This is a spectacular conversation with Lauren. She starts by BREAKING BIG NEWS WITH ME (yes, she told me first, and it’s so exciting :), then we run through her life and journey... How she got to American Idol, which led her to her incredible Country Music Career with multiple number 1 songs, Dancing with the Stars, and tons of accolades.. Then we deep dive. She shares with me the struggles of fame, especially as a teen and the cruel attacks people made on her and her body. Those painful comments led her to intense body image struggles and bulimia. We connect over this bc I also struggled with bulimia and body image in my younger years. Lauren explains why she finally got honest about it, and how she decided to stop playing perfect and be true to herself and the freedom that has come with that. Lauren’s beauty and talent are breathtaking. But the way she shares her full heart and soul and story, the struggles and the glory, is the kind of role model that young girls all around the world are so desperately needing to see. Lauren is a light that I wish I had known when I was finding my way as a young girl. I have so much respect, admiration and love for Lauren. I can’t wait for you to hear this candid conversation with a true angel and blessing to this earth.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, Carolin. She's a queen and talking. She's getting not
afraid of it. So so just let the flu. No
one can do with cry can't learn this sounds care learned.
(00:27):
So this is very exciting. I'm here Lauren Elena, who
I'm obsessed with. She's the sweetest, most talented, most awesome
girl ever. And you got breaking news. This is going
when people hear this interview, this news will already be
out there. But just for the record, this is the
first place that you're telling anyone this breaking news. Right, Yes,
(00:48):
I have. I'm gonna show you a hand. Are you
doing video too? I will, I'll make a little video
of this because it's okay. Oh okay, So are you pregnant?
I have a baby? Oh my god, Lauren, say, my
(01:10):
name's Aufrey Elena. Oh. I named her after the grand
Ole Oupry. Oh say, hi, my name's Abrey. This is
my debut, this is my naby. I UM played the
Opery on the nineteenth, which is the day that I
(01:32):
got her, and I took her on stage and UM
got a picture of her app in the circle at
the Grand Ole Opry. And yeah, so she made her
Aubrey debut. She doesn't really like the bows. I did
that for you, so I'm gonna live a better life
without it. I'm just impressed that you have her in
(01:53):
a bow and clothes, like that's really your crush in
the mom game my childhood one of childhood best friend, Savannah,
came to meet her and brought her this little outfit
and all of those boats, and I was like, oh, well,
I'm a bad mom. I didn't have her any of
these things, but I did get her like an excessive
amount you toys get that. She's so calm, She's always
(02:17):
like this. Did she just let you? She's just hugging you.
Thank you? Do you love mom? Did you'all sleep in
the bed together? No? I put her in a crate?
What well, because I'm afraid she's gonna pay on the bed.
But I'm only I'm only crate training her until she's
(02:37):
potty training and then I'll take her out. Okay, Then
can she sleep in the bed because she's gonna be
sleeping with you in the bed on the bus? Probably right. Well, Listen,
this dog got me up at four o'clock this morning
and it spent the rest of the night in the
bed with me. But I've never had I don't have babies,
and I've never really raised the dogs since I was
like a kid and my parents so so I'm like,
(03:00):
I feel like I understand why my mom's leading nanny's.
I'm like, I need a puppy nanny. I need a person.
I can't bathe, I can't wash the dishes or did
I can't do anything because she's right there with me.
But I've only had her for three days. Right now,
you should get a little. Uh. I wonder if she
(03:21):
would go into like a baby carrier and you could
wear around like people wear their babies. I wonder if
that would work. Not how people get their chores done
with babies. Yeah, yeah, you wear them around because you
can never put your baby down, and I mean unless
they're sleeping. But I mean, I wonder if she's so chill,
she might like to be in a little baby carrier
right next to you. Um, will you send me a
(03:42):
link to a baby carrier? Yeah, there's a dog one,
but I'll send you a baby with link link. If
there's not. People are gonna think I'm insane, but I
don't care. I am obsessed with her already. You love
them the minute you bring them home, did you have
like Buyer's dogg Era? More so, because has every time
I've gotten a couple of puppies. And I love all
(04:03):
my dogs, but like as soon as I get them
and bring them home, I always have like this sheer
moment of panic, like what did I do? Because, like
exactly what you said, They're waking up before in the morning,
They're peeing all over the house, they're chewing stuff, They're
like misbehaving because they don't know how to behave yet.
And I always I'm like, what did I do? I
just wrecked my life? But then it's always the best
decision ever. Well, I think, oh, I am a dog
(04:30):
makeout person too, Like I love a dog that makes out.
Do you like you'll like to make out? I like
a I like a puppy that'll kiss. When she becomes
a dog, I feel like I'm not being like you
don't have puppy breath anymore. You're gonna have to. I
don't know that because she's like my child, like she
feels like my bad like I. And then when that
you damn well and you know what you should do.
(04:52):
You should just start It sounds like you already are
bringing her with you everywhere, so she's so well adjusted
to just being everywhere you are, and like every tons
of different locations in the car, on the bus and
different houses, you know, because then she'll just be so
well adjusted. Yeah. Well, I mean I'm not really going
very many places right now, but I mean it's so
(05:17):
sad we can't go anywhere. Well, I will say, you're
in your closet, which is one of the most beautiful
closets I've ever seen. You know what this I feel
like just from this little glance, I can see so
much about your personality that I love. Like, you're so colorful,
You're such a colorful person. I mean, I'm wearing black,
but I've got some pretty like patterned pants on. And
(05:38):
I love that you got ready in twenty minutes. I
mean you know how to do this, Like you are
stage ready in twenty minutes. Do you sometimes get ready
for stage that fast? Always? Pretty much? Because I'm I'm
usually like out when I'm touring. I like to travel
like outside of the venue and go see the cities.
In Molly, and I'm always my assistant. We always get
(06:00):
sidetracked and then we're getting ready in like twenty minutes
and she's helping me blow draw my hair, and and
somehow we always get ready one time. I don't like
to be light, so I will go with my hair
wet to the mat and great before i'd be late
to it. That's good. What are your like tricks? You
don't have to go into full detail, but like, what
are the like the essentials to get ready super fast
(06:20):
and look like you're supermodel like you do? Like what
are you what do you have to do to like
look this good? This fast? Like? What are the go too?
So right now? What I'll just tell you how I
did my makeup. I did like I have like this Matt, well,
don't look at my fingernails. Okay, I didn't quite make
it to the finger out part. Um. I did like
(06:40):
this Matt concealer, and I do it all my under
my eyes, on my eyelids, down my nose right whatever
this thing is right here, and then I do I
use this um this that changed my life. I contour
my whole face with this body blur vita liberata. I
(07:06):
don't know, it's like a cream, and I put it
all over here here on the double chin deal. And
then I did like a cream a shadow all over
and then I put like a gold shadow and then
just smeared it with my fingers, mascara, a little bit
of eyeliner and some blush and oh and then I
did a little foundation and I use what do I use?
(07:30):
I don't know. Mary gets it. My makeup artist gets
at all. But I just pretty much smeared on my
face as fast as I can. Well looks amazing. Thanks.
Oh and the eyebrows I take, that's what I take
the longest time one. It's my eyebrows. I just interviewed
um the eyebrow gurus who does all the Kardashians eyebrows.
(07:50):
Her name is Kelly Baker, and she was talking to
me about eyebrows because I got my micro bladed where
they do like the little needles and like perfect eyebrows.
If you look close though, you can see the tinting
because they are tinted with their like tattooed. You know,
when you get the thanks, you don't know anything. No,
(08:13):
I don't do anything to my eyebrows. I am all
about the least amount of time. So like I get
I lashed extensions, I have my eyebrows micro bladed. And
that's how I live most days, and then if I
need to like go somewhere and actually be seen in public,
I'll put on some foundation, blush, eyeliner, and so you
have foundation on right now? No, but I mean it's
(08:36):
over zoom. If you saw me up close, you would
see all the imperfections of my face for sure. Now
you have perfect skin your fore God is so shiny
and pretty. Well. I didn't get some fresh botox, which
always makes me feel great. I need to get do
I need to do something to my eyebrows and lash extensions. Well,
I just like eyelash extensions because then you wake up
(08:56):
you feel great. Every day you feel like you look good.
I mean, like, to me, my eyelashes make me feel
so good. When I don't have my eyelashes done, I
feel like a wet boy dog. I have really long
elash just but they're blonde. So if I don't know
if you can say them, can you see my eyelashes? Yeah?
You are just so pretty all? Oh my gosh. The
(09:22):
double chance is I have like eight I can make
them all. What is the deal with like weight going there?
I don't understand like it has to be attached to
your face. Really, I would rather have like enormous arms
than a double chance like I would want if I could, Like, Yeah,
I just don't. I don't like the double chin. No. Well,
(09:44):
this year has not been great for me. I literally
have given up working out pretty much altogether. Every now
and then I try to get a wild hair and
go to hot yoga because I feel like I need
some exercise in my life. But like I pretty much
for the past few years have just said, exercise isn't
for me. I'm was gonna eat like a teenage boy,
so basically ate like cheeseburgers and pizza and mac and
(10:06):
cheese all the time, drink lots of beer, and I
put I've continue I have a solid ten pounds that
I can't lose, and I wonder why, Well, I am
a little bit heavier right now because I went from
dancing with the stars, which made me I was teeny
teeny tiny, and then I broke two bones in my
(10:27):
foot and couldn't walk for nine weeks. So I went
from like eight hours of dancing every single day to
sitting on the couch. I think my body was like,
what do we what's are doing? She she said, no, lut,
did you hear that a door is shut in my house. No,
she doesn't seem to be bothered by it. So do
you have a taser or like a baseball bat? I
(10:49):
got a curling iron. It's hot right here. Actually, that
would be really good, burn him in the face. I
think I'm a fod person, though I don't know. I'm
not like a saper, a violent person. But I think
if someone came in here, they would be they would
regret it unless they shot me because I would put
up a fight. Yeah. Oh yeah, I think I would
(11:10):
be like a crazy person. But well, especially if they
came out after my child Aprey. Um, so did you Okay?
So I watched some of your season with Dancing the
Stars and you were freaking only because I don't ever
I can never fully watch any seasons of anything because
(11:30):
my life is freaking ship too. But I know, but
I definitely tuned in because you were on it and
you're so beautiful, so amazing. Did you break your foot
on the show? No? I actually, um came up home
in fourth place, right, Yeah, I came home and I
(11:51):
did a tour in the end. When I came home
in March for the quarantine, I was taking the trash
out and it had been raining and I had on
like rubber slides, and when I came back in, I
stepped on the car like the hardwood and slipped and
my foot hit the leg like the brass leg of
my couch and broke two bones in my right foot.
(12:12):
And I didn't walk for ten weeks or something ridiculous.
So you just did Dancing the Stars for weeks on
end on end on end, and a dancing the first
tour and then you broke your foot just by a
little slip yep man national television doing like competing for
with dancing, which I did crack a few ribs doing that,
(12:35):
but that wasn't really from falling or anything. It was
just turning my body in weird ways. But um, and
then I came home and broke my foot. So I
went from like working out for eight ten hours a
day to sitting on the couch. I think, do you
want to get down? I'm gonna put her down. Okay,
oh she does not want to get downe he wants
(12:56):
to be with her mama. Um. I went from like
tend I was a dancing and I just sitting on
the couch for eight to sand wakes. So my body
was kind of in shock, and I've just started like
working out again because it messed up my balance for
a while, breaking my two middle bones that connect my
toes to my foot, so I couldn't bend my foot,
(13:17):
I couldn't go upstairs. It was more hurt so badly.
It's better now, but it hurts for a really long time,
and sometimes when it's really cold for some reason, it
hurts like it ate. Yeah, but I snapped the bone
in half. Oh, like the bone was like this was what? Okay?
