you wait
for that moment to show up, or you're like, that's
where I'm gonna put that inspiration, like the inspired you're
(07:14):
you're absolutely correct, That's that's why I save all of
those photos. I have tons of banks of photos from travel,
sometimes even from the scenery, like certain colors one time
on the trip to Nevada kind of inspired a whole
scheme of actually something a little bit like what you're wearing,
those great earthy tones and um. In that case, interestingly enough,
(07:36):
we were redoing Chloe's room, and because it was the
memory that we had together this great little meal in
this little Soho restaurant, actually did build something for her
room inspired by that one room, by that one wall
in that restaurant. UM, and it was right for her
at that time. UM. But but normally it is more
(07:57):
tucked away for and as a matter of fact, a
lot of things in this house that we built about
the year ago now is inspired by a lot of
our travels and walls and floors that I touched and
figured out, how did they do that? And how can
that inspire? You know, It's just it's fun to live
(08:17):
in a space that you know exactly. And very often
people will collect art in that or you know, photos
on their walls that create personal memories. But further than that,
you can even have a home that the you know,
the construction is even inspired by your own story, if
(08:38):
that makes sense. So I love that. So you have
taken very many risks in your life. I very much
admire you for a lot of reasons. One, you are
so just. I looked on your resume to the word
you use is bold, and I like think that to
describe yourself that it's so treat You're such a bold woman.
(08:59):
You're not afraid to stand in your space, to be
a mom, to be a wife, to be a designer.
You moved from Canada to here. You pursued. You didn't
start off necessarily in design. You were like editor in
chief of a magazine. And like you've had all these
past lives that you have like gone full force into
and you let yourself evolve unapologetically along the way, which
(09:22):
I think is so inspiring because I feel like, especially
for women, sometimes we feel afraid to take risk, or
we feel like we're not worthy enough to like do
all of these things, or it's a man's world and
it's harder to be a woman, and you you just
like bust through those boundaries. How did you get that mentality?
How did you get that bravery? Has it just been
(09:42):
who you have always been your whole life? Just to
be like, this is what I feel passionate about. I'm
going to do this because I know I'm capable. Like
where did that mentality come from? Honestly, I think, Um,
where it came from is definitely from just the way
my parents raised me. My mom was a very bold woman.
She was very strong and brave and never backed out
(10:05):
of anything. She worked always, Um and all the women
in my life have always worked, and several of them
are very creative and have had to reinvent themselves due
to the phases in life that are inherent to being
a woman. So you know, during the period of having
(10:25):
young children they may have to adapt a little bit
work part time. But in Quebec, where I am originally from, um,
women all work. It's really important. It's you know, they
have their own identity, they have their own career. Um.
It is driven a little bit by the economy, but
it's you know, by the type of economy. But it's
also a very cultural thing. And there's no like shame
(10:48):
in that, because I feel like sometimes women in the
United States are shamed, like you get the mom guilt.
If you work, you get mom guilt for not being home.
But if you don't work, you get mom guilt for
you know. It's just like there's like all this guilt fronto.
But I don't feel like you grew up with that existing.
I did. I did not, and I will say it
really challenged me. So the way that we ended up
(11:10):
in the US was very interesting. My husband at the
time worked for a Canadian company called nortel Um that
had a really large presence in the US but was Canadian.
So they had huge offices in Dallas. And this other
Canadian guy that we knew from Toronto really loved him,
you know, felt like he was a great up and
(11:30):
coming guy, and UM offered him a job in Dallas.
And our son, Julian, at the time, was six months old.
So the timing of that move being that I was
already staying home for maternity leave at that time made
it a little more appealing because it allowed me to,
(11:51):
without guilt, stay home a little longer and enjoy him
as a true baby. Um. So that had a lot
to do with are you know, choosing to move the
US because he was sponsored by Nortel had a work visa,
but I didn't that it meant that I did not
have a work visa and I couldn't wait work while
(12:12):
I was there. Um, and it kind of just took
the pressure out for a minute, It sure did. And
it was at first it was sort of a plan
for two years. Um, well then it became five years.
And after two years of staying home, well basically we
kind of decided, you know what, let's have Chloe, my daughter,
(12:33):
um a little sooner than we might have normally, just
because I was home already with the toddler, not allowed
to work, you know officially, So you know, it's just
it just made it just made sense. So I got
pregnant with Chloe, had Chloe enjoyed again the part of
you know, really her as a little baby, and even
(12:56):
the toddler. But I will say that the whole time,
there was a whole lot of adaptation because it's I
will this is almost a whole other subject. But I
will say that one thing that I've learned to admire
in the US, and I learned that in those years
in Dallas is such a strong sense of community. And
(13:18):
so the women in our neighborhood had all these little
play dates and ways to support themselves. They had this
little ticket thing where you would get five tickets and
you could exchange with the neighbor with kids about the
same age. You would watch theirs while they went to
get their haircut, and then you know, you would return
the favor and do the same for them. I mean,
(13:42):
I've never heard of anything like this where I'm from. Um,
really rallying together and saying, let me help you out,
and so you can take care of yourself and have
a little like like a little me time because it's
so easy to lose yourself and kids. Yes, so that
was a lifesaver. The play groups such a great way
to get to get there with other adults while my
husband traveled. And but for me, the challenge was, you know,
(14:06):
trying to feel fulfilled with just the talk about our
child's development and what they're doing. You know, women in
that stage of life tend to mainly talk about their kids.
And being in that phase of life, I can attest
to that. I feel like I am talking to my
friends all the time about what are you feeding your kid?
What's going on with your kid? Like where you can
(14:27):
send your kid to preschool? Like all these this is
so many questions you have, baby, baby, baby, baby, But
sometimes you're like, can we talk about anything else? Exactly
like that part of you know, I love to read,
and I used to work full time and had a
very challenging, exciting job with you know, deadlines that created
all this. Sometimes we work twenty four hours NonStop to
(14:49):
meet a deadline. Yes, adrenaline, Holy smoke, I missed that
so badly. Um So, I found a couple of friends
who like to read, where we would chat about books
and other things then, but inevitably, I feel like it
always went back to the kids. And that's a little
bit what. So I basically decorated Julian and Chloe's nursery
(15:13):
to death because anytime they were napping or they were
at a little play date without me. Um I painted
all of Julian's hand painted dumb which I've never done
that before. It took hours, but it just took my
mind off of everything and allowed me to not be
a mom and a creative outlet just for you if
(15:34):
we're just a couple of hours a day, or you know,
sometimes a couple of hours a week even but those
little moments just made me feel myself again. And and
then a friend asked me, oh my god, can you
help me do my little girl's room? And then another
friend would see that look, and that is literally how
it got started, with just other friends seeing a talent
(15:58):
that I had um and asking me to help them.
And it really just started with me helping them for
free because I didn't have a work visa, and it
was just I was happy to do it. I just
wanted to do something that made me feel at the
end of the day, I've accomplished something else than changing
diapers and going to the park. I know how important
(16:18):
that is. I do not, and I will always cherish
that I was privileged enough to be able to take
that time, you know, at home, and have the means
to do that. But once they started preschool and I
had a little time on my hand, for me, staying
home doing that time felt unproductive. It just it was
(16:41):
my window to be able to come up with, Okay,
what's my next challenge. And I'll tell you a little story.
One time. I forget if it was Chloe or Julian,
but was very colloquy and I just couldn't, you know,
couldn't put them down. They just I'm I'm fairly certain
it was Chloe, and she was in the little baby
(17:02):
born and I'm bouncing her around and trying to And
that day, I think I called my husband at work
fifteen times, begging him to come home, and you know,
you need to come and to take me a break.
I do what I'm gonna do. I'm desperate. I'm crying
to sitting on the floor with her, literally bawling, stop crying,
and you just and so many did come home at
(17:24):
the end of the day, but he, you know, was
also working, busting is but at work, and you know,
a lot of pressure on him. Those are intense years
when you have kids and you're working. It's intense, they are.
And he's super supportive, best dad ever helped in the house,
cannot complain. So I'm in the best circumstances, but even
(17:46):
then it's hard. And that day he basically sat me
down and said, I love you, but like, who who
are you now? Like I married the strong chief veederate
of a magazine. He's edited woman who worked you know who,
who is so interesting and has an opinion on everything,
(18:08):
and and it's so um like fiercely independent. And now
you're calling me begging me to come home. It's probably
a wild shift. And I can totally relate to you,
because you just feel it's not that you're broken down
in a bad way. You love these kids so much,
you love that you're, like you said, privileged enough to
(18:28):
be there raised him. But you're also like it's like
a rebirth of yourself when you have kids, and like,
all of a sudden, you were this woman who was
doing these incredible things, and now you're with the baby
who wants stop crying. And that's your existence, your identity.
And it's a real big mind shock because men a
lot of the times just keep going on. They keep
going to work. Of course they love their kids, of
(18:49):
course they're great fathers, all that stuff, but they just
like continue on. It's always falls for the most part,
on the woman. And I feel like so many women
have this identity, this moment of who am I after kids? Like,
how do I combine this full woman, the woman who
was the full the powerful woman, intense like an an
(19:10):
independent before kids but still wants to be a great mom,
Like how do you combined it? So you were at
that moment I was, and and him telling me that
basically saying like this is not the person that he
wasn't telling me he wasn't loving me anymore, but he
was saying, you know, you need to take time to
find you need to find who you are again, because
(19:32):
this is not you. This is not the Mariso that
I know and love, and I get how hard it is,
but we're gonna have to find a way to make
it work because I can't come you know, I can't
come home every time that um And so that was
the you know it It did make me think of Okay,
I I don't think that it can fulfill me completely
(19:56):
to just be a stay at home mom. And at
that point, we you were making the decision of we're
gonna actually stay in Dallas for we don't even know
how long, like he just you know, chose to to
stay in that role. We're not going back to Quebec
where we're from. So I'm not going back to my magazine.
You know, this is my life now. So that is
(20:19):
pretty much when I decided to you know, we we
applied for citizenship. It took years to get but meanwhile
we got a green card, I gotta work permit. I
was able to start charging for the things that I
was doing for free for for friends. And I also
found and that one I found out that through going
(20:40):
through that struggle, another one of my friend who actually
felt the same exact way but had never really said either.
So she missed working and just was starting and was
also very um creative and not willing to get her
hands dirty and do pretty much anything. She was willing
to get her as reading. Yeah. Yeah, So we decided
(21:03):
to to work together. So she she came on board
with me because with two people, you know when I
mean at that point, we were working maybe four hours
in a day max. You know how it is you
dropped them off at at the little Don't give a
driven woman four hours because she'll get a lot done.
That's exactly what happened. Next thing we know, we were
working on the weekends sometimes when our husbands were home
(21:24):
because we were so excited about our little project. I
probably felt invigorated and you started feeling like yourself again.
And but that's what I love about you, Rigo, is like,
here you are in a new country with two babies,
not allowed to work. Literally you're legally not allowed to
work in the beginning. But then you started making adjustments.
