Getting Real with Kelly Chase: Why She Said “I Don’t” and Found Her Real Soulmate — Herself

Kelly Chase — known from Love Is Blind Season 1, where she made the bold decision to leave her fiancé at the altar — has since gone on a powerful journey of self-discovery. In our conversation, she opens up about how that pivotal moment became the catalyst for deep healing, personal growth, and radical self-love. Kelly shares how she learned that her true soulmate was herself all along, and how she’s now helping other women break free from patterns, heal from within, and step into their most authentic, confident selves.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Caryl Lone. She's a queen and talking hey song, you
know she's getting really.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Not afraid to feed your t soul and soul. Just
let it flow.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
No one can do we quiet, Cary Lone, It's time
to Caroline.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
I am so excited to be here with Kelly Chase.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
You guys probably know her from season one of Love
is Blind.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
But you have really gone on a journey.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Like to the depths of your soul and you are
now coming out and teaching women how to be your
most authentic, fullest, truest self.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
But did this journey start because you went on Love
is Blind?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Hi, Hello, Kelly. Everything we need to know your depth,
all the secrets, all to the nth of your degree
of your heart. Oh my gosh. Yes, and no.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
I had started a whole like personal development and like
self love journey prior to filming Love is Blind.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
But just like that year, because we filmed right around
like October November of twenty eighteen, and it was like
August of twenty seventeen when I decided to like quit
doing all the things that I was doing and like
just one eighty my life.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Like what things were did you quit? And what things
did you.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Start, So I, well, I'm I'm in corporate America and
now too. But I was working a corporate job back
then that I was with for like eight years, and
I basically was, you know, working my nine to five.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Also, I was health coaching.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
I'd launched a health coaching you know, got certified as
a health coach, was in thirteen. So I was doing that.
I was like a fitness trainer. I was teaching cycling classes.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I was doing all of that. Like Monday through Thursday
was really good for me.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
And then like actually my classes were like Friday morning,
so midday Friday really.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Good for me.

Speaker 4 (02:18):
And then it was like the weekend came and I
was like, I'm so tired from like hustling all week basically,
and I found myself just binge drinking and really just
you know, going out all the time and spending money
I probably didn't need to be spending in that regard,
not intentionally investing in myself.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
And granted I didn't know it at the time until
I pulled away, but like I didn't know I was
so disconnected from myself, Like even the work, although like
all great things, I didn't like my nine to five
at the time I was so again, I was there
for like eight years, and I felt like I was
just kind of like a hamster on a wheel getting

(03:00):
a paycheck automation, like this is just what you do
as an adult. You just like get a job, start a.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
Family, which I haven't done yet, but you know, it's
like it's just like we go to college, we get
a job, we do the things.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
And that was how I felt my life was, and
all of the things that I was doing, I felt
nothing was getting me closer to like what I really wanted.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
And so like even you know, just I didn't know
I wanted to be an entrepreneur, like I didn't come
from a family of that, and so I was just like, okay,
like I this health coaching thing is kind of like
just a side business, like I'm just doing it. But
I felt like I was always like chasing money in
a sense too, and I'm like, okay, well, I'm doing

(03:42):
all these like side hustles in order to like be
able to go keep up with the Joneses and do
things with my friends and go on trips and things
like that.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
So that was kind of the start of.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
It, was that realization, and I had had like a
like a work romance that didn't go the way I
would have would have liked it to.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Go back then. I mean, this was ten years ago,
but you know it was.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
I was basically like, I don't like I can leave
my job, like I don't care, like I don't have
to be in this.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
Like the guy basically was like I can't date someone
that I work with, and I'm like, well, well, you
shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. I didn't
think I liked you at first, but you know, I
did develop feelings for the guy, and I was like,
I can't keep doing this. And he actually resigned two
weeks before I did, and I was like, damn it.
I was like, you weren't supposed to do that, Like

(04:33):
I was supposed to go first, because I was like,
it was like we were on a team, and I
was thinking, I'm like, oh my god, like our whole
team just like we're leaving. So yeah, like it was
just like the three of like there were three of
us on it team.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
So the one lone ranger was like thanks.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
A lot, Yeah, pretty much, And you know, and it
did impact me in the sense of, like, well he
just put his two weeks notice, like, I can't do
that to my team member. But then I just got
real with myself and I was like, it doesn't matter
if you do it today or in two months from now,
like you got to pull the rip chord. So I
did it and it was fine. But yeah, that was

(05:09):
kind of the start of everything. And you know, it
was interesting the I read the book The Life Changing
Magic of Tidying Up.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yeah, are you pretty tidy?

Speaker 1 (05:20):
I am?

Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yeah. I mean it feel pretty tidy too so much.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
But I am so tidy that I know where everything
is in every drawer. I'm not saying it's always like
perfectly put together, but like I know where what we
have and what is here and there is nothing extra.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
Oh yeah, I'm constantly like letting go of things too.
I'm like, oh, this doesn't feel like if this jacket
that I'm wearing right now, if I was like I
feel restricted, I'm like toss it. Whereas so I would
have catched it in my closet, looked at it, stared
at it every single time I went, and there'd be like,
that's cute. But oh I put it on note and
I just would hang it right back up. And now
I'm just like, I am with you.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
If it is not a full body, yes, I am
not doing it. Yeah, there's no point. And like if
I'm not completely comfortable and close.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
They're out.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, they're out. Yeah exactly.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
So I read that book and that was kind of
that was right before I put in my two weeks Notice,
and I was like, wow, this isn't just about like
tiding up the physical space, like it was so much
more emotional and mental and everything.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
And I was like, yeah, okay, we got to let go.
I was like, let's resign.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
Let's just focus on the health coaching and the fitness
training and start listening to podcasts and reading personal development books.
And so that was my first like personal development book
that kind of got.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Me to like, let's do it differently. Now.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
It greatly impacted you, like it changed your life?

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah yeah. And then obviously I've read like I was
never a reader, like I just it was funny because
a coworker, actually a male coworker, bought the book brought
it in and he was like, hey, do you mind
reading this or reading some of this because I want
to gift it to my wife, but I don't want
her to take it offensively and when I got done
with it, I was like, well, she might take it

(07:04):
a little insulting because you're like basically telling her she's
a hot mess and she needs to clean up your house.
I said, but she also may feel the same way
that I did and get the same like personal development
perspective from it. So so at this point, are you
a full entrepreneur at this point?

Speaker 3 (07:21):
Now?

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Is this the first time in your life that you've
just been a full entrepreneur when you when you quit.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Your job, oh back when I quit my job at
this point in the timeline, yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yes, it was was that scary. It was. I mean,
I had I think twenty K and savings and I
was like, I have a lot of money. That money
went y real quick. Yeah, So but twenty K, I
was like, I'm rich right now. And you know, obviously
I was making money like bringing and come in with
the coaching as well as the finished training and it

(07:53):
was good.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
But I made some really big investments, like in my
health and in my business. I hired my first like
business coach during that time in twenty eighteen, and which
was super scary because I'm like, I'm putting this on
an American Express because I not that, Like, I mean,
the twenty k was dwindling, but I felt like I
was making very positive investments, although at the time I

(08:15):
had not really done any money mindset.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Work, so I was like, nope, I'm going into debt.
This is happening.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Like did the business coach help you?

