The Haircut From Hell!

In this episode Lunchbox tried to get a nice peaceful haircut but it was an absolutely terrible experience. Plus Zac is back on the podcast with some very interesting questions and observations about life. Also Ray hit the golf course this weekend so he will fill us in on life at the golf course on a Sunday. What would you do if someone on the golf course was doing this when you were trying to play? 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Is everybody here? Are you rolling? Hello? Let's go? Did
you start your thing? I did? I started it right now?
Introduced our guest.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
No, no, you start the show and they introduced themselves.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Have you?

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Is this the first time you've had a guest on
the damn show?

Speaker 1 (00:16):
I'm not a host, and I also need my next endeload?
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (00:20):
What do you mean? You're not a host?

Speaker 3 (00:22):
You're lyrics.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Bones is a host, Lunch is a co host. Zach
is a co host or host host. Wow, see, guys,
I'm a producer. I don't know these No. No, but
you're on this podcast. You're a host. You host this podcast.
You help.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
I don't understand like you. I think we've never had
a guest before. He's like, you didn't introduce the guest. Well,
we haven't even started the damn pod yet.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, it hasn't even started, so you.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Haven't even hit the intro music, So how could I
introduce the guest? There it is? You hear that music?
Oh you don't have ears in man?

Speaker 1 (00:56):
You played along though, He goes, Oh, I hear it
so awesome. This is good. I love that beat. All Right,
we're gonna do our intro and then think of one.
You just gotta say your name, where you're from, something interesting.
You can maybe take something from what we say. We
have an invisible intern named Arnold, so we'll refer to him.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
You don't have to tell him all this, Okay, you
can just do it and he is listen. I think
Zach is a capable human being that he can pick
up on things like he's not a toddler. We have
to tell him six different things to do one.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
Well, I will say I'm glad that you told me
about Arnold because I would be looking around the studio
being like, where is this person and who are they?

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay, guys, Arnold got a little too drunk on Sunday Funday.
He is not here. He will be back on Wednesday.
We always tend to give him the Mondays off just
because he goes a little too hard on the weekend.
But we're gonna do it live. We oh the one,
two three, So loser.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
I didn't know there was a chance. I'm sorry I
missed that one.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, what up? Everybody? I have lunchbox.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I know the most about sports, so I'll give you
the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Genius, y'all. I'm gonna go next, Zach, your third, So
get to thinking. This is called vamping, so that you're
able to think. This is something that Bones does. I
learned it from him. What up, y'all. It is Sisson
from the North, Alpha Male. I live on the north
side of Nashville Broadway. Girl met her, got married to her.
We now live in the country. We have two point
two acres of white picket fence. We're gonna have two
point five kids, and I will die of a heart

(02:21):
attack before I'm seventy two. Over to you, Zach.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
That was quite the obituary. Not expecting that catalog. Hey,
have you ever been around Ray for more than ten minutes?

Speaker 2 (02:32):
No, when he has the most stressed out human being
you will ever meet in your life.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
Also the fact that you said, Alpha Male, I'm sorry, Ray,
I love you so much. I would have never.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Thought that about you.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
By the way, Hi, I'm Zach, born and raised in Nashville.
I have a fake hip. That's about it. The most
interesting part about me.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Pretty good, really well done, really well done.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Thank you. Oh and my mom was in the Olympics.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
What do you remember what Olympics?

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, nineteen eighty eight Soccer Olympics.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Was that Nagano? Nagano was winter.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
I don't even know where that is.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
What was that Vancouver? It was probably Atlanta or Atlanta
was like ninety six? Okay, probably Los Angeles.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
I think it was Atlanta. What I think?

Speaker 1 (03:16):
So?

Speaker 3 (03:17):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Google, How could it be Atlanta when the Richard Jewel
bombing was ninety six? You know, Richard Jewel didn't even
do it. You remember that name. He's the one they
got charged. I have no idea if they ever found
out who did it, but he didn't do it, do
we need to open an investigation? I'm pretty sure he
didn't do it, but his name is synonymous with the
Atlanta bombing at the Olympics.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
Well, I lied because they were in Asia. So where Seul?
South Korea? Oh wow, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Better than going to North Korea. Never once at a
dinner table discussion you said, hey, mom, what Olympics were
you in?

Speaker 4 (03:53):
I know she was in nineteen eighty eight Olympics. I
didn't ask her. Where did she ever.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Play in the World Cup or did they?

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
I know she's a bad bitch.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
You just became the least interesting member of your entire family.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
I knew that when I came out of the womb.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Oh do you have any siblings?

Speaker 4 (04:10):
Yeah, I'm one of eight. You're one of eight, I know,
and I'm the best one.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
There is no way you guys are all full blood
eight They've got to be adopted or no.

Speaker 4 (04:22):
They're not all full blood. So there's three of us
from my mom and five for my stepdad. So there's
eight together.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Still an accomplishment. Oh my gosh, Brady.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
But I thought your mom pushed out eight children and
I was going to be like how I was texting
my wife.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
We got five to go.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
You do have a lot of kids.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, I only have three.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
That's a lot.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
But you realized that was common during when we were
growing up. Look at you eight. I was three, he
was three, but he was really Did eight people live
on your roof? Or were those kids older like with your.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
State lived under our roof?

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (04:53):
So they were like from his first related from his
first marriage or whatever she was.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
And how old are they? Way than you?

Speaker 3 (05:01):
I think the oldest one is like eight years older
than me.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
So they were getting it on a good honey because
they were popping them out.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
And two different families will make it more but still
five though from the other marriage.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, I little horn dog over there?

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Do you still talk to those siblings? No?

Speaker 1 (05:18):
All right, I feel like this is a therapy session. Right,
let's go down a road that there's no impromptu.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
I have a question for you.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
I was actually thinking about this earlier today, and I
figured that lunchbox would be the perfect person to ask.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Do you use condoms?

