This week on GET REAL Podcast...RAQUELLE STEVENS and TANYA RAD!
RAQUELLE STEVENS appears alongside Selena Gomez in her recent documentary, “My Mind & Me,” as well as, “Selena+Chef,” on HBO. She is also the host of, "Giving Back Generation," podcast.
TANYA RAD is a co-host of, “On Air with Ryan Seacrest,” and, “Scrubbing In,” podcast with Becca Tilley.
Together, RAQUELLE and TANYA are the authors of, “The Sunshine Mind,” a book sharing hope for those struggling with mental health, relationships, etc.
IN THIS EPISODE, we talk:
• Prioritizing your INNER LIFE
• Being open to the OPPORTUNITY but not attached to the OUTCOME
• Living for JESUS
• Honoring WHO you are
• Knowing your STRENGTHS
Grab a copy of Raquelle and Tanya’s new book, “The Sunshine Mind: 100 Days to Finding the Hope and Joy You Want,” HERE!
Listen to RAQUELLE STEVENS and TANYA RAD on GET REAL Podcast...NOW!
Connect with RAQUELLE and TANYA:
Instagram: Raquelle / TanyaTanya's Podcast: Scrubbing In
Raquelle's Podcast: Giving Back Generation
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, Hi, Caral. She's a queen. She's getting not afraid
of fing so just let it flow. No one can
do with qui Caral. This sounds Caroline. Okay. So I
(00:28):
am here with two actual human form versions of Walking Sunshine.
I have Tanya and Raquel, and they have this new
book called The Sunshine Mine. I love it. Y'all are
so cool, it's so awesome. How's it going girls? Thank you.
We're so happy to be here with you. This is
(00:49):
like kind of the tail end of our interviews that
we've been doing. So it's a little bit like it's
kind of bitter sweet, isn't it. Yeah, But it's also
like nice because we were doing stuff before for the
book came out. But now it's like so nice that
the book is out and people are reading it and
kind of are able to express, yeah, what it means
to them and what they're getting from the book. So
it's been really nice. What have y'all found that people
(01:12):
are getting from the book? What is the overall response?
Because this is and I love this book because it's digestible.
Y'all have like a hundred little bites of key things
to do in your life to live in a sunshine
mine because y'all both are very optimistic and positive, and
that's not you aren't just born that way. You'll actually
(01:33):
have practices in place, and this book is those practices.
So what are people telling you that's happening after they
read this? Yeah, well, I thought this was cool. I
was getting coffee the other morning and this mom came
up to me and she said, you know, I got
your book and it's been so nice. My two daughters
have it as well, and each day we've been going
through it together and it's created these moments of bonding
(01:54):
for the three of us. And I was like, Wow,
that's so cool. And I think that's what's amazing about
it being kind of a day at a time and
a journey is it allows room for conversation. So that
was something that was really cool. I've gotten a lot
of dms of people like listening to it on their
way to work and that's helping with their anxiety starting
(02:14):
the day out right. Yeah. I actually heard from a
friend of mine and I think the thing that's so
awesome about faith is that nothing's coincidence and she was
really praying for She didn't tell me exactly what I
was where she was really praying for something in her life,
and she opened to one of the pages and it
was like she said, she literally got her answer right
then and there through our book. And I was like, wow,
(02:34):
Like that's so powerful, do you know what I mean?
Like it's not coincidence that she was on that day
or praying for something specific. And so I just think
it's cool to see the book meeting people where they are.
So y'all are so young to have all this wisdom,
Like y'all are so ahead of a game. How did
you gather all this wisdom? And how do you know
(02:54):
these things? Being so young and beautiful in the height
of like all things happening your world to know this
kind of like elevated spiritual knowledge to the keys of life.
I mean, y'all have done some real research out there
in the world. Y'all figured some stuff out. I will say,
for me, Raquel has been a big, a big force
in that space it. You know, it was a struggle
(03:18):
for me. You know, I think that I do I
have the sunshine mind. It's in me, it's in my spirits,
in my faith. But I've had a lot of challenges
in my life where I can I can kind of
waver and I can kind of get caught up in things,
and I feel like Raquel is that person that's always
really sturdy and stable. And I always say like a rock,
because it's just like she is. She's just like that rock.
(03:41):
She's stable, she's steady, she's consistent. And so I mean,
I think I owe a lot to you. Well, but Tanya,
I will say, Tanya's energy is sunshine. She walks into
a room, your tone, you're how you carry yourself as
sunshine all the time, which is amazing and really necessary
in the world today. But for me, so, I grew
(04:02):
up going to church and my faith was a big
part of my life, but I wouldn't say fully put
it into practice until my teen years. And then when
I was moving to LA everybody was like, oh my gosh,
you're going to move to LA, you lose your soul
like you know that actually like the opposite, and I
found it actually just pushed me further into my faith.
So being in so many situations with people who were
(04:24):
really struggling, being in situations that were dark, seeing so
much of not even just in La but so much
around the world, it really pushed me to fully relying
on my faith and then understanding that that really is
the only way to living a peaceful, free life. So
the stuff that we talk about in the book, like
(04:44):
I've really had to kind of do the work to
live it out because without doing that, it just led
to a lack of peace, if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
And I feel like that's why I'm so impressed that
I'll have this book being so young and vibrant you are,
because you really like to have I feel like to
have a But I feel like people are getting more
(05:06):
awakened earlier too, Like I feel like it's like it's
starting to people are starting to realize like you can't
survive in the material world, you know, like you've got
to have something bigger to sync into or else it's
just emptiness. But I feel like y'all really to know
to be able to have this book and have this
amazing insight, you have to know it. And I feel
like that's the difference between acquiring a faith that you
(05:28):
were raised in and then having your own actual faith
and practices to bring joy to your life, which to me,
this is what this book is. But Roquel, I want
to like, second, what Tanya is saying, because I was
actually talking to Ali, who's my intern chief here here
with me, and we were talking about you, and Ali's
right here, Hello, we're talking. We're talking about you and
(05:51):
Selena Gomez is documentary and you and tanyare just saying
this too. You really have that personality that is that
rock for so many people, because that's what you were
to Selena and that film and the French believe that's
what it appears to be. And then like Tanya seconding it,
you really have this really calming effect on people. It
(06:13):
seems that's so kind. Yeah, I think you know that
those are the kinds of friends that we're called to be, right,
And I think that when you are grounded in your faith,
and it's it's so much a part of who you are,
like you are able to love people in a way
that is unconditional, that is truthful, that is comforting. It's like,
(06:38):
I don't know, it's I think we're all meant to
live our lives like Jesus lived right and that that
was he was a rock. He was a safe place
for people. And we fall short obviously because we're human.
But that is how I try to be in all
of my friendships. But I think it's so interesting too,
because you know, I don't want to not just Ella.
(07:01):
I think everybody in general, you know, you have those
friends like and I always say this about Raquel. You know,
when you break up with somebody and like you're just
bashing them and like talking bad and your friends are like, yeah,
that guy sucks, and like everybody just kind of like
joins in on the hate, and Raquel always is like
the opposite, like she sees the good, she gives people grace.
(07:22):
And I think it's just kind of like having that
different perspective and that different mindset that is like so needed.
And it's just counterculture, do you know what I mean.
I think it's like, and I think the book is
a lot of that. It's counterculture. It's like the opposite
of what sure everybody is like saying to do or
things that are just society thinks we should do, or
these expectations that are put on us. So it's just
(07:44):
kind of like kind of marching to the beat of
your own drum. Totally totally feel that. And Tanya, you
had like a massive heartbreak, that's what like your your
life was over in your mind, right, That's what led
you into the arms raquel. Eventually, if it's had a
broken heart, y'all would have never met. No, it's true,
and it's so crazy to say that, but I think
(08:08):
sometimes when you're that much in love and you go
through a heartbreak, it does feel like your life is
over because and I think a lot of women especially
can relate because especially at that time in my life,
I felt like I didn't know who Tanya was. I
didn't have a sense of self when he when we
broke up, it was I didn't know what I like
to do for fun. I didn't know who my friends were,
(08:30):
I didn't know where I wanted to go professionally. It
was almost like I was living a life that was
for him. And I realized that in that breakup that
like I never wanted to attach myself to anybody, any
other person like that. And that's when I found my faith,
and that's what I attached myself too. And it's like
that is the rock, that's what's never going to go away.
(08:53):
My relationship with Jesus is mine, Like that's never going
to go away. And so when I attached myself to that,
I think I'm a better partner now because with my
current boyfriend because I'm not I have not attached myself
to him the way that I did previously, which I
think is honestly unhealthy. I think you're so wise and
(09:15):
that's so true, and just realizing that this life is
so much bigger than one person, and like thinking it
can all if this one person leaves us, then we're
completely destroyed. But it's so normal. I didn't even I
didn't want to go. I didn't know how to do
anything alone. I didn't want to go to a wedding alone.
