Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Carl Lone.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
She's a queen and talking and so she's getting not
afraid to feel its.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Episode, So just let it flow. No one can do
it quiet, Cary Lone. Its sound of Caroline. Well, I
am so excited to be here with the legend, Rebecca
Lynn Howard.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That's always so weird when people call me a legend.
You are a legend. Well, you're not old. I feel
like you're just getting started in your primetime. Yeah. I
feel like I feel that way too. Yeah. Yeah, this
is a good season in my life.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Have you been musical forever? Because I remember I was
telling Maddie who does all my content for me? When
I it must have been two thousand and two was
when Forgive came out? Right, Yeah, okay, so I think
I was in high school. Forgive came out and I
used to like stare at CMT like I would like
stay and just like wait for CMT to come on,
(01:14):
I know, and just wait the videos because of me.
We didn't have YouTube, we didn't have nothing. You couldn't
get anything on demand, I know. And I watched your
music video. I feel like you were in an outside
it was like an outside patio type thing with was
there else was there a like it was like an
outside're kind of walking around an outdoor area singing Forgive,
(01:35):
and I was like, who is that? And you became
instantly one of my favorite singers and that was one
of my favorite songs of all times. So now that
I'm sitting here with you, talking to you, and.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I mean, of course I've known you. Oh yeah, we've
known each other for a long time.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
But it's just so cool to see, like, you know,
when you aren't in the industry and you don't have
access to people who are creating all this amazing art.
It's I remember when I first met you. It's like
overwhelming to meet people that you grew up just seeing
from a distance and thinking that they were living this
alternate life.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, and then you realize that they're just normal people.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, just doing it. Just a dream, like riding this wave.
That's it. And you've been chasing this dream.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
For a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
How long? How long have you had this dream?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, I've had this dream from a tender.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Well.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
The first time I ever realized that I wanted to
be a country music singer was I was watching videos
and I think it was t N N. I think
they had some stuff on the Nashville Network. Do you
remember that that that's probably a little bit before your
time even.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
And was that like Great American Country?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
No, it was. It was back when Lori Anne remember
Charlie and and Chase. Yes, oh yeah, they had a
show on there. It was the nash Network. That's what
it was, called the Nashville Notek And they'd play videos
and they had different you know, talk shows and stuff
that that's what you did to see your favorite artists because,
(03:11):
like you said, we didn't have the internet back then.
You couldn't just look on their Facebook page or their
Instagram or their TikTok and go, oh, this is what
my favorite artist is doing. Right now, you.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Definitely can stream anything, no, go buy the album.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, and occasionally you would see like a oh, this
is an article, like they're in this magazine, you know,
so then you would get join their fan club or what.
It doesn't feel like that long ago, but man, things
have changed, they really have they. I know there was
a lot of like I think it's good and bad.
(03:46):
Everything has pros and cons to it. But back then
I felt like there was a little bit more mystery. Yes,
you know, yes, and that's kind of gone now absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I think I was talking I don't know who I
was talking to this with about, but it's like I
don't actually know if there can be can there be
any more like superstars anymore? Because now there are so
many like TikTok stars and yeah, there's so many famous people,
but like you don't even know about pockets of people
because it's like it's just select to what you're interested in.
(04:18):
So it's like, is there really famous stars anymore?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's a good question will there be.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Any more born? Or is everyone a star?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I mean, I guess we'll see there. It feels like
we might be birthing some big stars in the country
music realm right now, like with Laney, you know, but
it happens so rarely now, you know, It's it's not
like it was when we were growing up, Like you
had a handful and it changed out every fifteen years, right,
(04:51):
you know, you had a new way they had.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, So I don't know. I guess we'll just see
how it all plays out. I trust me. I do
don't pretend to have the answers. I'm kind of just
riding away with everybody else. But I am glad that
we've got, you know, the technology and the world at
our fingertips. It really does help in more independent artists who,
(05:19):
like you know, I was signed to so many major
label label deals, right yeah, I mean it's it's been
craz I mean I try them all.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Have you had a favorites where there's some that were
better than others? Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Well, I guess they all had their ups and downs.
This is like dating.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
This is like your roster.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I know, it's like rapid fire questions.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I was so grateful when I graduated high school, I
moved to town with a record deal. Like I they
signed me right out of high school. This I signed
a Universal music group.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
When did you get discovered that young? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I started my mom started bringing me to Nashville when
I was ten years old.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I mean, because that voice has just been present forever.
You've always known you had that voice.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I've just always wanted to sing, you know, And it
never really was about seeking fame or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
For me.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
That was never the driving force. I just legit wanted
to sing. And even the writing thing came later, you know,
Like I messed around with songwriting since I was seven
years old. You know, playing piano, and my mom watched
Days of Our Lives and so, you know, I kind
of I'm a very observant person, and I was a
(06:41):
very observant child, and you know, love is easy to
write about. I feel like we're all kind of born
with that innately, you know. But when I moved to Nashville,
it was never really about the songwriting. Just the songwriting.
I didn't think I was I want to write songs
for other people. And that was the part of my
(07:04):
career that took off first.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Really wait, even before the record deal.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well, I had the record deal, released some singles. Nothing
really happened early on, Like I had a few singles
out before Forgive came out. Okay, but I was writing
songs and getting cuts by you know, John Michael Montgomery
and Tricia Yearwood.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And so you had early trishayearcause you have another Trisha
Yeard cut. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I had one prior to Yeah, a song called I
Don't Paint Myself into Corners and that was on her
Inside Out album YEP. And the story behind that song
is pretty interesting, or just the way it was cut.
She and I and Leahn Willmack and Gary Allen were
all label mates, you know, we were all signed to MCA,
(07:50):
and we were in a big warehouse somewhere in Bowling Green, Kentucky.
