Kristen Brust: Since the moment we met on my hubby’s tour bus it was love at first friendship.

I met Kristen the day she moved to Nashville. She was working for my hubby’s record label and we met on Michael’s bus before a show... It was friendship love at first sight. Kristen is a force. She loves BIG and HARD. She wears her soul on her sleeve and she isn’t scared to be raw and real and really share and bare it. Connecting with others and realizing we are not alone in this life is her mission statement. On this episode we talk a longggg time about the power of manifesting and her tips for getting your mind right. We talk about marriage. She tells me about the dance parties she and Preston (LoCash) have every night with their kids and how they have had to learn the new normal of him being home all the time since touring shut down due to Corona. We talk about loss. She miscarried in between her 2 kids and the ache and love for that child is so strong. I also relate to that ache. We talk about her podcast “In Kristen We Brust,” and why she started it, and what it’s all about. This convo is truly two best girlfriends/wives/mothers living in the music industry, talking about everything in God’s green earth, and recognizing how precious it is to have friendships that fuel your soul, allow you to be vulnerable and seen, and hold your hand while we make our way through this wild, wonderful, crazy life.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Carol, she's a queen and she's getting not afraid of fings,
so just let it flow. No one can Carol learned
sounds can So I am here with my dear friends,
Kristin Brush. You've actually been on a podcast twice before one.

(00:32):
When I first was launching, we did like a Mother's
Day special with two my other friends, Audrey and Mary.
Catherine and y'all had just had new babies and it
was all about being a new mom. Then you came
back on with one of our mutual best friends, Landy Crowder,
and we had such a great conversation. And now I'm
getting you all to myself, just you alone. Kristen Breast, Hello,

(00:57):
I'm a three time raining champ. Hey does that have
I have? I've been on the most. You're you're maybe
I mean varsity right now? It feels good? Yeah, I
mean you are definitely. There's a very small handful that's
been on me of you as much as you, if
not any So, I mean I love it. Welcome back,

(01:20):
do my whole life snuggled up on your lap. So
it makes me feel good that we just do a
lot of life together here on your podcast. That's fine,
I'll come back tomorrow if you want me to. I mean,
it's let's just do all the conversations. So we met
right when you first moved to Nashville, because I mean,
was that one of the first people that you met
on your national journey. You are the first person and

(01:42):
I didn't even live in Nashville yet. See we're destined. Yeah.
I was working for a big machine and I had
a thousand of horses as one of my acts. And
they flew me to the in D five hundred for
the weekend. And I walked on this bus and I
was like, who is this soul in front of me?
She is stunning. You had the biggest smile on your face,

(02:04):
and I was like, this is this amazing human being.
And You're like, hey, I'm Caroline. And I was like,
she's for sure gonna hate me. You know when you
think that pretty girls are always going to be like awful,
Like it was back in those days for me where
I was like, oh, she's too pretty to be nice too,
She's for sure. I mean, you're like so pretty. Definitely
definitely lacking on that that these days since COVID listen,

(02:27):
we've all gained as Laney Crowder says the COVID nineteen pens. Yeah, anyways,
it was like instant love. You were just my person
and we have been like. I mean, you were in
the delivery room when my daughter was born. That was
an amazing moment watching love be born, and you were
just like a champion when you gave birth. You were

(02:49):
so calm the whole experience. It was really it was
really an incredible moment to witness. I mean, obviously it
was incredible for you because your child's coming into this world,
but to get to witness that was amazing. Yeah, it
was just like it was really neat though, to have
like the support like you and Andrea both in the
room and just feel like I had I'm a big

(03:10):
one on energy, and I knew just having that kind
of like loving, caring, positive energy it was going to
be a rock star day. And now how old is Love?
She's going to be five in January? Where is how?
I don't know. It's so fast and they say that,
and I feel like I've lived so presently inside of

(03:32):
each day with her that I I feel like it
could be five years. But I guess for me, it's
just like she's becoming such a little girl. Now, like
I'll get emotional talking about it, but she just is
such a person her language and her opinions and her
designs and everything. She's just a whole human. You know.
It's so weird. I love that you said I live

(03:53):
so presently in each day with her, because I feel
like I do that also with Sunny. And I feel like,
do you think it's because we we were a little
bit older when we had children and we wanted them
so desperately that it makes you a more present mom
Because a lot of things that I know some moms

(04:14):
rightfully so complain about or hard and like everyone has
their own journey and struggles for sure, But like, I
don't know. I think because I wanted Sonny so badly,
and I know that you felt that same way with Love,
It's like the little the little things that could be
stressful don't really stress me out on the whole. I mean, yes,
by the end of the day, I need a bath
and a bottle of wine, let's be real, but full bottle.

(04:37):
I like how we're just disclosure. I mean I need
a bottle of wine and a straw with the bubble math.
But in the day, when when the living is happening
with Sonny, like I feel that same thing, it's very
important for me to be present. Talk to me about
that with love and how and why that is for you. Well,
I think so I've shared a bit of this um

(04:57):
my story throughout the podcast Ernie on my own podcast,
but which is in Kristen we Brust. Everyone needs to
check it out everywhere you can find podcast and Kristin
we Brust and we'll get into that, we'll talk about
what your podcast centers around. Um yeah, in a little bit.
But um so this wouldn't be new to anyone that's
heard this ish, but I grew up in kind of

(05:19):
a tumultuous upbringing. So for me, it's not lost on me.
Love and I are two days apart in our birthdays.
Um it's it's not lost on me that I have
this little blonde nugget who I don't project my inner
child onto for those therapy people out there, but it's
important to me to not get that. It's not lost

(05:41):
on me this. I get this poetic kind of breaking
of the cycle, fresh start with her um And I
think because I've always because I didn't grow up and
maybe the safest emotionally kind of stable home. It's like
her living a really full present life with me is

(06:02):
important to me, and she is my fresh start. She's
the cycle break. It is not about me rewriting my story,
but it's about me rewriting like, you know, the next
generation of like the hearts that we carry in our family,
which I think is important. So my theory on parenting
is that they're not really ours, they're just borrowed from God,
and that we get to steward their walk and that

(06:24):
we were the ones responsible for these children that are
His children. Again, they're um. So for me it feels
like and listen, I have a lot of mom fail
so I'm not being like every day I wake up
and the fresh pancakes and I have ridden in my hair,
But like I do always keep at the center of it.

(06:45):
At the gravity of like parenting and motherhood in our
house is this idea that they're on loan to us
from God and that it is our responsibility to stewart
their walk wisely. And it's a privilege to be able
to do that. I have a lot of friends who
have not had the opportunity to you know, even to
to be able to conceive a baby. So I don't.

(07:05):
It's not I don't take it lightly that it's a responsibility,
but it's also a privilege that we get to raise children.
And I'd like to say in the same breath, living
presently is easier for me to do because I'm gonna
stay at home mom, I feel like, so there's a
lot of moms that don't have that option. So I
do think it's important that when you get the time
with them, you stay as present as you can with them.

(07:27):
But I know that not everybody gets every single day
from when they wake up to the time they go
to bed, and that's a great distinction. And I think
to whatever journey you're on as a mom or as
just a human in general, just doing the very best
you can to be present with your circumstance and trying

(07:47):
to find the joy in your circumstances, because hey, this
is your life and you might as well and like
try to enjoy it to the best you can, even
if it's not ideal. And I think that I want
to talk to you also about make manifesting, because I
don't think anybody has to say stuff where they are.