You took that leap of faith. You've got you you
(21:45):
you sat down with your husband, you took a hard
look at yourself and said what fulfills me? And then
you move into your career that you're like brand new
at You have a skill for it, but you just
start because you're like, I can good at this, I
love this. I'm just going to move forward in this
career in a new country, like all new, fearless. That's amazing,
(22:06):
that's amazing. So many people are scared to do that,
especially women who feel stuck and feel like they don't
know how to move forward. You just made the way,
and I think that's encouraging for women to hear that
you can just make the way. Absolutely. I mean, if
you find a niche, something you're good at. I keep
reading these stories of women adapting during this pandemic. Women
(22:26):
like you said, have gotten the brunt of this in
the pandemic with kids and homeschooling. And yes, I read this.
I've read this article this week about this woman in
New York who literally was making cookies for friends just
like as a little making them happy, brighten them up
their day because she's a good baker. And she now
has decided to quit her job. She is making something
(22:49):
crazy like three thousand cookies. Everyone is fighting for her cookies.
She has hired these delivery people who are hand delivering
through the city, and she is literally kind of starting
what she now sees was always her passion in her dream,
by accident discover that baking, which was always something that
(23:10):
made her happy, could be an actual career for her
and something that turns into a business for her. And
I really do believe that when you are passionate about
something and willing to work at it because it is
hard work. And like you said, I think the key
is adapt adaptability. Um, you know, it didn't stay the same. Um.
(23:33):
I grew my business with my children. So at first
I could only do so much, only take so much.
But then they started actual elementary school and middle school
and high school, and so I literally grew my business
as the time allowed. It more because I still was
not willing though, um, you know, to miss out on
(23:55):
being their mother, Like I was Chloe's first soccer coach
when she was three years old with her little team,
and and I don't think I've ever missed one of
their soccer games for work. I they'll call me out
on this if I did, I might have been on
the phone a few times on the sideline not lying
about that if there's an emergency, right, But I was there.
(24:16):
I was present. Quality over quantitie like teary, and I
just feel I really, I'm so emotional all the time.
I feel like it's so hard for women. And I
feel like we're in a shift in the world where
women are truly like empowerment is happening. Women are being
recognized for their skills, and it's like incurage. Women are
being encouraged to pursue their dreams and work hard. But
(24:38):
it's also so really hard. We're in a shift where
it's happening. It's not like you just wake up and it's, Oh,
I'm just gonna be a badass and have this awesome
job and then raise these kids and not have a struggle.
Like it's just it's just a struggle and for you
to figure out how to make it work for you
and to let it flow. You didn't rush the process.
You let it evolve. And I feel like that's something
(24:59):
that hearing you talk about is really amazing. That you
just trusted the process and you let it be the process.
You didn't try to rush it. It seems you can't
force it too much, correct, not if you're trying to
have it all. And and that is I mean, I
love what you just said, and it makes me happy
to to see all the progress. It does make me
(25:20):
sad that I feel like women are definitely getting set
back by this pandemic more than anybody else, women of
all color, in all countries. Um, we work so hard
to to you know, to get where we are, and
now I feel like we're being set back. But I
do think that's so much changes you know are happening. Um.
(25:41):
But I think inherently emotionally, I mean, because we are
the one that physically, you know, carry these babies, deliver them.
That whole natural you know, women maternal instinct I think
is hard to deny. Um. I think that we will
always bear the brunt of parenthood more than men. Whether
(26:07):
it's I mean, I think physically and emotionally, and so
I do think that we're always going to have a
little bit of a struggle with balance, with guilt. When
you try to do it all, you sometimes feel there
are moments where you feel like you're not doing any
of it well. And I like every woman, especially mom,
(26:29):
feels that for sure. It so hard to not compare.
I think we all have that friend who's the perfect mom.
Especially on Instagram these days, you see like I see
these like influencer moms who are like they wake up
and they look perfect. Everything is perfect from their hair
to their clothes, and they make the perfect dinner. And
then they have their kids like in all their perfect obbits,
and they're going to the perfect school. And then they're
(26:50):
also like running a business and doing all this stuff
and they're happy, and then they're like kissing their husband
in life is great. I'm like, where's your mountdown? I'm
having mountdowns. I wish we were showing more of the
maildowns because I guarantee you they're having those mail but
and and I think it's you got to show that.
I mean, I literally found my first partner in business
(27:11):
kind of while having a mailtdown bending about it because
how I missed having another adult woman that I could
really I mean, we were on such She was very conservative,
of course, I'm from you know, the French part of
the Canada, which is very open and socially liberal, and
(27:31):
we would have the most interesting debates while we worked.
We still to this day have tremendous respect for each other,
but we had these adult, you know, debates for those
four hours of on all subjects. I learned so much,
um culturally about the US just chatting with her, and
I just I would get home, well, I would go
(27:54):
pick up my children and come home and then take
them to the park and too soccer practice and all
these activities, feeling rejuvenated and feeling like my brain had
worked that day in so many ways, you know, because
when you associate yourself with like minded people, and I
mean that by another woman who wants to go out
(28:15):
there and feel like she's doing something for others and
for herself, because it could be volunteering, it could be
whatever makes you happy, right, finding that thing that makes
you feel alive as yourself. And I truly believe that
that made me a better mom. I think that if
I fought my nature how I'm wired, and just thought
(28:38):
I need to toughen up. They're all doing this, why
can't I do this. I'll do the It just wasn't
my path. I would have been miserable, So then I
might be divorced by now because I wouldn't have been
my true self and would have ended up. You know,
complaining all the time, becoming more and more unhappy, resentful,
can lead to depression. You know, we all need to
(28:59):
have our own identa at ease. So it's truly for me,
it made me a better mom. My kids would sometimes
make jokes, you know, why their lunches weren't nearly as
nice looking or if you know, sometimes lunch was five
dollars instead of the perfect little binto box that their
friends had. But they're fed and their loved. They're fed
(29:20):
and they're loved. And I will say, I mean after
school it was all about them. Take them to the museum,
read with them, challenge them. Um, but I see Chloe now,
who's going to start law school in the fall, And
I know why am I crying? I Like, it's just
like craziest, like you probably are so proud to see
(29:42):
that you have raised this especially woman obviously raised a
great young man too, but an independent woman who feels
empowered to like pursue herself. Well, I'll send you this
little link because, um, you know, she's on the soccer
team at her university league at her university, Lehigh UM.
And they did this whole little segment this month on
(30:04):
basically women empowering change feminism, like what can women do
to advance help advance other women? And it had to
do they had to basically speak to why I'm choosing
this career and how I'm hoping to entice change. So
(30:24):
she had to do a whole little segment and think about,
you know, okay, I'm choosing to go study law, why
am I doing this? And how can I? And clothes
always been very interested in in um, women's right to
begin with. So that's kind of her dream is to
help fight for women and advance women right in law
(30:45):
using the law. UM. And it just and and you
know she has now come around to saying things like,
you know that seeing a strong role model model, someone
who showed her that you know, you can work. Obviously,
I was very different from the rest of her friend's
(31:05):
mother's who she would come home and be like, well,
I can't dinner beat this perfect? And you know, and
but I don't even try to cook. I gave it.
I literally like, I'm like, cooking is off my table.
I'm not doing it well. And who's to say that
it's your job? And I say that all the time,
like why is it just like the woman's role? Like
Michael was a great cook and he just sort of
(31:25):
took that over and I'm like, you're the cook and
he loves it and it's great. Why does a woman
have to do that? It's a partnership, right, you decided
to create an entity together, and who's to say that
you have to cook because you're the woman? And I
totally refused to I personally love to cook. It's sort
of beautic for me, and it is, I think and
(31:46):
see for Michael, I bet he's the same thing. Oh
he loves it. It's so creative for him. To me,
it's just a chore. So interestingly, my mother was the
same way. So my dad was always the one to
cook most because my mom felt the same way. To
her was another chore and we made fun of what
she cooked because she just did it like a role.
You know, she just did it to get it done,
(32:07):
whereas my dad would create these great meals or be
you know, and he was the creator in the couple,
and so it it's a partnership, it should be. My
parents very much had a were a team and there's
no set role. As my my father often was the
one to clean most too, just for some weird reason.
(32:29):
He found that kind of peaceful. And you know, and
my my mom loved um gardening. She would much rather
spend three hours digging dirt and doing stuff outside. That's
how she would relax. My dad actually enjoyed that also,
But you know, they just did everything together. There was
no set role. And I do think that that's the
(32:50):
strength of French Canadian culture that I'm glad I have
even in my new life here in the US um
because here too, like I was speaking of that community,
and there's so many great things that you know, that
are inherent to this culture that I have now that
(33:11):
we've integrated into our lives, and I think this, you know,
it's such a gift. I sometimes I'm so torn with
sort of having this double right, how do you u identity?
You've had such a huge life as a French Canadian
but you also have a huge life as an American.
How do you I've really learned to try to cherish
(33:32):
like the best of both, and because now I feel
like I see more critically the other side what Canada
and Quebec in particular might not do so well. And
when I'm there and we chat with family and and
talk about how they view the US, you know, well,
I'll often feel obligated to defend the US and be like,
(33:54):
it's not like that at all. Those are preconceptions. This
is how it is, and here are some strengths of
And I find myself doing the same thing here defending
some of you know, people will be like, oh, Canada,
you guys, you know, and and it's so funny, but
it's really made me kind of embrace that whole by
culturalism of you know, take the best of both. And
(34:17):
with our kids, who really grew up here mainly I
think in Nashville. I mean, Julian was in first grade
when we moved here. Um, they are quite southern, and
Julian's very much a gentleman. He opens doors, they say
ma'am sir, which is something that is so different than
from how we grew up. Um, it's you know, I
(34:39):
love that they have that. I love that they have
the open mind of being a little more. I'm not
sure how to say that, but because they've been exposed
to other ways, they just have a very open mind
about different culture ways to live. Yes, you don't just
have to be in one particular culture, like you can
be a Southern, grow up Southern, but you can also
(35:02):
appreciate and identify with other ways to live. It doesn't
have to be one way, yes, and I it was
interesting for me to watch them struggle with that a
little bit in school. Um, like, who am I? How
do I fit in with? My parents are not the
same as her parents? And you know we eat differently.
