July 11, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode we play a new game called Who's the biggest idiot? We have 3 contestants who each have a different story where they do something stupid and we have to decide which one is the winner. Ray reveals something shocking about his Dad's baseball career and Cousin Andrew is heading to Cooperstown so watch the Hall of Fame inductions.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh man, happy frid Day. I mean, wow, did you
see those baseball games last night? That's not what we're
gonna talk about.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Do people still get excited about Fridays? I'm asking, like
parents and stuff. Is it still that feeling we used
to have?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, because I don't have to wake up and come
to work. Because here's the thing. During summertime, every day
is Friday when you have kids, because they have nowhere
to go and they're always at home, so every day
is a Friday. They don't get the concept of Friday.
You don't have to do any work because they're on
summer break. So every day is they don't have to
do any work.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Is it called Friya Still yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I still call it Friday.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Baser hit me up this morning and she said Friday.
We used to do it every day every Friday. When
we first started dating. We'd say Happy Friday. And now
she hits me and.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
We haven't done those Friday thing and maybe I'd say
a year, and then randomly.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Today she goes, happy Friday's back.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Wait wait, wait, no, she said Friday. She didn't say Frye.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
We don't say frye anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
We got old why why can you not? You should
respond and be like happy fry ye yeah, say I
think you meant fry ya, and then send her a
picture of Rebecca Black. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
When we fort in back in twenty fourteens first started dating,
it was happy fr yea. And then she'd say broad
Way Patio and I'd go.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yay and I would say nay, yeah, we don't.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
We don't talk like old people. Now.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, it's sort of like my wife and I when
we were dating for some reason, at some restaurant I
think it was California Pizza Kitchen we went to. She
went to the bathroom, so I hid a thing of
silverware in her purse genius, and she found it, like
you know whatever, a day later or whatever. And so
now and then when we were dating, when she I
was at her house or she would hide the silverware
(01:59):
at my house, and then when I would find it,
I would hide it in her house. And now we
hide it around our house still. We still have the
silverware from Fornia Pizza Kitchen in the napkin, wrapped up
and I just found it. It was there was a
swimsuit that I got for free, I don't know where,
and it's just been sitting in my closet and when
(02:20):
I was packing to go on vacation, I was looking
for my swimsuit that I wear and I picked up
that swimsuit found the silverware.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Originally that was funny in the purse. I don't know
if it carries over for twenty years to your new
location in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah. I don't know if it does either. But it's
sort of like my brother.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Like, did you laugh when you go to get your
swimsuit and there's silverware from California Pizza Kitzend in your bathtub?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Can? I? And it went in my bathtub, it was
on my it was on my account of the shelf
in the closet, like it was in the clean clothes.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I think it loses it.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I laughed, Oh, like I started. I started picking up.
I was like, why is this so heavy? And then
I picked it up and here comes the silverware falling out.
I was like, oh that, Well, you know what we do.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Our cat will attack stuff, so we know the stuff
it'll tip over and break. We know the stuff that won't.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
My cologne always tips over, breaks and ooh, so I
hide Colonne throughout the house. Chapstick sunglasses. We hide it well,
then we forget where we.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Hide the crap.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's the problem.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
My two hundred dollars spice bomb, Colonne, I cannot find.
I hid it one night after a couple of drinks
from the cat. Haven't found it in six months. Oh see,
you're playing with yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
So when you find the days, you're gonna be like,
oh my gosh, and you're gonna laugh and you're gonna
have that memory. And so the silverware, I thought it
was kind of dead. I don't know how long ago
she hid it in these swim trunks because I've had
these swim trunks for a year and I've never worn them,
and they just been sitting on my shelf. So it
was a great hiding place because I never would have thought,
(03:51):
but I was looking for the one I actually wear
and I picked that up, thinking, oh, maybe it's underneath it,
and I found the silverware.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Are the kids involved? Hers? It just you and your
wife with California piece kitchen silverware.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Just me and the wife. The kids have no idea,
They don't know where that the silverware exists.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Dude, I hate to be Debbie Downner. It's just not
still funny. It's not the first time you did it
in the purse. Guys, if you're out there in your
twenties and you're dating right now, dudes, chicks, whatever, they
probably got the man bag. Hide some silverware from a
restaurant in the man bag.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
That is funny. No, no, but it dies then that night.
It's never funny again.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I hate to tell you. It doesn't have to be
just men in your twenties. It can be if you're
married and you go out to dinner and your wife
goes to the bathroom, you hide silverware in her purse
or a plate in her purse. When they find it
when they get home, they are going to be like
what And you are going to have the greatest laugh ever.
Because I'm gonna tell you this. We were at the
lake House and Batter's Box was there.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
What if everybody that's Batter's Box here with us?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
And his wife was there, and we talked about the
first time we went out to dinner together, and it
was at Magiano's that was awkwarl and it was very
awkward because we were sitting there, my wife and my
now wife, we were dating. We show up and we
were a couple of minutes late, and they're like, oh,
we already put our name in. Let's go to the
bar and get a drink. And Batter's Boxes like they
(05:14):
said it'd be about thirty minutes. So we're sitting there
at the bar having a drink. At thirty one minutes,
my brother's girlfriend now wife, flew off the handle. She
goes up to the hostess stands and says, hey, is
my table ready? And they're like, no, ma'am. She's like,
you said thirty minutes. It has now been thirty one minutes.
(05:35):
Why is a table not available?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Geesh?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And they were like, well, we can't. We kind of guestimate.
We don't know exactly how long someone's going to take
to eat. Some people take a little bit longer. Some
people like to sit down and order right away, and
so sorry about that. And some we have some reservations.
Oh really, you'd rather save a table for people with
reservations than someone is right here in front of you
(06:00):
ready to spend their money.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Sesh. I mean, she just blew a gasket. She sounds
like a fire cracker.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And my brother looks at me, Batter's Box looks at
me and goes.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Ray that wick has been dimmed over the years.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
No, no, it hasn't, oh, he said. They said thirty
to forty five. But I just told her at thirty.
I didn't know she was going to go lose it
at thirty. So great. So then they about five minutes later,
they call her name. We get a table, but I
sit at the bar and wait, and they go sit
down and we're sitting there eating, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And then at the end of the meal, batter's box
has to go to the bathroom. His girlfriend has to
go to the bathroom. So what am I gonna do.
She's got a bigger purse, like a kind of like a.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Bag, almost Belciaga.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I don't think it was a name brand, but it
was just a bag.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It might have been burking.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
So in her purse slash bag, I put a breadplate, fork, knife, spoon,
and a super bowl.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I bet that one overwhel And she.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Didn't know until she got home. And so when we
were at the lake and we were reliving this story,
she brought it out. She goes, No, the funniest thing
that happened that night is we get home and there's
a freaking breadplate, a soup bowl, and a silverware packet
in my freaking bag. So to say that it only
(07:30):
lasts that joke is only funny one time. And they
held onto it for six years because it had a
story behind it, and they would put it out when
people would come over. They would give them that bowl,
or they'd give them that silverware and be like, you
know how we got that silverware, and they would tell
the story. So hiding the silverware in the plates and
stuff and someone's bag is always funny.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Stealing isn't good. The one time is funny. Lisa vander
Pump says she has to go.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
When she was doing her reality show vander Pump Rules monthly,
they would go to the big box store and have
to get new napkins, new candle holders because so much
theft happens at restaurants.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
So that's just a side note. The other side note
is it has to progress now that we're adults. What
if say you're going for the swim trunks and out
pops it book. Okay, that's funny. Like if I was
about to go to South Beach and I'm going looking
reaching in for the blue swim trunks I love to wear.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh, Austin Bezer, it's a dildo.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's kind of funny. If you're going through TSA.
We've done that before. Where we're going to Wichita, that's
even funnier. And I put the uh the dough in
uh Carlos's bag, hoping that they would pull it aside
and search it. But they didn't do it, but it
was in there, and when he got to Witchital he
found it in there and just threw it away. But
(08:53):
I was hoping at security they were gonna be like, whoa,
what is this and they're gonna pull it.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I mean, that's the kind of humor that's fun at
security though, when they're doing the ten bags and they
got them all on the line. Yeah, the odds of
there being some sort of toy or device has one
of those because I'm just sitting there. Beser's one bag
always gets pulled and so we're just sitting there. I'm
waiting for the time the guy's gonna pull up a vibrators.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
To be it has to happen all the time. But
we really got to start the show because we have
such a great show playing for you. This was not playing.
I got a game for you fun is it the Feud? No? No,
it's for you and all the listeners, and I want
to know who they're what the vote is gonna say?
What is it?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Movie trivia? Ah?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, it's not gonna be it.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, no, no, name that tune.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Nope, nope, no, mmm, name the president, name that clap.
I'm gonna do different claps and you're gonna tell me
what celebrity claps like that?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
All right, all right, We're gonna do it live. Arnold
is on a four day week. Wow. He is headed
to South Beach.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah, he was really inspired by your stories. You want
to go check it out for himself.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
We're gonna do it live.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
We are the one, two three, so loser. What up, everybody?
I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports, so
I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions because
I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It'says and I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male.
I live on the north side of Nashville with Baser,
my wife. We do have two point two kids at Vanderbilt.
We have two point two acres in the country. Those
two point two kids are actually eggs. They're female eggs,
so they're not officially kids yet.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
A lot has to go on before they are indeed
children over to you.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So the game I have to play is we're gonna
play a game called Who's the Biggest Idiot?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What about the collapse?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
That was a joke to get people excited, like like,
do you know anybody's clap? Could you name one person's clap?