(13:38):
So like adult pain, you know, like that's some serious
adult pain. What did you did? You just lie on
the floor and just cry, honestly cress out. Well. I
was carrying something back into the house because it was raining,
and um, I held onto that for whatever reason, because
I think if I had put my hands down, I
(13:58):
would have caught myself. But I hold onto these like
lights that were on the patio that I was afraid,
we're I don't know. I was scared to leave them
in the rain, and so I didn't catch myself at all,
and I hit my butt pretty hard and so I
was like, I'm gonna have a bruise in my butt.
I got right up, walked around behind my couch. This
(14:21):
is horrible, and my toe like caught on the carpet
and I was like, oh my god. And my toe
was like not attached to my foot, like the bone
that connects your toe to your foot was snapped. And
I was like, I broke my toast. So I called
my manager and I was like, Trisia. She lives like
(14:41):
half a mile from me. And I was like, Trishia,
I wrote my toe and I was I still didn't
feel it, and she's like, how do you know you
broke it? And I was like, because it doesn't look attached,
and she was like, face time me let me see it. Oh,
So I faced time during she goes, oh, honey, we
(15:02):
gotta call your doctor in the morning. It was like
eleven o'clock at nine. Of course, She's like, you need
to splin it. So I crawled myself into the kitchen
kind of open a yngling flight box and splinted my
toe with this box. When I picked up, yes, when
I picked the toe up, that's when it was like,
(15:25):
my life is over, well life, and then I started crying.
I never cried until I realized for sure it was
broken because my broken toe broke my heart. I was like, um,
we were in a lockdown two, so I knew that
I was gonna be by myself. You know. It was horrible,
So it's not like to have to be by yourself
(15:47):
recover age just in the lockdown in general, and then
with a broken foot and so much pain, it was
pretty bad. I got like groceries delivered, which I've done anyway,
but I had to get a scooter. So tricious mom,
my manager's mom had a scooter from when she from
which she had me or some kind of surgery broke
her and collisions that I can't remember. Anyway, she had
(16:07):
a scooter, so I scooted around my house forever, and um,
I did everything they told me that. I still can't
bend it right, Still a little weird when i've been it,
but yeah, not what you want in a pandemic to
break something that makes you be able to move around.
And before that, I was walking like four or five
(16:28):
miles a day just outside trying to get my like
it took me about five hours to do it. So
don't think I'm some sort of fitness animal, but I
would just go for walks you know, and then I
couldn't do that. I was like, I'm gonna actually lose
my mind because I'm like the most extroverted person in
the world, so for me to be locked in a
house is it's like a way to torture me. And
(16:51):
then I broke my foot, so I was like, I'm
just gonna eat. So I pretty much ate pizza and
ice cream and felt right for myself for about eight weeks,
and then I was like, we shouldn't have done this
to ourselves. So I've tried to start working out again
and eating clean. Like actually, the last two days I
was like, this is it. I'm not gonna I'm gonna
(17:13):
eat well. And I did it yesterday and so far today,
so we'll see how dinner goes. Okay, really into soup,
you know what, I'm really into soup. Soup? Do you
make soup? I don't cook. Hell no, I'm just telling
you if you ever want to start cooking, I'm anna
actually a pretty good cook. But I feel like if
you're not a good cook, soup to the way to go,
(17:35):
because you just throw it in the pot and let
it live its life and then you eat it and
they keep really well so you can keep them in
the fridge and you can freeze them and it's cold,
and like everybody wants a soup. I'm making a chicken
abruptly soup tonight. Oh hella la. So I am Betty Crocker.
Now I live at home. How's it been not being
(17:58):
on the road? Has that been like a big adjustment?
Because I feel like you were just a touring machine.
You've towards with so many amazing people. Jason twice. I
just realized, Yeah, ward of him twice. Actually, every tour
I think I've been on, I've been on it twice. Good.
You're so good. They everyone wanted to toward with Luke twice.
(18:22):
I toured with Luke twice. I toward with Jason twice,
Luke Bryan. Um, I toured with like Shelton twice, Colspindale twice.
My boys bring me back out my buddies, Um yeah,
I to I play like between a hundred and twenty
and hundred and fifty shows a year, typically sometimes more
(18:44):
than that with radio shows. UM. So it has been
like weird for me. What have you when I've operated
that way for ten years and I'm not married and
I don't have a fan only I got this puppy.
She's keeping the company now. But before that, I was
just like, what am I gonna do? Like, what am
(19:06):
I gonna do? What have you discovered about yourself in
this pandemic, not touring, being pretty much with just yourself,
Like what what have you discovered? I think the biggest
thing I discovered is that I didn't have hobbies outside
of work. Became pretty clear to me about three weeks
(19:30):
in because I was kind of in shock, you know,
I think the whole world was in shock for a minute.
And then when like the shock, we're off and I
started settling into the fact that I was indefinitely going
to be home. People were asking me, you know, everyone
was doing interviews and all this stuff, and people are
asking me, so, what are you doing to like fill
up your time? Well, I kind of like to clean.
(19:53):
I know that. Like, look, I love to clean, color
coordinated this whole closet. Like I'm that person, you know,
like the I met it, you hume at it yourself. Yeah,
I do. They could hire me. I could work for them.
They're better at it than I am. But like I'm
a big believer in baskets and color coordination and just
like things being together. Um, but I realized, like, I
(20:15):
don't have hobbies. So once I bought my house that
I'm in right now February of this year, oh my god,
and then the shutdown happened the very next month. Yeah,
so after and when I was saying the shock, I
was like, well, this would be fine because I was
selling my old house and I was gonna just like
slowly move into this one. But then I was like
(20:36):
when I was home, then I was home, so I
got it all done and then sort of everything and
color coordinating and got everything. So once that was done,
I realized, what am I gonna do? Now? That's not
like music because I can't tour and I'm still writing obviously,
but there's only so much writing you can do when
you're sitting in your house every day. It starts to
(20:57):
become like an issue of what you're to write about.
You know, you only go through the archives so far
before you're like, I don't know any I have any
more thoughts. And so I think the biggest thing I
realized is I don't have hobbies. So I've been really
intentional to try to figure out things that I like
outside of work. So I've been hiking. I like to hike.
I am a big puzzle person. Someone someone literally recommended
(21:23):
why don't you do a puzzle? And everyone for my
birthday this year got me puzzles, and I'm like living
my best life on the kitchen table, just like drinking
a glass of wine doing a puzzle. I am here
for the puzzles. So I like puzzles. I've been reading
a lot. I just finished a book that literally made
(21:44):
me sob into a puddle. Do you like where the
crawdads sing? Where the crawdads sing? Oh? No. I've been
listening to Matthew McConaughey's Green Lights on audio, which that's
been a really good one. But okay, how do you
get that well? And also he talks, so it's like
the way he speaks, you know about McConaughey. He's reading
the book. Oh yeah, aired up? We Mommy's loud him
(22:10):
not um. So you love to read, that's great. So
I have to read, which I did some reading on
the road, but I don't think I gave it, like
I don't think I gave anything outside of music enough time,
if that makes sense, because I'm so work like minded.
(22:30):
I'm just really work. Like I love to work. I
love it. It's not even something that it's like a chore.
Like I genuinely love everything about my job. I mean,
it wears me out like everybody's jobs do. But like
I love interacting with people, I love being on stage.
And I was so fulfilled with that that I didn't
really I feel like I needed things outside of it.
(22:52):
But now I think I'm gonna after this year, after
when we get back to life, I'm gonna implement some
of my hobbies more so that I because I would
occasionally burn out, you know, and I would be like overwhelmed,
And then I didn't know what I like to do.
I did not know what I like to do outside
of work because I did it so much. But so yeah,
I was like, and I love to cook. So from
(23:13):
now on, when I come home one day a week,
I will cook. Things like that, I will change. But
I didn't have hobbies. I work a lot of hobbies.
You do puzzles, you like to cook, you go hiking,
you got a dog. I mean that's a lot of hobbies.
I don't know. I didn't know any of those things.
I would never have known that I liked those things though,
without having to kind of stop for a second and
(23:34):
figure out what I do. Like I like to drink wine.
Does that kind of a hobby. Yeah, I mean I'm
really consistent with that. Also, never watched TV in my
whole life, never been a TV watcher. I am unhealthily
obsessed with forensic files. And have you ever watched forensic
files and think, you know, that's scary, like an old
old show. I like them because they solved them. They
(23:58):
freak up so bad when they don't solve them, Like
I can't. I watched Unsolved Mysteries and like I was like,
this is not good for me. But Forensic Falls is
like a show from the nineties I think or early
two thousands, and when d n A like research started
kicking in, they solved all these murders that had happened
like the seventies because they didn't have DNA like research.
(24:21):
I'm fascinated with it true. Are they true cases or
is it fictional? It's real people, Yeah, you can, Like
I've even when I really feel passionately about the story,
I've looked him up past the show. How did you
even land on that? Like, out of all the things
that you could have gone to on Netflix, Hulu, paramout,
I mean all Apple TV. How like there's all these
(24:41):
like cutting edge, new hot shows up there. How did
you go to floor Forensic Falls? Yeah, well, um, it's
I I watched it when I was little with my dad.
I remember I didn't watch it. I wasn't really allowed
to watch it, but I remember him watching it and
I saw it and I called him. I was like,
they just released it on Netflix or something. So it
(25:02):
was like a new recommendation. And I called my dad
and I was like, Dad, did you watch that Forensic
File show? And he was like, yeah, it's the best.
So I was like, I'm gonna give it a go.
And I got sucked in. I'm on like season four
of nine, and there's like forty episodes in the season,
but the perfect they're only twenty minutes fifteen to twenty minutes.
(25:23):
So it's like for someone who doesn't sit down often,
it's a good thing for me to like, all right,
for twenty minutes, I'm gonna sit here and be still.
That's a good that's good in it. You have endless
episodes to watch, so that's great. It's gonna last you
for a long time, and it'll definitely get you through,
hopefully until touring starts again, which apply it doesn't. I
(25:43):
need to stop watching TV so much. But okay, So,
speaking of your dad, you were like you and your
dad are like bfs. I feel like y'all post really
funny videos and I feel like your dad is like
totally a jokester and like he loves to be goofy
with you. Is that like? Is that? Did you? Are
you a daddy's girl? Because I feel like you and
(26:04):
him were just like the little best of friends. We
are your mom too, Well, I'm really close with both
of my parents. My dad's a recovering alcoholic, so I
was not super close with him as a teenager. Um,
we kind of clashed, but my dad went to rehab
when I was eighteen. It's really huge, Yeah, very huge,
(26:27):
and so and he's been sober ever since. So when
he came out of rehab, we just kind of he
sat me down, and, um, I think a part of
your twelve step program is to make amends. So I
know it is a part of part of the twelve
step program is to make amends. And so my dad
kind of had a list of people that he felt
(26:48):
he needed to talk to and he wrote me this
letter kind of explaining how sorry he was to me.
He kind of own it up for some things and
really taking ownership of his actions, and he said, I'll
never forget this, he said, So what can I do
to fix these things? Man? I just have chills and
I want to cry. That's a really big deal, I mean,
(27:10):
and I said, you just did, and just like him
acknowledging it, we just kind of reset and we are
like best butts. I mean, we were really, really really cless.
So that has to be kind of crazy because you
probably didn't really know the true dad, your true dad,
because if he was under the influence of alcohol your childhood,
(27:32):
you probably met him like for like the first time
as who he true. Tell people that. I tell people
that I think it was awesome, you know what. I'm
just like him for him to have like we have
the exact same personality, but he Um. The interesting thing
about my father's alcoholism is like my dad went to
(27:54):
work every single day. You know, it's just like a
different It wasn't like a person that stayed on the
couch drunk seven but he had a really bad drinking
problem when he came home, so he still went to
work and provided for the family, and then he would
kind of go through ways where he would quit, but
he didn't really quit, but he would quit, and then
he didn't really quit. So it's kind of a I mean,
(28:16):
I got glimpses of my dad along the way, but
that it was really Alcoholism is a horrible disease because
it's different for everyone and there are no like rules
to it. Like every every experience is different. I mean,
if you've been in an alcohol or like an addicts home,
(28:36):
there are things that people who also grew up with
an addict like I did, that we're just like, yeah,
I know exactly what we're talking about, but everyone's experience
is a little bit different. So I did feel like
I kind of knew my dad, but then my dad
would be like different all of a sudden, you know
what I mean. Um, we suffered quite a bit of
(28:57):
loss in my childhood. She's having a nightmare. Oh okay,
you're such a sweet mama. Why does that make you
want to cry? Wasn't you comfort your dog? That's so sweet?