Speaker 1 (05:36):
I was my wife? No?

Speaker 3 (05:38):
When else would you use them?

Speaker 1 (05:40):
No? I do not. Why would I use them?

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Clearly you don't. You have so many kids, But why
would I use them? I'm married to prevent more children?
Oh well no, I don't. Why did you think? Who
did you think about that? You were just thinking in general?
Do people use condoms still? Or I'm very confused. I
went to a bar of the weekend and they had
like a bowl of condoms in the bathroom, and I thought,

(06:03):
I've never put one on before in my entire life.
So I took it home and I was like, I
have to go home and put a condom on because
I've never put one on.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Is this a topic on the morning show?

Speaker 2 (06:16):
No, let me get a banana. I'm gonna show you
how to do it. But you have never go get
one of your bananas for lunch. You have never put
a condom on before this weekend.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
No, the nodule goes at the very end. I am
very connoded. I'm very confused by this.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Why you never like, at any point, were like, man,
I need to see what this is.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
And I never thought about it until it was free
at the bar, and I was like, let me put
this on and see what it feels like.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Zero out of ten recommend.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
But also, don't you have to worry like you never? Like,
I guess I don't know this. So are you gay.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
Now? My boyfriend is.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Okay, So my question is, so with the guy, you'd
never used a condom?

Speaker 3 (07:06):
No, huh, what do I have to risk? I can't
get pregnant.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
No, not about pregnant. I thought more of STDs. I
thought maybe guys. I don't know, I don't know if
guys use them because of STDs, but I always thought
that maybe you did.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Because of that reason.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
I feel like more promiscuous people probably should use them.
But I'm very proud of the fact that I've only
slept with two people in my whole life.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, that makes a difference.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, like my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Got to hear any sound effects, but I just did
this slow clap for that.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Oh, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Then we go around the room and say our number.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Ray, our body count.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
That's your body count?

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Right, my wife might listen to this podcast.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
That was another thing that I thought was weird that
straight people don't talk about this in your relationship. You
have no idea how many people your wife has been with.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Now that's different.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
My wife was not as crazy and as I was,
so it's a little bit different.

Speaker 4 (08:02):
So you don't want to have the conversation because you
would be embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
No, no, not embarrassed. There's just no reason to have it.
But why not? There's how many belts on your belt
do you have?

Speaker 4 (08:11):
I want to know your entire past and how good
were they. I need to know the conversation.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
That's different than your relationship in mind do My wife
doesn't let me talk about any ex girlfriends. Really, I've
never said a crazy memory, good or bad. When it
comes to that, she shuts it down right away, and
so we haven't talked in years about exses.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
Okay, can you just say one excess name Deanna. You
just made that up?

Speaker 1 (08:33):
No, it really is Okay?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Was she crazy?

Speaker 1 (08:36):
No? But I mean there would just be stuff where
I could almost make fun of her, or I could
say a fun memory my wife.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, if it's an ex it's in the past. Leave
it there, your wife.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
You're not even wearing a wedding.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Ar I should be. Here's my thing? Like, canut anything
else out on this podcast? What's your body count? Where's
your wedding ring? I need to know everything about you?
What about my wedding ring?

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Where is it at my house?

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Why aren't you wearing I don't wear dude? Are those
things that the most annoying thing? They're the most annoying
thing in the world.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
I'm not married. Why not call my boyfriend and ask him?

Speaker 1 (09:06):
How long have you guys been together?

Speaker 3 (09:07):
It'll be eight years in June.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Do you guys plan to get married? Maybe? Does he
not think you're the one?

Speaker 4 (09:14):
No, we've talked about it. But we have everything already.
We have a house together, we have dogs together, life
insurance policies. What changes when you get married? A piece
of paper.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
It's called a ring and a ring. See that's the thing.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Like, I don't and a ring. Clearly it's not that important.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Neither of you wear that, and here's the deal, open
you to masses. It's a popular phrase. People just do
it because they have no idea what else to do,
and they follow each other. It's called shepherdy and flock
people you can't think for themselves. You really, why do
you need to get married? Is it a biblical thing?
What is the reason for it?

Speaker 3 (09:43):
I literally have no idea. That's why we're not.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
I think what about taxes? You guys do separate taxes.
We do, Okay, we do a separate text. It make
that easier. The money thing, maybe.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
Well, if we got married, I would have a lot
more money because I would have access to his account.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Then we need to start on that.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
I know.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
That's the thing. My wedding ring, they're annoying. I've never
worn like, I've never worn a watch.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
I don't wear anything, and so getting married, I put
that ring on and I just constantly would take it
off and mess with it, and it's just so annoying.
And so I just all right, whenever we're going to
a nice event, like if we're going out to dinner
me and her, I will put it on. If we're
going to a wedding, I will put it on. But
if I'm going to a work function where I'm dressed up,
I'll put it on. But normal everyday life, I don't

(10:24):
wear it.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Dude, and try almost losing the thing. I was partying
with Billy at his house and dropped it for whatever reason.
We were drinking stuff. Billy Billy amazing people on the
pod know, but he's from Austin and we were partying hard.
I accidentally dropped it. It landed next to the trash
can in his house and Baser find or Billy found
it there, Thank god, dude, Baser was offended by it.

(10:46):
My wife, how do I know that the ring fell
off my finger and it just so happened to be
adjacent to the trash can.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
She thought you were trying to throw it away?

Speaker 1 (10:53):
No, but it was just a bad look. My ring's
just thrown on a party floor. Yeah. So for that reason,
I don't wear them.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
I do.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
I wear events. I will.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
There was this dude that used to be on this
podcast because it used to be a three headed monster
who was the other one Now we don't know his name.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Arnold.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
No, Arnold was always the intern but he's kind of
balding on top and kind of got a big nose,
talks like this, and we explained him so glowingly. We
were golfing together one time, and when you're golfing, it's
hard to grip the golf club with your ring on,
so he put it in the golf cart. We get done,

(11:29):
we're getting out in our car after the eighteen holes, and.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
He goes, oh, crap, man, my ring is not here.
It's not here. He's like, I'm not to go back
and look for it. I'm like, where are you going
to look? He was like, I'm going to He was like, are.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
You going to drive the entire golf course and look
through the grass.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
To not face the wrath? Yes?

