Prepare for a raw, no-holds-barred chat with my bestie Kristen Brust as she opens up about surviving a young divorce and then the rollercoaster of being married to a country music star, Preston Brust of LOCASH. Kristen shares how she overcame her darkest moments and found joy in motherhood, all while dishing on the hilarious and heartfelt lessons learned along the way—including why you should *never* let your friends pressure you into a sexy photo shoot just 10 days after giving birth! From laughs to life-changing moments, and the heart behind her podcast “In Kristen We Brust,” this convo between two best friends is one you can’t miss!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Adam. Carol Lone, she's a queen of talking to you
a song. You know, she's getting really not afraid to
feel its episode, so just let it flow. No one
(00:24):
can do be quiet. Carl Lone is sound for Caroline.
I'm really glad you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I love you. It's like the easiest thing. I get
excited this. I'm like a rainy champ on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I feel how many times you this is Kristen Breast.
Everyone welcome to get real quick. Kristine Breast. I'm not
a singer, but you have worked with a lot of singers.
You are married to singer. You are surrounded by singers,
which you know what I wonder about this.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I met you because I love singers, Yeah, artists.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Tell me about the day you met me.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Oh, I wanted to a glorious day. It was a
good day. You were so pretty. I thought you might
be mean.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
You thought that would be mean.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I remember the minute I saw you. Oh, I was like,
this person is stunning. I still feel that way every
time I see you. I really need to feel worn down.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
But I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
We think we all are tired, but yet here we
are still we rise. I remember so I worked for
Michael's record label. That's what it's called. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Michael's on a thousand horses yep.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And they were my first band, the baby band that
my label had signed, and I got flown in before
I was officially working to the indie five hundred of
the Fun show to the Infield. Yeah, and I walked
on their bus and there you were you.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Like it was like love at first sight, Like, I mean,
it came to me immediately.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I don't remember what. I don't remember a lot of
things anymore, but I really remember the minute I met you.
I do to It's magnetic, isn't it. You're so special
to you. Well, yeah, and a lot of people or
you wouldn't have a podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But to you though, We've always really connected.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, you're just my person.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You're like, really, you're calling me Egg?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I did, And that's tricky, you know, it's tricky because
it was like, how do I call you Caroline? It's
like hard for me, I know, why do you call
me Egg? Because I'm convinced that we were once the
same Egg split? We split, and we lived separate lives
for far too long, and then we found each other.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Tell me why you think we match.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I think you're like the twin I never had, in
the way that you're all the things I always wished
I could be.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
What in the world are you talking about? Like you
have no you know that more than that.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
That's what we match. That's the part we match. There's
a lot of parts that like we match on. And
then there's this like real beautiful, crazy energy that you
have and this like dream big, go for it. I
think you do so well, and I think that I
sometimes get stuck at like the PowerPoint phase of like
(03:15):
laminating the binder sheets and you just keeping.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
But you are so good and making sure all the
details are perfect, and I'm terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
This is why a split egg.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I hate details. I don't even know how to cook
because I hate reading cookbook instructions. You can follow the details.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
And when you say you hate details, part of my
spine hurts. It hurts my feelings because the details are
like everything, Oh, it's everything everything. Why, that's just where
you do all of life. That's where the inside of
minutes come from.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I like the experience, but like I don't like thinking
about the details.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So because I married one of you, I like to
free flow.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I want to walk in and I want it to
flow and I just want to like ride the wave
with it. But I don't even think the details. I
just want to be in the water with it. But
you appreciate the details, oh my god, so much people
do the details like you. I'm like, how do you
do that? And it makes my spine hurt because I
wish that I knew how to do that. I love
you and I appreciate it so much, and it's so
(04:15):
much love. It's it's such an act.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Of love, so much love. Yeah, I don't, I would say. Now,
I'm like less. Do you remember when you met me
in my big bag of rules? We can pennant tablet,
never come back to it if you don't want.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
To talk about that.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
But I used to be stuck in the detail, I
feel like, or stuck in the plan, I should say.
And I feel like marrying an artist has really freed
me from that.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
You're married to Preston from Low Cash.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I am half of low Cash and he's a free flow. Yeah,
he's a hustler. He's the hardest working dude I've ever
met in my life.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Tell me about low cat Cash has worked harder than
any man they got going forever, and they're so good,
and they keep reinventing themselves and they keep evolving, and
I'm like, freaking low Cash man, I know it's not
I ever count them out.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You can't.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
You can't. They will not leave, so you can't.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
They're they've never been out.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
They're never If you don't ever leave, you're never out there.
And they're never leaving and they're never out.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
And I think now we've established I'm like, we have,
We just established it now so that we can just
kind of like safely dis count ourselves always in.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You're always in. I love that about Low Cash.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Though, I mean hustlers. And for a while I was
afraid to say, like, oh, they're the hardest working you know, duo.
And now I'm like, actually, I think it's clear, Like
come at me, bro, I don't think anyone can compete.
No one can.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
No, they've out, they've outrun the race on everyone. They're
so but they're I'm telling you, I think they're better
than they've ever been.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I do too.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I'm glad you said that. I really feel that.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah. I think there's a comfortability and an honesty that
comes with their age and just how many years they've
been doing it now, and you know what, you got
it my better.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
This is honestly, Michael and I talk about this because
now we've all been here for such a long time.
If you hang in here this long, it's because A
you're really made for it, and B you actually have
something to offer, because if you're not really good, you're
gonna run out. You can't fake it for that long. No,
you cannot fake it for this long. Like you actually
have to be like.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All the humans have been born and are of drinking
age since they started this.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Wild. It's wild times. No side hobby, Yeah, no, it's not.
This is a Caroline hobby. Though I love you. What
else do you want to talk about? You're in my
delivery room. You want to talk about that?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I do what I want to talk about? Your big
bag of rules?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh? I did have a big bag of rules. Okay,
So as the story goes, you Okay, So you met
me actually ironically at like the darkest time in my life.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I was coming out of a divorce.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Okay, and we had talked about a podcast that you
just put out. Yeah, one more minute, is that all
the same time period.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, that's all the same period.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Can will you go into it in your own way?
I can weave it, weave it. Yeah, so you met me.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I take this big job with big machine, and they're like, listen,
you're going to travel a ton. You'll probably never be home. Hindsight,
if you're so comfortable being away from your huse than
that much and more leaning towards the excited part of
the mary, Yeah, like that might be a sign. So
if you're in a relationship and you're hearing this and
you're excited to not be with your husband, that is
a red flag. Anyways. So I take the job.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
So having subspace for your husband, it's great, it's great.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Missing him is the fun part. Yeah, that's where you're like,
that's a green flag, right, Yeah I was missing You're
like Douce stoked. Yeah, to be.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Pretty stoked out of his breathing room. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Fine, person, just not my person, you know. Anyway. So
I take the job and I meet you, and life
is great because I have you and I'm traveling a ton.
And then I just would realize every time I was
home there was this really sad, deep sadness that I
had because I was like alone with myself.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
What happened when you're alone with yourself?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Nothing good? And it was great. The job was so
great at keeping me so busy. You know, record labels
in Nashville are relentless. They make sure that you don't
even really have time to eat or drink, party atmosphere
all over the place. You're just living your You're just gone,
and in those spare minutes that you're sitting, you are
already behind in your email, so like there's no time
(08:11):
to really think about your personal life. So I do
think looking back, probably, yeah, looking back, I think God
like really moved a lot of pieces and was like
this is where we'll be to keep us moving. But
then there would be these really long Texas drives.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
This will get you in Texas, man, Texas does it.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
The tears in Texas totally mackerel.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
She's a heartbreak song, she She's a healing Texas is beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I loves Texas. Might be the only state big enough
to hold all the emotions I had at the time,
to be honest. So yeah, it just was really low.
I remember just getting to the freeze. So there's a
freeze in Nashville for anybody that's not the music business.
Like right around like December ish, everyone freezes and and
so your job becomes less and then you're alone with
yourself more with less to do.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
It is holiday season, holidays, sad, really sad if through
a heartbreak, and I was really going in through a heartbreak.
So every the noise shut down. It was holiday season,
it was cold, and you were alone with your sadness.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, I lived in Kansas City at the time and
worked remotely for the label. Because I was just traveling
in about Kansas City was part of my territory. It
made sense, and yeah, I just was alone. I remember,
so I just put out this podcast. I had this.
I got very very low and to the point where
I did want to take my own life. And I
remember I was in a tool skirt and I was
(09:34):
in like holiday cute, a really great outfit for.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
What it's worth, very fashionable.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, I just love that part of life, like stiling's
fun to me. And I remember just being in this
really cute outfit. I remember taking forever to get ready,
Like I just remember feeling like I was moving through
like drying cement, and everything felt like I lifted one
thousand pounds, and I just it was so heavy and
I was at an all time low weight, which is
(09:59):
all so ironic. So it just felt like everything was
very hard, just like impossibly hard. Getting ready for that
party felt hard. It felt dark. I felt like I
didn't want to go, and I just remember thinking like,
no one is coming from me. It's really sad. That
actually makes me emotional hard times.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So what did you do?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I don't, It just was I remember thinking of ways
that I just wanted out. I felt shameful that a
marriage was ending. I hated that we will get to
the back of rules because I remember where we're headed.
I promise I just take the back rows. I never
take the expressway in stories, so what's wrong with me?
They do? So yeah, I just I just I just
(10:49):
felt really deeply lonely and shameful, and I hated no
one gets married, I think to get divorced, you know.
And it felt like even he didn't want to tuck
it in in a like really beautiful Nicholas Sparks way
that I had envisioned where we would go to this
like mutual loving dinner and you know, have a glass
of wine and looking into each other's eyes. And thank
each other for the experience, like they never got that
(11:11):
wonderful growth. Yeah, that's very mature. Does anyone get that?
I don't know. I mean I hope so they do.
And nobody wants this.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Well, that's the most advanced, uh evolved couple that's ever
walked the face of the earth. And they're actually a
TV couple.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, and they're inspiring others to do the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It's great, Honestly, it's so good to see the romance.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, I would love that, but I didn't get that.
And in fact, I got a text saying he wanted
a divorce.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So he wanted it not you.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, we had split and I kind of thought, maybe
we'll just get like minutes and we'll come back together.
That's my deep actually thought. I thought that would happen.
And no, I got a text message. It's like the
Carry Bradshaw equivalent getting broken up with them and post it,
you know, And it just was dark and it sucked
and I hated it, and I remember just thinking, I
just want out of this. There's nothing like what am
(11:58):
I working for?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
You know, you probably see any future at that point.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
No, my parents weren't coming. No, what I just you know,
everyone's busy in their own lives. That's the weird part
about that job, too, is you pop into lives that
are always going. You're just a character in a story
that pops in and out. And it was such a
surreal experience to just like always be popping into like
people's kids volleyball games, and you know, they're having family
(12:22):
dinner and taco Tuesday and you're and I didn't have
any of that. What a wild season, you know. Anyways,
So I scraped myself in a toolskirt off the floor
and I remember the floor. Oh, I was on the
I just laid on the floor in the middle of
my pretty room. My pretty tool skirt is so helpless,
(12:44):
and I just thought, I just don't want to do
this anymore. And I kept thinking, no one would even
suspect this feeling because I was so good.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
If my childhood taught me nothing else, it was that
you just go with the narrative, right, So the narrative
was make it look shiny, make it look good, sweep
it under the rug, and keep going. But no one
would have known how dark it was, I think. So
I eventually did.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
You're talking about this? I know it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's really not easy.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
But it's also just honest.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Now, I well, you know, a National Mental Health Day
was a week ago, and I think, I think now
there's just like this epidemic of like people not getting
truthful information down to the people whose stories were watching.
(13:39):
I think we don't talk about like the messy, hard
shit enough. I just don't. I don't want everyone to
log on and see me weeping in a corner. That's
not my goal. I just think, like you wouldn't probably
look at a lot of the people that were all
always around and think, man, I bet at one time
she was so low. You know. It's kind of like, oh,
(14:01):
life is a gift, and we just keep moving and
we have these incredible experiences and beautiful lives and we
do I mean, I get to go to Whole Foods
and buy my groceries. Hashtag blessed, you know. But I
think it is not completely honest, and I think that
the world is probably craving more of a deeper connection
and more honesty about people than ever. And I just thought,
(14:24):
I just want people to know they're not alone. That's
always it for me, Since the beginning of time, I
felt alone. So many times in my life.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Is that why? Because you felt so alone.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
So alone starting with and in nineteen eighty two. So
when you're born, Yeah, what was your childhood like?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Really tricky. I you know my dad, my dad was
in he was addicted to drugs and alcohol. My parents
were partiers. My mom tried really hard think to normalize,
which she could normalize. But you know, at a certain point,
you just kids get smart, and kids have this really
(15:07):
unique way also of like making everything their fault. And
I just remember thinking, like, you know, if I don't know,
like it just was. It was. It was wild, It
was angry and rageful. I think I thought if we
were like the best of the best kids, or we
(15:28):
did all these really wonderful things, like maybe that would
make him choose us over like a bar or whatever
else he was up to. That's such a big thought
and feeling to have to carry it.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sorry, Yeah, I just look back on childhood now and
I just see all the places like Jesus met me
in those places so deeply. I've had a lot of therapy,
so it doesn't I'm not like emotionally detachment. I talk
about these things, but I do feel like a really good,
deep sense of like relief and like inside out healing
in all those situations. So that doesn't like hurt me
(16:03):
as much.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
To say, am because you were in hard on your healing.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Oh yeah, I had to was it?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Was it swallowing you alive?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah? And I think becoming a mom also changes things.