Speaker 1 (08:25):
It did? Yeah, yeah, it was so helpful. I mean
I basically from twenty thirteen to twenty eighteen, I called
myself like I'm like I was throwing spaghetti against the
wall hoping that it would stick, Like, how do you know,
and you've.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
Got you have to start. I feel like that's well,
how old were you in this time period? Like were
you in your thirties?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Let's see that was yeah, yeah, early thirties.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Okay. I feel like for me that happened too.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
When I was in my early thirties, like twenties, I
was like, Okay, I know I can just kind of
explore around do some things that I'm passionate about. But
like when you hit your thirties, did you get that
feeling of like, oh my god, I kind of need
to like get my shit together, Like I got to
figure some things out. I can't just like meander through life.
Like I have to like figure out what my passion is.
How am I going to make this into a job,

(09:12):
Like if you're not just gonna work a nine to five,
if you want to be an entrepreneur and if you
want to pursue what's in your heart, it's like, how
do I turn this into something that's financially successful? And
then there's the whole feeling of like the pressure of
getting married, which I'm wondering if that's what led you
to love is blind because.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
You're like, let me give this a shot because dating
is so hard.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
But it's like there's so many pressures that hit I
feel like especially for women when you hit that thirty period,
it's like I don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
For me, I felt the pressure cooker for sure hit me.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's interesting because not necessarily that I have felt a
pressure around it. I mean, of course, like my mom
wants to be a grandma so bad, but she's always like,
but don't settle, Like I don't want you to just
like settle for anything. I want it to be true love.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
Because my parents just celebrated their forty fifth wedding anniversary,
so and that's like not a.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Common thing these days. So and not that their marriage
or love is perfect, but you know, it is inspiring.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
And they grew together.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
My parents they are right at fifty years too, and
it's like the fact that like people stay together and
grow together and go through those hard times together.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
It's really something I'm proud of. You know it.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Obviously not everyone needs to stay married, but like, I
admire that so much. I do too, I definitely do.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
I know.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
My mom's like, see, your father and I got married
when we were in our early twenties. We grew together,
we learned a lot, blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
You're like, and she goes now and I just turned
forty about two months ago, and she happy birthday, Welcome.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
To the forties. Eggs woo woo.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
I had for like, when I was like thirty eight,
I started prepping for forty. I was like, I kind
of what you're talking about. I want my mindset to
be here. I do not want to carry my thirty problems.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Into my forty decade.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, it is so so much, I mean, And it's
funny because I've been having conversations just in those last
month and a half. I'm like, I don't know if
it's like I mean, it was just like such a
profound mindset shift. But I was like, I just don't
want to people please anymore. Like whatever whatever hanging on
to people pleasing that I was doing in my thirties,
I don't want to do it anymore. Like I'm living

(11:14):
for myself, like obviously on compassion, I hold space for
other people, and I love that, you know, I want
to help and impact other people's lives. But I feel
like I have just been such a people pleaser for
so long that I'm like, dang, I want to do it.
It's so heavy and it's exhausting, and I'm just like
I don't hear.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Just what was your turning point? What was your breaking point? Sorry?

Speaker 1 (11:33):
The dogs are going crazy? Okay, okayby you're okay, You're good.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Come on, Like I can't even hearts my side, got hello?
Why uh?

Speaker 1 (11:44):
There's so many people outside, So the dogs are just patrolling.
You know, it's their job. They have big jobs to do.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
What was your turning point?

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Because I had that same thing happen and I want
to get back into I want to like talk about
like the loves of Miline experience. Just I know that
was a profound moment in your life. That like sitting
on a journey, but like, what was the turning point?
Because I had that when I was thirty eight, I
was I had a daughter who was two or she
was yeah, she was.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Almost two, and I was like, I cannot be.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
A woman the woman that I want to be, and
like showing up as a confident like loving myself, looking
in the mirror and going like I love who you are,
I'm proud of you, Like I am authentically showing up
as myself.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
I was so worried. I felt like I had no value.
I felt like I had to prove my worth.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
I would walk into a room and immediately feel everyone's
energy and like, what do I need to bring to
you to make sure you love me so you can
love me so I can be validated, And if I'm validated,
then I have worth.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
And I did that for so long.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
I was just always checking the temperature of everyone around
me to make sure they were happy, because if they're
not happy, then I can't be happy. And what I
found out because I did a life coach too, is
I actually realized that that's a.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Form of control.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's high functioning codependency because I'm acting like I'm so
easy going and so nice and people pleasing, but behind that,
I'm controlling the situation, shifting my personality to make sure
everyone's happy so that I can be happy.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
And really no one gets to know who.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
I am because I'm not showing up authentically, right, showing
up who I.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Think you need me to be so you'll love me.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh absolutely absolutely, I thank you for sharing that. I
feel the scene. So many women feel this way though,
and do this, and they don't even realize it. They
think they're being so nice and selfless, which being selfless
I think is actually terrible. Oh absolutely, you know so.
But it's like you don't even realize that you're not
being selfless, you're being a high function codependent, and you're
actually controlling the situation. I love that explanation. That makes

(13:39):
total sense. It's not for me. It's from Terry Clark.
She wrote this book called Too Much, and it changed
my whole life. I did not know the high functioning
codependent until I read her book and.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Had heard her lecture, and I was like, WHOA, my
life was shift.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
Yeah, I should probably go back to read that codependency book.
But yeah, I feel like there's been a few different
you know, like life like whoa like awakening kind of moments.
I mean obviously like that, like making that decision to
leave that corporate space back in the day and just
choosing myself and letting go of a lot of activities
and behaviors that I was caught up in. But you know,

(14:14):
after we got done filming Love is Blind, I invested
in another like business and mindset coach, and that was
more of like a one on one. The business coach
I had hired prior to filming was more like a mastermind.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
There were co coaches involved and all of that. And
the girl who I hired after filming was one of
the co coaches in that program.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
I just like was really she was talking about more
like money mindset and you.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Know how our worth is associated with a relationship with
money and all of that, and like masculine and feminine
energies and it was just like foreign concepts to me.
And I'm like, but my like little soul was like
I want to learn more. I'm like leaning in so
much to this.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
And then I started just following and investing in other
programs too, with other mindset coaches, and it just kept
awakening things inside of me and like you know, they
say you're actually you're like remembering who you actually are.
So it's been extremely helpful to be involved in programs
and you know, participate with certain coaches that I have.

(15:13):
But that kind of stuff was like really life changing
for me. But when like Love is Blind aired, I mean,
the extreme people pleasing came out. But I feel like
the last handful of years, I mean, since it aired
with the people pleasing, there's like I have experienced a
lot of self abandonment because I'm like when the show aired,

(15:36):
I was like tagged as a health coach, and from
filming to it airing, which was like fifteen months, I
decided I was like, I really want to start transitioning
from like only talking about nutrition and fitness into more
of like the mindset space and like entrepreneurship and leadership
and all of this. And I had like my content

(15:57):
had started shifting. And then thirty million view.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
Saw that I was a health coach and the viewers
watched it.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yeah, I was one of those viewers.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
I have only watched your season and I remember when
you said no at the altar, and I was like,
holy shit, what just happened?

Speaker 3 (16:15):
And the world.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
The world stopped breathing, Like it was literally like what
you got to the altar and.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
Now you said no?

Speaker 1 (16:22):
And so now you have thirty million people having a
huge opinion about this choice that you've made, and I'm
sure the judgment of all forms, good, bad, ugly, everything
just came pouring out thirty million people. Yeah, my god,
Yeah I didn't. I mean I didn't know that at
the time, but yeah, thirty million viewers watched Love is
Land season one. I mean it was I started it.

(16:46):
I think we all started it because we're like, what
is this show? This feels so so interesting, it's so weird.
But then you watch it and you're like, Okay, this
is crazy. But like you're in pods and like we're
seeing y'all and like y'all are talking and people, like
you said in some of your interviews, people are at
making connections like you didn't think you were going to,
but like you actually formed a connection to the point
where y'all decided to try the engagement, right, which was crazy.

(17:10):
I still feel like it was a whirlwind, Like what
it was crazy? Oh?

Speaker 3 (17:16):
Crazy? Did you?

Speaker 1 (17:18):
And I saw some more interviews you did You said
you didn't really there wasn't like bickering within the cast,
Like you weren't like fighting with the other girls for guys,
y'all kind of like all landed on your own person.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
That's so bizarre that that worked out like that.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
Yeah, and or I mean, like I remember there was
like two other girls that also had interest in Kenny,
and but there was one of the girls in particular,
she like came out from a date and she like
looked at me and she was like, oh my god,
it's you. And I was I was like huh, and
she goes, he said that he had a stronger relationship

(17:52):
with one of the girls, like like you, but I
have a strong relationship with one of the other girls.
And I don't know if he said like my name.
I guess he did, because yeah, I guess he said
I have a strong relationship with Kelly. And so when
she came out, she was like, oh my god, it's you.
Like of course, it is like I can see that totally.
I have a stronger connection with this guy over here.

(18:15):
I definitely have a strong connection with him. But she
was like, what makes total sense? Okay, sounds good.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Like you like people, You like the fact that you
just got to know someone like was it was that
liberating in a way that like you're not there's nothing physical,
you're guessing what they look like. I mean, can you
ask how tall they are or how much they weigh,
or what their hair looks like or how it could Yeah,
you definitely could.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
I do remember someone asking me and I just said
I was like, that's like not the point of this, right, So.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, you're falling in love with the actual soul. Yeah,
oh yeah, it's very spiritual. It was very spiritual.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
It was.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
It was so wild. I mean, I like shake because
of it.