Like there's got to be a distinct coach clap. Other
than that, there's.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
This one.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Name that one I don't know. It was just a
one you could use exactly. So that's why we're gonna
play Who's the Biggest Idiot? Okay, Contestant number one is Justin.
So Justin decides that he is going to try to
organize a golf outing for Eric Dodd's fortieth birthday. Right,
(11:38):
so he texts over the vacation to Ray, myself and Dodd,
and he said, hey, boys, golf for fortieth birthdays. Dodd, Bowers,
Slater and Box scramble which date works best? Saturday the
July the twelfth or Saturday July the nineteenth. Oh I guess?
He said Saturday the nineteenth, and Ray responds of what
(12:02):
blanking month? And Justin responded, this month, dummy? Ray says,
what course and Justin responds, gray Stone, Legacy or Hermitage.
Those are the three options you get to choose from
a little pricey. But we're not going to the local
COMMUNI to celebrate a fortieth birthday. And that he waits
(12:25):
a total of thirty seconds. And it's seven fifty three
am when he's texting.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
This, and he's also firing it off while I'm on
my vacation that I haven't had for seven months.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Also why I'm on my vacation. But he's up at
the butt crack of dawn texting and when no one
replies within thirty seconds, he replies, July nineteenth, it is.
It's been settled, make it happen. So he has decided
that he is going to set the date like he
has set the date. And I said, just tell me
(12:58):
what time to be there, and then Eric Dodd, I'm
out of town both the twelfth and nineteenth. I said,
great job justin settling a date the birthday. Boy didn't
even isn't even available on He said, less than one
percent chance all four of us could make it. I'm
not trying to book a tea time for February twenty sixth.
(13:21):
I replied that would be a little cold, so I agree,
I'm not doing February twenty six. His response, All right, lunch,
you suggest a time, and that is contestant number one
for who's the biggest idiot.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
The idiot part of that one is you obviously would
clear the dates with the two birthday boys. It's in
the same vicinity of my birthday, vicinity of Dodd's birthday.
He didn't clear what anybody picks.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
A date, and it doesn't work for anybody, And it's
all under the guise of celebrating your birthday or you
just want to line up a scramble.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I mean, it's literally, I guess it's his birthday and
Dodds right.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
My birthday fortieth, Yeah, since my fortieth birthday. It's Dodd's
fortieth birthday. It's Dodd's wife's fortieth birthday. It's Matt Overton's fortieth.
Where did you just turn forty? I haven't, but in
two months, so I believe that's the same time month
as this July.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh okay, I see what you're saying. I got it.
Is he turning forty two, Justin and Justin's turning forty
Holy crap, I can there's a list of people that
are all turning forty this same year. That's why it's
even longer than the ones I named. But yeah, it
was for me and Dodd. And he didn't clear the
dates whatsoever. I laughed out loud when he's like, okay,
(14:37):
it's been settled.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
My twin brother.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
And he settles it on the nineties, Like does it
even get a chance for anybody to respond? And he
settles the date and without asking the birthday boys, and
the first birthday boy says, sorry, can't make it. I'm
out of town that date. Like, what an absolute idiot.
When I saw the text messages. Sorry I wasn't sitting
(15:02):
next to my phone when I'm at the lake just relaxing,
I laughed out loud, like, justin calm down. I know
you're sitting at the radio physiology unit at Vanderbilt and
you have nothing to do but demanding that we be
there on the twelfth or nineteenth. When that is not
okay with Eric Dodd. What an idiot. See, I tried,
there you go.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I tried to play on your birthdays, all right, man, thank.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
You man, I mean I tried. I knew that no
one else would do it, so I tried to step up.
No one was responding. Yeah, you gave us thirty freaking
seconds to respond. That's idiot number one one. When we
were gonna come back, We're gonna take a break, and
I have idiot number two. And as we continue to play,
who's the biggest idiot? No, biggest, because there's gonna be
(15:48):
three options. If it's bigger, there's only two options, right,
so it's biggest. Ready to try it again?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Yeah, who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's a fun game, isn't it. Yeah? I mean, have
you heard from Justin on the side because that text
thread died? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Oh we've Yeah, thats all these text threads die. I
delete them out and I never look at them again.
You know how many text threads I get? My dad
sends out ten to day.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Delete read it, delete, read it, delete read it, delete
justin dates read it delete. I'm onto new threads.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Oh, you're over there on threads. Yeah, that was a
great invention my Facebook. I mean they did threads. That's
really happened.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Two years ago. Dominican Republic baser, Hey, wake up, wake up,
there's a new app created. It's called Threads. You gotta
get on it's gonna be huge. Two years later it
has passed.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I don't even like when you watch the news, they
never say, hey, did you see this from threads?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It's dead. Twitter's dying.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Oh how how can Twitter die when he paid a
billion dollars for it?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Well, it's just completely different now.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I used to read it for good personalities, and it
would actually be to follow in, check in on people too.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Now it's just straight videos. I mean sometimes I get
a little little smut on there. Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, we'll take a break, we'll right back. Welcome back.
Are you ready for a round two of.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Who's the Biggest Idiot?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Contested? Number two? Me lunchbox because Gray. Let me tell you, buddy,
I told you all about the glass. I dropped the
pickle jar glass shot in my foot. It's been giving me.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I thought I got it all out, I got stitches,
everything's been grand. Well, Wednesday, I made an appointment. I
go to the podiatrist and I say, hey, listen, man,
I don't know what's going on, but there's got to
be something still in my foot because it hurts. I
can't walk.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Podiatrists strictly only feet foot.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Doctor, so he goes, let me get an X ray,
goes in there and takes an X ray, comes back
in says, yeah, man, I got bad news. You still
got glass in there. Said we're gonna have to do surgery.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
So do you think the one in Texas? Was that
just a quickie clinic? And then yeah, they weren't able
to use the good equipment.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Maybe I think it was a small town a quickie clinic.
He got a piece of glass and he just assumed
that was the last piece of glass.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
And so you were good with this random guy in
a random city in Texas telling you your foot is
good and he just scoured your entire foot and didn't
see any glass when he wasn't even present there to
see what glass originally went in your foot.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Well, I think that's any doctor. I don't know that
any doctor that because usually when you go to the doctor,
they're not there when the injury happens. So I just
assumed this guy did everything he could by looking in
my foot, digging around. I figured he found it all.
I don't know how doctors operate. He had a big
like light that he pulled down like when you do
it the dentist. When they pulled down the light above you.
(18:48):
He did that for my foot, so I assumed that
I was good to go.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
We got AI creating three D girlfriends that guys are banging,
and you're telling me they can't create some AI thing
to find the glass in your foot.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, maybe the small town doctors should have given an
X ray. Have you checked with AI doc? And he
didn't do an X ray, and the x ray may
have been able to show him that there was more
glass in my foot.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
He decided not to do that. I don't know why,
but I understand. You don't understand the process. But when
I go to the tire place, you know, they do some
color thing where they find any hole in your tire
within five seconds. Yeah, it's some colored diet. And they
couldn't do that with a human body foot.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah. Ray, they told me to drink my own piss.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
No, they didn't do it. They didn't do it. And
I'd been limping around and I before my Pedieti's appointment,
I saw two medical professionals in my neighborhood and I
asked them and the nurse said, ooh, that looks like
there's glass still in it. And then the doctor he said, oh, yeah,
I'd say there's probably something still in there, and he goes,
(19:49):
I don't really understand why the guy put his stitches
in it. He goes, he should have left it open.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
And we had mistakes. On top of glass still being
in there.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
He goes, that way, if you have an infection or
more glass, it could kind of maybe push its way out.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Doc, I'd like a second opinion.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
And I'm like, well, he puts stitch in there, you know,
And so up he goes, yeah, I wouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But two doctors in your neighborhood, no doctor and nurse
Ray they're the moat away on the other side, and
they're not married to each other.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
They live across the street from each other. One's a doctor,
one's a nurse.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
That explanation explains it all, thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
And so I go to the potiatrist and he tells
me it's still in there. He goes, we're going to cut
you open.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Did you tell him about the game you had?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
I told him, man, I got a double header to night,
and he goes, well, we're not going to do it today.
He goes, we're gonna have to put you under anesthesia.
We're going to put you under, and I'm like, what all?
Because I have a piece of glass in my foot.
He goes, I'm not sure how deep it is in there.
I'm gonna have to cut your foot back open and
I'm gonna have to dig in there.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
We could never be a hospital podcast. Dude, I'm like
cringing trying to hear this story. So the whole thing
of it, the glass being in the foot was tough
to hear. Yeah, and then the hooks and ears that
was tough.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
So Wednesday night, I'm like, I'm gonna go to my
soccer game.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
You're gonna play with the glass messy.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
And I put my shoes on and I tried to
run in the backyard and I said, text team, I'm out, guys.
I can't do it. I tried to do it. It hurts.
I thought the adrenaline would take over, but I still
am limping. I'm gonna have surgery tomorrow on Thursday, and
I'm gonna get the glass out of my foot. And
so on Thursday, I wake up, I eat leftover eggs.
(21:33):
I'm leftover refried black beans and a tortilla melt, some cheese.