It's not lost on me. Love and I My oldest
is a girl, and she is we're two days apart.
We were due to be a day apart, and I thought,
this is I remember deciding when I was twenty seven.
I decided that from me forward was not going to
know this life, that I was changing the trajectory in
(16:32):
my family history. I wanted to be not perfect, but
I wanted to be more whole and more honest about
the way I did life. And so that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Why'd you finally make that line in the sand?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think I just was tired of the upkeep, you know,
like there's this narrative that was created that I had
to play and uphold. But it wasn't a narrative I decided.
And I don't know this is socially it may not
even match for people, but it was like I'm paying
my own bills. I'm doing my own thing, Like why
(17:05):
do I have to participate in this story? Still?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
You know, like what what makes me feel like I'm
like in this like I'm bound to this upkeep that's
exhausting me and it's not honest.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, And it's like when you get older. I was
actually talking to Michael about this, just about schooling system
and stuff. Because teachers and adults and figures, like, with
the best of intentions or whatever, what they can put
they can say sweeping statements and put it across and
over a child's life that that child then feels that
(17:38):
that is who they are. They can like literally put
that over a child's life. And so what you speak,
why am I getting emotional?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I'm gonna get emotion what you what you speak over.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Children is so impactful because like, if you speak these
certainties over them, or if they have neglect and you
feel like you have to like do something to earn love,
like you make that into who you are, and your
whole personality becomes that and you don't even know why.
And then when you finally get to your age, when
you're like, why am I even playing by this rule book?
Of these unhealed people who happen to be the first
(18:07):
guides of your life, and you appreciate them for bringing
you into the world, but they are not the only
people who have value in this earth to you. And yes,
they did a big part and got you here, but
like then you come to a point where it's like,
why am I letting them speak over me? What I
know is not true anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, it's tiring. You're keeping up a narrative you didn't create,
and you and like find it. That's what you all
want to do. And I'm not here to like Mike
bust and I'm not here to like preach from the hilltops.
I'm just like my whole thing was, I'm just not
participating anymore.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And you get to choose because you know who you are,
you know what you value. I know it doesn't sound good, yes,
and so now it's up to you to have to rewire,
which is fucking hard, hardest, so hard. I remember we
used to send each other pictures of like people with
gold light flashing through. Yes, like I'm rewiring my life
with gold light. Yes, gold light. It sounds insane, but
(18:58):
like all these things, like I am rewiring everything about myself.
So I don't believe the lies.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Well, it's it like, is exhausting.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's exhausting because it's healthy.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It is second to second.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
But how much more exhausting is it to stay in
the toxic, unhealthy world?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
If that will kill you, I honestly think it'll eat
you alive.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
So then it's exhausting to get healthy. But at least
you're getting relief.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, and the people from me on, like my family,
will know that there was that work, and they'll see
and feel something different, and hopefully they'll be able to
make more educated, emotionally educated choices, you know, moving forward.
I think, so, what were your back of rules? So
when I met you? I so because I think I
(19:42):
grew up so structureless. I grabbed a bunch of rules
because it just felt like safe.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Kids love discipline, they love boundaries, they love structure, They
just do. Even Legend Wild the middle of our family.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Who but you named him Legend Wild?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I know I did it to myself.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Wait, you can't name a boy legend Wild inspect anything.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I mean, the way he is has a mullet. He
says he's gonna drive for Monster Jam. He is Will Ferrell. Yeah,
he smells like mud and poor decisions, and I love
him so much anyway anyway, so I just I just
think that that is where all the rules came from.
And then I was suffocating under all the self rules
(20:20):
that I made, and you were the first one to
be like, wait, so why are you doing that? And
I was like, yeah, I don't know. And you're like,
but why is that a rule? And I was like
I just because it is. And you're like, but but
who said and I was like I think me and
you're like yeah, so I no one wants the big
baggar rules. And then you even said it must be
heavy carrying that big bag of rules. Here comes Kristen
with the big baggar rules. Yeah, and I was like, yeah,
(20:44):
I don't want it. I didn't, but why do you
start doing it?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh? There you are there, I am just taking in
her big baggar rules again. Big baggar rules so exhausting.
So the bag is down and unpacked. We cut the cord.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah. I just have sorted through all the uneeded madness
and I feel a lot lighter. I feel like more important,
like more recently just walking in my purpose, more like
the calling. The minutes feel slower, which is crazy because
I just had a baby. And also I feel like
she's sixteen months and I'm not sure how that happened
(21:20):
because I like tried to freeze her because I knew
how fast it goes. She's will be nine, she's nine. Yeah,
but we've known each other ten years. That's what's tricky.
Can you believe that a decade?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And Legend is six six and Lion is sixteen months?
See there's from Lyon to Legend is six years. You
had a big break in between.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
We did have a big break.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Was she a surprise break?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
A couple of breakdowns?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, one more baby.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We did pray for her, we thought we tried for
her for two years. Love prayed every single night, relentlessly
for a baby sister, not just a baby, a baby sister.
And we didn't find out the gender, so I was
a little nervous for Love's reaction if it was a boy.
And I just remember I had this. I've shared it
with you before, but I had this vision when I
was pregnant with Legend. We didn't know if Legend was
(22:09):
a boy or girl either. There was a baby. I
saw the baby. Her name was Lyon, and she had
dark hair and big eyes. And we give birth, I
give birth to legend, We meet legend, and presens like
is this her? Is this the baby? And I was like,
you know, even if he looked like the baby, I
thought maybe I had it wrong. He didn't look at
all like the baby. He looks like a shrunken, angry
(22:31):
version of my dad with Kiwi hair. And I was like,
this is just not anything like that baby. And so
I wondered for a really long time, like why would
I see a baby that isn't mine? What a string?
I did see Sonny, and she is who I saw. Yeah,
Oh she's everything.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I saw her in your dream. She is.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
She is a thousand person. But I knew she wasn't mine. Yeah,
in my dream, I knew she was yours. And she is.
She is one hundred percent what I saw spirit Like
the freedom, it's beautiful, yeah, you know, like the hamster,
like her having seventeen bedrooms, her not using any of them.
(23:12):
It's just so on brand for everything I saw on
that vision. I love it.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Sunny. I've like Suddy's the mom and I'm the child
and I'm trying to be the mom. But I literally
I'm like, okay, say you're in charge like she so
knows how she wants everything to be big virgo energy.
But I love that because I never care how anything is.
That's why, like Michael, whatever he wants to do, I'm
make sure I don't ever have a plan. I just flow.
That's how I flowed into everything. I don't ever know
where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm like, okay,
(23:36):
I'm here. I will be here with my full heart.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I know you will. But that's I think the part
that like when we first met, where I was like,
you're all the things I'm not because I'm going and flowing.
But for a long time there was a lot of luggage.
I was getting the backpacker roll, like getting there, but
do you have room for my pod? Can I park
it in your driveway?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
It leaves exhausting, But you're going.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
And now I feel so much better.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Good for you, light, that's so and mother has been
so good for you. Okay. So I was in the
delivery room with Love. You were, but I really just
trust you the most. I wish I would have watched
Love come out, but I was like, so even though
it's in the delivery room, I was like, I don't
need to look at her vagina when her baby's.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Honestly, until today, I thought you always did look at
my vagina. This is interesting.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Why did I have like embarrassment about that? Because I
was like, I'm not for I was just like I
need to not but all I wanted to do was
see her come out. Obviously, I'm actually sad you didn't
bread I didn't do that, and I regret that you
weren't there for lying because she was your last opportunity
to watch that happen with my body.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Then I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
You maybe did lion C section? No, what do you
mean last? Oh? I thought you said legend.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
No yeah, no, like we're not we're not doing yeah, yeah,
well God will decide, but we are all set. I
feel very complete.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
It's weird when you're when you get that feeling.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Because you didn't have it. No, you're kind of content.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I've always been grateful. Yeah, but I just also was like, gosh,
why would you show me a baby that isn't mine?
You know?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Oh, so you like believed it in your soul.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I knew I was going to meet that person, I
just didn't know when I was going to meet her,
and I thought maybe it is a grand baby. Maybe
that's what one of my grandbabies would look like. But
I know so fully her name was Lion, Like, I
can't tell you how certain I am about that, And
so it is weird that I named a little girl
Lion and she's a Gemini and she's born on six nine,
so on Jesus name. I really hope that she is
(25:20):
just like a really wonderful human being, because she has
the potential to just be a rowdy rocker. I know,
Lion Lockhart love you.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Love a big adventure. I do. I love it.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I do. I'm married and you make it. I do,
and we're living it. Yeah, she is awesome. And when
she came out, I remember, so we didn't find out
she was a boy or girl. She comes out and
in the birth video you just hear me weeping and
you say, I said, I knew it was you. I
knew it was you. She looks just like the baby, like,
(25:55):
I'm going to show you the birth video before I leave.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Come on. So when you saw her face, it was
the face.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
So what's crazy about this is in every ultrasound with
love and listen. I was such a biblical age when
I was pregnant with this last baby, like I was
forty one forty two now, so I had an ultrasound
like every ten minutes, you know, they're just checking extra
on you. And every ultrasound I would say, does this
baby have hair? And they would never be able to
tell me, and I'm like, what what a strange Like
(26:20):
they told me with love eight years ago. Certainly technology
has to be down to like the freckle at this point,
you know. And every time they'd be like, I don't know,
maybe a little, and I'm like that's wild, like okay,
and so then I keep thinking I got a bald baby,
and so who is the baby I saw? You know,
but also just trusting the process growing a baby. I'm
feeling healthy about it. It's great. Anyways, all the ultrasounds,
(26:41):
no one could ever tell me. And we get up
to the room and they check me and they say,
do not move. You are complete, and it's time to push,
and I'm like okay, and so they're you know, how
fast everything starts moving, and I said, can somebody just
tell me? Does the baby have hair?
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Wait? When all this is going on, that's the old
or asking.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
They said, we see the head and I said, does
the baby have hair? And they said so much. It's
dark and it's about an inch long, and I am
til I'm so emotional. I knew. I was like, ah,
this is it, Like I get to meet this person.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
I'm exciting.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Was this this is like it's like you're gonna go
see a movie and then you watch the two detailed trailer,
you know when trailers ruined the movie and they show
you all the good parts. I think that's why, like,
I think that's why God moved all the pieces. And
I never got my answer about the hair. It was like, really,
we prayed about this baby. I gave you this vision
five years ago. You're about to meet the baby, and
you still want the sneak peek, like come on, So
(27:39):
he never I never got it until it was push
time and what she came out and they said, Preston
got to tell me. It's a girl. And I just
wept and the face was exactly what you have. Oh,
I'm telling she has bigger eyes than the rest of them.
She had the thickest dark hair, she had more hair
than the rest of them. And it was a girl.
And I just kept saying, I knew it was you
and you know what's wild, what's even more wild? And
(28:00):
I think no, but she's no, not like I'm not Sonny.
I saw older Sonny running through like Ryan is the
age now where I feel like I just can't even
tell you. I think the really important thing though, in
sharing this story about her is and without going into
like a ton of detail, you know, our industry is
(28:20):
really hard on marriages, really hard on marriages. And Preston
and I had a really like I'm not even sure
cod it. We had a shit year in twenty twenty two.
We had a real what was a shit come to Jesus'
year of like just what are what is tolerated in
our industry is not appropriate and it becomes so commonplace,
(28:44):
but out of our vacuum is really detrimental to marriages totally,
and and so we had to do we did. We
did a couple's intensive in twenty twenty two, and we
just really went through it. In the thick of it,
I'm really proud of us in a way I've never
been proud of us before. I'm really proud of myself
(29:04):
in a way that I've never been proud because I
never thought I could be a person that would be
able to like forgive and see someone like with a
christ like heart like that. And I'm just really super
proud of him, really proud of him. You know, he
grew up in a Church of Christ home and there
was a lot swept under the rug too, and a
(29:25):
lot of avoidance. Like his mom still says she doesn't
do conflict, which I'm not sure how one goes through
life without any conflict, but like blessed yayah. And so
he had to have some like deep ownership of some
things and we had to have some really really hard talks.
But I only share that because if I had not
known forgiveness, I don't know the baby God promised me.
(29:49):
And that's really critical to me because that person was
on the other side of the deepest, realist, most marriage
in the shit storm together forgiveness, yes, And if I
don't know forgiveness, I never get the grand prize. And
that like she is, how could I ever live without her?