(08:08):
I think you may be in a situation that you
know you're not happy with or you know, isn't living
your best life, or you know you have so much
more potential or dreams or desires. How would you Because
you're so good at manifesting, and we talk a lot
about manifesting, how would you what what would be some

(08:29):
first steps you would try to help someone get out
of a situation or to manifest or to like move
into a new spot if they're not happy with where
they are, Considering even how you said, like emotionally growing up,
you weren't It wasn't necessarily the upbringing that you pray
for love and so like you've sort of done that
with your own life, Like how how would you suggest

(08:49):
someone start moving in a in another direction if they're
not totally happy where they are. I know, for me,
the thing that has helped me the most is I
have a I have a strong faith, Like I'm a
I'm a no um. What is the word I'm looking for?
Seeing mom? Dementia is a real thing, Like I'm just

(09:13):
I'm a I'm a Jesus girl, And I say that
unapologetically all the time. So that is helpful for me.
There's a piece that surpasses understanding, that comes with that
that for me is the grounding force UM. And I
don't get commissioned for people being Christians, is what I
like to say. But if there is like a piece
of you that has some curiosity about what a relationship
with God is, like like I always encourage people to

(09:35):
dig a little bit into that because that's usually like
the first sign there's more for you and there's a
strong relationship, you know, like he's always there waiting. Um
the manifesting piece. So in my brain, I always make
God made the universe, and the universe works in my favor.
So that's how I can loop it all together and
make it makes sense. Because sometimes people are like, that's
a gift from the universe, and I'm like slash, you know,

(09:58):
like and or um the manifesting thing. So this is crazy.
And I just shared this with a group of girls
that I we do like some mentorship stuff with. But
it's funny to me that this is like the secret
of the secret. But you and I are very familiar
with the secret the book UM, and it's been out
for forever well. I listened to it on audio because

(10:21):
I can't sit down and read, and it honestly gets
a little repetitive for me. So every time, moms, this
might be your hack every time I do laundry. I
listened to it on audio, and Lord knows, we're living
in the laundry room, so it's name. I mean, you're
getting a lot of secret if you do it that way.
But I think the first step is to just really

(10:45):
tuning into the words of the secret. I it's so
they lay it all out there so simply. And I
don't digest well things usually on audio as well, because
I have kind of like this a d D brain,
But because it's laid out so simply in her accent,
is so fun listening to it seems to get like
do a lot for me. And I think the first

(11:08):
step is just really sitting down and getting quiet with yourself.
And I don't mind my speaking of laundry. Right on cue,
I manifested that it's a sounding I'm missing my manifesting time.
Manifesting is calling guys, you hear it um. So I
think the first step would be sit down with yourself

(11:29):
and get quiet enough to know and hear what you
really want out of life. Because laundry sings the whole song,
it really does. I wish I kept telling Preston that
I wish my husband, I wish that I could make
it be like a song like so fresh and so
clean clean or something, or like he feels like the
Manifesting song. It's kind of perfect. Really. Yeah, Preston says,

(11:50):
it sounds like British troops coming over a hill, but
that's fine. Um. I think if we sit long enough
and get quiet enough with ourselves, we know exactly what
we want deep down in our soul. That's a good point.
Like you know in your heart what your heart really wants,
how your heart really wants you to live your life.
And if you pull away all of the layers of

(12:13):
just the noise that the world or your parents, or
your family, your friends or whatever mean girls in high school,
all the things that have put on you deep down,
Oh yeah, for sure, it's like they're at the core
is a person that knows exactly what they want. And
often I think those wants in your heart are not

(12:34):
given to you unless God was going to move the
pieces to give them to you. Then I agree with
that at times a hundred I do not. I I
kind of call like the blueprint on your heart. I
think we're all born to the different blueprint, and that
blueprint is your mission and your destiny for this life,
and everyone's is different because it is what you are
meant to do in this life or what you came

(12:57):
here to do. It's the calling on your heart. I
agree with you so much. I love the blueprint thing.
And we wouldn't have been given it if we weren't
able to achieve it. But we have some All times,
it's a struggle to get there. It's never just like, oh,
here's your blueprint, let me lay it out to you
so perfectly. You're gonna have no struggles, no obstacles. They're
always gonna be obstacles and struggles, but your blueprint is

(13:19):
not by accident. But and also, don't let your biggest
obstacle be you, like oh oh oh oh like that
when I can tell by your face. Don't let your
biggest obstacle be you. Because we define ourselves by these
moments that have wrecked us or so and then we
on and we don't trust our own intuition. Intuition is everything.

(13:45):
If you and you all, everyone has it. It's just
we either allow the volume for the intuition to be
higher or we don't. And once you can strip away yourself,
like just all the lies you've told yourself, Like you
and I have talked about negative self talk and that
stuff before. Once you get to the root of who
you are, you know what you want, those things are
just there. So I say the first thing is get quiet,

(14:07):
get still, and then the second thing is just trust
that whatever is on your heart is meant for you.
Don't doubt that. You know that, and then go to
your laundry room and and really get to download The
Secret and just really start to learn what it's like.
I mean, there's time I've listened to that book. It
has to be at least a hundred times and just

(14:29):
different parts and I just kind of always play it
and it's kind of fun too you watch how it manifests.
Like the other day, I was like on this big
body image thing for myself, and I'm like, I've got
to just be kinder to my body. And so I
started writing some affirmations in the morning, and then I
went to do laundry that day and when I hit
play on the Secret, it was all about like the
weight part and you know, eating what you want and

(14:49):
enjoined food and I was like, see manifesting is working.
And also a step that I would say because I
totally agree and I love I of all this. I
have all the secrets to like in the power, and
there's like there's several books like I love it on
audio too. I think, I actually that's a great idea
to do it when you play laundry, just so you're

(15:10):
doing it on a regular basis, kind of make it
a ritual um. Something that I always look for too,
is when you don't know how you're say, you're manifesting,
you're believing in the secret, you're believing that you're calling
on your heart is meant to be, you're believing there's
more for you. You have to believe all that first,
and like you said to you can't be defined by

(15:30):
what's happened to you. I love that. The first step
that I always look for are just a tiny even
if it's just a crack of an open window, like
like you said, get still and even right down what
it is it's on your heart, even if you don't
necessarily know, even if it's just like a feeling, like
right down what you're craving, and then just look for

(15:53):
the tiniest of opportunities that flow into your life that
could start moving in that direction, and it doesn't have
to be you don't have to land on it right away.
But just like you make sense, you have to know
what you're wanting, and you have to know what your
heart is craving. So that's where you said, and I agree,
you have to get still and focus and know what
it is and then just open up your eyes to

(16:14):
look for the tiniest, tiniest, tiniest step that can move
you in that direction, and then just keep looking for
those steps and they'll kind of start to domino. I think, yeah, gratitude,
I think you're right. I do also think sometimes especially
when you're I think like nonbelievers have a harder time
with this too. Sometimes it's like, um, don't forget to

(16:37):
give gratitude for the tiny things that happen. Like if
you're it's like treasure hunt all day, like if you can,
if you can go, like even just this morning for example,
like I would say, probably not our finest morning here
at the Brass Household. There's some there's some tension revolving
around registering the car and the state of Tennessee, which

(16:58):
I feel like mean, if you don't get stressed at
the d n V. Then are you really a human?
I don't know why so painful, but it is. And
so so my husband is now taking he's taking the paperwork,
h any energy we have left, and he's in round
two because I went yesterday and I could not get
it accomplished. So that was like the lay of the
land this morning. Backing the kids lunches um and because

(17:23):
they do a little school now, which is new, and
I just was feeling anxiety and I've been working so
hard on that and I was like, okay, so much anxiety.
I just feel like I've got to call my brain down.
And I thought, Okay, once they're at school and I
come home, I'll get some quiet. That's going to be
what it is. And literally I get a text message

(17:45):
in that instance from a girlfriend. She was like, hey girl,
I love you. That's all. It's like, okay. So instead
of just being like crazy timing, I was like, thank
you God, thank you universe, thank you for moving to
my like just a moment of gratitude to really say
like that's not a coincidence. That's like one of my
little nuggets for the day. I love that, and I

(18:07):
think that that's a really really important point that you make.
Don't miss the tiniest, tiniest things that are going in
your favor, that are moving you towards what you're wanting,
the mental state you want to be in, the life
you want to be in. Like that, You've got to
have great gratitude for all of it. That's such a
good point and so easily missed, you know, especially when

(18:27):
you're I mean, honestly, especially when you're a mom. Yeah,
I mean, it's a kind of like, let's be real,
it is a It is the most beautiful, sacred, messy,
chaotic and thankless work we can do as human beings.
And it's like you have to look for all the
little things. I mean, legend and love are little kids,
and it's like they don't you know, there's like apology.