Kind of made myself some breakfast Tacos. I come to
work and surgery is scheduled. Bones gave me the no
surgery schedule for one pm on Thursday, and I show
up to the hospital and I get checked in, They
(21:54):
give me my wristband. The kids are there, the wife
is there because they don't know how it's gonna go,
you know, and anesthesia is like you go under, you
don't know if you're coming back out right.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
And you're over the blaming. You're not blaming your wife
at this point, are you.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
No. I don't blame my wife because.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
There's all these emotions regret, hatred, regret, remorse at all
of the rs, and I just don't want you to
blame her.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
No, I don't blame her at all. And it's really
my fault. She handed me the No.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
She was careless in handing you a glass object. I
mean it's not like she was handing you something rubber,
you know, like a.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
A glass object should be handed with two hands. I'm
handing you glass.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
No she did.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh and you still dropped it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
And I literally what you try to do?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Kobe it? You like dunked the blastic glass. Dude.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I don't know why I still hold it with one hand.
I did, dude, what are you Jordan? I I palmed
the toad.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Hey, excuse my fresh, but grab that fucker with two hands.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
I palmed all these kids.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Nowadays, you guys are doing you know you got your
behind the back. You know you're dancing a little bit
before you shoot it.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Back in the day, two hands the ball, three point
stance with the velastic turn around, set it on the counter.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
So they taught us the three point saying two.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Hands on the ball, two hands on the plastic, like
two hands the alligator chomp on a ground ball because
if it bounces up, you can keep it in your glove.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
You tried to catch the ball with one hand in
the outfield. I tried to show boat a little bit
at lunchtime at the lake. You know, I just grabbed
it by the top, and I guess I didn't grab
it all the way and it went sliding down, and
that's when I moved my foot. The glass penetrated my
body and has been giving me a nightmares for two
weeks now.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
So I have my eggs. I come to work, I
have some trail mix, drinking some water. No big deal.
We get off work my wife is waiting down in
the garage to take me to the hospital. I limp
down there, get in the car. Kids are in a
great mood because they've been sitting down there for twenty
minutes and not moving. No police escort, no police escort,
(24:15):
which I was a little disappointed by. And we roll
up to the hospital and take the elevator up and
we walk in. They check in, give him my wristband.
We brought uno for the kids. Because they're gonna they
have to be there the whole time. An adult that
is gonna drive you to and from has to be
present the entire time. So my wife has to have
(24:36):
three kids in the lobby the entire time. I'm in
there getting cut up on, and so they check me in.
We sit down, I'm.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Talking and gibbles Jason.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
They open the door and they go, Gibbles, Gibbles.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Please don't say it out loud. I'm a local celebrity.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And I give baby Box to a hug. I give
baby three hugs.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Are you sitting with the commoners?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, I give my wife a hug, and I give
baby Box a hug. And I'm like, all right, guys,
I'll see you on the other side.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They're gonna remember all this now, Just so you know,
they're not gonna remember even the fish. They're gonna remember
Dad dropping the velastic.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh that's all they're gonna talk about. They're gonna talk
about how Dad had to go in and have surgery.
And I go in and they put me on the scale,
they take my temperature, they get me in the bed.
They had me take off my shoes and they give
me these like hospital socks. I put all my belongings
in this white plastic bag. They scenth it up and
(25:40):
they're asking me a couple of questions and they're like,
all right, and the wind's the last time you ate?
And I'm like, oh, you know, I ate this morning.
I had some eggs and she her him eggs and
refried beans, tortillas and cheese and they're like what And
I'm like, yeah, I had eggs. And they're like, oh,
hold on, I'll right back.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's why you told us earlier the exact breakfast. I
was wondering there was a point to that.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
And they get on the phone and he comes back
over and goes, man, I got some bad news fast,
because we're not gonna be able to do it today fast.
He goes, line one of the instructions we sent home
with you when you left the Padiasra's office. He says,
do not eat or drink anything after midnight the day
of your surgery.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And you didn't stop eating.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
And I said, oh, I didn't eat that. They said,
let me call the doc where we're trying to figure
out if we can still do this, how we can
handle this. Just bear with us.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Did you tell them if they wait thirty minutes, you
can excrete it? And so I sat there and he goes,
give me a cup of coffee, and twenty minutes a doc,
I should be good.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
And he comes back and he goes, yeah, man, after
talking to the doc, it's just we're not gonna be
able to do it. It's not a safe move to
that you've eaten all right, Mick Dreamy said, So basically
I should have lied to you and told you I
didn't eat. And he goes, oh, no, no, no, no. This
is a matter of life and death.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
So if you had a breakfast taco and then when
got surgery, you could.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Die if you're under anesthesia. Noted, I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Sorry, honey, can't eat at one and a million this
morning breakfast tacos. If by chance I have to have
an anesthesia, all die.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I don't know, right, that's a great question. That's a
great question.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
I mean, what if it's an emergency anesthesia.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
That's a great point.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
So we honestly should never have a big meal in
case we have an antistia.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
In case, in case we're gonna like we get in
a car, right.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I can't do the appetizers, guy, You never know what
you need an anesthesia nowadays.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, the only time you can eat is when you're
going to sleep, because you know no accidents are gonna happen.
So you're not gonna eat an anesthesia.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
So it's like, oh, I ate a butterfinger last night
after midnight.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I can't get an anesthesia today.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
So he's on the dock trying to find a time
schedule when next time I can go in and get
the glass out.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Let me get you with my guy tour is what
his name is, family doctor.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And so he goes, man, we're pretty booked up tomorrow. Man.
He goes, can you come early in the morning. I said, no,
I have a job that works in the morning. He goes,
all right, let me get back on the phone with
the doc.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
The HVAC sales I do air conditioning, and he calls.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
The doctor and he goes, this is what we can do.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Oh that phone, you didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
He goes, you can come in Friday, be here at
one o'clock. I can't tell you what time your surgery
is gonna be, but if you're here at one, we'll
squeeze you in at some point before five.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
What is this a service tech coming to your house
for a cable?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
And so after being back there in the bed for
twelve minutes, I come walking through the doors and I'm like,
I'm done, and my wife's that was it?
Speaker 1 (28:53):
That was it?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
And all three kids come running up to me, Oh, Dad,
do you feel better? Do you feel better? And I
look at him and I said, guys, we couldn't do
it today. And my wife's like.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
What see another bad Joe. She's like, that's not funny.
I have to do the same thing tomorrow exactly. No,
not only that, not only that hilarious joke, but we
had a vet appointment yesterday. Had to cancel it. I mean,
double it up. Whatever they're doing to the dog telling
to put that in your foot we.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Had to cancel the vet appointment.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
What you need iver mechtin You need that horse tranquilizer
right up your ass.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
We were supposed to have someone come take pictures of
our kitchen, had to cancel that all because I'm having
surgery and she had an appointment today with the kitchen people.
She had to cancel that now because she has to
be there again today.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
And they're like, why is there no glass in the kitchen?
And sorry, my husband had an ask we.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Don't allow glass in our house, oh, because the three kids, No,
because of my dumb ass husband.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
He tried to one hand of velassic jar.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
So I said, yeah, one of the jump pulle ones,
like the biggest lastic jar you've ever seen. Because the
whole family's there and you tried to one hand it. Dude,
I would have grabbed that thing with a potholders. I said, yeah,
apparently I wasn't supposed to eat, and she goes, yeah,
(30:22):
it's right there on the instructions. I said, no, it
was not on the instructions. And she pulls out the
folder because of course that's what women do. They have
the folder with them and they are very detail oriented.
The first line ray. When I say the first line
of the paper, it says do not eat or drink
anything after midnight the day of surgery.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Who's the biggest idiot? You?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Literally, I said, I didn't even see that line because
the line below that is you are to arrive at
blank time on blank day, and they have that written
in all caps.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
What are you dyslexic too?
Speaker 3 (30:59):
No?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
No, the all caps.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I'm prepping it for the big show.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
The all caps draws your eyes to it. So I
didn't even see that first line.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
It's like our biometric thing here at work. They always
the guy goes, hey, did you eat? And you never
know what if you're supposed to say yes or no?
I go, uh y, yeah, no yeah, and he goes it,
either's fine, okay, why'd you even ask me?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah? So, me not reading the instructions, me eating caused
all these things, all these things to be canceled.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
And I was still driving. You were squirreling away nuts
the entire morning. Bones gave us a two minute break
and you were stuff in your face, and you know
what that time, you were not supposed to be eating.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
So my surgery was canceled because I couldn't read the instruction.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Actually, you were eating all in morning. The breakfast tacos
worn't the only time you ate. You finished up an
entire bag of granola. Dude, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Stop eating yesterday morning. I know, and I didn't realize
what a big deal it was. I didn't know it
was life threatening, and therefore I ripped off the freaking
little bandage on my arm and we hobbled back down
to the car. There was steam coming out of my
wife's ears, and she was like, I can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh, but also, I mean, people have lost their homes.
You guys are just what are you doing updating a kitchen?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah perspective, Yeah, we're getting a kitchen refresh. But that's
contestant number two on who's the Biggest Idiot. We'll take
a break and we'll go to contestant three and four.
Right after this.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Ray, I thought there was only two contestants.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh no, that would be bigger idiot. There's one more
set of idiots, and they are they go together, and
it's nobody we know, or at least I hope we
don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Homeless guy on the street No, no, no, he lost
it job and now he has the panhandle Who's the
biggest Idiot?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
No, that's not it. This is contestant three and four on.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Who's the biggest Idiot?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
When I said this in my head last night, when
I came up with this whole game, it went a
lot smoother, and I thought it was a lot funnier.