But he um, I mean, my love for music came
from my dad, so that was something that we always
(29:18):
bonded with growing up. He played guitar for me a
lot um. But yeah, we're we're best at buds now
and I'm so proud of him, and he's such an
example to others because we I mean, my my grandfather,
his dad, Um, committed suicide when I was seven, and
then um when when I was ten, my mom's mom
(29:42):
suddenly passed away. So we had two pretty like significant
things happened. And he was in the army and he
had severe PTSD like night terror's bad, and so I
think just kind of all the collection of all of that,
and he was a young dad and he lost his
dad really young, just you know, unfortunately he resorted to
(30:03):
alcohol um to kind of suppress all of that stuff.
But he was still the funniest guy in the room
and he was always still like great. I mean, he
was a great dad. He just you know, we all
have problems, but he's great now, man, And he's seven
seven years sober, and my my nephews will never know
(30:27):
him like that, and that makes me so excited for
them and the nephews. My nephews have been a really good,
like reset for the whole family because my parents divorced
and now they're friends, and that's so cool that they're friends.
They're tow and we last year had our first Christmas
together again as a family, and then you were doing
that as well, so broad and COVID tested and as
(30:51):
long as everyone's clear, we're gonna have my mom and
my dad and my brother and his children and his wife. Um.
I think it's really good for the kids, you know,
and also just how amazing that your parents can see
the love they have for each other. Obviously not together
(31:12):
as a couple anymore, but they created beautiful children, they
have all this life together, Like to be able to
come together as a family, like that's just so special, Lauren,
that's awesome. Yeah, I'm pretty thankful that they got there,
you know. I know a lot of families don't ever
ever get there. So I'm proud of them, and I
mean it makes me excited for myself to like I
(31:34):
always say it's exciting for like my nephews, but like,
really those are my parents. And I remember after their divorce.
The hardest times with their divorce were like birthday parties
and holidays, because that's like within that very clearly changes
after a divorce. But we got through it and their
(31:55):
friends again, and we all kind of got into a
place of healing. So that's really and and when mom
asked for the divorces, when Dad went to rehab, so
I think it was like a wake up call for him.
So in a way, I think the divorce kind of
gave my dad a whole new life, all of us
a whole new life. It's not divorce is horrible and sad,
(32:16):
and no one ever wants that to happen. But looking
back on it now, I can see how, you know,
maybe they weren't right for each other, and they got
us out of it and we got a whole family
from it, and now they're friends, so it's all good.
That makes me so emotional. Lauren, Wow, what I just
(32:37):
a what are ademptive story? Too? Though? You know, it's
like this world and this life is so messy, and
it's humans just dealing with our own problems, in our
own pain and then coming together with marriage and children
and pressures and stress and trauma and all sorts of stuff.
It's really hard for people to keep it together some times.
(33:00):
You know, a lot of the times we all suffer,
and so to be able to have a full circle
moment like that, that's just that's just the dream, that's
the hope. So that's really awesome. Yeah, I'm I'm proud
of my family. I think everybody's kind of done their work. Yeah,
exactly around like we're all doing that. We're all messy people.
You know, who isn't I don't know. But once I
(33:24):
started like telling the truth about my life, I felt
so much more free, you know, and we're all messed
up and people like, look at people in the public.
I think we're not messed I'm gonna go ahead and
tell you we got the family members in the front
yard fighting at Thanksgiving. To you, I'm just gonna tell
you we did. Why is that? Like? I feel that
(33:44):
same way, And it's been so so so important to
me to share all sides of myself because I feel like,
for the longest time, I felt like I had to
meet this level of perfection. I thought they were actually
people in the world who were living perfect lee and
that had it all together and the standards that had
to be met. And then I think I've just now
(34:05):
gotten to know so many incredible people, so many people
in the public, I so many people who have done
amazing things in their life and they still have messes.
Everyone has a mess, Like there is no perfect life.
You just have to navigate your own. Like you said,
do the work, do yourself discovery. He'll let your speak
your truth. Say what, how, what happened to you as
(34:27):
a child, what you live through? Like the truth about
your family and with respecting your family obviously, but it's
just like I feel that same way. And you and
I both um you shared about this, struggled with eating disorders.
I was bulimic for um in high school and into
college a little bit, and I know you have shared
about that, and and it's a it's a hard thing.
(34:49):
But like as soon as I told people that I
struggled with blooming and eating disorders and I was addicted
to diet hills and all sorts of stuff, like I
just felt like I could let go of all this shame.
It really is interesting. I never planned to talk about
my eating disorder. But I don't know if I told
you this, But I was doing an interview supporting road
Less Trap, which I wrote around that topic. Right, I
(35:14):
was like people were on Facebook call me fat, and
I was sixteen, and there were these blogs that would
put a pix now on my face and call me
miss Piggy and like, oh people could people were really cruel,
but you know what those are. People were hurting and
I played sixteen that's hard to process. Yeah, it was
(35:36):
not good. It was not good, and um I struggled
with just about every reading disorder you can think of,
I mean the only I mean, yeah, I I would
go without eating. I was, but I had like bulimia
and and their act I think at the same time.
And then I did like every diet you can imagine,
(35:58):
and uh like I did injections into my body when
I was still like growing, you know, and it was
just like just not good, not not good, and um
I it was pretty protective of all of that, honestly.
Never like my father did not know, which we weren't
(36:19):
super close then. But I did an interview promoting the
album and the or the song before the album ever
came out, and Real just traveled, I mean pretty much
says the other people can't tell you, like they don't
define what's beautiful, right, Like that's the whole thing, is
like do your the own thing, be your own person
(36:40):
that no, thank you, nobody can define me. And I
was doing this like Facebook Live, I'll never forget it.
And they were like, there are girls on here right
now that would just do anything to have your confidence.
You're so confident, You've always been so confident, And what's
your trick And I was like, um, well, I mean honestly,
(37:04):
I don't I don't really have a trick. And my
manager at the time was just not the right person
for me, not the right fit. Lots of things happened
that shouldn't have happened financially, and like the just a
lot of bad garbage. Well, um, she had encouraged me
(37:25):
like not to share about it about my eating disorder
and stuff, which I feel like she was a big
catalyst for that lifestyle for me because of like the
language she used and how important my weight seemed to be. Yeah,
it's like the image, the perfect image was really important.
(37:47):
The path making the package look perfect. Gotta be this,
you gotta be that. That's the sixteen seventeen year old girl.
I was just trying to do what people were telling me,
you know, and I just and you got catapulted into it.
I mean like you were on America and I don't pizza.
I hate pizza for lunch. Every day, and then people
called me fat and I was like, well, I guess
I won't eat the pizza anymore, you know. So then
(38:09):
I was blame making all this stuff. And I was
in this interview and they said, what's your trick, and
I said, well, honestly, I don't have a trick. I
struggled with them eating this sort of like seven years.
And they were like what, and I was like, yeah,
I've really struggled with blame. You really, wow, Lauren. And
I don't know what or why or how like, but
(38:32):
when I walked out of that room, I felt like
I just told the tricks of the first time, you know.
Did that feel so good? I felt like all that
weight I was trying to lose was just a burden
I was carrying on my shoulders. It wasn't about my
like pant sauce I was in, like I was carrying
that like quote unquote white of this like secret. And
(38:55):
the whole way I ever even got found out that
I was having problems with an indianustory was my mom
was traveling with me, and I think she started realizing,
I don't know what it seems to be not eating
or go into the bathroom after she eats, and just
like every time. And I think mothers have like this
instinct with their child when they know when they're sick
or they know when they're hurting. And so I went.
(39:17):
I was started having problems with my voice, which obviously
throwing up is not good for your vocal cords, right
because think about when you're sick, it makes you horse
or whatever. So I was just really horse all the time.
And I went to a vocal core doctor and my
mother had like tipped this guy off, this doctor that
he she thought I was struggling and she didn't know
(39:39):
how to approach me about it, so she had him
do it. And we were sitting in the room and
he said, have you ever had an eating disorder anything
that you know there's any kind of acidity that could
be like affecting your vocal cords. And I said no, no, no,
And my mother was sitting in the room and she
goes Lauren, and just the tone of her voice, I
(40:00):
was like, oh no, and I was. So I took
two weeks off and um, I went to a beach
house just with my mom and kind of reset a
little bit. And um, she told me that she wanted
me to start looking at the mirror every day and
saying three things that I loved about myself and I'll
never forget. Like I couldn't say one thing. And then
(40:22):
finally I was like, I like my eyelashes and that
was the only thing. And I think it was such
an eye opening moment for me to look in the mirror,
like look at myself and not be able to find
anything I liked about myself. Was there was a moment
where I was like, oh, I like humanized me to me,
you know what I mean, And um. I struggled for
(40:44):
a couple more years after that. Honestly, I think it
was about UM. I started experimenting with um being unhealthy
with my food and stuff in six or seventh grade,
and I think I finally got like better to the
point where it didn't consume my entire life when I
was about Ninetina twittery and then UM, you know, it's
(41:07):
still like a thing that I deal with. I will
always deal with it, like when I have to be
really intentional to not overeat because I would I went
through a phase where I would like eat to the
point where it would make me sick, and so like
I have to be really really careful not to get
that feeling like and I have a therapist specifically for that,
so if I ever feel like I'm not doing well.
(41:30):
Like before Dancing with the Stars, I had a very
um I I relapsed a little bit and I was
not in a good mindset. So I started seeing her
again and just kind of got myself ready to go
out there. And because the the whole TV thing, because
oh man, and everyone's just having their opinions and weighing
in on everything you're doing. How you look what I mean,
(41:52):
You're getting literally judged every single day. And I'm not
in America. You know, I'm not like being John what
I've looked like. It's because I could sink chill about
my hips. I know, Lauren, I know, and I um
I feel the same way. Honestly. What really helped me
(42:13):
the most? God everything makes you cry of these days.
I when I got pregnant, Like I'm thirty seven years
old right now, and I have always since I was
about in like probably fifteen fourteen fifteen. I started with it,
and then I got addicted to prescription diet pills and
I was nineteen. I was addicted to those for like
ten years and I felt like I could not live
(42:34):
without them. And then so I kind of like weaned
off of bliemia, moved more into prescription diet pills, and
then I would like do this binging where I was
like binge a ton, but then I would go work
out like all day to like work off the calories
that I ate, and then I would take, you know,
I take diet pills for the next three days and
I wouldn't eat and I work out every day so
I could like cancel out what I did and it
(42:56):
was just a living help. And finally, like I started
and her therapist also about it and has that helped
a lot. But when I got pregnant, I was like,
for the first time, I was like living for another
human inside of me, and I was like I can't
be this way, Like I cannot be probably, I mean
(43:18):
it was like the first time I was like I
can't be this way when I'm I can't care about
this when I'm growing a child inside of me, like
I have to be bigger than this, and it was
so hard, but like that gave for the It was
the first time I truly anytime I felt like having
a like a relapse for feeling beating myself up about it,
(43:40):
Like I could always just go to that and be like, Okay,
I'm doing this, I am staying this, I'm staying mentally
sound about this. I'm not gonna judge myself. I'm not
gonna beat myself up because I'm there's a life inside
of me. And that's really like the biggest turning point
I've ever had, because I've struggled with it my whole
life too. It's like and then like now that I'm
like ten pound heavier, like I find myself because I
(44:01):
had gotten to a place where I was feeling kind
of good before I got pregnant. I was like doing
how yoga all the time. I was feeling like I
had it in check, and I was like, oh, I
don't have a problem anymore. I'm good. And then now
that I've gained weight again, I find myself obsessing about
it and like stressing out and I see all these
like fat roles, and I'm like, I can see myself.