The label had us up there playing a show for
the Anderson Group, who was Walman okay, And that's back
in the day when in the electronics department you could
go in and buy all of your favorite CDs, you know,
(08:10):
And we were vying for that really great Kiosk slot,
like right when you walk home, the section.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right when you walk in.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, And so we were we were playing for the
Anderson Group, And of course that was back when you
could save your best for last two Nowadays, people don't
have an attention span of a two year old, so
you kind of have to get the best out in
about six seconds or do you lose. Yeah, But anyway,
I sang I don't pat myself into corners. That was
(08:42):
my last song of the day. And Tricia, she was
sitting to my right and she looks at me after
the applause died down, and she was like, that song
is amazing. Do you mind if I cut that right
there on stage?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Stop it?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
And I'm like eighteen years.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Old, and she's like, the reason you started singing oh, Tricia.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I mean, I grew up singing She's in love with
a boy into a hairbrush in from the mirror.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
She definitely was one of the voices that influenced the
way that I sing, for sure. And I thought I'd
fall off of the stool when she said that, I
was just so taken aback, and everybody just like erupted
in applause. And she actually cut the song and released
(09:30):
it the following year. She debuted on the award shows
and on the Opry that year. I was watching the
first time she sang it on. I believe it was
the ACM Awards, and I can just see it now.
She had this beautiful velvet dress on, and I thought
(09:50):
to myself, can you have a heart attack at eighteen,
because I think.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I might be.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I mean, I might be having one. But it was
just to hear her voice on something that I had
written was just a dream come true.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
And really they say don't meet your idols, but also
like meet your idols.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Meet your idols, made them your idols. She is the
most down to earth person and so much fun to
be around. And now you know, we're friends and we
write together and I actually have a song on her
brand new album that's out, and my song Girl's Night
In that I co wrote with her and Rachel Thibodeaucau.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
This is another dream come true. It's Trisha Yearwood and
your best friend Rachel Thibodeau. Y'all wrote it together, yes,
and it's like the ultimate girl anthem.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
It really is. I mean, I love this song so much,
and when I sing it out at writers' knights and stuff,
women come up to me left and right and they're like,
this is gonna be our girl group new song that
we play every time we get together. And I just
think it's it's time for women to start celebrating each
(11:05):
other a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
The older I get, it's like my female tribe is
they're everything, you know, because when you're going through something,
you turn to your friends and you go, this is
this is what I'm dealing with right now.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Can you help me? You know?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
And we're there for one another and we listen and
we offer really good advice and we just care. You know,
we're there for one another. And I think I think
women are ready for a little bit more of that,
you know. I just I'm feeling it, you know, there's
just a feminine energy that's kind of rising up and going, hey,
(11:50):
we need to champion each other. This isn't a competition.
We got a rally around one another and lift each
other up. And so that's kind of, you know, especially
when Rachel and I write together, it's sort of our
mission to get that message across, especially with like these
(12:10):
younger girls that are coming to town. And I didn't
really have a lot of mentors early on, and then
I became friends with people like Patty Lovelace who mentored me.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
She leg as a mentor.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
She's amazing, Like, what is her?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What is she leg as? Just a friend? She is
so down to earth.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
You know. Patty and I grew up about thirty miles from.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
One another, but didn't know each other.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
No, I mean she was like, you know, there's quite
an age difference there. But she grew up in Elkhorn City, Kentucky,
which is in you know, the Appalachian Mountains. And I'm
from about thirty miles west of there, in a little
town called Sallyersville. And it's interesting because that part of
Kentucky there are so many country music artists that have
(12:58):
come out of there. Really Keith Whitley Stop, the juds
like deep Country and skags, Loretta Lynn, Chris Stapleton, Patty Loveless,
Dwight Yoakum and those.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
People are like rich, rich rich in their like country
culture too, and.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
It's all in that Appalachio. What do you think, you know,
I think a lot of it is lack of something
else to do, because there was really nothing to do,
and everybody just kind of grew up in a musical family.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
You know. We all picked guitars and.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Banjo's and mandolins, and I had a cousin that played
piano in our church, and everybody sang and everybody played, and.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Just what you did. It's just what you did.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And we would get together for family cookouts and everybody would, yeah,
they would bring their guitars and we'd all sit around
on the porch and you know, out put lawn chairs
out in the yard and everybody would just sit and
pick and play and.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Just everybody pretty decent. Everybody can hold a tune and
can play an instrument.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yes, you can play multiple instruments, right, I do. I
play piano and I play guitar. I play bass now,
which I didn't until the list. I just added that
one to the list, and that's that's a whole nother story.
But oh on here you can. You can totally do anything.
It doesn't matter how old you are, there's no excuses.
I was thirty two. I think when I picked up
(14:33):
the bass.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Maybe it up well.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I was going to this little church up in White House, Tennessee,
and the bass player quit.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
My brother looks over and he was like, well, Becky
could play the bass, And I was like, I don't
play bass. He goes, well, you can play guitar, and
bass only has four strings, So I mean, how hard
could that be? So I was like, okay, give me
a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks and well
(15:05):
we're like hymn's and that kind of stuff. It wasn't
super difficult. And of course there are some similarities between
guitar and bass, and you can kind of like find
your way around it.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
So I've been playing guitar for twenty something years at
that point, like I knew my way around the neck
of a guitar enough to figure some simple stuff out
on my own. And so I started playing just once
a week, a few songs on Sunday, and then my
(15:38):
husband and I, along with Marty Frederickson and a few
other friends of ours, we started a band called the
Loving Mary Band, and we were literally sitting around and
this is how everybody got to sign their instruments. So
Marty was like, well, I'll you know, I can sing,
(15:59):
him play rhythm guitar, and this guy is really great
at leads, so we'll let him play electric.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And Marty's also, let's not fail to mention a great singer,
songwriter producer. Have you produced Steven Taylor? Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, he wrote Jaded and produced that record and then
several other songs with them, so they've known each other
for decades yea. And I was like, well, I I
play bass at church. I could probably you know, do that,
and I could sing and play at the same time,
which I didn't know that. Apparently that's difficult to do,
(16:36):
but my husband says it is, so I believe it
to play bass and sing because sometimes like the bass
riffs will be a different rhythm than what you're trying
to sing, and so it's like one of which I
can't do that, but I can play and uh and
sing at the same time. So it was by default
(16:59):
and they were like all right, you're the bass players.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Started and then you became the bass player in this
new band, the Loving Merry Band.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah, and we weren't playing with Stephen you know at
Tyler you know, yeah, yeah, no big deal, baby, But
there's a lot of g'll on that band. Yeah. So
we're there's six members, the three girls and three guys.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Didy'll and y'all just started it for fun. We just
started it for fun because I'm so talented. You're like,
we need to be in a band.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And we were writing songs. It was a different it
was a different time in country music, Like the bro
country movement was kind of like hot and heavy, and
that was really out of my wheelhouse. You know, I'm
a nineties country girl. I can't help myself. I just
that era of country music will always have my heart.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I feel you same, same, so good.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
So we were writing these songs and we were like,
as we're writing them, singing harmonies and't sounding like a band.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And we were like, we should just be a band.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I mean, how many times do people say that joking around,
But we actually did it. And then a few weeks later,
Marty calls everybody and he's like, well, I just got
off the phone with Steven.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Tyler just so biggie, because that's right when he was
coming to Nashville a lot.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yes, he fell in love with the songwriting community at
the Bluebird. Okay, he went to a Bluebird show and
I absolutely fell in love. And he's loved country music
for a long time. Yeah, but yeah, he called and
he was like, we're doing some things separate from Aerosmith.