(18:50):
Languages are different, especially at different age groups, but and
just the way they express love to you is different.
It's just like that in the world, like not everything
comes to you, you know, like your love language or
gifted at your door, a delivery your flowers, or it's
it's like sometimes it's hidden in a way that you
just have to go. I'm going to take that as

(19:11):
a sign or I'm going to take that and say
thank you or you know, you've got to like in parenthood,
it all overlaps because like Legend doesn't know how to
say he doesn't know when to say he's sorry right now.
He's for a while he was saying sorry so much
that he literally that was like his default. It became
like thank you. And I was like, oh no, no,
nobody because he's just he's kind of a brute. But

(19:33):
now he like will come up to me and and
like grab my cheek and he's like pretty mama, And
I'm like, that's kind of like that to me is
almost like that's the wink, that's the universe sign, that's
the thank you in his own way, you know, absolutely.
And that's another good point you make is we're not
always going to get the signs in the winks and

(19:56):
the way that we think they should form. It's like
you're like life doesn't unfold. Like you look back on
your life and you can see all these blessings that happened,
but none of them came in the way that we
thought they should come. Like our careers haven't unfolded in
the way that we shall thought they should unfold. But
you look back and it's like, oh my god, actually
that all makes sense. The universe has a different way
of getting you to where you want. You just have

(20:18):
to be open that our brains. I mean, why would
things unfold the way that I've created them in my brain?
Like who do I think I am? Of course there's
this bigger, bigger, bigger thing at play, and I have
my desires, but like, I'm not gonna I'm not. I
don't hold a magic wand and like shape the whole world,
like so many so much energy is at play. So

(20:39):
it's like, yes, you can manifest what you are wanting,
but don't expect it to come in some way that
you haven't wrapped up in your brain. It's gonna show
up totally different, but it still is going to show up,
but you have to be aware to look for it
in the way that it's showing up, which is probably
not how you think it should show up now, and
the how is not up to So once you figure

(21:01):
out what you want, then you just have to kind
of let go and just let things move in your favor.
I also, I'm ten for ten out of every time
I have just let God move in my life. The
way that he will move and make things shift. Ten
out of ten times it is more brilliant, better and

(21:24):
fulfilling than anything I could have come up with. And
it doesn't there's no I mean, I'd like to say,
like you and I are creative people, so like I
think when our brains go and you know too, a
good spiralsposed to our bad spiral, but like we can
really start to think of some cool ways things could happen,
and he blows it out of the water every single time.

(21:45):
It doesn't even make sense. I'm just like, okay, And
every time I tried to hold the tight grip because
I think that's just a human nous kind of thing
to do. I feel anxious or tired or you know, overwhelmed,
and like ned we can feel to feed it not happening, Yes, sad,
you just get like and every single time I'm like, okay, objectively,

(22:08):
am I holding on extra tight right now? The answer
is always yes, and so I can just loosen the
grip and allow. I have this um phrase that I
have shared a lot of times, but this is where
I go when I get anxious and overwhelmed, and so
I kind of just feel like once you adopt a model.
You can have this one if you like. It's totally available,

(22:30):
but just find something that you can ground yourself in
that brings you right back to the center and is
exactly what you need to hear. So like, no matter
what my phrases, always I am loved and I am protected.
And so when things get overwhelming or you know, or
I feel sad, or I just feel like, you know,
lonely or unseen or whatever, all human things. No one's fault.

(22:53):
It's just like I have to remind myself I am
loved and protected, and all of a sudden, it's like
I am just right back and in alignment. And sometimes
I have to say it four or five times, and
sometimes I have to say it out loud. And but
whatever you're like gravity phrases, I think that's important too,
because you have to have a way to snap yourself
out of it and get yourself back to a place
of feeling secure and less overwhelmed. I love that change

(23:20):
the energy. Change the energy, man, And there's a lot
of energy that it takes to be alive, to run
a family, to to do the laundry, and even like
if you aren't married or don't have kids, or you're
looking for your one like or you're looking for your career,
or you're feeling lost. I mean you and I both

(23:40):
have been on the spectrum like, yes, we both are
married with kids and have families that we love so much,
but like I have also been on the spectrum where
feeling so lost? Is am I ever gonna have love?
Am I ever gonna end up in a career that
feels like what I'm craving in my heart? This feeling?
Am I? I don't know. I don't know if you
felt this one, but I felt so many times like

(24:00):
am I just like a waste of space and my
a loser? Is this ever going to pan out for me?
And then people look at you like when you get
your shipped together on some level it appears and they're like,
oh my god, how did they ever get there? Like
how I'll never be able to get that? So it's
like I truly have felt the full spectrum of it all,
and you just sort of, like you said, have to
trust and let go and just keep moving forward because

(24:22):
we're all going to hit all the different railroad stops
along the way. Sometimes we're gonna be like I am
freaking killing it like life is awesome, and then other
times we're gonna be like what in the world. I
feel that, like, let's go back to like two thousand
one year was really killing it because it's been a while.
I'm like, oh yeah, killing it when what were those
days like? But also it's perspective because I feel like

(24:45):
you are killing it, like to someone outsider perspective. You
have a marriage to a country music star, like he
just had another number one, Preston Bruss, he's in low cash.
You have a podcast that you just launched. Was it
has it been a year yet? Coming up? You're actually
getting the logo for our birthday almost a year. You've
been dreaming of launching this for so long and then

(25:07):
you did it and Kristen we brust and you're having
amazing episodes and it's fulfilling your soul. I mean, you
have great friends, You've built a great mom squad, you
have two precious children, you have a beautiful home. You know,
it's like, if you look at it from outsiders perspective,
you have so much going on that's amazing. I do
think though, like it's crazy. I mean I feel like

(25:30):
when I finally get you know, when I get out
of all my feelings and once a month those feelings
get really intense. But I feel like it's the comparison
is the FIFA joy thing is massive. Um, I think
social media is really really hard on everyone. Um. And
I I feel a little blessed in the fact that

(25:52):
like my real social media launch, if you will, like
my real like all of a sudden started gaining followers,
came out of such a vulnerable space, and I talked
about the loss of our second baby that like I've
been so real that my followers are the freaking best,
like just genuine good people, and and really, I don't know,

(26:13):
I think like enjoy the real rawness of it. Like
that's why like I always love I mean, I love
you period. I again want to curl up in your lap.
But like we're all just like there's this group of
us kind of like changing the tone too of social
media that it is just a little more raw, a
little more real, so that you can not feel like
you have to nail it, you know. Like I was
doing Live from the half bath when we were potty

(26:33):
training love, and I was like, hey, here I am
again on the bathroom and we are not nailing it
like we cannot figure this out. I mean I have
like what I would like to think is like this
very intuitive, gifted, wonderful, beautiful child, don't we all, And
it's like she just doesn't seem to be able to
figure out when to go pee on the potty. So
what am I missing here? You know? But I think

(26:54):
like when you said, even when you're having the bad
days and stuff, it's like you've all been defeated. And
so I call him valley pullers. But it's like some
days we're on the mountaintops. Sometimes we're in the valley.
But if you're on the mountaintop, like to an extent
where you can lend your energy, like going into the
valley and pulling someone up is probably one of the

(27:15):
most important things because that's how we just keep each
other moving. Like I'll get moms that right, and they're
just like I feel like I suck. I feel like
you you know, like I just wanted to say thank
you today for saying that, you know, legend wrote on
your wall or whatever. I mean, the kid is all feral,
so like something the guy needs an indoor helmet. It's

