DANNY GOKEY: The Guy with The Good Hair Shares His Tragic Journey to Real Faith

I love this guy. He wears bright colors and isn’t afraid to be fully transparent, with everything. He’s rare. 3 weeks after Danny’s wife tragically died at age 27, he was thrown into the whirlwind of being a finalist on Season 8 of American Idol, on National TV. His story of finding hope after devastation inspired millions around the globe. But inside, Danny was struggling with anxiety and the looming fear that God was constantly “mad at him.” Danny shares his journey of how he has found an authentic relationship w God that isn’t based on fear. He tells us how he met his wife and mother of his children and their secrets to a successful marriage. Danny gets honest about his new album and talks about some of his most personal lyrics. You’re going to love this one. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Cary Line. She's a queen and talking, and so she's
getting really not afraid to feed as episode soul. Just
let it flow.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
No one can do we quiet, cary Line.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
It is time, Carolyne.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm so excited to be here, Danny Goki and the
good hair and the good thank you. Look at that hair, Danny.
I mean not all guys, because you're.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
In your forties, right, I'm forty four.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Forty four, I'm forty are you forty? I'm forty and
people start like losing their hair way before this, and
you have a full head of hair.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
What's your secret?

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Well, as a full head of hair, it's it's having
some issues in the back.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Oh you're in the back.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Oh, it's getting a little fit in the back.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
You can't tell.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Okay, guys, can I say a little let me say,
yeah you want to say, let me say.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Let's say okay, okay, So you do.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
A little com over in the back, comb over a
tiny bit but you can't see.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
But that's not like the comb over on the front.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
No, no, but you want to know my secret? I
do I take pills?

Speaker 3 (01:12):
What pills? Pro pia?

Speaker 1 (01:13):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:14):
No, no, no, hey, what's propicia?

Speaker 1 (01:16):
I have no idea.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
No, what is pro pecia?

Speaker 4 (01:19):
You don't tell me about something super embarrassing. Now, I'm
gonna look it up later.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
No, I think I think there's I think propecia because
alopecia is when you leave your hair. Okay, pro picia's
favorite pro pisia not not pro alopecia. This is what
I'm hey, I'm just narrowing it down what I think
using words. I use these vitamins. It's a vitamin kind
of mix like it's got pumpkin seed like. So listen, guys,
you can go on. They're called DHT blockers. I do that. Okay,

(01:45):
I'm just gonna I've never said this.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Share it probably Listen. All the men who are balding
want to know. Right, Yes, there's a roar of response.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
We want to know. Embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna hear. I don't
care anymore. You know that?

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Wait? Wait does it? What's your live? In Levita Goky.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
We talked the real stuff hair on your podcast and
Reroll Live.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
You're a real person, Danny, I.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Said in Spanish first, and then I said it first
just to get it out. Now, I actually use like
a laser helmet too. You ever heard of those lasers.
There's a certain level wavelength of lasers. Low level lasers
leve lights to actually push down whatever the thing is
DHT in your head.

Speaker 4 (02:22):
So I use that as well, Like you put a
laser on your head.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Shoot my head with lasers?

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Do you go to doctor or just it's a hat.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
It's a hat with like low l l l l
l T low level light therapy.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
Have you noticed the difference?

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yes, And even if I didn't, I would still use
it because I don't want to lose it.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
You know what I heard too is if you tug
your hair, if you do like hair tugging and pull
it up, it keeps things stimulated. Yes, so you got
to go around and tug all your hair hairtag laser propecia.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I think that's dangerous.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
You think it is haircause you don't to fall out.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't want to pop.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
So you're very serious about your hair.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
It looks right, thank you.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
I don't want to get you guys. I don't want
to lose it.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
I know that's a thing for guys.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Girls lost their hair.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Well, okay, so Eddie who's on the Bobby Bone Show,
he just did this whole thing where he got this
hair taped on his head, and it's like it's like, not,
isn't that right Ebbie hair System. So he was kind
of balding and he's mean, I'm talking about this because
he did a whole special on it.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
He's open about his hair. But like he did a whole.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Thing where she shaves your head right, and then they
like glue this hair on and it looks so real
and it lasts for like a month or so you
have to go back and yeah, it's like how girl
gets their hair highlighted every like eight weeks or so.
It's like you get your new hair taped on every month.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
Which why can't guys have hair stuff?

Speaker 2 (03:45):
Girls have all the products, you know, we do have
the fake lashes, We do the self tanner, not that
guys can't do your self tanner. We do the hair
all that, Like why can't guys do that too? You know,
like guys should be able.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
To have it that. I've seen it on TikTok. I've
seen it.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
It's just you know, like my itch.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
You imagine, Like I mean, these guys come out looking
just like.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
Movie stars like Danny Goky hair.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, well do they come out looking like they got
dannyk hair?

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Thank you. I'm feeling good about my hair today. I
don't feel like I brushed it.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Well, no, it looks thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
If you're watching this on live, just I'm gona give
you a boosh you commidents if you were worried about it,
don't worry no more.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
The problem with men is that like the hair migrates south.
So like hair on my shoulders, I mean, what is
that you have hair on your shoulders? Probably not because
girls don't get that. You You wouldn't understand a hairline,
and neither would any other female listening. We get hair
on our shoulders.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
It's hard, isn't it terrible?

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Come on? How does it migrate south?

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Like?

Speaker 1 (04:42):
I wanted to stay the north side of me stay here?
But I do use us and I encourage people to
go because when the hair foller coat, so there's stages
of hair loss. What I learned is that hair goes
through where the you pretend this is like a follen
hair follicle, It goes like to this size and it
gets thinner. And so it's not just your hair falling out,

(05:02):
it's each individual strand is getting thinner. So the laser
and the pills are pushing down the DHD d hydro testosteron,
whatever it is, and it's allowing us to you know,
have hair longer.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Okay, you the things you didn't know you needed to know.
We just told you about hair loss and not how
not to lose.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
It or just go to Turkey. I'm hearing Turkey. Have
you not heard about this, Carolin? Let me educate shore.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Oh gosh, okay, And I've thought about this for this, right,
You're gonna go to Turkey for that?

Speaker 1 (05:32):
I thought about this for the back. Yeah. Just it's
a little fade. But I'm praying that this helmet works.
But apparently like you can get a hair transplant and
you can get all these different things for like what
different grand like airplane ticket, hotel, what thing? No things

(05:53):
for like three grand?

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Is it safe? Why is it only Turkey?

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Three thousand dollars?

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Wait, we don't want to.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
No people, it's super big. It's a my friend just
did it?

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Is it like one doctor? Is it like all the Turkey?
All the doctors and turkeys too.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
So you can pay apparently he compared prices. You can
pay like fifteen grand here for a hair trust plant,
or you could pay three thousand dollars in Turkey and
get your flight, five star hotel food. It's like three grand, and.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
I'm dying to go to Turkey. I mean it's a
great vacation too, is it. I mean, yeah, it's always
one on my list.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
I did the Amazing Race.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
I did The Amazing Race two times, and we never
went to Turkey.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
And that was one of my goals, was to go.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
To Turkey because I thought, you're lucky I wasn't on
the show then you're on it, because I would have
beat you.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Oh no way.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
I got second place and fourth place. I did it
two times, Danny. That's the thing.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
I was with my former band mate Jennifer Wayn who's
in a band run Away June now actually interviewing her tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
And everyone thought that we.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Were just the blonde girls and we were countries. I
was a country singer back at the time.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
She still is. And everyone's like, oh.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
They're gonna get out so fast.