I think I get better, but then you you you,
you let you get a little bit out of your
(44:22):
perfection zone, and I can can find myself falling back
down the hole again. And I'm like stop it, Caroline,
like this is nobody cares, Like, well, the problem with
you is people weigh in on you all the time.
Like you're having people comment on you all the time.
That has to be so hard, but it's just yeah,
but we just have to learn that. Like it's just
it's like those opinions are irrelevant, right, they're not. They
(44:45):
don't define us. And like, I, um, it's really interesting
to hear you say that about like having a child,
because I think I had the same experience but reversed.
I was the child. It was like the time that
like it really kind of helped me to be like
because it was my mother looking at her child and
(45:07):
seeing and like you don't want to disappoint like as
much your daughter doesn't want to disappoint you as much
as like I didn't want to disappoint my mom even
though she's a baby still, right, how old is she won? Yeah,
so but you know she doesn't want to upset you already,
so like for you, you protect her, she protects you.
(45:28):
And that's like so interesting that it was like the
same thing, but I was a child in there, Like
my mom was like, honey, you can't well and your mom,
Like you're you're like exactly what you're saying, Like your
mom was probably aching for you, like as much as
you were struggling, like when she felt it, like she
(45:48):
was probably struggled just as much, you know, because that
vond that you have with your mom parents, a daughter
mom von, I mean with your parents in general, with
a daughter mom vond like she feels your pay you know,
and you feel like you feel hers, and when you ache,
she aches. So I mean, that's really that's really awesome
that she was there for you, Lauren, like that she
could help you see the beauty and yourself because you
(46:10):
got thrown into so much so young. I could be
like I mean believe and over a long period of
time causes fear health problems like heart problems and like
stomach lining problems, like all of this just gets affected.
And I did it consistently every mill probably for four years.
(46:34):
So that's that's a long time, you know. And I
feel like if I hadn't gotten help, I would have like,
I mean, you can lose your teeth very luckily. Yeah,
So I'm thankful my mom. My mom probably saved my
life doing that. So I'm so proud of you, Lauren,
You've been through. I mean, you have so many amazing successes,
(46:56):
number one songs, you obviously you've been on Dancing with
the Stars. You're beautiful spirit inside and out. But like
with a rocket ship, rise to fame, with being in
the public eye, with being so young, I mean, like nobody,
and I feel like people are learning this more who
aren't in an entertainment industry, who are sitting around just
like judging people who they think are famous and have
(47:18):
all this going in their life. But like it is,
there is such another side of pressure in keeping up
and feeling you have to be this image or if
you're not that you won't be successful, or you'll be
dropped or people won't like you. And like, like you said,
you may have even a manager who's supporting that lifestyle,
and it's like the pressure is so much. Human beings
(47:42):
aren't designed to be famous. No, that's a good point.
We're just not you know, we're not like that. We're
not humans aren't designed to be like elevated from other humans.
So it's like we don't like it. I can tell
you the difference between let's say Savannah, my my child
(48:05):
and best friend who just brought all these sweet little
bows and outfits for my pup here. The only difference
between Savannah and May grew up in the same town,
very similar childhoods, all kinds of stuff. The only difference
between me and Savannah is that I can sing and
she can't. That is the only thing. So I don't
have some sort of skill outside of the fact that
(48:28):
I can sing that prepares me to be like famous,
and nobody does right, like right, we learned, like the
hardest part about what we do is the fame part.
Famous a blessing and a curse because the more famous
you are, the more people you can connect, but also
if you're not careful, it makes you more disconnected. You know,
the more famous you get, you connect with more people outwardly,
(48:50):
but you connect with people less inwardly, and so you
have it's like a really scary thing to navigate, especially
to a young age, which I'm super thankful now because
I was young and that my mom was able to
be like, we gotta get her some help to deal
with this, and so like I had influences of my
like parental influences helping me into like get my head
(49:11):
wrapped around everything, and then my I had some pretty big,
like life changing things happened in the last three years
that like I just threw myself into therapy and I
like realized, yeah, I went to this place, got on
site that changed my life. Um. And I did like
a therapy retreat program after I lost my stepdad, and
(49:34):
it like really I went through because I was grieving
so much his like his death. And then once I
got there, I realized that, like there was all the
these other things too that I was aching from that
I didn't realize like if I could handle those things better,
I could handle anything better. So, um, but the same
(49:54):
thing is the one thing I've really had to focus
on because we are not designed to be famous. We're
just not, you know, and it's a lot of pressure,
and um, I just want to use my platform for
good and like to make people laugh and make people
feel happy. And it's really hard when you see people
(50:15):
using your platform, like on my social media pages for negativity,
and then it's like what am I doing this for?
Because then you feel like you're you're making the space
for that. But like I I've learned I can just
control myself and I've set boundaries around my life, like
I will never talk about my personal relationships again. I mean,
(50:37):
like boyfriends. I've had two pretty brutal public breakups and
like I have a boyfriend right now and I've never
spoken about him, Like no one knows who he is.
He's wonderful, but he's mine. And I feel like Dolly
Pardon's killed that. Yes, I don't even knew she was
married this whole time. She's married and has a whole
(50:58):
life outside of her life, and that's like she has
handled faying the best. We all need to take the
paige out of Dolly Partner's book. Dolly Partner is like
the pro at life. Like I mean, she is ultimate
goals in everyone. She always turns it into like a
learning lesson. She always can stay happy and positive, put
(51:18):
a spin on it. But she has those boundaries, those
strong boundaries. Can hear people, Yeah, she's fantastic. Would I'll
be like Dolly Parton, Amen a man. And she's freaking
beautiful and she embraces some plastic surgery and looking good.
She has fun with it the whole time. I mean,
who and her wigs, Oh, do you know, she's like
(51:39):
a tractor trailer full of wigs that go everywhere with her.
I love it. I love it. Why aren't we all
wearing wigs? Let's talk about that. I know, right, I've
been like, honestly, I've been kind of like I have
this cow lick right here that there's like nothing I
can do about, Like I don't know what I literally
it's like what what is? What is this? And if
I wear a wake, you wouldn't know that. I think
(52:00):
wigs are the way to go because I always like
to do really extreme things and I'm like emotionally and
feeling ricked a little bit. In is finally hitting me,
like it's been hitting me this whole time, but like
I've been having like a little constant breakdowns lately, and
I'm just like I think I'm just gonnadye. My hair
really dark. I think I'm just gonna die my hair dark.
I just need to do something different, be extreme. Well,
(52:21):
I did my blue remember when I was How was it?
Was it? Fun? Was it liberating? It was great? And
if you want to do a fun color like that,
I'll tell you the brand that I used and it
comes out in two weeks. Maybe that's what I need
to do. Maybe don't die the whole thing, but just
like do a wash. And I think that this brand
has like brunette shades too that you could do, like
(52:43):
you could do like a two week I'll look, oh
that's what, and then I can try it on to
see if it's actually something I went and then it wants.
It might look weird and red when it comes out,
because I think for the brunette is probably red under tents, right,
but it looks s aid when it comes out, like
my hair was green for a hot sec. But that's
(53:03):
kind of fun. I mean, go through blue green. I
went through every color and then when it got like green,
I put it back in there. So then I extended
the blue and then it took a really long time.
But they have pastel, purple, pastel pink. That's a good
idea instead of being so dramatic. I mean I'm always
emotionally dramatic. Kind of sent me over my edge a
little bit. I will say, if you um go brown,
(53:29):
it's really hard to get back blonde. Did that too?
I know, so you went brown, and what do you think?
You didn't love it? Well? My eyes looked really blue,
but I don't know. I just it was after my
parents divorced, so I think I was being a bit
rebellious and it just didn't look like me or something.
Look at, my hair is naturally like a sandy blondish
(53:50):
brown color, like a mousey blonde, and so my roots
were lighter than my hair, which wasn't the best look
for me. Yeah, you know. So I don't know, but
I've kind of landed on this in between color. I'm
a little more blond than I typically am right now,
because I was like, why not, it looks so good. Thanks, Lauren.
(54:10):
I think you are just such an inspiration and I
really really love that you share your heart and your story,
and you shared the hard parts of your life, like
when you were doing Dancing the Stars, you did that
really emotional tribute to your stepfather after you passed, Like
you talk about your your eating struggles. You know what
(54:32):
you have to go through with fame, and I think,
and you're so beautiful and funny on top of it.
I just think that you are doing so much good.
I don't want to cry again. They're doing so much
good for young girls, especially to be able to look
up to someone like you who is so beautiful and
talented and such a star. But you're also so relatable
(54:54):
and you talk about life in the real ways and
you let people know that like you're in in on
this life too, you're going through it. Also, it's like
it doesn't make people feel like their failures or they're
never gonna be something great. And I just think that
that's so so so valuable to be that way, especially
in this climate and this but it's needed. I mean,
(55:19):
we like, I just think about all the young girls
because I struggled so much as a young girl of
insecurity and feeling lost and just wanting somebody out there
that I could look up to that made me feel
like it was okay that I wasn't it was so
insecure in a hot mess and didn't know anything. I
felt lost and didn't know how to navigate life and
was struggling. And the fact that you share that's just
(55:39):
such a blessing. It really is. Thank you. I I like,
I think it's important for us to all do that.
I have really tried to. I mean, it freed may up.
You know. I think it's important to share your truth. Also,
it's important to know what to not share. That's so yeah,
like holding a relationship quote, like like knowing what's for
(56:01):
you yep, setting boundaries for yourself and being good to
people and having a good time. If I want to
be a good person and have a good time at
the same time, well you're crushing it. And Lauren, I
am so thankful for this interview. I always and my
interviews with Leave Your Light. So what do you want
(56:23):
people to know about me or just in general anything?
This is pretty open ended. Maybe both well, I just
I want people to know that we're all in this together,
especially this year. I think this year has really taught
us that, um, like even you know, the masks and
(56:44):
all the stuff that we're having to do, that's for
other people to protect other people. So I think for me,
I've just had this like realization that we just gotta
do what's right and love others and do and and
do what we feel is right and trust our guy
and I love the people that mean a lot to
us and and and love them more like I've loved
(57:05):
more this year, loved more fully. So I think this
year has been the worst year, but there are good
things that can come from it, and we just have
to find a way to focus on those. And I
have a new album coming out next year, so that
week sciting, I'm almost done with it. And oh and
(57:26):
I forgot to even talk to it back out. I
forgot to even talk about your music Getting good. Oh
my god, Lauren, that song makes me cry. And also
Trish Year was on it, which is amazing. But like
that song, that should be the motto for life in general.
But because it's like, once you realize that you can
(57:48):
bloom where your planet, you have to wait for this.
You don't have to wait for the money, you don't
have to wait for the relationship, you don't have to
wait for whatever to have a good life, Like a
good life starts now right where you are. And that
is so profound. I mean, I'm an emotional hot mess
up told that's a good way to end it right there.
Life is good right where you are. What are your
plants right underneath your fate? Fath agen? But that song
(58:13):
is so good getting good to so what a great message.
And honestly, Lauren, you are a bright light to this world.
And I hope you know how well how beautiful you
are on the inside. But you are so beautiful on
the outside, and I hope you know that because I
know how hard you are on yourself, because I have.
I suffered from the same problem. But you are so
(58:36):
stunningly beautiful from head to toe, and then you have
to broken to head to broken toe, and then you
have this heart of gold and sense of humor on
top of it. I just want you to know you
are truly ten out of ten, one in a million,
and I hope that you see that in yourself because
everyone else does. I'm gonna call you every day and
(58:58):
let you give me call every day. I just I
just think you're great. I really do. I think you're
so great. Did you finish your leave a writer? I
interrupt you? I think I finished with Hey no, we
kind of tag teamed on it. Hey Awfred telling everybody
learn to grow where you're planet. That's when life starts
(59:18):
getting good. I know it's been a rough year, but
we're gonna get through it together. Lauren, You're amazing. Thank
you so much as interview. I love your heart and
soul and hope you have the best Christmas and holiday.