Speaker 4 (18:59):
Like it's it felt like when you know, before we
had cell phones, right, it's like when we call your
cell phone, you're called like your crush up, you know,
and you have to like go to like your basement,
not to like wake the whole house up, because you're
like calling each other late at night, you know, sitting on.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Your base talking for hours.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:14):
So it was like that, like you would get butterflies
going into the past, especially because you didn't they wouldn't
necessarily tell you who you were going to meet. They
would kind of keep it open. So like we were
kind of doing process of elimination that kind of thing.
So of course, maybe like the last you know, day
or two, you knew that it was one of the

(19:35):
three people that you know you were choosing, but you
still didn't know which one of those three necessarily that
you were going to walk into the room to talk to.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
So it was fascinating. So when did you have the
moment where you're like, I think I could love this
person and this could actually work and I actually might
be able to marry this person, And.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Like, is it because you're just getting so deep so fast?

Speaker 4 (19:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, Well my head, I mean honestly,
my head and my heart were not connecting the whole time.
And I think it was like, I mean every probably
trauma that I've never really dealt with was coming up,
and you know, it's like I want love, but like.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
I'm afraid of it at the same time, So why
are you afraid of it? Well, I've done a lot
of work. I've worked with a lot of relationship coachhous
too in the past few years.

Speaker 4 (20:23):
But I don't know, I mean, I'm not as afraid
of it now, but I just being really honest with myself,
even over the last six months, I'm like someone so
great could walk in front of me and be like,
I want to be with you, and.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
My whole body would be I don't know. I don't know,
I think because there's probably still some avoidant, like just
some unresolved trauma or childhood wounds that I really haven't
I guess addressed, but I don't know what they are.
Like I even I started working with a new therapist
recently and she was like, you know, it seems like
you're attracting good people, but yet are not ready to

(21:00):
make that commitment. And I'm like, I know, and she
goes and like, obviously I've expressed about my family life
and everything. She's like, I don't really understand why you're
why you're kind of still attracting these like emotionally available
or like avoidant men because you don't have like daddy issues,
like you don't know anything like that. I'm like, I know,
I don't. I don't know either. I always was like

(21:30):
I never and you had someone on your podcast and
she talked about she was very beautiful, she likes to
date kind of like ugly guys, because she said it
makes her make I guess like her, it makes her
more comfortable to be her full self because she's not
worried potentially about them being so good looking or so
attractive that they're gonna like I don't know, maybe it
just makes her feel unequal playing field that they're not
gonna leave or something. I didn't like get the whole

(21:51):
details of her reasoning, but like I kind of understand
that although I feel like my husband's very handsome, but
like I always felt when I was dating, like if
someone actually gets to know me, they're going to realize
I'm a fraud.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
And I don't want.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
To date someone who is too spectacular because I can't
level up to them. Like that's what I used to think,
is like I can't match their greatness, so like I
can put on a front. And I used to be
super defensive and like kind of like like a snippy
like I would kind of be like a little feisty
with people because I wanted to try to get an
upper hand because I was always like, if you actually

(22:27):
found out who I am, you're going to realize I'm
not special. There's nothing great about me. There is, like
I'm not worthy. I don't have any great like anything
that makes me this special, amazing person, and you will
find that out if you get to know me, and
so like I was always afraid to show myself to people,

(22:47):
Well that was what was holding me back. That's interesting.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
Well I know that the like I guess the conversation
with my therapist and just something I've been aware of
too is just like I'm very nice and again it's
kind of the people pleasing, but I don't. I like confrontation,
and I like, I don't mind having good conversations with people,
but like in the moment, I have a tendency not

(23:16):
to express myself fully with men. And you know if
and maybe it's because like I just I don't.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I don't like I wouldn't if my husband ever called
me a bitch, I would be like, get the fuck
out of my house, Like I don't love it, like
I don't, and I don't want to be that nag.
I'm not here to like mother my husband, Like I
don't love that. So I've been I guess I guess
I like bypass the conversation but bring it up again

(23:46):
later when I'm like more grounded. I've had trying to
think about how I want to approach it.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
But I also feel like men kind of need you
to put them in their place sometimes and me just
having a kind conversation about it. Although yes there's gonna
be a motion involved, I feel like they're.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Like okay, Like I don't know, it's not the same.
So I feel like.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
That's a part of what I would like to work on,
is like how am I feeling in the moment, just
say it?

Speaker 1 (24:13):
But I feel like in the past, why I haven't
one because what I just said, I don't want to
feel like that naggy kind of girlfriend. But I also
feel like the underlying thing is like I don't want
them to be to reject me, Like I don't want
to be like this girl. No, I don't want to
be with someone like that and reject me. And so
I'm not showing that part of me enough. And then

(24:35):
but then I'm like, Okay, I'm mad and I'm having
imaginary conversations. You know, this is what I would say.
So it's like, Kelly, you need to just speak it
in the moment, And I just have a problem doing
that around men, not necessarily anyone else. But I don't know.
It's just like a fear of rejection. I get that totally.

(24:55):
I think we all feel that way. Yeah, you know
now when I want to be rejected. Did you feel
a sense of projection on love is blind even though
you said you don't.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Want to marry him?

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Y'all have like agreed to say that, But did it
kind of land on you since you said it first?

Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (25:12):
And because what I gather is that he wasn't necessarily
opening up a lot about past stuff to production, and
therefore I did, like I told, I was just like
an open book. I just shared everything from little traumas
to big dramas, all the things. And I think they
just had more of a storyline on me. And so yeah,

(25:34):
they decided because he said no at the altar also,
but they just didn't show that part because that was
that they chose to use my storylines.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
To How did that make you feel?

Speaker 1 (25:44):
So that is movie editing right there, movie magic right there,
portraying a story in one way when really it's there's
a whole other backstory. How did that feel? When you
get to the altar, you're like your family's there. You
walk up there and like he's there. The preacher's asking
you if you want to marry When you say no,
so it feels like you're leaving him at the altar
kind of right. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh it

(26:06):
was I mean.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
Like for my family, Like my family knew that I
was not going to say yes. I didn't want that.
We got married on a like our wedding was on
a Wednesday. I'm like, okay, all these you have to
like take off work, Like I'm not going to be like, guys,
this is like for really you need to be there.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Everything was voluntarily. But I mean me watching it back,
you know, I was like I cried every single time
like watching the show because I hadn't none of it.
We hadn't seen it. They didn't show us the preview
of like what what they were going to air, so
us seeing it for the first time, the world was
seeing it for the first time.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
And I was in tears.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Were you crying happy tears, sad tears, anxiety tears, relief tears.
I think like unresolved maybe like grief, Like I real
like processed it.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
So you felt grief from the show?

Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah a lot?

Speaker 3 (26:57):
What was the grief?

Speaker 1 (26:59):
I I want to say, like a mixture of things.
I mean, yes, happiness that I chose the right decision
because I was gonna say no that, but also I
think just like sadness around. Like everything went away in

(27:21):
a moment. I mean it was gone, production was gone,
friends made like all of us. Like it's interesting because
everyone's like, weren't you, like, you know, do you still
talk to your like castmates? And I'm like, yes, there
are some of them that I do still have a
relationship with. But I and then like when our show aired,
COVID happened, like we couldn't see each other, we couldn't
hang out really, so it's like we just didn't connect

(27:44):
as I think. You know when you watch Bachelor Nation
and they're like all friends now and they're like besties
and hanging out and all the things, and it's like
you just didn't formulate that type of relationship. And I
think we were all just really traumatized by the experience
and we're just like what the heck just happened and
we kind of just like went our own ways. But
Atalanta's just like over, Yeah, yeah, it was just over.

(28:06):
But yeah, it was just like the sadness and maybe
of like looking at how I've changed since, you know, again,
there was fifteen months in between, and I had done
a lot of.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
Work on fifteen months from when it ended to when
it aired.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, when we stopped filming, it was two.

Speaker 3 (28:21):
Thousand and it was a long time.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
November twenty eighteen was when we wrapped filming, and they
aired it in February of twenty twenty.