(30:11):
Like knowing her now, She's just so special and she's
what our whole family needs. Legend needs to feel wildly
important and she does that for him, you know, and
love needed to have a sister. I always wanted a sister,
That's probably why I'm too emotionally attached to you unhealthy
ways sometimes. But like it's so cool that these like
little grand prizes are hidden on the other side of
(30:34):
like really hard human things, had had hard work, hard work.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Oh and forgiveness, because sometimes you're like people, it's so
easy to be like I just I can forget and
move on, but I just will never be able to forgive.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, you know, but like honestly, don't get it twisted,
because my Detroit self will not forget anything but the
forgiving I'm working on. But like make note, make no mistake,
there's notes made, but we're just trying to you know.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
But it's also realizing that like like we all need
things forgiven, you know, everything, Like because as soon as
I feel like because I've had a few things that
I felt like were kind of done wrong to me
this past year, like where I felt like slided by
someone that I loved and I felt like, oh my god, wow,
I can't believe you could do that. But then I
catch myself doing something else to someone else that I
(31:23):
didn't even realize I was doing because I'm a flawed
human as well, and I'm like man, people just like
make mistakes all the time. Humanness is tricky, humanness is
so hard, and everyone is making a mistake. And I
think that if you are able to come and truly
ask for forgiveness and do the work to change, then
like why not. That's why people love jelly Roll. Look
at his story, you know, it's like his name.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I told Prestony yesterday. I was like, can you just like,
I mean, what a fun name, jelly Roll, but just
his real name.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Uh, Jason. Maybe I think they'll think of it though,
because it's like, what if people have counted him out
back in the day for all the crimes that like
are so publicly that he's so publicly committed, you know.
And it's like, but now we wouldn't have this person
speaking this healing over the nation, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So I'm like sitting in Congress and yeah, he's incredible.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Cancel culture not giving people a second chance. The person
has to own up and change, yes, but like to
just cancel someone out and throw them away because they
did something that you consider unforgivable, well look at yourself too,
you know. And I'm not justifying all bad behavior at
any means.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
And I'm also not saying like we were in some
TMZ worthy tragedy, Like you know, we've got you and
I both have lots of mutual friends that have had
like really dark pieces of their marriage, and like and I,
this is not like it's know what you know about
the person that you married and try to figure out
what's best for you.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
The true use is like a total difference.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It's just never like that.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
It's just like working through personality flaws.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah that maybe had gotten deep rooted.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You are such a good friend to us, but yeah,
personality flaws for sure. Yea, yeah, I just I yeah,
I just also saw my husband really have like a
deep realization. That matters too. If I had been with
someone who was defending their behavior or gaslighting me or whatever,
you know, I think that's a different story. But just
(33:10):
to see the humiliation and like the deep hurt and
that just is a different version of him, And honestly
it's the hottest thing to me, Like, listen, this person
has been my person since the minute I freaking met Yeah,
I got.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Buried in a whirlwind.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
I was like, remember I told you I was gonna
hand out complimentary and neck braces for how fast everything moved.
At first, it was just like, way, how did it
move so fast? So fast? And I mean that was
part of even like our couples. Intensive was us going
like I remember sitting, I mean I was pregnant with
his baby and going like okay, so like I love
your soul and but do you like asparagus? Like there
(33:46):
was so many like open ended questions. I just didn't.
But it's weird when you're connected in that way. I
mean we all risky business though, real risky, real risky,
crazy risky.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
All marriage is risky, but that's extra risky because you
really don't know a lot about the person you're really
trusting an instant weird.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
And I didn't even really like super I like, don't
trust dudes. Anyways, you just went hard? Why did I?
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I don't know. I'm so glad it's all worked out.
You've been on the journey man, me too. But I
remember thinking to myself, oh shit, yeah, this is going
fast wild I know, but freak. I mean, I went
on the journey you're supposed to go on.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I was so allergic to the gender after that last
post it like breakup that I was like, no way,
I'll just adopt a baby on my own. I'm gonna
have this big career, forget it. And then next thing
you know, I'm texting and talking till four in the morning,
and I'm like a little school girl and I'm like, yeah, totally,
I'll move in with you. Why am I?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
No? We're all married in like four months, I lost.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
All my sense. No, we were pregnant and like five yeah,
oh and no you got married after uh huh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Love was definitely at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Was she ever twenty five weeks?
Speaker 1 (34:55):
I just don't you do twenty five weeks pregnant when
you got married. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We were just trying to pick a weekend we both
weren't on the road, and I ended up being labor
dy the irony, labor day, iron the irony. Anyways, I'm
not condoning doing it in that way. We are reverse
dating now. We do a lot of like overnights. We're
trying to do more like away trips together.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
You know, we've done a great job.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
We're we've done a really honest.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Job, which is as great as you can do. That's
the most we can do.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
It hasn't always been honest, but the work we're putting
in is like like, oh, well, yeah, if we would
have had it our way, maybe we wouldn't have Like,
if we would have done it maybe the ways of
the world. We could have done this slower and avoided
a couple of things.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
But but you learned it all pays off.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
And now look now look three healthy, beautiful babies. I'm tired.
I'm getting ambushed by my own uterus. I mean, life
is great and very cool. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
That is happening to all of us.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Yeah, it's weird, and we can be in this phase
for up to ten years, a whole decade.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
It's always something surprise, parties.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Wild, and it doesn't just come in sneaky anymore with
the tap tap it's like a good yeah, it's like
a very seventh grade math class feeling like I'm like,
oh shit, like you know, like you just panic. It
doesn't feel fair.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Doesn't come in your tap chap.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
It does not with a little hey girl, is this occupied?
It's not like that. It's like very aggressive. Yeah, but
again a healthy body. Nonetheless, and here we.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Are, here we are, and I think about this body.
I'm like, thank you body, You've been through so much
for me.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
And how hard I've been on this body for so.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Long the past, like the past decade, I've been pretty
good at like switching the narrative of loving that body,
well at least the past five years. Yeah, I mean
this body has some good things for us.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I mean, we were in a boonze farm season, we've
been in a hydroxy cut season. We have been this
wild ride. Yeah, I know it's really intense, but I'm
really proud of us.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
You're gonna say something it's wild about your kids, and
then I totally sidetracked you. And I'm trying not to
sidetract people anymore because then they forget what they were
gonna say.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Well, moms sidetracked themselves. I mean, don't you think I
have your idea? I don't remember why I'm walking into
a room half the time.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Or well, you're walking in looking freaking hot.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
That's today shampooed.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Talk about that.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
There's a psa that everyone should take the everything shower today.
This is your sign to do your everything shower.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
How many versions of a mom busy woman shower or
are there? What would you think they're the what do
you think of the main versions?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Well, the bare minimum, right is like the no hair wash.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Just I never washed my hair once a week.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Well, listen, so I when it was not my natural color,
I could do that, and now that it's more my
natural color, I have to wash like how often, like
twice or three times a week. It's don't do it.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I would never.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Yeah, you shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I'll go past a week until my hair is like
literally like I'll move my hand and it stays in
the position. This is beyond disgusting.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
But I'm a Plato person. I guess I'll just wash
my hair.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I'll go to hot yoga like twice a week and
not wash my hair.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Listen, I'm sorry, judge me everyone. I would the second
snatch is like a thing. What the sleek and snatched
look is like a thing.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
So that's not what I'm doing with it.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Listen, you put that in a low bon and everyone's
going to think it was on purpose. I almost guarantee
it almost. Well, I can't guarantee you life is great.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
So how many how many showers are there? What are
the versions?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Well, you know, there's like I'm just here to like
I like it like a continual baptize. There's the crying shower, right,
the continual baptism shower. What is that where you just
go in and weep yeah, yeah, yeah, and then there's
the soap and go right, and then.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
You shave on the soap and go. I'll know you.
I see every time I'm in a shower, I have
to shave my legs. That's where I'm saving my time.
It is the shaving, the hairy legs driving nuts. It should.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I think you're a really good person and a good
wife for that commitment.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It's really only about myself. I don't like the way
my legs feel.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
I shave today, so I feel really good about that.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah. Yeah, so quick, just soap it off out. You
can do that in literally one minute.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah. I mean usually my husband's like are you done?
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Where we gonna watch TV? It's like okay, you know,
then there's whatever. Then there's like the actual So the
everything shower for me is like the shave. I put
a little face mask. I do like the shampoo left
your feet. Oh I do.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Difference too, and I don't buffalo like man, these cracks
are deep in my heels.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
So what is wrong with me? I know, Sonny will
put it's a very Britney twenty like two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Is this?
Speaker 2 (39:25):
This is like their foot in a gas station kind
of feel.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
The how long these feet have been walking? Oh, and
all the things they've walked over. So I mean there's gonna.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Be some crash and we get a soul refresh and
Jesus on my feet. Yes, soul, that's all. Yeah. I
just the everything shower, you know, once in a while
there's a good soaking prayer bathtub. But oh those are
the days. No, no, yeah, Usually by the end of
the day, I'm just like, is it do? What do
I need? And it's usually just bed. I've been in
(39:55):
the slippery slope of late night snacking. What are you
snacking on? White judar, popcorn and root beer? Ollipop?
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I do not like Ollipop.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Have you tried the root beer?
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I don't like any of them.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
You don't like the root beer?
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Well, I haven't tried it. It's not gonna change my
mind though. It's all the other ones I have not liked.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
I don't like the other ones either. Oh, tricky, tricky,
welcome to my slipper. Good for ollipop, And I don't
even like soda. So the fact that Ollipop root beer
has got a hold on me is really something? It's
really something. Yeah, and that most of the time I
just want to I think it's because I wouldn't do
uninterrupted food.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Are you eating? Are you watching something? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Nobody wants this and nobody wants this A city and repeat,
you know, eat, pray, love. When the mood feels deeper.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Are you feeling though, I feel like you're feeling pretty balanced,
Like I feel so good.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
So what I'm nervous of is the other day I thought,
is something wrong with.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
Me because you're feeling so good?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Because I think this is what not relaxed, but I
think less anxious feels like nervous system. WHOA, I don't know.
I don't want to drink it.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Your nervous system is finally after all this work and
time was calming down.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, good job, really been through it. But you've done
what my husband feels like sometimes. Yeah, system mornings. I
bet this is what my husband feels like in the
morning when he's not jumping out of bed to make
lunches or anything good.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
He's jumping out of bed to make lunches.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
No he's not, I am Oh, he's cozy, he's a
little den good for him. He creats a little habitat
for himself. What else say?
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'm proud of you so great?
Speaker 2 (41:31):
What are you happy about?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
What are you excited about? What are you I.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Wrote a kid's book. I've not told anybody this.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Can we announce it? Oh? Wait, hit the window?
Speaker 2 (41:40):
It's a sign?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
What is that a sign? I don't know something just
hit the window right when you said that. I think
that's a sign that some go open the door, open
the door. Okay, Okay, God, I got nervous that. I
was like, no, it's saying I'm knocking open the what's.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
A dead bird? Omen That made me feel nervous.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
No, I think I'm gonna go I'm knock going to
open the door.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Okay. So this is like I've not talked to anyone
about this.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I kind of for a minute forgot. We were like
recording and I was like catching up with you, and
I kind of like feel nervous, but I'm gonna say it, sure, right,
I think? So Okay. So Preston's mom and I during
COVID kind of co wrote this kid's book and it's
called Don't Take a Yaya Outside.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Because her name uh huh. It's based on a true
story of ya ya. Why don't we take it? Why
don't we take outside?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Because her teeny tiny ponytail can get tangled in a
tree and it is. I think it's quite precious. And
if nothing else, Preston's mom has dreamed her entire life
of being a published author.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
So have you. I have. So that's a good combination, right,
made me emotional. You've always said, as long as I've
known you, you said you're going to write a book and
publish it. You've been talking with that for a decade.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I know, And it's very Enneagram two of me to
like make it be my mission to like also get hurt,
like you know, like of course I'll go do it,
but it'll be for both of us.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Right, So yeah, maybe that's just what you needed to get. Yeah,
the book party started.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I have a dream of her reading this book because
she's a really exceptional reader, Like she's animated. Oh she's
a creature. You know you've met her, watched her float
around in her own little orbit. But she is so
special And I feel, like Preston used to say, when
she was mystery reader for his class or guest reader
for his class, it was the best that she was
the best. Like he was very proud that that was
(43:24):
his mom. So I want her to like read to
like a sea of kids at like Parnassis bookstore and
like even a big box. I know everyone's got their feelings,
but like I'd love to watch her just get a
crowd at Barnes and Noble and like feel important and
valued and smart.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I think that would be so cool to watch just
be in her element.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, So we wrote this book together and I tweaked
it a bit, just in the way that like I
need I am. I have a little kids, so I
know what's entertaining, what's not right now, you know. But yeah,
Yah's kind of stuck in being a little kid herself.