Speaker 4 (06:54):
Everyone just like didn't even consider us a threat.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
We just slid.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
We kept sliding under the radar, just kept sliding under
the radar.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
We had a great positive attitude, had a lot of fun.
We weren't mean to each other.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
We always were supportive where everybody else.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Was tearing each other down.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
And here we got we got fourth place, and then
we were invited back to do All Stars and we
lost by five seconds runner up. So I mean, you
think you would beat me, Danny, You think you would. Yeah,
I don't know if you could beat me.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Killer over here, I'm a little bit overweight. You seem fit,
getting fit.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
The amazing race.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Like the thing is that, yes, being fit does help,
but they throw in all these challenges, like memory challenges.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
You have to do all this. There's all these.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Different like cooking challenges. There's all these things that like
level the playing field. Plus like time people get on
different planes and like you get knocked out because like
you got delayed, and.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
All sorts of stuff.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I think that's kind of the key. How you said
in the beginning, you said we kind of went under
the radar.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, don't beat obvious.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
The winner of my season Americanada was under.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
The radar because you. I don't.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
I can't even remember your winner, like I remember you,
and I remember Adam.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
I will make sure I text him let him.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Know I'm sorry. Were you with mandsa No. I saw
you did a post with her. And I had a friend,
a friend who was a dear friend of mine. Her
name she's in school with her son is in school
with mine, and she was on the season with uh Mandy's.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
Her name was Lisa Tucker, and I was like, oh
my gosh, I'd be so fun if.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
You wrong, you know I was.

Speaker 4 (08:21):
I think she passed away sadly, I know.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
So unexpected, so sad. But the winner of my season,
your season, eight season, he lives in Nashville and I
love him. What's his name?

Speaker 3 (08:32):
Chris? You do know Chris? Chris, Chris Christopher.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
I think that guy's an actor, Chris. Actually, this one
is Chris Allen.

Speaker 4 (08:42):
Chris Allen. I know Chris Allen.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
He's such a sweet guy.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
He is a sweet guy.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
We're not talking abou him anymore. I'm sill bitter. I'm
bitter at him for winning.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
So he was under the radar the whole time.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
They called him the dark horse and Simon Simon to lose. Okay,
we know Simon, Well, I don't know him.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
Well was he was?

Speaker 2 (08:59):
He? Was? He?

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Kind of?

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Is he?

Speaker 4 (09:01):
Why was he so mean?

Speaker 3 (09:02):
Well, here's not' really mean, he's just honest.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
That's okay. This is where people, I think get wrong
because I had that same perception. Why do you mean
to people just don't want to hear the truth about themselves.
And he's like, bro, you can't sing, Like dude, you know,
like listen, if you can't sing, maybe you have other
gifts that you have, but you aren't exploring it because
you think that you're a pop star.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
But he doesn't tell you that you have other gifts
that you can pursue. Who just tells you you're terrible,
like doesn't think his delivery is just a little intense.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
Okay, maybe you're right about that, Like he doesn't give you.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
That follow up encouragement, which I mean is fine unless
you're a super sensitive teenager and you like you know,
go into deep.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Depression after that, And that's okay. I think I didn't
they say that at one point did someone commit suicide
after the Simon. I don't think they directly correlated it
to but I think there was some I think some
of the philosophy's changed because it's a.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Little it's a little when you're when you're that age
and that like formative you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Can I blame the mom though, I blame the mom's
period who tell their kids that they can sing. Okay,
I believe you could be anything, but you shouldn't just
be anything that's bad. You should be something that's good.
So like the church that I grew up in, I
love that my pastor kept it real, right. Okay, he's like, listen,
some of y'all don't belong in the choir.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
You He's let you know, but he loves you, but
he didn't give you a voice.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Jesus didn't give you a voice, and.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
He was something else, and let's go find that other talent.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
But hey, why do we wasting time? It's like me
trying to act like I can dance.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
But you do dance.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
I saw you and want to be a video and
you actually did a lot of moves like robot things
like yeah, like you did a lot of moves, So
I want to be a doe dance.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Though you're just not good. And Simon made fun of that,
and I'm bitter to him to this day. No, but actually, Simon, okay,
let's go back to that thing because he he carries
this Remember the salt that you'd see in movies like
this whole thing that if someone passed out, they put
in front of your nose and they'd wake up. Simon,
it's a smelling salt. Simon carries that on him, I think,

(10:57):
to wake him up, to keep him alert. Yeah, Like
I'm sitting next one show and I see him do
something and I go, what is that? He goes to
smell and saw just wakes me up and I smell that.
I it made me pass out nearly, so the opposite effect,
it was so bad.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
It just kept it kept his senses alert.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
It keeps your senses alert. And I don't know how.
I mean American Ido that listen, that show was so
like it's a little bit of a trauma.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Well you okay, Like you are really wonderful at sharing
your story because like you're you have such a testimony
for your life. But like you were married and your
wife died four weeks before you went on American Idol.
How did you must have their courage to do that?

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Well, there was a few things, because quite honestly, I
didn't want to go after that. I just when you
lose someone, you feel like you amputate a part of
your soul. And I don't know you know, I know
that we've all went through losses their wife.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
I mean that's like, that's serious.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
And if you think about, like the scriptures talk about
that you are one, right, so they're really the amputation
felt so real. I didn't want to do it. I
did want to do it because she's the one that
got me to want to do it. But then the
trout was four weeks after her being so raw. Oh,
it was.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Absolutely and it was unexpected.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Right she went in for like her heart was beating
really fast and like she had heart issues, but like
nobody was expecting her past.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Her surgery had a ninety percent success rate, and I
remember saying goodbye to her. I went to work that day.

Speaker 4 (12:23):
You thought it was going to be so routine, well
not routine, but.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Yes, like I knew it was kind of a big
deal because it's a heart surgery and it's always a
big deal, but I didn't want to acknowledge that it
was a big deal. And plus the doctor gave me
enough confidence. I had my faith to stand on. You know,
I think sometimes when we have our faith to stand on,
you know, we can become oblivious to some situations. That's
where I was. I mean, I was twenty seven. I

(12:46):
didn't want to acknowledge that, so I went to work
that day. I worked at the cheesecake factory, of all places,
and I could barely. I think I was probably the
worst server that day. It wasn't a good server anyways,
you know, I just absent minded a lot on my
mind and she I got the call and I that
the surgery didn't go as well. Went to the hospital,

(13:07):
never went back to work again, stayed in the hospital.
They put on an artificial heart. It was like a
two week process and when we prayed to all the
tears dried up. I mean I had no tears left
in my body. And she passed away unexpectedly going on
the show.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
For artificial heart put in.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
So what they do is they if your heart stopped,
if it stops working and it's about to lose it,
to put you on a transplant list. They'll put you
on an artificial heart, which is this huge machine. I
forgot what they call it, and it's they put these
They had these two tubes just in her chest like
doing the work of her heart for her. I think
blood for her.