Maybe this isn't funny, but I still think it's funny.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Right.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You ever heard of Cooperstown?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
No, yes, I've heard of it.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Yeah. Well, I guess they have baseball tournaments there all summer,
like All Star Games. I don't really understand. But you
qualify and you make it to Cooperstown.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
It's a big deal in Washington, d C.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
It's the Hall of Fame. Supposedly, kids dream about playing
in Cooperstown one time. I had never heard that they
had kids tournaments there. I always thought that the Little
League World Series was the big highlight. But I guess
Cooperstown is a big deal. Also Williamsport, Williams Sport, that's
where it's at. Well, Ray, there was a team from Illinois.
(34:05):
They qualified for Cooperstown. They make their way up there
to Cooperstown, New York. And guess what, cousin Andrew, He's
going to New York. It's in New York, in Cooperstown
in New York. Now, I know, I would assume. But
cousin Andrew was headed there to see each Row get
inducted into the Hall of Fame. Okay, deserved him and
(34:27):
his buddy booked the trip. They said, we're going. They
didn't even know who was going to be in the
get nominated this year? Who was they were going.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
It's gonna say big Eachierro guy.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Unless you're a Mariners fan, there's Eachiero was the first
one to come from across the pond.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Though.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Billy Wagner going into the Hall of Fame this.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Year actually show he's my favorite player. Makes sense.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
The late great Dave Parker going into the Hall of
Fame this.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Year not deserved. My dad played with him.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Really Yeah, I just found out too. My dad got
a hit off fish Hunter and Eckersley.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
No crap. Yeah, in spring training that's pretty cool, Like, Dad,
why have you never told me that I'm thirty nine
years old and you just now tell me that. Yeah,
I thought that was pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Huh yeah you think uh you buried the lead there, dad.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
So there's a slapping them around in spring training Eckersley.
It throws him a high curveball. He takes it up
the middle.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
There was a team from Lake Bluff, Illinois. They're at
Cooperstown and the coaches are thinking, how can we inspire
these kids? How can we motivate these kids? How can
we get them excited? How can we get them going?
So they took the kids to the field and they said, kids,
(35:49):
this is how it's gonna go. And the coaches stripped
down naked and ran the bases.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Funny what what but not necessary? What not allowed?
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Funny?
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Well, we had football, we had football. I think the
kids were probably too young, we were middle schoolers. We
had football coaches that getting naked at camp and think
it was funny? Who did coach? You'd be in a
it'd be two a days and you go to a.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Camp and your coach got naked.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Yeah, just be funny. Not like he just ran through
the house naked. You probably just saw his ass.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
But we were older. What that's a normal story?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
What? What? What normal? What is normal about two coaches
getting naked and running the bases in Cooperstown.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That's in public, That's what I'm saying. That's that's not good.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
But I see the thing with trying to motivate kids
with humor and nudity.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Oh, well, you can't do it in public. That's where
he went wrong. No, not the biggest idiot.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
No, No, where he went wrong was getting naked on the
little league field with these little league children. And and
here's my question, not not one coach, but two coaches
decided this was a good idea. So who goes to who?
And when you're going over your pre game or pre
practice meeting, Hey, Ray, I really think I got an idea.
(37:20):
How we're going to motivate everybody, all the kids this weekend.
You know, team stinky Pants. If we get naked and
run around the field, they're you know what, Jim, that's
a great idea. Who's gonna get naked first?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Me?
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Or like, well, with our games if it was a
weekend tournament, baseball coaches are packing coolers.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
They're probably deep a couple, so you.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Know, you'd in the game and immediately they're stocking the
cooler with ice beer.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Oh those aren't for you, guys. Yeah, gatorades are warm.
They're in the back of the vehicle. Yo, these are
the ice beers. That's all. It was nothing but coolers
and coaches car for his beers.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
So but really, who how do you convince both both
of them to get naked? You would think one of them.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
I'm telling you alcohol was involved for sure, and it's
it's okay. It's those weekend, long weekends, you're going to
your job.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
You're already a little cuckoo from it.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
And then I'm not.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
I don't I'm trying to justify an idiot. No, it
doesn't need to be justified. But I am telling you,
Governor that it's illegal. They're gonna probably face some penalties,
they're probably gonna lose their job. But it's understandable in
a way, rough week, have some fun on the weekends.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Alcohol involved, shouldn't have done it. A little bit of
regirt y, yo.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
My question is how much alcohol have you had? Like,
when is the last time you had so much alcohol
you went to a little league field and ran around
the bases naked with kids in the dugout? Yeah? When
how much alcohol causes you to run around naked in
front of your niece and nephew.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
They are big idiots, They're not the biggest idiots.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Somebody else takes the cake on that one.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I mean, I can't believe people are that stupid kid.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I would have never done that with you boys.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I was always fully clothed and had my little whitey
tidy grundies.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
On, and I was ready to play some baseball. Boys.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Cup check, boyes, cup check.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Now, let's play ball. Put your steps on, let's go,
let's goe cup check. Always keep your clothes on, boys
and cut for the stars.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Kid, he never did that. He never got naked at
Cooper's down and ran around the bases. And I am
shocked with your reaction. I thought your reaction was gonna
be like, what the hell is wrong with people? And
you said, quote, oh, my coach used to do that.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Well, and I also coach, dude, I had a friend
in college who ran through a Blockbuster naked, So.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
That's your friend.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I know this is a coach. You never said ages.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Little league is. I don't care how old they are.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
No, what I'm saying the coaches, man, what if they're
it's still illegal and bad and all that.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Whatever. They're like college coaches kids.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Okay, if they're college kids and they run through you know,
a college party naked, did they know the kids were
going to be there? They're the coaches of that team.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Are you sure they weren't just running the bases naked
and the kids saw them, and that's how it became
the story that no, because would you would you for
streaming numbers? Will you and me sneak onto Titans stadium
naked and run the field? That's different, I know, but
(40:51):
we didn't know kids were gonna watch us.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
No, no, this is the coach. This is a twelve and
under youth baseball team.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
If it comes out to day, that is the He's
in there trying to motivate the kids. Fired punishable upon death,
not death, but jail time for sure, not jail time.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Community service. But if the kids just stumbled upon them
doing that, it was by chance, happens stance.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I feel like the team was there for practice and
they wanted to motivate him. At the end of practice
they ran around naked, and it's absolutely unbelievable. We're gonna
take a break and we're gonna come back and we're
gonna get your vote for who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Right after this, I mean, more of this crap or no,
no, no stuff.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I want to know who your vote is for, because
the listeners are gonna go vote.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It was three people.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
It was the two coaches, Justin and me.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
The vote is in.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Okay, do you want to go third?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Now? No, I already told you accidentally.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Justin was an idiot for the dates, but he was
thinking of his friends. It hails in comparison to the
naked coaches. Justin three naked coaches too. You trying to
palm ball of plastic glass jar that's extra large and
a family campout on Lake LBJ number one classic jar
(42:19):
drop glass and foot that has caused you a month
of struggles.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
You've had to cancel a lot of appointments.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
It's been miserable. Geez, dude, I mean and I told
my wife, I don't know how I missed that top line.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I mean, dude, even when I'm not even a harp
on it, but biggest idiot lunchbox. When we're putting away dishes.
If it is a glass, baser, baser, Yep, here's a glass.
I handed to her like a baby bird, she takes it,
puts it in there.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
If it is a knife, everybody back, five feet, back,
five feet grab the cat. I'm getting a knife out
of the dishwasher. Everybody back, and then we put it
in the drawer in the sheath. If you will, the
glass and the knives, man, that's a.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Call for alert. Never in my wildest dream her whine glasses.
I grabbed with two hands on the stem and put
them up in the cabinet.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, there was a lot going on. There's seven kids
that need lunch and some of it. Can I get
pack holes? Can I get pickles? They're angry, they've been
swimming in the lake. I'm trying to hurry and get
them some pickles on their plate.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
And I, oh, are you blaming the kids now?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
And I fumbled it? No, no, no, I fumbled it.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Man. It was more in your wife's hand or your hand.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I was in my hand.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Her hand wasn't still on it now her back was turned. Oh,
she like did it behind her back? So she went
behind the back of the glass.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Can you palmed it? Are you are?
Speaker 1 (43:51):
You guys can no?
Speaker 2 (43:55):
She goes behind the back, Luca.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
And you went, paulm sgy what you guys thinking as parents?
Speaker 2 (44:03):
She did this? She grabbed fridge, here's fridge and she
just turned like.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Oh no, there's story's coming out that she went behind
the back, handing it to.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
You and you tried to palm it with one end.
What are parents doing? Guys?
Speaker 1 (44:18):
This isn't and one mixtape the Big three League. This
is parents and kids in a cab and two hands
on the plastic jar.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, all right, everybody have a great weekend.
Uh please go vote Who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 4 (44:33):
Who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Thought it was a fun game. Thought it was a
pretty interesting game. To find out Ray's coach was naked.
That's probably the biggest shock of the whole day. So
wish me luck as I have surgery today. I'm going
under the knife. I have not eating or drinking today
because I learned my lesson the hard way. And my
kids are like Dad, but you're gonna be hungry. Oh,
I'm gonna be hungry. But guess what if that glass
(44:56):
is out of my foot, that's great, and I'm gonna
ask the doc can we keep the glass?
Speaker 3 (45:02):
The airplane bottles that I took on the flight. I
wrapped in three T shirts, jeans, my swim trunks and
put socks in underwear and grundies around it.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
You want to know why why?
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Because they're glass? Yeah, I just wasn't very careful. Man,
This wasn't very careful. I mean, it really pays to
read the instructions. But I swear I don't know. They
got to do a better job on those print outs.