(27:37):
really a little actually you should put it a helmet
on him, like you should just have him wear one
all the time. It's really intense. He has these two
year old ideas, so like a pretty toddler baby ish ideas,
but then he has this like massive body that can
execute them seamlessly or not so seamlessly. So it's just

(27:57):
like one big I just saving himself. I literally saved
him from himself all day until he goes to bed.
That's my only job. But you know, like when you
just say I'm not doing well or I feel sad
or I feel anxious, like people are so ready for that. Everyone.
That's why we were created to do life together, humanness,

(28:18):
you know, like listen, I love Jessica Simpson, Dave Ramsey,
Dave Chappelle. I mean I watched these people and think, okay,
sometimes like they just got it all together or what's
it like or you know, But then I think there's
people that think, like I have full time Nanni's oh girl,
we're only a little bit fancy. Like it's called low

(28:39):
cash for a reason. You know, Like what do you
like maybe we've manifested in our own demise when it
comes to that. But it's like once you just realize
everyone's just doing the best they can and no one's
nailing it. Life just doesn't seem so competitive, and it
just seems a little bit easier. And you know, when
I can reach out to you and just say, hey,
I feel really sad today and I just need you,

(29:02):
and you're like, Okay, what's going on? You know, it's
like years to hear we were gifted to be able
to support each other and keep each other afloat in
this life. And I love that that you said that
about the social media real and I do agree that
there are there are a lot of us who we

(29:22):
have gotten some little bit of influence and some followers
who are amazing. But it's like I feel a responsibility
to Yes, I do have moments where am I glammed
up and rocking it and feeling like a million bucks? Sure?
But then other times, like most of the time, am
I literally covered from head to toe and cheese puffs

(29:44):
and milk and chasing sunning around and feeling exhausted and
feeling like I'm for me? I struggle with like food,
I'm a terrible cook, so like, am I giving her
enough nutrients? All these other moms are doing gourmet stuff,
like you know, it's just like all these things you
can compare your journey to and it's like, at the
end of the day, you've got to share where you're struggling,

(30:05):
or like lately, like I've been really struggling with the
people pleasing because I felt like I was just letting
friends down by not being a good enough friend, or
like talking about one person that I loved what they
did with their business, and then realizing that by talking
about one and supporting one and maybe wasn't supporting another.
You know, just like trying to do it all and

(30:27):
do it all well and then accidentally dropping the ball
in places, and it's like those can be moments that
are really hard to deal with, but it's like you've
got to share the ugly parts or or like you're
just having a bad day, or like you said, you
got in the fight rosing over the d m V.
I mean, it's like you've got to share that kind
of stuff because otherwise social media, I feel like it

(30:48):
can be a wonderful tool, but it is so toxic,
and so I think it's our responsibility to show the
real side also, and I well, I do think we
owe it to ourselves to be well whole human beings
and take care of ourselves. And I think when our

(31:09):
self care oxygen mask on ourselves before assisting others becomes
less important, we all of a sudden, social media gets
magnified in our brain. So like there's times where I've
just had to take myself off, like not being invited
to something or you know, it's it does hurt. And
I always think of our younger, like younger sweet little babies,

(31:32):
like these teenagers that like, you know, if you were
invited to something, you may be found out through the
rumor mill, but like now it's just so blasted in
your face, and so I think, like just really, it
goes back to being still with yourself. It goes back
to trusting yourself, like comes back to knowing like I know,
like I know, like I know, I act out of
integrity and love, like I operate out of those two things.

(31:53):
I am. I am so intentional that if I make
a mistake and hurt someone's feelings, which is bound to
happen at some point, has happened, I just have to go,
I'm sorry, and I would never intentionally do that, and
I have to hope that the person I'm talking to
knows enough about me to go she would never intentionally
do that, and if probably not your people. I hate

(32:16):
to say it as bluntly as that, but it's like
anyone that's been in a season of chaos or defeat
or just living life can typically a healthy person can
find the grace and that and be able to meet
you with the grace and mercy that you need to
be able to kind of like go, let's get back,
let's get this back on track. And we have to
give each other grace because, like you said, we all

(32:37):
have so many balls spinning in the air. We're all
trying as best we can do just stay afloat and
stay present and the best we can in our own
little ecosystem. And we want to be great friends and
we want to be great to everyone. But like we're
gonna drop the ball. It's going to happen. And you
pray that the people that you accidentally hurt their feelings

(32:58):
know that you did not mean it, like it was not.
Like the last thing I want to do is stir
up some drama in my life. I do not want
any of that. Oh my god, that where's the time
to pee alone? I don't have time to support out
drama like me Sundays with me every single time I
pee on my lap with stuff animals. Yeah, And I
just it's like, I really do think it's just super

(33:20):
important to to just take good care of yourself. And
and really I said, I've been in a self care mode.
But it's like, and by self care, I mean I
put my kids in a two day week program so
that I could just breathe in the house with some quiet.
But we've just got to trust ourselves enough to know

(33:40):
that we were wanting to be better humans and we're
trying our best. And and you said something else a
minute ago that I was like, oh, I have I
have to mention that, because you were like to me,
you have it, like you're stunning, You've got it together,
Like you and Michael have this great marriage. You know.
It's like it's everyone's outside. I also don't think it's

(34:02):
such a bad thing. It gets kind of a negative
connotation sometimes, but it's like sometimes it's okay for us
to like just think the best of those people because
they probably need us to. Everyone needs someone that thinks
they're nailing it. You know, Like I'm not sure who
that is my life other than you, but I'm not
nailing it. I am. I am far from nailing it.

(34:22):
I mean I literally Caroline texted me this morning was like, hey,
are we still good for today? And I was like, yeah,
just wrap it up a fight with my husband, be
there in fifteen. Like it's just like that's just real life.
And I don't know. I I wish that the world
gave grace, but I think we just have to start,
one single person at a time. I'm trying to remind

(34:45):
people and myself more lately that like, let us not forget,
folks that we are living in a pandemic so gollly
g I mean living. I love Michael more than anything
in the world. We've been together retaining years, but like
when you were with someone all the time, it is
like being with by the way, like our husbands were

(35:07):
gone on the road constantly. You have you since you've
been very depressed it y'all haven't had this much time together. Ever,
How are you navigating that? I mean, I will I
try to remind everyone right now and like, listen, we're
living through history. We do not have to thrive through history,
like you just need to live through it. Make some
pressure off yourself yes, there's things are changing. A lot

(35:30):
of things are shifting for the good. We needed that
to happen. But like, also, maybe this isn't the time
to do a deep dive into couples therapy. Like maybe
right now it's just like let's stay surface level and
working as a team, you know, instead of like every
single problem we've ever had for all my life. The
spare time could just be to like organize the closet.

(35:50):
Doesn't have to be necessarily to like go back and
do some intensive couple's work. But okay, man, like just
right now we need to just focus. I will say,
like he is usually on the road. I mean the
first year our daughter was born January five and January eleventh,
he took off. And his song that year also took off.
That was his first big hit and he was gone

(36:12):
like over two hundred and sixty days that year, and
the song was I Love this Life, which is so fitting. Yeah,
so please download and send our kids to college. Um,
shameless plugs all over this place. We're just trying to
make it. But it's crazy because we've literally like I
don't do life, like the first week, I don't do

(36:33):
life with him. So the first week. I was like, here,
this is where we keep the spoons. My name's Kristen,
and welcome to orientation. You know, you also got married
really quickly to Mary quickly and pregnant quickly. We've done
everything quickly, like I don't, it's crazy. So it is
weird to like live with each other and be doing
like parenting with each other. And I'm so I'm fiercely

(36:58):
independent and yeah, so I've had to really do some
work on myself during the last like eight months and
go okay. You know, I would just take the trash
down and he would be like I could take the
trash to the curb and I was like, I know,
but I can too, and he's like, but I'm home
and I can do that. And so I've had to
like go okay. It's a weird shift from having to
be like the husband and the wife of the mom

(37:19):
and the dad all the time to just like I
can just be a wife and a mom for a minute,
you know. But we're we're still married. I mean, I
gotta tell you, for a while, the country music industry
look like we were all dropping like flies. I was like,
you read a headline next day, another headline and I
was like, it's crazy when you're used and designed a
whole life around not really being with each other. You know,

(37:43):
like it takes. It's so strong in some areas because
it takes a massive amount of trust, a different kind
of level of communication to sustain these marriages. But what
it doesn't take is cleaning toilets up after everyone and
getting no help and watching people drink hot coffee while
you chase two kids around him. Just speaking hypothetically here.