Oh by the way, this is airing in January, but
we did this before this is over. Christmas. Everyone so
pretty big. Um, You're the best, Lauren. Hi Holiday, I
(59:42):
love you. I love you too. Hapy New Year. I
can't wait to hear the new music. What. I'll send
it to you when I get it done. Okay, bye
bye
Hi, Carolin. She's a queen and talking. She's getting not
afraid of it. So so just let the flu. No
one can do with cry can't learn this sounds care learned.
(00:27):
So this is very exciting. I'm here Lauren Elena, who
I'm obsessed with. She's the sweetest, most talented, most awesome
girl ever. And you got breaking news. This is going
when people hear this interview, this news will already be
out there. But just for the record, this is the
first place that you're telling anyone this breaking news. Right, Yes,
(00:48):
I have. I'm gonna show you a hand. Are you
doing video too? I will, I'll make a little video
of this because it's okay. Oh okay, So are you pregnant?
I have a baby? Oh my god, Lauren, say, my
(01:10):
name's Aufrey Elena. Oh. I named her after the grand
Ole Oupry. Oh say, hi, my name's Abrey. This is
my debut, this is my naby. I UM played the
Opery on the nineteenth, which is the day that I
(01:32):
got her, and I took her on stage and UM
got a picture of her app in the circle at
the Grand Ole Opry. And yeah, so she made her
Aubrey debut. She doesn't really like the bows. I did
that for you, so I'm gonna live a better life
without it. I'm just impressed that you have her in
(01:53):
a bow and clothes, like that's really your crush in
the mom game my childhood one of childhood best friend, Savannah,
came to meet her and brought her this little outfit
and all of those boats, and I was like, oh, well,
I'm a bad mom. I didn't have her any of
these things, but I did get her like an excessive
amount you toys get that. She's so calm, She's always
(02:17):
like this. Did she just let you? She's just hugging you.
Thank you? Do you love mom? Did you'all sleep in
the bed together? No? I put her in a crate?
What well, because I'm afraid she's gonna pay on the bed.
But I'm only I'm only crate training her until she's
(02:37):
potty training and then I'll take her out. Okay, Then
can she sleep in the bed because she's gonna be
sleeping with you in the bed on the bus? Probably right. Well, Listen,
this dog got me up at four o'clock this morning
and it spent the rest of the night in the
bed with me. But I've never had I don't have babies,
and I've never really raised the dogs since I was
like a kid and my parents so so I'm like,
(03:00):
I feel like I understand why my mom's leading nanny's.
I'm like, I need a puppy nanny. I need a person.
I can't bathe, I can't wash the dishes or did
I can't do anything because she's right there with me.
But I've only had her for three days. Right now,
you should get a little. Uh. I wonder if she
(03:21):
would go into like a baby carrier and you could
wear around like people wear their babies. I wonder if
that would work. Not how people get their chores done
with babies. Yeah, yeah, you wear them around because you
can never put your baby down, and I mean unless
they're sleeping. But I mean, I wonder if she's so chill,
she might like to be in a little baby carrier
right next to you. Um, will you send me a
(03:42):
link to a baby carrier? Yeah, there's a dog one,
but I'll send you a baby with link link. If
there's not. People are gonna think I'm insane, but I
don't care. I am obsessed with her already. You love
them the minute you bring them home, did you have
like Buyer's dogg Era? More so, because has every time
I've gotten a couple of puppies. And I love all
(04:03):
my dogs, but like as soon as I get them
and bring them home, I always have like this sheer
moment of panic, like what did I do? Because, like
exactly what you said, They're waking up before in the morning,
They're peeing all over the house, they're chewing stuff, They're
like misbehaving because they don't know how to behave yet.
And I always I'm like, what did I do? I
just wrecked my life? But then it's always the best
decision ever. Well, I think, oh, I am a dog
(04:30):
makeout person too, Like I love a dog that makes out.
Do you like you'll like to make out? I like
a I like a puppy that'll kiss. When she becomes
a dog, I feel like I'm not being like you
don't have puppy breath anymore. You're gonna have to. I
don't know that because she's like my child, like she
feels like my bad like I. And then when that
you damn well and you know what you should do.
(04:52):
You should just start It sounds like you already are
bringing her with you everywhere, so she's so well adjusted
to just being everywhere you are, and like every tons
of different locations in the car, on the bus and
different houses, you know, because then she'll just be so
well adjusted. Yeah. Well, I mean I'm not really going
very many places right now, but I mean it's so
(05:17):
sad we can't go anywhere. Well, I will say, you're
in your closet, which is one of the most beautiful
closets I've ever seen. You know what this I feel
like just from this little glance, I can see so
much about your personality that I love. Like, you're so colorful,
You're such a colorful person. I mean, I'm wearing black,
but I've got some pretty like patterned pants on. And
(05:38):
I love that you got ready in twenty minutes. I
mean you know how to do this, Like you are
stage ready in twenty minutes. Do you sometimes get ready
for stage that fast? Always? Pretty much? Because I'm I'm
usually like out when I'm touring. I like to travel
like outside of the venue and go see the cities.
In Molly, and I'm always my assistant. We always get
(06:00):
sidetracked and then we're getting ready in like twenty minutes
and she's helping me blow draw my hair, and and
somehow we always get ready one time. I don't like
to be light, so I will go with my hair
wet to the mat and great before i'd be late
to it. That's good. What are your like tricks? You
don't have to go into full detail, but like, what
are the like the essentials to get ready super fast
(06:20):
and look like you're supermodel like you do? Like what
are you what do you have to do to like
look this good? This fast? Like? What are the go too?
So right now? What I'll just tell you how I
did my makeup. I did like I have like this Matt, well,
don't look at my fingernails. Okay, I didn't quite make
it to the finger out part. Um. I did like
(06:40):
this Matt concealer, and I do it all my under
my eyes, on my eyelids, down my nose right whatever
this thing is right here, and then I do I
use this um this that changed my life. I contour
my whole face with this body blur vita liberata. I
(07:06):
don't know, it's like a cream, and I put it
all over here here on the double chin deal. And
then I did like a cream a shadow all over
and then I put like a gold shadow and then
just smeared it with my fingers, mascara, a little bit
of eyeliner and some blush and oh and then I
did a little foundation and I use what do I use?
(07:30):
I don't know. Mary gets it. My makeup artist gets
at all. But I just pretty much smeared on my
face as fast as I can. Well looks amazing. Thanks.
Oh and the eyebrows I take, that's what I take
the longest time one. It's my eyebrows. I just interviewed
um the eyebrow gurus who does all the Kardashians eyebrows.
(07:50):
Her name is Kelly Baker, and she was talking to
me about eyebrows because I got my micro bladed where
they do like the little needles and like perfect eyebrows.
If you look close though, you can see the tinting
because they are tinted with their like tattooed. You know,
when you get the thanks, you don't know anything. No,
(08:13):
I don't do anything to my eyebrows. I am all
about the least amount of time. So like I get
I lashed extensions, I have my eyebrows micro bladed. And
that's how I live most days, and then if I
need to like go somewhere and actually be seen in public,
I'll put on some foundation, blush, eyeliner, and so you
have foundation on right now? No, but I mean it's
(08:36):
over zoom. If you saw me up close, you would
see all the imperfections of my face for sure. Now
you have perfect skin your fore God is so shiny
and pretty. Well. I didn't get some fresh botox, which
always makes me feel great. I need to get do
I need to do something to my eyebrows and lash extensions. Well,
I just like eyelash extensions because then you wake up
(08:56):
you feel great. Every day you feel like you look good.
I mean, like, to me, my eyelashes make me feel
so good. When I don't have my eyelashes done, I
feel like a wet boy dog. I have really long
elash just but they're blonde. So if I don't know
if you can say them, can you see my eyelashes? Yeah?
You are just so pretty all? Oh my gosh. The
(09:22):
double chance is I have like eight I can make
them all. What is the deal with like weight going there?
I don't understand like it has to be attached to
your face. Really, I would rather have like enormous arms
than a double chance like I would want if I could, Like, Yeah,
I just don't. I don't like the double chin. No. Well,
(09:44):
this year has not been great for me. I literally
have given up working out pretty much altogether. Every now
and then I try to get a wild hair and
go to hot yoga because I feel like I need
some exercise in my life. But like I pretty much
for the past few years have just said, exercise isn't
for me. I'm was gonna eat like a teenage boy,
so basically ate like cheeseburgers and pizza and mac and
(10:06):
cheese all the time, drink lots of beer, and I
put I've continue I have a solid ten pounds that
I can't lose, and I wonder why, Well, I am
a little bit heavier right now because I went from
dancing with the stars, which made me I was teeny
teeny tiny, and then I broke two bones in my
(10:27):
foot and couldn't walk for nine weeks. So I went
from like eight hours of dancing every single day to
sitting on the couch. I think my body was like,
what do we what's are doing? She she said, no, lut,
did you hear that a door is shut in my house. No,
she doesn't seem to be bothered by it. So do
you have a taser or like a baseball bat? I
(10:49):
got a curling iron. It's hot right here. Actually, that
would be really good, burn him in the face. I
think I'm a fod person, though I don't know. I'm
not like a saper, a violent person. But I think
if someone came in here, they would be they would
regret it unless they shot me because I would put
up a fight. Yeah. Oh yeah, I think I would
(11:10):
be like a crazy person. But well, especially if they
came out after my child Aprey. Um, so did you Okay?
So I watched some of your season with Dancing the
Stars and you were freaking only because I don't ever
I can never fully watch any seasons of anything because
(11:30):
my life is freaking ship too. But I know, but
I definitely tuned in because you were on it and
you're so beautiful, so amazing. Did you break your foot
on the show? No? I actually, um came up home
in fourth place, right, Yeah, I came home and I
(11:51):
did a tour in the end. When I came home
in March for the quarantine, I was taking the trash
out and it had been raining and I had on
like rubber slides, and when I came back in, I
stepped on the car like the hardwood and slipped and
my foot hit the leg like the brass leg of
my couch and broke two bones in my right foot.
(12:12):
And I didn't walk for ten weeks or something ridiculous.
So you just did Dancing the Stars for weeks on
end on end on end, and a dancing the first
tour and then you broke your foot just by a
little slip yep man national television doing like competing for
with dancing, which I did crack a few ribs doing that,
(12:35):
but that wasn't really from falling or anything. It was
just turning my body in weird ways. But um, and
then I came home and broke my foot. So I
went from like working out for eight ten hours a
day to sitting on the couch. I think, do you
want to get down? I'm gonna put her down. Okay,
oh she does not want to get downe he wants
(12:56):
to be with her mama. Um. I went from like
tend I was a dancing and I just sitting on
the couch for eight to sand wakes. So my body
was kind of in shock, and I've just started like
working out again because it messed up my balance for
a while, breaking my two middle bones that connect my
toes to my foot, so I couldn't bend my foot,
(13:17):
I couldn't go upstairs. It was more hurt so badly.
It's better now, but it hurts for a really long time,
and sometimes when it's really cold for some reason, it
hurts like it ate. Yeah, but I snapped the bone
in half. Oh, like the bone was like this was what? Okay?
(13:38):
So like adult pain, you know, like that's some serious
adult pain. What did you did? You just lie on
the floor and just cry, honestly cress out. Well. I
was carrying something back into the house because it was raining,
and um, I held onto that for whatever reason, because
I think if I had put my hands down, I
(13:58):
would have caught myself. But I hold onto these like
lights that were on the patio that I was afraid,
we're I don't know. I was scared to leave them
in the rain, and so I didn't catch myself at all,
and I hit my butt pretty hard and so I
was like, I'm gonna have a bruise in my butt.