Speaker 2 (11:47):
He spent over an hour re driving the golf course
and thinking exactly where he drove the golf court all
eighteen holes.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Did he find it? No?

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Did he go back the next day and try again, yes?
Did he find it?

Speaker 1 (11:59):
No?

Speaker 2 (12:01):
And then he had to go to his wife and
tell him he lost it at the golf course. I mean,
that's just so much stress, Like I all are stressing
me out now. I never want to get married. And
thank you for convincing me that's what I need to do.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
And I got one that has diamonds on it. It's
it's it. It didn't I think they were cubic.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
I was like, okay, money drops.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
So it flashy. It's the most uncomfortable one in the bunch.
The rubber ones are way better than the flashy one.
So I only wear that thing to weddings.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yes, that's what I'm saying, Like I have a like,
I guess it's metal. I don't know is it.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
I don't know what kind of like what is it?

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Like it is titanium, maybe titanium, And so I put
it on when I go to a nice event.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
No need to wear it when I'm going for a run.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Like, how weird does that look with me? With this
titanium ring when I'm going for I just feel.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Like, if you're married, you should be proud of it.
And where you're ring.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
The best thing is we'll get in a conversation with
people and she sometimes doesn't wear her ring because it's uncomfortable,
and so we'll be at a dinner or something we're like, oh, yeah,
we're happily married, and then we both at the same
time look at our fingers. Neither one of us are
wearing a ring, like we're cheating on our partners.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
You, I would definitely call you out.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Yeah, my wife sometimes we'll go out. I'm so sorry
I forgot to wear my ring. I'm like, doesn't matter
to me, Like, I don't give a crap. You wear
your ring, Like, what difference does it make? It just
because you have the ring on, it changes nothing.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
It doesn't change anything. But how much money did you
spend on that ring?

Speaker 1 (13:21):
More than I should have?

Speaker 4 (13:22):
Right, so now it's just sitting there, like ten thousand
dollars on the dresser over there.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Things we've talked about this podcast Body Counts, how much
you spend on a ring? And are you married? Wow,
we've covered it all. And also how do you properly
put on a con No?

Speaker 2 (13:37):
We also talked about the Olympics in Seoul, South Korea
in nineteen eighty eight.

Speaker 4 (13:41):
Yeah, I have a condom in my bag. Can you
teach me how to put it on?

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Go get your breakfast?

Speaker 2 (13:46):
And I got a question. Did you go home and
just like look in the mirror and try this on?
I'm so confused, Like, what in the hell.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
You never answered my question? Do you guys talk about
are you allowed to talk about stuff like that on
your morning show or is that a little risky?

Speaker 4 (13:59):
That is way too We got little kiddos in the car.
That's not happening.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, I say, we have little kids that listen to
this podcast, so this is gonna be fantastic.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Well, I'm sorry, children, it was all my fault.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
So what bar were you? I've never seen them hand
it out at a bar and a bowl in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Never.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
It was that Frankie J's in Germantown.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
And do they have a bathroom attendant?

Speaker 3 (14:19):
No they don't, Thank god.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
I those are the most annoying things in the world.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
And I never carry cash, so then I feel awful,
like you're peeing at the urinal.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
They come up and they start like lint rolling your.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
Back, so you feel like you have to give them
like a dollar or two, and I have no cash.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Well, the advent of Venmo has to put them out
of business. They must make no money anymore.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
They got to have a code, a little what do
you call them? A UPC is like a q QR code.
That's what it's gone. Not UPC that's at the grocery store. Uh.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
They probably do.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
But what is so annoying is they act like they
are doing you such a service.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
They turn on the water.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yo, jackass, I can turn on the water.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
It ain't that freaking hard for me to just turn
that little knob and put the water on. Like they
hand you the two things to wash your hand. Is
that not a little convenient they you don't have to
go up to it and fight it. No.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
I don't like it when they they squirt the soap
in your hand.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's like, dude, I can I can just hand hold
my hand underneath the soap dispenser. It'll squirt it out.
And then they hand you the paper towel like, oh,
you saved me a whole half a second of region
over and grabbing my own paper towel. I'm not saying
about the men, if I take a Minute's different the cologne.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
I've never used their cologne in my life.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Bathroom cologne ray a.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Little pump to the neck if you're feeling a little sweaty.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
It's this is why he's alpha male over here wearing
bathroom colonne.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Hey man, what's that sent? Where'd you get it? Bathroom man?
Do the women have an attendant?

Speaker 2 (15:44):
I don't think women have an attendant.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
I think they do.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Know why why do you look so confused? Why do
you think only men need a bathroom attendant?

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Because women are a lot more put together, and they
carry a lot of that stuff with them in their purses.
Men are slobs, so they don't have anything. They have
nothing with them, so they rely on this dude in
the bathroom to provide them with the essentials, gum mint.
I don't know what else he sells the essentials.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
This is what I think the bathroom attendant should do.
Every time I walk in the bathroom, there's urine everywhere.
The bathroom attendant should have to hold these people's wieners
while they pee so that it doesn't go all over
the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
You know, it's no not the urine all over the bathroom.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Right, is so uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
What is discussed in the laugh track the laugh track.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
What's disgusting to me is when people spit their gum
in the urinal.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
I don't understand that.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Like, explain that to.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Me, Like you could spit it in the trash can
when you're walking in, but that fifteen seconds, twenty seconds
you're standing at the urinal.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
You decide, you know what, this gum's got no taste?

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Uh, do you realize that someone has to go in
with their freaking hands and pick that out of the urinal?