I didn't want to go to a party alone. And
now I go everywhere like I'll do anything. And now
(09:37):
you're like, man, I'm so cool, Like why was I
holding out on myself? Like I am like so much
fun to hang out with. Yeah, I have a hard
time doing stuff with people now because I feel like
it used to be so social. And literally, I'm turning
forty this year and I had like a spiritual I've
always been on a spiritual quest, but like these past
couple of years, it's been like deep into it. And
(10:00):
I live in Nashville, Okay, and I, uh, yes, I
recently just went deep down into the depths of my
soul as far as I could go. And I'm like, man,
I just can't hang out with people. I don't know
how to have I don't know how to small talk anymore.
I'm not a good partier anymore. Like I don't know
how to done. I'm basically just if you don't have
a deep conversation with me, I'm pretty much no good
(10:22):
for anyone. It's terrible. Wow, I love that. But you'll
find your fit. Yeah, I'm like, I prefer to go
to and go to dinner, have a meaningful conversation. Like
I'm not trying to be yeah, in the party scene.
So y'all both though, are in the scene like hard
Like you're in the scene because like Caroline deep in it. Yeah,
(10:43):
I know, whether you want to be in the scene
or not, you're in the scene. Y'all have y'all both
have podcasts of your of your own. Uh, Tanya, are
you're with the Ryan Seacrest Show? Is that right? Okay? Yeah? Okay,
So you're on the biggest syndicated radio show in is
probably the world maybe yeah, okay, in the world, and
(11:04):
you talk to all the famous people and then Roquel
you are best friends of Selena Gomez. She credits you
as one of the people for like saving her life.
I mean, so y'all are truly y'all are seeing behind
the fourth wall. You know what the highest of the
highest of success aspirations achieved looks like, Like y'all have
(11:26):
seen this, Like there is no vail for you, guys. Yeah,
you know so as someone two people that you, guys are,
who are so grounded in your faith and you are
you have realized you cannot rely on the world for
happiness and true joy. But yet you also know what
(11:47):
it looks like to see people who have everything you
could ever imagine as far as success, career, beauty partners,
being sexy, going to all the sexy things. You know,
you see it all. So that's just such a wonderful
You'll have such a wonderful like spectrum of it all.
You know, You're just you're getting to taste test at
(12:08):
all and like see what really matters and what really
creates happiness because a lot of the most famous people
are not the happiest. And I'm sure y'all been able
to see that firsthand. So has that like played into
like understanding happiness on a bigger level for you? Guys,
because you actually have seen what people think will make
them happy and realized love it doesn't I love this
(12:30):
thought and that question because one hundred percent yes. And
this goes beyond you know, Selena, this is just across
the board. Living in la you're around the most famous, successful,
wealthy people in the entire world. And I have found
exactly what you said some of you know, a lot
(12:52):
of those people to have a deep sense of unhappiness,
a huge lack of peace. And what I have found
is that if you do not prioritize your inner life,
which is why we wrote the book, whatever happens to
you will never satisfy you, will never fulfill you. It
will only make you more miserable. But on the flip side,
(13:14):
if you do prioritize your inner life, if that is strong,
if that is thriving, when you do achieve the height
of success, when you do have all of that, you're
able to handle it. You're able to live life generously.
You're able to use it as a vehicle to do
good for the world. Bottom shill is happening right now.
That is so profound, And I think it's important to
(13:35):
say that because I think a lot of people are
quick to be like, oh, well, you know, money, it
makes everybody miserable. It's not true. It can be amazing,
but only if your inner life is solid and it
is key, and I've lived it, I've seen it up close,
and I sometimes I'm like, I literally feel like all
(13:56):
of my twenties were spent experiencing the high of the highs,
only to see that there is nothing that satisfies like
the spirit, like your inner life. And so, um, yeah,
I turned thirty last year, and I feel like I've
gone into this next decade understanding that on an even
deeper level. And so you know, for me, I'm I'm
(14:18):
very much aware that as my life continues to grow
and and thing have more success or things happen more,
it's always coming back to the inner life and making
sure that that is strong and thriving and digging deep
daily into that so that, um, my life is constantly
focused on on service and on using my gifts and
(14:42):
talents to to make a difference in the world, because
or else nothing really means anything. Yeah, it's a It's
an interesting city, you know, and I think that when
you're new in it, you can really get caught up
in the you know the in LA there's something every
single night. There is when I keep it, there is
(15:02):
an event every single night. There's a red carpet every
single night. I've been out every night this week. Yeah,
there's there's, but there's accolades, there's award shows, there's you know,
we're you know, it's it's a constant so no one
works normal jobs, right, so people will be like, it's
like a Tuesday at you know, one pm, and people
are like, hey, like you want to go to this place?
And then it's like oh, and then there's an event tonight.
(15:24):
It's not like it's not nor no, No, it's constant.
It's constant. And what's interesting is for me, I remember
when I was starting out. You know, I work really
early in the morning, and so I can't go out
during the week when you know, I was trying to
make all make my friends, Like I was trying to
make friends and I can't go to any of these
things at night because I work really early, and you
(15:44):
could that can be like very discouraging, you know what
I mean, Like you're like, I'm never gonna make friends.
I can't go to any of this stuff. And what's
interesting is I was able to really find the friends
that were true and wanted to be friends with me
for me, because they would be like, Okay, that's fine,
you can't come, then let's go get coffee tomorrow. Let's
meet during the day, like when you get off work,
or it's like, you didn't miss your window if you couldn't,
(16:08):
I didn't miss. And I think it's so important for
people to know that you don't have to be at
everything you know, you don't have to stretch yourself so thin.
You don't have to be something that you're not Like
I would just never. I could not be that girl.
I could not go to a club until two in
the morning to make friends or do you know, to
hang out with people because I had to be in bed.
And so it's like, stay true to who you are,
(16:28):
stay truth the path that you're on. It doesn't matter.
You're still going to meet the friends and create the
relationships that you're supposed to. Oh, both of y'all dropping
it like it's hot. I mean so good. I love
both of that. Saying true to who you are, not
getting caught up. Isn't that the truth with all the
things that can get caught up in? Because like, even
(16:49):
what you're saying, Raquel, social media can be a wonderful
thing if your heart and you are you are healthy
on the inside. You know the same thing with having money,
if you are doing if you're healthy on the inside
and you're doing your work to stay that way, then
if you have money, then you can actually do good things.
So that because you actually have a bigger, higher purpose
to have money. And saying with what you're saying, Tanya,
(17:12):
if you just honor who you are, which is hard
to do sometimes because it took me the longest time
to get through all the layers and all the stuff
to even know who I was, Like, what do I
even like? What do I even want to do? What
fuels me? That took me years to figure that out. Yeah,
but once you kind of operate by that what feels
(17:33):
good to who I am and then using your gifts
and your blessings to bless others, that really is the
secret and the path, and it can take all the
anxiety and worry about trying to keep up or anything,
because like you're in alignment, but it makes life actually
really light and really fun too. Yeah, you just exactly
(17:53):
what you said. You're just aligned and you're there's not
attachment to external things. Yeah, that's something like I found
that this has been such a like a powerful saying
in my life is being open to the possibility but
not attached to the outcome, because you know when you
attach yourself to an outcome. I remember when my podcast
(18:14):
was nominated for People's Choice. We're everybody about this in
the book. The first year, we were like shocked. We
thought somebody was pranking us. It was like Oprah, Amy
Schumer and then our podcast. So I was like, this
has got to be some sort of a prank and
it wasn't. And so we like totally just had fun
with it and we were like campaigning and like trying
to win it. And then when we won, it was
(18:35):
like it was a crazy feeling, like we won it
against all these huge names Oprah again, yeah that's time. Yeah,
but it was like it didn't it didn't. I didn't
add to the ego. It was more of like, uh,
this is the craziest thing ever and like so fun.
(18:55):
And then like happened again the next year, and then
the next year were nominated and we didn't win it,
and it was like, oh, that's stinks, you know, we
didn't want to, but it didn't affect us as people,
you know what I mean, Like we weren't attached, were
never attached to the outcome, open to the possibility, but
not attached to any outcome, because I think when you
get attached an outcome. I learned this in my relationship
that really like spiraled me was I was attached to
(19:17):
the outcome that we were gonna get married, we were
gonna have a family, we were gonna do all these things.
And I was so attached to that outcome that when
we broke up, it was like I didn't know, I
didn't know what to do with my life. So then
I was like, I can't attach myself to anything like
that ever. Again, I love that, and I love that too,
because that kind of goes back to rock out what
you were saying, like being I love this being good
(19:37):
on the inside. Once you're good on the inside and
working on your mental and spiritual health on the inside,
then it's like you can enjoy winning and you can
actually like enjoy that moment and enjoy the love and
the good energy there, but then also be like, Okay,
I don't need this to define who I am, but
this feels so good to have it, So let me
enjoy it with good a good heart. You know, you
(19:59):
can actually then enjoy moments probably more as well. So
I don't know, Jo'll have a book candy because I
would love for riad is to kind of go through
some of the lists. I mean, I have a book candy.