(38:04):
So we're like really learning how to do life together.
But I think we I think the world is learning
how to do life together right now. For the first time,
we've all had to slow down. Yeah, like as a
as a world, we're finally seeing each other and acknowledging
struggles and acknowledging like some broken systems. I mean that

(38:27):
is like global and then all the way down to
inside our four walls. You know, I know, it's a lot.
It's a lot. The world is really shaking it up.
It's like, okay, um, it can't be just business as
usual everyone. Things have got to change. I'm shutting the
world down down. Yeah, I was. We all got grounded.

(38:49):
God sent us to our houses and was like you
go to your room and you figure some stuff out
and it's hard to like, you know, then you just
think of even like one level, it's like if you
have your health, you have everything. But then you think
about just the fact that financially, like I know y'all
have felt this too, Like we are primarily touring income house,
so take that away from us. And I mean we

(39:12):
were on the phone with a realtor month one, like
do we need to sell? Like tell us where we
need to start figuring some things out because it gets
really overwhelming really fast. And it's just crazy how much
we all had and took. I mean, I don't think
I don't think specifically us took for granted because I
think you and I've always been grateful. But man, it's

(39:33):
another prime example of loosening your grip because I remember
even saying to you at one point, we did not
have time as a family, like it is not sustainable
to live like this. The four of us are never together,
like I mean, it would be weeks and countdowns and
he's in Australia and I'm making some countdown on the
fridge and we're putting a sticker every morning and how
many more sleeps, and it's like that some of that

(39:56):
is just the business, but then there's just somewhere I'm like,
we need time him. Well, I would have never shut
down the whole world, but God moved some things. So
we've gotten months together we've never had. I mean, before March,
our longest run together at home was two weeks. We've
never so how Love and Legend responded to this, They're obsessed.

(40:21):
We have a really honestly, I'll say this, we do
have a pretty fun household. Like President I kind of
sometimes are like it's kind of like we keep waiting
for our parents to come home, like kind of feel
like we're just doing like you know, it's like movie
night and sleepovers and all this. It's kind of probably
I don't know that they get fine. It's perfect. It's love.

(40:42):
It's so love, and it's so you know, he came
from this amazing house of He had a preacher dad
and a homemaker mom and she's so creative. Ari I yah,
she's a good one. So he's just got this next
level creativity and like Yolo about life. I bring some
rules to the table because I just think structure is
probably be okay for them. But like they have just

(41:03):
loved you know. The first two weeks he was off
the road, she would say every single day when she
would wake up, are you leaving today? Do you leave
in the dark tonight? Are you it's the bus leaving tonight?
Like you just checked every single day. And then after
two weeks she just kind of was like Dad as
home and he had to do a couple of things

(41:24):
last week and he was gone, and it was like,
how many sleeps will be he be gone? I said,
just one sleep. She got up that next morning and
she was like, good morning, Mama, do you know what
today is? Dad has coming home? Why does this? We
just want to cry because is that a blessing? Like
the careers are such a blessing, and everybody has their
blessings and their struggles within their lives. But that is

(41:44):
the blessing and the struggle of this industry is you
get to witness your spouses do amazing things and like
fulfilled dreams. But then it is a sacrifice of time
being gone. And I know a lot of people and
other industries deal with that too, and it's it's a
hard it's a hard payoff sometimes. But I can't imagine
we talk about military all the time here. I just

(42:08):
I have such a deep gratitude for I mean, listen,
I've even said I've even said this to you. There's
times where I'm like, I wish he was doing something
that felt a little more credible, like saving my country,
because I send him off to be surrounded in crop
tops and booty shorts and I'm like, wait, so what
are you doing again? But I want to say, music
does heal? And I think music is so important. It

(42:29):
just is. And I think we've seen how vital it
is to all of us, Like it makes me emotional.
But it's like this year we have missed all of that.
I know people need outlets to go, let go and
to get lost in music. I'm meeting out like out
of here. I mean, I'm listening to the Secret and

(42:50):
doing laundry. Does anyone want to throw me a bone?
I'm like, really honest, it's crazy. But that's how it
feels with music, is like it might have felt like
it was something that was just like sure, but like
when you get locked down, we've all been grounded, Like
we all all of us, how much do we just
need to go and let our hair down and dance
and feel alive to music and get reset and to

(43:11):
forget about all the struggles and the hardships and to
have some like music that connects to our soul and
reminds us while we're alive and reminds us who we are.
And it's like you've got to have that, Like it's
so important, and it feels like it's not necessary sometimes
or it's like I said extra, but it's not. It's
you know, like honestly, I'm sitting talking to you in
the house that music built, which is incredible to me

(43:33):
and Preston I met because of music. Like I had
a love for country music and I can't sing at all,
so literally like I was on the label side or
the radio side, but it's all for music. And it's
crazy even in this house to watch like we have
a music room and it's got like some expensive equipment

(43:53):
in it and we just the kids, I mean legends
walking around with a microphone. I don't even know how
much it costs, but it's intense. But he has always
walks around in Preston never says a thing because he's
just like they need to feel that, they need to
know that when we have I'll be honest. When we
have tough days here, like the dance party is what
breaks it up for us. We just get I just

(44:13):
bluetooth in and I'm like, okay, we got work to do,
and we just shake it or dance or whatever. And
it's like music is everything. It just is in all
of us so innately that it's so cool to me
to watch how it brings us all back together. And
I think we miss I know Preston misses the road
because I'm sure he misses sleeping in and you know

(44:37):
a lot of other things. Um, And there's gotta be
some validation there that is good for him, because I
mean I asked him. I actually a month two I said,
would you like to stand on the counter and like sing?
And I can stand down here with a crop toop
on and just make out eyes like are you missing that?
Do you need? Like? What can I do to help you?
But I do really think like the world so we

(45:01):
just are better together. I know they keep saying that
now it's become like this hashtag, but it's like, gosh,
when we were that's how you and I met, you know,
it didn't even make sense. Now we live like twenty
minutes away. I mean, you're freaking in the delivery room.
But it started in Indie from me flying in from
Kansas City from Nashville. Like all because of music, I know.