We you know, I grew I cook French a lot still,
(35:23):
but when when we first got here, I mainly cooked
what I knew, right and so and my kids would
be like, oh, Mom, you know so and so is
coming over, Fidget, please don't cook anything weird. Please make
a hot dog and hamburgers and French fries. You're like, no,
but this is so much better, But they would be like, no,
it's not. To this day, Chloe will ask me to
(35:43):
make her grilled cheese with like She's like, please use
like white bread and a yellow slice, because she would
ask for a grilled cheese while during a play date,
and I would use the leftover baguette and I would
have some and not throw a little brie like OWT
would mix like all these leftover cheeses and they would
be like, what is this sort? It's heaven on earth
(36:06):
and I wish I could eat that. But yeah we
um she So you know, I I definitely watched them
sort of have to learn to juggle and but now
I look at the result and I feel like they
have the best of both. You know, they're not perfect,
I'm not saying that, but they have a very interesting
approach and they really have the best of the South
(36:29):
a little bit, which is so interesting. What are some
of your favorite traits that you have that you got
from being French Canadian. Um definitely, uh, well, bold would
be one. I think that French Canadian period are very um,
(36:51):
strong minded, opinionated. You know, it's the Latin side of
the blood like French Italian mixed sort of. Um of
just being pretty much very much who you are, very
authentic and not embarrassed about it. That's awesome. Um not
(37:12):
scared to express your opinion and your views share them
with others. I've learned to be um. That is something
that I've learned here from the stuff of being more
gracious about it and standing back and listening more. My
opinion is not the only opinion that matters. That's what
you've learned from being here. Yes, it is, because when
(37:33):
you live in a place where everyone sort of essentially
feels the same, it's so easy to start thinking that's
how it should be. But no, it's not how it
should be. That's how it is here. Who knows how
it should be? Right, That's what we all have to
work on. Okay, So that's interesting. So being here, you've
actually learned to like step back and listen a little
more for sure, and also appreciate other opinions that are
(37:56):
so different from mine sometimes but just to learn from
them and and also, um, grow from that, you know,
learn to see the other side. And that teaches you
to sort of go over to the other side a
little bit in a way, because you're seeing all these people.
We have so many friends who respect that we respect
(38:17):
and love. We love their families, we love their children
and how they raise them. And the great kids that
they've raised also, and so there's so much to learn
from that, you know, to respect other people's opinion, I
would definitely say that I was a little more you know,
I know, I know on that subject um. And it's
(38:41):
you know, when we go home, that is literally what happens.
We we cook for hours, we drink for hours, and
then we argue about everything for hours. But it's the
and we are when I say we argue, we kind
of feel we very much have the same opinion. Very
often it's almost more of a playing devil's advocate. Like
(39:03):
we love to debate so much that we create debates
by like with fake arguments to see what the other
will say. It's like the sport of arguing is very
French Canadian. And one of the reasons my daughter would
probably tell you that she's lawyer. Yes, it's so in her.
It's like if you say go this way, she will
(39:25):
be like, but but what about this little path that
looks interesting? You know, there's a good point to that.
Why not? Yeah, And that's definitely how I am to
just you know, just not the way that you say
is not necessarily what I'm going to accept, you know,
And that has to do with design too. I it,
but I appreciate that because you're not just going to
take this standard answer. You want to know why, and
(39:48):
then you want to know why is it not another way?
I can't we explore this other way exactly, and then
if the original way was truly the best way, at
least you explored every other option to know that. Yes,
but that is a lot of what I learned here
with some friends who just are, um, it's just too
to respect the fact that it's okay to realize that
(40:08):
you're wrong and to admit it and to have heard
the argument or the other way and say, you know what,
I've tried it, but you're right, this was better. There's
something really beautiful about that to say, like we can
actually have a friendly debate and we can totally I
can push this issue a little bit or like pursue
a different option and then realize your option is right
and it doesn't have to be that I was like
(40:29):
this terrible person who said something wrong. I just wanted
to see what else is out there. And then to say,
like you said, Sam, sorry, like not I'm sorry, Like
you're right, you're right, you're absolutely absolutely I'm healthy when
I was eighteen years old. I think I thought that
having to say you're right or I'm wrong, it was
the most horrible thing in the world, you know. So
(40:52):
I still don't say it that often, but I think it.
I think it's an improvement. When did you know your
business was exploding? Like you went through all of this
life change and all of these feelings and all these
evolutions of yourself. When did you know I have arrived
as a designer and I am one of the top
designers in my field, and it is like, I am
(41:15):
I am here? When did you know that? And how
did you get there? Um? So, when we when when
we moved to Nashville from Dallas, it was another sort
of big having to reinvent yourself moment because Dallas is
a very unique market. People out there are a lot more,
um they're they're extremely social, they love to entertain, biggers
(41:39):
better and and people dressed and decorate differently than here.
Um So when and you know, it just meant that
I was losing that that existing clientele. So when Sylvan
you know, came home one day to say, I have
this incredible opportunity to move to Nashville, I you know,
I was like, oh, here we go again. I just
(42:02):
got my footing in Dallas. Yeah, I have to start over. Yeah.
But honestly, interestingly enough, it kind of happened the same way.
You know. We took the time to kind of settle
the kids in, find the schools, and I pretty much
designed the house to make it a home. We had
to buy it in two days. When we moved here.
(42:24):
The market was so hot. I had not even seen it,
so they had to literally he had to make an
offer because there was another offer behind it, and it
kept happening. So he I finally said, I trust you
will make it work. Just buy it. So he did
and we um. So I I concentrated on that probably
(42:45):
about for six months. And then again, um neighbors that
I had met who brought meals the way that people
here do in the South, which was so incredible, introduced themselves,
brought a cast role, were like, oh my gosh, what
is this place. It's so incredible. Um we we um.
(43:07):
I met these other ladies, they saw the house, asked
me to help them. Well, this time I was allowed
to work. I had a model that I knew sort
of how to recreate. I had to adapt to the
style of these homes and you know, uh, people here
a little more casual, and it's definitely more the true South.
There's an aesthetic like a classic Southern style here that
(43:28):
doesn't exist in Dallas. So learned that a little bit
through my first projects. And then I quickly met one
of my neighbor who again had just moved here, was
an extremely creative person. Her kids were actually just a
little older than mine, so she even had a little
more freedom. And she literally said, I love what you're doing.
(43:49):
I mean, I would love to work with you. And
her name is Julia Dunn. She's still one of my
dearest friend and so she was my first you know
part nor call her here. And we started. We did
foux finishes, we painted, you know, we we picked um
paint colors for houses. We did small furniture. That's sort
(44:11):
of how we got our foot in the door. And
it evolved into so much more. Started to work with builders.
Is it more word of mouth always always, because people
eat with their eyes, they see it and who did that? Correct?
And And honestly, you know communication, taking good care of
your clients, you have to listen to them and you
have to hold their hands when they panic. You can't
(44:34):
just be like, trust me, I know what I'm doing
and then let them to to you know, like not
sleep at night because a lot of money to design
a b innovator whatever you're doing the house. It is
it's such a trusting relationship like you have to have.
They put so much faith into you, and sometimes they
hardly know you most of the time. As a matter
of fact, right now, I'm doing entire houses remotely with
(44:58):
clients who will meet me when they moved been to
their beautiful new house that we will have built and
furnished fully. I mean, that's a huge, huge trust into
someone that you really do not know. So I um,
that's you know about I would say probably about almost
(45:20):
two years to ten years ago now is really when
we started to turn down business and having to choose
our project. When you can turn down business, yes, that
is like such an amazing feeling to know that, like
you actually can just say no, I'm I'm kind of
choosing I'm picking yes because at first, really, I you know,
(45:43):
I still have a hard time saying no. That might
be my biggest problem in business because once I see
if I agreed to see a project, I'm in trouble
because I usually because your mind explodes. They're so nice,
they need us so badly, even though we're I'm already working,
there is no more time. But you know, just got
to a place where I mean, the kids were still
(46:04):
relatively young. I didn't want to miss I Also, we
were starting to get asked to travel to different cities
to do houses in Florida or and I couldn't do that.
My husband already traveled. I was the one to pick
up the kids they come to soccer, and that you know,
I was perfectly happy with what I was doing. So
it was almost keeping the business on hold, like just
(46:27):
doing what we were doing, taking the perfect amount of
project to try to have a good you know, working
slash parents family life. And when they started to drive
is when I mean that that was a life changer
for my business because I could then take so much more.
And of course I also grew hiring more people help um.
(46:52):
But having employees is great and it's sort of we
operate in a way that it's like my second family
here now, you know, my I work with a lot
of my best friends and I feel so fortunate about
our relationship. But it's still more work. For me because
I want to make sure that everything we do reflects
(47:15):
my philosophy and who I am as an interior designer,
And so when other people are doing more work, it's
I still have my hand in that. So it's just
I've learned quickly that adding more help does not mean
that I'm working class. Yeah, it's not necessarily taking more
off your plate. No, correct, So very important I think
(47:35):
for women to which goes back to something important that
you said earlier, is just to be patient and sort
of trust. Then it made me sad to turn down
a restaurant, you know, while my kids were in middle school,
or but how great you could trust your instinct though,
to be like, you know what, it's actually, it's not
the time of my life for that, and I'm going
to turn it down because I want to be present
(47:55):
with my kids. But to know that and to be
able to have that guiding intuition, that's hard. You have
to know yourself well. You just have to know that
if those opportunities are there now, just they will come around,
and they'll come around even bigger and better, you know,
because you're not forcing it because you feel scared that
you're gonna lose it correct if you're good at what
you do, and yes, oh that's a good piece of advice.
(48:18):
You stay the course. It's all going to happen really
at the right time and in an even an even
better way. That is such a wise piece of advice,
because you have this carrot dangling in front of you
and you're like, oh, that's such a big opportunity for me.
I want to do this, but like it doesn't feel right,
it feels rushed, it feels stressful, it feels too much.
(48:38):
But if I turn it down, I'll never get something
like this again, so I have to say yes. And really,
then you end up suffering at the job. You end
up suffering being a mom. You end up suffering because
you knew your gut was telling you know, it's not
the time. It's trusting that process, which you are really
good at. Like you're really good at trusting the process,
and it's so hard to not compare yourself and like
see other women in the field. Are other people in
(48:59):
the field doing this or doing that? And you're like, gosh,
I should try to do that because I need to
like catch up or have more or whatever. But you
stayed the course and then look at you now, you know, well,
you know some of it. I'd love to say that
it's great wisdom, but it really was just, you know,
my husband traveled and he was gone most weeks before
the pandemic, and you know, I was the one home
(49:19):
who had to stop at four o'clock and pick up
the children and you know, take them to soccer. And
I didn't really have a choice. But I really did
learn to be at peace with that because, you know what,
I just kept thinking, I'm still so young. I am
just getting started. So when by the time they're in college, Yes,
I'll go do the houses in Florida, and I'll go
(49:41):
do the houses in l A. And I'll do a restaurant.
I'll do ten restaurants. I guess when I did this year.
I did a house in Florida, did a house in
l A. That is exactly what I'm doing. That's amazing.
I knew it would come at the right time. Absolutely,
And I'm not about to slow down. I mean, you know,
I love what I do. I wake up every morning
(50:01):
with new ideas and thinking about who am I meeting
today and what are we going to create? And so
you know, people ask me sometimes, don't you want to
slow down, like, and I'm speeding up. I am exactly,
I am just getting started. I just I love it.