Speaker 4 (13:43):
It only works in the hospital.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Like you can't like live, could never live with it,
because this is massive. This is back in two thousand
and eight, this massive machine, and it's basically pumping blood
for you. And we won on the artificial and we
went on the transplant list. She never made it, and
I was absolutely devastated. And it was the last year
I could go on American Idol. So now I'm kind
of answering your question. I went on American Outo reluctantly

(14:07):
because it's four weeks after her passing, because if had
I not done it then, and I told her I
would do it, and she was excited for me to
do it, then I would have no chance afterwards.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
He had twenty seven was the cutoff, twenty eight.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
And I was going to turn twenty eight the next year.
So August two thousand and eight, it was actually August eight,
two thousand and eight, was my first trial date. And
eight means new beginnings if you look it up like number,
like numerology in the Bible anyways, and so I was
like it kind of meant something to me thinking and
it was the eighth season of American Idol, like all
these things, I just kind of, you know, run with

(14:40):
day twenty eight. All things work together for are good.
You know what I'm saying, Like things work together. And
so I went on the show, took third place. But
here's the good thing for me. Sorry, I'm pointing my
finger at you.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
Like listen here, right here.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
I I needed something bigger than me. Yes, yeah, I
needed a bigger vision because what we go through depression,
when we go through you know, a loss, when we
walk through unexpected situations, we're disappointed to a place of
almost like a root of bitterness is on the inside
of us, and it's kind of poisoning us because we're
just so bitter at how life turned out. I needed

(15:13):
a bigger vision, going to La, going on a TV show,
sharing my story, the possibility of a music career something
I did music Mahome, I.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Had hope, You had hope, and you had a place
to put your pain that could.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Serve others absolutely and.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yourself, and honestly, talking about stuff helps so much.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
The thing that I think, the more that we can
forget about ourselves and focus on something else is a
key to finding happiness, to finding purpose and a reason
to stay alive. And going on the show with this
mission of if I share my story, and of course
I was walking it out. Maybe they'll give hope to someone.

Speaker 4 (15:51):
You were just as raw as you could be.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
I mean, one of the someone who met me at
my concert said I had the gun out that day.
She said, my fiance committed suicide months earlier, and I
just couldn't live anymore. The TV's on in a different room.
She's in a different with the gun, getting ready to
commit suicide, and she hears a man crying on a TV.

(16:13):
That that sparked her. It just kind of did. It
was that they were telling my story and it asked
me questions about it, and she walked out. It's just
piqued her curiosity for the moment, and she saw me
sharing my story and she said from that point, she said,
if he can make it, I can make it. I mean,

(16:35):
this is one of many. So forgetting about ourselves, you know,
what's the one thing in our culture. I think that
maybe is putting us in a deeper pit. I know
we are thinking about ourselves too much.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
And our feelings and how we feel about stuff and
how it affects us.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
The ego and you're you're artist, right, you saying country music.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
Yeah, I've been an artist.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
We sorts for we are the top offenders m because
what do we do think about?

Speaker 2 (17:02):
You are your brand, You are your what you're putting
into the world is you.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
And your art's and entertainment. This is where you are,
This is where I am. We constantly have to be
on We constantly have to be this thing because we
want to keep people's interests, because the moment we lose
people's interests is the moment that part of our identity goes.
And it's so.

Speaker 4 (17:22):
And it's like, do you have value anymore? Or do
you have earth anymommer?

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Who am I?

Speaker 1 (17:26):
And so we think about ourselves more and then you
go into the whole why don't people like me?

Speaker 3 (17:30):
What do I need to do? What do I need
to change?

Speaker 4 (17:32):
How do I need to like sing a dance to
perform for you?

Speaker 3 (17:35):
So you love me? Agan?

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Why do you think I dance? And I'm no good
at it? I'm no good at it.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
I feel like you've come full circle though, though, And
if you ever did struggle with being an offender of self,
I feel like you have figured it out though, like
you have gotten to the other side.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Of that trying trying right, it's a it's a well,
here's what I'll learned make one good choice today because
I've been in depression. I've been in there was this
point in my life where I went through this deep
depression that I could barely get myself out of the couch.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Is it after your first wife passed?

Speaker 1 (18:13):
No, Well, here's the thing, Quibiana. I hate to admit this,
because the thing is, it's something that's always kind of
been in the back, like always just trying to creep
up to me when the situations are right, like a
new disappointment, a new right. I remember that during this season,
I was just feeling so heavy because like disappointment hit
me again, and I'm on the couch. And it's interesting

(18:34):
with like emotions, they can overtake you and you could
sometimes feel helpless by the emotions. Anyways, I remember I
sat there and I just said, Danny, my kids need
your kids need you.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
Okay, So you were a father at this point, I'm.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
A father this point, and I remember thinking, and I
had to have a real talk to myself. You haven't
always been like this? Yeah, do you feel like this now?
But have there been moments where you've been really happy,
really excited for life all these different things? I said yes,
So I said so to myself, it's like, I feel
like maybe this was God inspired. Certain decisions have gotten

(19:06):
you here. So if certain decisions I've got here. Because
when I when I was in that moment, I kind
of was just shooting up with these missile prayers, God
save me, get me out of this. Change this one
thing you know you're you don't want to take. I
didn't want to take any responsibility. It's like, please change this.
If you change this thing, then I'll change right. And
I remember thinking, Okay, God has an answer of prayer,
which made me want to get more depressed. Because I'm

(19:27):
a person of faith, I do music that inspires hope.
And then this thought occurred to me, choices got you here.
Make one choice today, one good choice, because every day,
if I make one good choice, it'll get me back
to the place where I need to be. And this
is such an important principle because I think in this society,
because you're on social media, I'm on social media, we

(19:48):
are social media kind of just births this more self
interested tendency because you're trying to get more views, You're
trying to get more eyes on your content, because it
pays often in many different areas But with that being said,
I just forgot the power of choice and how I
was making maybe bad choices, small little choices that got

(20:08):
me or well, so anyways, I hope that's not confusing.
My point I'm saying is making one good choice has
been a key changer in my life. Every day I
get up if I don't like, so listen. If you
don't like how your marriage is going right or relationships
are going you don't like, you maybe feel guilty about
how I could have probably raised my children better. I
could have been. You know, my kids are out the
age eleven, nine, six, four, and I've seen some of

(20:29):
my mistakes as a parent.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
It's easy. What are you.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
I'm not a good disciplinarian, but that's okay.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Your wife is.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
She's great, but she is. But I need listen. You
discipline your child, you will get because they discipline is
healthy and good for a child.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
And so many ways of discipline. Because I'm not a
disciplinarian either. Like I have a four and a half
year old and we we.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Co parent together.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Parents me like she is so strong willed and oh
and she is like yesterday she wanted to go get
tinted moisturizer and perfume so she could do her morning routine.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
She's four and a half.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
So we went and picked up we spread all these perfumes.
She got this tinted moisturizer, and I'm like, oh my god,
this is amazing. You're four and a half and you
are so like already knowing, like you got things you
want to pursue, you want to try, you're interested, you
want to do, and I'm like, I want all that.
And I love that she feels confident enough to express
herself and to disagree.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
With me like I don't.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
I'm not the type of parent that's like, if you
don't do as I say, like you're in trouble.