Speaker 3 (28:28):
Why did it take so long to air? I wonder.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I have no idea. Oh, y'all just can't talk about
anything for that whole eighteen months.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
Yeah, yeah, you can't like give any spoiler alerts. What
about the ones that stayed together, they just have to
act like they're not together.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Well, I mean, granted, they just weren't like posting things
where if they did. I remember an email came out
maybe a few months prior to it airing, and we
hadn't heard anything for like months, but an email came
out and was like, hey, like you know, Netflix bought
the show. We're ready to rock and roll. Like go ahead,
and if you if you did meet or if you
guys have been like hanging out or anything like, take
any post down off of social media. Like so they

(29:05):
kind of cleared it in that regard. But it's so funny,
like there's so many.

Speaker 4 (29:09):
Like internet stalkers and they'll like find something you know
and like although it may just be like one person
in their picture, they'll go to like the other person's
be like, oh, but there's that same Christmas tree in
that person's picture.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
Oh, yes, you do it. Loose people are loose.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
So then you had a whole nother like I don't
know if it's like a big trauma or a little trauma,
but like, so you go through the whole thing. You're
in the experience. You're like in a time warp, like
in this whole alternate universe. You're falling in love. You
think you found this connection in this alternate universe. Then
you decide to get married, which is a huge decision
but like probably feels kind of not like a huge

(29:45):
too far from where you just were, like that was
the goal of the show. So then now you're getting
married and then you say no, and then it ends,
and then he just like disappears, right like y'all never
really talk again right now?

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Yeah, I mean he just banish.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
Yeah, you know, we had talked about like dating, because
again we had had the conversation, like we just we
didn't think that that was.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
The way we wanted to get married.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
And I mean production, we had a conversation with production
and they were not happy about that conversation. They were
like we are then, and I'm like we could, like
I want to enjoy this experiment, and you know, you're right,
something could change. And that's like why they kept like
every week they kept saying, like your feelings could change,

(30:31):
your thought could change, Like this whole mindset of yours,
of like that maybe you don't think you're going to
could totally change. And it did for me. I mean
the week leading up or a few days leading up
to the wedding. I remember I had my last like
one on one with production and they not that they
were It's not that they were like interrogating or like

(30:51):
trying to persuade you or anything like that. They were
just trying to get to the root cause, like the
root of why I wasn't going to why I was
deciding not to marry him.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
And I eventually was like like they it's like they
wore me down so much, and I just like blurted out.
I was like, I'm not in love with him.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
That's a great reason, I know.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
And my producer I just remember her taking her clipboard
and like putting it down next to her and she
was like that's all we needed to hear, and I
was like, holy shit, But like, you know, because I was,
I kept giving them excuses in the sense of like, well,
I mean my mom wasn't there to try my wedding
dress with me. Like I didn't have my best friends
at my bacherette, I didn't have this, I didn't have that.
I didn't have a proper bridal shower. And they're like, yeah,

(31:31):
but there's people elope all the time, like without anyone there,
and they're like merry for years, you know, And I'm like, yeah,
I don't know. I don't know what it is. My
head and my heart are just aren't connecting. Then I
finally was like, I guess I'm just not in love
with him, and they're like that's all we needed. But
it was crazy because although me saying that, I like
went back into my brain. After I left that conversation,

(31:53):
I was like, but he's is great, Like he's such
a good man.

Speaker 4 (31:58):
I mean he has like I loved his family. I
mean I feel like his parents and my parents got along,
like so many things. To check the boxes, let's put
it that way, But you actually were checking a lot
of boxes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah for sure, And
I was like like, and I was.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
At this point, you haven't seen in yet, right, you
still haven't.

Speaker 4 (32:16):
No, I had seen him, Yeah, this is after Oh okay,
this was like a few.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Days before the wedding.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
Okay, so we'll have seen each other.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah. So we'd been like living together for a few weeks.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
Oh okay, yeah, so they you know, we we do
the pods and then we went to Mexico. So that
was like, we did the pods, we did the engagement,
we did the big reveal the next day, and then
we go to Mexico together and we do all that,
and then we lived together for a few weeks, and I.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Forgot how Mexico was for you. I remember I was
like really invested in the one girl. She had blonde hair,
and she met the one guy and she was not
feeling it, Like she loved it in the pod, and
then afterward she was like no, no, no, and he
wanted it really bad. I feel like y'all were doing
good in Mexico.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Oh yeah, we were. We were totally good.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
But you're like, okay, this is good. Yeah. And physically
were you like physically attracted joh.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
I was like immediately, like when I saw him, I
wasn't like whoa, you know, but as the time, like
probably within the forty eight hours, I was like, okay,
like he's so like we're just having fun together.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
And his personality.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
I remember when I saw everyone else when we did
finally do like a meet and group of meet and
greet of the whole group, I remember like looking around
and yeah, I was maybe like attracted to like one
or two of the other guys, but like then I
was like, I just remember looking at Kenny and I
was like, but I'm not, Like his personality was just
so grand that I was like, can he See's just

(33:40):
so cute and handsome, you know, Like I remember having
that moment to be like yeah, no I made the
right decision like this, yes, so he felt great.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah I felt great. But yeah, I think it just
was like it was just so much, so fast.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
I mean, we were having conversations like such vulnerable conversation
on and off camera, so I did feel like, you know,
emotionally safe with.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Him all this stuff. And then we had talked about dating,
like no kind of like no matter what we do,
obviously we're going to say no at the altars, so
like let's continue to date afterwards, and we had the
next day after our wedding, we had our last like
one on one like wrap up conversation with production and
I went first and then he went, but there was

(34:20):
like fifteen minutes in between, and so he got there
a little early. We sat in my car for a
few minutes and he was just asking me, like, you know,
what did they talk to you about? Blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
And then like literally like two minutes before he had
to get out of the car, he's like, so, I
know we talked about doing Thanksgiving together. I think that
I just need to like take a step back and
take a break. And he was like, you know, I
was I'm really over this entire process. And he's like,

(34:50):
unfortunately you are a part of this process.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Oh, And I was like, I don't. I didn't say anything.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
I was just like, how did that hit spell it
out for me?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
You like breaking up with me right now? What is happening?

Speaker 4 (35:03):
Like he was like, I think we just need to
like go our separate ways for a little while and
like like get back to our normal routine. And granted,
in hindsight, I'm like that was very self aware of
him and very mature for him to like presence that
versus like stringing me along.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
So I appreciate it. So there's no like bad blood.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
But he was write it and done.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
He was like, throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I'm out of here, Like I want to leave this
whole thing behind. He was not feeling fond memories. It
was anxious for him. Yeah, yeah, he was so we
Essentially he didn't want anything to do with the show
or any of it. He just wanted to start a
new life, go back to his old life and.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
Pud yeah yeah, or like just get back to his routine.
And I think you know what he was trying to say.
It was like, you know, if we're meant to be,
then like but like let me get my head on
straight and help me get back to my normal routine
and like figure things out and that kind of thing.
And then I was like okay, and he gave me
a hug in the car and like turned his face
away from mine, and I knew it. Like at that point,
I was like, well, that was freaking awkward, because you

(36:00):
been telling me you love me this whole time, You've
been kissing me, you've been giving me like.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Such like and it was like the it was so weird,
and I was like, whoa, that was cold, Like that
was so cold. He gets out of the car and
I still hadn't said anything, like I'm just like in shock.
And he gets out of the car but like leans
his head back in and he was.

Speaker 4 (36:17):
Like, I mean will talk and I go, oh okay,
and he closes the door, and like I didn't see
him for a long time.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
I did send him like text. I sent him up
probably like a three page written letter to his mail.

Speaker 4 (36:29):
To be like not like I'm in love with you,
but like I was loving the man that I was
getting to know, and I would really like to try
to us again, you know. Never responded, never reached out
that kind of thing. And then it was like months
later that I you know, I had a couple of
things of his still and so I was like, I
think it's time, like it's water under the bridge at

(36:51):
this point, but like I think it's time for us
to like I can meet you somewhere and give got
stuff back to you. And you know, I think I
had been working with a coach and like kind of
we're through all of that. And when she asked me
because this was like two months after filming.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
She asked me.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
She was like, are you like in such pain because
like you and are in love with this man and
you like are so sad and you're just like grieving
the loss of him and all this stuff.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Or is it the pain of rejection? And I was
like rejection, pain of rejection one hundred percent.