They got to make it like bold and huge so
you see it. I don't know how I missing. I
missed the first line. It's so stupid.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Here you throw this away. It's paper, it's not glass.
Yep.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh man, happy frid Day. I mean, wow, did you
see those baseball games last night? That's not what we're
gonna talk about.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Do people still get excited about Fridays? I'm asking, like
parents and stuff. Is it still that feeling we used
to have?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, because I don't have to wake up and come
to work. Because here's the thing. During summertime, every day
is Friday when you have kids, because they have nowhere
to go and they're always at home, so every day
is a Friday. They don't get the concept of Friday.
You don't have to do any work because they're on
summer break. So every day is they don't have to
do any work.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Is it called Friya Still yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I still call it Friday.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Baser hit me up this morning and she said Friday.
We used to do it every day every Friday. When
we first started dating. We'd say Happy Friday. And now
she hits me and.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
We haven't done those Friday thing and maybe I'd say
a year, and then randomly.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Today she goes, happy Friday's back.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Wait wait, wait, no, she said Friday. She didn't say Frye.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
We don't say frye anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
We got old why why can you not? You should
respond and be like happy fry ye yeah, say I
think you meant fry ya, and then send her a
picture of Rebecca Black. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
When we fort in back in twenty fourteens first started dating,
it was happy fr yea. And then she'd say broad
Way Patio and I'd go.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yay and I would say nay, yeah, we don't.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
We don't talk like old people. Now.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, it's sort of like my wife and I when
we were dating for some reason, at some restaurant I
think it was California Pizza Kitchen we went to. She
went to the bathroom, so I hid a thing of
silverware in her purse genius, and she found it, like
you know whatever, a day later or whatever. And so
now and then when we were dating, when she I
was at her house or she would hide the silverware
(01:59):
at my house, and then when I would find it,
I would hide it in her house. And now we
hide it around our house still. We still have the
silverware from Fornia Pizza Kitchen in the napkin, wrapped up
and I just found it. It was there was a
swimsuit that I got for free, I don't know where,
and it's just been sitting in my closet and when
(02:20):
I was packing to go on vacation, I was looking
for my swimsuit that I wear and I picked up
that swimsuit found the silverware.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Originally that was funny in the purse. I don't know
if it carries over for twenty years to your new
location in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah. I don't know if it does either. But it's
sort of like my brother.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Like, did you laugh when you go to get your
swimsuit and there's silverware from California Pizza Kitzend in your bathtub?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Can? I? And it went in my bathtub, it was
on my it was on my account of the shelf
in the closet, like it was in the clean clothes.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I think it loses it.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I laughed, Oh, like I started. I started picking up.
I was like, why is this so heavy? And then
I picked it up and here comes the silverware falling out.
I was like, oh that, Well, you know what we do.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Our cat will attack stuff, so we know the stuff
it'll tip over and break. We know the stuff that won't.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
My cologne always tips over, breaks and ooh, so I
hide Colonne throughout the house. Chapstick sunglasses. We hide it well,
then we forget where we.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Hide the crap.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's the problem.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
My two hundred dollars spice bomb, Colonne, I cannot find.
I hid it one night after a couple of drinks
from the cat. Haven't found it in six months. Oh see,
you're playing with yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
So when you find the days, you're gonna be like,
oh my gosh, and you're gonna laugh and you're gonna
have that memory. And so the silverware, I thought it
was kind of dead. I don't know how long ago
she hid it in these swim trunks because I've had
these swim trunks for a year and I've never worn them,
and they just been sitting on my shelf. So it
was a great hiding place because I never would have thought,
(03:51):
but I was looking for the one I actually wear
and I picked that up, thinking, oh, maybe it's underneath it,
and I found the silverware.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Are the kids involved? Hers? It just you and your
wife with California piece kitchen silverware.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Just me and the wife. The kids have no idea,
They don't know where that the silverware exists.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Dude, I hate to be Debbie Downner. It's just not
still funny. It's not the first time you did it
in the purse. Guys, if you're out there in your
twenties and you're dating right now, dudes, chicks, whatever, they
probably got the man bag. Hide some silverware from a
restaurant in the man bag.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
That is funny. No, no, but it dies then that night.
It's never funny again.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I hate to tell you. It doesn't have to be
just men in your twenties. It can be if you're
married and you go out to dinner and your wife
goes to the bathroom, you hide silverware in her purse
or a plate in her purse. When they find it
when they get home, they are going to be like
what And you are going to have the greatest laugh ever.
Because I'm gonna tell you this. We were at the
lake House and Batter's Box was there.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
What if everybody that's Batter's Box here with us?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
And his wife was there, and we talked about the
first time we went out to dinner together, and it
was at Magiano's that was awkwarl and it was very
awkward because we were sitting there, my wife and my
now wife, we were dating. We show up and we
were a couple of minutes late, and they're like, oh,
we already put our name in. Let's go to the
bar and get a drink. And Batter's Boxes like they
(05:14):
said it'd be about thirty minutes. So we're sitting there
at the bar having a drink. At thirty one minutes,
my brother's girlfriend now wife, flew off the handle. She
goes up to the hostess stands and says, hey, is
my table ready? And they're like, no, ma'am. She's like,
you said thirty minutes. It has now been thirty one minutes.
(05:35):
Why is a table not available?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Geesh?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And they were like, well, we can't. We kind of guestimate.
We don't know exactly how long someone's going to take
to eat. Some people take a little bit longer. Some
people like to sit down and order right away, and
so sorry about that. And some we have some reservations.
Oh really, you'd rather save a table for people with
reservations than someone is right here in front of you
(06:00):
ready to spend their money.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Sesh. I mean, she just blew a gasket. She sounds
like a fire cracker.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And my brother looks at me, Batter's Box looks at
me and goes.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Ray that wick has been dimmed over the years.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
No, no, it hasn't, oh, he said. They said thirty
to forty five. But I just told her at thirty.
I didn't know she was going to go lose it
at thirty. So great. So then they about five minutes later,
they call her name. We get a table, but I
sit at the bar and wait, and they go sit
down and we're sitting there eating, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And then at the end of the meal, batter's box
has to go to the bathroom. His girlfriend has to
go to the bathroom. So what am I gonna do.
She's got a bigger purse, like a kind of like a.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Bag, almost Belciaga.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I don't think it was a name brand, but it
was just a bag.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It might have been burking.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
So in her purse slash bag, I put a breadplate, fork, knife, spoon,
and a super bowl.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I bet that one overwhel And she.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Didn't know until she got home. And so when we
were at the lake and we were reliving this story,
she brought it out. She goes, No, the funniest thing
that happened that night is we get home and there's
a freaking breadplate, a soup bowl, and a silverware packet
in my freaking bag. So to say that it only
(07:30):
lasts that joke is only funny one time. And they
held onto it for six years because it had a
story behind it, and they would put it out when
people would come over. They would give them that bowl,
or they'd give them that silverware and be like, you
know how we got that silverware, and they would tell
the story. So hiding the silverware in the plates and
stuff and someone's bag is always funny.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Stealing isn't good. The one time is funny. Lisa vander
Pump says she has to go.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
When she was doing her reality show vander Pump Rules monthly,
they would go to the big box store and have
to get new napkins, new candle holders because so much
theft happens at restaurants.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
So that's just a side note. The other side note
is it has to progress now that we're adults. What
if say you're going for the swim trunks and out
pops it book. Okay, that's funny. Like if I was
about to go to South Beach and I'm going looking
reaching in for the blue swim trunks I love to wear.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh, Austin Bezer, it's a dildo.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's kind of funny. If you're going through TSA.
We've done that before. Where we're going to Wichita, that's
even funnier. And I put the uh the dough in
uh Carlos's bag, hoping that they would pull it aside
and search it. But they didn't do it, but it
was in there, and when he got to Witchital he
found it in there and just threw it away. But
(08:53):
I was hoping at security they were gonna be like, whoa,
what is this and they're gonna pull it.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I mean, that's the kind of humor that's fun at
security though, when they're doing the ten bags and they
got them all on the line. Yeah, the odds of
there being some sort of toy or device has one
of those because I'm just sitting there. Beser's one bag
always gets pulled and so we're just sitting there. I'm
waiting for the time the guy's gonna pull up a vibrators.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
To be it has to happen all the time. But
we really got to start the show because we have
such a great show playing for you. This was not playing.
I got a game for you fun is it the Feud? No? No,
it's for you and all the listeners, and I want
to know who they're what the vote is gonna say?
What is it?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Movie trivia? Ah?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, it's not gonna be it.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, no, no, name that tune.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Nope, nope, no, mmm, name the president, name that clap.
I'm gonna do different claps and you're gonna tell me
what celebrity claps like that?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
All right, all right, We're gonna do it live. Arnold
is on a four day week. Wow. He is headed
to South Beach.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Yeah, he was really inspired by your stories. You want
to go check it out for himself.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
We're gonna do it live.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
We are the one, two three, so loser. What up, everybody?
I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports, so
I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions because
I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It'says and I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male.
I live on the north side of Nashville with Baser,
my wife. We do have two point two kids at Vanderbilt.
We have two point two acres in the country. Those
two point two kids are actually eggs. They're female eggs,
so they're not officially kids yet.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
A lot has to go on before they are indeed
children over to you.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So the game I have to play is we're gonna
play a game called Who's the Biggest Idiot?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What about the collapse?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
That was a joke to get people excited, like like,
do you know anybody's clap? Could you name one person's clap?
Like there's got to be a distinct coach clap. Other
than that, there's.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
This one.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Name that one I don't know. It was just a
one you could use exactly. So that's why we're gonna
play Who's the Biggest Idiot? Okay, Contestant number one is Justin.