I'm eating it up. What do you want to tell
a woman, a mom or just a woman in general,
(50:24):
who feels like she has all this creativity, who feels
like she has all this to offer the world, but
she feels stuck. She doesn't feel like she can get going,
she doesn't feel like she has a way to get
into her the career that she wants. She feels like
it could never happen for her. What do you want
to tell that woman? Wow, that is a tough question.
It is definitely don't be shy too. I think women
(50:46):
view things like that as a as a weakness. Um,
and like talk to your pack, talk to your people,
you know, because that's sort of I may have never
gone this path if I hadn't been talking to this
friend her name is Pat Rockney, who lives in Ohio. Now, um,
if we wouldn't have had that chat where she also
(51:08):
opened up and we realized we're feeling the same way
and decided to do this together. And you started in
your own home for no money, correct, you just started
a we found a way for it, correct, you want
to bake cakes for events, you want to cater, offer
a friend to do her shower or her right like
do it's at first like completely did it for free,
(51:30):
But I mean, it really is just put yourself out there,
you know, talk to other people about them, know what
your talent is, let them know what your talent is,
or even try to figure out that talent with them,
because you know, sometimes we just don't know. I've always
envied people like so my son have been saying that
he would go into medical school for years. He is
(51:53):
always new, he always sort of new, and now he's
in medical school and thank god, he adores it. He
loves it. He always knew that that was sort of
his path, and I was never that way. I'm interested
in so many things. I feel like people ask me sometimes,
you know, what would you do if you were to
do this all over again? Well, now that I know
(52:14):
what happens in my story, I do it all over again.
But you know, when I was twenty, if I, you know,
would choose a different major or something. I I mean,
I don't even know what to tell you. I would
love to be a vet because I'm crazy about animals.
I would love to be a chef because I love
to cook, and I think, oh my gosh when I
(52:34):
look at women's chef they're such badasses. Yes, um, there's
so many things that I feel like I could be
interested in pursuing. It kind of happened a little bit
by accident, but it's because I tried, and I put
myself out there and he fought. I fought for it
correct and then you know, don't be scared too. I
(52:55):
we went and met a builder and basically said, we
can do your model so much better than whoever is
doing that. You've never done one before. Your house is
so well built, but you're not showing it. Well, let
us will do it for you. We'll show you what
we can do. You know, you just put yourself out
there immediately with never having really done it before. So
(53:15):
just cost yourself, yes, be confident, yes, and take those
risks and walk into it confidently. Maybe you don't have
as much experience as someone, but you know you have
what it takes, and you know you have the determination
and drive to do it. So just put I love
that put yourself in those situations. And I love that
you said start with your people, let them know what
you love and then try to find little opportunities to
(53:38):
showcase that Exactly, that's amazing. Exactly, that's amazing. So I
always wrap up with leave your Light. Obviously, this whole
podcast has been super inspiring. What do you want people
to know? What? What do you want people to know?
Like when you like, if you're like speaking to a
crowd of women people, whatever, what do you want them
to know about life? Wow? That is just very broad question. Yeah,
(54:05):
just a little easy one to end with. Um. I
mean I I think that when I look at my
daughter's generation, which is probably not too far from your generation,
but when I look at young women following us and
how they seem to put so much value into balance
(54:29):
and really not being scared of pursuing their passion maybe
over monetary things. Um, I have so much respect for that.
I do. I'm far from believing that they will not
be successful because they don't care as much about money.
I think that a lot of times I feel like
(54:50):
they're more interested in the experiences and and in what
life will bring them and what they can do for
the world. And again it goes back to passion, like
if go and do what you're truly passionate about because
if you are if you do have that passion and
you're willing to work hard at it, and I don't
(55:13):
mean working hard in the sense of not having a
life and working seven Um, you're gonna be successful and
you will have an impact on the people the world
around you. Um. I find that so inspiring because I
do think that our generation was a little more driven by,
you know, get into the rat race. You know, you
(55:34):
can make money, Go and work in a corporation or
a big company and work as much as you can
in so many hours so that you can get a
promotion as fast as you can and go up and
up and up. And I think that a lot of
children have watched their their parents work so hard and
are sort of thinking that's not, like, that's not what
(55:54):
I want and not have soul in my career. Yes, yes,
And but then then the parent in me wants to say,
but I mean, you love going to on ski trips,
and you loved going to you gotta make that money too,
if you're gonna need a little money. But I think
it's great to sort of let them like, you know,
when you're young and your idealists, and it's great to
(56:16):
to see just have faith in what that might lead to,
because I don't. I think that they're not saying they
don't want to work hard. They're just saying that they're
basing their decision on something different than maybe we did. Um,
that makes sense a lot of sense. Working more for
soul and not money and the money will come. It's
really what they believe, correct, Like if they if you're
(56:38):
pursue your passion, pursue what's in your heart, the money
will follow. Correct, not leading for them not working for
the money. Correct. And I mean I honestly that's sort
of how I started, and even nowadays, I think what
the projects that I choose are thoroughly more motivated by
how interesting the experience that it might bring us, rather
(57:00):
than solely a monetary decision, because ultimately we're not out
there to just crank out that many You know, I
do this because I love what I do. I love
that I have the opportunity of to change people's life
in a very small way, but to give them a home, yes,
where they feel, as you said, say they come home
(57:21):
and it feels safe and it's a heaven heaven that
where they can relax, and especially right now you know him.
Home has proven to be more important than ever. It
doesn't matter how small or big it is, so so
that to me, that is my biggest reward is when
a client you know, walks in and it's done, and
(57:44):
sometimes they cry, which is so great. Sometimes they jump
up and down, but just like the and and they'll
write us to thank you. Note that says, you know,
it was just the house. It was just it was
just walls, and now it's a home and we love
it so much and we're so happy here. Man, it's
just yeah, that's ultimately really why we do this. That's amazing, Rigo,
(58:06):
you're incredible. This is such an amazing interview. Wasn't too scary,
was it a little bit? But you made me very comfortable.
You are so comfortable and great at this. And what
a great idea, what a great, great initiative. I mean,
that speaks exactly to what we just talked about. Well, aparent,
I mean the thought that you're trying to empower women
through sharing our experiences. Um, I feel that way. I
(58:30):
want to show case women who are doing amazing things
and to show other women that, like, it's not really
easy for any woman, but you can still do it
like your journey. If someone might look at you on
Instagram or in an article or something and think, God,
how did she get all that? That's amazing? How did
she get to this place? But really, you hear your story.
It's a journey. It's been a ride for you. It's
(58:51):
been some highs and lows. And I think every woman
especially needs to know that that there isn't this one
person who's just had it so easy. It's just you
have to get into that journey and like, trust it
and it's gonna be good. It's gonna be bad, but
don't feel upset if you're lost for a moment, because
we all are lost. We are and we grow the
It sounds so cliche, but we do grow from all
(59:11):
of that. I mean, there are so many meltdowns, and
there have been projects where people walk in and they go, oh,
this is not what I expected. And then you just
have to adjust and think how can we make you happy?
What can you do? You know, it's their home and
so it's not always rosy. I certainly didn't mean to
make it sound that way, but you never give up.
(59:33):
You adjust, You turn around and you think how can
I fix that? And that's even exciting. Challenges are exciting
to me and you just yeah, no, women needs to
back down or be scared of anything. We're all so strong.
We just have to to, you know, find out what
we are good at and what we It's not always
as easy for us to find that. I agree. We
(59:55):
all have something that we're so good at and we
all can. We just have to find it. Said to
start with curiosity and then start pursuing it however you can,
and just let it evolve, just like you have with
your story, and then who knows, maybe one day you're
one of the best designers in Nashville, Tennessee, like you, Marigo,
because you trusted your curiosity and your journey and you
fought for it and you wrote it out. It's I mean,
(01:00:16):
it's inspiring. It's so inspiring. Thank you so much. This
was such a fun chat, and I cannot wait for
you to see your own bedroom. I know, I know
it will be so fun for You're the best, and
thank you so much for joining me. I'm just so
honored to have you as a guest, as a person
that I admire in my life, and you're designing my room.
It's really a privilege to know you and to have
(01:00:37):
this conversation, so thank you for joining me, Thank you Bye,
Hi, Carolin, She's a queen and talking. She's getting really
not afraid to feel it's so so just let it flow.
No one can do with caral is sounds carolus sounds
(00:27):
pretty thrilled to be here with you, Marie Jo and
your beautiful house slash workspace. Yes, this portion right here
is my studio. This is pretty much where I review plans,
work every day. Um, if you were here on a
regular day, which I guess it is, but it would
be you know, he would have my my laptop, a
(00:47):
couple of iPads. We usually have some plans laid out
that we're working on, paint chips, all that fun stuff.
So this is where I work when I am not
out on the field, and then through those hours is
the rest of my personal house. So that's been pretty
nice to have such a beautiful place to create every day.
So I've been lucky enough to get to know you
(01:09):
over the past few weeks. And you're obviously okay, you're
a designer. For anyone who doesn't know, mari Jo is
the head designer, um founder all the stuff with j
f Y Designs, which is one of the most beautiful
I don't even know the correct words to say, but like,
you just designed the most gorgeous houses in Nashville. How
would you describe your If you had to say like
(01:31):
a sentence about what you do, what would you say? Um? Well,
thank you, thank you, Yes, you were so sweet to
say that. Um. If I had to kind of say
or company philosophy and in in in short, I would
probably say that what we strive to do is something
that's very fresh but also very timeless. But most of all,
(01:55):
we really want to create houses that will reflect that
particular client. I refuse to just do the same thing
over and over. I don't ever want to repeat something
because it turned out great. Constantly want to push the
envelope and let things be a one of a kind.
Yes exactly. Sometimes client will bring me something and say, oh,
I loved what you did here. I want this for
(02:16):
my house, and I just have to tell them no, no,
let's come up with something that's going to be equally
as great. But that's just for you. I never want
my clients to walk into another home and see something
that they love in their own house and feel like, oh,
I thought I thought that was my house, and now
you see it every whe else. So that is something
that I think is a little unique to us because
(02:38):
it is it's harder. It's harder to come up with
something new all the time. It frustrates the builders that
I work with. They're all just this, it worked, yes,
exactly why why you know? But why make easy hard
or whatever? They say. Um, but I just I think
that's the key to our success is that people come
to us knowing that it's not a formula. They're going
(03:00):
to get something that feels like them and that is special.
So something that I found really amazing about you when
because you're helping us, well not helping us, you are
designing our bedroom, which I feel so lucky to have
you design our bedroom. It's like because we can walk
in have this safe, peace safe peaceful spot that makes
(03:21):
me feel just relaxed and comfortable. And so, but what
I loved about you when you walked into our house,
you immediately I could just see your brain going off
like a computer, like every single room in the house
because we were still moving in and everything is still
kind of like we're working all that, Like your brain
just immediately has a vision in whatever room you walk in,
Like we walked into Michael Studio and like it just
(03:42):
like you couldn't even help it. It was just flowing
out of you, all of the thoughts that you had
for like where to hang pictures, what kind of furniture
to use, how to like place the furniture, what would
look great at a different wall color? Like is that?