If you don't, I can read them. I would love
to have one downstairs. You want to grab it, me
to grab it? Sure. I kind of would just love
to go through some of the bullet points that y'all
(20:20):
talk about. And like we said earlier, I love this
because they're digestible. It's like bite size, and I I'm
not a great reader, Like I don't love to sit
down and just read a book. Even we have audio
version too for all the non readers audio. But even
with this though, it's like you can read one page
a day. You know, it's like a devotional without being
(20:44):
a devotional, but it's it gives you the I also
love that you guys take turns, kind of like having
your thoughts about each one, like and each one there's
a bullet point that you talk about, but then one
of y'all breaks down, breaks it down more. How did
y'll decide who breaks down what we you know, what
(21:07):
it was kind of what resonated with each person more
so Tanya for example, Like let's say we needed something
that was a story about dating. Tanya has really been
out there dating, so it was like those would normally
go to her. If there was something that was like
maybe I don't know a little spiritually kind of deep
of resentment forget those kind of things, I would be like, Okay,
(21:30):
I'm gonna take that one. So we it kind of
depended on what. Yeah, we both had different strengths and weaknesses,
so we could. It was a kind of easy to
delegate in that way. So this book just wrote itself.
Y'all knew who, y'all knew what was meant for who,
and how to come back. It was an easy flow. Yeah,
it's hard writing book, I will say that, but yeah
(21:50):
it was. It wasn't easy, but the flow is easy. Yeah.
I can't imagine like all the things you had to
do on a book, like mad respect for people out
here writing any book, but like this isn't even like
a novel. And I was like, wow, I mean it's
a process. Yeah, this book is so great. It is
(22:12):
just I just love how you've broken it down into
bite sizes that we can handle and that you can
do daily. Because I have come to realize that you
have to like put stuff into your mind every day.
You have to feed yourself. You really have to find
the information, the peer group people to hang out with,
(22:34):
things to like read and consume daily, because you have
to make it a practice, like it's not like you
if we don't practice these things, then we can easily
fall back into bad habits that don't serve us. You know, Yeah,
so true. Do you all have daily practices? I mean,
I know you wrote a whole book about things to do,
but is there like daily practices you guys do to
(22:55):
make sure, especially like before you're going on air and
you're going to go talk to people, and you've got
to be in a mindset that like what do you
do to make sure you come in? Because don't people
say you're too happy? Like you're like too nice? What
do you do when you're too nice? I was always
it wasn't nice. Wasn't the word. It was too too
happy to h too much. I was always too much
(23:19):
because I was always very like loud and happy and
too positive, and I was like Okay, what do you
do about that? How do you like internalize that and
like what do you do with that information? Okay, I'm
too I'm able to, like if somebody says something about me. Obviously,
things like things hurt and you you you know, you
take them personally. But I'm really able. I know who
(23:39):
I am and I know myself, so I'm able to
kind of block it out. I was back to the
inner life. When you see who you are, you're kind
of like but when it comes from somebody that is
professionally above you, you know, like a superior somebody at
you're at your work that is that is of you know,
I don't superiority isn't the right word, but you know
(24:00):
what I'm saying, like like a boss, like a boss,
you know, professionally, it can really damage you, you know,
like it can really affect you in a big way.
And so I think when I was starting out in
my career that was really really tough for me. But
I'm really grateful that I had certain people like Ryan
was one of those people, and there was a couple
other producers behind the scenes that really believed in me
(24:23):
and saw the potential in me and kind of carried
me through even above all the other noise. So did
you have training to be on air or did your
personality in your life just lead you there. So it's funny.
I was a journalism major in college, but I was
doing print journalism, so it's very, very different. It's not broadcast.
(24:44):
But I started out as a producer for the Honor
with Ryan Seacrest morning show. So I was always behind
the scenes and I loved it. But I had like
a really good rapport and with Ryan. And so when
the co host at the time got her own morning
show gig and they were auditioning new people to be
the co host, they basically approached me and said, we
(25:05):
would love to create a third mic position for you,
want to bring you on? Are so like, I, oh, yeah,
it was pretty incredible. Huge deal. Huge deal doesn't happen,
especially in La Oh. People would like cut off their
left leg to get that gig. I'm sure there would
be if they announced auditions, there'd be millions of people
to audition and they're like, there you go, can you have?
(25:27):
It's not that funny about life. So this goes back
to life. It's like you what's meant for you? Will
find you it will. It's really crazy. And I wrote
about this in the book too, because I think, you know,
people can find themselves in different testimonies, and I think
that I started out working for a morning radio show
in Tucson, which is where I was in college. And
(25:50):
it was at the time where the economy there wasn't
a lot of people were graduating and not getting jobs,
Like the economy was just very, very bad, and so
I was like, I have a job, so I'm just
gonna stay in Tucson and keep doing this morning radio show.
Right the like massive layoffs happened. They let off all
their part time employees. Mind you, I'm twenty one years old,
so this is the height of where you're taking things personally.
(26:13):
And I also didn't have a relationship thought at the time,
so I was just an emotional basket case, totally nuclear
combination right there. Yeah. I was like, they let me go,
I'm a horrible employee, like everything personal, when really I
was just a number and it was just a financial
decision for them. Had I not been laid off from
that position and I was forced basically to come home
(26:35):
La Orange County, I never would have had this opportunity
and never would have been a part of the on
Earth Ryan Seacrest Morning Show. And it was God literally
pushing me out of that position that I was in
a Tucson to bring me to the bigger platform that
he wanted me on. But at the time it was horrible.
It was say, I feel like, I'm like you, like
I was such a helpless romantic. I have been like
(26:57):
I was in love with love, looking so deeg before
at heart broken all the time. But it's like God's
finally like, Okay, do I have to just like break
your heart into million pieces for you to get the message? Yes,
yes you do, Okay, please, that's the only way I'm
going to receive it. Yeah. But like that, I will
never forget being let go from or fired or whatever.
For me, it was let go. But being rejected from
(27:18):
a job is the ultimate heartbreak because it's it's so
it's very here, you personally did not do a good
enough job because you are not fulfilling what that employer needs.
And I totally yes, it's like so personally you're like,
but I gave it everything I had and you're firing
me really, And I'm like, I'm graduating, supposed to be
(27:39):
the best time of my life. And I was like
so upset, But I love that because heartbreak really and
when when do you have a massive heartbreak or a
huge terrible thing that feels terrible in your life? There
is going to be a rebirth after it, Like there
will and it's going to be better. I mean I
(27:59):
feel like it really will. It might be bad for
a while, but there will be redemption and something that
is so wonderful that you could have never planned for
because it wasn't in our plans. Yeah, that's amazing. So
and then how did you get to La rock Out?
How did you get involved? And like you're doing producing
and you're behind the scenes. Where did your story so unconventional?
(28:20):
I grew up between Chicago and England. My dad's Britishish
and so in England for all of my elementary school
years and then that awesome. It was the best. I
loved it. I still love England. England feels more like
home to me than Chicago. So if I like, in
an ideal world, I'd love to live between LA and London.
(28:40):
What is it like growing up in England? Uh, it's
really nice, you know, It's the British people they're very genuine,
like I had my friends, so it's a more simple life.
I mean we lived out. We're in Cambridge and you know,
kind of in a village. I studied in Cambridge, did
I didn't in high school? I said at Cambridge University. Yeah,
(29:02):
Cambridge Universities and one of the best universities in the world.
It was amazing. I lived there for a month and
I had the most like just magical time. So you know,
you know all about Cambridge, that's where you live. I
lived in Cambridge. Yeah, that's a little cool, sevezy, and
you know, it's a simpler life, right like you have.
It's almost be like growing up in the country. But
(29:24):
I loved it. Yeah, it was great. I had an accent,
so yeah, it was awesome. Anyways, then I was twelve,
family moved back to Chicago. Lived in Chicago from twelve
to eighteen, and then I was in my first semester
of college and I wasn't loving my school and I
but I had a boyfriend and then it ended and
(29:46):
it was a bad breakup. And during that time, my
dad got a job transfer to move to la and
so he said, you know, do you want to move
with the family. I have two younger brothers and my mom.
And had that breakup not have happened, which at the
time was really devastating, I would have never moved. I
would have been like just staying again. Yeah, it was.
It was the rebirth right. So it's like a heartbreak
(30:09):
pushed you pushed me into really about my destiny. And
so there was like a six month window of time
and I didn't like my school and there was a
woman at my church who was a news anchor for
Fox News in Chicago, and I said, can I just
come work for you for six months before I moved
to LA to decide if I still want to keep
on the journalism path. She said yes. I worked for her,
(30:30):
and I loved the news business because every day was different.