Steven wants to do some stuff kind of on his
own and maybe make a country record, and he needs
(18:38):
a band, and I told him just to use our band,
and he was like, Okay, what.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Tell me you did not freak out. I mean, I
know he's been hanging.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Out with like, oh, it's freaking out.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah, You've had Forgive, which was a hit on the radio.
You've written songs for Tricia, your mentors, Patty Loveless. But
when Steven Tyler calls you and ask you to be
his band, I mean that's kind of like, yeah, a
peak moment.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I was freaking out for a lot of reasons. Tell me, Well,
the biggest reason was I had never played anything super
difficult on a bass guitar.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, let's not forget you just learned how to play bass.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yeah, everything that we were playing was like country stuff,
you know, rocking back from the one in the five
and just kind of like, you know, just keeping rhythm
and jamming out right. So Marty's like, we got to
learn these songs and it was jaded, sweet emotion, all
of these super complex bass riffs and I'm not a
(19:38):
riff player.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Are you frustrated that you are the bass player in
the band when you're so good at like guitar?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Well?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I was.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I was like, what have I done? This is what
did I agree to mistake? What have I gotten myself into?
But I've just always been the type that I just
believe that I can do anything well you can well,
And maybe it's because I believe I can, you know,
I just was not going to let that difficult task
(20:11):
ahead of me get the best of me.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Could you have traded position to become the guitar player?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I didn't want to.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
You wanted this task, Okay, you like it?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
I didn't want to. I love a challenge, you do,
Oh yeah, like a musical challenge.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I work really good under pressure. Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I feel like I rise to my best when I'm
under pressure.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Okay, So I got it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I definitely got it. And I became the queen of
like YouTube tutorials and watching all of like the Aerosmith
live footage to study Tom's you know hands and see
where he was playing on the bass guitar. Because literally,
I'm starting from scratch pretty much.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And you're in Steven Taylor's Man, this is amazing. Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I mean, so I learned those five songs really really well.
I mean I would shed those things from the time
I'd got up in the morning until the time my
head hit the pillow. I had sliced my fingers open.
I was super glueing my skin back together. It was crazy.
But our first performance was for Congress. Yeah, where who
(21:33):
was we? We were going to petition Congress to try
to help songwriters, you know, like the royalties, right, yep, yep.
So we did a show for a select group of people.
Start off, you start, I mean we were just out
of just spam. You're not small for you, it really is.
(21:56):
I mean you're going bigger. You're going home, going back
to Lick Creek.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
What so Congress? Okay, how did that go?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It went great? It went absolutely of course. I was nervous.
I oh, I just could have passed out. I mean,
I was so nervous, but I made it through the
first performance. And then after that it was like, Okay,
I can do this. I've got this, I can do this.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
What is it like being on stage of Stephen Tyler? Amazing?
Is he electric? He is? He wild?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Is all of the things that what is I magic?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Tell me what it's like? It's best you can.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
The first time that we were we were doing the
thing in Washington, d C. And the first time I'd
ever met him, right, we we just rehearsed separate from Stephen.
We rehearsed in Nashville as a band, right, getting all
of the songs ready. And he just puts so much
(22:57):
trust in us. But that's how he is, I mean,
and he he just has faith and he believes in you,
you know, And so it's it makes you want to
work harder for him knows you're going to do it
because he just knows he expects it. Right, And the
first time I ever met him was the night before
the performance, and it was at a restaurant. Pet met him.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yet you just learned Basse, you haven't met him. You're
going to play for Congress to partition for Songwriter's Royalties
and this is your first show and meet him all
at once.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yes, holy, all of that, I know. And you're trying
to be cool as a cucumber. And we were eaten
at this restaurant and waiting on Stephen to get there.
And when he walks in, he's got this fur situation
on with these sunglasses and his wild gnarly hair and
(23:51):
the feathers and all the things, and he just sucks
up all of the energy in the room, like in
a good way. Like how he because his presence is
so big, it's so big and electric that he is
all you.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Notice, Like when he comes in, what is he like?
Is he loud? Is he chills?
Speaker 2 (24:11):
He doesn't have to be.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
He just walks in.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
He just walks and breeze. Yeah, he just and he
just is right. And what's so endearing about Steven is
he so kind and nice to the fans, Like he
never makes people feel like they're intruding or whatever.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
You know, he always loves to see fans. Yeah, always,
oh yeah, even if he's eating dinner.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Oh. When we were in Europe, like our second tour
with him, we went on a world tour. This is
back in twenty eighteen, I believe is that epic? Unreal?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You saw the whole war work, Steven Tyler.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I'm not real, I know.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I don't know. I saw you like at the back
of a in a in a boat in like Venice
with a Stephen or something. Yeah, Like you're just like
traveling around with your husband who's also in the Man
and Stephen Tyler and your best friend's.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
One a lifetime opportunity.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Living your best life. Yes, everyone's getting along.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Everyone's getting along, everyone's having a great time.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So it's good.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Was super happy. We were all happy. The band was
so tight, you know, we were just we had rehearsed
and practiced and everybody just wanted to bring a level
of excellence to the stage. And it was such a circus.