I'm sure it's a blessing and a curse when you
walk into spaces. Is your brain just like overloaded it
how you see it as it needs to be? It's
(04:03):
it pretty much is, and it's one of my I'd
say it's one of my strength, but it is a
little bit of a curse, like you said, because every
my schedule is always so busy, and very often I'll
go meet a client thinking, oh, we'll start on this
in a couple of months, because you know, I have
to concentrate on these other jobs. And then the minute
(04:24):
I enter and I see the space and I meet
the people, I get inspired. I can see what I
envision it to look like when it's done. And then
I'll literally come home and be and can't stop thinking
about it, and we'll start to put ideas and mood
boards together almost instantly. Um. So I have to force
myself sometimes to think Okay, the ideas will still be
(04:47):
there two months from now, Like I told them, slow down,
finish these other you feel like sometimes if you don't
catch the idea right then it might leave you. Like
you have to just like put it down on paper
or put it in a mood board because if you
don't grab it, like maybe it'll go away. Yeah, oh absolutely. Um.
For a while, actually had like before cell phones, I
had a little mini recorder on my bedside table because
(05:07):
I literally would dream about projects and I would wake
up in the middle of the night knowing that if
I didn't, as you say, write it down in the morning,
I may not remember. So I would literally record, please
remember that you thought about this gorgeous green wall to
do and you know whatever you better can't forget. Yes,
(05:28):
So I do do that all the time, and my
my kids get so frustrated, not so much now that
they're older because they get it. But whenever we travel
or even just go out to dinner or stay at
a great boutique hotel, all ideas, I see things and
I go up to them and I touched them to
see what material they've used, especially in foreign countries or
(05:50):
even like we'll get on the floor and see how
they did this, and take photos and we'll get off
the floor. We're a five star hotel pretty much. That yes,
backt like, that's exactly right, and but it's what inspires
me and and that's how you get fresh ideas. Um.
I can show you something upstairs in my daughter's room
(06:10):
that was an entire wall in this great little um
Soho restaurant that Chloe and I went two years ago.
And the minute I saw that wall, I thought, I
can do something so cool inspired by this. I'm not
never talking about taking it and copying it, but we're
all inspired by everything. But being inspired, yes, by something
(06:31):
that speaks to you and then having it in the
back of your mind and when the right room, the
right opportunity presents yourself. That's exactly back to what you
were saying. I'll walk in a room and think, oh
my gosh, this is the perfect setup, in place and
mood to use this inspiration, and then you can build
a whole room around it and you can't even see
(06:53):
the inspiration anymore, but it's really what started the whole thing,
if that makes any sense. So when okay, so like
you saw that room and Soho did you immediately know
you wanted to use it for your daughter's room. Or
do you sometimes just see things that inspire you and
you like create a mood board or you write it
down and just like tuck it away and you wait
for that moment to show up, or you're like, that's
where I'm gonna put that inspiration, like the inspired you're
(07:14):
you're absolutely correct, That's that's why I save all of
those photos. I have tons of banks of photos from travel,
sometimes even from the scenery, like certain colors one time
on the trip to Nevada kind of inspired a whole
scheme of actually something a little bit like what you're wearing,
those great earthy tones and um. In that case, interestingly enough,
(07:36):
we were redoing Chloe's room, and because it was the
memory that we had together this great little meal in
this little Soho restaurant, actually did build something for her
room inspired by that one room, by that one wall
in that restaurant. UM, and it was right for her
at that time. UM. But but normally it is more
(07:57):
tucked away for and as a matter of fact, a
lot of things in this house that we built about
the year ago now is inspired by a lot of
our travels and walls and floors that I touched and
figured out, how did they do that? And how can
that inspire? You know, It's just it's fun to live
(08:17):
in a space that you know exactly. And very often
people will collect art in that or you know, photos
on their walls that create personal memories. But further than that,
you can even have a home that the you know,
the construction is even inspired by your own story, if
(08:38):
that makes sense. So I love that. So you have
taken very many risks in your life. I very much
admire you for a lot of reasons. One, you are
so just. I looked on your resume to the word
you use is bold, and I like think that to
describe yourself that it's so treat You're such a bold woman.
(08:59):
You're not afraid to stand in your space, to be
a mom, to be a wife, to be a designer.
You moved from Canada to here. You pursued. You didn't
start off necessarily in design. You were like editor in
chief of a magazine. And like you've had all these
past lives that you have like gone full force into
and you let yourself evolve unapologetically along the way, which
(09:22):
I think is so inspiring because I feel like, especially
for women, sometimes we feel afraid to take risk, or
we feel like we're not worthy enough to like do
all of these things, or it's a man's world and
it's harder to be a woman, and you you just
like bust through those boundaries. How did you get that mentality?
How did you get that bravery? Has it just been
(09:42):
who you have always been your whole life? Just to
be like, this is what I feel passionate about. I'm
going to do this because I know I'm capable. Like
where did that mentality come from? Honestly, I think, Um,
where it came from is definitely from just the way
my parents raised me. My mom was a very bold woman.
She was very strong and brave and never backed out
(10:05):
of anything. She worked always, Um and all the women
in my life have always worked, and several of them
are very creative and have had to reinvent themselves due
to the phases in life that are inherent to being
a woman. So you know, during the period of having
(10:25):
young children they may have to adapt a little bit
work part time. But in Quebec, where I am originally from, um,
women all work. It's really important. It's you know, they
have their own identity, they have their own career. Um.
It is driven a little bit by the economy, but
it's you know, by the type of economy. But it's
also a very cultural thing. And there's no like shame
(10:48):
in that, because I feel like sometimes women in the
United States are shamed, like you get the mom guilt.
If you work, you get mom guilt for not being home.
But if you don't work, you get mom guilt for
you know. It's just like there's like all this guilt fronto.
But I don't feel like you grew up with that existing.
I did. I did not, and I will say it
really challenged me. So the way that we ended up
(11:10):
in the US was very interesting. My husband at the
time worked for a Canadian company called nortel Um that
had a really large presence in the US but was Canadian.
So they had huge offices in Dallas. And this other
Canadian guy that we knew from Toronto really loved him,
you know, felt like he was a great up and
(11:30):
coming guy, and UM offered him a job in Dallas.
And our son, Julian, at the time, was six months old.
So the timing of that move being that I was
already staying home for maternity leave at that time made
it a little more appealing because it allowed me to,
(11:51):
without guilt, stay home a little longer and enjoy him
as a true baby. Um. So that had a lot
to do with are you know, choosing to move the
US because he was sponsored by Nortel had a work visa,
but I didn't that it meant that I did not
have a work visa and I couldn't wait work while
(12:12):
I was there. Um, and it kind of just took
the pressure out for a minute, It sure did. And
it was at first it was sort of a plan
for two years. Um, well then it became five years.
And after two years of staying home, well basically we
kind of decided, you know what, let's have Chloe, my daughter,
(12:33):
um a little sooner than we might have normally, just
because I was home already with the toddler, not allowed
to work, you know officially, So you know, it's just
it just made it just made sense. So I got
pregnant with Chloe, had Chloe enjoyed again the part of
you know, really her as a little baby, and even
(12:56):
the toddler. But I will say that the whole time,
there was a whole lot of adaptation because it's I
will this is almost a whole other subject. But I
will say that one thing that I've learned to admire
in the US, and I learned that in those years
in Dallas is such a strong sense of community. And
(13:18):
so the women in our neighborhood had all these little
play dates and ways to support themselves. They had this
little ticket thing where you would get five tickets and
you could exchange with the neighbor with kids about the
same age. You would watch theirs while they went to
get their haircut, and then you know, you would return
the favor and do the same for them. I mean,
(13:42):
I've never heard of anything like this where I'm from. Um,
really rallying together and saying, let me help you out,
and so you can take care of yourself and have
a little like like a little me time because it's
so easy to lose yourself and kids. Yes, so that
was a lifesaver. The play groups such a great way
to get to get there with other adults while my
husband traveled. And but for me, the challenge was, you know,
(14:06):
trying to feel fulfilled with just the talk about our
child's development and what they're doing. You know, women in
that stage of life tend to mainly talk about their kids.
And being in that phase of life, I can attest
to that. I feel like I am talking to my
friends all the time about what are you feeding your kid?
What's going on with your kid? Like where you can
(14:27):
send your kid to preschool? Like all these this is
so many questions you have, baby, baby, baby, baby, But
sometimes you're like, can we talk about anything else? Exactly
like that part of you know, I love to read,
and I used to work full time and had a
very challenging, exciting job with you know, deadlines that created
all this. Sometimes we work twenty four hours NonStop to
(14:49):
meet a deadline. Yes, adrenaline, Holy smoke, I missed that
so badly. Um So, I found a couple of friends
who like to read, where we would chat about books
and other things then, but inevitably, I feel like it
always went back to the kids. And that's a little
bit what. So I basically decorated Julian and Chloe's nursery
(15:13):
to death because anytime they were napping or they were
at a little play date without me. Um I painted
all of Julian's hand painted dumb which I've never done
that before. It took hours, but it just took my
mind off of everything and allowed me to not be
a mom and a creative outlet just for you if
(15:34):
we're just a couple of hours a day, or you know,
sometimes a couple of hours a week even but those
little moments just made me feel myself again. And and
then a friend asked me, oh my god, can you
help me do my little girl's room? And then another
friend would see that look, and that is literally how
it got started, with just other friends seeing a talent
(15:58):
that I had um and asking me to help them.
And it really just started with me helping them for
free because I didn't have a work visa, and it
was just I was happy to do it. I just
wanted to do something that made me feel at the
end of the day, I've accomplished something else than changing
diapers and going to the park. I know how important
(16:18):
that is. I do not, and I will always cherish
that I was privileged enough to be able to take
that time, you know, at home, and have the means
to do that. But once they started preschool and I
had a little time on my hand, for me, staying
home doing that time felt unproductive. It just it was
(16:41):
my window to be able to come up with, Okay,
what's my next challenge. And I'll tell you a little story.
One time. I forget if it was Chloe or Julian,
but was very colloquy and I just couldn't, you know,
couldn't put them down. They just I'm I'm fairly certain
it was Chloe, and she was in the little baby
(17:02):
born and I'm bouncing her around and trying to And
that day, I think I called my husband at work
fifteen times, begging him to come home, and you know,
you need to come and to take me a break.
I do what I'm gonna do. I'm desperate. I'm crying
to sitting on the floor with her, literally bawling, stop crying,
and you just and so many did come home at
(17:24):
the end of the day, but he, you know, was
also working, busting is but at work, and you know,
a lot of pressure on him. Those are intense years
when you have kids and you're working. It's intense, they are.