Speaker 4 (37:22):
I was like, wait, I'm not like again, I'm not
in love with him, so I was loving the man
that I was getting to know. But yeah, and it
was like such like an eye opening moment for me,
and I was like wow, like yeah, I needed to
be asked that question. That was that was kind of
a turning point for me in that situation. And I mean,
granted was months later that you know, we reconnected and stuff,

(37:44):
but and I think I had seen him like out
and he just had very small small talk conversation with me,
which again was like I felt very cold, and I
know I sent him a very passive, aggressive, like the
hell bro, like I told you.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
My whole life story and you're gonna be like hey,
I'll think going okay bye. I don't know. I hated it.
It was it was really not a fun time.

Speaker 4 (38:06):
But I would have in the past, Like, had I
had the opportunity to connect with him, I would have
like brought things up, and like, you know, kind of
wanted to like bring up all that stuff and like
the letter and everything, but I just like let it go,
gave him his things and you know, how are you
haw's your family, blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
I just kept a kind of small talk and kept
it moving and her set her a piece and went
about our ways and that was fine, you.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
Know, And and was that it?

Speaker 4 (38:32):
Yeah, I mean we when the show aired, we filmed
the reunion episode, and I wanted to say this, like
while we were all sitting in the chairs, and I
wanted to like bring about like presents that conversation, but
I was like, that's not something that was shown on TV,
Like that was like an affort thing.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
But I wanted to talk about it, but I just didn't.
Suppressed myself a little bit.

Speaker 4 (38:56):
But afterwards, we had a h an interview with like
People magazine or one of those, and they were like, so,
tell us about like what happened afterwards, and he shared
his story and then they asked me the same question,
and I like looked a him and I immediately started
crying and I was like, sorry, I have to and
I just like told them what I just told you.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
And afterwards, you know, he and I even said, I
was like, in hindsight, he's very immature. He knew what
he needed to do. So like again, there's no like
bad bladd or anything like that, but yeah, it was
hard for me at that time. And anyways, we like
left that interview and he was like, I'm really sorry
that that happened and that I made nice and everything. Yeah,
so the apology happened, which I was grateful for.

Speaker 4 (39:38):
Not that I was expecting or looking for it at all,
but I just felt like I needed to share that
part of my story because.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
It was just like stuck inside of me, and I
was like, yeah, it's true, this is what really happened.

Speaker 4 (39:50):
Like but the you know, thousands of people that decided
to slide in my DMS and be like you're gonna
die alone, bitch, and I just know he's better off
without you, like he dodged a bull, like all these
just like and so why did they say that?

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Because I said no with the althar and broke his heart.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
But y'all that's the crazy thing.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
But y'all have both decided to say no, but they
put the story on you.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Yeah, so I'm like I have to tell my truth.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
Good for you, But.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
I'm like, there's still people out there walking around thinking
I broke a man's heart on international dialvisions.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Okay, so tell me how that feels, because what is
it like?

Speaker 1 (40:36):
You know a lot of people have this delusion of
fame and like being on TV and to have a
situation like yours where you literally skyrocket into everyone's TV
starty million people are watching.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
And now they have in love people the love shows.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
People get so invested in the love shows, you know,
I mean they're so in I mean I'm one of
those people too. It's like, oh my god, you know,
you can't you can't help it. You just like get
so invested in these relationships that you have no idea
what's actually happening. But what does that feel like to
have the world having an opinion about who you are,

(41:11):
your actual character as a human, and then to have
an opinion about a relationship that you took all the
way to the Ulster them, you know, as far pretty
significant relationship here and I know it's on TV, but like.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
A big deal to have the world weighing in. What
is that weight?

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Like? Is that is it crushing? Does it increase your anxiety?
Does it because people think fame is just great, but
there is a whole underbelly, especially when you get it
so fast.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
And people have such a judgment about you.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Yeah, it's it's crushing.

Speaker 4 (41:45):
I mean I it wasn't probably until like the last
year of my life right now that I've had a
different like perspective about it.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Okay, what is that now?

Speaker 1 (41:56):
I just well I felt like I took all of
that like the world hates me, Like people hate me,
they just like and I you know, at the time,
I was trying to tell my truth as much as possible.
Like I even had Netflix reach out and they were
like Netflix Legal and they were like, you cannot do that,
you cannot share that. And I'm like, so you just
had to live with feeling like the world hates you. Yeah,
were you making a decision about your life right? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (42:19):
But but I and it's like I I was seeing
that and that stuff was affecting me so much more
than like the women out there that were like good
for you.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
You chose yourself. You knew what wasn't right for you,
blah blah blah. So I wish that maybe I had
had like.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
A PR manager at the time or someone to be
like lean into that perspective, like who cares what anyone
else is thinking?

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Lean into like you are. You know, you've been on
a self flope journey, which I have.

Speaker 4 (42:49):
I've also done that, but I've also like bounced back
and forth between the two. It's like I'm people please,
but then I'm like empowered, and then i have people please,
and then I'm like no kind of switches overnight.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
It's such a fright now. Yeah, I mean, even if you.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Get awareness and I feel like you've talked about this
on your Instagram, even if you get awareness and you
understand your past triggers and traumas and like the behaviors
they've caused you to do, you're still gonna accidentally reroot back.
Like no one just like snaps her fingers in his heels, right,
you know exactly exactly if they were saying that exactly. Yeah,
but I don't know, Like it's just been It was

(43:23):
just very very heavy.

Speaker 4 (43:24):
And at the time too, I was working a different
like I had gone back into corporate like I said,
I created a lot.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
Of good debt, and but I had debt.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
And I was like, oh my gosh, and my when
we took because it was almost eight weeks that we
I could have like, I guess I could.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Have like worked a little bit during that time, but
I was just like, I'm focused on.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
This project right now, and I didn't know like what
the schedule was going to be like, so I didn't
want to have like one on one client then have
to like cancel or reschedule them or anything like that.
So I took eight weeks off from doing anything even
like the fitness training. Like I was working as a
contract worker for this this app, so you know.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
I had money coming in from there. January hits. They
let the whole like Atlanta training team go, so I
didn't have money coming in there.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
I didn't have money coming in from health coaching. I
was like, cool, now I'm broke and I have no
boyfriend or.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
No husband, like like I felt like the everything after
filming and just shit, it was you feel like the
world might hate you a little bit. I mean, this
is heavy. So you're at a rock bottom. I'm at
a rock bottom.

Speaker 4 (44:25):
Yeah, yeah, in a rock bottom like after filming after
the show airs, but like when the show aired, I
because after filming, I was like, Okay, I'm going to
try and keep doing this like coaching thing and get.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Myself back, you know, get myself back together.

Speaker 4 (44:40):
I just couldn't, Like I just couldn't do it, and
so I step back into corporate space. I was in
that corporate job when the show aired then in twenty twenty,
and now I'm not only working a full time nine
to five job. Now I am getting like full time
requests for content creation for brands. And do I have
to say yes to every no? But when you're in debt,

(45:01):
you say yes to everything because you just want to
pay off the debt so and you want to be
making more money and all the things. So I was
accepting like anything and everything for the most part, not
like I wasn't doing it all the brand stuff, but
for what I could.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
And I was like.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
Launching programs for my coaching and I felt like I
had like three or four full time jobs. And a
year to the day of our show airing, I had
two panic attacks back to back.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
And had you ever had a panic attack before? And
what happened?

Speaker 1 (45:29):
I've never had one since happened that whole year. I
feel like it was just like the weight of the world,
of their comments and their judgment, the energy of all
of that. I couldn't handle it.

Speaker 4 (45:43):
Then I was like at work and just the stressors
of my own job were and then just creating the content.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
It was just everything built up together. And I kept saying,
like to my parents, I was like, I need to
quit my nine to five, like I can't do this,
like that is what is although yes, that's my like
consistent paycheck, Like it's so consuming of my time and
I don't have it. I don't have time. I don't
have energy, like I was exhausting.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
I was.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
I don't drink coffee. I'm like high on life all
the time. I don't drink coffee. I don't drink energy
drinks like I Caffeine just doesn't do well with my gut.

Speaker 4 (46:12):
And I was like microdocing other people's prescription outterall I
was drinking coffee. I was drinking energy drinks to just
keep going throughout the day. So I think my you know, anxiety,
then of course it's COVID. We're all locked in our home,
so our mental health is crazy. At the time too.
Georgia was the first state to open up, or Atlanta
was the first city to open up, so we were
able to at least like kind of like go outside

(46:34):
and that kind of thing that I had then. Now
I have social anxiety because.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
I'm like my head, I mean, even to this day,
it's been five years since our show aired, my head
is sometimes kind of on a swivel to be like,
and it's it almost sounds like a conceited thing of like,
oh who knows me? But it's like you catch someone
looking at you and they're like, Okay, are they looking
at me because they just like looking at my cute
outfit or are they like mak them cute or something.