We would go out and do stories and like it
was really really fun and cool. And she was like,
I think you're gonna love LA. And anyways, long story short,
I moved to LA. She connects me with my first
job out here, which had nothing to do with the news.
It was like I was managing this high end art
show room in Beverly Hills and I was taking community
(30:51):
college classes at Santa Monica College and my goal was
to transfer to USC or at the they have a
great journalism program. Then during the time, I mean this
was I was nineteen, I was like eleven years ago.
Now the whole business was changing, right, So it used
to be with broadcast journalism. You would get your four
year degree. Then you go to a small market and
(31:12):
you know, Ioa, Kansas or Florida or something, and then
gradually work your way up to the big networks. And
I started to really once I made friends out here,
I started to really like my life, and I was like, oh,
that's never going to be for me. I don't want
to move. I don't want to like you know, and
that's just part of it. And so then I started
doing freelance work for teen Vogue and I would do
(31:35):
like red carpet stuff for American Music Awards, snapchat takeovers.
So I was still working at this showoman doing freelance stuff.
I worked as an assistant. I mean, like, my path
was so unconventional. When I tell you, it is beyond
I love that though. Yeah, flow, you've really gone with
your flow. I went with the flow. I worked for
(31:56):
Selena and then then I ended up shifting into in
like end of twenty eighteen working project based with her.
So we have a cooking show together on HBO Max
called Selena plush Chef, and and then we did the
documentary which I was a producer on and also in.
And then I realized, like I really want to, you know,
(32:17):
work on projects, whether it be through a book or
through a video podcast series or through a documentary that
are making a difference and that are helping people. And
so my path was a very unconventional one. But now
I'm I'm producing a couple of other projects and all
in the space of helping people, of making a difference.
(32:39):
And so when people are like, how did you get
to where you are right now? There is no formula,
there is no path, There is no even you asked
if we're what are daily routines? I have stuff I
do day today, There is no routine. So I take
pilates classes, but I like fit them in that I
found that really for my mental health, helps me to
(33:01):
calm down. I do a lot of walks, I pray,
but it's like it's so much a part of my
daily life. There's no like scheduled time. But also that's
because I don't have a job where I'm like going
into an office and have to schedule things that way.
And it's more like just becoming aware of your nervous
system too. Yeah, and like your mental capacity because I
(33:22):
can feel it now, like if I haven't had a
yoga class, or if I've been with too many people
do too many things, I can feel it coming on.
You know, it's like I need. It's also about like
kind of figuring out how you are and how you operate,
you know what I mean. Like I'm the opposite, Like
my life is very routine and very regiment and then
I have a schedule. So like to me, I love
to get to bed at a certain time. I love
to make my bed in the morning. I love to
(33:43):
make my coffee at home. I like to like I
make my food the night before. I like to know
what I'm eating the next day. I like to have
it with me because I'm constantly, like you know what
I mean, I never know what well because you're waking
up so early, and especially if you know you want
to feel good, so you want to make sure you
have your right fuel already ready, and you want to
do that the night before because you got to wake
up with a buck crack to probably get to the
(34:04):
radio station. So that makes so much sense. You're setting
yourself up for success by eliminating variables that you can
eliminate so you can then show up and do your
job and be exactly wrong. And it's like that's it's
unique to what works for you, and it is what
you said. It's paying attention to your nervous system and
and honoring that. Yeah, and like realizing, Okay, like if
(34:28):
you've gone to work a few times and like you're
stressed out every time it came to lunch and you
ended up eating shit food and then you felt bad,
you know, it's like, okay, it's worth it in your
life and your scenario to prioritize making sure you're meal
prepped and all the idea. It's so true. It's like
knowing yourself and what works for you and listening to
our body. That is like something that I try to
(34:50):
do now all the time, Like really listen to myself.
What is myself telling me? I'm I tired? Am I
stressed out? Do I need to recharge? I have tons
of energy right now? I need to like move it
and have ideas and like trusting the flow in the season,
because I feel like our bodies communicate to us all
the time. Just yeah, but I love to to kind
of like circle back on both of y'all stories that
(35:10):
for people listening. And I especially love to talk to
people who feel lost because I have felt lost so
many times in my life. And I'm also like you guys,
like if I was to break down to you my
life and how I ended up podcasting and like doing
what I do, I could I could never give you
a formula like I have literally been like trial by
fire and era error or just like trusting the next
(35:30):
move that felt right, you know, like just kind of
trusting my intuition. But I feel like if you trust
your intuition and you know that you're made for something,
and you feel and you feel it, like you know
you can feel when you're on to what feels good,
you know, for your life, and I feel like if
you just keep trusting that and taking the moves and
the risk and like following the heartbreaks and like doing
(35:52):
the next thing that feels right, like that's to me,
the only way to end up where you're supposed to go.
What do you guys think? What if you're talking to
someone who just feels completely lost and need the next move?
How would you what would you tell them? Oh, I
mean I've been there, like so many times over right,
It's it's that's where again it comes back to going inward,
(36:13):
focusing on your inner life and just being so straight
up with I don't know if you feel comfortable praying
or if you just feel comfortable, like maybe it's just
putting out an intention and meditating. Ill will say out loud,
I'd be like, God, I'm so confused right now, I
feel so lost. I don't know what direction to take.
Please help to give me wisdom and discernment as to
(36:34):
what the next right move is and give me peace.
So I'll pray that out loud, and then I'll spend
time if I'm going for a walk, just thinking about
things that I'm grateful for having gratitude, even just to
be in nature or whatever, because I think when we
go back to gratitude, it brings us back to a
centered place. And sometimes if you don't know what to
(36:59):
do and something's in front of you, it's just making
that next step, and if it's wrong. I found that
even when something is a wrong step, it redirects you
into what's right, Yeah, I think that's I think that's
like hitting the nail on the head. I think sometimes
often people you look at the big picture and you
can't really break it down, and I like, you know,
let's use an example. If somebody is very overweight and
(37:22):
for their health they need to lose I don't even know,
let's say one hundred pounds, right. That sounds very taxing.
It sounds like I'll never get that done. That sounds impossible.
But if you break it down and you really kind
of just start taking small little steps, whatever that may be,
you know, eliminating something out of your diet, being active daily,
(37:45):
whether it's just a walk, you know, and then gradually
just stepping forward and continuing on on that journey. It's
like taking these little steps. And I think even this
book was a testimony to that, because I knew I
wanted to write a book right twenty eighteen, forever ago,
and I didn't exactly know what it was. And I
started doing a proposal of a dating book, something completely different,
(38:07):
and it didn't work out, and then this kind of
came to be. So it was like, you it might
not work out, Like the first step you take might
not be the step you're supposed to take, but it
will you eventually will get there. And I think sometimes too,
when people are starting their own businesses, everything just seems
very grand, like the task seems so big. But it's like,
(38:28):
if you just start making small changes and consistently keep
moving forward, you're going to get there. That is so true.
And going back to the book example, you ended up
sharing dating advice, like you shared so many amazing pieces
of dating advice, so you have that in there as well.
It's just being open to letting it move and evolve
(38:49):
and take shape. And yeah, this letting it have its
own lights, like having the idea and then just kind
of letting it grow and evolve, not holding it. What
was that you said? Hopefully optimistic, not outcome to the possibility,
not attached to the outcome. Oh I love that. Yeah,
I love that. I love that. Y'all are amazing. The
Sunshine Mine Tan, your rad and Rockhill Stevens awesome. Everyone
(39:12):
needs to grab it. It's a great devotional. It's just
a great daily read too, and you can read the
whole thing at once if you want to. It's one
of those you can carry in your purse. It's like
it's just like great reminders and you'll have great, great stories.
Thank you for coming on. I always wrap up with
leave your Light, which is perfect for you, sun light
beams of just radiating love. Leave your light. What do
(39:33):
you want people to know? It's super open ended. Yeah,
Prioritize your inner life and the external will always flow
and work out the way that it's meant to. And
if you don't know how to do that, something really
simple and practical that you can start with is just
close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, focus on
(39:54):
the things in your life that you're grateful for, and
immediately watch your body, feel your body shift into a
more centered place. And I think that's a great place
to start if you can start each morning that way.
Love that. I would say rejection is God's redirection. So
if you're going through something in your life where you're
(40:17):
being rejected, whether it's romantical, romantical, romantical, you're funny or professional, um,
just know that it's God redirecting you to something even
bigger and better. You might not see it. It It may
not come to fruition in a month, two months, six months,
two years, but it will come. Love that y'all are awesome.
(40:38):
I'm so glad y'all have become this dynamic powerhouse duo
teaming up blessing the world with this book, and you're amazing.
Just love radiation that you're putting out there, the sunshine mine,
Everyone grab it. It's honestly, this is a great gift too.