Speaker 4 (21:31):
Like I love that shop.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
I'm way because like the other day, we got this
dog and she named Ruby, and Sonny wanted to go
catch frogs outside and I let Ruby out and she
told me to put her in, and she came up
to me and she said, Mom, I think I've mentioned
this on the podcast. It just was such a moment
for me and I was happy about it where some
parents might not be. But she came up to me
and she said, Mom, I am so frustrated with you.
Right now, because I asked you to keep Ruby inside

(21:54):
when I was catching frogs, and you let her out,
And now I'm just frustrated at you, and like some
people might get mad at that, but I'm like, I
am so happy that she can express her emotions.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yes, we are the same, So I think that's actually good.
I think when I say discipline, I think probably the
best thing that I mean by that, because when people
hear discipline, like oh what are you doing, it's correction.
Because correction, like, for instance, if you are on a plane,
there's a destination that we all want to get to life.
If a pilot gets in a plane and he makes
no course corrections, he will end one degree off, will
end up in a different area. So with my children,

(22:25):
what I try to do I let them express themselves
because I wasn't allowed to express myself.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
And you said something to you, don't want to come back
to this after we talk about your kids. You always
felt you had this this feeling of doom, like God's
mad at me. You always felt like God was mad
at me. Is that because you weren't allowed to have feelings?
And let's come back to that. Yeah, but I do
want to talk about that because I feel like that
is a big thing with religion in general. Sometimes people
get under the fear of religion, that they are afraid

(22:49):
of religion, and then they're afraid of God and they
don't have like a loving relationship with him BECAUSEY feel
like he's mad if you do something wrong. Okay, so
let's circle back to that, because I do want to
talk about that because I feel like that I kind
of struggle with that and I had a refine my
relationship with God in a different way.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Well, I mean, I love that. I think with my children,
I just know that there's some very unhealthy things that
will lead them to a place like, for instance, iPads
right now, there is there's so much on those iPads
and comment sections even in kids' games that is affecting.
We're all being shaped by something and we don't realize,

(23:23):
you know. So anyways, with corrections, if I course corrections,
because I want to see my kids be respectful. I
want them not to be constantly thinking of themselves because
I see the downfall of that's you saw that Joe
Rogan podcasts or heard clips on it. I don't know
if you have about the lady's saying the reason why
we have such an epidemic of mental health is because
people constantly they're ruminating on themselves and on the problems.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
M H.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
And I just thought that that's so counterculture right now
because we have been through such a phase of find yourself?
Who am I? You know? And I think that's important,
But we're going about it the wrong way because we
are design and created. Know if you two ten that
we were created a masterpiece in Christ Jesus for good
works that were destined for us a long time ago.
So I think maybe we're looking down the wrong tunnels

(24:09):
to find ourselves. But anyways, let's go back to what
you were saying now, the question about religion. I think
that's interesting.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
So you were.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
You had a lot of fear, fear of hell, fear
of hell.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
So tell me about that, because I feel like this,
I kind of like stepped away from religion for a while,
and I now I have come back to it in
a whole new a whole new perspective because when I
kind of grew up and my parents were super open minded,
they weren't like forcing things down my throat, but just
the culture I grew up with, like the church culture.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
And like the only way.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
There weren't a lot of options to find your own faith,
like you know, there weren't. It was just it was
kind of like this is the way, and this is
the only way, and if you don't do this, you're
wrong going out.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
Or going to hell.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
And it's like that always felt so didn't feel correct
to me, but like you keep hearing these things and
so you believe it as a kid, and I as
I got older, I just had to go find faith
in my own way because I was like I can't
live in a faith where it's like all these people
are going to hell for just like having different thoughts

(25:16):
about things and your goal is still love because I
think ultimately like love your neighbor, like respect your neighbor,
Love your neighbor, respect humans make this world a better place,
use your gifts, like know there's something bigger and then
it's like but then there's all this like negativity that
came in with it.

Speaker 3 (25:32):
You know, it's like very scary for me.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
My biggest fear because Hell was such a tool. But
the thing is fear never begat's love. I guess you
could say you can't. It's like it's like hitting what
if I hit my wife. Let's say I hit my wife.
You're gonna love me if you don't, Right, They're gonna
love you out of a fear that it's not that's
not love that it'll be a submission. It'll be a full,

(25:58):
full type of love that is scared of who you are. Yes,
so that's not love. So anyways, I think my wife
her testimony is one of the best because she wasn't
raised in church. Now, hear me out, I don't think
I think being raised in church is great. I'm really
different how I raise my kids into faith because I
don't want I don't want them to choose Jesus because

(26:20):
they're scared. I love that the worst thing that you get.
Now is there a healthy fear? Yeah, so there's healthy fears.
Like there's bad fears and healthy fear. It's like, I
don't want my kid to have an unhealthy fear of fire.
Fire is hot, So don't you know you sit there
and like, if you have a healthy fear of that,
so you don't hurt yourself. People need to have a

(26:41):
healthy fear of God so they don't become an enemy
of God so to speak.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
And honestly, don't ruin their own lives.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
The biggest regrets that I have growing up is that
I thought I was doing God a service by trying
to be religious and be obedient demound strength. That was
the biggest God is not looking strength. Yeah, like, oh,
I don't want to go to Hell, so I better
stay away from this or stay away.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
Not doing it because your heart wants to do it,
You're doing it because you don't want to get.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
In trouble exactly. And I'm gonna tell you this, that's
not gonna go away. You're not you know, if we
look at so I'm not trying to project my faith
on anyone. So when I speak of this, this is
my experience when when I look at my faith walk,
it's about transformation.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
It's not about you trying to bend your will and
trying to white knuckle your way into reading your Bible,
white knuckle your way into church like I'm gonna do good.
My body's burning with lust. You know what I'm saying,
You're not gonna You're not gonna overcome it.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
No, true submit and suppressing it only makes so deeper
inside of you and comes out in awful secret ways
that you have shame about.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
See this is this is the talks that I think
that people need to have. Let me, uh, what do
they say? Feelings buried alive, they'll never die. They will
come out in surface. Because these are.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Feelings buried alive will never die. It gets pushed down
and comes out sideways.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
It comes out because remember, there is a root to everything,
why you feel and everything you do. Just like an
apple seed, the DNA of that seed is always to
produce apple trees. Every time you put a seed in
the ground with the right things, it could produce apple tree.
So if there is some kind of let's say wrong feelings,
there's a seed that's been planted, it's in the right

(28:25):
elements and it's producing that fruit. You can never stop
making an apple tree produce fruit until you go and
deroot the tree. So what I'm saying is, so my
wife never went to church at day in life, my
wife was she's Latina in music, Spanish music videos and
all the videos, and she's doing all these things, and
she's in the club scene. I mean, she's she's a

(28:47):
bottle server.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
She is just But Jesus is in the middle of
it all. God's in the middle of it.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
All she is one to her friend invites her kids,
what are you doing tonight? And she she said, I'm
going to club. You know what I do? Bro? You know, like, hey,
what do you think? She hadn't seen this friend along.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
She's in Miami, Miami. Yes, she's in the heart of
it all.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
I mean, she's bottle serving NBA players, NFL players, She's
getting asked out all the time.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
But she has a front row view to all that
there is, as far as.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Like everything, I mean, anything you.