So she's pretty talented. But it's cute. Don't take a
gay outside and this is why is how it starts.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Yeah, and it's all the illustration's been done. Who's really pretty,
my friend Britt, who is exceptional. What I love the
most is that it's just two moms in a neighborhood
that did this. I called her and I said, there's
just no one this is a good sign. There's just
no one that I could think that would just do
a better job of like the detail that is needed
(44:20):
for this. And she was like, I'm in so.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
It was easy, it flowed, it did it's great.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
So I hope to get a literary agent and have
it pitched and hopefully it makes us splash and yah
Ya gets to go be interviewed and like, I don't know,
I just want her to, like, I want this for
her so badly.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
You want this little life forced to take off. You
can see the little world that this book could create.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
I just it's her world. And I wish everybody did
have a yah Ya, And I wish that every woman
who has a mother in law that maybe isn't the
most helpful, I can get some redemption.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Am I writing a book about it?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
But I just feel like it's really beautiful. I hope
it's simple. It sings songy and it's and I just
feel like it's gonna I hope it is something.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
I just love that you always have a creative, creating spirit.
Oh oh, I have to you are always creating something.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
I mean, I live in a Satura night Live skit.
You know my world is that. Look at the characters
I have in my house. It's wild. It's a wild
wild ride, so we have to start like sharing it.
I hope that every kid gets to sit with like
a yah yah and just you know, she magic carpet
rides around my house and she's crazy and I love
(45:31):
her and she's five pounds soaking wet and she is
just feistier. She gets older and super weirdly into murder shows,
and so I sometimes wonder that it's fine. Maybe that's
where all her conflict goes. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Some people find it very relaxing to watch murder shows. Yeah,
not I either.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
The exposed nerve for the world. I do not need that.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
No, thank you, I know I hate it all.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
If we need more worry, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
I know? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
So there's the book and podcast and that's it. Christ
Breast Yeah, Kristen we Brust.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
I love that. I know.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Should I change it or you like it?
Speaker 1 (46:06):
It's great.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I really only named it in Kristin Weebrust so that
people would understand how to pronounce our last name because
I felt so bad that my husbands had to deal
with the brust and the burst of his whole life.
And so I thought, well, we'll just make it so
obvious and I'll make a name for us.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
We'll get there. Yeah, you're also on Wine Down yep.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
But it's also an iHeart podcast, so that's great. We've
had great interviews. He's been your favorite. Matthew McConaughey, did.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
You tell me you loved him?
Speaker 2 (46:33):
I didn't, Okay, I didn't because it's like having your
really extra rad older brother home from college. I think,
as we're getting older.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Who wants to be with anyone else anyway?
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, and like you're just somebody's really awesome husband and dad,
And like I don't feel like that anymore towards you, totally.
I just really respect his introspection. I think it is
just I think introspection is hot.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
I think that's why my husband got hotter after twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yes, introspection is the hottest. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Like I don't want the surface guy, No, I want
the guy that has the depth. Yeah. And I don't
want the guy that has the depth and the point
where he's like over analyzing. Why am I scrambling eggs?
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Then you can't live life exhaust myself. It's a perfect balance.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Yeah, it's great. I just need someone that can just
check in.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
I'm so proud of you. I love me pro so much.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
I just love Thank you for having me, thank you
for coming on. I'm really proud of us for making
a podcast where I didn't literally sit on your lap
close though. I think it's worth noting that producer Morgan
tried to move us apart and we would not concede
to direction. I mean, opposite ends the couch. Not for
me and my egg.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Not gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
No, no, no, We're just a couple of shells.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
You know. I don't know if I'll ever be able
to make we You were maybe one of my last
best friends that I ever made, egg, you know, because
like I don't have time for best friends anymore. I
don't even know how to make a best friend anymore.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
I know how to make Like the criteria's definitely changed too.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
Yeah. Yeah, Like what we met, it was like we
were in the middle of our big adventure and we're
in a new adventure.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
But what are these stories we know about child?
Speaker 1 (48:11):
We were like in the middle of something that does
not exist anymore. It's gone, which is so wild that time.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
I don't we even knew what we were in the
middle of.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
And it's over and we're the only ones that know
that it was there, because like, it was just a
little world and now it's just done.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
What a fun little world.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
We just really had a good time. Can I tell
a story about when you guys put me in hooker
boots after I was gave birth to my child?
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Oh my god, I see, I did not know probably
what you needed back there. I don't think if that
was it, I don't.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
I've enough of the story that most people would already
agree to.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
See. I was trying to get you back out on
the town. I'm like, listen, we need to go out.
You need to feel sexy.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
You were so proud of how hot I was. You
were like, what is this is what you look like
eleven days after birth?
Speaker 1 (48:53):
I would do this differently now, I know you.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
What Andrea actually texted me and said, I when she
got pregnant, was like, I am want to just deeply apologize.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
The baby's not.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Even out yet, and I want you to know I would.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Never do that again.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
It wasn't abuse, though it was.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
It was believed in your hotness so much, but you really.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
Did you have to be hot. Oh So I would
like to share this story with your permission on your
podcast that it happened. I mean, and I'd like to
share as a precursor that I would do things differently now.
I just think it's funny because I think it's like,
good for people that are listening that don't have kids yet,
that probably like, what does my friend need postpartum?
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Not hooker boots?
Speaker 2 (49:30):
And when I try to do a tho, good, oh,
You're like, you look so hot, bend over. We're gonna
send this to Preston. And I was like, what, I
didn't even I wouldn't even with me. I didn't even
know if like anatomically, is that the word I'm looking
for I should put on a thong. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
I just I must have. I was so in a
different world. Oh my god, I cannot.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Well no, but I'm not I'm offending this. I will
defend this by saying you just were so convinced it
how hot I was. But I was like, okay, actually okay,
because I had a baby and my husband had the
biggest year of his life and career. He was gone
two hundred and fifty days that year, wild wild times. Right,
(50:21):
So when you come over and you're like, this is
what eleven days after giving birth looks like we are
putting I mean, Andrew, I mean the girls went into action.
These boots over the knee boots were being pulled out
of a trunk of a car. They weren't even my size.
I'm ASIG seven and a half. These were a nine
to nine and a half minimum. It doesn't matter. I
was told, because we're not going to concentrate on the feet.
(50:42):
Is a quote that I will always remember. Said that,
not you, We're not getting concentrated. Bend over. That's great,
bend over just like that. That's great. And they're like,
can you we need a thong. We need a thong.
And I was like, I don't know if I am
I allowed to?
Speaker 1 (50:56):
This feels like an alternate universe.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Well it was, That's what I'm saying. You're like at
times that we don't even exist anymore. And I'm like,
right now, we're like bringing each other like cast Jony.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Like a cozy blanket and soup and some banana nut bread.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Do you have that?
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Let's go get something. I owe it to.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
For the boots.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
Like you believe that?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Hysterical though, like kick me out right then and there, No,
because I also was just I was the first of
our friends to have a baby.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
But maybe this is what we do.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
I just I just, honestly, I will say this and
I fullheard like you know me, I'm really I too
am truthful to a fault, like it never felt to
me like anything other than just like I think I
actually needed to feel hot because I love. I mean,
think of how much of yourself you lose when you
first become a mother. It's a really self wild ride.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
I don't know if eleven days postpartums the time to
quite did that.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Well, I'll tell you might have saved a marriage. You
never know in hindsight, because I sent that picture off
to my husband on the road and he was just happy,
feeling so proud. So maybe you were onto something. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
God, I would be like why if hale, No, don't
I would if you're not coming over with the blanket
and zoo get out.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Now I didn't for the emotional wreckage that happens, not
just your body emotionally, I was wrecked for over a year.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Oh minimum, I mean minimum minimum, like I did. Kaylee
Dickerson's podcast Six Weeks Postpartum with this baby, and I
had to like be prayerful like I, because you don't
you're not in your right mind, and you sometimes have
glimpses of thinking you're in your right mind, which can
be dangerous. No, and then I'm like, but I say
too much? Do I say too little? You know? Am
(52:34):
I even interesting?
Speaker 1 (52:36):
Nothing?
Speaker 2 (52:37):
It's mean even today, I'm like, am I interesting? I
don't know, but at least curl up with you.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
We can ask Morgan, how has this been?
Speaker 2 (52:44):
Morgan was kind of checked out until the hooker Booth's comment,
I think she's back.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
Can you believe that? Can you believe that? I was
so out of touch? Like for real?
Speaker 2 (52:55):
But this isn't mean well making sure, this isn't to like,
it's just hysteric because now I think about like now
we have such deep knowing of what everyone needs. I like,
I didn't know what I needed, But.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
It wasn't that I'm gonna tell you what I.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
Was A mean, A volunteered. I was like, sure, I mean, it's.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
How funny though it is because literally after having a baby,
I have now gained a whole new perspective of life
and awareness that like post Sonny, I feel like I
was absolutely an insane person for real, Like I don't,
I honestly don't feel like I even knew.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
I don't feel like you were insane. No, listen, the
amount of hormones rushing through one's body and our industry,
I mean, it's we do need to give ourselves like
the biggest blanket of grace because it's it's wild. It
is not it's not normal. There's no normality in postpartum
(53:54):
to begin with. And then you know you've got people
walking carpets. Ten days later, you've got I mean, I
hit a baby on the CMA carpet, like a real baby,
my baby mine girl. I don't announced, and I wouldn't announce, yeah,
because you know I had the loss. So I'm very careful.
We don't announce until we just absolutely have to. And
I pulled Krista Rosier aside and said, I need to
(54:18):
tell you something. And we didn't even tell the other
half of our duo yet. I was like, I just
need you to help me camouflage the massive amount of
what looks like an intense bloat because I was almost
ten weeks pregnant on the carpet, and with the third
it was just oh, it popped out so fast, so
she just beated me up. If you look back at
that red carpet, look, it was just a ton of
beats of like a chandlier around my waist. It was stunning,
(54:38):
it was perfect. She made the top look tiny, the
bottom you wou'd even pay attention to. And I smuggled
that little lying girl through that carpet and dealt with
all the drunk monkey after party people. And then the
next morning, at eight am, I was just two streets
over getting an ultrasound to get a heartbeat and make
sure everything was good. Wildlife. We wouldn't, but that's what
I'm saying, Like, we don't know, what do we know?
(55:01):
We don't know. So it's a PSA today. If you
feel like putting on the thong and ugger boots, do it.
If you feel like maybe you'd just rather have banana bread,
tell them, yeah, I didn't know I want a banana
bread at the time. I just wanted friendship, and you
served it. You did. It's like, whoa, let's go, bro,
You're like, you look hot. We need to do the
Andrea was all in. I mean, who else was Amanda
(55:21):
with us?
Speaker 1 (55:21):
I wouldn't put on a pair of hooker boots to
save my life right now? Yeah, I mean, well you
kind of you kind of look you kind of look
great today.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Well, these are just a cow boy bootish you're you're
serving well, I'm camouflaging what bloat? By the ambushing uterus? Yeah, nothing,
by the pairs occupying. Yeah, the periwinkle is ambushed and
we are here, And I thought, you know, what will
do me good to feel like a person today? I'll
curl my hair, but on a little makeup and I'll try.
(55:50):
I'll try.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
You're so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
I was wrap up with leave your light. What do
you want people to know?
Speaker 2 (55:59):
I want you to know that some of the best
times in your life haven't even happened yet. And I
think we live in a very noisy world that wants
to distract you from facts. And the fact is you
have not even met some of the people that will
make you the happiest, that you'll laugh the hardest with.
And you haven't even had some of the best times
(56:19):
of your life yet. And it's a big fun scavenger
hunt out there if you let it be, to go
find some things. If you don't get down some good times.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
If you don't like the bag or rules you're carrying
around with, Analyze it, figure out where those rules came from,
and cut the bag.
Speaker 2 (56:35):
Cut the bag, leave the bag, leave the bag. I
did sort the bag.
Speaker 1 (56:39):
Sort the bag, look at it. You need to check
it out.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
Checked it out. It's probably helpful, but not much, not
much of any of it. Actually anything the bag is
anything I would even carry No.
Speaker 1 (56:48):
Get it and then get a fresh bag and filled
with what you want instead of what you just inherited
from who knows where.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
I want to fill it with spog gift cards and
banana nu Brad, you've really set me like, that's right.
Speaker 1 (56:58):
The hooker boots in the past.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
We could leave your light today, what would it be?
Leave the hooker boots in the trunk and what else
you know?
Speaker 1 (57:07):
I think it always is my same advice. I always
come back to listen to your intuition. Just listen to
it when you're in.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
Just such a knowing, don't we and when you get.
Speaker 1 (57:17):
Any signal from it. Listen to it when you feel
nervous energy, like you don't feel you're where you're supposed
to be. Listen to it when you feel like things
are going well and easy and smooth. Listen to it.
When you feel like you're hitting resistance and it doesn't
feel like you're on the right road, listen to it.
Like when you meet someone, trust your instincts with them,
Like you know, I just feel like we will be
guided if we can just listen. It's interesting that whole
(57:38):
this whole podcast season that I'm doing right now is
called Homecoming, and it is about coming home to yourself
and just about deeply knowing yourself and taking the time
to learn yourself.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
Listen. There's a lot of things that, like, by forty
two almost forty three, are just a part of me.
And then there's a lot of things that I'm like,
but that doesn't have to be a part of me,
and I don't want to do it that way anymore.
And you get to just decide. It's not always that easy,
but you can make the decision pretty easily. But like
we never get to like really honor our discernment. And
it's literally the hard wiring God gives us to keep
(58:10):
us protected. I love it. It's a big life.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
And Christen and we breast.