This is just great. That's a great gift. Where where
can everyone find you? Guys? We are on Amazon, Borns
(40:59):
and Noble Target M and audio version is also available
as well. Any Instagrams to follow. Oh yeah at Riquel
Stevens and I'm at Tanya rad Yeah, are awesome. Thankyas
so much for coming on. Are doing as well. We
really appreciate your time. Yeah, really appreciate the Hey, I
think we're all just trying to spread this message. You know,
(41:21):
it's it's I just want I'm with you. I want
people to hear this stuff and realize that, like, you're
not stuck, there's a way out. It's higher, it takes work,
but everyone can get there. Yeah. Absolutely, y'all have a
great day. Bye bye bye.
Hi, Hi, Caral. She's a queen. She's getting not afraid
of fing so just let it flow. No one can
do with qui Caral. This sounds Caroline. Okay. So I
(00:28):
am here with two actual human form versions of Walking Sunshine.
I have Tanya and Raquel, and they have this new
book called The Sunshine Mine. I love it. Y'all are
so cool, it's so awesome. How's it going girls? Thank you.
We're so happy to be here with you. This is
(00:49):
like kind of the tail end of our interviews that
we've been doing. So it's a little bit like it's
kind of bitter sweet, isn't it. Yeah, But it's also
like nice because we were doing stuff before for the
book came out. But now it's like so nice that
the book is out and people are reading it and
kind of are able to express, yeah, what it means
to them and what they're getting from the book. So
it's been really nice. What have y'all found that people
(01:12):
are getting from the book? What is the overall response?
Because this is and I love this book because it's digestible.
Y'all have like a hundred little bites of key things
to do in your life to live in a sunshine
mine because y'all both are very optimistic and positive, and
that's not you aren't just born that way. You'll actually
(01:33):
have practices in place, and this book is those practices.
So what are people telling you that's happening after they
read this? Yeah, well, I thought this was cool. I
was getting coffee the other morning and this mom came
up to me and she said, you know, I got
your book and it's been so nice. My two daughters
have it as well, and each day we've been going
through it together and it's created these moments of bonding
(01:54):
for the three of us. And I was like, Wow,
that's so cool. And I think that's what's amazing about
it being kind of a day at a time and
a journey is it allows room for conversation. So that
was something that was really cool. I've gotten a lot
of dms of people like listening to it on their
way to work and that's helping with their anxiety starting
(02:14):
the day out right. Yeah. I actually heard from a
friend of mine and I think the thing that's so
awesome about faith is that nothing's coincidence and she was
really praying for She didn't tell me exactly what I
was where she was really praying for something in her life,
and she opened to one of the pages and it
was like she said, she literally got her answer right
then and there through our book. And I was like, wow,
(02:34):
Like that's so powerful, do you know what I mean?
Like it's not coincidence that she was on that day
or praying for something specific. And so I just think
it's cool to see the book meeting people where they are.
So y'all are so young to have all this wisdom,
Like y'all are so ahead of a game. How did
you gather all this wisdom? And how do you know
(02:54):
these things? Being so young and beautiful in the height
of like all things happening your world to know this
kind of like elevated spiritual knowledge to the keys of life.
I mean, y'all have done some real research out there
in the world. Y'all figured some stuff out. I will say,
for me, Raquel has been a big, a big force
in that space it. You know, it was a struggle
(03:18):
for me. You know, I think that I do I
have the sunshine mind. It's in me, it's in my spirits,
in my faith. But I've had a lot of challenges
in my life where I can I can kind of
waver and I can kind of get caught up in things,
and I feel like Raquel is that person that's always
really sturdy and stable. And I always say like a rock,
because it's just like she is. She's just like that rock.
(03:41):
She's stable, she's steady, she's consistent. And so I mean,
I think I owe a lot to you. Well, but Tanya,
I will say, Tanya's energy is sunshine. She walks into
a room, your tone, you're how you carry yourself as
sunshine all the time, which is amazing and really necessary
in the world today. But for me, so, I grew
(04:02):
up going to church and my faith was a big
part of my life, but I wouldn't say fully put
it into practice until my teen years. And then when
I was moving to LA everybody was like, oh my gosh,
you're going to move to LA, you lose your soul
like you know that actually like the opposite, and I
found it actually just pushed me further into my faith.
So being in so many situations with people who were
(04:24):
really struggling, being in situations that were dark, seeing so
much of not even just in La but so much
around the world, it really pushed me to fully relying
on my faith and then understanding that that really is
the only way to living a peaceful, free life. So
the stuff that we talk about in the book, like
(04:44):
I've really had to kind of do the work to
live it out because without doing that, it just led
to a lack of peace, if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
And I feel like that's why I'm so impressed that
I'll have this book being so young and vibrant you are,
because you really like to have I feel like to
have a But I feel like people are getting more
(05:06):
awakened earlier too, Like I feel like it's like it's
starting to people are starting to realize like you can't
survive in the material world, you know, like you've got
to have something bigger to sync into or else it's
just emptiness. But I feel like y'all really to know
to be able to have this book and have this
amazing insight, you have to know it. And I feel
like that's the difference between acquiring a faith that you
(05:28):
were raised in and then having your own actual faith
and practices to bring joy to your life, which to me,
this is what this book is. But Roquel, I want
to like, second, what Tanya is saying, because I was
actually talking to Ali, who's my intern chief here here
with me, and we were talking about you, and Ali's
right here, Hello, we're talking. We're talking about you and
(05:51):
Selena Gomez is documentary and you and tanyare just saying
this too. You really have that personality that is that
rock for so many people, because that's what you were
to Selena and that film and the French believe that's
what it appears to be. And then like Tanya seconding it,
you really have this really calming effect on people. It
(06:13):
seems that's so kind. Yeah, I think you know that
those are the kinds of friends that we're called to be, right,
And I think that when you are grounded in your faith,
and it's it's so much a part of who you are,
like you are able to love people in a way
that is unconditional, that is truthful, that is comforting. It's like,
(06:38):
I don't know, it's I think we're all meant to
live our lives like Jesus lived right and that that
was he was a rock. He was a safe place
for people. And we fall short obviously because we're human.
But that is how I try to be in all
of my friendships. But I think it's so interesting too,
because you know, I don't want to not just Ella.
(07:01):
I think everybody in general, you know, you have those
friends like and I always say this about Raquel. You know,
when you break up with somebody and like you're just
bashing them and like talking bad and your friends are like, yeah,
that guy sucks, and like everybody just kind of like
joins in on the hate, and Raquel always is like
the opposite, like she sees the good, she gives people grace.
(07:22):
And I think it's just kind of like having that
different perspective and that different mindset that is like so needed.
And it's just counterculture, do you know what I mean.
I think it's like, and I think the book is
a lot of that. It's counterculture. It's like the opposite
of what sure everybody is like saying to do or
things that are just society thinks we should do, or
these expectations that are put on us. So it's just
(07:44):
kind of like kind of marching to the beat of
your own drum. Totally totally feel that. And Tanya, you
had like a massive heartbreak, that's what like your your
life was over in your mind, right, That's what led
you into the arms raquel. Eventually, if it's had a
broken heart, y'all would have never met. No, it's true,
and it's so crazy to say that, but I think
(08:08):
sometimes when you're that much in love and you go
through a heartbreak, it does feel like your life is
over because and I think a lot of women especially
can relate because especially at that time in my life,
I felt like I didn't know who Tanya was. I
didn't have a sense of self when he when we
broke up, it was I didn't know what I like
to do for fun. I didn't know who my friends were,
(08:30):
I didn't know where I wanted to go professionally. It
was almost like I was living a life that was
for him. And I realized that in that breakup that
like I never wanted to attach myself to anybody, any
other person like that. And that's when I found my faith,
and that's what I attached myself too. And it's like
that is the rock, that's what's never going to go away.
(08:53):
My relationship with Jesus is mine, Like that's never going
to go away. And so when I attached myself to that,
I think I'm a better partner now because with my
current boyfriend because I'm not I have not attached myself
to him the way that I did previously, which I
think is honestly unhealthy. I think you're so wise and
(09:15):
that's so true, and just realizing that this life is
so much bigger than one person, and like thinking it
can all if this one person leaves us, then we're
completely destroyed. But it's so normal. I didn't even I
didn't want to go. I didn't know how to do
anything alone. I didn't want to go to a wedding alone.
I didn't want to go to a party alone. And
now I go everywhere like I'll do anything. And now
(09:37):
you're like, man, I'm so cool, Like why was I
holding out on myself? Like I am like so much
fun to hang out with. Yeah, I have a hard
time doing stuff with people now because I feel like
it used to be so social. And literally, I'm turning
forty this year and I had like a spiritual I've
always been on a spiritual quest, but like these past
couple of years, it's been like deep into it. And
(10:00):
I live in Nashville, Okay, and I, uh, yes, I
recently just went deep down into the depths of my
soul as far as I could go. And I'm like, man,
I just can't hang out with people. I don't know
how to have I don't know how to small talk anymore.