And he's super supportive, best dad ever helped in the house,
cannot complain. So I'm in the best circumstances, but even
(17:46):
then it's hard. And that day he basically sat me
down and said, I love you, but like, who who
are you now? Like I married the strong chief veederate
of a magazine. He's edited woman who worked you know who,
who is so interesting and has an opinion on everything,
(18:08):
and and it's so um like fiercely independent. And now
you're calling me begging me to come home. It's probably
a wild shift. And I can totally relate to you,
because you just feel it's not that you're broken down
in a bad way. You love these kids so much,
you love that you're, like you said, privileged enough to
(18:28):
be there raised him. But you're also like it's like
a rebirth of yourself when you have kids, and like,
all of a sudden, you were this woman who was
doing these incredible things, and now you're with the baby
who wants stop crying. And that's your existence, your identity.
And it's a real big mind shock because men a
lot of the times just keep going on. They keep
going to work. Of course they love their kids, of
(18:49):
course they're great fathers, all that stuff, but they just
like continue on. It's always falls for the most part,
on the woman. And I feel like so many women
have this identity, this moment of who am I after kids? Like,
how do I combine this full woman, the woman who
was the full the powerful woman, intense like an an
(19:10):
independent before kids but still wants to be a great mom,
Like how do you combined it? So you were at
that moment I was, and and him telling me that
basically saying like this is not the person that he
wasn't telling me he wasn't loving me anymore, but he
was saying, you know, you need to take time to
find you need to find who you are again, because
(19:32):
this is not you. This is not the Mariso that
I know and love, and I get how hard it is,
but we're gonna have to find a way to make
it work because I can't come you know, I can't
come home every time that um And so that was
the you know it It did make me think of Okay,
I I don't think that it can fulfill me completely
(19:56):
to just be a stay at home mom. And at
that point, we you were making the decision of we're
gonna actually stay in Dallas for we don't even know
how long, like he just you know, chose to to
stay in that role. We're not going back to Quebec
where we're from. So I'm not going back to my magazine.
You know, this is my life now. So that is
(20:19):
pretty much when I decided to you know, we we
applied for citizenship. It took years to get but meanwhile
we got a green card, I gotta work permit. I
was able to start charging for the things that I
was doing for free for for friends. And I also
found and that one I found out that through going
(20:40):
through that struggle, another one of my friend who actually
felt the same exact way but had never really said either.
So she missed working and just was starting and was
also very um creative and not willing to get her
hands dirty and do pretty much anything. She was willing
to get her as reading. Yeah. Yeah, So we decided
(21:03):
to to work together. So she she came on board
with me because with two people, you know when I
mean at that point, we were working maybe four hours
in a day max. You know how it is you
dropped them off at at the little Don't give a
driven woman four hours because she'll get a lot done.
That's exactly what happened. Next thing we know, we were
working on the weekends sometimes when our husbands were home
(21:24):
because we were so excited about our little project. I
probably felt invigorated and you started feeling like yourself again.
And but that's what I love about you, Rigo, is like,
here you are in a new country with two babies,
not allowed to work. Literally you're legally not allowed to
work in the beginning. But then you started making adjustments.
You took that leap of faith. You've got you you
(21:45):
you sat down with your husband, you took a hard
look at yourself and said what fulfills me? And then
you move into your career that you're like brand new
at You have a skill for it, but you just
start because you're like, I can good at this, I
love this. I'm just going to move forward in this
career in a new country, like all new, fearless. That's amazing,
(22:06):
that's amazing. So many people are scared to do that,
especially women who feel stuck and feel like they don't
know how to move forward. You just made the way,
and I think that's encouraging for women to hear that
you can just make the way. Absolutely. I mean, if
you find a niche, something you're good at. I keep
reading these stories of women adapting during this pandemic. Women
(22:26):
like you said, have gotten the brunt of this in
the pandemic with kids and homeschooling. And yes, I read this.
I've read this article this week about this woman in
New York who literally was making cookies for friends just
like as a little making them happy, brighten them up
their day because she's a good baker. And she now
has decided to quit her job. She is making something
(22:49):
crazy like three thousand cookies. Everyone is fighting for her cookies.
She has hired these delivery people who are hand delivering
through the city, and she is literally kind of starting
what she now sees was always her passion in her dream,
by accident discover that baking, which was always something that
(23:10):
made her happy, could be an actual career for her
and something that turns into a business for her. And
I really do believe that when you are passionate about
something and willing to work at it because it is
hard work. And like you said, I think the key
is adapt adaptability. Um, you know, it didn't stay the same. Um.
(23:33):
I grew my business with my children. So at first
I could only do so much, only take so much.
But then they started actual elementary school and middle school
and high school, and so I literally grew my business
as the time allowed. It more because I still was
not willing though, um, you know, to miss out on
(23:55):
being their mother, Like I was Chloe's first soccer coach
when she was three years old with her little team,
and and I don't think I've ever missed one of
their soccer games for work. I they'll call me out
on this if I did, I might have been on
the phone a few times on the sideline not lying
about that if there's an emergency, right, But I was there.
(24:16):
I was present. Quality over quantitie like teary, and I
just feel I really, I'm so emotional all the time.
I feel like it's so hard for women. And I
feel like we're in a shift in the world where
women are truly like empowerment is happening. Women are being
recognized for their skills, and it's like incurage. Women are
being encouraged to pursue their dreams and work hard. But
(24:38):
it's also so really hard. We're in a shift where
it's happening. It's not like you just wake up and it's, Oh,
I'm just gonna be a badass and have this awesome
job and then raise these kids and not have a struggle.
Like it's just it's just a struggle and for you
to figure out how to make it work for you
and to let it flow. You didn't rush the process.
You let it evolve. And I feel like that's something
(24:59):
that hearing you talk about is really amazing. That you
just trusted the process and you let it be the process.
You didn't try to rush it. It seems you can't
force it too much, correct, not if you're trying to
have it all. And and that is I mean, I
love what you just said, and it makes me happy
to to see all the progress. It does make me
(25:20):
sad that I feel like women are definitely getting set
back by this pandemic more than anybody else, women of
all color, in all countries. Um, we work so hard
to to you know, to get where we are, and
now I feel like we're being set back. But I
do think that's so much changes you know are happening. Um.
(25:41):
But I think inherently emotionally, I mean, because we are
the one that physically, you know, carry these babies, deliver them.
That whole natural you know, women maternal instinct I think
is hard to deny. Um. I think that we will
always bear the brunt of parenthood more than men. Whether
(26:07):
it's I mean, I think physically and emotionally, and so
I do think that we're always going to have a
little bit of a struggle with balance, with guilt. When
you try to do it all, you sometimes feel there
are moments where you feel like you're not doing any
of it well. And I like every woman, especially mom,
(26:29):
feels that for sure. It so hard to not compare.
I think we all have that friend who's the perfect mom.
Especially on Instagram these days, you see like I see
these like influencer moms who are like they wake up
and they look perfect. Everything is perfect from their hair
to their clothes, and they make the perfect dinner. And
then they have their kids like in all their perfect obbits,
and they're going to the perfect school. And then they're
(26:50):
also like running a business and doing all this stuff
and they're happy, and then they're like kissing their husband
in life is great. I'm like, where's your mountdown? I'm
having mountdowns. I wish we were showing more of the
maildowns because I guarantee you they're having those mail but
and and I think it's you got to show that.
I mean, I literally found my first partner in business
(27:11):
kind of while having a mailtdown bending about it because
how I missed having another adult woman that I could
really I mean, we were on such She was very conservative,
of course, I'm from you know, the French part of
the Canada, which is very open and socially liberal, and
(27:31):
we would have the most interesting debates while we worked.
We still to this day have tremendous respect for each other,
but we had these adult, you know, debates for those
four hours of on all subjects. I learned so much,
um culturally about the US just chatting with her, and
I just I would get home, well, I would go
(27:54):
pick up my children and come home and then take
them to the park and too soccer practice and all
these activities, feeling rejuvenated and feeling like my brain had
worked that day in so many ways, you know, because
when you associate yourself with like minded people, and I
mean that by another woman who wants to go out
(28:15):
there and feel like she's doing something for others and
for herself, because it could be volunteering, it could be
whatever makes you happy, right, finding that thing that makes
you feel alive as yourself. And I truly believe that
that made me a better mom. I think that if
I fought my nature how I'm wired, and just thought
(28:38):
I need to toughen up. They're all doing this, why
can't I do this. I'll do the It just wasn't
my path. I would have been miserable, So then I
might be divorced by now because I wouldn't have been
my true self and would have ended up. You know,
complaining all the time, becoming more and more unhappy, resentful,
can lead to depression. You know, we all need to
(28:59):
have our own identa at ease. So it's truly for me,
it made me a better mom. My kids would sometimes
make jokes, you know, why their lunches weren't nearly as
nice looking or if you know, sometimes lunch was five
dollars instead of the perfect little binto box that their
friends had. But they're fed and their loved. They're fed
(29:20):
and they're loved. And I will say, I mean after
school it was all about them. Take them to the museum,
read with them, challenge them. Um, but I see Chloe now,
who's going to start law school in the fall, And
I know why am I crying? I Like, it's just
like craziest, like you probably are so proud to see
(29:42):
that you have raised this especially woman obviously raised a
great young man too, but an independent woman who feels
empowered to like pursue herself. Well, I'll send you this
little link because, um, you know, she's on the soccer
team at her university league at her university, Lehigh UM.
And they did this whole little segment this month on
(30:04):
basically women empowering change feminism, like what can women do
to advance help advance other women? And it had to
do they had to basically speak to why I'm choosing
this career and how I'm hoping to entice change. So
(30:24):
she had to do a whole little segment and think about,
you know, okay, I'm choosing to go study law, why
am I doing this? And how can I? And clothes
always been very interested in in um, women's right to
begin with. So that's kind of her dream is to
help fight for women and advance women right in law
(30:45):
using the law. UM. And it just and and you
know she has now come around to saying things like,
you know that seeing a strong role model model, someone
who showed her that you know, you can work. Obviously,
I was very different from the rest of her friend's
(31:05):
mother's who she would come home and be like, well,
I can't dinner beat this perfect? And you know, and
but I don't even try to cook. I gave it.
I literally like, I'm like, cooking is off my table.
I'm not doing it well. And who's to say that
it's your job? And I say that all the time,
like why is it just like the woman's role? Like
Michael was a great cook and he just sort of
(31:25):
took that over and I'm like, you're the cook and
he loves it and it's great. Why does a woman
have to do that? It's a partnership, right, you decided
to create an entity together, and who's to say that
you have to cook because you're the woman? And I
totally refused to I personally love to cook. It's sort
of beautic for me, and it is, I think and
(31:46):
see for Michael, I bet he's the same thing. Oh
he loves it. It's so creative for him. To me,
it's just a chore. So interestingly, my mother was the
same way. So my dad was always the one to
cook most because my mom felt the same way. To
her was another chore and we made fun of what
she cooked because she just did it like a role.