Speaker 1 (16:51):
It's so disgusting.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
You're not wrong.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Those bathroom attendants, they seem tried and true, like they're
always there, They're gonna go through all elements, right.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
And they just stand there in the frong.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Wrong.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
I set you up to be wrong there, dude. One
time the toilets started flooding, they got the hell out
of their dude all his stuff.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
It was it was at barstool and it was going
two inches four inches six inches.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Dude, he got all his ship and he got house.
And this is not my problem. It is so funny
he was gone.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
I mean I watched him and I'm just like, how
many out like when they're sitting there, going, oh, where
are you going to work?

Speaker 5 (17:24):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (17:25):
They work different clubs, different nights of the week. Are
they assigned that bar? And how do they get that contract?

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Well, and my question is they just they have They
just go into these bars. Hey, I'm gonna be at
your and the the manager's cool with that.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
And do they bring their own mens and candy? How
are they provided?

Speaker 1 (17:40):
No, they have to Like I.

Speaker 4 (17:42):
See him at the dollar tree getting all the free
all the candy to go to the bathroom with.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
And then do they have a cart? They bring it
up with and then they set it up and then
where do they put their cart?

Speaker 3 (17:50):
How many questions?

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Well, here's the thing. If we did have a younger
morning show where you didn't have kids, I'm in the country,
You're with a dude, a man you've been with forever.
If we didn't have these lives, we could do a
bit where one of us goes and see how much
you can make being an attendant and how easy you'll
do that, Like how funny would be to have lunchbox
being an attendant at barstool? And then we could also
learn how much did he make? What happened? Are people gross?

(18:11):
How many people spit their gum in the toilet?

Speaker 3 (18:13):
I think we should do this.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
I mean it's actually a great experiment or just to
talk to them.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
The only problem is most of the time they don't
speak English.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
In the bathroom the bathroom aintendant, No, you would be
the bathroom I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
I would like to just talk to a bathroom inintendant
to see how much they make, Like what is the
cost of all the goods they provide?

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Do they steal those tests?

Speaker 2 (18:33):
Like do they go buy that cologne or do they
just is it brute Colonne and they just stick it
in that expensive bottle?

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Dude? Some of them are real good.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
So yeah, some of them smell good.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
Look for the red bottle. It's gonna be it's a
Macy's when my wife has the female version.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
He's selling too this bathroom cologne Right now, I'm confused.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I'm telling you. If they got spice bomb there in
your head.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Now, you've been sweating at the club for four hours,
drinking since noon, why not do a little spray on
the way out for your chick or your dude?

Speaker 4 (19:00):
You and I live completely different lives. Been drinking since
noon at the club, that's a no from me.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
Dog, I'd be asleep.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
Noon is brunch and then and then asleep by four.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Fair enough, let's be real.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
He doesn't stay out all day, and he does, it's
bad news.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
What is your going out?

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Like?

Speaker 1 (19:16):
Where do you go out? You have to name the
exact spot, Like, do you go out? Try to blow
up your spot every weekend? Do you go out basically, Yeah,
that's what I'm talking you in your man or just you.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
It depends on the weekend.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Sometimes what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
Sometimes it's a girl's weekend, so I'll go hang out
with all my girlfriends. Or sometimes it's like a bunch
of our friends, so we'll go out together. Like this weekend,
we went to happy hour and then we went to
the bar afterward.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
Gees peees, I gotta be gay, dude, you have a
blast of a weekend. You have, no dude, you can
just go out with the girls, go out with the guys,
go out with your boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
It's amazing, he said, I gotta be gay?

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Have you ever try it?

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Like, your guy doesn't care that you're just gonna go
out and just party without him?

Speaker 3 (19:58):
No, what does he care?

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Does my wife care if I go out and party
without her? No?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
Why would she care? It's the exact same thing, bro, Like,
we've understand that culture.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
But does she care if you go party with a
bunch of girls. No, your dude doesn't care if you
party with girls. Now does he care if you go
party with five guys?

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Now, dude, my girl's gonna let me party with five chicks.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
That calls for a divorce.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
And one time she did let me party. It was
her friend's birthday and she wasn't feeling good and I
went out with her friend and her friend's friend, two
chicks dating, and yeah she let me do that. Yeah,
like I don't let me, she doesn't boss me around,
but she was like she was really scared of her.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
I mean like, there was one time this girl, Stephanie
that I knew from back in Austin. She was in
town for business. She was staying at your old place,
the Four Seasons, and she hit me up. She was like, hey,
you want to meet for a drink. My wife has
never met her. And so I was just like, hey,
my friend Stephanie's in town. Like I'm gonna go meet
her for a drink. She's like, all right, have fun.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, go for it.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
And we went to the Happy We went to the
Four Seasons, sat at the bar due that place, and
they got the spicy nuts at the bar fancy.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Oh my gosh, they were good. Dude, I will one
up you. I had a chick from Texas State come
into town. I went to Costa Rica with her. We
had never dated, but we were very friendly and nice
and we enjoyed each other's company. She came into town.
I said, hey, Baziers, she's in town. She wanted to
do lunch. Do you care? Baser goes, no, go to lunch.
I don't care. Guess what. I was tired from work.
I didn't even go to lunch with the chick. That's
that's what's up. That's on that one. Wow, you showed me.

(21:27):
I didn't even show up.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
Talk about a burn pull up?

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Got you? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Actually that place is great. It is fine.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
That is I mean? Is that a gay bar? No? Oh,
because of a boy in it.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Do you want to go to the gay bar? I
feel like you really want.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
To go to the one on church that has the
runway play play the drag chow.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yes? Have you ever been to roof Deck or whatever
it's called at Fifth and B. It turns into a
drag show.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
I host that show.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Oh my god, dude, I was there with my friends
and it turned into a drag show at noon with
the Dodds and then their parents in Georgia.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
From Georgia and a drag show pulled up at one pm.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
That was my show.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Thank you for coming, d It comes out of nowhere.
The Dodds were like, we went to that what is
it called a good play play one night because my
buddy Ryan was in town and he went. We went
to Broadway at first, and then he was like, can
we go to the gay bar?

Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's like sure, So we go.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
To play and we are so hammered, so gared where
this is going. And I mean they're doing the drag
show or whatever, and I think it ends. I don't
know if it ended or what. But then I went down.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
The runway no oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Wow, and they yanked me by the shirt and I'm like,
I was trying to find the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I was trying to find the bathroom.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
Did they make any tips while you were on the
on the roadway.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
And they're like, oh, well that's not the bathroom. I'm sorry,
I just got lost and they were they were they
were nice enough to uh not kick me out, but yes,
that was my one time at play.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well okay, well next time I'm gonna go to the
gay bar with you.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Zach You're the best, Zach You're the best. Shout out
your Instagram so everybody can find you.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
It's just at Zach wood word.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
All right, we'll see, we'll be right back. All right,
we're back live.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Then let me tell you I wanted to get my haircut.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh, Zach was in here. I'm sorry, turn off my mic. Right,
Zach was in here. I'm sorry. What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (23:33):
It confuses me on which MIC's because the other studio
it goes Mike Caddy Corner Mike, and then the Bobby
Bone show it goes, you're the fourth mic in here,
you're the second mic.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
In that studio next door, you're the third mic.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, I get it, I understand. But uh, I went
to get my haircut Friday. This is this is my
life now, because usually Friday night you're getting ready to
go out. No, I put the kids to bed at
seven thirty. I made the haircut appointment for eight pm.
Did you know that you can go get your haircut
at eight pm? No, well either to I, but I

(24:04):
logged on they said appointment avail about eight pm. I said,
let me go ahead and get that spot boom eight pm.
And the reason why did I get a haircut? Do
I need to look good for the weekend. I had
some things going on this weekend that I wanted to
have my haircut for, but also this coming weekend now,
March eighth, I got Demolition Derby. I didn't want to
go into the Demolition Derby down there in Shelbyville looking homeless.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
I got my haircut. It looks good.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
So when I'm in the race going, i'm driving that car,
I want to look good for the people.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Did you just say March eighth? March eighth, Muffy's birthday, dude?

Speaker 2 (24:38):
I am celebrating Muffy's birth birthday in Shelbyville. But I
had to get a haircut for it because I'm gonna
be racing. And they say, if you ain't rubbing, you
ain't racing. So I want people to come watch me.
And when I'm meeting people before I race in the
Demolition Derby, I'm gonna take pictures. Well, and you say hello, okay, yeah,
so you act like it's gonna aren't you in a

(24:59):
mud pit and they have access to you in this pit. Well,
before I get down in that pit, got it, I'm
gonna be saying hi to people and I'm gonna be
taking pictures and we're gonna be talking about life.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Do people come for the autographs or they just doing selfies?
Now a couple.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
People do the autographs, but most people. Most people, they
either take a picture with me or we do a selfie. Dude,
if a person came up to me for an autograph,
I don't even know if I know how to sign
my name.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yuh sure, kid, do you have a sharpie or a pen?

Speaker 2 (25:30):
And it was pretty cool because on Friday night when
my kid's going to bed, my six year old, he
pulled out his Mad Dog Demolition Derby shirt and he
put it on. That's what he wore to bed on
Friday night. Because if you ain't rubbing, you ain't racing,
That's right. And so I'm sitting there going, man, I
gotta get my haircut, and I don't even know if
the people come into the event care if I get
a haircut. And I didn't want to have a fresh haircut.

(25:53):
I want to have it like a week long growth
for the Demolition Derby. That way, you know, I look tough,
but I don't look like homeless.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Dude, if you're going and Demolition Derby, you should have
went mullet. Didn't think about that. I mean, you gotta
go full character, dude, you gotta go full south Man.
We're talking about nor lands Man.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah, and my wife last year made me like dress
like like, she made me like dress up for the event.
And I'm like, you realize this is a demolition derby.
She goes, yeah, but you're the you're the talent. You
gotta wear a button up shirt. I won't be wearing
a button up shirt this year to the demolition derby.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
That's the best when you have events, you don't have
to dress up for that. In my favorite and I.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
The Longhard the Balls, Well, word did that dude a
tank top and shoes? And I stopped and bought a
Ball's T shirt because I thought I had to represent
the balls. And then I get there and he's like,
can't have any balls logos. Oh, so he gave me
a jacket to put over it. Dude, I wasted my
money by buying a vall shirt. I spent twenty two

(26:50):
dollars at Academy for the ball shirt demolition derby. At
least mad Dog they gave Hey, they gave my kids
each a T shirt. I mean they are six sizes
too big because they didn't have toddler size, but they
wear them all the time and they love it.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
When you ain't rubbing, you ain't racing. All you need
is flannel on some shorts. That's right, but it may
be a little cold. I need to check the weather.
You're good, it's sixties here on out.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Not at night, dude, on Muff's birthday at Motorhead. At
the Motorhead event, I can't be wearing shorts if it's cold.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
It'll dip a little bit.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
It gets cold at night when you wake up in
the morning and it freezing tits.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
It is. But are you gonna come? How far is
it from Nashville.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Like forty minutes in Shelbyville. You just gotta go to
Motorhead Events dot com say five dollars come see me.
Because if you ain't rubbing, you ain't racing.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Beezer's always got a slate chalked full. Let me check
with her. Okay, but it'll hang up and listen.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
It's this Saturday night, and we can send Muff a
happy birthday video where the Mad Dog Demolition derby we
got way. And then they say I'm racing Nitro ned
That sure sounds like a professional.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
Driver, right, I'm sure he does.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
But they said he's never raced before, and I'm like,
but he has a name called Nitro Ned.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Well, Here's what I wonder, how do they let some
of these NFL guys. How do they let them play
in a soccer game or a baseball game? You how
are they letting you go in to the derby? I'm
not sure you're not experienced, you're right, but they just keep.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
I think these are all regular people. I don't think
they are professional drivers. I think they're all normal people.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
Got it.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
They're not like they volunteer themselves to be in this.
They build their cars themselves. I didn't build my car.
Mad dog is building me a car to drive?