I'm not a good partier anymore. Like I don't know
how to done. I'm basically just if you don't have
a deep conversation with me, I'm pretty much no good
(10:22):
for anyone. It's terrible. Wow, I love that. But you'll
find your fit. Yeah, I'm like, I prefer to go
to and go to dinner, have a meaningful conversation. Like
I'm not trying to be yeah, in the party scene.
So y'all both though, are in the scene like hard
Like you're in the scene because like Caroline deep in it. Yeah,
(10:43):
I know, whether you want to be in the scene
or not, you're in the scene. Y'all have y'all both
have podcasts of your of your own. Uh, Tanya, are
you're with the Ryan Seacrest Show? Is that right? Okay? Yeah? Okay,
So you're on the biggest syndicated radio show in is
probably the world maybe yeah, okay, in the world, and
(11:04):
you talk to all the famous people and then Roquel
you are best friends of Selena Gomez. She credits you
as one of the people for like saving her life.
I mean, so y'all are truly y'all are seeing behind
the fourth wall. You know what the highest of the
highest of success aspirations achieved looks like, Like y'all have
(11:26):
seen this, Like there is no vail for you, guys. Yeah,
you know so as someone two people that you, guys are,
who are so grounded in your faith and you are
you have realized you cannot rely on the world for
happiness and true joy. But yet you also know what
(11:47):
it looks like to see people who have everything you
could ever imagine as far as success, career, beauty partners,
being sexy, going to all the sexy things. You know,
you see it all. So that's just such a wonderful
You'll have such a wonderful like spectrum of it all.
You know, You're just you're getting to taste test at
(12:08):
all and like see what really matters and what really
creates happiness because a lot of the most famous people
are not the happiest. And I'm sure y'all been able
to see that firsthand. So has that like played into
like understanding happiness on a bigger level for you? Guys,
because you actually have seen what people think will make
them happy and realized love it doesn't I love this
(12:30):
thought and that question because one hundred percent yes. And
this goes beyond you know, Selena, this is just across
the board. Living in la you're around the most famous, successful,
wealthy people in the entire world. And I have found
exactly what you said some of you know, a lot
(12:52):
of those people to have a deep sense of unhappiness,
a huge lack of peace. And what I have found
is that if you do not prioritize your inner life,
which is why we wrote the book, whatever happens to
you will never satisfy you, will never fulfill you. It
will only make you more miserable. But on the flip side,
(13:14):
if you do prioritize your inner life, if that is strong,
if that is thriving, when you do achieve the height
of success, when you do have all of that, you're
able to handle it. You're able to live life generously.
You're able to use it as a vehicle to do
good for the world. Bottom shill is happening right now.
That is so profound, And I think it's important to
(13:35):
say that because I think a lot of people are
quick to be like, oh, well, you know, money, it
makes everybody miserable. It's not true. It can be amazing,
but only if your inner life is solid and it
is key, and I've lived it, I've seen it up close,
and I sometimes I'm like, I literally feel like all
(13:56):
of my twenties were spent experiencing the high of the highs,
only to see that there is nothing that satisfies like
the spirit, like your inner life. And so, um, yeah,
I turned thirty last year, and I feel like I've
gone into this next decade understanding that on an even
deeper level. And so you know, for me, I'm I'm
(14:18):
very much aware that as my life continues to grow
and and thing have more success or things happen more,
it's always coming back to the inner life and making
sure that that is strong and thriving and digging deep
daily into that so that, um, my life is constantly
focused on on service and on using my gifts and
(14:42):
talents to to make a difference in the world, because
or else nothing really means anything. Yeah, it's a It's
an interesting city, you know, and I think that when
you're new in it, you can really get caught up
in the you know the in LA there's something every
single night. There is when I keep it, there is
(15:02):
an event every single night. There's a red carpet every
single night. I've been out every night this week. Yeah,
there's there's, but there's accolades, there's award shows, there's you know,
we're you know, it's it's a constant so no one
works normal jobs, right, so people will be like, it's
like a Tuesday at you know, one pm, and people
are like, hey, like you want to go to this place?
And then it's like oh, and then there's an event tonight.
(15:24):
It's not like it's not nor no, No, it's constant.
It's constant. And what's interesting is for me, I remember
when I was starting out. You know, I work really
early in the morning, and so I can't go out
during the week when you know, I was trying to
make all make my friends, Like I was trying to
make friends and I can't go to any of these
things at night because I work really early, and you
(15:44):
could that can be like very discouraging, you know what
I mean, Like you're like, I'm never gonna make friends.
I can't go to any of this stuff. And what's
interesting is I was able to really find the friends
that were true and wanted to be friends with me
for me, because they would be like, Okay, that's fine,
you can't come, then let's go get coffee tomorrow. Let's
meet during the day, like when you get off work,
or it's like, you didn't miss your window if you couldn't,
(16:08):
I didn't miss. And I think it's so important for
people to know that you don't have to be at
everything you know, you don't have to stretch yourself so thin.
You don't have to be something that you're not Like
I would just never. I could not be that girl.
I could not go to a club until two in
the morning to make friends or do you know, to
hang out with people because I had to be in bed.
And so it's like, stay true to who you are,
(16:28):
stay truth the path that you're on. It doesn't matter.
You're still going to meet the friends and create the
relationships that you're supposed to. Oh, both of y'all dropping
it like it's hot. I mean so good. I love
both of that. Saying true to who you are, not
getting caught up. Isn't that the truth with all the
things that can get caught up in? Because like, even
(16:49):
what you're saying, Raquel, social media can be a wonderful
thing if your heart and you are you are healthy
on the inside. You know the same thing with having money,
if you are doing if you're healthy on the inside
and you're doing your work to stay that way, then
if you have money, then you can actually do good things.
So that because you actually have a bigger, higher purpose
to have money. And saying with what you're saying, Tanya,
(17:12):
if you just honor who you are, which is hard
to do sometimes because it took me the longest time
to get through all the layers and all the stuff
to even know who I was, Like, what do I
even like? What do I even want to do? What
fuels me? That took me years to figure that out. Yeah,
but once you kind of operate by that what feels
(17:33):
good to who I am and then using your gifts
and your blessings to bless others, that really is the
secret and the path, and it can take all the
anxiety and worry about trying to keep up or anything,
because like you're in alignment, but it makes life actually
really light and really fun too. Yeah, you just exactly
(17:53):
what you said. You're just aligned and you're there's not
attachment to external things. Yeah, that's something like I found
that this has been such a like a powerful saying
in my life is being open to the possibility but
not attached to the outcome, because you know when you
attach yourself to an outcome. I remember when my podcast
(18:14):
was nominated for People's Choice. We're everybody about this in
the book. The first year, we were like shocked. We
thought somebody was pranking us. It was like Oprah, Amy
Schumer and then our podcast. So I was like, this
has got to be some sort of a prank and
it wasn't. And so we like totally just had fun
with it and we were like campaigning and like trying
to win it. And then when we won, it was
(18:35):
like it was a crazy feeling, like we won it
against all these huge names Oprah again, yeah that's time. Yeah,
but it was like it didn't it didn't. I didn't
add to the ego. It was more of like, uh,
this is the craziest thing ever and like so fun.
(18:55):
And then like happened again the next year, and then
the next year were nominated and we didn't win it,
and it was like, oh, that's stinks, you know, we
didn't want to, but it didn't affect us as people,
you know what I mean, Like we weren't attached, were
never attached to the outcome, open to the possibility, but
not attached to any outcome, because I think when you
get attached an outcome. I learned this in my relationship
that really like spiraled me was I was attached to
(19:17):
the outcome that we were gonna get married, we were
gonna have a family, we were gonna do all these things.
And I was so attached to that outcome that when
we broke up, it was like I didn't know, I
didn't know what to do with my life. So then
I was like, I can't attach myself to anything like
that ever. Again, I love that, and I love that too,
because that kind of goes back to rock out what
you were saying, like being I love this being good
(19:37):
on the inside. Once you're good on the inside and
working on your mental and spiritual health on the inside,
then it's like you can enjoy winning and you can
actually like enjoy that moment and enjoy the love and
the good energy there, but then also be like, Okay,
I don't need this to define who I am, but
this feels so good to have it, So let me
enjoy it with good a good heart. You know, you
(19:59):
can actually then enjoy moments probably more as well. So
I don't know, Jo'll have a book candy because I
would love for riad is to kind of go through
some of the lists. I mean, I have a book candy.