I got right up, walked around behind my couch. This
(14:21):
is horrible, and my toe like caught on the carpet
and I was like, oh my god. And my toe
was like not attached to my foot, like the bone
that connects your toe to your foot was snapped. And
I was like, I broke my toast. So I called
my manager and I was like, Trisia. She lives like
(14:41):
half a mile from me. And I was like, Trishia,
I wrote my toe and I was I still didn't
feel it, and she's like, how do you know you
broke it? And I was like, because it doesn't look attached,
and she was like, face time me let me see it. Oh,
So I faced time during she goes, oh, honey, we
(15:02):
gotta call your doctor in the morning. It was like
eleven o'clock at nine. Of course, She's like, you need
to splin it. So I crawled myself into the kitchen
kind of open a yngling flight box and splinted my
toe with this box. When I picked up, yes, when
I picked the toe up, that's when it was like,
(15:25):
my life is over, well life, and then I started crying.
I never cried until I realized for sure it was
broken because my broken toe broke my heart. I was like, um,
we were in a lockdown two, so I knew that
I was gonna be by myself. You know. It was horrible,
So it's not like to have to be by yourself
(15:47):
recover age just in the lockdown in general, and then
with a broken foot and so much pain, it was
pretty bad. I got like groceries delivered, which I've done anyway,
but I had to get a scooter. So tricious mom,
my manager's mom had a scooter from when she from
which she had me or some kind of surgery broke
her and collisions that I can't remember. Anyway, she had
(16:07):
a scooter, so I scooted around my house forever, and um,
I did everything they told me that. I still can't
bend it right, Still a little weird when i've been it,
but yeah, not what you want in a pandemic to
break something that makes you be able to move around.
And before that, I was walking like four or five
(16:28):
miles a day just outside trying to get my like
it took me about five hours to do it. So
don't think I'm some sort of fitness animal, but I
would just go for walks you know, and then I
couldn't do that. I was like, I'm gonna actually lose
my mind because I'm like the most extroverted person in
the world, so for me to be locked in a
house is it's like a way to torture me. And
(16:51):
then I broke my foot, so I was like, I'm
just gonna eat. So I pretty much ate pizza and
ice cream and felt right for myself for about eight weeks,
and then I was like, we shouldn't have done this
to ourselves. So I've tried to start working out again
and eating clean. Like actually, the last two days I
was like, this is it. I'm not gonna I'm gonna
(17:13):
eat well. And I did it yesterday and so far today,
so we'll see how dinner goes. Okay, really into soup,
you know what, I'm really into soup. Soup? Do you
make soup? I don't cook. Hell no, I'm just telling
you if you ever want to start cooking, I'm anna
actually a pretty good cook. But I feel like if
you're not a good cook, soup to the way to go,
(17:35):
because you just throw it in the pot and let
it live its life and then you eat it and
they keep really well so you can keep them in
the fridge and you can freeze them and it's cold,
and like everybody wants a soup. I'm making a chicken
abruptly soup tonight. Oh hella la. So I am Betty Crocker.
Now I live at home. How's it been not being
(17:58):
on the road? Has that been like a big adjustment?
Because I feel like you were just a touring machine.
You've towards with so many amazing people. Jason twice. I
just realized, Yeah, ward of him twice. Actually, every tour
I think I've been on, I've been on it twice. Good.
You're so good. They everyone wanted to toward with Luke twice.
(18:22):
I toured with Luke twice. I toward with Jason twice,
Luke Bryan. Um, I toured with like Shelton twice, Colspindale twice.
My boys bring me back out my buddies, Um yeah,
I to I play like between a hundred and twenty
and hundred and fifty shows a year, typically sometimes more
(18:44):
than that with radio shows. UM. So it has been
like weird for me. What have you when I've operated
that way for ten years and I'm not married and
I don't have a fan only I got this puppy.
She's keeping the company now. But before that, I was
just like, what am I gonna do? Like, what am
(19:06):
I gonna do? What have you discovered about yourself in
this pandemic, not touring, being pretty much with just yourself,
Like what what have you discovered? I think the biggest
thing I discovered is that I didn't have hobbies outside
of work. Became pretty clear to me about three weeks
(19:30):
in because I was kind of in shock, you know,
I think the whole world was in shock for a minute.
And then when like the shock, we're off and I
started settling into the fact that I was indefinitely going
to be home. People were asking me, you know, everyone
was doing interviews and all this stuff, and people are
asking me, so, what are you doing to like fill
up your time? Well, I kind of like to clean.
(19:53):
I know that. Like, look, I love to clean, color
coordinated this whole closet. Like I'm that person, you know,
like the I met it, you hume at it yourself. Yeah,
I do. They could hire me. I could work for them.
They're better at it than I am. But like I'm
a big believer in baskets and color coordination and just
like things being together. Um, but I realized, like, I
(20:15):
don't have hobbies. So once I bought my house that
I'm in right now February of this year, oh my god,
and then the shutdown happened the very next month. Yeah,
so after and when I was saying the shock, I
was like, well, this would be fine because I was
selling my old house and I was gonna just like
slowly move into this one. But then I was like
(20:36):
when I was home, then I was home, so I
got it all done and then sort of everything and
color coordinating and got everything. So once that was done,
I realized, what am I gonna do? Now? That's not
like music because I can't tour and I'm still writing obviously,
but there's only so much writing you can do when
you're sitting in your house every day. It starts to
(20:57):
become like an issue of what you're to write about.
You know, you only go through the archives so far
before you're like, I don't know any I have any
more thoughts. And so I think the biggest thing I
realized is I don't have hobbies. So I've been really
intentional to try to figure out things that I like
outside of work. So I've been hiking. I like to hike.
I am a big puzzle person. Someone someone literally recommended
(21:23):
why don't you do a puzzle? And everyone for my
birthday this year got me puzzles, and I'm like living
my best life on the kitchen table, just like drinking
a glass of wine doing a puzzle. I am here
for the puzzles. So I like puzzles. I've been reading
a lot. I just finished a book that literally made
(21:44):
me sob into a puddle. Do you like where the
crawdads sing? Where the crawdads sing? Oh? No. I've been
listening to Matthew McConaughey's Green Lights on audio, which that's
been a really good one. But okay, how do you
get that well? And also he talks, so it's like
the way he speaks, you know about McConaughey. He's reading
the book. Oh yeah, aired up? We Mommy's loud him
(22:10):
not um. So you love to read, that's great. So
I have to read, which I did some reading on
the road, but I don't think I gave it, like
I don't think I gave anything outside of music enough time,
if that makes sense, because I'm so work like minded.
(22:30):
I'm just really work. Like I love to work. I
love it. It's not even something that it's like a chore.
Like I genuinely love everything about my job. I mean,
it wears me out like everybody's jobs do. But like
I love interacting with people, I love being on stage.
And I was so fulfilled with that that I didn't
really I feel like I needed things outside of it.
(22:52):
But now I think I'm gonna after this year, after
when we get back to life, I'm gonna implement some
of my hobbies more so that I because I would
occasionally burn out, you know, and I would be like overwhelmed,
And then I didn't know what I like to do.
I did not know what I like to do outside
of work because I did it so much. But so yeah,
I was like, and I love to cook. So from
(23:13):
now on, when I come home one day a week,
I will cook. Things like that, I will change. But
I didn't have hobbies. I work a lot of hobbies.
You do puzzles, you like to cook, you go hiking,
you got a dog. I mean that's a lot of hobbies.
I don't know. I didn't know any of those things.
I would never have known that I liked those things though,
without having to kind of stop for a second and
(23:34):
figure out what I do. Like I like to drink wine.
Does that kind of a hobby. Yeah, I mean I'm
really consistent with that. Also, never watched TV in my
whole life, never been a TV watcher. I am unhealthily
obsessed with forensic files. And have you ever watched forensic
files and think, you know, that's scary, like an old
old show. I like them because they solved them. They
(23:58):
freak up so bad when they don't solve them, Like
I can't. I watched Unsolved Mysteries and like I was like,
this is not good for me. But Forensic Falls is
like a show from the nineties I think or early
two thousands, and when d n A like research started
kicking in, they solved all these murders that had happened
like the seventies because they didn't have DNA like research.
(24:21):
I'm fascinated with it true. Are they true cases or
is it fictional? It's real people, Yeah, you can, Like
I've even when I really feel passionately about the story,
I've looked him up past the show. How did you
even land on that? Like, out of all the things
that you could have gone to on Netflix, Hulu, paramout,
I mean all Apple TV. How like there's all these
(24:41):
like cutting edge, new hot shows up there. How did
you go to floor Forensic Falls? Yeah, well, um, it's
I I watched it when I was little with my dad.
I remember I didn't watch it. I wasn't really allowed
to watch it, but I remember him watching it and
I saw it and I called him. I was like,
they just released it on Netflix or something. So it
(25:02):
was like a new recommendation. And I called my dad
and I was like, Dad, did you watch that Forensic
File show? And he was like, yeah, it's the best.
So I was like, I'm gonna give it a go.
And I got sucked in. I'm on like season four
of nine, and there's like forty episodes in the season,
but the perfect they're only twenty minutes fifteen to twenty minutes.
(25:23):
So it's like for someone who doesn't sit down often,
it's a good thing for me to like, all right,
for twenty minutes, I'm gonna sit here and be still.
That's a good that's good in it. You have endless
episodes to watch, so that's great. It's gonna last you
for a long time, and it'll definitely get you through,
hopefully until touring starts again, which apply it doesn't. I
(25:43):
need to stop watching TV so much. But okay, So,
speaking of your dad, you were like you and your
dad are like bfs. I feel like y'all post really
funny videos and I feel like your dad is like
totally a jokester and like he loves to be goofy
with you. Is that like? Is that? Did you? Are
you a daddy's girl? Because I feel like you and
(26:04):
him were just like the little best of friends. We
are your mom too, Well, I'm really close with both
of my parents. My dad's a recovering alcoholic, so I
was not super close with him as a teenager. Um,
we kind of clashed, but my dad went to rehab
when I was eighteen. It's really huge, Yeah, very huge,
(26:27):
and so and he's been sober ever since. So when
he came out of rehab, we just kind of he
sat me down, and, um, I think a part of
your twelve step program is to make amends. So I
know it is a part of part of the twelve
step program is to make amends. And so my dad
kind of had a list of people that he felt
(26:48):
he needed to talk to and he wrote me this
letter kind of explaining how sorry he was to me.
He kind of own it up for some things and
really taking ownership of his actions, and he said, I'll
never forget this, he said, So what can I do
to fix these things? Man? I just have chills and
I want to cry. That's a really big deal, I mean,
(27:10):
and I said, you just did, and just like him
acknowledging it, we just kind of reset and we are
like best butts. I mean, we were really, really really cless.
So that has to be kind of crazy because you
probably didn't really know the true dad, your true dad,
because if he was under the influence of alcohol your childhood,
(27:32):
you probably met him like for like the first time
as who he true. Tell people that. I tell people
that I think it was awesome, you know what. I'm
just like him for him to have like we have
the exact same personality, but he Um. The interesting thing
about my father's alcoholism is like my dad went to
(27:54):
work every single day. You know, it's just like a
different It wasn't like a person that stayed on the
couch drunk seven but he had a really bad drinking
problem when he came home, so he still went to
work and provided for the family, and then he would
kind of go through ways where he would quit, but
he didn't really quit, but he would quit, and then
he didn't really quit. So it's kind of a I mean,
(28:16):
I got glimpses of my dad along the way, but
that it was really Alcoholism is a horrible disease because
it's different for everyone and there are no like rules
to it. Like every every experience is different. I mean,
if you've been in an alcohol or like an addicts home,
(28:36):
there are things that people who also grew up with
an addict like I did, that we're just like, yeah,
I know exactly what we're talking about, but everyone's experience
is a little bit different. So I did feel like
I kind of knew my dad, but then my dad
would be like different all of a sudden, you know
what I mean. Um, we suffered quite a bit of
(28:57):
loss in my childhood. She's having a nightmare. Oh okay,
you're such a sweet mama. Why does that make you
want to cry? Wasn't you comfort your dog? That's so sweet?