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Hi, there is somebody built my car?

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Uh? Yeah, do you have a car for me to drive?
But that's this Saturday, March eighth.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
No, you're driving your suv.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Get out there, say five bucks, go to motorheadevents dot com.
Come see me in Shelbyville. How are you doing, lunchbox?

Speaker 1 (28:54):
You're ready to race, dude. If they give you the mic,
that's got to be your catchphrase tagline. I'll do it.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Hey, guys, you're reading you around the dog devolution.

Speaker 5 (29:11):
You guys running round over under two people Bush Lattes
pounded for sure from the nation that will show up
in Shelbyville over Okay.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Anyway, So I going to get my hair cut right
and I sit down in the chair.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Ray.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
When I got home, my wife said, man, your hair
looks good, and I said, I'm glad it looks good,
but I will never go back to that woman again.
W y, I need your haircut.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Person.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
I sit down in the chair, can't have her. And
she says, oh, how was your day? I said, oh,
it was pretty good. You know, some nice weather. You know,
I think we're finally getting into springs. She goes, yeah,
I'm so mad at myself. I didn't get out in
the weather earlier. And I was like, oh, were you
working all day? No? I just got up. I just
moved into my dream house. And I'm like, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Where'd you move from? Well?

Speaker 2 (30:04):
See what it was a long process. What happened is
so I got in a fight. I got in a
fight with the state, and I sued the state. I
took it all the way to the Supreme Court, and
the laws got changed because of what I was able
to do. They need to have change the laws. You
only had to work, right, And I was like, what
do you mean? She's like, I was like, oh, that's crazy.
Joe's no, let me tell you what happened. So they

(30:25):
they came and told me that I was going to
have to move, that I was going to have to move,
that they were going to build a road. Oh hell no,
you're not going to build a road here. And she's like,
so I took it all the way to the Supreme
Court and I do. She was like, I got the
laws changed. I got the laws changed on when they
what they had to pay you, and what they have
to do, and how they can tell you got to
leave their house. I'm like, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
She goes.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
But in the end, my mom got sick. So I
just said, here, he just give me ten thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Not be happy, and I'll leave. So she got a
law called what the haircut Lady's law.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
I don't know, but that's not where it stopped her.
It's called the scissor law. And she was like, and so, yeah,
I fought them. So they don't want the state knows
they would have to give me anything I wanted. I
could have named a price and they would have had
to give.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
It to me.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
And she named ten thousand dollars exactly what I said,
terrible negotiator. I was like, but after all that, you
go only took ten dollars. She goes, yeah, because it's
not about the money.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Who's your dad? That guy in Dallas who shot JR?

Speaker 2 (31:27):
That's the show who shot JR? That's the big episode Dallas. Anyway, No,
it gets better, right, Oh, I thought we were at
the climax. No. She was like, I looked at that
house three times, and finally the neighbor across the street
came out and goes, she doesn't have any money. She's
already looked at that house twice. It is our third time.
I want a neighbor, and she goes, So I yelled, actually,

(31:49):
I got ten thousand dollars in cash and I bought
that house. She's still cutting the hair and I'm like, oh, okay, cool, yeah,
and she was like yeah, and it's just crazy, and
she was I mean, I just used to live on
the farm and I loved it. And she goes, and
I realized I had a lot of stuff when I moved.
She goes, I counted, I got twenty six sets of dishes.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
Fascinating.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
I'm like, well interesting, She goes, Yeah, my mom tells
me I need to get rid of some of it.
But I mean, what if I need it one day?
Twenty six sets of dishes, that's a lot of stuff.
And I said, yeah's and she goes and I joined
a doomsday prepper up group, like a group, and I
was like, oh really, She goes, yeah, I only sawn
number one, but now I'm like in like twelve of them,

(32:30):
and so I don't know how I got connected to
all of them. But we are prepared if something happens
in Nashville, Like we have been prepping for this for
a long time.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
What's the outlook from my haircut?

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Where I chime in, well, you can't really doomsday prep
You're not gonna be able to take all twenty six
sets of dishes with you. She informs me, No, A
lot of them are antiques. They are worth a lot
of money. There worth so much money, so I can't
get rid of them. If I want to sell them,
I can, but they're very valuable.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
This conversation has spiraled so much out of control. You
got to put her in check.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Right, I've said like three words of the whole conversation.
Then she goes into yeah, and I mean, I have
this cat, this cat that used to live on the
farm with me. Now I'm interested, but the cat is
miserable where we live now. The cat is miserable because
there's not a lot of land to you know, go explore.
So I'm thinking I'm just gonna go drop the cat
back off at the farm. What the And I'm like,

(33:26):
what what color is it? Bazers wanted a second cat?

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Well is this where did you ask her?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
This is where I got confused because this cat first,
she had a blue cat.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Do what? I don't know if there's a such thing
as a blue cat. I gotta tell Bazer I don't
know what haircut plays this lady at. And she wants
to give the cat away.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
No, no, she don't want to give it away. She wants
to give it back, take it back to the farm.
We want it because no, no, because we want it.
The cat was much happier at the farm, and so
she's like, I think I can just drop the cat
back off at the farm and she'll be fine. I'm like,
I don't think that's how it works. She's like that
way she has a.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Room to explore and run around.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
I'm like, but aren't there like wild animals and stuff
and they're gonna eat the cat. She's like, no, I
think she'll be much happier. I'll go visit her. I'm like, oh,
she goes yeah. And then I had uh Samantha the cat.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
It was black.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
She's like and she fell in love through the window.
I'm like what she's yeah, Samantha, my old cat. There
were there were she would just sit in the window,
and there was another black cat that lived outside and
would come every day, and they would just look at
each other through the window. And so finally I opened
the front door and let Samantha go out, and they
were in love and they just communicated through the window.