(45:21):
So tell me about your podcast and Kristen we Brust
and tell me what is the central theme of it?
Because you share a lot of like you said, the
real real, like how you like to be vulnerable and
share your truth on Instagram. You do that also on
your podcast, So talk to me about it. Um. So,
I've always been a writer and I really love writing,
but I've realized there's some comedic timing that gets lost

(45:42):
when you can't say things writing them. So um, essentially
what started it is just realizing that not everyone is
as lucky as we are to have such a good
girlfriend group. And when I really started, like I have
true love confessions about my people on Instagram. So it's

(46:03):
like social media just you know, celebrating each other's victories.
And I I feel so lucky because I feel like
I've always had a sense of that and not everybody does.
So I designed what I call the Girlfriend's Girlfriend's Podcast,
and it is just like nothing is off the table
to talk about. Um, there's a place for everyone. Everybody
has a seat at our table and no one left

(46:26):
behind is basically the idea. So we've talked like I
had a three part mean Girl series where I brought
my friend Amy and who's a therapist, and we talked
through like, you know, the Regina George complex and what
that is and why people are that way and recovering
mean girls. It's just like we it's just been really
it's been really good for me, and it's been especially

(46:49):
I guess it's been healing to feel like you get
to a certain point in life where you're like, why
have I gone through so many things? Or why what's
you know, like you just get kind of tired, and
when you when I created in Kristen we Brust, it
feels like there's finally a reason for all the things,
for all the heartache, for all the loss, for you know,

(47:10):
for the way I grew up, just to be able
to share and grab somebody's hand and be like we've
got this, We're in it together. We is a powerful word,
and I think when I made it, I just had
like it's interesting that it's in Kristen we Brush because
it's just kind of like whatever it's just a plan
on whord. It's because you know, I'm corny like that,
but like he matters to me because it just means

(47:31):
no one feels alone. So that that's the whole goal.
We talk about it all This month is like or
October will be. It's just centered all around like infant loss, miscarriage,
you know, infertility really anchoring there because of how many
people have gotten from losing the baby, you know, and
you're really honest with that, with that part, that chapter

(47:54):
of your life. And I mean I also share that
with you, and like miscarrying and UM, tell me how
that has changed you. Oh well, this is the instant
tears usually, UM always tears. It's okay, I'm gonna cry,
tore man. It's it's so crazy. It's like I tell

(48:15):
people all of the time, how it's incredible how someone
you never met changes your entire life. Um, it just
was really it was just hard. I mean we we
we lost it twelve weeks and we you know, I
just held I think my body held on a lot
longer than it should have, just because my mind, the

(48:38):
mind is such a powerful thing, and I had convinced
myself that I you know that it just was gonna
be we were just going to devide all the odds
and that we were just going to prove everyone wrong.
And like, I just adore medical professional so much, but
sometimes I just love it when God just comes in
in trumps and just shows people you know, um, but

(48:59):
again not my plan and so um we it's it's
just changed everything for me. I I think I got
like I think I got like seventeen of the twenty
one thousand followers or something from sharing I lost a baby.
It sucked and I'm still not okay with it. And

(49:19):
it was like they came out of the woodwork, like
no one talks about this, and you know, I feel
alone or I you know, I think I hate my
husband or I think I hate my mother in law
because they weren't there for me. It's just like it's crazy.
This one little person who I've never met is just

(49:40):
changed everything, my whole direction. Um and it's not lost
to me either. Love is a Capricorn, legend is a Leo.
And then our little middle one, baby Lion as we
refer to our middle one. We didn't find out if
it was bored a girl. Um was due to be
a Leo but went to Heaven a Capricorn. So it's

(50:01):
like I have these three little souls that I've mothered
in some way or another, and they all are just
kind of like it's this sweet little package of Leo
lionheartedness and Capricorn tenacity. You know, parenthood is hard and um, yeah,

(50:25):
it's just I never understood. I never understood like the
pain of miscarrying until I actually like went through it.
Also because I was just thought, well, I don't know why,
I just I mean, I just hadn't thought about it.
I guess you didn't think it was so emotional as
it is. I would have never known. I mean I
remember jam when I found out, they were like, um,

(50:48):
the first visit, they were like you could just tell,
you know, they questioned the conception date, and I'm pretty
a type, so I knew everything and you could just
tell like the doubt and then my doctor like gently
kind of preparing me for like the idea of a

(51:08):
miscarriage in the first visit, which I was like, it
was like weird to me that she I don't I
remember just feeling like why is she even saying this?
Like this is off? It didn't feel sturdy. Yeah, I
was like why is why would you even mention that,
like we're busy, we're gonna this baby is gonna be fine,
you know. And then you just like the second visit,

(51:29):
there's there's no heartbeat and you're and so that's just it,
you know. And I remember like getting in the car,
it was almost like a blackout, Like I just wanted
to be alone. Like I just kept remembering wanting to
get to my car. I just wanted to be alone
and just cry. And I just like we had brought

(51:50):
love in with us because we were like this is
when you see a heartbeat, you know. Like I just
all of it was too much and it was like
I just wanted to get to my car. I wanted
to be alone, and I just wanted to cry and
ended up calling Janna um. He was a friend of ours,
Janna Kramer, and I said she has also been open
about suffering miscarriages and loss. Yeah. I I just was

(52:13):
like I don't know what to do. I remember one
of the visits was the visit where we decide then
how I will lose the baby, which was like, oh
I w I mean, just do I wait to have
it for it to happen naturally? Which is essentially your
body is just a time bomb. It can happen at
any time, and you can't care for your kids. Um
and I had one toddler, or or I could schedule

(52:37):
a d n C and just do it that way.
Um And I just called her and I was just bawling,
and I was like, how do I pick how to
lose my baby? And she was like, you know, I mean,
she just was such a good friend. But like I
think about that, even like God, I would do anything

(52:58):
to meet that person. Like the strength of friendship and
love that I have because I didn't get to meet
that person is insane. Like Janna and I had always
been friends, but it was like in that moment where
it just went like deep and you know, you just

(53:19):
it's crazy. I always just try to think, like your baby,
my baby, A millions of other babies that didn't get
to live here, like are all together and for some
reason that just makes me feel so good. And when
I met Legend being a rainbow baby, there was a
lot of anxiety around that, around carrying him. Um And

(53:41):
because we are in the public eye, we had to
do a c m S and so I had to
announce because it didn't look like a party girl body anymore.
It looked like a baby, um, and we were about
to walk the carpet, so we had to announce. And
that's just the amount of anxiety that came with that,
because you just don't feel like you ever get to
keep a baby after you lose, you know, and so

(54:01):
I don't. I was able to go through it without
the public the first time, you know, um, no one
really knew. So it's it's intense because now having legend,
I remember when I was delivering him, I couldn't wait

(54:22):
to just see his eyes. I kept saying to Preston,
I just need to see this baby's eyes. And we
didn't know if he was a boy or a girl,
but I remember knowing that I was going to see
eyes that knew what baby Lyon looked like and knew
what Jesus looked like, and I it was gonna be
the only person that I would get to see on
this side that already had seen that side. And I

(54:43):
was like waiting for his eyes, like my little ring
of baby. And the minute he came out, they laid
him on me and like it was surreal, Like I'm
probably too emotional for this today, but it wasn't It
was intense. I feel like he delivered his message. Then
he closed his eyes, then he cried, and then he

(55:05):
started life like special. Parenthood is a ship show and
amazing and just so many things, but it is you forever.
I relate to you so much with feeling like you'll
never get to like actually carry a baby once you've
lost like that. I had so much anxiety, was sunny,

(55:29):
so much anxiety, like I stopped exercising. I barely like
I barely moved like I could. I just was so afraid.
I mean I wouldn't walk in stuff. I didn't barely move,
but like I just I was so afraid, like if
a dog jumped on me that like it was gonna
like killer, or you know, if I laid wrong, or
if she couldn't feel like it just the whole time,
I was just like plagued by anxiety. You're like, oh

(55:53):
my gosh, I'm yeah, if you'd be telling me even
if you've hated it, like the hat it long enough
like and oh it's it's intense, but it's interesting because
it's like it never ends. I mean, honestly, the worry.
I have always been a warrior by nature. But just
like it's I think to me again, like to circle

(56:16):
it back. It's like you have to have faith in
something bigger than you. You have to feel like life,
the universe, air, energy, loved ones are all moving on
your behalf. Like you have to get into some safe
place of like real knowing and feeling in your soul
because it is there's so many variables, especially once you

(56:39):
become a parent, that are just so not in your
control that it's like you have to have a grounding
place I am loved and protected. You have to have
whatever that is for you to go back to and
just remind yourself. It's also weird because you feel like
all of a sudden you have to be like really
good at it um right, and like, honestly the first

(57:00):
six months too. Now I feel like I have the
hang of it with Sunny because now we're like, well,
you know, she's a little human and stuff, but like
not the hang of it, like I understand it now.
The first six months I felt like I needed a manual.
I needed so much help. I needed someone to tell
me how to do everything from eating to sleeping to
how have a do your breastfeed? Like when do they
need a nap? Like, what in the world am I going?