It was just great. It was great.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
I mean, that's really what dreams are made of. It
really is. I mean, and that's something you could never
have dreamed up.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Oh not in a million years, Are you kidding me?
I did not listen to rock and roll when I
was growing up, because that was the devil's music, you
know what I'm saying. I listened to country music and
gospel and bluegrass and that's what I grew up singing,
and so not to mention like trying to learn base,
but I was, legit just trying to learn the songs
(25:58):
because I didn't grow up listening to these songs. And
I gained such an appreciation for rock and roll music,
I did not realize the complexity of it and the
difficulty of the arrangements. And I mean, gosh, especially Aerosmith songs,
the musicality, because you know, Steven is a musical genius,
(26:22):
he really is. Okay, his dad, I believe, was a
professor at Juilliard and he grew up underneath his you know,
his dad playing the grand piano in their house, and
so his ear is just so tuned to excellence and perfection.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
And so.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
We all felt that need to kind of like rise
to the next level. And I started out as a
girl who was playing bass, and then by the time
we were finishing all the tours, I felt like I was
a bass player.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
That's amazing. Who was a girl? What is it like
just hanging out with him? Like when you're you know,
in Zurich, sitting down having coffee, not playing a show.
What are y'all doing? What are you talking about? What
is the vibe.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
He was so generous and just talking about all of
the things that he's been through in his life. And
he's a very grateful person because I think he knows that,
you know, all the things that he did back in
the day, he probably shouldn't be here. So it was
lucky that he made it through all of that. And
(27:35):
I just feel like a lot of gratitude when i'm
like coming from him. When I'm around him, he's super
endearing and when he's talking to you, he makes you
feel like you're the only person in the world that
matters in that moment, you know. So he's he's just
an awesome person.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Did you like being in a band because you've always
been a solo artist? I really did. I liked the
dynamic of it.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I really enjoyed like singing harmonies and because I love
to harmonize.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
And it's like working together though, because there's so many
pieces and parts in movie pieces and it all comes together,
it's a huge production.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yes, it really was a lot of trust.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Like you said, with him, trusting y'all. But there's so
much trust that you have to have with each other.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yes, so hard to do it. Yeah, our band had
its own dynamic and a lot of lead singers in
our band. Ye, so there was me, He's a lead singer,
Susie McNeil, you know, from Canada. She is an amazing singer.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
So is Alicia. He's did a great singer.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
He sings, but he didn't sing in the band, and
so the three of us lead singers were Stevens backup singers.
So we had this four part harmony that sounded like
the record, you know, and it just it was great.
It was really great and so much fun to recreate
that every night, and it was just wild. It was wild.
(29:05):
The costumes were fun, everybody dressed cool, and just the instruments,
like I started playing a Hoffner bass, which is like
a Beatles bass, like a Paul McCartney bass, and Steven's
such a huge Beatles fan, you know, so that was
really cool to, you know, sort of make that instrument
my own too, And I played bass on a lot
(29:28):
of my new record. Look at how it all It
just all comes together.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Your story is like a beautiful quilt, you know, it's
like you. And that's like the thing with being an
artist and a creative like you are, and so many
people in this town are. It's like you start off here,
you are in high school, starting off getting a record
deal when you're in high school, and you probably thought
it would go one way, and then now flash forward
twenty plus years later, Yeah, here you are, and like,
(29:54):
look at your road going from that to forgive to
like Trisha Yearwood hearing your song on the spot, your
idol cutting that song yep, and now then you joining
up with Steven Tyler forming a band loving Mary, Like,
you can't plan for this stuff, no, And people probably
ask you all the time, like how do you make
it in Nashville? I mean, what do you even say
to question?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Oh my god, i'd who even knows? Yeah, if I
feel like I ever make it one day, I'll let you.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Know you have totally made it.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
But that's the thing. I heard a really interesting interview
with Keith Urban and he was like at the height
of his career, and someone asked him, like, what does
it feel like to finally have made it? He was like,
I don't know. When I make it, I'll let you know.
And I think we all sort of feel that way,
like we're just still chasing that dream. We always feel
(30:44):
like it's the dangling carrot that's just beyond our reach.
And I feel like that's what opens the opportunities though,
because if you feel like you've made it, then you're
not really chasing it anymore, and things kind of close
off to you. So I've just always tried to, you know,
stay humble and be open to opportunity and just say yes,
(31:09):
you know, when things feel right, just give it a try,
you know, don't be scared, and be persistent. I mean,
if this is what you want to do, persistence is key,
because you know, they call it a ten year town,
so you got to at least give it that long.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, So I'm not who you think I am.
Your album that you just released in May, right, Yes,
some of these songs are twenty years old, that's right.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I know.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
How did you decide because you had had is this
your fifth album? Fourth album? Oh god, how many albums?
So many albums? I don't know. You hadn't put one
out in like fifteen or so years.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, it's been a long time, and this is the
album of your dreams. This is the one, This is
the one that I it's kind of my baby, where
whereas before when I was on major labels and making records,
and I was writing a lot of songs on those
records too, but there was always one or two that
(32:08):
I wasn't crazy about that the label was like, no,
you need to do this, you know, And I call
it like, you know, craming songs down my throat. Yeah,
And I didn't enjoy that part of it. So this
time around, I got to handpick all the songs myself,
and I really feel like it just kind of weaves
(32:30):
itself and tells this story of of resilience, or at
least that's what it does for me, because even the
songs that I wrote so many years ago, they mean
something totally different to me now, just because of all
the things that have happened in the past few years.
(32:51):
Like life has changed so much.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You've had a lot of heartache.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I've had so much heartache. I lost my daddy three
years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Was it unexpected?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
It was unexpected and just super traumatic.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
And how did that impact your world?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
I was just I've never been the same since. I'm
still figuring out how.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
To be without him.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It's he was my person. We talked every day.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Your total daddy's girl, totally. It's unbelievable that people can
just be gone. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I literally felt like a piece of me went with him. Really, Yeah,
I was able to be with him when he took
his last breath. It was it was very emotionally traumatic,
just you know, physically I thought I was gonna die.