So Justin decides that he is going to try to
organize a golf outing for Eric Dodd's fortieth birthday. Right,
(11:38):
so he texts over the vacation to Ray, myself and Dodd,
and he said, hey, boys, golf for fortieth birthdays. Dodd, Bowers,
Slater and Box scramble which date works best? Saturday the
July the twelfth or Saturday July the nineteenth. Oh I guess?
He said Saturday the nineteenth, and Ray responds of what
(12:02):
blanking month? And Justin responded, this month, dummy? Ray says,
what course and Justin responds, gray Stone, Legacy or Hermitage.
Those are the three options you get to choose from
a little pricey. But we're not going to the local
COMMUNI to celebrate a fortieth birthday. And that he waits
(12:25):
a total of thirty seconds. And it's seven fifty three
am when he's texting.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
This, and he's also firing it off while I'm on
my vacation that I haven't had for seven months.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Also why I'm on my vacation. But he's up at
the butt crack of dawn texting and when no one
replies within thirty seconds, he replies, July nineteenth, it is.
It's been settled, make it happen. So he has decided
that he is going to set the date like he
has set the date. And I said, just tell me
(12:58):
what time to be there, and then Eric Dodd, I'm
out of town both the twelfth and nineteenth. I said,
great job justin settling a date the birthday. Boy didn't
even isn't even available on He said, less than one
percent chance all four of us could make it. I'm
not trying to book a tea time for February twenty sixth.
(13:21):
I replied that would be a little cold, so I agree,
I'm not doing February twenty six. His response, All right, lunch,
you suggest a time, and that is contestant number one
for who's the biggest idiot.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
The idiot part of that one is you obviously would
clear the dates with the two birthday boys. It's in
the same vicinity of my birthday, vicinity of Dodd's birthday.
He didn't clear what anybody picks.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
A date, and it doesn't work for anybody, And it's
all under the guise of celebrating your birthday or you
just want to line up a scramble.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I mean, it's literally, I guess it's his birthday and
Dodds right.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
My birthday fortieth, Yeah, since my fortieth birthday. It's Dodd's
fortieth birthday. It's Dodd's wife's fortieth birthday. It's Matt Overton's fortieth.
Where did you just turn forty? I haven't, but in
two months, so I believe that's the same time month
as this July.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh okay, I see what you're saying. I got it.
Is he turning forty two, Justin and Justin's turning forty
Holy crap, I can there's a list of people that
are all turning forty this same year. That's why it's
even longer than the ones I named. But yeah, it
was for me and Dodd. And he didn't clear the
dates whatsoever. I laughed out loud when he's like, okay,
(14:37):
it's been settled.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
My twin brother.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
And he settles it on the nineties, Like does it
even get a chance for anybody to respond? And he
settles the date and without asking the birthday boys, and
the first birthday boy says, sorry, can't make it. I'm
out of town that date. Like, what an absolute idiot.
When I saw the text messages. Sorry I wasn't sitting
(15:02):
next to my phone when I'm at the lake just relaxing,
I laughed out loud, like, justin calm down. I know
you're sitting at the radio physiology unit at Vanderbilt and
you have nothing to do but demanding that we be
there on the twelfth or nineteenth. When that is not
okay with Eric Dodd. What an idiot. See, I tried,
there you go.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I tried to play on your birthdays, all right, man, thank.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
You man, I mean I tried. I knew that no
one else would do it, so I tried to step up.
No one was responding. Yeah, you gave us thirty freaking
seconds to respond. That's idiot number one one. When we
were gonna come back, We're gonna take a break, and
I have idiot number two. And as we continue to play,
who's the biggest idiot? No, biggest, because there's gonna be
(15:48):
three options. If it's bigger, there's only two options, right,
so it's biggest. Ready to try it again?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Yeah, who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's a fun game, isn't it. Yeah? I mean, have
you heard from Justin on the side because that text
thread died? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Oh we've Yeah, thats all these text threads die. I
delete them out and I never look at them again.
You know how many text threads I get? My dad
sends out ten to day.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Delete read it, delete, read it, delete read it, delete
justin dates read it delete. I'm onto new threads.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Oh, you're over there on threads. Yeah, that was a
great invention my Facebook. I mean they did threads. That's
really happened.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Two years ago. Dominican Republic baser, Hey, wake up, wake up,
there's a new app created. It's called Threads. You gotta
get on it's gonna be huge. Two years later it
has passed.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I don't even like when you watch the news, they
never say, hey, did you see this from threads?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It's dead. Twitter's dying.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Oh how how can Twitter die when he paid a
billion dollars for it?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Well, it's just completely different now.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I used to read it for good personalities, and it
would actually be to follow in, check in on people too.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Now it's just straight videos. I mean sometimes I get
a little little smut on there. Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, we'll take a break, we'll right back. Welcome back.
Are you ready for a round two of.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Who's the Biggest Idiot?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Contested? Number two? Me lunchbox because Gray. Let me tell you, buddy,
I told you all about the glass. I dropped the
pickle jar glass shot in my foot. It's been giving me.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I thought I got it all out, I got stitches,
everything's been grand. Well, Wednesday, I made an appointment. I
go to the podiatrist and I say, hey, listen, man,
I don't know what's going on, but there's got to
be something still in my foot because it hurts. I
can't walk.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Podiatrists strictly only feet foot.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Doctor, so he goes, let me get an X ray,
goes in there and takes an X ray, comes back
in says, yeah, man, I got bad news. You still
got glass in there. Said we're gonna have to do surgery.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
So do you think the one in Texas? Was that
just a quickie clinic? And then yeah, they weren't able
to use the good equipment.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Maybe I think it was a small town a quickie clinic.
He got a piece of glass and he just assumed
that was the last piece of glass.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
And so you were good with this random guy in
a random city in Texas telling you your foot is
good and he just scoured your entire foot and didn't
see any glass when he wasn't even present there to
see what glass originally went in your foot.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Well, I think that's any doctor. I don't know that
any doctor that because usually when you go to the doctor,
they're not there when the injury happens. So I just
assumed this guy did everything he could by looking in
my foot, digging around. I figured he found it all.
I don't know how doctors operate. He had a big
like light that he pulled down like when you do
it the dentist. When they pulled down the light above you.
(18:48):
He did that for my foot, so I assumed that
I was good to go.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
We got AI creating three D girlfriends that guys are banging,
and you're telling me they can't create some AI thing
to find the glass in your foot.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, maybe the small town doctors should have given an
X ray. Have you checked with AI doc? And he
didn't do an X ray, and the x ray may
have been able to show him that there was more
glass in my foot.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
He decided not to do that. I don't know why,
but I understand. You don't understand the process. But when
I go to the tire place, you know, they do some
color thing where they find any hole in your tire
within five seconds. Yeah, it's some colored diet. And they
couldn't do that with a human body foot.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah. Ray, they told me to drink my own piss.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
No, they didn't do it. They didn't do it. And
I'd been limping around and I before my Pedieti's appointment,
I saw two medical professionals in my neighborhood and I
asked them and the nurse said, ooh, that looks like
there's glass still in it. And then the doctor he said, oh, yeah,
I'd say there's probably something still in there, and he goes,
(19:49):
I don't really understand why the guy put his stitches
in it. He goes, he should have left it open.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
And we had mistakes. On top of glass still being
in there.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
He goes, that way, if you have an infection or
more glass, it could kind of maybe push its way out.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Doc, I'd like a second opinion.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
And I'm like, well, he puts stitch in there, you know,
And so up he goes, yeah, I wouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But two doctors in your neighborhood, no doctor and nurse
Ray they're the moat away on the other side, and
they're not married to each other.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
They live across the street from each other. One's a doctor,
one's a nurse.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
That explanation explains it all, thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
And so I go to the potiatrist and he tells
me it's still in there. He goes, we're going to cut
you open.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Did you tell him about the game you had?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
I told him, man, I got a double header to night,
and he goes, well, we're not going to do it today.
He goes, we're gonna have to put you under anesthesia.
We're going to put you under, and I'm like, what all?
Because I have a piece of glass in my foot.
He goes, I'm not sure how deep it is in there.
I'm gonna have to cut your foot back open and
I'm gonna have to dig in there.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
We could never be a hospital podcast. Dude, I'm like
cringing trying to hear this story. So the whole thing
of it, the glass being in the foot was tough
to hear. Yeah, and then the hooks and ears that
was tough.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
So Wednesday night, I'm like, I'm gonna go to my
soccer game.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
You're gonna play with the glass messy.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
And I put my shoes on and I tried to
run in the backyard and I said, text team, I'm out, guys.
I can't do it. I tried to do it. It hurts.
I thought the adrenaline would take over, but I still
am limping. I'm gonna have surgery tomorrow on Thursday, and
I'm gonna get the glass out of my foot. And
so on Thursday, I wake up, I eat leftover eggs.
(21:33):
I'm leftover refried black beans and a tortilla melt, some cheese.
Kind of made myself some breakfast Tacos. I come to
work and surgery is scheduled. Bones gave me the no
surgery schedule for one pm on Thursday, and I show
up to the hospital and I get checked in, They
(21:54):
give me my wristband. The kids are there, the wife
is there because they don't know how it's gonna go,
you know, and anesthesia is like you go under, you
don't know if you're coming back out right.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
And you're over the blaming. You're not blaming your wife
at this point, are you.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
No. I don't blame my wife because.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
There's all these emotions regret, hatred, regret, remorse at all
of the rs, and I just don't want you to
blame her.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
No, I don't blame her at all. And it's really
my fault. She handed me the No.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
She was careless in handing you a glass object. I
mean it's not like she was handing you something rubber,
you know, like a.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
A glass object should be handed with two hands. I'm
handing you glass.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
No she did.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh and you still dropped it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
And I literally what you try to do?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Kobe it? You like dunked the blastic glass. Dude.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I don't know why I still hold it with one hand.