If you don't, I can read them. I would love
to have one downstairs. You want to grab it, me
to grab it? Sure. I kind of would just love
to go through some of the bullet points that y'all
(20:20):
talk about. And like we said earlier, I love this
because they're digestible. It's like bite size, and I I'm
not a great reader, Like I don't love to sit
down and just read a book. Even we have audio
version too for all the non readers audio. But even
with this though, it's like you can read one page
a day. You know, it's like a devotional without being
(20:44):
a devotional, but it's it gives you the I also
love that you guys take turns, kind of like having
your thoughts about each one, like and each one there's
a bullet point that you talk about, but then one
of y'all breaks down, breaks it down more. How did
y'll decide who breaks down what we you know, what
(21:07):
it was kind of what resonated with each person more
so Tanya for example, Like let's say we needed something
that was a story about dating. Tanya has really been
out there dating, so it was like those would normally
go to her. If there was something that was like
maybe I don't know a little spiritually kind of deep
of resentment forget those kind of things, I would be like, Okay,
(21:30):
I'm gonna take that one. So we it kind of
depended on what. Yeah, we both had different strengths and weaknesses,
so we could. It was a kind of easy to
delegate in that way. So this book just wrote itself.
Y'all knew who, y'all knew what was meant for who,
and how to come back. It was an easy flow. Yeah,
it's hard writing book, I will say that, but yeah
(21:50):
it was. It wasn't easy, but the flow is easy. Yeah.
I can't imagine like all the things you had to
do on a book, like mad respect for people out
here writing any book, but like this isn't even like
a novel. And I was like, wow, I mean it's
a process. Yeah, this book is so great. It is
(22:12):
just I just love how you've broken it down into
bite sizes that we can handle and that you can
do daily. Because I have come to realize that you
have to like put stuff into your mind every day.
You have to feed yourself. You really have to find
the information, the peer group people to hang out with,
(22:34):
things to like read and consume daily, because you have
to make it a practice, like it's not like you
if we don't practice these things, then we can easily
fall back into bad habits that don't serve us. You know, Yeah,
so true. Do you all have daily practices? I mean,
I know you wrote a whole book about things to do,
but is there like daily practices you guys do to
(22:55):
make sure, especially like before you're going on air and
you're going to go talk to people, and you've got
to be in a mindset that like what do you
do to make sure you come in? Because don't people
say you're too happy? Like you're like too nice? What
do you do when you're too nice? I was always
it wasn't nice. Wasn't the word. It was too too
happy to h too much. I was always too much
(23:19):
because I was always very like loud and happy and
too positive, and I was like Okay, what do you
do about that? How do you like internalize that and
like what do you do with that information? Okay, I'm
too I'm able to, like if somebody says something about me. Obviously,
things like things hurt and you you you know, you
take them personally. But I'm really able. I know who
(23:39):
I am and I know myself, so I'm able to
kind of block it out. I was back to the
inner life. When you see who you are, you're kind
of like but when it comes from somebody that is
professionally above you, you know, like a superior somebody at
you're at your work that is that is of you know,
I don't superiority isn't the right word, but you know
(24:00):
what I'm saying, like like a boss, like a boss,
you know, professionally, it can really damage you, you know,
like it can really affect you in a big way.
And so I think when I was starting out in
my career that was really really tough for me. But
I'm really grateful that I had certain people like Ryan
was one of those people, and there was a couple
other producers behind the scenes that really believed in me
(24:23):
and saw the potential in me and kind of carried
me through even above all the other noise. So did
you have training to be on air or did your
personality in your life just lead you there. So it's funny.
I was a journalism major in college, but I was
doing print journalism, so it's very, very different. It's not broadcast.
(24:44):
But I started out as a producer for the Honor
with Ryan Seacrest morning show. So I was always behind
the scenes and I loved it. But I had like
a really good rapport and with Ryan. And so when
the co host at the time got her own morning
show gig and they were auditioning new people to be
the co host, they basically approached me and said, we
(25:05):
would love to create a third mic position for you,
want to bring you on? Are so like, I, oh, yeah,
it was pretty incredible. Huge deal. Huge deal doesn't happen,
especially in La Oh. People would like cut off their
left leg to get that gig. I'm sure there would
be if they announced auditions, there'd be millions of people
to audition and they're like, there you go, can you have?
(25:27):
It's not that funny about life. So this goes back
to life. It's like you what's meant for you? Will
find you it will. It's really crazy. And I wrote
about this in the book too, because I think, you know,
people can find themselves in different testimonies, and I think
that I started out working for a morning radio show
in Tucson, which is where I was in college. And
(25:50):
it was at the time where the economy there wasn't
a lot of people were graduating and not getting jobs,
Like the economy was just very, very bad, and so
I was like, I have a job, so I'm just
gonna stay in Tucson and keep doing this morning radio show.
Right the like massive layoffs happened. They let off all
their part time employees. Mind you, I'm twenty one years old,
so this is the height of where you're taking things personally.
(26:13):
And I also didn't have a relationship thought at the time,
so I was just an emotional basket case, totally nuclear
combination right there. Yeah. I was like, they let me go,
I'm a horrible employee, like everything personal, when really I
was just a number and it was just a financial
decision for them. Had I not been laid off from
that position and I was forced basically to come home
(26:35):
La Orange County, I never would have had this opportunity
and never would have been a part of the on
Earth Ryan Seacrest Morning Show. And it was God literally
pushing me out of that position that I was in
a Tucson to bring me to the bigger platform that
he wanted me on. But at the time it was horrible.
It was say, I feel like, I'm like you, like
I was such a helpless romantic. I have been like
(26:57):
I was in love with love, looking so deeg before
at heart broken all the time. But it's like God's
finally like, Okay, do I have to just like break
your heart into million pieces for you to get the message? Yes,
yes you do, Okay, please, that's the only way I'm
going to receive it. Yeah. But like that, I will
never forget being let go from or fired or whatever.
For me, it was let go. But being rejected from
(27:18):
a job is the ultimate heartbreak because it's it's so
it's very here, you personally did not do a good
enough job because you are not fulfilling what that employer needs.
And I totally yes, it's like so personally you're like,
but I gave it everything I had and you're firing
me really, And I'm like, I'm graduating, supposed to be
(27:39):
the best time of my life. And I was like
so upset, But I love that because heartbreak really and
when when do you have a massive heartbreak or a
huge terrible thing that feels terrible in your life? There
is going to be a rebirth after it, Like there
will and it's going to be better. I mean I
(27:59):
feel like it really will. It might be bad for
a while, but there will be redemption and something that
is so wonderful that you could have never planned for
because it wasn't in our plans. Yeah, that's amazing. So
and then how did you get to La rock Out?
How did you get involved? And like you're doing producing
and you're behind the scenes. Where did your story so unconventional?
(28:20):
I grew up between Chicago and England. My dad's Britishish
and so in England for all of my elementary school
years and then that awesome. It was the best. I
loved it. I still love England. England feels more like
home to me than Chicago. So if I like, in
an ideal world, I'd love to live between LA and London.
(28:40):
What is it like growing up in England? Uh, it's
really nice, you know, It's the British people they're very genuine,
like I had my friends, so it's a more simple life.
I mean we lived out. We're in Cambridge and you know,
kind of in a village. I studied in Cambridge, did
I didn't in high school? I said at Cambridge University. Yeah,
(29:02):
Cambridge Universities and one of the best universities in the world.
It was amazing. I lived there for a month and
I had the most like just magical time. So you know,
you know all about Cambridge, that's where you live. I
lived in Cambridge. Yeah, that's a little cool, sevezy, and
you know, it's a simpler life, right like you have.
It's almost be like growing up in the country. But
(29:24):
I loved it. Yeah, it was great. I had an accent,
so yeah, it was awesome. Anyways, then I was twelve,
family moved back to Chicago. Lived in Chicago from twelve
to eighteen, and then I was in my first semester
of college and I wasn't loving my school and I
but I had a boyfriend and then it ended and
(29:46):
it was a bad breakup. And during that time, my
dad got a job transfer to move to la and
so he said, you know, do you want to move
with the family. I have two younger brothers and my mom.
And had that breakup not have happened, which at the
time was really devastating, I would have never moved. I
would have been like just staying again. Yeah, it was.
It was the rebirth right. So it's like a heartbreak
(30:09):
pushed you pushed me into really about my destiny. And
so there was like a six month window of time
and I didn't like my school and there was a
woman at my church who was a news anchor for
Fox News in Chicago, and I said, can I just
come work for you for six months before I moved
to LA to decide if I still want to keep
on the journalism path. She said yes. I worked for her,
(30:30):
and I loved the news business because every day was different.
We would go out and do stories and like it
was really really fun and cool. And she was like,
I think you're gonna love LA. And anyways, long story short,
I moved to LA. She connects me with my first
job out here, which had nothing to do with the news.
It was like I was managing this high end art
show room in Beverly Hills and I was taking community
(30:51):
college classes at Santa Monica College and my goal was
to transfer to USC or at the they have a
great journalism program. Then during the time, I mean this
was I was nineteen, I was like eleven years ago.