Speaker 4 (46:59):
Or because they know me from the show and they
have their opinion of me. You're like, you know, it's
like constant. So I've never had social anxiety before, but
it's lessened over time now, but it's still there. But yeah,
so I think just like all of that combined family issues,
boyfriend issues, like everything, and I was just like, oh

(47:21):
my god, And I just woke up at like six
am one morning. It was Valentine weekend, heart pumping racing thoughts,
and I was like I don't know what this is,
but I don't know how to stop it. And granted
I'd never experienced it, and they're like, people say, you're
supposed to just like let it ride, and I didn't
know how, so of course I'm like trying to resist,
and that makes it amplified. It was the worst all day,

(47:43):
Like that whole day was just like really rocky.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
And then the next morning it happened again, exactly at
six am again, and I was like, oh my god.
I called my parents and I was like I'm not
okay and you need to come get me. They were
like live an hour away, so my dad drove to
Atlanta and came and got me. I stayed with my
parents for a week. I called my boss. I was like,
I'm pto for the rest of the week, like I
had two paanicake attacks. I'm unwell, and she was like
take all the time you need, like I've had them
before too, like totally fine. Like I didn't do anything.

(48:10):
I don't even think I helped my mom clean up
the dishes, like I was like, I just need like
bed rest.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
You know what resting is crucial?

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Like people think that resting is being lazy but I
feel like to rewire your nervous system sometimes you have
to give yourself years of rest, just like not just
like straight resting, but just like calming your system, letting
yourself be still and have peace and not be in
the middle of all the things, you know, especially coming
off as something what you're coming off of. Yeah, rewire

(48:38):
your nervous system. Is your body was screaming at you
saying we need help. Yeah, oh yeah, it definitely was.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
And it was It was funny because my dad, like
that Sunday that following week, he goes, Okay, are you ready,
Like I'll take you back to Atlanta, And it was like.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Nope, I mean I am, but I'm not. And I
worked for maybe two more weeks, I think, and then
I put my resignation in. I was like, I just
can't do and I don't I don't know where the
money is going to come from, and I really don't care.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Right, You're just gonna trust the process, trust the process.

Speaker 4 (49:06):
And I like finished up my two weeks, and I
mean even coaching, like everything, I just put a pause
on for another like two weeks. I cried almost every
day for too good.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
You needed to get those tears out. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Like I would just sit on the house and just
start bawling, and I'm like, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
You know what though, if the tears are in there,
then you got to get them out. Yeah. Yeah, I
am such a firm believer in crying too.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
You have well, I mean, if they want to come out,
your body is really it's saying I need to release this,
you know, and just to weep is so good. It's
so good.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
Yeah, there's times I'm like, hell, I think you need
a very big cry, but sometimes like I don't. I
can't do it on my own, so I'll just like
pop in an old like a sad movie. I'm like, hey,
there we go.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
But yeah, it was heavy and it affected me.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
I mean I feel like, I mean, I'm pretty transparent
about it online. But also it's like, you know, with
like me being an entrepreneur, like I'm not necessarily like
where I would like to be in certain.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Ways, and.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
I hate that I couldn't get a grip, although I like,
I don't regret and I don't you know, I don't
regret anything, but like I I don't love that I
couldn't get a grip and like heal faster or whatever,
you know, these past few years, because there are times
like I was like I would be like, okay, like
I want to do something, like I want to create something,
I want to put something out there, and then I.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Would and like a few weeks in, I was like,
a nervous system is just not ready for it, Like
I can't do it.

Speaker 4 (50:36):
And you know, I probably could have taken two, you know,
two months off and not done anything in Cride for
two months probably, you know, but I was like, no,
I have to like get back in and like make
the money and like do the things, and so I
don't necessarily feel like I have totally unplugged. And even
like I went to Mexico for my fortieth birthday and
it was like a wellness resort and there was a
shawman there and.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
He goes, He's like, have you unplugged.

Speaker 4 (50:59):
Since you've been here and I've maybe been there for
forty eight hours.

Speaker 3 (51:03):
Did you do a journey?

Speaker 1 (51:05):
No? I did it?

Speaker 3 (51:06):
Okay, I love a good journey.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
Yeah no, but it was just like I just I
wanted like a self loss little like, so it was
a solo trip for me. It was really nice.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
Yes, on your fortieth that is awesome.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:17):
I told myself my thirty ninth birthday. I was like,
I'm going on a solo trip. I don't want to
be on anyone's timeline. I don't want to have to
entertain anyone. I want to be on my timeline to
do what I wanted to be.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
Doing and to just selling. We're storing.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Yes, yeah, so that's what I did.

Speaker 4 (51:32):
But it was funny like my current nine to five
that I have, Like I did turn off notification, like
all email is like, no, we're just no notifications while
I am away, but I was still like posting on
social media and stuff, and the shaman he goes, you
haven't disconnected, fool, since you've been here, have you. You're
still on your phone And I was like, yeah, I am,
and he was like, one day, come and disconnect. But

(51:56):
because that's it, it's like I'm still constantly showing up.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
And there's a part of me that I'm like, Okay,
maybe like that year after the show, I could have
just like not been on social media as much and whatever,
but I'm also like, you know what, like you showing
up in your failures, in your trials and tribulations, like
it's just I feel like I'm sharing so much of

(52:20):
my journey with people and like helping them have the
permission to show up in their mess as well, you know,
And I think that speaks a lot, because yeah, of course,
we like see so many highlight reels and people that
have made the success and they're already doing the things,
and it's like, Okay, well I'm this person. And I've
had people that have followed me since before the show
reach out and be like I've been following you since

(52:41):
you know, the fitness days or whatever, and like I'm
just really inspired and like thank you for continuing to
be the vulnerable you that you are, and like, you know,
it's just it's motivating and.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
It's humbling, I guess even for me to receive those
types of messages like you're fine, cal like you're doing
you're doing enough, Like you are enough. I it's a
constant reminder of that. But yeah, there's sometimes I just
like kick myself and be like.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Geez, like healing is not linear, everybody, like you have
to take the time to do it, and I mean
there's things will still come up for me to stay
you know, it's a constant journey for sure.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
So I started I've been I've been on a healing journey.
I'l like my whole life. Like I've been in therapy
since I was in my.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
Late twenties, but like I kicked it up to a
next level probably in my late thirties, because I was like,
I'm I have this thing when I enter a new decade,
I'm like, I'm not taking my past problems into a
new decade. And so I start like, like I had
eating disorders in my twenties, and I was like, I'm
not taking eating disorders into my thirties. And so that's
when I started therapy for that, and like I got

(53:44):
clear on like what that was all seeming from and
the root cause of it. And then like in my thirties,
it was like, Okay, I feel like I don't have
self worth. I don't feel like I'm valuable, I don't
feel like i'm enough, I don't feel like.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
I am worthy.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
And I just even though I like had done so
much work and I knew I was worthy and I
knew it was enough, I still didn't feel it and
I could not get it to switch. But I started
doing some a lot more healing journeys, like I worked
with like an actual healer. She's a doula and like
a medicine healer, and like went on some spiritual journeys
to spiritual journeys with her, and I like got deep

(54:18):
into my subconscious because I realized I had all this
stored trauma that even though I had done so much
talk therapy and I had been in therapy for like
over ten years, my body was holding on to so
much stored trauma. And I swear it has taking me
like five years and now forty two, and I probably
started this in my late thirties, and where I just

(54:40):
had I feel like I very much have disconnected from
social media. Like I love my podcast. I feel like
that as my outreach, but like I got to this
place where I was like, I don't want to share
my life with people, like like I want to share
stories and I want to like give in that way
because I do feel like that is like my calling

(55:00):
and my gift, and I like I love that so much,
but like I got to this place where I was like,
I just don't want to share my life with everyone
all the time. Like and I have a daughter, and
like I don't want to share her going to kindergarten,
and I don't want to share her having this amazing
day because it's like I don't owe that to anyone.
And like that got to this place where I finally
was like, why do I have to share everything with everyone?