Speaker 2 (58:15):
I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
It's all in the details.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
Banana not bread time, cozy blankets, that's time. Goodbye, I
love you, good Night, I love you.
Adam. Carol Lone, she's a queen of talking to you
a song. You know, she's getting really not afraid to
feel its episode, so just let it flow. No one
(00:24):
can do be quiet. Carl Lone is sound for Caroline.
I'm really glad you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I love you. It's like the easiest thing. I get
excited this. I'm like a rainy champ on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I feel how many times you this is Kristen Breast.
Everyone welcome to get real quick. Kristine Breast. I'm not
a singer, but you have worked with a lot of singers.
You are married to singer. You are surrounded by singers,
which you know what I wonder about this.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I met you because I love singers, Yeah, artists.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Tell me about the day you met me.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Oh, I wanted to a glorious day. It was a
good day. You were so pretty. I thought you might
be mean.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
You thought that would be mean.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I remember the minute I saw you. Oh, I was like,
this person is stunning. I still feel that way every
time I see you. I really need to feel worn down.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
But I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
We think we all are tired, but yet here we
are still we rise. I remember so I worked for
Michael's record label. That's what it's called. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Michael's on a thousand horses yep.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And they were my first band, the baby band that
my label had signed, and I got flown in before
I was officially working to the indie five hundred of
the Fun show to the Infield. Yeah, and I walked
on their bus and there you were you.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Like it was like love at first sight, Like, I mean,
it came to me immediately.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I don't remember what. I don't remember a lot of
things anymore, but I really remember the minute I met you.
I do to It's magnetic, isn't it. You're so special
to you. Well, yeah, and a lot of people or
you wouldn't have a podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But to you though, We've always really connected.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, you're just my person.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You're like, really, you're calling me Egg?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I did, And that's tricky, you know, it's tricky because
it was like, how do I call you Caroline? It's
like hard for me, I know, why do you call
me Egg? Because I'm convinced that we were once the
same Egg split? We split, and we lived separate lives
for far too long, and then we found each other.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Tell me why you think we match.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I think you're like the twin I never had, in
the way that you're all the things I always wished
I could be.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
What in the world are you talking about? Like you
have no you know that more than that.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
That's what we match. That's the part we match. There's
a lot of parts that like we match on. And
then there's this like real beautiful, crazy energy that you
have and this like dream big, go for it. I
think you do so well, and I think that I
sometimes get stuck at like the PowerPoint phase of like
(03:15):
laminating the binder sheets and you just keeping.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
But you are so good and making sure all the
details are perfect, and I'm terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
This is why a split egg.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I hate details. I don't even know how to cook
because I hate reading cookbook instructions. You can follow the details.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
And when you say you hate details, part of my
spine hurts. It hurts my feelings because the details are
like everything, Oh, it's everything everything. Why, that's just where
you do all of life. That's where the inside of
minutes come from.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I like the experience, but like I don't like thinking
about the details.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So because I married one of you, I like to
free flow.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I want to walk in and I want it to
flow and I just want to like ride the wave
with it. But I don't even think the details. I
just want to be in the water with it. But
you appreciate the details, oh my god, so much people
do the details like you. I'm like, how do you
do that? And it makes my spine hurt because I
wish that I knew how to do that. I love
you and I appreciate it so much, and it's so
(04:15):
much love. It's it's such an act.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Of love, so much love. Yeah, I don't, I would say. Now,
I'm like less. Do you remember when you met me
in my big bag of rules? We can pennant tablet,
never come back to it if you don't want.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
To talk about that.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
But I used to be stuck in the detail, I
feel like, or stuck in the plan, I should say.
And I feel like marrying an artist has really freed
me from that.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
You're married to Preston from Low Cash.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I am half of low Cash and he's a free flow. Yeah,
he's a hustler. He's the hardest working dude I've ever
met in my life.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Tell me about low cat Cash has worked harder than
any man they got going forever, and they're so good,
and they keep reinventing themselves and they keep evolving, and
I'm like, freaking low Cash man, I know it's not
I ever count them out.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You can't.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
You can't. They will not leave, so you can't.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
They're they've never been out.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
They're never If you don't ever leave, you're never out there.
And they're never leaving and they're never out.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
And I think now we've established I'm like, we have,
We just established it now so that we can just
kind of like safely dis count ourselves always in.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You're always in. I love that about Low Cash.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Though, I mean hustlers. And for a while I was
afraid to say, like, oh, they're the hardest working you know, duo.
And now I'm like, actually, I think it's clear, Like
come at me, bro, I don't think anyone can compete.
No one can.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
No, they've out, they've outrun the race on everyone. They're
so but they're I'm telling you, I think they're better
than they've ever been.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I do too.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I'm glad you said that. I really feel that.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah. I think there's a comfortability and an honesty that
comes with their age and just how many years they've
been doing it now, and you know what, you got
it my better.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
This is honestly, Michael and I talk about this because
now we've all been here for such a long time.
If you hang in here this long, it's because A
you're really made for it, and B you actually have
something to offer, because if you're not really good, you're
gonna run out. You can't fake it for that long. No,
you cannot fake it for this long. Like you actually
have to be like.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All the humans have been born and are of drinking
age since they started this.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Wild. It's wild times. No side hobby, Yeah, no, it's not.
This is a Caroline hobby. Though I love you. What
else do you want to talk about? You're in my
delivery room. You want to talk about that?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I do what I want to talk about? Your big
bag of rules?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh? I did have a big bag of rules. Okay,
So as the story goes, you Okay, So you met
me actually ironically at like the darkest time in my life.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I was coming out of a divorce.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Okay, and we had talked about a podcast that you
just put out. Yeah, one more minute, is that all
the same time period.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, that's all the same period.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Can will you go into it in your own way?
I can weave it, weave it. Yeah, so you met me.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I take this big job with big machine, and they're like, listen,
you're going to travel a ton. You'll probably never be home. Hindsight,
if you're so comfortable being away from your huse than
that much and more leaning towards the excited part of
the mary, Yeah, like that might be a sign. So
if you're in a relationship and you're hearing this and
you're excited to not be with your husband, that is
a red flag. Anyways. So I take the job.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
So having subspace for your husband, it's great, it's great.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Missing him is the fun part. Yeah, that's where you're like,
that's a green flag, right, Yeah I was missing You're
like Douce stoked. Yeah, to be.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Pretty stoked out of his breathing room. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Fine, person, just not my person, you know. Anyway. So
I take the job and I meet you, and life
is great because I have you and I'm traveling a ton.
And then I just would realize every time I was
home there was this really sad, deep sadness that I
had because I was like alone with myself.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
What happened when you're alone with yourself?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Nothing good? And it was great. The job was so
great at keeping me so busy. You know, record labels
in Nashville are relentless. They make sure that you don't
even really have time to eat or drink, party atmosphere
all over the place. You're just living your You're just gone,
and in those spare minutes that you're sitting, you are
already behind in your email, so like there's no time
(08:11):
to really think about your personal life. So I do
think looking back, probably, yeah, looking back, I think God
like really moved a lot of pieces and was like
this is where we'll be to keep us moving. But
then there would be these really long Texas drives.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
This will get you in Texas, man, Texas does it.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
The tears in Texas totally mackerel.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
She's a heartbreak song, she She's a healing Texas is beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I loves Texas. Might be the only state big enough
to hold all the emotions I had at the time,
to be honest. So yeah, it just was really low.
I remember just getting to the freeze. So there's a
freeze in Nashville for anybody that's not the music business.
Like right around like December ish, everyone freezes and and
so your job becomes less and then you're alone with
yourself more with less to do.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
It is holiday season, holidays, sad, really sad if through
a heartbreak, and I was really going in through a heartbreak.
So every the noise shut down. It was holiday season,
it was cold, and you were alone with your sadness.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, I lived in Kansas City at the time and
worked remotely for the label. Because I was just traveling
in about Kansas City was part of my territory. It
made sense, and yeah, I just was alone. I remember,
so I just put out this podcast. I had this.
I got very very low and to the point where
I did want to take my own life. And I
remember I was in a tool skirt and I was
(09:34):
in like holiday cute, a really great outfit for.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
What it's worth, very fashionable.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, I just love that part of life, like stiling's
fun to me. And I remember just being in this
really cute outfit. I remember taking forever to get ready,
Like I just remember feeling like I was moving through
like drying cement, and everything felt like I lifted one
thousand pounds, and I just it was so heavy and
I was at an all time low weight, which is
(09:59):
all so ironic. So it just felt like everything was
very hard, just like impossibly hard. Getting ready for that
party felt hard. It felt dark. I felt like I
didn't want to go, and I just remember thinking like,
no one is coming from me. It's really sad. That
actually makes me emotional hard times.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So what did you do?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I don't, It just was I remember thinking of ways
that I just wanted out. I felt shameful that a
marriage was ending. I hated that we will get to
the back of rules because I remember where we're headed.
I promise I just take the back rows. I never
take the expressway in stories, so what's wrong with me?
They do? So yeah, I just I just I just
(10:49):
felt really deeply lonely and shameful, and I hated no
one gets married, I think to get divorced, you know.
And it felt like even he didn't want to tuck
it in in a like really beautiful Nicholas Sparks way
that I had envisioned where we would go to this
like mutual loving dinner and you know, have a glass
of wine and looking into each other's eyes. And thank
each other for the experience, like they never got that
(11:11):
wonderful growth. Yeah, that's very mature. Does anyone get that?
I don't know. I mean I hope so they do.
And nobody wants this.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Well, that's the most advanced, uh evolved couple that's ever
walked the face of the earth. And they're actually a
TV couple.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, and they're inspiring others to do the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It's great, Honestly, it's so good to see the romance.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, I would love that, but I didn't get that.
And in fact, I got a text saying he wanted
a divorce.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So he wanted it not you.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Well, we had split and I kind of thought, maybe
we'll just get like minutes and we'll come back together.
That's my deep actually thought. I thought that would happen.
And no, I got a text message. It's like the
Carry Bradshaw equivalent getting broken up with them and post it,
you know, And it just was dark and it sucked
and I hated it, and I remember just thinking, I
just want out of this. There's nothing like what am
(11:58):
I working for?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
You know, you probably see any future at that point.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
No, my parents weren't coming. No, what I just you know,
everyone's busy in their own lives. That's the weird part
about that job, too, is you pop into lives that
are always going. You're just a character in a story
that pops in and out. And it was such a
surreal experience to just like always be popping into like
people's kids volleyball games, and you know, they're having family
(12:22):
dinner and taco Tuesday and you're and I didn't have
any of that. What a wild season, you know. Anyways,
So I scraped myself in a toolskirt off the floor
and I remember the floor. Oh, I was on the
I just laid on the floor in the middle of
my pretty room. My pretty tool skirt is so helpless,
(12:44):
and I just thought, I just don't want to do
this anymore. And I kept thinking, no one would even
suspect this feeling because I was so good.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
If my childhood taught me nothing else, it was that
you just go with the narrative, right, So the narrative
was make it look shiny, make it look good, sweep
it under the rug, and keep going. But no one
would have known how dark it was, I think. So
I eventually did.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
You're talking about this? I know it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's really not easy.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
But it's also just honest.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Now, I well, you know, a National Mental Health Day
was a week ago, and I think, I think now
there's just like this epidemic of like people not getting
truthful information down to the people whose stories were watching.
(13:39):
I think we don't talk about like the messy, hard
shit enough. I just don't. I don't want everyone to
log on and see me weeping in a corner. That's
not my goal. I just think, like you wouldn't probably
look at a lot of the people that were all
always around and think, man, I bet at one time
she was so low. You know. It's kind of like, oh,
(14:01):
life is a gift, and we just keep moving and
we have these incredible experiences and beautiful lives and we
do I mean, I get to go to Whole Foods
and buy my groceries. Hashtag blessed, you know. But I
think it is not completely honest, and I think that
the world is probably craving more of a deeper connection
and more honesty about people than ever. And I just thought,
(14:24):
I just want people to know they're not alone. That's
always it for me, Since the beginning of time, I
felt alone. So many times in my life.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Is that why? Because you felt so alone.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
So alone starting with and in nineteen eighty two. So
when you're born, Yeah, what was your childhood like?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Really tricky. I you know my dad, my dad was
in he was addicted to drugs and alcohol. My parents
were partiers. My mom tried really hard think to normalize,
which she could normalize. But you know, at a certain point,
you just kids get smart, and kids have this really
(15:07):
unique way also of like making everything their fault. And
I just remember thinking, like, you know, if I don't know,
like it just was. It was. It was wild, It
was angry and rageful. I think I thought if we
were like the best of the best kids, or we
(15:28):
did all these really wonderful things, like maybe that would
make him choose us over like a bar or whatever
else he was up to. That's such a big thought
and feeling to have to carry it.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sorry, Yeah, I just look back on childhood now and
I just see all the places like Jesus met me
in those places so deeply. I've had a lot of therapy,
so it doesn't I'm not like emotionally detachment. I talk
about these things, but I do feel like a really good,
deep sense of like relief and like inside out healing
in all those situations. So that doesn't like hurt me
(16:03):
as much.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
To say, am because you were in hard on your healing.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Oh yeah, I had to was it?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Was it swallowing you alive?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah? And I think becoming a mom also changes things.