I did, dude, what are you Jordan? I I palmed
the toad.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Hey, excuse my fresh, but grab that fucker with two hands.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
I palmed all these kids.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Nowadays, you guys are doing you know you got your
behind the back. You know you're dancing a little bit
before you shoot it.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Back in the day, two hands the ball, three point
stance with the velastic turn around, set it on the counter.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
So they taught us the three point saying two.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Hands on the ball, two hands on the plastic, like
two hands the alligator chomp on a ground ball because
if it bounces up, you can keep it in your glove.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
You tried to catch the ball with one hand in
the outfield. I tried to show boat a little bit
at lunchtime at the lake. You know, I just grabbed
it by the top, and I guess I didn't grab
it all the way and it went sliding down, and
that's when I moved my foot. The glass penetrated my
body and has been giving me a nightmares for two
weeks now.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
So I have my eggs. I come to work, I
have some trail mix, drinking some water. No big deal.
We get off work my wife is waiting down in
the garage to take me to the hospital. I limp
down there, get in the car. Kids are in a
great mood because they've been sitting down there for twenty
minutes and not moving. No police escort, no police escort,
(24:15):
which I was a little disappointed by. And we roll
up to the hospital and take the elevator up and
we walk in. They check in, give him my wristband.
We brought uno for the kids. Because they're gonna they
have to be there the whole time. An adult that
is gonna drive you to and from has to be
present the entire time. So my wife has to have
(24:36):
three kids in the lobby the entire time. I'm in
there getting cut up on, and so they check me in.
We sit down, I'm.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Talking and gibbles Jason.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
They open the door and they go, Gibbles, Gibbles.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Please don't say it out loud. I'm a local celebrity.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And I give baby Box to a hug. I give
baby three hugs.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Are you sitting with the commoners?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, I give my wife a hug, and I give
baby Box a hug. And I'm like, all right, guys,
I'll see you on the other side.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They're gonna remember all this now, Just so you know,
they're not gonna remember even the fish. They're gonna remember
Dad dropping the velastic.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh that's all they're gonna talk about. They're gonna talk
about how Dad had to go in and have surgery.
And I go in and they put me on the scale,
they take my temperature, they get me in the bed.
They had me take off my shoes and they give
me these like hospital socks. I put all my belongings
in this white plastic bag. They scenth it up and
(25:40):
they're asking me a couple of questions and they're like,
all right, and the wind's the last time you ate?
And I'm like, oh, you know, I ate this morning.
I had some eggs and she her him eggs and
refried beans, tortillas and cheese and they're like what And
I'm like, yeah, I had eggs. And they're like, oh,
hold on, I'll right back.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's why you told us earlier the exact breakfast. I
was wondering there was a point to that.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
And they get on the phone and he comes back
over and goes, man, I got some bad news fast,
because we're not gonna be able to do it today fast.
He goes, line one of the instructions we sent home
with you when you left the Padiasra's office. He says,
do not eat or drink anything after midnight the day
of your surgery.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And you didn't stop eating.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
And I said, oh, I didn't eat that. They said,
let me call the doc where we're trying to figure
out if we can still do this, how we can
handle this. Just bear with us.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Did you tell them if they wait thirty minutes, you
can excrete it? And so I sat there and he goes,
give me a cup of coffee, and twenty minutes a doc,
I should be good.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
And he comes back and he goes, yeah, man, after
talking to the doc, it's just we're not gonna be
able to do it. It's not a safe move to
that you've eaten all right, Mick Dreamy said, So basically
I should have lied to you and told you I
didn't eat. And he goes, oh, no, no, no, no. This
is a matter of life and death.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
So if you had a breakfast taco and then when
got surgery, you could.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Die if you're under anesthesia. Noted, I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Sorry, honey, can't eat at one and a million this
morning breakfast tacos. If by chance I have to have
an anesthesia, all die.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I don't know, right, that's a great question. That's a
great question.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
I mean, what if it's an emergency anesthesia.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
That's a great point.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
So we honestly should never have a big meal in
case we have an antistia.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
In case, in case we're gonna like we get in
a car, right.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I can't do the appetizers, guy, You never know what
you need an anesthesia nowadays.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, the only time you can eat is when you're
going to sleep, because you know no accidents are gonna happen.
So you're not gonna eat an anesthesia.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
So it's like, oh, I ate a butterfinger last night
after midnight.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I can't get an anesthesia today.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
So he's on the dock trying to find a time
schedule when next time I can go in and get
the glass out.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Let me get you with my guy tour is what
his name is, family doctor.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And so he goes, man, we're pretty booked up tomorrow. Man.
He goes, can you come early in the morning. I said, no,
I have a job that works in the morning. He goes,
all right, let me get back on the phone with
the doc.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
The HVAC sales I do air conditioning, and he calls.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
The doctor and he goes, this is what we can do.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Oh that phone, you didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
He goes, you can come in Friday, be here at
one o'clock. I can't tell you what time your surgery
is gonna be, but if you're here at one, we'll
squeeze you in at some point before five.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
What is this a service tech coming to your house
for a cable?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
And so after being back there in the bed for
twelve minutes, I come walking through the doors and I'm like,
I'm done, and my wife's that was it?
Speaker 1 (28:53):
That was it?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
And all three kids come running up to me, Oh, Dad,
do you feel better? Do you feel better? And I
look at him and I said, guys, we couldn't do
it today. And my wife's like.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
What see another bad Joe. She's like, that's not funny.
I have to do the same thing tomorrow exactly. No,
not only that, not only that hilarious joke, but we
had a vet appointment yesterday. Had to cancel it. I mean,
double it up. Whatever they're doing to the dog telling
to put that in your foot we.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Had to cancel the vet appointment.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
What you need iver mechtin You need that horse tranquilizer
right up your ass.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
We were supposed to have someone come take pictures of
our kitchen, had to cancel that all because I'm having
surgery and she had an appointment today with the kitchen people.
She had to cancel that now because she has to
be there again today.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
And they're like, why is there no glass in the kitchen?
And sorry, my husband had an ask we.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Don't allow glass in our house, oh, because the three kids, No,
because of my dumb ass husband.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
He tried to one hand of velassic jar.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
So I said, yeah, one of the jump pulle ones,
like the biggest lastic jar you've ever seen. Because the
whole family's there and you tried to one hand it. Dude,
I would have grabbed that thing with a potholders. I said, yeah,
apparently I wasn't supposed to eat, and she goes, yeah,
(30:22):
it's right there on the instructions. I said, no, it
was not on the instructions. And she pulls out the
folder because of course that's what women do. They have
the folder with them and they are very detail oriented.
The first line ray. When I say the first line
of the paper, it says do not eat or drink
anything after midnight the day of surgery.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Who's the biggest idiot? You?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Literally, I said, I didn't even see that line because
the line below that is you are to arrive at
blank time on blank day, and they have that written
in all caps.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
What are you dyslexic too?
Speaker 3 (30:59):
No?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
No, the all caps.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I'm prepping it for the big show.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
The all caps draws your eyes to it. So I
didn't even see that first line.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
It's like our biometric thing here at work. They always
the guy goes, hey, did you eat? And you never
know what if you're supposed to say yes or no?
I go, uh y, yeah, no yeah, and he goes it,
either's fine, okay, why'd you even ask me?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah? So, me not reading the instructions, me eating caused
all these things, all these things to be canceled.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
And I was still driving. You were squirreling away nuts
the entire morning. Bones gave us a two minute break
and you were stuff in your face, and you know
what that time, you were not supposed to be eating.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
So my surgery was canceled because I couldn't read the instruction.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Actually, you were eating all in morning. The breakfast tacos
worn't the only time you ate. You finished up an
entire bag of granola. Dude, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Stop eating yesterday morning. I know, and I didn't realize
what a big deal it was. I didn't know it
was life threatening, and therefore I ripped off the freaking
little bandage on my arm and we hobbled back down
to the car. There was steam coming out of my
wife's ears, and she was like, I can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh, but also, I mean, people have lost their homes.
You guys are just what are you doing updating a kitchen?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah perspective, Yeah, we're getting a kitchen refresh. But that's
contestant number two on who's the Biggest Idiot. We'll take
a break and we'll go to contestant three and four.
Right after this.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Ray, I thought there was only two contestants.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh no, that would be bigger idiot. There's one more
set of idiots, and they are they go together, and
it's nobody we know, or at least I hope we
don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Homeless guy on the street No, no, no, he lost
it job and now he has the panhandle Who's the
biggest Idiot?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
No, that's not it. This is contestant three and four on.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Who's the biggest Idiot?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
When I said this in my head last night, when
I came up with this whole game, it went a
lot smoother, and I thought it was a lot funnier.
Maybe this isn't funny, but I still think it's funny.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Right.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You ever heard of Cooperstown?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
No, yes, I've heard of it.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Yeah. Well, I guess they have baseball tournaments there all summer,
like All Star Games. I don't really understand. But you
qualify and you make it to Cooperstown.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
It's a big deal in Washington, d C.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
It's the Hall of Fame. Supposedly, kids dream about playing
in Cooperstown one time. I had never heard that they
had kids tournaments there. I always thought that the Little
League World Series was the big highlight. But I guess
Cooperstown is a big deal. Also Williamsport, Williams Sport, that's
where it's at. Well, Ray, there was a team from Illinois.