Speaker 3 (55:21):
Because it take it takes something away.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
I don't get fueled by it anymore, Like it takes
something away from me when I feel like now everyone's
weighing in on my special experiences, you know.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
And so like coming up with that boundary has been.

Speaker 1 (55:37):
Weird for me because now I feel like I'm sort
of like disconnected from social media in a way because
I used to be posting all the time everything, and
now I'm like, I don't want people to know what
I'm doing. I don't want you in my life, Like
I don't want you to see me at the park
with my daughter, Like I just don't want that energy
on me, you know. And like so it's such a
weird thing because you go, you feel this pressure that

(56:01):
you have to tell everyone everything, especially if you're doing
this great healing work. But really it's like where is
the line where it's like I just want to heal
from myself a little bit too? And I and I
gained so much from people, like even watching your podcast clips,
I was like, man, I am learning a lot from
your conversations and what you're sharing, and so I appreciate it,
and I'm someone who shares too, But it's like, where

(56:22):
is that line where it's like I just need to
heal from me and do this for me and not
for everyone else too.

Speaker 3 (56:28):
You know do you ever feel that? Oh?

Speaker 4 (56:41):
Yeah, yeah, I had kind of like an epiphany I
guess a couple of months ago. Maybe it was like
right around my birthday, but I was like, I feel
like my biggest thing, like if you and I were
doing this in person, like the energy is different, right,
it's I mean great energy, and when we're in person
it would be even were right, right.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
I feel like that's where like even my current job,
my current career.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
Like I am out and about at my client's offices
all the time. I'm in person meetings, lunch meetings, dinner meetings,
half the hours, whatever I need to do.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
And I'm like, that's my superpower.

Speaker 4 (57:15):
Is like in person connection and we've gotten away from
that from society, and so yes, do I use my
social media to make it feel a little bit like
we're doing that.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
But at the end of the day, yeah, it's exhausting.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
And I battle sometimes between Okay, do I want to
be that influencer who has like who's showing every single
bit of my life and my day and the links
and all the things, and or am I this like
business mindset coach, life coach who shares what she offers
And if you feel a line and you feel pul
to like go on your journey with me and then
like buy the things, sign up with me and like

(57:47):
let's work together.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
And can there be both? Yes?

Speaker 4 (57:51):
I try to coexist both avenues. You know, I'm not
the person who's sent puts up pulling for every little
thing that I'm wearing or the statue on my dining room.
You know, it's like I'm not that person. I don't
have a team to do that stuff for me, Like
I can't. So there is that. But I remember like
posting something about like this just thought that I had.
I'm like, I want to do more in person events.

(58:13):
I want to have more in person connection. I would
like to have a team that posts all my social
media stuff, so I'm not on social media at all.
Maybe twenty minutes a day, maybe if that twenty minutes
a week, like have a team doing all the things
for my social media, because I do feel like social
media is a great space for growing your brand and everything.
That's like just the way of the world right now.

(58:33):
But I'm also like, I know that there's people that
are super successful that don't have an Instagram account at all,
you know, and like are living these happy lives, and
I'm like that sounds amazing. My nervous system would really
appreciate that life too, so so I go back and forth,
and You're right, I don't have to share anything, and

(58:54):
I think that was it. Even like with my birthday
when I was at this resort, I wanted to share
about the experience, but then I'm like, but like.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Why no one's telling me I have to. I know,
I put pressure on myself so like posting these things
before the end of the day because then I'm gonna
have so much more content the next day to post,
and I'm like, it's exhausting, but I feel so just
it's weird because if I take some time away from
posting or like even just on my Instagram stories, I
feel really disconnected. And I'm like, I don't even know

(59:23):
how to like come back up and be like my
first like Instagram story to be like hey, like I
took some time away, Like I don't even I feel
really disconnected. And it's a weird like psychosis thing, Like
it's super weird. It's like a part of our extended
personalities and social media at this point in my lives.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
Yeah, it's so wild.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
It's such a such a new existence, and the young
kids are just growing up with it, so they don't
even realize that it was like not there when we were. Yeah,
but I love your boundaries. And mine happened because I
finally hit a breaking point, like I had my daughter.
I was turning forty, and I was like, I'm not
going to be this way. I Am not going to
be this way anymore. Like I'm just not like I'm

(01:00:02):
not really for her, like she she's such a strong, independent,
young little girl and she's so spirited. And I was like,
if I can't get my act together, how am I
going to foster hers?

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
And I was like I'm sitting here doing this podcast
encouraging people to like find their alignment, like clear their
clear their traumas, like get to know like what is
like in your core?

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
What is your calling? But like if I don't have self.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Worth and if I don't really believe that I am
worthy just because I'm me, woke up like this and
like what am I really doing?

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
You know? Because that's the core.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
And I feel like that's what you're trying to teach
people is like what is your core? Like what are
the lies that you believed about yourself that aren't true
that have shaped your personality? They are guiding your decision
process process making, and like that are like like you said,
making you people please or whatever it's causing you to do.
What are these things we've put on ourselves the lenses

(01:01:00):
we're seeing ourselves through that like really aren't ours.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
They don't belong to us. Their childhood traumas, their.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
Traumas that we experienced like an adolescence and like things
that happened to us that like shook our nervous system
so much that we like changed who we.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
Were, you know. Yeah, And how do we rewire that?
How do you how do you teach people to rewire.

Speaker 4 (01:01:18):
That a lot of journaling were less sitting with themselves
and not even journaling, I guess, but just having the
stillness because even like I said, I mean I was
constantly working, doing side hustles and disconnecting and binge binge
drinking on the weekend, It's like I didn't have still time,
and when I did was by myself. I was probably

(01:01:38):
listening to music, and like I never had that. So
I mean, I'm the person who is driving with no
music on, like listening to my own thoughts, and I'm
just that's it. It's like you have to be still
with yourself and just bring awareness to the thoughts that
are going on in your head because that awareness is
the key to change. If you don't know that you're
thinking the thought, how are you going to change the thought?

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
So it's right, and granted I know so much of
it is unconscious, but it's like, okay, ask yourself those
intentional questions.

Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
That's why I like doing a lot of like money
mindset work, because it is tied to your self worth.
So it's like, where did I hear about you know?
What do I think about wealthy people? What do I
think about the word rich? You know? What do I
think about success? What does that mean to me?

Speaker 4 (01:02:22):
Because a lot of it, like when when that question
when those questions were presented to me, my brain goes
to like like, this was just an immediate thought. I'm like, Okay,
when I think of wealthy, I thought of like Ruella
deville On from one hundred and one Donations, and she's
this like evil person, right, and so do I did
I think that everyone was evil who had wealth and

(01:02:42):
who were super rich? No, but that was a story
that I had that that was tied together. And I
remember like there was a friend of mine in college
and her family was very wealthy and they were like
the nicest people. And I obviously still to this day,
I remember this thought in my head that I was like, Wow,
they're not like snobby, really, like these rich people are

(01:03:06):
really nice, like and really down to earth, just grounded people.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
But I remember thinking like why, like why aren't they snobby?
Aren't all rich people like snobby? And like that was
you know.

Speaker 4 (01:03:19):
So it's like it's just bringing awareness, active questioning and
like interviewing yourself, basically getting curious with yourself all the time,
whether it is through journaling or just conversations.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
I mean, I feel like I have conversations in my
head all the time.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
So it's really that and then you start to you
ask yourself, is this universally true? And no, it's not
because you have evidence of that, or maybe you make
the evidence right. It's like, maybe you don't have evidence
that you are lovable because your family didn't, like you
didn't feel the love from your family, and every other
guy and every person that you have romantically been with

(01:03:53):
they confirm that has confirmed that, right, But like, okay,
so now it's time for you to choose to create
your own story then that I am worthy and I
am lovable, and now I get to rewrite this story
for myself.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
And it is hard to go back and like prove
yourself that those things that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Happened to you weren't the truth. And that, I feel
like is the hardest part.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
And I like, I've talked to so many people who've
had all sorts of traumas, but like, especially like when
you have childhood traumas, and when you have and they're
reconfirmed over and over again, it's very hard to believe
that that's not true because you don't have another example
in your life, you know, and so you're having to
take a leap of faith and like believe in yourself

(01:04:35):
that like that is actually not me and who I am,
and to separate from that trauma. It is so it's
such an act of greatness to be able to separate
from that. And like you're saying, like it takes so
much time to heal and rewire, and I feel like
having the space and just letting yourself have time to
rest and like see those traumas and then have time

(01:04:57):
to like process them and then have some time to
integrate them into your body and feel them in your
body and process them. Because I think you were saying earlier,
like you know, when you had the panic attack, you
want to just like kind of move through it and
get out of it because you don't know what it
is and it feels so awful, but you have to
let your body fully experience that whole process, and like

(01:05:19):
the time it takes to do that that and how
painful it is, how uncomfortable it is.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
I'm just sitting with it. It's brutal.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
It's brutal, it is, but it's like, you know, you
have to, like immigrant I've been doing this like healing
work since I was in eighteen, I guess now, so
for seven years, and it's like it really is like
reparenting your inner child of like how did your caregiver
not show up for you? How did their school teacher
not show up for you? How did your first boyfriend
not show up for you? It's like, how did the

(01:05:47):
things that have shaped.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
You not give you what you may have needed in
those moments? Or you know, again, what are the stories
that you created around this? Like you could have thought,
like at seven years old.