It's not lost on me. Love and I My oldest
is a girl, and she is we're two days apart.
We were due to be a day apart, and I thought,
this is I remember deciding when I was twenty seven.
I decided that from me forward was not going to
know this life, that I was changing the trajectory in
(16:32):
my family history. I wanted to be not perfect, but
I wanted to be more whole and more honest about
the way I did life. And so that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Why'd you finally make that line in the sand?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think I just was tired of the upkeep, you know,
like there's this narrative that was created that I had
to play and uphold. But it wasn't a narrative I decided.
And I don't know this is socially it may not
even match for people, but it was like I'm paying
my own bills. I'm doing my own thing, Like why
(17:05):
do I have to participate in this story? Still?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
You know, like what what makes me feel like I'm
like in this like I'm bound to this upkeep that's
exhausting me and it's not honest.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, And it's like when you get older. I was
actually talking to Michael about this, just about schooling system
and stuff. Because teachers and adults and figures, like, with
the best of intentions or whatever, what they can put
they can say sweeping statements and put it across and
over a child's life that that child then feels that
(17:38):
that is who they are. They can like literally put
that over a child's life. And so what you speak,
why am I getting emotional?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I'm gonna get emotion what you what you speak over.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Children is so impactful because like, if you speak these
certainties over them, or if they have neglect and you
feel like you have to like do something to earn love,
like you make that into who you are, and your
whole personality becomes that and you don't even know why.
And then when you finally get to your age, when
you're like, why am I even playing by this rule book?
Of these unhealed people who happen to be the first
(18:07):
guides of your life, and you appreciate them for bringing
you into the world, but they are not the only
people who have value in this earth to you. And yes,
they did a big part and got you here, but
like then you come to a point where it's like,
why am I letting them speak over me? What I
know is not true anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, it's tiring. You're keeping up a narrative you didn't create,
and you and like find it. That's what you all
want to do. And I'm not here to like Mike
bust and I'm not here to like preach from the hilltops.
I'm just like my whole thing was, I'm just not
participating anymore.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And you get to choose because you know who you are,
you know what you value. I know it doesn't sound good, yes,
and so now it's up to you to have to rewire,
which is fucking hard, hardest, so hard. I remember we
used to send each other pictures of like people with
gold light flashing through. Yes, like I'm rewiring my life
with gold light. Yes, gold light. It sounds insane, but
(18:58):
like all these things, like I am rewiring everything about myself.
So I don't believe the lies.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Well, it's it like, is exhausting.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's exhausting because it's healthy.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It is second to second.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
But how much more exhausting is it to stay in
the toxic, unhealthy world?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
If that will kill you, I honestly think it'll eat
you alive.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
So then it's exhausting to get healthy. But at least
you're getting relief.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, and the people from me on, like my family,
will know that there was that work, and they'll see
and feel something different, and hopefully they'll be able to
make more educated, emotionally educated choices, you know, moving forward.
I think, so, what were your back of rules? So
when I met you? I so because I think I
(19:42):
grew up so structureless. I grabbed a bunch of rules
because it just felt like safe.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Kids love discipline, they love boundaries, they love structure, They
just do. Even Legend Wild the middle of our family.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Who but you named him Legend Wild?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I know I did it to myself.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Wait, you can't name a boy legend Wild inspect anything.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
I mean, the way he is has a mullet. He
says he's gonna drive for Monster Jam. He is Will Ferrell. Yeah,
he smells like mud and poor decisions, and I love
him so much anyway anyway, so I just I just
think that that is where all the rules came from.
And then I was suffocating under all the self rules
(20:20):
that I made, and you were the first one to
be like, wait, so why are you doing that? And
I was like, yeah, I don't know. And you're like,
but why is that a rule? And I was like
I just because it is. And you're like, but but
who said and I was like I think me and
you're like yeah, so I no one wants the big
baggar rules. And then you even said it must be
heavy carrying that big bag of rules. Here comes Kristen
with the big baggar rules. Yeah, and I was like, yeah,
(20:44):
I don't want it. I didn't, but why do you
start doing it?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh? There you are there, I am just taking in
her big baggar rules again. Big baggar rules so exhausting.
So the bag is down and unpacked. We cut the cord.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah. I just have sorted through all the uneeded madness
and I feel a lot lighter. I feel like more important,
like more recently just walking in my purpose, more like
the calling. The minutes feel slower, which is crazy because
I just had a baby. And also I feel like
she's sixteen months and I'm not sure how that happened
(21:20):
because I like tried to freeze her because I knew
how fast it goes. She's will be nine, she's nine. Yeah,
but we've known each other ten years. That's what's tricky.
Can you believe that a decade?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And Legend is six six and Lion is sixteen months?
See there's from Lyon to Legend is six years. You
had a big break in between.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
We did have a big break.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Was she a surprise break?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
A couple of breakdowns?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, one more baby.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We did pray for her, we thought we tried for
her for two years. Love prayed every single night, relentlessly
for a baby sister, not just a baby, a baby sister.
And we didn't find out the gender, so I was
a little nervous for Love's reaction if it was a boy.
And I just remember I had this. I've shared it
with you before, but I had this vision when I
was pregnant with Legend. We didn't know if Legend was
(22:09):
a boy or girl either. There was a baby. I
saw the baby. Her name was Lyon, and she had
dark hair and big eyes. And we give birth, I
give birth to legend, We meet legend, and presens like
is this her? Is this the baby? And I was like,
you know, even if he looked like the baby, I
thought maybe I had it wrong. He didn't look at
all like the baby. He looks like a shrunken, angry
(22:31):
version of my dad with Kiwi hair. And I was like,
this is just not anything like that baby. And so
I wondered for a really long time, like why would
I see a baby that isn't mine? What a string?
I did see Sonny, and she is who I saw. Yeah,
Oh she's everything.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I saw her in your dream. She is.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
She is a thousand person. But I knew she wasn't mine. Yeah,
in my dream, I knew she was yours. And she is.
She is one hundred percent what I saw spirit Like
the freedom, it's beautiful, yeah, you know, like the hamster,
like her having seventeen bedrooms, her not using any of them.
(23:12):
It's just so on brand for everything I saw on
that vision. I love it.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Sunny. I've like Suddy's the mom and I'm the child
and I'm trying to be the mom. But I literally
I'm like, okay, say you're in charge like she so
knows how she wants everything to be big virgo energy.
But I love that because I never care how anything is.
That's why, like Michael, whatever he wants to do, I'm
make sure I don't ever have a plan. I just flow.
That's how I flowed into everything. I don't ever know
where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm like, okay,
(23:36):
I'm here. I will be here with my full heart.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I know you will. But that's I think the part
that like when we first met, where I was like,
you're all the things I'm not because I'm going and flowing.
But for a long time there was a lot of luggage.
I was getting the backpacker roll, like getting there, but
do you have room for my pod? Can I park
it in your driveway?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
It leaves exhausting, But you're going.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
And now I feel so much better.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Good for you, light, that's so and mother has been
so good for you. Okay. So I was in the
delivery room with Love. You were, but I really just
trust you the most. I wish I would have watched
Love come out, but I was like, so even though
it's in the delivery room, I was like, I don't
need to look at her vagina when her baby's.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Honestly, until today, I thought you always did look at
my vagina. This is interesting.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Why did I have like embarrassment about that? Because I
was like, I'm not for I was just like I
need to not but all I wanted to do was
see her come out. Obviously, I'm actually sad you didn't
bread I didn't do that, and I regret that you
weren't there for lying because she was your last opportunity
to watch that happen with my body.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Then I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
You maybe did lion C section? No, what do you
mean last? Oh? I thought you said legend.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
No yeah, no, like we're not we're not doing yeah, yeah,
well God will decide, but we are all set. I
feel very complete.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
It's weird when you're when you get that feeling.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Because you didn't have it. No, you're kind of content.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I've always been grateful. Yeah, but I just also was like, gosh,
why would you show me a baby that isn't mine?
You know?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Oh, so you like believed it in your soul.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I knew I was going to meet that person, I
just didn't know when I was going to meet her,
and I thought maybe it is a grand baby. Maybe
that's what one of my grandbabies would look like. But
I know so fully her name was Lion, Like, I
can't tell you how certain I am about that, And
so it is weird that I named a little girl
Lion and she's a Gemini and she's born on six nine,
so on Jesus name. I really hope that she is
(25:20):
just like a really wonderful human being, because she has
the potential to just be a rowdy rocker. I know,
Lion Lockhart love you.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Love a big adventure. I do. I love it.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I do. I'm married and you make it. I do,
and we're living it. Yeah, she is awesome. And when
she came out, I remember, so we didn't find out
she was a boy or girl. She comes out and
in the birth video you just hear me weeping and
you say, I said, I knew it was you. I
knew it was you. She looks just like the baby, like,
(25:55):
I'm going to show you the birth video before I leave.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Come on. So when you saw her face, it was
the face.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
So what's crazy about this is in every ultrasound with
love and listen. I was such a biblical age when
I was pregnant with this last baby, like I was
forty one forty two now, so I had an ultrasound
like every ten minutes, you know, they're just checking extra
on you. And every ultrasound I would say, does this
baby have hair? And they would never be able to
tell me, and I'm like, what what a strange Like
(26:20):
they told me with love eight years ago. Certainly technology
has to be down to like the freckle at this point,
you know. And every time they'd be like, I don't know,
maybe a little, and I'm like that's wild, like okay,
and so then I keep thinking I got a bald baby,
and so who is the baby I saw? You know,
but also just trusting the process growing a baby. I'm
feeling healthy about it. It's great. Anyways, all the ultrasounds,
(26:41):
no one could ever tell me. And we get up
to the room and they check me and they say,
do not move. You are complete, and it's time to push,
and I'm like okay, and so they're you know, how
fast everything starts moving, and I said, can somebody just
tell me? Does the baby have hair?
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Wait? When all this is going on, that's the old
or asking.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
They said, we see the head and I said, does
the baby have hair? And they said so much. It's
dark and it's about an inch long, and I am
til I'm so emotional. I knew. I was like, ah,
this is it, Like I get to meet this person.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
I'm exciting.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Was this this is like it's like you're gonna go
see a movie and then you watch the two detailed trailer,
you know when trailers ruined the movie and they show
you all the good parts. I think that's why, like,
I think that's why God moved all the pieces. And
I never got my answer about the hair. It was like, really,
we prayed about this baby. I gave you this vision
five years ago. You're about to meet the baby, and
you still want the sneak peek, like come on, So
(27:39):
he never I never got it until it was push
time and what she came out and they said, Preston
got to tell me. It's a girl. And I just
wept and the face was exactly what you have. Oh,
I'm telling she has bigger eyes than the rest of them.
She had the thickest dark hair, she had more hair
than the rest of them. And it was a girl.
And I just kept saying, I knew it was you
and you know what's wild, what's even more wild? And
(28:00):
I think no, but she's no, not like I'm not Sonny.
I saw older Sonny running through like Ryan is the
age now where I feel like I just can't even
tell you. I think the really important thing though, in
sharing this story about her is and without going into
like a ton of detail, you know, our industry is
(28:20):
really hard on marriages, really hard on marriages. And Preston
and I had a really like I'm not even sure
cod it. We had a shit year in twenty twenty two.
We had a real what was a shit come to Jesus'
year of like just what are what is tolerated in
our industry is not appropriate and it becomes so commonplace,
(28:44):
but out of our vacuum is really detrimental to marriages totally,
and and so we had to do we did. We
did a couple's intensive in twenty twenty two, and we
just really went through it. In the thick of it,
I'm really proud of us in a way I've never
been proud of us before. I'm really proud of myself
(29:04):
in a way that I've never been proud because I
never thought I could be a person that would be
able to like forgive and see someone like with a
christ like heart like that. And I'm just really super
proud of him, really proud of him. You know, he
grew up in a Church of Christ home and there
was a lot swept under the rug too, and a
(29:25):
lot of avoidance. Like his mom still says she doesn't
do conflict, which I'm not sure how one goes through
life without any conflict, but like blessed yayah. And so
he had to have some like deep ownership of some
things and we had to have some really really hard talks.
But I only share that because if I had not
known forgiveness, I don't know the baby God promised me.
(29:49):
And that's really critical to me because that person was
on the other side of the deepest, realist, most marriage
in the shit storm together forgiveness, yes, And if I
don't know forgiveness, I never get the grand prize. And
that like she is, how could I ever live without her?