(34:40):
You know where the nearest bridge is, And she said,
and that's what happened with my first cat, sam the
blue cat. Another blue cat came to the window. Are
we almost done with my hair?

Speaker 1 (34:50):
No?

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Ray, we're not even We're not even halfway done. Ray,
We're just starting. Then she talks about how her dad
told her that she should clean out her car, that
it's too messy, and she was like, no, Dad, I
have all this stuff in here.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
For a reason.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
She goes, it was really hard to get through my
car because it was so messy.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
I had so much stuff.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
And she goes, and one night, some guy tried to
break get into my car. He was waving at me,
and I rolled down my window and he tried to
open the door, but there was so much stuff the
door wouldn't open.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
That's funny part of the story. That's pretty funny. The
door wouldn't open. So I got away so much shit.
So I'm like.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
She's like, I call my dad and I tell my dad. See,
there was a reason I had all that stuff in
my car. Saved my life tonight.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
This is an amazing American.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
This it saved my life tonight. And I was like, wow,
that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
She goes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
And then one time I was going shopping and I
called my mom like, hey, I'm going to go shopping.
And it was like eight o'clock at night. She goes,
do you not know this is the time of year
when they abduct women. You should not be going shopping
at this time of year at eight o'clock at night
to shop.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
You down, Mexico girl, you get.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
And so she was like, So I thought about what
my mom said, So I slid my knife into my pocket.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Do you still have it on you right now?

Speaker 2 (36:07):
And she was like, I went shopping and she goes.
My mom was right. I was in the store and
there was a guy just following me around the store.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Are you using the knife on my sideburns?

Speaker 2 (36:16):
She said, so then he followed me. He stood in
lying behind me at the checkout, and then I walked
to the car. He followed me to the car, and
she goes, And then I had to pull the knife
out and put it to his neck, and it saved
my life. And I called my mom and I was like,
you were right. I'm glad you called me before I led,
because I knew to putt the knife in my pocket
and I pulled.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
It on his put it on his neck. What is happening?

Speaker 2 (36:38):
And then she was like, an, I have a metal
rod in my leg because one of my ex boyfriends
had an anger problem. Dude, you're too courteous. You let
her go on, Ray, I was not conversating, she was telling.
I was not asking questions. It was all her. I
did not say more than ten words, and right, I
haven't even told you everything she told me.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
It is pretty interesting, though, And I think the trucker's
kind of like you because she had all that stuff
in her vehicle.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
There ain't no way this shit is real, right.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Rate her body for our truckers four and a half. Five.
There you go, boys of that open roads treating you
just curly dark hair, curly dark hair.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
No, it gets better, nothing like a curly set up
on a four. Go oh, I'm enjoying the stories. Actually,
I want to get my hair cut. You want to
hear what else happen to her in her life?

Speaker 3 (37:33):
Right?

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Oh? Man?

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Well, when she was moving from the farm, her brother
also lives on the farm, okay, and she was like,
when her grandpa died, her grandpa gave her half the
tractor and her brother half the tractor. Might see, you're
supposed to split it down the middle. She's like, I
don't know. But she was like, So one day I
fixed the battery and then I came back in the
bat It wasn't working. It wasn't working, and I couldn't

(37:58):
figure out what the hell. And I looked at my
brother had taken the old battery and put it back in.
He had taken the other battery and sold it. I
was a two hundred and fifty dollars battery. She was like,
so I didn't fix the tractor the whole time. But
now that I've moved, I fixed the tractor and I'm like,
but you moved off the farm, so you have the
tractor in your backyard.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
I didn't understand it. It's a success story. She went
farmed in Nashville. Yeah, a dream home, dream home.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
I never understood that part. But she she changed the
laws and she only took ten thousand. Then when her
grandpa died rest in peace. Yeah, he left her father
two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Shit, did you hit her with that? I was like, wow,
that's crazy. She goes, yeah, you hit her with it.
She cuts you.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
In the wheel in the whel My dad got the
two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and I was like wow,
and she was like yeah, but right before my grandpa
died and my uncle stole it. Michael stole all two
hundred and fifty thousand. Well, sounds like we just investigated
something that we need to investigate. She was like, my
dad didn't care about the money. He was like, all right, whatever,
you can have the money.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
He goes, but she goes.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
It just really made me mad because I really thought
my aunt and uncle were saints I've really looked up
to them. I admire them, And now my aunt won't
even talk to me. I'm like, really, I'll talk to you.
I'm like why and she said, oh, because, like five
years after he stole all that money from my grandpa,
my uncle died. And I told my aunt karma comes

(39:31):
in big doses. Those that lie cheating steel have shorter
lives or something. She did some quote, how's my hair?

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Is it short?

Speaker 2 (39:38):
And she said, and so my aunt said, you're crazy
and I don't like you. And she goes, well, I
don't like you. So I haven't talked to my aunt
in five years.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Have you talked to the scissors that you're cutting my
hair with?