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
Your mom looked at you a particular way, and your
subconscious just took that and created a story with it.
Not that anything was sad, but your subconscious was like,
she doesn't like me, she doesn't love me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
And you have no tools to know that. That's you
have no tools to know that that's not the truth.
Because when you're young, your feelings, the way you feel
about yourself are the truth, like and so that gets
wired in you as, oh, this is this is how
I feel about myself.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
This is the truth about me. But really it's not
at all.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 4 (01:06:28):
And we really can create our own story and like
I did. One of the other first books that I
ever read was Miracle Morning by how I'll Rod, and
it presented this acronym called savers Life Savers, and I
still to this day, not necessarily every single thing about it,
but I practiced this. But for the first handful of
years after reading this book, I implemented this Savers concept.

(01:06:50):
And it's like first thing in the morning, you do
you like before you look at your phone, I mean grid,
I woul look at my phone to like type in
the like motivational things or YouTube the videos. But you know,
it's like savor. So the acronym is like for silence, meditation, prayer,
then affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading and describing or journaling. And

(01:07:10):
if you do all six of those things, it could
be a minute of each, so you take six minutes
out of your day, or you could do a full
sixteen minutes, you know, ten minutes of each thing and
four into yourself first. And that really was like that
is still my like self love routine that I do
every single day. And again it may be not all
of it, maybe I'll do some of the evening or something,

(01:07:31):
but I'm still like focused on that, and I know
my body, my nervous system gets a little chaotic when
I haven't done it in a while. But doing that
type of stuff really helps you to like it was
like law of attraction and manifestation, like then we go
deeper into that or like your spirituality and growing your
connection with God and faith and everything, and it's I
mean the whole self, Like it is a spiritual journey.

(01:07:52):
Entrepreneurship is a spiritual journey.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Our food, the way we eat, the way we move
our bodies, it is everything is spiritual. A cool thing
when you have come from a place of being so
radically disconnected, not knowing what you like to do for fun,
not knowing really anything about yourself, and then being so
like connected, it's such a cool place. And I'm like,

(01:08:14):
you know, I have shown myself a lot of forgiveness
for things that I've done in the past that the
mean today would never have done, and also taking responsibility
and accountability for certain you know, maybe relationships that I
was involved in where maybe I didn't show up the
best as the best version of myself, and like how
that could have affected that other person, you know, and
how they showed up for me or didn't show up.

(01:08:36):
But like the forgiveness and I just like practice gratitude
as much as possible, and gratitude for the crappy things
that have gone on in my life.

Speaker 3 (01:08:44):
You know, like they led you to such deep places.

Speaker 4 (01:08:47):
Yeah, yeah, it has. And even it's like the like
little list mini school thing. It's like, just have appreciation
that that happened for you today, because it did happen
for you. Like, I don't think that anything is incidental.
I think we all walk a path that is designed
for us, and when we choose, you know, whatever our
decision or choice is, like, there's a path that goes

(01:09:09):
with that, and it's just I don't know, I've just
like gotten really spiritual even more lately.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
You might as well.

Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
Yeah, I mean it makes the life actually sort of
makes sense. Otherwise it's just way too it's way too
much for me to exist without thinking there's something going on.
And ultimately we're all here to learn, you know, and
I have learned that on the journeys that I've been on.
It's like it ultimately comes down to even the grief
and the pain and the sorrow and all that not

(01:09:38):
that like I'm saying any of it is good and
I want any of it, or like there's.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
The suffering of the world actually destroys me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
But it's like it all is here to teach us
what love is, you know, to show us the opposite
on all these extreme levels, brings us back to what
really is the only thing that matters, which is love
and connection. And you know, we lose that and so
many ways in this world. And ultimately that's what we
all are looking for, is to feel like we belong,
to feel like we are loved, to feel like we

(01:10:07):
are seen, to feel like we are valued, and then
to have community.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
But it's just so easy to get lost in this
world because this world is insane. So you have to
keep centering yourself and finding these practices. So it's so
amazing that you are on this mission, Kelly, that you
have your podcast which is Chase Life with Kelly right. Yes, yes,
I love it, and you're inspiring women you're coaching.

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
It's really cool to see your journey, how you have
taken like your journey, the moments that were your highs
and your lows, and now you're sharing that with women
to like help them get centered and to find their
best life. So I mean, we all got to work
together and stick together and share what we know.

Speaker 3 (01:10:48):
Where can everyone find you? And what do people need
to know?

Speaker 1 (01:10:53):
Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at Chase Life
with Kelly YouTube. It's the same thing a website Chase
Life with Kelly, and I am on TikTok I'm not
like actively there all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
But I'm their TikTok man.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
Yeah, that's like, yeah, but I am Kelly Chase. That's
the only handle that's different is I am Kelly Chase.
But yeah, I mean my podcast. You can it's on YouTube,
It's Spotify, Apple, every anywhere you can listen to a podcast.
That's where it's streaming.

Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
But yeah, I have a few programs that you know,
if you resonateor or have any interest in working with me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:26):
I have a few digital courses. They are go at
your own pace right now, that's just currently what I'm offering.
But one is around like rewiring your subconscious around money
and wealth and success and really honing in on like
creating your new story for yourself, just really elevating your
own worthiness.

Speaker 4 (01:11:45):
So that is my money Magnet program. I also have
Rejection to Redemption, which is a self love kind of
like dating relationship program. It's four modules but really helping
you get clear on like boundaries and creating that self
love routine and just really creating again, rewire your subconscious
and to create a new story for yourself around love.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
If we work one on one, we would go into
more of like.

Speaker 4 (01:12:09):
Attachment theory around like money, but also romantic relationships too.

Speaker 1 (01:12:12):
I think there is all connected.

Speaker 4 (01:12:14):
And then there's a course online Business Accelerator, which is
very very basic, like if you wanted to start your
own like online coaching, then kind of go through you know,
creating your own niche how to like launch your business,
how to even like put a program together, whether it
be like something you actively live coach or creating your
own digital course to offer people to create more impact

(01:12:36):
in this world. So I do have private one on
one coaching as well, but yeah, you just got to DM.

Speaker 1 (01:12:41):
Me for that, yes, okay?

Speaker 3 (01:12:44):
And can I always wrap up with leave your Light?

Speaker 1 (01:12:46):
And it's just an open ended question. What do you
want people to know? Drop some inspiration? Oh goodness, we
are own worst enemy. So to get out of our
own way, you really need to think about the type
of person that we want to be, who we want
to become, and then start taking actions in alignment with

(01:13:09):
that person, not who you currently are today. Because the
current you may feel very unlovable and unworthy about you're
craving to be loved, and you're craving to be seen
and craving to be successful and know that you're worth
you already are those things right? But if you're like, Okay,
I'm deeply rooted in love, I'm deeply rooted and worth.
What does my life look like? And paint that.

Speaker 4 (01:13:31):
Picture for yourself and not someone else's picture, not what
you think it should look like, not what it's but
what you inherently believe. Like that could be like you
running a sprinter van and just cruise in the country,
like whatever you want your life to look like, be
that and create it, get into the feeling of it
as if it's already here, and just start living that

(01:13:52):
type of life.

Speaker 3 (01:13:54):
I love that. Kelly Chase, thank you so much for
sharing your journey. This is such a great conversation. Really
appreciate you and all your wisdom. Thank you for joining me,
Thanks for having me. Bye.