(30:11):
Like knowing her now, She's just so special and she's
what our whole family needs. Legend needs to feel wildly
important and she does that for him, you know, and
love needed to have a sister. I always wanted a sister,
That's probably why I'm too emotionally attached to you unhealthy
ways sometimes. But like it's so cool that these like
little grand prizes are hidden on the other side of
(30:34):
like really hard human things, had had hard work, hard work.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Oh and forgiveness, because sometimes you're like people, it's so
easy to be like I just I can forget and
move on, but I just will never be able to forgive.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, you know, but like honestly, don't get it twisted,
because my Detroit self will not forget anything but the
forgiving I'm working on. But like make note, make no mistake,
there's notes made, but we're just trying to you know.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
But it's also realizing that like like we all need
things forgiven, you know, everything, Like because as soon as
I feel like because I've had a few things that
I felt like were kind of done wrong to me
this past year, like where I felt like slided by
someone that I loved and I felt like, oh my god, wow,
I can't believe you could do that. But then I
catch myself doing something else to someone else that I
(31:23):
didn't even realize I was doing because I'm a flawed
human as well, and I'm like man, people just like
make mistakes all the time. Humanness is tricky, humanness is
so hard, and everyone is making a mistake. And I
think that if you are able to come and truly
ask for forgiveness and do the work to change, then
like why not. That's why people love jelly Roll. Look
at his story, you know, it's like his name.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I told Prestony yesterday. I was like, can you just like,
I mean, what a fun name, jelly Roll, but just
his real name.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Uh, Jason. Maybe I think they'll think of it though,
because it's like, what if people have counted him out
back in the day for all the crimes that like
are so publicly that he's so publicly committed, you know.
And it's like, but now we wouldn't have this person
speaking this healing over the nation, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So I'm like sitting in Congress and yeah, he's incredible.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Cancel culture not giving people a second chance. The person
has to own up and change, yes, but like to
just cancel someone out and throw them away because they
did something that you consider unforgivable, well look at yourself too,
you know. And I'm not justifying all bad behavior at
any means.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
And I'm also not saying like we were in some
TMZ worthy tragedy, Like you know, we've got you and
I both have lots of mutual friends that have had
like really dark pieces of their marriage, and like and I,
this is not like it's know what you know about
the person that you married and try to figure out
what's best for you.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
The true use is like a total difference.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It's just never like that.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
It's just like working through personality flaws.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah that maybe had gotten deep rooted.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You are such a good friend to us, but yeah,
personality flaws for sure. Yea, yeah, I just I yeah,
I just also saw my husband really have like a
deep realization. That matters too. If I had been with
someone who was defending their behavior or gaslighting me or whatever,
you know, I think that's a different story. But just
(33:10):
to see the humiliation and like the deep hurt and
that just is a different version of him, And honestly
it's the hottest thing to me, Like, listen, this person
has been my person since the minute I freaking met Yeah,
I got.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Buried in a whirlwind.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
I was like, remember I told you I was gonna
hand out complimentary and neck braces for how fast everything moved.
At first, it was just like, way, how did it
move so fast? So fast? And I mean that was
part of even like our couples. Intensive was us going
like I remember sitting, I mean I was pregnant with
his baby and going like okay, so like I love
your soul and but do you like asparagus? Like there
(33:46):
was so many like open ended questions. I just didn't.
But it's weird when you're connected in that way. I
mean we all risky business though, real risky, real risky,
crazy risky.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
All marriage is risky, but that's extra risky because you
really don't know a lot about the person you're really
trusting an instant weird.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
And I didn't even really like super I like, don't
trust dudes. Anyways, you just went hard? Why did I?
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I don't know. I'm so glad it's all worked out.
You've been on the journey man, me too. But I
remember thinking to myself, oh shit, yeah, this is going
fast wild I know, but freak. I mean, I went
on the journey you're supposed to go on.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I was so allergic to the gender after that last
post it like breakup that I was like, no way,
I'll just adopt a baby on my own. I'm gonna
have this big career, forget it. And then next thing
you know, I'm texting and talking till four in the morning,
and I'm like a little school girl and I'm like, yeah, totally,
I'll move in with you. Why am I?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
No? We're all married in like four months, I lost.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
All my sense. No, we were pregnant and like five yeah,
oh and no you got married after uh huh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Love was definitely at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Was she ever twenty five weeks?
Speaker 1 (34:55):
I just don't you do twenty five weeks pregnant when
you got married. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We were just trying to pick a weekend we both
weren't on the road, and I ended up being labor
dy the irony, labor day, iron the irony. Anyways, I'm
not condoning doing it in that way. We are reverse
dating now. We do a lot of like overnights. We're
trying to do more like away trips together.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
You know, we've done a great job.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
We're we've done a really honest.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Job, which is as great as you can do. That's
the most we can do.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
It hasn't always been honest, but the work we're putting
in is like like, oh, well, yeah, if we would
have had it our way, maybe we wouldn't have Like,
if we would have done it maybe the ways of
the world. We could have done this slower and avoided
a couple of things.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
But but you learned it all pays off.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
And now look now look three healthy, beautiful babies. I'm tired.
I'm getting ambushed by my own uterus. I mean, life
is great and very cool. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
That is happening to all of us.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Yeah, it's weird, and we can be in this phase
for up to ten years, a whole decade.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
It's always something surprise, parties.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Wild, and it doesn't just come in sneaky anymore with
the tap tap it's like a good yeah, it's like
a very seventh grade math class feeling like I'm like,
oh shit, like you know, like you just panic. It
doesn't feel fair.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Doesn't come in your tap chap.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
It does not with a little hey girl, is this occupied?
It's not like that. It's like very aggressive. Yeah, but
again a healthy body. Nonetheless, and here we.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Are, here we are, and I think about this body.
I'm like, thank you body, You've been through so much
for me.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
And how hard I've been on this body for so.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Long the past, like the past decade, I've been pretty
good at like switching the narrative of loving that body,
well at least the past five years. Yeah, I mean
this body has some good things for us.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I mean, we were in a boonze farm season, we've
been in a hydroxy cut season. We have been this
wild ride. Yeah, I know it's really intense, but I'm
really proud of us.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
You're gonna say something it's wild about your kids, and
then I totally sidetracked you. And I'm trying not to
sidetract people anymore because then they forget what they were
gonna say.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Well, moms sidetracked themselves. I mean, don't you think I
have your idea? I don't remember why I'm walking into
a room half the time.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Or well, you're walking in looking freaking hot.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
That's today shampooed.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Talk about that.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
There's a psa that everyone should take the everything shower today.
This is your sign to do your everything shower.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
How many versions of a mom busy woman shower or
are there? What would you think they're the what do
you think of the main versions?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Well, the bare minimum, right is like the no hair wash.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Just I never washed my hair once a week.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Well, listen, so I when it was not my natural color,
I could do that, and now that it's more my
natural color, I have to wash like how often, like
twice or three times a week. It's don't do it.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I would never.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Yeah, you shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I'll go past a week until my hair is like
literally like I'll move my hand and it stays in
the position. This is beyond disgusting.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
But I'm a Plato person. I guess I'll just wash
my hair.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I'll go to hot yoga like twice a week and
not wash my hair.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Listen, I'm sorry, judge me everyone. I would the second
snatch is like a thing. What the sleek and snatched
look is like a thing.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
So that's not what I'm doing with it.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Listen, you put that in a low bon and everyone's
going to think it was on purpose. I almost guarantee
it almost. Well, I can't guarantee you life is great.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
So how many how many showers are there? What are
the versions?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Well, you know, there's like I'm just here to like
I like it like a continual baptize. There's the crying shower, right,
the continual baptism shower. What is that where you just
go in and weep yeah, yeah, yeah, and then there's
the soap and go right, and then.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
You shave on the soap and go. I'll know you.
I see every time I'm in a shower, I have
to shave my legs. That's where I'm saving my time.
It is the shaving, the hairy legs driving nuts. It should.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I think you're a really good person and a good
wife for that commitment.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It's really only about myself. I don't like the way
my legs feel.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
I shave today, so I feel really good about that.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah. Yeah, so quick, just soap it off out. You
can do that in literally one minute.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah. I mean usually my husband's like are you done?
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Where we gonna watch TV? It's like okay, you know,
then there's whatever. Then there's like the actual So the
everything shower for me is like the shave. I put
a little face mask. I do like the shampoo left
your feet. Oh I do.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Difference too, and I don't buffalo like man, these cracks
are deep in my heels.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
So what is wrong with me? I know, Sonny will
put it's a very Britney twenty like two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Is this?
Speaker 2 (39:25):
This is like their foot in a gas station kind
of feel.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
The how long these feet have been walking? Oh, and
all the things they've walked over. So I mean there's gonna.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Be some crash and we get a soul refresh and
Jesus on my feet. Yes, soul, that's all. Yeah. I
just the everything shower, you know, once in a while
there's a good soaking prayer bathtub. But oh those are
the days. No, no, yeah, Usually by the end of
the day, I'm just like, is it do? What do
I need? And it's usually just bed. I've been in
(39:55):
the slippery slope of late night snacking. What are you
snacking on? White judar, popcorn and root beer? Ollipop?
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I do not like Ollipop.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Have you tried the root beer?
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I don't like any of them.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
You don't like the root beer?
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Well, I haven't tried it. It's not gonna change my
mind though. It's all the other ones I have not liked.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
I don't like the other ones either. Oh, tricky, tricky,
welcome to my slipper. Good for ollipop, And I don't
even like soda. So the fact that Ollipop root beer
has got a hold on me is really something? It's
really something. Yeah, and that most of the time I
just want to I think it's because I wouldn't do
uninterrupted food.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Are you eating? Are you watching something? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Nobody wants this and nobody wants this A city and repeat,
you know, eat, pray, love. When the mood feels deeper.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Are you feeling though, I feel like you're feeling pretty balanced,
Like I feel so good.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
So what I'm nervous of is the other day I thought,
is something wrong with.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
Me because you're feeling so good?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
Because I think this is what not relaxed, but I
think less anxious feels like nervous system. WHOA, I don't know.
I don't want to drink it.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Your nervous system is finally after all this work and
time was calming down.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, good job, really been through it. But you've done
what my husband feels like sometimes. Yeah, system mornings. I
bet this is what my husband feels like in the
morning when he's not jumping out of bed to make
lunches or anything good.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
He's jumping out of bed to make lunches.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
No he's not, I am Oh, he's cozy, he's a
little den good for him. He creats a little habitat
for himself. What else say?
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'm proud of you so great?
Speaker 2 (41:31):
What are you happy about?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
What are you excited about? What are you I.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Wrote a kid's book. I've not told anybody this.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Can we announce it? Oh? Wait, hit the window?
Speaker 2 (41:40):
It's a sign?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
What is that a sign? I don't know something just
hit the window right when you said that. I think
that's a sign that some go open the door, open
the door. Okay, Okay, God, I got nervous that. I
was like, no, it's saying I'm knocking open the what's.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
A dead bird? Omen That made me feel nervous.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
No, I think I'm gonna go I'm knock going to
open the door.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Okay. So this is like I've not talked to anyone
about this.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I kind of for a minute forgot. We were like
recording and I was like catching up with you, and
I kind of like feel nervous, but I'm gonna say it, sure, right,
I think? So Okay. So Preston's mom and I during
COVID kind of co wrote this kid's book and it's
called Don't Take a Yaya Outside.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Because her name uh huh. It's based on a true
story of ya ya. Why don't we take it? Why
don't we take outside?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Because her teeny tiny ponytail can get tangled in a
tree and it is. I think it's quite precious. And
if nothing else, Preston's mom has dreamed her entire life
of being a published author.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
So have you. I have. So that's a good combination, right,
made me emotional. You've always said, as long as I've
known you, you said you're going to write a book and
publish it. You've been talking with that for a decade.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I know, And it's very Enneagram two of me to
like make it be my mission to like also get hurt,
like you know, like of course I'll go do it,
but it'll be for both of us.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Right, So yeah, maybe that's just what you needed to get. Yeah,
the book party started.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I have a dream of her reading this book because
she's a really exceptional reader, Like she's animated. Oh she's
a creature. You know you've met her, watched her float
around in her own little orbit. But she is so
special And I feel, like Preston used to say, when
she was mystery reader for his class or guest reader
for his class, it was the best that she was
the best. Like he was very proud that that was
(43:24):
his mom. So I want her to like read to
like a sea of kids at like Parnassis bookstore and
like even a big box. I know everyone's got their feelings,
but like I'd love to watch her just get a
crowd at Barnes and Noble and like feel important and
valued and smart.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I think that would be so cool to watch just
be in her element.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, So we wrote this book together and I tweaked
it a bit, just in the way that like I
need I am. I have a little kids, so I
know what's entertaining, what's not right now, you know. But yeah,
Yah's kind of stuck in being a little kid herself.
So she's pretty talented. But it's cute. Don't take a
gay outside and this is why is how it starts.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Yeah, and it's all the illustration's been done. Who's really pretty,
my friend Britt, who is exceptional. What I love the
most is that it's just two moms in a neighborhood
that did this. I called her and I said, there's
just no one this is a good sign. There's just
no one that I could think that would just do
a better job of like the detail that is needed
(44:20):
for this. And she was like, I'm in so.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
It was easy, it flowed, it did it's great.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
So I hope to get a literary agent and have
it pitched and hopefully it makes us splash and yah
Ya gets to go be interviewed and like, I don't know,
I just want her to, like, I want this for
her so badly.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
You want this little life forced to take off. You
can see the little world that this book could create.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
I just it's her world. And I wish everybody did
have a yah Ya, And I wish that every woman
who has a mother in law that maybe isn't the
most helpful, I can get some redemption.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Am I writing a book about it?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
But I just feel like it's really beautiful. I hope
it's simple. It sings songy and it's and I just
feel like it's gonna I hope it is something.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
I just love that you always have a creative, creating spirit.