Speaker 4 (29:23):
Could lust or want or have, it's right there.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
And she was living her life, Yeah, trying it all.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
Why not?

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, trying it and she her friend just doesn't even
tell her where she's going. He's going, gives them an
gives her an address because she hadn't seen him a while.
She grew up with this friend, like grew up. She
gets her. He goes, we'll stop here first. Okay, she
gets her. She goes, oh, it's a church. And the
preacher said this. She had no idea what he was saying.

(29:48):
The preacher said, even if you're going to the club tonight,
you can give your life to Jesus. She's like, oh,
I love church, raises her hand, praise the prayer. She said,
I don't even know hows.

Speaker 4 (29:57):
She knows she how did she feel called to do
that so quickly like that.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
I think it's only God. I think God, God knows
how to transform people.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
So she realized that she wanted to have God in
her life, but she thought it had to be an
either or I.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
Think, so, well, here's the rest of the story, and
you can and people can. I'll leave them with their
own conclusions, right, okay, because that's what that's what my
faith that if you read the scriptures, Jesus, let people
to their own conclusions. Say this walk away, right m hm.
So she goes to club that night. She's like, you know,
shaking it good kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
You can't help it.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
But slowly she noticed a transformation. So, like I said,
the seed was planted in her that day and of heaven,
and she just started transforming. She would say, it wasn't
in her own strength, it wasn't. I think this is
the most missing picture of the faith. It's not by

(30:57):
your might. It's not we can sit there and have
arguments to wear blue and face this is wrong, this
is wrong, this is wrong. Well, you're gonna keep doing
whatever quote unquote wrong is until it's just a natural Listen,
a dog going to be a dog, right, giraffe's gonna
be a giraffe. Humans going to do humans things. Uh,
unless there's just a supernatural change on the inside, you'll

(31:20):
notice your taste buds change, so to speak. Right, I
hate tomatoes like I cannot eat a raw tomato.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
I'm sorry, the fruit of so many wonderful things.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Man might have to disagree with. You eat spaghetti, okay,
so okay, right now, that's the very talk. But I
can eat tomatoes and beek with a guy. I can
eat tomato sauce, but you can sausa.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, just a flat out tomato. Though, Okay, that does
have a different taste. It is a different taste. The
tomato tastes different than when it's made into things.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
Exactly right. And so I don't even know my point is,
but I can't. Oh, here's my.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Point, like no tomatoes, tomatoes boom, bottom line.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
You look, you see, God can change the taste buds.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Though. It's true, though, You're so right, and I think
that that is kind of certainly back to what we
were talking about with your fear that you had of God.
I feel like I was upset with religion and faith
for a while because I just felt it felt so
intense and scary and heavy, and so many people were excluded.

(32:21):
You know, it's like you have to be this certain
way or else you're excluded. And it's somebody telling me
this that like you have to believe this because they
are the authority, when my internal self did not agree. Yeah,
you know, and I think that like having your own
personal faith, there's so many wonderful resources to look to
and incredible masters Jesus to follow, and I mean there's

(32:41):
a ton of spiritual people giving great advice, but ultimately
you have to have your own relationship you do.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
You have to have your own transformation. So my sister,
so we were raised into that heavy handed religion. And
my biggest regret is that I thought me saying no
to what you know in Christianity said was wrong. I
was somehow scoring points of God. You don't score any
points of God on your own basis. It is that is,

(33:09):
And I regret that because, like you said, feelings were
buried and they started coming out in every different way, and.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
You have anxiety for a long time, massive anxiety. Your
whole childhood and into your twenties, into my thirties, you're
just full of anxiety because you're where you're gonna do
just something wrong. Someone's watching it.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
And missing the point of So my sister, so I
kind of I look at my wife, who she just
did her thing because she wasn't trying to be fake
and in that moment she had that transformation. She's so
her faith is real, her faith is real.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
It's not scared. She's not scared of her fish.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
She is not scared one bit. So I have this.
Me and my wife are married, and and I'm scared
to push shove religion down the throat of my children
because I know what it did to me. Right, and
I'm diagnosed, like clinically diagnosed OCD. So what is OCD?
It's it's fear based. So you and I don't people

(33:58):
understand that, like you have OCD because you're fearful.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Hey, explain that, why is it se to be fearful?
Like you need everything to be the same so you
can control it.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Because since you have no control, you will try to
over control the things you can control.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
So if it's not, if things aren't where they belong,
then it messes you up. You start getting that feeling
of fear because it's not a control.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
People are checking the locks on the door twenty times
a night. Were you That's the one thing I didn't
deal with. Mine was very much different. I remember when
I was a kid, I'd over wash my hands. So
they just be like, it just scabs everywhere.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
You're scared they're dirty if they're dirty.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Because my dad, I know this is so weird. We
just open up the box, Pandora box. Here we go.
My dad because I had such a fear of sinning
against God and going to hell. Yeah, my dad would
be like, wash your hands before you eat food. So
if I dug in a bag of chips, I grab
the chip and I put in my mouth and I
touched my lip. I was like, I didn't wash my lips,
Therefore my hand is dirty again. I must wash my hands.

(34:54):
Like it was that.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
You were just living in constant like checking and balances
of what have I done wrong?

Speaker 3 (34:58):
Where am I sin?

Speaker 4 (34:59):
What is not right? So you're just in a constant anxiety.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
And that's that's not the gospel.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
And that's not God.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
No, it's not God.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Are you close with your parents?

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah, I talk. Yeah, my parents are divorced. Now, there
was an affair that my parents raised in church. I
remember my dad stopped going to church when I was fifteen.
That was like a crisis in my faith because it's
like the man who raised me in church, stop going
to you.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Put all this fear in you about God, in following
all the rules.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
I'm sure divorce was never an option.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
And then unfortunately the fair happens. My mom steps out.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Is your world wrecked now, like everything that you thought
you were supposed to do, So you don't go to
hell now you're parenting.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
This is the fruit of religious so hear me out,
There is fruit, right, and this is what people don't see,
like words are useless and empty because don't follow what
they say, follow what they do. Hey, hey, so when
I started learning my family, we were raised super religious.
But now there's an affair in my family.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
So there's probably a lot of fear with your parents.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yes, now, my all my sisters, my fifteen year old
sister gets pregnant.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
Fifteen year old sisters.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Seventeen, eighteen, all pregnant now out of wed lives.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
All the sisters get pregnant at the same time.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah, they did all the well.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Your family fell off, the it fell off.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
The fell off the wagon. And now I'm like.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Because it was so intense, everyone's living with such anxiety
and attention to be perfect that finally your parents broke
and they're like, we don't even want to be perfect.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
My sister becomes a stripper, going into and come to
find out she was molested as a child. But my parents,
but another family in the church, No, no, I was
just I should probably not this is not out in
my family yet listen to this.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
To cut that part up, I don't know. We won't
go into much more.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah, we won't go to much more detail.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
But which is that's the thing, because there was so
much fear and pressure and probably secrets. She probably didn't
feel like you could tell what was happening, because then
you're the one that's the sinful one, even though it
didn't happen.