(34:05):
They qualified for Cooperstown. They make their way up there
to Cooperstown, New York. And guess what, cousin Andrew, He's
going to New York. It's in New York, in Cooperstown
in New York. Now, I know, I would assume. But
cousin Andrew was headed there to see each Row get
inducted into the Hall of Fame. Okay, deserved him and
(34:27):
his buddy booked the trip. They said, we're going. They
didn't even know who was going to be in the
get nominated this year? Who was they were going.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
It's gonna say big Eachierro guy.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Unless you're a Mariners fan, there's Eachiero was the first
one to come from across the pond.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Though.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Billy Wagner going into the Hall of Fame this.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Year actually show he's my favorite player. Makes sense.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
The late great Dave Parker going into the Hall of
Fame this.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Year not deserved. My dad played with him.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Really Yeah, I just found out too. My dad got
a hit off fish Hunter and Eckersley.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
No crap. Yeah, in spring training that's pretty cool, Like, Dad,
why have you never told me that I'm thirty nine
years old and you just now tell me that. Yeah,
I thought that was pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Huh yeah you think uh you buried the lead there, dad.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
So there's a slapping them around in spring training Eckersley.
It throws him a high curveball. He takes it up
the middle.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
There was a team from Lake Bluff, Illinois. They're at
Cooperstown and the coaches are thinking, how can we inspire
these kids? How can we motivate these kids? How can
we get them excited? How can we get them going?
So they took the kids to the field and they said, kids,
(35:49):
this is how it's gonna go. And the coaches stripped
down naked and ran the bases.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Funny what what but not necessary? What not allowed?
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Funny?
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Well, we had football, we had football. I think the
kids were probably too young, we were middle schoolers. We
had football coaches that getting naked at camp and think
it was funny? Who did coach? You'd be in a
it'd be two a days and you go to a.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Camp and your coach got naked.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Yeah, just be funny. Not like he just ran through
the house naked. You probably just saw his ass.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
But we were older. What that's a normal story?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
What? What? What normal? What is normal about two coaches
getting naked and running the bases in Cooperstown.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That's in public, That's what I'm saying. That's that's not good.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
But I see the thing with trying to motivate kids
with humor and nudity.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Oh, well, you can't do it in public. That's where
he went wrong. No, not the biggest idiot.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
No, No, where he went wrong was getting naked on the
little league field with these little league children. And and
here's my question, not not one coach, but two coaches
decided this was a good idea. So who goes to who?
And when you're going over your pre game or pre
practice meeting, Hey, Ray, I really think I got an idea.
(37:20):
How we're going to motivate everybody, all the kids this weekend.
You know, team stinky Pants. If we get naked and
run around the field, they're you know what, Jim, that's
a great idea. Who's gonna get naked first?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Me?
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Or like, well, with our games if it was a
weekend tournament, baseball coaches are packing coolers.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
They're probably deep a couple, so you.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Know, you'd in the game and immediately they're stocking the
cooler with ice beer.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Oh those aren't for you, guys. Yeah, gatorades are warm.
They're in the back of the vehicle. Yo, these are
the ice beers. That's all. It was nothing but coolers
and coaches car for his beers.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
So but really, who how do you convince both both
of them to get naked? You would think one of them.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
I'm telling you alcohol was involved for sure, and it's
it's okay. It's those weekend, long weekends, you're going to
your job.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
You're already a little cuckoo from it.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
And then I'm not.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
I don't I'm trying to justify an idiot. No, it
doesn't need to be justified. But I am telling you,
Governor that it's illegal. They're gonna probably face some penalties,
they're probably gonna lose their job. But it's understandable in
a way, rough week, have some fun on the weekends.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Alcohol involved, shouldn't have done it. A little bit of
regirt y, yo.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
My question is how much alcohol have you had? Like,
when is the last time you had so much alcohol
you went to a little league field and ran around
the bases naked with kids in the dugout? Yeah? When
how much alcohol causes you to run around naked in
front of your niece and nephew.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
They are big idiots, They're not the biggest idiots.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Somebody else takes the cake on that one.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I mean, I can't believe people are that stupid kid.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I would have never done that with you boys.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I was always fully clothed and had my little whitey
tidy grundies.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
On, and I was ready to play some baseball. Boys.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Cup check, boyes, cup check.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Now, let's play ball. Put your steps on, let's go,
let's goe cup check. Always keep your clothes on, boys
and cut for the stars.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Kid, he never did that. He never got naked at
Cooper's down and ran around the bases. And I am
shocked with your reaction. I thought your reaction was gonna
be like, what the hell is wrong with people? And
you said, quote, oh, my coach used to do that.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Well, and I also coach, dude, I had a friend
in college who ran through a Blockbuster naked, So.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
That's your friend.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I know this is a coach. You never said ages.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Little league is. I don't care how old they are.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
No, what I'm saying the coaches, man, what if they're
it's still illegal and bad and all that.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Whatever. They're like college coaches kids.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Okay, if they're college kids and they run through you know,
a college party naked, did they know the kids were
going to be there? They're the coaches of that team.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Are you sure they weren't just running the bases naked
and the kids saw them, and that's how it became
the story that no, because would you would you for
streaming numbers? Will you and me sneak onto Titans stadium
naked and run the field? That's different, I know, but
(40:51):
we didn't know kids were gonna watch us.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
No, no, this is the coach. This is a twelve and
under youth baseball team.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
If it comes out to day, that is the He's
in there trying to motivate the kids. Fired punishable upon death,
not death, but jail time for sure, not jail time.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Community service. But if the kids just stumbled upon them
doing that, it was by chance, happens stance.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I feel like the team was there for practice and
they wanted to motivate him. At the end of practice
they ran around naked, and it's absolutely unbelievable. We're gonna
take a break and we're gonna come back and we're
gonna get your vote for who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Right after this, I mean, more of this crap or no,
no, no stuff.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I want to know who your vote is for, because
the listeners are gonna go vote.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It was three people.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
It was the two coaches, Justin and me.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
The vote is in.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Okay, do you want to go third?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Now? No, I already told you accidentally.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Justin was an idiot for the dates, but he was
thinking of his friends. It hails in comparison to the
naked coaches. Justin three naked coaches too. You trying to
palm ball of plastic glass jar that's extra large and
a family campout on Lake LBJ number one classic jar
(42:19):
drop glass and foot that has caused you a month
of struggles.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
You've had to cancel a lot of appointments.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
It's been miserable. Geez, dude, I mean and I told
my wife, I don't know how I missed that top line.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I mean, dude, even when I'm not even a harp
on it, but biggest idiot lunchbox. When we're putting away dishes.
If it is a glass, baser, baser, Yep, here's a glass.
I handed to her like a baby bird, she takes it,
puts it in there.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
If it is a knife, everybody back, five feet, back,
five feet grab the cat. I'm getting a knife out
of the dishwasher. Everybody back, and then we put it
in the drawer in the sheath. If you will, the
glass and the knives, man, that's a.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Call for alert. Never in my wildest dream her whine glasses.
I grabbed with two hands on the stem and put
them up in the cabinet.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, there was a lot going on. There's seven kids
that need lunch and some of it. Can I get
pack holes? Can I get pickles? They're angry, they've been
swimming in the lake. I'm trying to hurry and get
them some pickles on their plate.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
And I, oh, are you blaming the kids now?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
And I fumbled it? No, no, no, I fumbled it.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Man. It was more in your wife's hand or your hand.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I was in my hand.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Her hand wasn't still on it now her back was turned. Oh,
she like did it behind her back? So she went
behind the back of the glass.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Can you palmed it? Are you are?
Speaker 1 (43:51):
You guys can no?
Speaker 2 (43:55):
She goes behind the back, Luca.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
And you went, paulm sgy what you guys thinking as parents?
Speaker 2 (44:03):
She did this? She grabbed fridge, here's fridge and she
just turned like.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Oh no, there's story's coming out that she went behind
the back, handing it to.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
You and you tried to palm it with one end.
What are parents doing? Guys?
Speaker 1 (44:18):
This isn't and one mixtape the Big three League. This
is parents and kids in a cab and two hands
on the plastic jar.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, all right, everybody have a great weekend.
Uh please go vote Who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 4 (44:33):
Who's the biggest idiot?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Thought it was a fun game. Thought it was a
pretty interesting game. To find out Ray's coach was naked.
That's probably the biggest shock of the whole day. So
wish me luck as I have surgery today. I'm going
under the knife. I have not eating or drinking today
because I learned my lesson the hard way. And my
kids are like Dad, but you're gonna be hungry. Oh,
I'm gonna be hungry. But guess what if that glass
(44:56):
is out of my foot, that's great, and I'm gonna
ask the doc can we keep the glass?
Speaker 3 (45:02):
The airplane bottles that I took on the flight. I
wrapped in three T shirts, jeans, my swim trunks and
put socks in underwear and grundies around it.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
You want to know why why?
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Because they're glass? Yeah, I just wasn't very careful. Man,
This wasn't very careful. I mean, it really pays to
read the instructions. But I swear I don't know. They
got to do a better job on those print outs.
They got to make it like bold and huge so
you see it. I don't know how I missing. I
missed the first line. It's so stupid.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Here you throw this away. It's paper, it's not glass.
Hosts And Creators
Lunchbox
Raymundo
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