(57:21):
What I do? Like I don't feel like anyone knows
how to do it now. I call it the foreign
exchange student space, where you kind of all feel like
you might speak this, like you could kind of gain
the language, but you're not really sure and no one's
really communicating. It's just really overwhelming, and it's not any
less overwhelming the second time. It's because you just worry

(57:43):
in different ways. But I the one piece of parenting
advice I give every single person, and you know no
one likes parentine advice is literally that you were given
this person because you, as you are, your gut, instinct,
your intuition, everything is more than enough for the human
you've been gifted. So all you have to do is
trust your gut. Like if something feels off, it feels off.

(58:06):
And this has been my parenting advice, the only thing
I will say to someone for five years now, because
I really feel like instinctually you know and you're connected,
and if it feels wrong, it is wrong and it
doesn't have to make sense to anyone else but you.
We pulled Love out of a school, We tried her
in a preschool there was an incident. I just did

(58:28):
not no matter what they did, to like rectify the
situation and not feel good, and she was out. And
it's it's like you don't have to explain it or
apologize for your gut instinct. It's one of the most
empowering things, you know, Like you you like to think
you're nailing it, but like really in life, and that's
why you're like able to become a parent or you
know you can take on the responsibility. But like I've

(58:51):
learned more about myself and and healed more parts of
myself being a parent than I ever knew could even
be possible. Like the empowerment and the feeling like you
speak on behalf and are responsible for people is so
it's such a powerful thing, Like I don't care what
anyone thinks. If it's not good for my babies, we
are not doing it. Next Like it's I've never been

(59:13):
that assertive in something or that. And it's because I
actually was talking to my sister about this the other day.
You it is like she's the best. It is like
you you have to find it in yourself to be
assertive and to step up, because if you actually don't
step up when you have a gut instinct that says no,

(59:35):
that could be a moment that impacts your child negatively
for the rest of their life. And if you knew
it in your gut and I'm not saying things aren't
gonna happen, that we we can't control it all, like
stuff is out of our control. But if you have
a gut instinct that says no and you ignore it
and something happens, you knew it, You knew it that
it was a no, and you ignored it because whatever

(59:57):
factors involved in the world that you're letting override your
gut instinct, like you have to step up for your kids,
you have to. And I feel that same way because
I am not that kind of person. I might go
with the flow. I kind of want everyone else to
make the decisions, like I want to people please all
day long. But it's like no, I have to say
no if I feel it in my gut for Sonny,

(01:00:17):
even if it makes me so uncomfortable, you have to
do it. It's crazy, though, like how it's all so
well designed, like universally, you know, like just people like
you and I wouldn't normally say we would just go
okay and like kind of go with it, or you know,
if it's like like big injustices. We obviously never have.

(01:00:39):
We've been pretty you know, there's been a couple of
peoph were both like, actually I don't like that, and
you're like yeah, you or you know, like we we
kind of like I feel like we're good about that stuff.
But it's a really beautiful, divinely invented process that you
actually become more whole of yourself when you're responsible for

(01:01:00):
someone else. Yeah, it's like, gosh, characteristics I wish I
would have had ten years ago. I love, you know,
and like and and now to say like actually we're
not going to do that, or we're not going to
be involved in this friendship anymore. We're gonna put some
boundaries up because we need to do what's best for
our family. Is the most powerful, enlightening things I've ever

(01:01:22):
done for myself. I couldn't agree more. And it's made
me such a such a stronger version of myself, that's
for sure, Like because where I used to doubt myself
and I still do doubt myself, but it's really had
it's made me have to shape up because I gotta
I gotta know who what I stand for, what I
stand for with Stunny, who what I'm going for in

(01:01:43):
this life, Like I can't be wishy washy because it
really matters. And these little children are looking to us
as their guides, as you said, and it's like it's
my responsibility to have a sense of knowing and if
I know something in my gut, I have to just
doubt on that and it's it's made me have to
step up for sure. So I agree with you. So

(01:02:05):
I want to talk to you. Okay, yeah, wrap it up,
wrap that up, and I want to talk to you
all day long, but I'm gonna have to wrap up
the podcast sadly, even though we could literally talk all day.
I was just gonna say that part of that podcast
for me was leaving something for love because I feel
like my kids can listen to their dad saying and
do his talent for the rest of their lives some somehow,

(01:02:26):
some way, and they when you said like I have
to kind of like know where I'm going or what
I'm doing, I felt that so strongly, especially when you
just said it, because it's been like, you know, as
a mom, you really always struggle with like should I
take time away from them to do something or you know, like,
am I being selfish? Like mom? Gil's just such a

(01:02:48):
real thing. And it's like I just got to a
point where I'm like, I want her to see me
doing what I love because I think there's nothing greater
and more powerful in the entire world than a woman
doing what she knows she was made to do. Preach it.
And I feel that same way. You and I are
both raising little girls, and I I know you feel

(01:03:12):
this way for love because you just said this, But
I feel the same way for Sonny. Like she I
can already tell Sonny has big ideas, She's got massive dreams.
She is like curious and determined and like wanting to
do stuff. Like what am I going to tell her?
You grow up and you throw all those dreams away. No,
you keep your dreams going and you can figure it

(01:03:32):
all out. You can figure out how to do all
that's in your heart, Like you don't have to sacrifice,
and you can find the way to have your dreams
come true also, and you have to And I think
you being that example is so important and I feel
like I feel the same way, like I want Sonny
to see that, like I am her mom and I
love her more than anything, and she is my number

(01:03:53):
one over everything. But I still I still have my
dreams and I'm still I'm still pursuing what's my my
what I feel my talents are, and what my purposes,
and I'm finding the way to do it where it
works for my life. And I love that you said that.
I couldn't agree with you more. We make generation by
generation the knowing and the trusting of ourselves, in our daughters,

(01:04:19):
in our sons. I mean, the world needs a lot
more good men, that's for sure too. So I don't
take that responsibility lately at all, but especially when it
comes to love, because I can relate to her. It's
probably why I feel like it's such an important thing.
It's like if if sunnies, if the sunnies and the
loves and the birdies and the you know of the

(01:04:41):
world can all learn a better trusting of themselves than generationally.
We are pushing this race in a way better the
human race, I mean, in a way better direction and
and creating a way more compassionate world. And we're showing
that women are so capable because like our generation, like

(01:05:01):
even our mother's generation, they were beginning to like have
have their pursuits and their dreams and like, but it
was still a fight to get there. Like our generation. Yes,
women can have their dreams and we are absolutely given
all sorts of opportunities, but it's still such a struggle.
Like I feel we are trying to pave the way
for like our kids, but it's not going to be

(01:05:24):
like this huge Oh my god, I have to like
be a mom or have a job or I don't
know how to mesh them both together. Like women and
our generation are even paving the way. Like April Tom
and I just interviewed her. She's created she has an
all women she's an interior Designer's amazing. She's an all
woman workforce who works for her. All of them, a

(01:05:46):
lot of them are moms. She gives them like personal
hours so that they can she can. You can be
a mom and yet if you need to go to
your child's game, or if you need to go get
a hair appointment to have self care or whatever, you
don't have to explain it or feel guilty or feel
like you have to sacrifice being a mom to be
a great worker. Like you can do it. Both, and
I feel like that's what we're trying to do, right

(01:06:06):
at least in my mind, this wave of women. It's
like we all have these towns with all these gifts.
We want to work, we want to pursue them, but yeah,
we also want to be a great mom. So like,
why do we have to pick either or why can't
we work them all together? Why do you have to
have a nine to five work our schedule? Why can't
it be a fluid work schedule where when the kids
go to bed, you do to work at night, Like
why does it have to be this set old schedule.