I really did. I mean just just broke my heart.
He he had had several strokes, and you know, it
(33:57):
was just one of those things where they just couldn't
save him, and I just couldn't believe it. I'm still like,
I still can't believe it. It's been three years and three months,
and some days it still feels like it just happened.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Really, it's still so raw, so raw.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
So fresh, you know, still waiting for that time makes
it easier. I don't think we're anywhere near that yet.
But you know, God has helped me. I have needed
him so much in the past three years that I
(34:40):
feel like God has been very near to me and
very close to me and helped me through it. Otherwise,
I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through it.
It was such a big loss, you know, and then.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
That means it was such a big love.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Oh, Dad was full of life, biggest, loudest, best laugh ever,
you know, just chuckled and he would crack himself up.
He would he would tell these jokes and he would
be laughing so hard his face would be purple before
(35:18):
he would get to the punchline. Can he be thinking
about the punchline?
Speaker 1 (35:21):
So he just had a good time.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yeah, and you'd be laughing at him, not even knowing
the punchline because he was laughing so hard. He'd get
so tickled.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Yeah, what a good way to be and.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
He I don't think my dad really realized how many
people loved him to the depths that they did. You know,
it was such a massive loss for the community. Did
he live in your hometown, Yeah, yeah, and he was
class president, he was valedictorian. You know, just everybody adored
(35:58):
my dad.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
He soaked his life up.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
He really did lived it hunting, fishing, you know, bird
dogs and.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
The fact that I had this relationship with you though
clearly his family values, like he knew.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
His children were everything to him. Yeah, me and my brother, yep. Everything.
And so I feel like I'm getting to a place
now where I can talk about my dad and not
completely lose it. That has been that's really taken a
lot of work, just different modes of therapy. And you know,
(36:34):
I went to a grief counselor not long after that happened,
and we were sitting around and talking and she was
asking me these questions and I felt like I was
kind of spacing out and trying to answer them as
best I could, And all I could think about when
I was in that therapy session was get I would
(36:55):
get so much more out of a songwriting session right now.
I just yeah, I did not realize how how much
co writing is therapy until I was sitting in a
therapy session with someone who didn't know me, and I
was like, it's going to take you twenty years to
(37:15):
get to the depths of myself that my co writing
family already knows, and like we're we've already talked about
this in songwriting sessions before. So I just feel like
this is very redundant. I don't know, and I'm not
knocking therapy at all.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
I'm just saying songwriting is songwriting.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
It is my therapy. Music has saved my life.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Why can you get to the depths in songwriting that
in a way that you can't in any other form?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Well, I think it has a lot to do with
the people that you're writing with and being comfortable enough
to be vulnerable and totally open.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
You know.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
I always talk about that, like, you know, you have
to be an open book. There can't be a fear
of judgment. So then it does matter who you're writing with.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Yeah, because you're sharing a lot of details.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
You're sharing your most inner thoughts. Yeah, your most inner hurts.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
You got the deepest things.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
It's going to be safe, that's right, because they're not
going to go but blab a bunch of stuff because
they really have your innermost information. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
And when you find those people, and it takes years
to find you know a handful of those people, Rachel
Rachel Tiban. Yeah, but I'm lucky. I mean I have
several people throughout the years that that I feel like
I've connected with on a songwriting level where I can
sit in a room and you know, I just am
(38:55):
kind of an open book.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Though.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I feel like we go through the things we go
through in life to share it and help other people.
So I almost feel an obligation to share these things
to let people know because I'm certainly not the only
one who's ever lost someone they love or who has
ever grieved beyond the depths of what they thought they
(39:21):
were capable of. So I know that there are other
people out there that are hurting and that are struggling
and wondering. Am I the only one that has ever
heard this bad? And I'm here to tell you, no,
you're not. But you will get through it. You will
get through it. There is a strength I think that
(39:45):
rises up in us when we cannot do anymore, and
it's like supernatural.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
You said that in one of your songs too, is
it called is It so Strong? Yeah, it's like what
happens when you're running out a week, Like when you
can't be weak anymore, you have to be I love
that you have no other choice. What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (40:03):
What's the other choice? And that's not an option.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Yeah, you know you have to be strong, So you
have to be strong.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
And I just feel like that's with my faith. I
feel like that's where God really stepped in and was
and just kind of filled me with his strength, not
my strength, because I was tapped out. Really I was
tapped out.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
You couldn't do it any more. I had together anymore.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
I had no more to give like physically, emotionally, my
heart was just broken beyond repair. And I've made it
through it. You know, I'm still making it through it.
But every day I get up and every day I
make it through another day. And it's not by my
own strength, I will tell you that.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
So, do you feel heartbroken most of your day?
Speaker 2 (40:54):
Earlier on I would have said yes. Probably the first
two years. Yeah, most of my day I was.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Just heartbroken, covered in grief.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Totally drowning in it, drowning in it. So it's been
a journey just clawing my way out of it. But
you know, you wake up and you show up every
day and you do the work and you pray, and
(41:25):
you just trust that God is a plan. I honestly,
I don't know why that happened, why that had to happen,
But I'm just trusting that everything bad that happens in
my life that God is working it out for some
kind of good somewhere down the road. And that's what
(41:48):
I have to believe or otherwise it just doesn't make
sense to me. That it's unbearable. Yeah, and my brain
is super analytical, so I have to I have to
reason it within myself, Like, Okay, There's got to be
a reason for this, and I'm just trusting that one
day I'll know what the reason is.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
And is this when you put the album together? In
this series season of grief.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
He was during the loss of my dad. I was
singing some of these vocals like soon after he passed away?
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Did it make did his loss make you want to sing?
Did it take you to sing? Or did it make
you like where did music fit in when he passed?
Because this album was birth because of that season.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
It was birthed right in the middle of all of it,
and your outlet. It was my outlet in a way
where I was able to sort of redirect my focus
a little bit and just sort of have something else
to think about, yeah, you know, and to wrap myself
up in for a few hours of the day where
(42:53):
I wasn't completely consumed with just missing my dad and
you know, all the things. And something happened the other day.