Speaker 4 (37:01):
You know, it wasn't her fault.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
You know.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
It's like there's so much fear of telling the truth
of the darkness that's going on to you and inside
of you.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
Because we're all feeling these struggles.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
If I can give one message out to the world,
the message of the Gospel, of Jesus Christ. This is
my faith is not about you doing your best and trying.
The message is He came to save us a savior.
A savior does what saving And.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
We're not supposed to be perfect.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
You can't be aren't perfect. And this is this.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
Is, this is why religion is.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
I feel like, yeah, and this is the issue that
we're facing in our society today is and I think
people are so exhausted or trying to change themselves. This
is why, this is why now it's swung on the
other side of the pandem. I don't need the change.
I'm perfect as I am. And hear me out. Okay,
I might be hitting on so I want to be
very careful what I talk about because I don't I
don't expect everyone to understand what I'm saying, but just

(37:55):
hear me out. I love my wife because my because
God love works me. It's not natural for a man
to just love one wife. Men have this tendency to
want to go all over the place, right, you know
this is a transformation that works on the inside. Right, Yes,
it's not natural to be like I don't want to
gain millions of dollars. I want to give millions of
dollars away. This is transformation. This ever, it's so important

(38:22):
that we understand this about the gospels so that we
don't get it confused, because.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
As our human self and ego wants it all for ourselves.
What's going to give us pleasure, what's going to give
us comfort, what's going to give us desires? But when
you transform, it's God realize, You realize, what how can
I bless others desires?

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Change?

Speaker 4 (38:39):
Your desires change?

Speaker 1 (38:40):
And this is the human experience.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
You can't And that's.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
The point of it, I think, is to have that transformation.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
I feel like that's the ultimate point of being a
human is to hit that transformation where you realize and
then you do transform and you feel what it feels
like to actually live for something bigger, and it feels
so much better than living for yourself.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
It is huge. And think about this the scriptures used
and I'm not trying to preach anyone just I just
want to give people business yours and I want to
be careful about that because nature human what they call it.
The nature of a dog is to be a dog.
So when you talk about scriptures, say your nature, you
get a new nature. Understand what we're talking about here.

(39:23):
We're not talking about again, I'm gonna use a white knuckling.
We're not talking about trying. We're not talking about these things.
Nature changes and gets If a dog's nature changes and
it becomes like a cat, I can assure you you'll
notice the difference. You will notice a difference. So when
you're talking about human nature, now is there our part
yet we have to come into agreement right like we

(39:44):
have to you know, let it happen. There's a process
of letting it happen. Anyways, we've talked about so much.
I just hope that someone benefits from this and takes
the pressure off themselves because there's so much pressure on
us right now. We're about the pop.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
There's people are about to pop. I think it is
gonna pop.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
It's popping, it's and we're seeing it.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
People like in.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
The teens this day and age, the pressure they have
on them now with the social media and keeping up.
But with religion, I feel like I love that you
are a Christian singer. I love that you speak about
faith in God and that now it's this fully transformed
version instead of the fear base, because I feel like
that is in my opinion, the problem with religion is

(40:28):
people tell you have to do certain things this way
or you will not be loved and you will go
to hell.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
And somebody has the authority to tell you that, who's
not God.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
Like, that's just not.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
Okay, which is why I believe we're seeing the clash
in our culture. Just pay attention to our culture. You're slash,
well the class is, you'll see, okay. So, for instance,
there's these extreme people holding signs up like remember Westbrook Church.
Remember that was that Westbrook?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
What was it?

Speaker 1 (40:53):
I don't and like they would sit out there and
just condemn everyone's going to hell, like you don't.

Speaker 4 (40:59):
Follow this, you don't follow what regiment rule.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
What I said? And you could you could understand, Like
that's offensive to.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
Say if you don't believe what I believe, you're going
to hell.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah, because that's not that's not You didn't develop a
relationship with someone, you didn't care about them right where
they were.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Judgment which let's talk about ten commandments.

Speaker 3 (41:17):
Don't judge.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
You don't know this person's story. One of my favorite preachers,
if people get his name, is Miles Roe. He's dead now,
Miles Miles Mero he's from the Bahamas. He's a Bohemian preacher,
raised super poor. Talks about like sleeping on the floor,
you know, in his dirt hut that they live. But
one of the things he said, he said, one of
the things you should never do is going up to
people had him out of track and te him they're going

(41:39):
to hell. He says, you don't know the hell that
they're walking through in that moment, So get this right here.
So basically, when you like, for our our faith, like
what did Jesus say, Like he washed.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
Feet, he prostitutes.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Yeah, yeah, he he went and he had compassionate people.
So when he taught the kingdom, he first fed them
like there was a little bit of a bond there,
in a connection there. And every time Jesus would speak,
he was trying to he was trying to elevate their thinking.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
He was trying to and he.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Served people like washing feet and feeding them is serving them.
Before throwing a judgment on people, so and saying you're
immediately going to hell, he got to know you, and
he got to know your heart and it was always
with love, it was never with anger.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
So with the culture clash, we're seeing people now just
basically concreting their positions, no matter what the positions are,
and there's not any ability to really speak and really everything.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
Cancel culture all that, Like if you don't yeah, if
you don't do it a certain way, you're out.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
And cancel culture. That's a whole other thing, because it's yeah, anyways,
no one's changed because you've been canceled. Just like, remember
we talk about God giving us consequences of hell. Apply
that to humanity. Imagine one human giving you consequences because
you didn't quote unquote agree with them, and this human
is like, I'm going to cancel you, make you a
laughing stock of this culture. I will go on social

(43:06):
media and make you pay hell do you? Oh yeah,
that's gonna change my heart. You're not gonna put them
in fear and be like I can't express myself, I
really want to say something.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
Doesn't give them room to it doesn't give them room
to have redemption. Like that's the whole point of cancel culture.
That drives me freaking bananas is it's like you're going
to cancel someone for making mistake, which everyone makes mistakes,
but then you're not giving them a chance to redeem
themselves because we all need to redeem ourselves.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
You know. It's like you can't stop you can't stop.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
A movie in the middle of the disaster and not
like get to the payoff of it eventually. It's like
you have to let someone complete the cycle. And if
someone makes a mistake, you have to let them redeem themselves.
That's if you want to live like God, like to
cancel someone in the middle of a mistake and not
give them a chance to like make it right.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
That's not fair.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
It's it's not fair. And I went on this one
a marriage.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
It's not loving, it's.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Not loving, and overall learning one thing I want to do.
What is it? Is it not? I'm not Catholic, but
there's this what is it? Saint Francis as cec God,
where there's hurt, let me be healing, where there's hate,
let me let me show love. I think there's something
powerful in that prayer, right, I don't I'm not Catholic,
but I can adapt that. And because I'm like wow,
like that makes so much sense. I'm trying to figure

(44:17):
this out. So if people are listening to this podcast,
like if you disagree with me, man, I welcome that.
I'm not trying to change anyone, you know saying work.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
You're just trying to do the best you can for
your life and share what you learn.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Because I've seen a lot of success in it, and
I've seen a lot of help. I've seen a lot
of healing.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
Have you seen relief in your own life?