But he um, I mean, my love for music came
from my dad, so that was something that we always
(29:18):
bonded with growing up. He played guitar for me a
lot um. But yeah, we're we're best at buds now
and I'm so proud of him, and he's such an
example to others because we I mean, my my grandfather,
his dad, Um, committed suicide when I was seven, and
then um when when I was ten, my mom's mom
(29:42):
suddenly passed away. So we had two pretty like significant
things happened. And he was in the army and he
had severe PTSD like night terror's bad, and so I
think just kind of all the collection of all of that,
and he was a young dad and he lost his
dad really young, just you know, unfortunately he resorted to
(30:03):
alcohol um to kind of suppress all of that stuff.
But he was still the funniest guy in the room
and he was always still like great. I mean, he
was a great dad. He just you know, we all
have problems, but he's great now, man, And he's seven
seven years sober, and my my nephews will never know
(30:27):
him like that, and that makes me so excited for
them and the nephews. My nephews have been a really good,
like reset for the whole family because my parents divorced
and now they're friends, and that's so cool that they're friends.
They're tow and we last year had our first Christmas
together again as a family, and then you were doing
that as well, so broad and COVID tested and as
(30:51):
long as everyone's clear, we're gonna have my mom and
my dad and my brother and his children and his wife. Um.
I think it's really good for the kids, you know,
and also just how amazing that your parents can see
the love they have for each other. Obviously not together
(31:12):
as a couple anymore, but they created beautiful children, they
have all this life together, Like to be able to
come together as a family, like that's just so special, Lauren,
that's awesome. Yeah, I'm pretty thankful that they got there,
you know. I know a lot of families don't ever
ever get there. So I'm proud of them, and I
mean it makes me excited for myself to like I
(31:34):
always say it's exciting for like my nephews, but like,
really those are my parents. And I remember after their divorce.
The hardest times with their divorce were like birthday parties
and holidays, because that's like within that very clearly changes
after a divorce. But we got through it and their
(31:55):
friends again, and we all kind of got into a
place of healing. So that's really and and when mom
asked for the divorces, when Dad went to rehab, so
I think it was like a wake up call for him.
So in a way, I think the divorce kind of
gave my dad a whole new life, all of us
a whole new life. It's not divorce is horrible and sad,
(32:16):
and no one ever wants that to happen. But looking
back on it now, I can see how, you know,
maybe they weren't right for each other, and they got
us out of it and we got a whole family
from it, and now they're friends, so it's all good.
That makes me so emotional. Lauren, Wow, what I just
(32:37):
a what are ademptive story? Too? Though? You know, it's
like this world and this life is so messy, and
it's humans just dealing with our own problems, in our
own pain and then coming together with marriage and children
and pressures and stress and trauma and all sorts of stuff.
It's really hard for people to keep it together some times.
(33:00):
You know, a lot of the times we all suffer,
and so to be able to have a full circle
moment like that, that's just that's just the dream, that's
the hope. So that's really awesome. Yeah, I'm I'm proud
of my family. I think everybody's kind of done their work. Yeah,
exactly around like we're all doing that. We're all messy people.
You know, who isn't I don't know. But once I
(33:24):
started like telling the truth about my life, I felt
so much more free, you know, and we're all messed
up and people like, look at people in the public.
I think we're not messed I'm gonna go ahead and
tell you we got the family members in the front
yard fighting at Thanksgiving. To you, I'm just gonna tell
you we did. Why is that? Like? I feel that
(33:44):
same way, And it's been so so so important to
me to share all sides of myself because I feel like,
for the longest time, I felt like I had to
meet this level of perfection. I thought they were actually
people in the world who were living perfect lee and
that had it all together and the standards that had
to be met. And then I think I've just now
(34:05):
gotten to know so many incredible people, so many people
in the public, I so many people who have done
amazing things in their life and they still have messes.
Everyone has a mess, Like there is no perfect life.
You just have to navigate your own. Like you said,
do the work, do yourself discovery. He'll let your speak
your truth. Say what, how, what happened to you as
(34:27):
a child, what you live through? Like the truth about
your family and with respecting your family obviously, but it's
just like I feel that same way. And you and
I both um you shared about this, struggled with eating disorders.
I was bulimic for um in high school and into
college a little bit, and I know you have shared
about that, and and it's a it's a hard thing.
(34:49):
But like as soon as I told people that I
struggled with blooming and eating disorders and I was addicted
to diet hills and all sorts of stuff, like I
just felt like I could let go of all this shame.
It really is interesting. I never planned to talk about
my eating disorder. But I don't know if I told
you this, But I was doing an interview supporting road
Less Trap, which I wrote around that topic. Right, I
(35:14):
was like people were on Facebook call me fat, and
I was sixteen, and there were these blogs that would
put a pix now on my face and call me
miss Piggy and like, oh people could people were really cruel,
but you know what those are. People were hurting and
I played sixteen that's hard to process. Yeah, it was
(35:36):
not good. It was not good, and um I struggled
with just about every reading disorder you can think of,
I mean the only I mean, yeah, I I would
go without eating. I was, but I had like bulimia
and and their act I think at the same time.
And then I did like every diet you can imagine,
(35:58):
and uh like I did injections into my body when
I was still like growing, you know, and it was
just like just not good, not not good, and um
I it was pretty protective of all of that, honestly.
Never like my father did not know, which we weren't
(36:19):
super close then. But I did an interview promoting the
album and the or the song before the album ever
came out, and Real just traveled, I mean pretty much
says the other people can't tell you, like they don't
define what's beautiful, right, Like that's the whole thing, is
like do your the own thing, be your own person
(36:40):
that no, thank you, nobody can define me. And I
was doing this like Facebook Live, I'll never forget it.
And they were like, there are girls on here right
now that would just do anything to have your confidence.
You're so confident, You've always been so confident, And what's
your trick And I was like, um, well, I mean honestly,
(37:04):
I don't I don't really have a trick. And my
manager at the time was just not the right person
for me, not the right fit. Lots of things happened
that shouldn't have happened financially, and like the just a
lot of bad garbage. Well, um, she had encouraged me
(37:25):
like not to share about it about my eating disorder
and stuff, which I feel like she was a big
catalyst for that lifestyle for me because of like the
language she used and how important my weight seemed to be. Yeah,
it's like the image, the perfect image was really important.
(37:47):
The path making the package look perfect. Gotta be this,
you gotta be that. That's the sixteen seventeen year old girl.
I was just trying to do what people were telling me,
you know, and I just and you got catapulted into it.
I mean like you were on America and I don't pizza.
I hate pizza for lunch. Every day, and then people
called me fat and I was like, well, I guess
I won't eat the pizza anymore, you know. So then
(38:09):
I was blame making all this stuff. And I was
in this interview and they said, what's your trick, and
I said, well, honestly, I don't have a trick. I
struggled with them eating this sort of like seven years.
And they were like what, and I was like, yeah,
I've really struggled with blame. You really, wow, Lauren. And
I don't know what or why or how like, but
(38:32):
when I walked out of that room, I felt like
I just told the tricks of the first time, you know.
Did that feel so good? I felt like all that
weight I was trying to lose was just a burden
I was carrying on my shoulders. It wasn't about my
like pant sauce I was in, like I was carrying
that like quote unquote white of this like secret. And
(38:55):
the whole way I ever even got found out that
I was having problems with an indianustory was my mom
was traveling with me, and I think she started realizing,
I don't know what it seems to be not eating
or go into the bathroom after she eats, and just
like every time. And I think mothers have like this
instinct with their child when they know when they're sick
or they know when they're hurting. And so I went.
(39:17):
I was started having problems with my voice, which obviously
throwing up is not good for your vocal cords, right
because think about when you're sick, it makes you horse
or whatever. So I was just really horse all the time.
And I went to a vocal core doctor and my
mother had like tipped this guy off, this doctor that
he she thought I was struggling and she didn't know
(39:39):
how to approach me about it, so she had him
do it. And we were sitting in the room and
he said, have you ever had an eating disorder anything
that you know there's any kind of acidity that could
be like affecting your vocal cords. And I said no, no, no,
And my mother was sitting in the room and she
goes Lauren, and just the tone of her voice, I
(40:00):
was like, oh no, and I was. So I took
two weeks off and um, I went to a beach
house just with my mom and kind of reset a
little bit. And um, she told me that she wanted
me to start looking at the mirror every day and
saying three things that I loved about myself and I'll
never forget. Like I couldn't say one thing. And then
(40:22):
finally I was like, I like my eyelashes and that
was the only thing. And I think it was such
an eye opening moment for me to look in the mirror,
like look at myself and not be able to find
anything I liked about myself. Was there was a moment
where I was like, oh, I like humanized me to me,
you know what I mean, And um. I struggled for
(40:44):
a couple more years after that. Honestly, I think it
was about UM. I started experimenting with um being unhealthy
with my food and stuff in six or seventh grade,
and I think I finally got like better to the
point where it didn't consume my entire life when I
was about Ninetina twittery and then UM, you know, it's
(41:07):
still like a thing that I deal with. I will
always deal with it, like when I have to be
really intentional to not overeat because I would I went
through a phase where I would like eat to the
point where it would make me sick, and so like
I have to be really really careful not to get
that feeling like and I have a therapist specifically for that,
so if I ever feel like I'm not doing well.
(41:30):
Like before Dancing with the Stars, I had a very
um I I relapsed a little bit and I was
not in a good mindset. So I started seeing her
again and just kind of got myself ready to go
out there. And because the the whole TV thing, because
oh man, and everyone's just having their opinions and weighing
in on everything you're doing. How you look what I mean,
(41:52):
You're getting literally judged every single day. And I'm not
in America. You know, I'm not like being John what
I've looked like. It's because I could sink chill about
my hips. I know, Lauren, I know, and I um
I feel the same way. Honestly. What really helped me
(42:13):
the most? God everything makes you cry of these days.
I when I got pregnant, Like I'm thirty seven years
old right now, and I have always since I was
about in like probably fifteen fourteen fifteen. I started with it,
and then I got addicted to prescription diet pills and
I was nineteen. I was addicted to those for like
ten years and I felt like I could not live
(42:34):
without them. And then so I kind of like weaned
off of bliemia, moved more into prescription diet pills, and
then I would like do this binging where I was
like binge a ton, but then I would go work
out like all day to like work off the calories
that I ate, and then I would take, you know,
I take diet pills for the next three days and
I wouldn't eat and I work out every day so
I could like cancel out what I did and it
(42:56):
was just a living help. And finally, like I started
and her therapist also about it and has that helped
a lot. But when I got pregnant, I was like,
for the first time, I was like living for another
human inside of me, and I was like I can't
be this way, Like I cannot be probably, I mean
(43:18):
it was like the first time I was like I
can't be this way when I'm I can't care about
this when I'm growing a child inside of me, like
I have to be bigger than this, and it was
so hard, but like that gave for the It was
the first time I truly anytime I felt like having
a like a relapse for feeling beating myself up about it,
(43:40):
Like I could always just go to that and be like, Okay,
I'm doing this, I am staying this, I'm staying mentally
sound about this. I'm not gonna judge myself. I'm not
gonna beat myself up because I'm there's a life inside
of me. And that's really like the biggest turning point
I've ever had, because I've struggled with it my whole
life too. It's like and then like now that I'm
like ten pound heavier, like I find myself because I
(44:01):
had gotten to a place where I was feeling kind
of good before I got pregnant. I was like doing
how yoga all the time. I was feeling like I
had it in check, and I was like, oh, I
don't have a problem anymore. I'm good. And then now
that I've gained weight again, I find myself obsessing about
it and like stressing out and I see all these
like fat roles, and I'm like, I can see myself.
I think I get better, but then you you you,
you let you get a little bit out of your
(44:22):
perfection zone, and I can can find myself falling back
down the hole again. And I'm like stop it, Caroline,
like this is nobody cares, Like, well, the problem with
you is people weigh in on you all the time.
Like you're having people comment on you all the time.