Oh oh, I have to you are always creating something.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
I mean, I live in a Satura night Live skit.
You know my world is that. Look at the characters
I have in my house. It's wild. It's a wild
wild ride, so we have to start like sharing it.
I hope that every kid gets to sit with like
a yah yah and just you know, she magic carpet
rides around my house and she's crazy and I love
(45:31):
her and she's five pounds soaking wet and she is
just feistier. She gets older and super weirdly into murder shows,
and so I sometimes wonder that it's fine. Maybe that's
where all her conflict goes. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Some people find it very relaxing to watch murder shows. Yeah,
not I either.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
The exposed nerve for the world. I do not need that.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
No, thank you, I know I hate it all.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
If we need more worry, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
I know? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
So there's the book and podcast and that's it. Christ
Breast Yeah, Kristen we Brust.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
I love that. I know.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Should I change it or you like it?
Speaker 1 (46:06):
It's great.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I really only named it in Kristin Weebrust so that
people would understand how to pronounce our last name because
I felt so bad that my husbands had to deal
with the brust and the burst of his whole life.
And so I thought, well, we'll just make it so
obvious and I'll make a name for us.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
We'll get there. Yeah, you're also on Wine Down yep.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
But it's also an iHeart podcast, so that's great. We've
had great interviews. He's been your favorite. Matthew McConaughey, did.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
You tell me you loved him?
Speaker 2 (46:33):
I didn't, Okay, I didn't because it's like having your
really extra rad older brother home from college. I think,
as we're getting older.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Who wants to be with anyone else anyway?
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, and like you're just somebody's really awesome husband and dad,
And like I don't feel like that anymore towards you, totally.
I just really respect his introspection. I think it is
just I think introspection is hot.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
I think that's why my husband got hotter after twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yes, introspection is the hottest. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Like I don't want the surface guy, No, I want
the guy that has the depth. Yeah. And I don't
want the guy that has the depth and the point
where he's like over analyzing. Why am I scrambling eggs?
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Then you can't live life exhaust myself. It's a perfect balance.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Yeah, it's great. I just need someone that can just
check in.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
I'm so proud of you. I love me pro so much.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
I just love Thank you for having me, thank you
for coming on. I'm really proud of us for making
a podcast where I didn't literally sit on your lap
close though. I think it's worth noting that producer Morgan
tried to move us apart and we would not concede
to direction. I mean, opposite ends the couch. Not for
me and my egg.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Not gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
No, no, no, We're just a couple of shells.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
You know. I don't know if I'll ever be able
to make we You were maybe one of my last
best friends that I ever made, egg, you know, because
like I don't have time for best friends anymore. I
don't even know how to make a best friend anymore.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
I know how to make Like the criteria's definitely changed too.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
Yeah. Yeah, Like what we met, it was like we
were in the middle of our big adventure and we're
in a new adventure.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
But what are these stories we know about child?
Speaker 1 (48:11):
We were like in the middle of something that does
not exist anymore. It's gone, which is so wild that time.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
I don't we even knew what we were in the
middle of.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
And it's over and we're the only ones that know
that it was there, because like, it was just a
little world and now it's just done.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
What a fun little world.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
We just really had a good time. Can I tell
a story about when you guys put me in hooker
boots after I was gave birth to my child?
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Oh my god, I see, I did not know probably
what you needed back there. I don't think if that
was it, I don't.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
I've enough of the story that most people would already
agree to.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
See. I was trying to get you back out on
the town. I'm like, listen, we need to go out.
You need to feel sexy.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
You were so proud of how hot I was. You
were like, what is this is what you look like
eleven days after birth?
Speaker 1 (48:53):
I would do this differently now, I know you.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
What Andrea actually texted me and said, I when she
got pregnant, was like, I am want to just deeply apologize.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
The baby's not.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Even out yet, and I want you to know I would.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Never do that again.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
It wasn't abuse, though it was.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
It was believed in your hotness so much, but you really.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
Did you have to be hot. Oh So I would
like to share this story with your permission on your
podcast that it happened. I mean, and I'd like to
share as a precursor that I would do things differently now.
I just think it's funny because I think it's like,
good for people that are listening that don't have kids yet,
that probably like, what does my friend need postpartum?
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Not hooker boots?
Speaker 2 (49:30):
And when I try to do a tho, good, oh,
You're like, you look so hot, bend over. We're gonna
send this to Preston. And I was like, what, I
didn't even I wouldn't even with me. I didn't even
know if like anatomically, is that the word I'm looking
for I should put on a thong. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
I just I must have. I was so in a
different world. Oh my god, I cannot.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Well no, but I'm not I'm offending this. I will
defend this by saying you just were so convinced it
how hot I was. But I was like, okay, actually okay,
because I had a baby and my husband had the
biggest year of his life and career. He was gone
two hundred and fifty days that year, wild wild times. Right,
(50:21):
So when you come over and you're like, this is
what eleven days after giving birth looks like we are
putting I mean, Andrew, I mean the girls went into action.
These boots over the knee boots were being pulled out
of a trunk of a car. They weren't even my size.
I'm ASIG seven and a half. These were a nine
to nine and a half minimum. It doesn't matter. I
was told, because we're not going to concentrate on the feet.
(50:42):
Is a quote that I will always remember. Said that,
not you, We're not getting concentrated. Bend over. That's great,
bend over just like that. That's great. And they're like,
can you we need a thong. We need a thong.
And I was like, I don't know if I am
I allowed to?
Speaker 1 (50:56):
This feels like an alternate universe.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Well it was, That's what I'm saying. You're like at
times that we don't even exist anymore. And I'm like,
right now, we're like bringing each other like cast Jony.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Like a cozy blanket and soup and some banana nut bread.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Do you have that?
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Let's go get something. I owe it to.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
For the boots.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
Like you believe that?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Hysterical though, like kick me out right then and there, No,
because I also was just I was the first of
our friends to have a baby.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
But maybe this is what we do.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
I just I just, honestly, I will say this and
I fullheard like you know me, I'm really I too
am truthful to a fault, like it never felt to
me like anything other than just like I think I
actually needed to feel hot because I love. I mean,
think of how much of yourself you lose when you
first become a mother. It's a really self wild ride.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
I don't know if eleven days postpartums the time to
quite did that.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Well, I'll tell you might have saved a marriage. You
never know in hindsight, because I sent that picture off
to my husband on the road and he was just happy,
feeling so proud. So maybe you were onto something. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
God, I would be like why if hale, No, don't
I would if you're not coming over with the blanket
and zoo get out.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Now I didn't for the emotional wreckage that happens, not
just your body emotionally, I was wrecked for over a year.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Oh minimum, I mean minimum minimum, like I did. Kaylee
Dickerson's podcast Six Weeks Postpartum with this baby, and I
had to like be prayerful like I, because you don't
you're not in your right mind, and you sometimes have
glimpses of thinking you're in your right mind, which can
be dangerous. No, and then I'm like, but I say
too much? Do I say too little? You know? Am
(52:34):
I even interesting?
Speaker 1 (52:36):
Nothing?
Speaker 2 (52:37):
It's mean even today, I'm like, am I interesting? I
don't know, but at least curl up with you.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
We can ask Morgan, how has this been?
Speaker 2 (52:44):
Morgan was kind of checked out until the hooker Booth's comment,
I think she's back.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
Can you believe that? Can you believe that? I was
so out of touch? Like for real?
Speaker 2 (52:55):
But this isn't mean well making sure, this isn't to like,
it's just hysteric because now I think about like now
we have such deep knowing of what everyone needs. I like,
I didn't know what I needed, But.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
It wasn't that I'm gonna tell you what I.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
Was A mean, A volunteered. I was like, sure, I mean, it's.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
How funny though it is because literally after having a baby,
I have now gained a whole new perspective of life
and awareness that like post Sonny, I feel like I
was absolutely an insane person for real, Like I don't,
I honestly don't feel like I even knew.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
I don't feel like you were insane. No, listen, the
amount of hormones rushing through one's body and our industry,
I mean, it's we do need to give ourselves like
the biggest blanket of grace because it's it's wild. It
is not it's not normal. There's no normality in postpartum
(53:54):
to begin with. And then you know you've got people
walking carpets. Ten days later, you've got I mean, I
hit a baby on the CMA carpet, like a real baby,
my baby mine girl. I don't announced, and I wouldn't announce, yeah,
because you know I had the loss. So I'm very careful.
We don't announce until we just absolutely have to. And
I pulled Krista Rosier aside and said, I need to
(54:18):
tell you something. And we didn't even tell the other
half of our duo yet. I was like, I just
need you to help me camouflage the massive amount of
what looks like an intense bloat because I was almost
ten weeks pregnant on the carpet, and with the third
it was just oh, it popped out so fast, so
she just beated me up. If you look back at
that red carpet, look, it was just a ton of
beats of like a chandlier around my waist. It was stunning,
(54:38):
it was perfect. She made the top look tiny, the
bottom you wou'd even pay attention to. And I smuggled
that little lying girl through that carpet and dealt with
all the drunk monkey after party people. And then the
next morning, at eight am, I was just two streets
over getting an ultrasound to get a heartbeat and make
sure everything was good. Wildlife. We wouldn't, but that's what
I'm saying, Like, we don't know, what do we know?
(55:01):
We don't know. So it's a PSA today. If you
feel like putting on the thong and ugger boots, do it.
If you feel like maybe you'd just rather have banana bread,
tell them, yeah, I didn't know I want a banana
bread at the time. I just wanted friendship, and you
served it. You did. It's like, whoa, let's go, bro,
You're like, you look hot. We need to do the
Andrea was all in. I mean, who else was Amanda
(55:21):
with us?
Speaker 1 (55:21):
I wouldn't put on a pair of hooker boots to
save my life right now? Yeah, I mean, well you
kind of you kind of look you kind of look
great today.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Well, these are just a cow boy bootish you're you're
serving well, I'm camouflaging what bloat? By the ambushing uterus? Yeah, nothing,
by the pairs occupying. Yeah, the periwinkle is ambushed and
we are here, And I thought, you know, what will
do me good to feel like a person today? I'll
curl my hair, but on a little makeup and I'll try.
(55:50):
I'll try.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
You're so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
I was wrap up with leave your light. What do
you want people to know?
Speaker 2 (55:59):
I want you to know that some of the best
times in your life haven't even happened yet. And I
think we live in a very noisy world that wants
to distract you from facts. And the fact is you
have not even met some of the people that will
make you the happiest, that you'll laugh the hardest with.
And you haven't even had some of the best times
(56:19):
of your life yet. And it's a big fun scavenger
hunt out there if you let it be, to go
find some things. If you don't get down some good times.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
If you don't like the bag or rules you're carrying
around with, Analyze it, figure out where those rules came from,
and cut the bag.
Speaker 2 (56:35):
Cut the bag, leave the bag, leave the bag. I
did sort the bag.
Speaker 1 (56:39):
Sort the bag, look at it. You need to check
it out.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
Checked it out. It's probably helpful, but not much, not
much of any of it. Actually anything the bag is
anything I would even carry No.
Speaker 1 (56:48):
Get it and then get a fresh bag and filled
with what you want instead of what you just inherited
from who knows where.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
I want to fill it with spog gift cards and
banana nu Brad, you've really set me like, that's right.
Speaker 1 (56:58):
The hooker boots in the past.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
We could leave your light today, what would it be?
Leave the hooker boots in the trunk and what else
you know?
Speaker 1 (57:07):
I think it always is my same advice. I always
come back to listen to your intuition. Just listen to
it when you're in.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
Just such a knowing, don't we and when you get.
Speaker 1 (57:17):
Any signal from it. Listen to it when you feel
nervous energy, like you don't feel you're where you're supposed
to be. Listen to it when you feel like things
are going well and easy and smooth. Listen to it.
When you feel like you're hitting resistance and it doesn't
feel like you're on the right road, listen to it.
Like when you meet someone, trust your instincts with them,
Like you know, I just feel like we will be
guided if we can just listen. It's interesting that whole
(57:38):
this whole podcast season that I'm doing right now is
called Homecoming, and it is about coming home to yourself
and just about deeply knowing yourself and taking the time
to learn yourself.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
Listen. There's a lot of things that, like, by forty
two almost forty three, are just a part of me.
And then there's a lot of things that I'm like,
but that doesn't have to be a part of me,
and I don't want to do it that way anymore.
And you get to just decide. It's not always that easy,
but you can make the decision pretty easily. But like
we never get to like really honor our discernment. And
it's literally the hard wiring God gives us to keep
(58:10):
us protected. I love it. It's a big life.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
And Christen and we breast.
Speaker 2 (58:15):
I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
It's all in the details.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
Banana not bread time, cozy blankets, that's time. Goodbye, I
love you, good Night, I love you.
Host
Caroline Hobby
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