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (44:36):
Anxiety?

Speaker 1 (44:37):
Absolutely? Now, that's a process that took longer than I
wanted it to take, because religion is so ingrained in me.
Religious that that's why I love my wife.

Speaker 4 (44:47):
You'reately wrong, you're innately doing.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
It wrong exactly. And I love my wife's door because
she's like d ddy living her life and then she's like, oh,
hi Jesus, didy living her life changing and she's happy
as a clam.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
And is your wife living her best life?

Speaker 3 (45:00):
She is?

Speaker 4 (45:00):
We need to be like her. Yeah, she's she's got
the memo.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
She got the memo and it's I've been healing for you,
very healing. To watch her testimony because simply, like I said,
like all she did was rooted and grounded herself in
Christ Jesus, and a change came naturally and she.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Didn't do fear. She wasn't trying to be anything. She
wasn't she just let it happen.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
No, she let it happen when she made mistake, she
let God bring correction and she slowly changed. There wasn't
she wasn't expecting to be able to be perfect the
next day. I think there's something to be learned because
I did myself a disservice. But but you know, there's
there's two dispositions people take love disposition fear disposition, and
we all choose this. Even as a little kid in

(45:42):
the womb, we are making choices we don't even know.
There's power and choice. Remember when I went back and said,
make one good choice today, I wish I wouldn't recognized
because we're sometimes making choices even though we don't know
we're making choices, Like when we believe someone did us wrong,
we were mistreated and and we hold that that's where
bitterness starts. Sometimes you feel justified in making your choices,

(46:05):
but the best thing you could do the choice is
to forgive right.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
And also it takes maturity and awareness to realize when
someone does you wrong it has nothing to do with you.
Someone has the ability to hurt you and be mean
to you and like put venom on you. And in
any kind of way or try to tear you down
that actually has nothing to do with you. And I
that took me a long time to realize, like people
putting their stuff on me and it hurting me because

(46:28):
I'm so sensitive and empathetic, and I would think it
was my fault. It has nothing to do with me.
If someone can do that, that has everything to do
with what happened to them and the pain they're in.
That they can spew that venom on you, and.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
For us to take that, that gives them power over us.
Right when we allow someone to hurt us, to remember
there could be hurt. Like you've heard a Joyce Meyer, Yeah,
oh yeah, I love to you know she was raped
two hundred times by her dad. Are you if she
shares from a child, and she would pray for as
God save me, and God wouldn't save her, and that

(47:02):
really affected her grown up.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
Of course, one time she.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
Shares a story and I hope there's no kids listening
to this because maybe mom's you know, closeure ears there
was one time where her dad took it to her
cemetery and raped him, raped her and then a police
stopped him, and then he offered her to the police officer,
and an officer did what he did?

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (47:19):
No?

Speaker 1 (47:19):
This is true facts, this is this is real.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
And she has gone on to find redemption and become
Joyce Meyer.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
Because she made a choice. Do you think she wanted
to forgive her dad? Do you think she wanted to
forgive her mom?

Speaker 3 (47:31):
Because she's was too much for We see that.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
I'm like, there's a limit I can forgive and tell
a limit and not I hit my limit.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
But it's like, gosh, that's even then.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
And look at how big her testimony is now and
how many people she affects because she did forgive. Oh
my gosh, people are so terrible.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Remember this, right, we look at that, we say, that's impossible.
How can someone she remember? Transformation is God working through you.
Can you imagine the power in the might of God
if God has the ability to forgive the people who
murdered his son. And I mean, you remember Passion of
the Christ like I could barely watch? Did you watch
the mel Gibson Passion the Christ? Oh? Dude, it is

(48:06):
gruesome two thousand and four movie. Anyways, but she shares
how she this was one choice. Every day, says when
she was eighteen. She got out the house as fasts
she could. Now she's dealing with the bitterness, all these
different things.

Speaker 4 (48:19):
You never got pregnant or anything.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
I don't know. That's one thing I don't She could
have had many abortions, you know, you know, because people
you know, didn't want to hide the rape that's happening.
But she talks about who she is today, and she
talks about the process and even like she'd grown so
much and she started this ministry helping women and men.
And then the Lord tells her, I want you to
take care of your parents and remind you her dad

(48:41):
never apologized to her.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
Never she took care of him.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
She at support, She had to pay for all their housing.
She became like their caretakers and hiring people. And she
remember the Lord telling them do that. She said, I
do not want Lord, I can't believe you're making me
do this. But she obeyed. She made that choice. I'm
not going to trust myself. Felt called to take she
felt called to take care. And she talks about her dad,

(49:08):
like a week before he died. Her mom's like, you
need to get into the to the room wherever they're at,
because I think he moved to the hospital. Then he's
balling his eyes out and he finally I think it's
the last week of his life. Could be wrong, at
least last year of his life. He says, I did wrong.
I want you to forgive me. See, she forgave you.

(49:29):
Understand this, the power of choice. Is she justified in
saying this was wrong. God didn't answer my prayer. This
is not fair. Absolutely, But where does that take you?

Speaker 3 (49:38):
To bitterness?

Speaker 2 (49:39):
To bitterness and anger, and it's going to ruin her life.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
The root of bitterness defiles you on the inside. It'll
defile your children, it'll defile your bloodlines. Because even though
you're justified, she said, her dad accepted Christ in the
hospital in that spot.

Speaker 4 (49:56):
You know, she forgave him.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
She or she forgave before he ever even asked. This
is a whole new thing. This is if our culture
can grasp this right here, the power of forgiving someone
before they ask is sets you free.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
It's for you, it's for you, it's for your children, it's.

Speaker 4 (50:14):
For your life and your future generation.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
Oh, it is so power. What a story that that
woman has.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Wow, I didn't not I've been a fan of her forever,
you know, because I see her talking, I'm always like,
that's real, that's real, real, that's real, that's real. Like
she's talking about God. But I'm like, I don't, I don't.
It's none as bs. It's all real. And because she
has a real relationship, so she's not faking this.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
You can see now think about like thinking to like
the realm of like the spirit. She's got fruit just
growing all over. People are taking the apple from her tree.
Biden it learning.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
It's so what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
So remember we talked about like, don't follow what they say,
follow what they do. When the combination of do and
say lines up, you are new there. N that's the
best way to put it. Yeah, I'm adopting that. You
become nuclear nuclear.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
And it's because it's so rooted in the truth and
you feel it. It's honest.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
And that's the thing. You know, when people we talk
about holiness, you talk about holiness, right, but like that
word is so formed. What is holiness? Holiness actually means
what you say, what you do, separate, you become separate you.
And that's what makes God different from everyone else on
this planet. What he says, what he does never changes.
And that makes someone nuclear, right, when you know that

(51:37):
someone is one, there's not multiple. You don't know if
this person's over here, over there, he does they say this,
they do this, and you're like, it's it's like a
it's a dissonance between personalities. He's one. I want to
be one, Danny.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
I love your journey though too.

Speaker 2 (51:53):
The fact that you have gone on this journey and
you started off with such a fear base of God
and now you have transformed it into a true loving
relationship and now you're speaking that, singing it to others.