I can't remember off the top of my head what
it was. Was something I think it was with the
Tricia song. Oh, I tell you what it was. I
(43:13):
got a call from Tricia's manager and she goes, I
want you and Rachel to do the Today Show. And Rachel.
So we're doing that in July.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
You and Rachel and Trisha are all going to do
it together and seeing Girls Night in together. We are
what a moment.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
And so it's when things like that happens my first instinct, Oh,
I need to call my dad, you know. And that's hard.
That's hard. His number is still on speed dial on
my phone, like he's still one of my favorites on
the front of my phone.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
Oh. Those are all the things that, like, you don't
think about it. It's like, yeah, having to like take away the.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Number never never gonna happen. Oh, yeah, that's never gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Oh, I know, brutal.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
I know. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
It's those kind of little everyday reminders of just like whoa.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Going through voicemails, emailing them to myself, so I don't
ever lose them like those things because those are irreplaceable.
I can never get that stuff back. So it's just
stuff like that that you don't really think about. We
take our people for granted, you know. So I see
my mom all the time. After Daddy passed away, we
(44:33):
moved her from that little town in Kentucky because my
brother was here too. My brother is a dentist in Hendersonville,
So just the two of us, right, and there was
no there was no way she could manage all of
that stuff by herself, you know. So we're like, Mom,
(44:54):
we're moving you to Tennessee. And so she lives here now,
and I'm able to just you know, kind of jump
in my car and hit up the interstate and see her.
I'm like, you know, maybe twenty minutes away. And so
I don't take my people for granted. I wish I
would have gone home, you know, hindsight's twenty twenty. I
(45:16):
wish I would have gone home so much more and
seen my dad. And my dad was kind of like
a homebody. He didn't really come down here very much.
My mom would come to Nashville all the time to visit,
and I've seen her a lot over you know, the
past twenty years since I've lived here. But my dad
(45:37):
was more of a you know, it's fishing season, it's
hunting season.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Here's a big life.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Yeah, It's like he's living his life. And then I
would go in for Thanksgiving or Christmas or maybe sometime
through the summer. But man, I wish I would have
gone home more and just spent more time with him,
But the time that we spent together was great and
it was always quality. And but I talk to him
every day on the phone. Life's a freaking flash, isn't it.
(46:04):
Life is life and hard right now?
Speaker 1 (46:07):
You've had like issues going on within your body too, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I about a year after my dad passed away, I
developed a chronic illness and chronic fatigue, just a lot
of health stuff that had to do with the grief.
I think it would be naive to think otherwise, honestly.
I Mean, there are so many studies that have come
(46:32):
out about chronic illness being connected to emotional trauma, and
so I'm pretty sure that was at least the onset
of it. So and I'm you know, working my way
through that.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Too, just tired all the time.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
I'm getting a lot better. I'm able to, you know,
function pretty much normally now. But it's it's been two
years every day, just like researching, and I mean I've
been to so many specialists and it was like the
Western medicine route just was not working for me. There
nobody had any answers. They just had zero answers for.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Me because there's none nothing that like appears to be.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yeah, they would do blood work and they would do
all the tests, and they're like, you're totally normal, and
I'm like, I'm not totally normal. I feel like I'm dying.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Have you found any answers out? Oh?
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, yeah. I've been working with functional medicine practitioners and
you know, really treating a lot of root causes, and
I've discovered so many healing modalities now that I do
every day. I work on myself from the time my
feet hit the floor in the morning, I'm like working
(47:45):
on my lymphatic system and I sweat in my sauna,
so I'm like doing all the things like trying to detox.
And as to that, I think it's just a kind
of a myriad of a few different things. But I
think what happened was the emotional trauma tanked my immune system,
and so what my immune system was able to sort
(48:09):
of keep at bay and manage without any symptoms, and
I was one healthy. I think it was just like
my body just went, Okay, no more, I can't take anymore.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
What have been some of the best healing things you've
done for your body? I love to study this. I've
been on a big yeah. Lately, Yeah, I started drinking
baking soda and lemon.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
What are yeah? And do you add your salt for.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Order my salt? And I've ordered electro like powder yeah.
And what is it the oxygen water or it's like
like ozone? Yeah, and then apparently like oxygen chambers.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
I'm like, all, yeah, treatments, there's all kinds of things
that we can do forever.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
What are your go tos?
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Just my everyday go to So my routine is my
feet hit the floor. I have a little vibration plate
that I stand on.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
I do that for about ten minutes. I get my
lymphatic drainage pathways opened up. I start doing they call
it the Big six. You start here, you go here,
rubbing spots, yep, tapping, padding, rubbing, just trying to get
those sort of opened up. And on the mornings, when
I have enough time, then I'll hop in my sauna,
(49:26):
sweat it out for twenty or thirty minutes. Awesome, hop
into a detox bath. What are you putting there? So
I do a couple of We're going there way, We're
going deep.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Oh, I'm so interested. I am like so deep into this.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
I do a couple of two cups of epsom salt
and then whatever essential oil. Like a lot of times
I'll just do eucalyptus because it's it's just nice. It
kind of opens up your sinuses and gets the air
flowing in real good and deep. And then I add
a cup of baking soda.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Baking sodas like a free illuminum but that's like a healer.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yeah, it really pulls. It's just such an alkaline sort
of come yeah, a cup notes here, yeap a cup,
and then two cups of ebbson salt. Okay, And then
I do that in you know, really hot water and
get in there and just kind of soak it out
for about twenty minutes, take a shower, rense all the
(50:22):
toxins off, and then I'm about my day. Okay, massive
amounts of water, lemon salt. It's hydration and really flushing
things that aren't supposed to be in the body. And
ever since I got sick a couple of years ago,
(50:42):
it's like the hydration has really been one of the
big keys.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
You've got to have the salt in.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
There, got to have the minerals, and you got to
have the hydration. And usually when I start my day
on the right foot, I'll have a good day. I'll
feel off if I miss one of those elements of
my routine, like if I haven't drunk enough water, I'll
feel it. Yeah, I definitely will start. And then you
(51:08):
know there's this whole element too, Caroline, I'm in perimenopause.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
I know, right, it happens.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
It happens that so and so a lot of those
symptoms can feel. It's confused, like the same chronic Yeah,
a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
It's a fireworks show over there.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
I'm telling you. I love ly and Morgan. She's like
one of my fasts. I just love to listen to
her talk about all the perimenopause stuff and and given
a voice to women that are entering into that phase
of life because it was so taboo and nobody ever
wanted to talk about it. And you know, if you
talk about that, you're just sudmitting that you're old. No,
(51:47):
you're not a woman. You're just a woman. And this
is a normal process that like women are walking around
with brain fog. You know, they're walking around with brain fog.