That has to be so hard, but it's just yeah,
but we just have to learn that. Like it's just
it's like those opinions are irrelevant, right, they're not. They
(44:45):
don't define us. And like, I, um, it's really interesting
to hear you say that about like having a child,
because I think I had the same experience but reversed.
I was the child. It was like the time that
like it really kind of helped me to be like
because it was my mother looking at her child and
(45:07):
seeing and like you don't want to disappoint like as
much your daughter doesn't want to disappoint you as much
as like I didn't want to disappoint my mom even
though she's a baby still, right, how old is she won? Yeah,
so but you know she doesn't want to upset you already,
so like for you, you protect her, she protects you.
(45:28):
And that's like so interesting that it was like the
same thing, but I was a child in there, Like
my mom was like, honey, you can't well and your mom,
Like you're you're like exactly what you're saying, Like your
mom was probably aching for you, like as much as
you were struggling, like when she felt it, like she
(45:48):
was probably struggled just as much, you know, because that
vond that you have with your mom parents, a daughter
mom von, I mean with your parents in general, with
a daughter mom vond like she feels your pay you know,
and you feel like you feel hers, and when you ache,
she aches. So I mean, that's really that's really awesome
that she was there for you, Lauren, like that she
could help you see the beauty and yourself because you
(46:10):
got thrown into so much so young. I could be
like I mean believe and over a long period of
time causes fear health problems like heart problems and like
stomach lining problems, like all of this just gets affected.
And I did it consistently every mill probably for four years.
(46:34):
So that's that's a long time, you know. And I
feel like if I hadn't gotten help, I would have like,
I mean, you can lose your teeth very luckily. Yeah,
So I'm thankful my mom. My mom probably saved my
life doing that. So I'm so proud of you, Lauren,
You've been through. I mean, you have so many amazing successes,
(46:56):
number one songs, you obviously you've been on Dancing with
the Stars. You're beautiful spirit inside and out. But like
with a rocket ship, rise to fame, with being in
the public eye, with being so young, I mean, like nobody,
and I feel like people are learning this more who
aren't in an entertainment industry, who are sitting around just
like judging people who they think are famous and have
(47:18):
all this going in their life. But like it is,
there is such another side of pressure in keeping up
and feeling you have to be this image or if
you're not that you won't be successful, or you'll be
dropped or people won't like you. And like, like you said,
you may have even a manager who's supporting that lifestyle,
and it's like the pressure is so much. Human beings
(47:42):
aren't designed to be famous. No, that's a good point.
We're just not you know, we're not like that. We're
not humans aren't designed to be like elevated from other humans.
So it's like we don't like it. I can tell
you the difference between let's say Savannah, my my child
(48:05):
and best friend who just brought all these sweet little
bows and outfits for my pup here. The only difference
between Savannah and May grew up in the same town,
very similar childhoods, all kinds of stuff. The only difference
between me and Savannah is that I can sing and
she can't. That is the only thing. So I don't
have some sort of skill outside of the fact that
(48:28):
I can sing that prepares me to be like famous,
and nobody does right, like right, we learned, like the
hardest part about what we do is the fame part.
Famous a blessing and a curse because the more famous
you are, the more people you can connect, but also
if you're not careful, it makes you more disconnected. You know,
the more famous you get, you connect with more people outwardly,
(48:50):
but you connect with people less inwardly, and so you
have it's like a really scary thing to navigate, especially
to a young age, which I'm super thankful now because
I was young and that my mom was able to
be like, we gotta get her some help to deal
with this, and so like I had influences of my
like parental influences helping me into like get my head
(49:11):
wrapped around everything, and then my I had some pretty big,
like life changing things happened in the last three years
that like I just threw myself into therapy and I
like realized, yeah, I went to this place, got on
site that changed my life. Um. And I did like
a therapy retreat program after I lost my stepdad, and
(49:34):
it like really I went through because I was grieving
so much his like his death. And then once I
got there, I realized that, like there was all the
these other things too that I was aching from that
I didn't realize like if I could handle those things better,
I could handle anything better. So, um, but the same
(49:54):
thing is the one thing I've really had to focus
on because we are not designed to be famous. We're
just not, you know, and it's a lot of pressure,
and um, I just want to use my platform for
good and like to make people laugh and make people
feel happy. And it's really hard when you see people
(50:15):
using your platform, like on my social media pages for negativity,
and then it's like what am I doing this for?
Because then you feel like you're you're making the space
for that. But like I I've learned I can just
control myself and I've set boundaries around my life, like
I will never talk about my personal relationships again. I mean,
(50:37):
like boyfriends. I've had two pretty brutal public breakups and
like I have a boyfriend right now and I've never
spoken about him, Like no one knows who he is.
He's wonderful, but he's mine. And I feel like Dolly
Pardon's killed that. Yes, I don't even knew she was
married this whole time. She's married and has a whole
(50:58):
life outside of her life, and that's like she has
handled faying the best. We all need to take the
paige out of Dolly Partner's book. Dolly Partner is like
the pro at life. Like I mean, she is ultimate
goals in everyone. She always turns it into like a
learning lesson. She always can stay happy and positive, put
(51:18):
a spin on it. But she has those boundaries, those
strong boundaries. Can hear people, Yeah, she's fantastic. Would I'll
be like Dolly Parton, Amen a man. And she's freaking
beautiful and she embraces some plastic surgery and looking good.
She has fun with it the whole time. I mean,
who and her wigs, Oh, do you know, she's like
(51:39):
a tractor trailer full of wigs that go everywhere with her.
I love it. I love it. Why aren't we all
wearing wigs? Let's talk about that. I know, right, I've
been like, honestly, I've been kind of like I have
this cow lick right here that there's like nothing I
can do about, Like I don't know what I literally
it's like what what is? What is this? And if
I wear a wake, you wouldn't know that. I think
(52:00):
wigs are the way to go because I always like
to do really extreme things and I'm like emotionally and
feeling ricked a little bit. In is finally hitting me,
like it's been hitting me this whole time, but like
I've been having like a little constant breakdowns lately, and
I'm just like I think I'm just gonnadye. My hair
really dark. I think I'm just gonna die my hair dark.
I just need to do something different, be extreme. Well,
(52:21):
I did my blue remember when I was How was it?
Was it? Fun? Was it liberating? It was great? And
if you want to do a fun color like that,
I'll tell you the brand that I used and it
comes out in two weeks. Maybe that's what I need
to do. Maybe don't die the whole thing, but just
like do a wash. And I think that this brand
has like brunette shades too that you could do, like
(52:43):
you could do like a two week I'll look, oh
that's what, and then I can try it on to
see if it's actually something I went and then it wants.
It might look weird and red when it comes out,
because I think for the brunette is probably red under tents, right,
but it looks s aid when it comes out, like
my hair was green for a hot sec. But that's
(53:03):
kind of fun. I mean, go through blue green. I
went through every color and then when it got like green,
I put it back in there. So then I extended
the blue and then it took a really long time.
But they have pastel, purple, pastel pink. That's a good
idea instead of being so dramatic. I mean I'm always
emotionally dramatic. Kind of sent me over my edge a
little bit. I will say, if you um go brown,
(53:29):
it's really hard to get back blonde. Did that too?
I know, so you went brown, and what do you think?
You didn't love it? Well? My eyes looked really blue,
but I don't know. I just it was after my
parents divorced, so I think I was being a bit
rebellious and it just didn't look like me or something.
Look at, my hair is naturally like a sandy blondish
(53:50):
brown color, like a mousey blonde, and so my roots
were lighter than my hair, which wasn't the best look
for me. Yeah, you know. So I don't know, but
I've kind of landed on this in between color. I'm
a little more blond than I typically am right now,
because I was like, why not, it looks so good. Thanks, Lauren.
(54:10):
I think you are just such an inspiration and I
really really love that you share your heart and your story,
and you shared the hard parts of your life, like
when you were doing Dancing the Stars, you did that
really emotional tribute to your stepfather after you passed, Like
you talk about your your eating struggles. You know what
(54:32):
you have to go through with fame, and I think,
and you're so beautiful and funny on top of it.
I just think that you are doing so much good.
I don't want to cry again. They're doing so much
good for young girls, especially to be able to look
up to someone like you who is so beautiful and
talented and such a star. But you're also so relatable
(54:54):
and you talk about life in the real ways and
you let people know that like you're in in on
this life too, you're going through it. Also, it's like
it doesn't make people feel like their failures or they're
never gonna be something great. And I just think that
that's so so so valuable to be that way, especially
in this climate and this but it's needed. I mean,
(55:19):
we like, I just think about all the young girls
because I struggled so much as a young girl of
insecurity and feeling lost and just wanting somebody out there
that I could look up to that made me feel
like it was okay that I wasn't it was so
insecure in a hot mess and didn't know anything. I
felt lost and didn't know how to navigate life and
was struggling. And the fact that you share that's just
(55:39):
such a blessing. It really is. Thank you. I I like,
I think it's important for us to all do that.
I have really tried to. I mean, it freed may up.
You know. I think it's important to share your truth. Also,
it's important to know what to not share. That's so yeah,
like holding a relationship quote, like like knowing what's for
(56:01):
you yep, setting boundaries for yourself and being good to
people and having a good time. If I want to
be a good person and have a good time at
the same time, well you're crushing it. And Lauren, I
am so thankful for this interview. I always and my
interviews with Leave Your Light. So what do you want
(56:23):
people to know about me or just in general anything?
This is pretty open ended. Maybe both well, I just
I want people to know that we're all in this together,
especially this year. I think this year has really taught
us that, um, like even you know, the masks and
(56:44):
all the stuff that we're having to do, that's for
other people to protect other people. So I think for me,
I've just had this like realization that we just gotta
do what's right and love others and do and and
do what we feel is right and trust our guy
and I love the people that mean a lot to
us and and and love them more like I've loved
(57:05):
more this year, loved more fully. So I think this
year has been the worst year, but there are good
things that can come from it, and we just have
to find a way to focus on those. And I
have a new album coming out next year, so that
week sciting, I'm almost done with it. And oh and
(57:26):
I forgot to even talk to it back out. I
forgot to even talk about your music Getting good. Oh
my god, Lauren, that song makes me cry. And also
Trish Year was on it, which is amazing. But like
that song, that should be the motto for life in general.
But because it's like, once you realize that you can
(57:48):
bloom where your planet, you have to wait for this.
You don't have to wait for the money, you don't
have to wait for the relationship, you don't have to
wait for whatever to have a good life, Like a
good life starts now right where you are. And that
is so profound. I mean, I'm an emotional hot mess
up told that's a good way to end it right there.
Life is good right where you are. What are your
plants right underneath your fate? Fath agen? But that song
(58:13):
is so good getting good to so what a great message.
And honestly, Lauren, you are a bright light to this world.
And I hope you know how well how beautiful you
are on the inside. But you are so beautiful on
the outside, and I hope you know that because I
know how hard you are on yourself, because I have.
I suffered from the same problem. But you are so
(58:36):
stunningly beautiful from head to toe, and then you have
to broken to head to broken toe, and then you
have this heart of gold and sense of humor on
top of it. I just want you to know you
are truly ten out of ten, one in a million,
and I hope that you see that in yourself because
everyone else does. I'm gonna call you every day and
(58:58):
let you give me call every day. I just I
just think you're great. I really do. I think you're
so great. Did you finish your leave a writer? I
interrupt you? I think I finished with Hey no, we
kind of tag teamed on it. Hey Awfred telling everybody
learn to grow where you're planet. That's when life starts
(59:18):
getting good. I know it's been a rough year, but
we're gonna get through it together. Lauren, You're amazing. Thank
you so much as interview. I love your heart and
soul and hope you have the best Christmas and holiday.
Oh by the way, this is airing in January, but
we did this before this is over. Christmas. Everyone so
pretty big. Um, You're the best, Lauren. Hi Holiday, I
(59:42):
love you. I love you too. Hapy New Year. I
can't wait to hear the new music. What. I'll send
it to you when I get it done. Okay, bye
bye
Host
Caroline Hobby
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