Speaker 4 (52:03):
You have a new album out which is so good.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
One of it.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
I was listening to one of your whole families in
that video Sound of Heaven. Yeah, and let's just kind
of briefly talk about what inspired this album.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
So Sound of Heaven like your eighth album.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Oh well, could you have like five studio albums Spanish album.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Christy album, Chris Aum album, It's It's a lot eight Hey,
August eighteen and eight album. Let this hit, Lord get it.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
It's gonna be great.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Your life is divinely inspired. It's gonna be perfect.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Man. I appreciate that. That's really encouraging. Sound of Heaven
is you know it's Heaven is not just one song.
I think if you know, can't be racist and go
to Heaven right because you get to have you like,
oh my gosh, every nation, every tribe, every tongue represented Heaven.
You know it's Heaven. Sound of Heaven shows all the
different sides of me because I grew up so eclectic

(52:53):
around so much culture. I do worship, I do pop, uh,
Spanish music, all these different things. I put it in
this album, and I think it just represents something. You know,
Heaven is not just gonna be one certain way people think.
Get to Heaven is gonna be boring, like be in
the cloud home.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
It's perfect.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
It's gonna be the biggest party. I mean, I can't
wait for the thousand your feast. I like to eat,
and then you don't get fat, you don't get all unhealthy.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
Let's go so you're this is just.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
The joyous experience It's gonna happen when you get to Heaven,
all all of it.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Sound of Heaven is full of joy, Sound of Heaven
is full of hope. Sound of Heaven's makes you want
to dance. There be a lot of dancing. The best
dancers are in heaven right now, Like you think the
good Dancers. Don't you think Michael Jackson had it? Wait
till you get to Heap. There's gonna be better ones
than that. I mean, think about that. You are. Oh
my gosh, it's amazing singers. Yeah, it's it's just an

(53:46):
album that represents me. I think it's my best album yet,
and I think it's got some heart truths in ear.
I write this song it's called makeup, and it says
wake up. I think the devil's trying to play us.
He's Mesma rides with the makeup, but it's made up.
Open your eyes. Don't buy all the lies, because evil
is dressing up the fool of people. You know. We

(54:08):
there's a lot of things that can potentially look good,
but they're actually harmful, right me, I didn't realize how
harmful it was for just to be fear based. But
it looked good everyone as a kid. Oh while that
kid's got it together, Oh he looks good. Nah, wake
up dying. I'm being played by religion, right, and it's
not the real deal. It's not you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Yes, yes, yes, And there's different.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Ways to to to apply that in different things.

Speaker 4 (54:36):
But yeah, I'm excited for you and you're going on tour.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Going on tour, take take the take back to her
take tour. Me and my buddy torn Wells. Heck, yam
fired up about this. Gonna be like, it's gonna be
a party on steroids.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
For this.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
Uh, it's just gonna be. He is such a brilliant artist.
He's a pastor now he became a which is I think,
is you know much about torn Wells?

Speaker 2 (55:02):
What's his name, torn Wells, torn thorn Wells.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
He's from Houston. He's he's just such a he you
want to talk about. Like he studied Michael Jackson growing up,
so he's like this Christian artist that can move like
Michael Jackson.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Oh okay, so you're not joking.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
It's a party on stages. So he uh, he gets it.
But we're touring together. He's blown up. He's really talented.

Speaker 4 (55:24):
That's gonna be so fun.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
And I just want to say one thing to kind
of wrap up so many of the conversations we had
for everyone listening. No one is as bad as the
worst thing they've ever done, and no one is the greatest,
is the best thing they've ever No one is as
great as the best thing they've ever done.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
So like if you've done something terrible, like even the.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Joyce Meyer story, the fact that her father finally hit
his knees before he died, Like, I don't want to
forgive him. I'm so mad at him right now from
hearing that story. I don't want to forgive him. I
want him to suffer. But that is not correct, because
something happened to him that made him be able to
be that monster, you know, and so there's something so
so awful inside of him that happened to him that
no one is born a monster. You become a monster

(56:01):
because things happen to you, and then it makes you.
You take it in, you internalize it, You become dark,
and then you spread that darkness to others because you
don't find the light. But no one is as bad
as the worst thing they've ever done, and no one
is good as the best thing they've ever done.

Speaker 4 (56:16):
And we're all in that spectrum.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
And so forgiveness and growth and keeping to find the
light and realizing when you have anxiety, when you're doing
things that feel wrong inside of you, you don't have to
keep doing that there's another way, and just find the
other way and.

Speaker 4 (56:30):
Forgive yourself, let yourself be forgiven, let yourself change, let
yourself move towards the light you know.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
And that everything can work out together for your good.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
And you can be redeemed. Anyone can be redeemed.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Absolutely, it's for everyone, the worst sinner to the everywhere
else sinners.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Yeah, because I think there's people who are listening to
have been hurt by religion so deepent.

Speaker 4 (56:52):
So deeply like you, yep, and look at you.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
You've been on this lifelong journey to redeem that hurt,
to find the truth of what religion was true, trying
what you thought it was, but the truth of what
God is, not what religion says it is.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
Yeah. And I think what I had to do, though,
is I had to put down my pride because immediately
you want to become obstinate and in concrete like I'm
gonna make up my mind I'll never do anything with
God again. Right, you hurt yourself more. It's it's realizing
I could be wrong. It's one of the biggest things
I could be wrong about what I believe.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
And then not having to hold fast to what you've
done in the past because you got to your egos
and not.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
Pride, like I gotta stay strong. And I what I said,
I was letting yourself change, letting yourself drop it.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
There's hope, there's hope, there's hope.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
I love that. I always wrap up with leave your light,
And it's just an open ended question to inspire people.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
What do you want people to know?

Speaker 1 (57:44):
I think it's a good question. I gotta I gotta
pos what do I want them to know? I think
it might just go back. That's the one thing I'm
kind of just harpening. It's this. I want you to
know that you might not change overnight the things that
you don't like about life, right But the hope is
that one good choice today, one good choice, and wake

(58:08):
up every day and say, what's Because there's people who
are in deep depressure right now, feel hopeless, feel like
there's just no way out. What's one good choice you
can make today? Make that choice, get up every morning
because you don't have to sit in that thing and
that anxiety, you don't have to sit in that condemnation,
that shame, the regret of your past mistakes. You can

(58:28):
make one choice today and that could lead to another
good choice, and you could see yourself a year from
not just completely a transformed person what you wear.

Speaker 4 (58:36):
And you don't have to hold on to your mistakes
like we feel like we have to hold on her
mistakes like they're like tattooed on our body, Like we
can't let them go. You can let them go.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
It's poisoning you. People think that you become better because
you hold on to your mistake.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
Yeah, like you're holding onto this mistake that you made
and so.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
You're like never gonna forget it, and you're gonna punish
yourself forever.

Speaker 4 (58:52):
But that's it.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
You're punishing yourself.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
And you know, people like that become really pharisee. They
come hard on themselves and hard on other people. That's
you don't want to do that.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
You gotta let go of your mistakes, forget it, but
then you know, change, learn their lesson, make the change
and move on and let it go.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
I love that. Thank you, Danny Gokey.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
We stick around for like a little quick one this
episode with some burning questions. Let's go okay, Danny Goky
You're awesome, This is so fun.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
Thank you for joining.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Thank you