Have a little grace on them.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Oh my gosh. You know, we're walking around with your
body completely changing.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Yeah, yeah, anxiety for no reason at all. Just like,
why do I feel.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Women we break from something happening? Yeah, it's always, it's always.
There's always something happening. There's always a different phase of
the hormonal cycle that we're in, yep, in our life.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
And it's true and it's fact, and it's okay because
that's the normal process. That's just what our bodies do.
But our bodies bring forth life. Yeah, you know, we're
very complex machines.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
Tell me about it. I mean, okay, so all this
is happening while you're writing. So why did you title
it I'm Not Who You Think I Am?
Speaker 2 (52:41):
So I wanted to call it I'm Not Who you
Think I Am because I felt like early on in
my career, you know, people sort of like got an
idea of my artistry and what I sound like and
the kind of songs that I write and want to
put out into the world. And then in between then
and now, I've lived fifty lifetimes. Yeah, you know, And
(53:04):
that's that's why it's because now I have this whole
another story in between these two periods in life where
I toured with one of the biggest rock icons in
the whole world, all around the world, and I'm not
who you think I am.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
What are some things that we might not have thought
about you?
Speaker 2 (53:36):
I like rock and roll music. I love that edge
and all of those things that that rock and roll
kind of brings to the table. And I tried to
incorporate a little bit of that.
Speaker 1 (53:51):
You know, these people who were you before.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
I feel like I was someone who loved that edgier
side of music, but just hadn't experienced it where I
could feel authentic in delivering that, you know what I mean?
And I am such a no fake, a try about
me kind of person that if I am forced to
(54:17):
sing something that I don't believe in, you can smell
it from a mile away. I cannot sell something I
don't believe in. And I think I had to go
through all those experiences to be able to like put
on that outfit too and be able to sell it
and feel comfortable in it. And then also just you know,
(54:39):
the loss and the challenge of going through illness and
coming out on the other side of it. There's just
so many stories wrapped up in the last fifteen years,
and I'm like, that's all I've ever wanted to do
with my music is to help people. Even when Forgive
was a big hit, it was like I would have
(55:00):
people come up to me in festivals and different shows
and stuff, and I got both ends of the spectrum
as far as the story as they would tell, but
they would say stuff like, thank you so much for
that song. You know, it gave me the courage to
leave and get out of that situation, which is heavy.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
I mean that's very heavy.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
That's not I don't take that lightly, And it's a
weighty thing, you know. In a writing room, I always
try to be careful, like what are we saying?
Speaker 1 (55:27):
What?
Speaker 2 (55:28):
What is someone going to be receiving when they listen
to this song. But then I would have people come
up to me and say, thank you so much for Forgive.
It gave me, you know, new perspective and we were
able to sit down and work things out.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
So the power of a song music is it's such.
Speaker 2 (55:47):
A healer and a motivator. I think to you know,
just kind of like make those decisions, help us through
the things that we're going through. So I do not
take that obligation lightly. I really don't. I know the
power of music, and I'm always trying to be really
(56:08):
conscious of what I'm saying, because it's important.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
It changes people's lives. Well, I'm so excited for you.
I'm so excited that this album is out, that it's
literally been like fifteen years in the making, and it's
so special and it's so you, and everything about it
feels so real and it's on your terms. Your voice
is one of the best voices ever. Thank you. It's amazing.
Thank you. And I mean, it's just so cool to
(56:34):
see your journey because I feel like that is you
are just such an artist and it's like seeing someone
like you and being able to look at the past
twenty years of your career and see where it started,
where it led you to all the experiences, and where
you are now. And it's ultimately, like you said, it's
not about like the accolades or the fame. No, it
(56:55):
is the journey that it took you, and it took
you on that it's taking you on that you can
never plan for, and it's given you this richness and
this fullness that you then write about and share and
it's like the cycle repeats and that is artistry, that
is and it's so beautiful to see it play out
and it's so cool to see your story and to
see all the lives you've lived and now to have
(57:17):
this album and not how you think I am, just
like kind of like letting people know, Okay, here I am.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
Now you know here it is. And what's so interesting
about this album is I feel like it's super deep
and it's super fun, and I feel like that's who
I am as a person. I'm not much in between.
I mean, I can be just silly and funny and
telling all the jokes, or I can go there and
(57:44):
there's not because you know, the older, I get your perspective,
your priorities. Everything shifts, you know. I think the things
that we go through we gain a lot of wisdom,
absolutely know, and I feel like I'm just now stepping
into that realm of being able to make better decisions,
(58:08):
more thought out decisions. I heard someone put it this
way the other day. Knowledge and information is input, right,
It's what we take in, but wisdom is what we
do with it. So I'm really trying to walk in
more wise decisions in these later years in my life.
(58:32):
And I'm just so thankful to be at this stage
in my life. You know, I wouldn't. I mean I'd
love to have my daddy back. Other than that, I
don't know that I would change anything.
Speaker 1 (58:44):
There's nothing. When you look on it, you're like, this
is this is this played out beautifully for you.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
It's even the bad things. It's made me who I am,
and it's brought me to a place of appreciation that
you don't get to when everything's hunky dory, when everything's
just going your way. I don't feel like we appreciate
those things until we come out of the muddy grubs,
(59:12):
out of the pit, and then we're like, oh, thank
you that.
Speaker 1 (59:15):
It will take you down.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
Yes, it can if you let it.