(01:06:28):
We can come up with something new where you can
do it all. You don't have to feel like you're
sacrificing or guilty. I mean, of course that's always going
to come and play when you have a lot on
your plate, but it just doesn't have to be the
way it was, you know. We can come up with
new ways and be more effective, yeah, and just live
a more purposeful life. Like I tell Preston all the time,

(01:06:49):
I'm like, if Adam was enough, like God wouldn't have
dropped even there. And by the way, if if it
wasn't for Eve and Im would just be naked and
hungry in the garden, like it's a mess, like you know,
like we need each other and I don't. It's it's
very much in our household, like it's not man hate nation,
you know. I do take the responsibility of growing a
man for this world so intense because it's it's a

(01:07:13):
huge responsibility to legend I don't like his wife already,
and he's only two, so that's gonna be hard for me.
But I do feel like I can shape him understand,
like feelings are okay. And it's we have such a
responsibility to raise these babies in a way that they
can just see a more whole view with less crazy lenses.

(01:07:36):
And I mean we, I mean I believe children are
a future. I mean, you want to put that song
in here, but it's it's really a it doesn't have
to be that we gave up all of ourselves to
push a generation forward. We learning to be whole ourselves,
I think helps show them. I grew up with a

(01:07:58):
lot of do as I say, not as I do you,
and so in my house and our house, my slogan
is just like to keep operating in a way where
like actions and words are always matching so that it
can just build a real strong foundation and you don't
have to wonder what you're next, Like you know it
because you've seen it and it's what your example has

(01:08:19):
been and it's how you've been raised. Feel If you
feel sad, you cry, and that's okay, and we'll just
make space for you to cry. If you feel angry,
you're not going to hit your sister, but we're figuring
out ways where we're like trying to move him, you know,
Like I think talk it through, Like let's get to
the core root of why you're angry, and let's like
express your feelings and you don't have to do it

(01:08:41):
through violence, but instead not that like kid hitting. I mean,
they're not trying to be violent, they just don't know
how to express themselves. But it's like you can express
your feelings, like let's actually talk about it, not just
like ground you you know, and I do. I mean,
I just think I need that for myself, Like I
need to say I feel sad and it's okay to cry.
I mean there's times where I don't even allow myself
to feel something because I'm like, okay, come on, Kristen,

(01:09:03):
be a little tougher, you know whatever. It's just like
if everyone just be a little more gentle with everyone,
I think we would be in a way better position.
But women are magical, empowering, great creatures that are absolutely
essential for existence and all the ways logistically, But there's
something that we have that's a superpower and I just

(01:09:23):
never want us to lose it. So that's why I
raise try to raise good babies. That's why I'm trying
to raise good podcast content. That's why I'm obsessed with you,
Like it all comes down to the kind of that
for me. Well, I also just was on my friend,
um it's her handle is so Sara, and and she
just launched a podcast called Amen Sister Fred. And she
said like she's been wanting to launch this podcast for

(01:09:45):
a long time, but then she like, you know, like
the imposter syndrome crept in It's like who am I
to do this? Like why should I do this? Like
because she's all inspiring and trying to give you like
inspo for your week and everyone should check that podcast
out to you by Amen Sister Fred. It's so good. Um,
but it's like I told her and not the same
thing I'm telling you, And the same thing I tell
myself and the same thing I'm telling all my friends.
Like our friend Lanny Crowder just launched something life in

(01:10:07):
the weak field, which you're you and her have the
same vision, which kind of helped her grow into this
this amazing Bible study she's doing virtually, so you should
follow that too. But I'm like anyone who is putting
goodness out there, who is spreading light, who was trying
to help others feel not alone, especially and the social
media platform that is overruled by comparison, feeling like we

(01:10:30):
don't look good enough, like our lives aren't good enough,
like everything isn't comparing. If you are creating a space
to spread light and love and the feeling of we
are all in this together, and then shine on like
we have got to support each other to do that
because it is needed and we need more light workers

(01:10:51):
to be flooding these platforms so people don't just get
lost in this abyss of like depression because they can
never match up, they can never compare. It's like we
got to just like shine that light bright to try
to try to keep the dark light. You know, it's
important make your own rules, don't be afraid to pave away,

(01:11:12):
don't be afraid to follow your gut and trust yourself.
Like gosh, we were given intuition is such an amazing
guest and every single person has it. Sometimes we've just
gotten lost in the noise that we've collected from the
world and we forget how to listen to it. But
that intuition is a direct connect. So I love that
we're special breed of people. Women I do, but women

(01:11:37):
I agree, Okay, So I always wrap up and leave
your light. And obviously this has been one heck of
an inspoke conversation. So everything has been very light oriented here.
But what do you want people to know? Mm hmm,
they're not alone. I think loneliness does things to people,
and it makes walls get tighter, and spaces get less

(01:11:59):
air and more dark and just whatever it is. There's
just no There is just nothing that can separate you
from what you were meant to have. There is nothing.
So there's nothing too dark, there's nothing too deep, there's
nothing too sad. You're just not alone. I think once
you feel less alone, once you put the Wii in life,

(01:12:21):
it just starts to feel like we weren't meant to
do this alone. Guys. We were not meant to do
life alone. So I agree, once you feel all isolated
and that no one gets you, and that no one understands,
and that what you've done or what's happened to you
is so awful it will never be able to recover.
But once you realize there's a whole army of people
out there who have gone through the same things, or
who maybe haven't but want to hold your hand and

(01:12:43):
comfort you and help you heal, man, all the power
of that darkness is gone. It's gone, like you just can't.
It's even like you and I, I mean, you have
been there in the thick of it with me, the
thick of it, and I just think back to the
times where I'd be like if I didn't have one
person to call, you know. So I think until you

(01:13:05):
find your people, it's important, Like I think podcast social media,
this platform has so many little treasures in it where
people just wanting to say, like, let's feel connected until
you can get really connected. I love that exactly. Like
if you feel alone, like you haven't gotten your crew,
or like you are in a situation where you don't
have interactions with people who are like minded, or like

(01:13:27):
going for the same things or wanting to like heal
in the ways that you are. Find it online. That's
where online is great. That's where like, oh hey man,
that's where it can can be great. And I think
that we should all start trying to use social media
in that way and not like keep going down the
rabbit hole and feeling less than but like find all
the follow people who make you feel not alone, listen

(01:13:48):
to podcasts who give you inspiration, Like use it in
that way. Use it to help yourself, use it to
fuel yourself, don't use it to like keep making you
feel worse about yourself. If you ever feel like you're
not nailing it, I have a perfect hone for you.
It's like Christie Rust, we're just talking about how we're
not nailing it all the time. But my my goal

(01:14:11):
at the end of every episode, I do something called
bard Hope and it's just like like a homework or
something to think about until the next time. And it's
mostly just so that we can leave with like an
action item, because I just feel like my capricorn a
typeness loves a good plan, and I think when you
feel like people are also moving together, making a plan.
You just feel like some momentum, and most of the time,

(01:14:32):
loneliness just comes from a lack of momentum. I love that, man,
I love this conversation. I'm so glad. I'm so glad
it didn't cancel because I got in a fight with
my husband. See, folks, that's what would happen if you
let all And I was like, I'm not really a
good person to talk to today. Actually you might want
to reschedule. Nope, it's perfect. This is such an amazing conversation.

(01:14:54):
I love you so much and thank you so much
for sharing all your heart and soul. Everybody go follow
a little your in your gun handle is a little
bit fancy, and I'm like, yeah, L I T T
L E B I T fancy. And then your podcast
is in Kristen we brust b r U s T
that's your last name. So everyone check it out and

(01:15:16):
stay connected with Kristen and all of her goodness she's
sharing with the world. I love you so much, thank
you for coming on. I love you. Eggy egg Kite