Now the whole business was changing, right, So it used
to be with broadcast journalism. You would get your four
year degree. Then you go to a small market and
(31:12):
you know, Ioa, Kansas or Florida or something, and then
gradually work your way up to the big networks. And
I started to really once I made friends out here,
I started to really like my life, and I was like, oh,
that's never going to be for me. I don't want
to move. I don't want to like you know, and
that's just part of it. And so then I started
doing freelance work for teen Vogue and I would do
(31:35):
like red carpet stuff for American Music Awards, snapchat takeovers.
So I was still working at this showoman doing freelance stuff.
I worked as an assistant. I mean, like, my path
was so unconventional. When I tell you, it is beyond
I love that though. Yeah, flow, you've really gone with
your flow. I went with the flow. I worked for
(31:56):
Selena and then then I ended up shifting into in
like end of twenty eighteen working project based with her.
So we have a cooking show together on HBO Max
called Selena plush Chef, and and then we did the
documentary which I was a producer on and also in.
And then I realized, like I really want to, you know,
(32:17):
work on projects, whether it be through a book or
through a video podcast series or through a documentary that
are making a difference and that are helping people. And
so my path was a very unconventional one. But now
I'm I'm producing a couple of other projects and all
in the space of helping people, of making a difference.
(32:39):
And so when people are like, how did you get
to where you are right now? There is no formula,
there is no path, There is no even you asked
if we're what are daily routines? I have stuff I
do day today, There is no routine. So I take
pilates classes, but I like fit them in that I
found that really for my mental health, helps me to
(33:01):
calm down. I do a lot of walks, I pray,
but it's like it's so much a part of my
daily life. There's no like scheduled time. But also that's
because I don't have a job where I'm like going
into an office and have to schedule things that way.
And it's more like just becoming aware of your nervous
system too. Yeah, and like your mental capacity because I
(33:22):
can feel it now, like if I haven't had a
yoga class, or if I've been with too many people
do too many things, I can feel it coming on.
You know, it's like I need. It's also about like
kind of figuring out how you are and how you operate,
you know what I mean. Like I'm the opposite, Like
my life is very routine and very regiment and then
I have a schedule. So like to me, I love
to get to bed at a certain time. I love
to make my bed in the morning. I love to
(33:43):
make my coffee at home. I like to like I
make my food the night before. I like to know
what I'm eating the next day. I like to have
it with me because I'm constantly, like you know what
I mean, I never know what well because you're waking
up so early, and especially if you know you want
to feel good, so you want to make sure you
have your right fuel already ready, and you want to
do that the night before because you got to wake
up with a buck crack to probably get to the
(34:04):
radio station. So that makes so much sense. You're setting
yourself up for success by eliminating variables that you can
eliminate so you can then show up and do your
job and be exactly wrong. And it's like that's it's
unique to what works for you, and it is what
you said. It's paying attention to your nervous system and
and honoring that. Yeah, and like realizing, Okay, like if
(34:28):
you've gone to work a few times and like you're
stressed out every time it came to lunch and you
ended up eating shit food and then you felt bad,
you know, it's like, okay, it's worth it in your
life and your scenario to prioritize making sure you're meal
prepped and all the idea. It's so true. It's like
knowing yourself and what works for you and listening to
our body. That is like something that I try to
(34:50):
do now all the time, Like really listen to myself.
What is myself telling me? I'm I tired? Am I
stressed out? Do I need to recharge? I have tons
of energy right now? I need to like move it
and have ideas and like trusting the flow in the season,
because I feel like our bodies communicate to us all
the time. Just yeah, but I love to to kind
of like circle back on both of y'all stories that
(35:10):
for people listening. And I especially love to talk to
people who feel lost because I have felt lost so
many times in my life. And I'm also like you guys,
like if I was to break down to you my
life and how I ended up podcasting and like doing
what I do, I could I could never give you
a formula like I have literally been like trial by
fire and era error or just like trusting the next
(35:30):
move that felt right, you know, like just kind of
trusting my intuition. But I feel like if you trust
your intuition and you know that you're made for something,
and you feel and you feel it, like you know
you can feel when you're on to what feels good,
you know, for your life, and I feel like if
you just keep trusting that and taking the moves and
the risk and like following the heartbreaks and like doing
(35:52):
the next thing that feels right, like that's to me,
the only way to end up where you're supposed to go.
What do you guys think? What if you're talking to
someone who just feels completely lost and need the next move?
How would you what would you tell them? Oh, I
mean I've been there, like so many times over right,
It's it's that's where again it comes back to going inward,
(36:13):
focusing on your inner life and just being so straight
up with I don't know if you feel comfortable praying
or if you just feel comfortable, like maybe it's just
putting out an intention and meditating. Ill will say out loud,
I'd be like, God, I'm so confused right now, I
feel so lost. I don't know what direction to take.
Please help to give me wisdom and discernment as to
(36:34):
what the next right move is and give me peace.
So I'll pray that out loud, and then I'll spend
time if I'm going for a walk, just thinking about
things that I'm grateful for having gratitude, even just to
be in nature or whatever, because I think when we
go back to gratitude, it brings us back to a
centered place. And sometimes if you don't know what to
(36:59):
do and something's in front of you, it's just making
that next step, and if it's wrong. I found that
even when something is a wrong step, it redirects you
into what's right, Yeah, I think that's I think that's
like hitting the nail on the head. I think sometimes
often people you look at the big picture and you
can't really break it down, and I like, you know,
let's use an example. If somebody is very overweight and
(37:22):
for their health they need to lose I don't even know,
let's say one hundred pounds, right. That sounds very taxing.
It sounds like I'll never get that done. That sounds impossible.
But if you break it down and you really kind
of just start taking small little steps, whatever that may be,
you know, eliminating something out of your diet, being active daily,
(37:45):
whether it's just a walk, you know, and then gradually
just stepping forward and continuing on on that journey. It's
like taking these little steps. And I think even this
book was a testimony to that, because I knew I
wanted to write a book right twenty eighteen, forever ago,
and I didn't exactly know what it was. And I
started doing a proposal of a dating book, something completely different,
(38:07):
and it didn't work out, and then this kind of
came to be. So it was like, you it might
not work out, Like the first step you take might
not be the step you're supposed to take, but it
will you eventually will get there. And I think sometimes too,
when people are starting their own businesses, everything just seems
very grand, like the task seems so big. But it's like,
(38:28):
if you just start making small changes and consistently keep
moving forward, you're going to get there. That is so true.
And going back to the book example, you ended up
sharing dating advice, like you shared so many amazing pieces
of dating advice, so you have that in there as well.
It's just being open to letting it move and evolve
(38:49):
and take shape. And yeah, this letting it have its
own lights, like having the idea and then just kind
of letting it grow and evolve, not holding it. What
was that you said? Hopefully optimistic, not outcome to the possibility,
not attached to the outcome. Oh I love that. Yeah,
I love that. I love that. Y'all are amazing. The
Sunshine Mine Tan, your rad and Rockhill Stevens awesome. Everyone
(39:12):
needs to grab it. It's a great devotional. It's just
a great daily read too, and you can read the
whole thing at once if you want to. It's one
of those you can carry in your purse. It's like
it's just like great reminders and you'll have great, great stories.
Thank you for coming on. I always wrap up with
leave your Light, which is perfect for you, sun light
beams of just radiating love. Leave your light. What do
(39:33):
you want people to know? It's super open ended. Yeah,
Prioritize your inner life and the external will always flow
and work out the way that it's meant to. And
if you don't know how to do that, something really
simple and practical that you can start with is just
close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, focus on
(39:54):
the things in your life that you're grateful for, and
immediately watch your body, feel your body shift into a
more centered place. And I think that's a great place
to start if you can start each morning that way.
Love that. I would say rejection is God's redirection. So
if you're going through something in your life where you're
(40:17):
being rejected, whether it's romantical, romantical, romantical, you're funny or professional, um,
just know that it's God redirecting you to something even
bigger and better. You might not see it. It It may
not come to fruition in a month, two months, six months,
two years, but it will come. Love that y'all are awesome.
(40:38):
I'm so glad y'all have become this dynamic powerhouse duo
teaming up blessing the world with this book, and you're amazing.
Just love radiation that you're putting out there, the sunshine mine,
Everyone grab it. It's honestly, this is a great gift too.
This is just great. That's a great gift. Where where
can everyone find you? Guys? We are on Amazon, Borns
(40:59):
and Noble Target M and audio version is also available
as well. Any Instagrams to follow. Oh yeah at Riquel
Stevens and I'm at Tanya rad Yeah, are awesome. Thankyas
so much for coming on. Are doing as well. We
really appreciate your time. Yeah, really appreciate the Hey, I
think we're all just trying to spread this message. You know,
(41:21):
it's it's I just want I'm with you. I want
people to hear this stuff and realize that, like, you're
not stuck, there's a way out. It's higher, it takes work,
but everyone can get there. Yeah. Absolutely, y'all have a
great day. Bye bye bye.
Host
Caroline Hobby
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.