You know, she just did it to get it done,
(32:07):
whereas my dad would create these great meals or be
you know, and he was the creator in the couple,
and so it it's a partnership, it should be. My
parents very much had a were a team and there's
no set role. As my my father often was the
one to clean most too, just for some weird reason.
(32:29):
He found that kind of peaceful. And you know, and
my my mom loved um gardening. She would much rather
spend three hours digging dirt and doing stuff outside. That's
how she would relax. My dad actually enjoyed that also,
But you know, they just did everything together. There was
no set role. And I do think that that's the
(32:50):
strength of French Canadian culture that I'm glad I have
even in my new life here in the US um
because here too, like I was speaking of that community,
and there's so many great things that you know, that
are inherent to this culture that I have now that
(33:11):
we've integrated into our lives, and I think this, you know,
it's such a gift. I sometimes I'm so torn with
sort of having this double right, how do you u identity?
You've had such a huge life as a French Canadian
but you also have a huge life as an American.
How do you I've really learned to try to cherish
(33:32):
like the best of both, and because now I feel
like I see more critically the other side what Canada
and Quebec in particular might not do so well. And
when I'm there and we chat with family and and
talk about how they view the US, you know, well,
I'll often feel obligated to defend the US and be like,
(33:54):
it's not like that at all. Those are preconceptions. This
is how it is, and here are some strengths of
And I find myself doing the same thing here defending
some of you know, people will be like, oh, Canada,
you guys, you know, and and it's so funny, but
it's really made me kind of embrace that whole by
culturalism of you know, take the best of both. And
(34:17):
with our kids, who really grew up here mainly I
think in Nashville. I mean, Julian was in first grade
when we moved here. Um, they are quite southern, and
Julian's very much a gentleman. He opens doors, they say
ma'am sir, which is something that is so different than
from how we grew up. Um, it's you know, I
(34:39):
love that they have that. I love that they have
the open mind of being a little more. I'm not
sure how to say that, but because they've been exposed
to other ways, they just have a very open mind
about different culture ways to live. Yes, you don't just
have to be in one particular culture, like you can
be a Southern, grow up Southern, but you can also
(35:02):
appreciate and identify with other ways to live. It doesn't
have to be one way, yes, and I it was
interesting for me to watch them struggle with that a
little bit in school. Um, like, who am I? How
do I fit in with? My parents are not the
same as her parents? And you know we eat differently.
We you know, I grew I cook French a lot still,
(35:23):
but when when we first got here, I mainly cooked
what I knew, right and so and my kids would
be like, oh, Mom, you know so and so is
coming over, Fidget, please don't cook anything weird. Please make
a hot dog and hamburgers and French fries. You're like, no,
but this is so much better, But they would be like, no,
it's not. To this day, Chloe will ask me to
(35:43):
make her grilled cheese with like She's like, please use
like white bread and a yellow slice, because she would
ask for a grilled cheese while during a play date,
and I would use the leftover baguette and I would
have some and not throw a little brie like OWT
would mix like all these leftover cheeses and they would
be like, what is this sort? It's heaven on earth
(36:06):
and I wish I could eat that. But yeah we
um she So you know, I I definitely watched them
sort of have to learn to juggle and but now
I look at the result and I feel like they
have the best of both. You know, they're not perfect,
I'm not saying that, but they have a very interesting
approach and they really have the best of the South
(36:29):
a little bit, which is so interesting. What are some
of your favorite traits that you have that you got
from being French Canadian. Um definitely, uh, well, bold would
be one. I think that French Canadian period are very um,
(36:51):
strong minded, opinionated. You know, it's the Latin side of
the blood like French Italian mixed sort of. Um of
just being pretty much very much who you are, very
authentic and not embarrassed about it. That's awesome. Um not
(37:12):
scared to express your opinion and your views share them
with others. I've learned to be um. That is something
that I've learned here from the stuff of being more
gracious about it and standing back and listening more. My
opinion is not the only opinion that matters. That's what
you've learned from being here. Yes, it is, because when
(37:33):
you live in a place where everyone sort of essentially
feels the same, it's so easy to start thinking that's
how it should be. But no, it's not how it
should be. That's how it is here. Who knows how
it should be? Right, That's what we all have to
work on. Okay, So that's interesting. So being here, you've
actually learned to like step back and listen a little
more for sure, and also appreciate other opinions that are
(37:56):
so different from mine sometimes but just to learn from
them and and also, um, grow from that, you know,
learn to see the other side. And that teaches you
to sort of go over to the other side a
little bit in a way, because you're seeing all these people.
We have so many friends who respect that we respect
(38:17):
and love. We love their families, we love their children
and how they raise them. And the great kids that
they've raised also, and so there's so much to learn
from that, you know, to respect other people's opinion, I
would definitely say that I was a little more you know,
I know, I know on that subject um. And it's
(38:41):
you know, when we go home, that is literally what happens.
We we cook for hours, we drink for hours, and
then we argue about everything for hours. But it's the
and we are when I say we argue, we kind
of feel we very much have the same opinion. Very
often it's almost more of a playing devil's advocate. Like
(39:03):
we love to debate so much that we create debates
by like with fake arguments to see what the other
will say. It's like the sport of arguing is very
French Canadian. And one of the reasons my daughter would
probably tell you that she's lawyer. Yes, it's so in her.
It's like if you say go this way, she will
(39:25):
be like, but but what about this little path that
looks interesting? You know, there's a good point to that.
Why not? Yeah, And that's definitely how I am to
just you know, just not the way that you say
is not necessarily what I'm going to accept, you know,
And that has to do with design too. I it,
but I appreciate that because you're not just going to
take this standard answer. You want to know why, and
(39:48):
then you want to know why is it not another way?
I can't we explore this other way exactly, and then
if the original way was truly the best way, at
least you explored every other option to know that. Yes,
but that is a lot of what I learned here
with some friends who just are, um, it's just too
to respect the fact that it's okay to realize that
(40:08):
you're wrong and to admit it and to have heard
the argument or the other way and say, you know what,
I've tried it, but you're right, this was better. There's
something really beautiful about that to say, like we can
actually have a friendly debate and we can totally I
can push this issue a little bit or like pursue
a different option and then realize your option is right
and it doesn't have to be that I was like
(40:29):
this terrible person who said something wrong. I just wanted
to see what else is out there. And then to say,
like you said, Sam, sorry, like not I'm sorry, Like
you're right, you're right, you're absolutely absolutely I'm healthy when
I was eighteen years old. I think I thought that
having to say you're right or I'm wrong, it was
the most horrible thing in the world, you know. So
(40:52):
I still don't say it that often, but I think it.
I think it's an improvement. When did you know your
business was exploding? Like you went through all of this
life change and all of these feelings and all these
evolutions of yourself. When did you know I have arrived
as a designer and I am one of the top
designers in my field, and it is like, I am
(41:15):
I am here? When did you know that? And how
did you get there? Um? So, when we when when
we moved to Nashville from Dallas, it was another sort
of big having to reinvent yourself moment because Dallas is
a very unique market. People out there are a lot more,
um they're they're extremely social, they love to entertain, biggers
(41:39):
better and and people dressed and decorate differently than here.
Um So when and you know, it just meant that
I was losing that that existing clientele. So when Sylvan
you know, came home one day to say, I have
this incredible opportunity to move to Nashville, I you know,
I was like, oh, here we go again. I just
(42:02):
got my footing in Dallas. Yeah, I have to start over. Yeah.
But honestly, interestingly enough, it kind of happened the same way.
You know. We took the time to kind of settle
the kids in, find the schools, and I pretty much
designed the house to make it a home. We had
to buy it in two days. When we moved here.
(42:24):
The market was so hot. I had not even seen it,
so they had to literally he had to make an
offer because there was another offer behind it, and it
kept happening. So he I finally said, I trust you
will make it work. Just buy it. So he did
and we um. So I I concentrated on that probably
(42:45):
about for six months. And then again, um neighbors that
I had met who brought meals the way that people
here do in the South, which was so incredible, introduced themselves,
brought a cast role, were like, oh my gosh, what
is this place. It's so incredible. Um we we um.
(43:07):
I met these other ladies, they saw the house, asked
me to help them. Well, this time I was allowed
to work. I had a model that I knew sort
of how to recreate. I had to adapt to the
style of these homes and you know, uh, people here
a little more casual, and it's definitely more the true South.
There's an aesthetic like a classic Southern style here that
(43:28):
doesn't exist in Dallas. So learned that a little bit
through my first projects. And then I quickly met one
of my neighbor who again had just moved here, was
an extremely creative person. Her kids were actually just a
little older than mine, so she even had a little
more freedom. And she literally said, I love what you're doing.
(43:49):
I mean, I would love to work with you. And
her name is Julia Dunn. She's still one of my
dearest friend and so she was my first you know
part nor call her here. And we started. We did
foux finishes, we painted, you know, we we picked um
paint colors for houses. We did small furniture. That's sort
(44:11):
of how we got our foot in the door. And
it evolved into so much more. Started to work with builders.
Is it more word of mouth always always, because people
eat with their eyes, they see it and who did that? Correct?
And And honestly, you know communication, taking good care of
your clients, you have to listen to them and you
have to hold their hands when they panic. You can't
(44:34):
just be like, trust me, I know what I'm doing
and then let them to to you know, like not
sleep at night because a lot of money to design
a b innovator whatever you're doing the house. It is
it's such a trusting relationship like you have to have.
They put so much faith into you, and sometimes they
hardly know you most of the time. As a matter
of fact, right now, I'm doing entire houses remotely with
(44:58):
clients who will meet me when they moved been to
their beautiful new house that we will have built and
furnished fully. I mean, that's a huge, huge trust into
someone that you really do not know. So I um,
that's you know about I would say probably about almost
(45:20):
two years to ten years ago now is really when
we started to turn down business and having to choose
our project. When you can turn down business, yes, that
is like such an amazing feeling to know that, like
you actually can just say no, I'm I'm kind of
choosing I'm picking yes because at first, really, I you know,
(45:43):
I still have a hard time saying no. That might
be my biggest problem in business because once I see
if I agreed to see a project, I'm in trouble
because I usually because your mind explodes. They're so nice,
they need us so badly, even though we're I'm already working,
there is no more time. But you know, just got
to a place where I mean, the kids were still
(46:04):
relatively young. I didn't want to miss I Also, we
were starting to get asked to travel to different cities
to do houses in Florida or and I couldn't do that.
My husband already traveled. I was the one to pick
up the kids they come to soccer, and that you know,
I was perfectly happy with what I was doing. So
it was almost keeping the business on hold, like just
(46:27):
doing what we were doing, taking the perfect amount of
project to try to have a good you know, working
slash parents family life. And when they started to drive
is when I mean that that was a life changer
for my business because I could then take so much more.
And of course I also grew hiring more people help um.