Speaker 1 (59:19):
But then you get to the other side, like you said,
and you have this wisdom, but there you go and
such stratitude. That's how you get the wisdom, but how
you get it. But that's how you get it. That's
how you get it. There's really no other way.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
There really isn't.
Speaker 1 (59:32):
There's no shortcut. Yeah, it's just the long haul. Yeah,
and just stay in the course.
Speaker 2 (59:37):
There There is no such thing as learning from other
people's mistakes.
Speaker 1 (59:41):
No, you can like observe it.
Speaker 2 (59:42):
You try, yeah, try to teach like our youth and
like my niece and my nephew and my extended nieces,
and like Rachel's daughter, you know, she's like a second
I'm her second mom, you know. So I really try
to like tell them, you know, do this and don't
do this, and like be smart about your decisions. But
(01:00:05):
at the end of the day, you cannot learn from
other people's mistakes. You have to try to instill as
much information and as much knowledge into this new generation
coming up. But ultimately they're going to have to walk
out their own path too. Oh and it breaks my
heart it just cause you want to save them from
hurt and heartache. And my parents tried to do it
with me. You know, shouldn't do this, shouldn't get married
(01:00:28):
so young, you shouldn't you know, do this. And they
were right about every single thing they warned me about.
But I had to walk it out on my own.
It's the only way we can learn.
Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Okay, I'm going to wrap up. This has been so fun.
I want to ask you about one last little section
about your love life and your marriage. You've been married
to Alicia for how long?
Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
We've been married for twelve going almost thirteen years. It'll
be thirteen years this October, and we've been together for
eighteen years.
Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
I know what's the secret to it. And I don't
know if this is I don't know that. I don't
know if you talk about this, But you guys are
child free? Did y'all? Was that a choice that you
always knew you wanted to make or was it how
life dealt you the cards? Because everyone has a different
journey with that, so respected all.
Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Alicia has a son from his previous marriage who's my
step son. Amazing, and I've just I've kind of been
his mom since he was you had. I've been a
second mom. Yeah, yep. And I feel like I've raised
a lot of kids in my life, you know, because
(01:01:29):
it takes the village. When my brother started having kids,
he was just getting started in his dental practice, and
I was very present in my nephew and my niece's life,
helping raise them early on. So I've done a lot
of child rearing. Just I just didn't give birth. But
(01:01:50):
that doesn't matter, you know, We're still We're still passing
on what we know and and our love to these
human beings and watching them grow up.
Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
My nephew's now going off to college. I cannot believe it.
Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Like cause I can just see him now, just a
little baby looking like Charlie Brown, And.
Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Yeah, I know it's unbelievable and it flies so fast.
Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
But no, I just you know, I never really saw
motherhood as part of my journey. Even when I was
a young girl. It was never something that I said, oh,
I can't wait to be a mom.
Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Yeah, you know, I never did either, honestly. It just
wasn't until a little one of my thirties. It hit
me hard one time, and Sunny's here and I struggle
with like fertility issues like crazy. Yeah, but I never
was like that either. Yeah, I never like love a baby.
I'm not the person that's like, oh, give me your baby.
Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
I don't know if you are, but I used to be.
Sometimes I think about it now and like, did I
make the right choice, because we always kind of second
guess our itself sometimes. But but I think I've done
really good with my life and I'm happy where I'm
at right now. And I, like I said, I really
wouldn't change anything. I'd love to have my daddy back,
(01:02:59):
but other than that, I wouldn't change anything because I
feel like who I am right now.
Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
I like myself. I mean is that not the goal
to be able to look in the mirror every day
and be happy with who you are.
Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
And it took a long time for me to get here.
There have been so many years of self loathing and
just you know, body image stuff and such a waste
of time. Look back on those pictures and I'm like,
I would love to look.
Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
Like that now.
Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
And I thought, you know, I was fat or ugly
or and I'm just like, you know what all the.
Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Things I did to my body back then, I'm like,
I'm so sorry, buddy, You've served me so well.
Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Yes, thank you body that I can see and that
I can walk and not too much hurts. Some stuff hurts,
but not too much, you know. And I think we
need to be better to ourselves, more loving to ourselves.
But I'm getting there. I'm starting to get there, So
I'm happy about that.
Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
What a journey, REBECCAA and Howard, what a beautiful, full journey.
What is success to you? I have to this will
wrap up with this question, and then I always and
would leave your light. But what is success to you?
Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
Success to me is just being happy, finding joy in
whatever circumstance, because you know, real happiness isn't circumstantial comes
from the inside. And so if I can try to
find that joy and that happiness and that ray of
(01:04:28):
light and steal in the darkness, then to me that
success because that's what will carry you through life. You
can be like I've learned this the past couple of years.
Money does not buy you happiness. Absolutely, I would give
everything I have to be one hundred percent you know,
in my body the way I was before I got sick.
So obviously money's not gonna help me there. So but
(01:04:52):
we can find joy, and we can find happiness within ourselves,
then we can get through anything. And that's what real
success is.
Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
A men, I always wrap up with, leave your light.
What do you want people to know? Just drop some
insfo not that that wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
I want people to know that you were loved, You're
not alone, and there's always hope. Don't ever lose hope,
and keep your faith. Keep your faith strong, because that'll
get you through everything.
Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
Beautiful, Thank you so much. I'm not who you think
I am is out right now, Rebecca n Howard, we
stick around for a few questions. I do a little bonus, okay,
it's called tell me more so this will air on Thursday.
Thank you so much for joining me. Just love, such
treasure and a treat to get to talk to you.
You too, Okay, Rebeca and Howard. Where can everyone find you?
(01:05:47):
I'm on Instagram, I'm on the TikTok. Are you on
the TikTok? I'm on the TikTok, tick and.
Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Tik I did it, I did it, I did it.
Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
And to make videos. I don't even go on TikTok.
I know I need to. I'm not much of a dancer,
but I do some of the trends ever now and again.
I try.
Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
I try to be you know, fun.
Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
Yeah, okay, So she's on the TikTok.
Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
She's on Instagram, Facebook, Rebecca Lenhoward official, dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
Amazing. Okay, check her.
Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
Out, check you out here.
Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
It comes album. Okay, thank you so much. Buyer black Eye.
Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
I love you, Love you too.