(46:52):
But having employees is great and it's sort of we
operate in a way that it's like my second family
here now, you know, my I work with a lot
of my best friends and I feel so fortunate about
our relationship. But it's still more work. For me because
I want to make sure that everything we do reflects
(47:15):
my philosophy and who I am as an interior designer,
And so when other people are doing more work, it's
I still have my hand in that. So it's just
I've learned quickly that adding more help does not mean
that I'm working class. Yeah, it's not necessarily taking more
off your plate. No, correct, So very important I think
(47:35):
for women to which goes back to something important that
you said earlier, is just to be patient and sort
of trust. Then it made me sad to turn down
a restaurant, you know, while my kids were in middle school,
or but how great you could trust your instinct though,
to be like, you know what, it's actually, it's not
the time of my life for that, and I'm going
to turn it down because I want to be present
(47:55):
with my kids. But to know that and to be
able to have that guiding intuition, that's hard. You have
to know yourself well. You just have to know that
if those opportunities are there now, just they will come around,
and they'll come around even bigger and better, you know,
because you're not forcing it because you feel scared that
you're gonna lose it correct if you're good at what
you do, and yes, oh that's a good piece of advice.
(48:18):
You stay the course. It's all going to happen really
at the right time and in an even an even
better way. That is such a wise piece of advice,
because you have this carrot dangling in front of you
and you're like, oh, that's such a big opportunity for me.
I want to do this, but like it doesn't feel right,
it feels rushed, it feels stressful, it feels too much.
(48:38):
But if I turn it down, I'll never get something
like this again, so I have to say yes. And really,
then you end up suffering at the job. You end
up suffering being a mom. You end up suffering because
you knew your gut was telling you know, it's not
the time. It's trusting that process, which you are really
good at. Like you're really good at trusting the process,
and it's so hard to not compare yourself and like
see other women in the field. Are other people in
(48:59):
the field doing this or doing that? And you're like, gosh,
I should try to do that because I need to
like catch up or have more or whatever. But you
stayed the course and then look at you now, you know, well,
you know some of it. I'd love to say that
it's great wisdom, but it really was just, you know,
my husband traveled and he was gone most weeks before
the pandemic, and you know, I was the one home
(49:19):
who had to stop at four o'clock and pick up
the children and you know, take them to soccer. And
I didn't really have a choice. But I really did
learn to be at peace with that because, you know what,
I just kept thinking, I'm still so young. I am
just getting started. So when by the time they're in college, Yes,
I'll go do the houses in Florida, and I'll go
(49:41):
do the houses in l A. And I'll do a restaurant.
I'll do ten restaurants. I guess when I did this year.
I did a house in Florida, did a house in
l A. That is exactly what I'm doing. That's amazing.
I knew it would come at the right time. Absolutely,
And I'm not about to slow down. I mean, you know,
I love what I do. I wake up every morning
(50:01):
with new ideas and thinking about who am I meeting
today and what are we going to create? And so
you know, people ask me sometimes, don't you want to
slow down, like, and I'm speeding up. I am exactly,
I am just getting started. I just I love it.
I'm eating it up. What do you want to tell
a woman, a mom or just a woman in general,
(50:24):
who feels like she has all this creativity, who feels
like she has all this to offer the world, but
she feels stuck. She doesn't feel like she can get going,
she doesn't feel like she has a way to get
into her the career that she wants. She feels like
it could never happen for her. What do you want
to tell that woman? Wow, that is a tough question.
It is definitely don't be shy too. I think women
(50:46):
view things like that as a as a weakness. Um,
and like talk to your pack, talk to your people,
you know, because that's sort of I may have never
gone this path if I hadn't been talking to this
friend her name is Pat Rockney, who lives in Ohio. Now, um,
if we wouldn't have had that chat where she also
(51:08):
opened up and we realized we're feeling the same way
and decided to do this together. And you started in
your own home for no money, correct, you just started
a we found a way for it, correct, you want
to bake cakes for events, you want to cater, offer
a friend to do her shower or her right like
do it's at first like completely did it for free,
(51:30):
But I mean, it really is just put yourself out there,
you know, talk to other people about them, know what
your talent is, let them know what your talent is,
or even try to figure out that talent with them,
because you know, sometimes we just don't know. I've always
envied people like so my son have been saying that
he would go into medical school for years. He is
(51:53):
always new, he always sort of new, and now he's
in medical school and thank god, he adores it. He
loves it. He always knew that that was sort of
his path, and I was never that way. I'm interested
in so many things. I feel like people ask me sometimes,
you know, what would you do if you were to
do this all over again? Well, now that I know
(52:14):
what happens in my story, I do it all over again.
But you know, when I was twenty, if I, you know,
would choose a different major or something. I I mean,
I don't even know what to tell you. I would
love to be a vet because I'm crazy about animals.
I would love to be a chef because I love
to cook, and I think, oh my gosh when I
(52:34):
look at women's chef they're such badasses. Yes, um, there's
so many things that I feel like I could be
interested in pursuing. It kind of happened a little bit
by accident, but it's because I tried, and I put
myself out there and he fought. I fought for it
correct and then you know, don't be scared too. I
(52:55):
we went and met a builder and basically said, we
can do your model so much better than whoever is
doing that. You've never done one before. Your house is
so well built, but you're not showing it. Well, let
us will do it for you. We'll show you what
we can do. You know, you just put yourself out
there immediately with never having really done it before. So
(53:15):
just cost yourself, yes, be confident, yes, and take those
risks and walk into it confidently. Maybe you don't have
as much experience as someone, but you know you have
what it takes, and you know you have the determination
and drive to do it. So just put I love
that put yourself in those situations. And I love that
you said start with your people, let them know what
you love and then try to find little opportunities to
(53:38):
showcase that Exactly, that's amazing. Exactly, that's amazing. So I
always wrap up with leave your Light. Obviously, this whole
podcast has been super inspiring. What do you want people
to know? What? What do you want people to know?
Like when you like, if you're like speaking to a
crowd of women people, whatever, what do you want them
to know about life? Wow? That is just very broad question. Yeah,
(54:05):
just a little easy one to end with. Um. I
mean I I think that when I look at my
daughter's generation, which is probably not too far from your generation,
but when I look at young women following us and
how they seem to put so much value into balance
(54:29):
and really not being scared of pursuing their passion maybe
over monetary things. Um, I have so much respect for that.
I do. I'm far from believing that they will not
be successful because they don't care as much about money.
I think that a lot of times I feel like
(54:50):
they're more interested in the experiences and and in what
life will bring them and what they can do for
the world. And again it goes back to passion, like
if go and do what you're truly passionate about because
if you are if you do have that passion and
you're willing to work hard at it, and I don't
(55:13):
mean working hard in the sense of not having a
life and working seven Um, you're gonna be successful and
you will have an impact on the people the world
around you. Um. I find that so inspiring because I
do think that our generation was a little more driven by,
you know, get into the rat race. You know, you
(55:34):
can make money, Go and work in a corporation or
a big company and work as much as you can
in so many hours so that you can get a
promotion as fast as you can and go up and
up and up. And I think that a lot of
children have watched their their parents work so hard and
are sort of thinking that's not, like, that's not what
(55:54):
I want and not have soul in my career. Yes, yes,
And but then then the parent in me wants to say,
but I mean, you love going to on ski trips,
and you loved going to you gotta make that money too,
if you're gonna need a little money. But I think
it's great to sort of let them like, you know,
when you're young and your idealists, and it's great to
(56:16):
to see just have faith in what that might lead to,
because I don't. I think that they're not saying they
don't want to work hard. They're just saying that they're
basing their decision on something different than maybe we did. Um,
that makes sense a lot of sense. Working more for
soul and not money and the money will come. It's
really what they believe, correct, Like if they if you're
(56:38):
pursue your passion, pursue what's in your heart, the money
will follow. Correct, not leading for them not working for
the money. Correct. And I mean I honestly that's sort
of how I started, and even nowadays, I think what
the projects that I choose are thoroughly more motivated by
how interesting the experience that it might bring us, rather
(57:00):
than solely a monetary decision, because ultimately we're not out
there to just crank out that many You know, I
do this because I love what I do. I love
that I have the opportunity of to change people's life
in a very small way, but to give them a home, yes,
where they feel, as you said, say they come home
(57:21):
and it feels safe and it's a heaven heaven that
where they can relax, and especially right now you know him.
Home has proven to be more important than ever. It
doesn't matter how small or big it is, so so
that to me, that is my biggest reward is when
a client you know, walks in and it's done, and
(57:44):
sometimes they cry, which is so great. Sometimes they jump
up and down, but just like the and and they'll
write us to thank you. Note that says, you know,
it was just the house. It was just it was
just walls, and now it's a home and we love
it so much and we're so happy here. Man, it's
just yeah, that's ultimately really why we do this. That's amazing, Rigo,
(58:06):
you're incredible. This is such an amazing interview. Wasn't too scary,
was it a little bit? But you made me very comfortable.
You are so comfortable and great at this. And what
a great idea, what a great, great initiative. I mean,
that speaks exactly to what we just talked about. Well, aparent,
I mean the thought that you're trying to empower women
through sharing our experiences. Um, I feel that way. I
(58:30):
want to show case women who are doing amazing things
and to show other women that, like, it's not really
easy for any woman, but you can still do it
like your journey. If someone might look at you on
Instagram or in an article or something and think, God,
how did she get all that? That's amazing? How did
she get to this place? But really, you hear your story.
It's a journey. It's been a ride for you. It's
(58:51):
been some highs and lows. And I think every woman
especially needs to know that that there isn't this one
person who's just had it so easy. It's just you
have to get into that journey and like, trust it
and it's gonna be good. It's gonna be bad, but
don't feel upset if you're lost for a moment, because
we all are lost. We are and we grow the
It sounds so cliche, but we do grow from all
(59:11):
of that. I mean, there are so many meltdowns, and
there have been projects where people walk in and they go, oh,
this is not what I expected. And then you just
have to adjust and think how can we make you happy?
What can you do? You know, it's their home and
so it's not always rosy. I certainly didn't mean to
make it sound that way, but you never give up.
(59:33):
You adjust, You turn around and you think how can
I fix that? And that's even exciting. Challenges are exciting
to me and you just yeah, no, women needs to
back down or be scared of anything. We're all so strong.
We just have to to, you know, find out what
we are good at and what we It's not always
as easy for us to find that. I agree. We
(59:55):
all have something that we're so good at and we
all can. We just have to find it. Said to
start with curiosity and then start pursuing it however you can,
and just let it evolve, just like you have with
your story, and then who knows, maybe one day you're
one of the best designers in Nashville, Tennessee, like you, Marigo,
because you trusted your curiosity and your journey and you
fought for it and you wrote it out. It's I mean,
(01:00:16):
it's inspiring. It's so inspiring. Thank you so much. This
was such a fun chat, and I cannot wait for
you to see your own bedroom. I know, I know
it will be so fun for You're the best, and
thank you so much for joining me. I'm just so
honored to have you as a guest, as a person
that I admire in my life, and you're designing my room.
It's really a privilege to know you and to have
(01:00:37):
this conversation, so thank you for joining me, Thank you Bye,
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