Speaker 2 (39:48):
And I'm like, oh, wow, that's that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
She's like, yeah, that's just kind of wild. I mean
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
I don't know, dude. It was like, get me out
of this freaking chair.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Ray. Oh my gosh, dude, is it one of those
places that you can drink too? Yes, cause you should
have now I think she'd been drinking. Okay.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
It was the most insane haircut I've ever had in
my life.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
My lady doesn't take on any dudes. She only gets
because of the highlights. She gets three hundred, four hundred
dollars from women. Dude, I go in there, it's fifty
dollars for a haircut and a massage and a shampoo.
She's not even making She's told me she's not even
really making money on me. She could make so much
more with other people, but she loves that. I traveled
to Franklin for her because she used to be on
West End went to a different location. I was the

(40:33):
only person that moved with her. And now she's flourishing.
She's one of the major Bretwood Franklin social Light, Nashville housewives,
beauticians of Nashville. And I'll hang up and listen.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
It was rough man, am I lady? I don't even
know if I told you all the days, the thing,
the best gift. My lady speaks Russian. We don't even
speak the same language. The only word she knows in raimundo.
That's amazing and fifty dollars. I wish I would have
known that.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Oh no, no, I don't know. I don't hear a voice.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
All I hear is the cutting of scissors and the
buzz of the razor.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
For one entire hour, and she dude, dude, she doesn't
stop at nothing. She'll during the towel out, clean my ears, massage. Dude,
she does the shampoo for thirty minutes. Sometimes I'm out
like a light. Oh where am I? Where the hell
it bones? Oh? What, I'm at the beautician? Hey? How
are you? Oh Natalia? Sorry? Oh you told me your name.

(41:36):
That's good information. You're not con a fight her A right, right.
I didn't even tell you the best part. I i'd
been on this roller coaster ride. Give me the climax.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
I forgot to tell you. At one point she was
an elected official in the HORTWN mayor's and I said, wow,
you were the mayor. Just I was higher the mayor,
higher than the mayor. And I'm like, what, how can
you be higher than the mayor?

Speaker 5 (42:02):
No?

Speaker 2 (42:03):
No, No, isn't mayor the highest one in a town? Gubernatorial?

Speaker 1 (42:09):
No, governor?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
I did it is the state. But in your town,
if you're the mayor of your city, are you not
the highest elected official?

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Maybe? I don't know politics.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Well, I mean, now, with equality, the secretaries above the mayor,
secretary of the mayor's office, she was something above the mayor.
I don't even know what it was, but this was
before she cut hair, and she was like, I was
the something something.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
She was the notary. She stamping meller a notary. You
need one. She was like, I was only the vice
of this.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
But then they resigned, so everybody loved me that was
on the political board, so they elected me president.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
Immediately.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
She was like I didn't have a chance to even
like say no. We were all on zoom and they
elected me. And I was like, oh.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
No, they're like speech speed eat speech.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
And she's like I was all my friends were giving
me a hard time and I'm like but and she's
locked up. I was like really, and she's like yeah.
And so I was above the mayor and I'm like,
I can't with you.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Do you know the town?

Speaker 2 (43:12):
No, dude, it was where the farm is, where she's
gonna go drop the cat off.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
But then I help a date my town, dude, because
we're going to Hell in a handbasket if so. No.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
And then the greatest part is that she has a
dog named Sam. And she was like, yeah, one time
I was in the hospital and I couldn't find anybody
to take care of Sam, so I just left the
back door open. Sam went out to pasture, and she
was like, and Sam was able to take care of
himself for four days, just come and go as he pleased.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
That's called abandoning your dog. I'm like, there's no damn way.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Sam was okay after four days, Like he'd be freaking
out about food because dogs eat all the food they see,
he'd be without food. But she was like, yeah, I would,
I could just you know, he would leave, he'd go
out and play, then he'd come back in the house
and he'd and she was like, he did that for
four days.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
It was just amazing. So she has the exotic shift
you need to avoid the late night haircuts.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Bro, tell me what percentage of her stories are real.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
There's there's pieces of them that are. But I mean
the men.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
I almost went to get the metal detector out of
my car to see if she had one in her
leg or not, like she said, because then if she
didn't have a metal rod, I'm not gonna believe the
knife to the guy's throat, the guy trying to abduct
her that she wasn't able to open.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Oh, well, was the metal rod? Hold on? Is that
the thing that was cutting your hair? I gotta take
a break.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
How are your I forgot to tell you that she
is royalty among a certain group of people.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
I forgot all about this.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
I can't believe that I've spent twenty minutes on the haircut.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Is this interesting?

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Do you want to hear how she became royalty?

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yes, we'll take a break. We'll be right back. I'm
assuming Prince Andrew did something. I mean, he's been in
the new stuff.

Speaker 5 (45:00):
No ray.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
At one point she decided to go live with the Amish.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
I've seen the Amish thing. That's a very doable. I
hate to play a contrarie devil, but it is doable.
There's Amish in towns in my community.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
Luckily, there was eight Amish girls or women when she
showed up, and there was two guys, two guys to
impregnate them, trying to kidnap them. And luckily she showed
up just in time, and she went to her car
and got a Louisville slugger out of the car and

(45:37):
beat those guys and they never came back. And she
instantly became royalty with the Amish.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
They love her now.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
Like when her mom was in the hospital, they would
go every day and visit her mom because of how
she's saved.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
What is his name, Juanita Soto.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
No, her name is Mary Amber Judge, the Virgin Mary.
I mean, dude, she talked about how now the Amish
happen like every time she comes, they cook for her
and they make her all this stuff and they bow
down at her feet like she can live with them
whenever they want. I mean, I was like, how did

(46:21):
all of this happen to this one person? I hope
she got a dollar tip. Here's a tip. No more stories, No,
here's a tip. Shut up, just please. I mean, I
couldn't take it, dude. I was like, just get me
out of the chair. I don't care if you're only
halfway down with my haircut, Like please, I want to
go home.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
I want to go home and just sit in silence.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
I came here because I just got done putting my
kids to bed, and I thought I was gonna have
a peaceful haircut on a Friday night, and it turned
into a freaking nightmare.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Dude. You gotta go middle of the day, afternoon, when
it's slower. People are a little bit more relaxed.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
They're not trying to ear TALKI gifted jab Ray and
I talked to you about golf real quick, Ray, I
would love to hear about golf. That's where I was going. Next,
is your golfing adventure?

Speaker 1 (47:05):
Right? Well, no, no, it wasn't even an adventure. Oh
now I don't need the crime bed. Uh where did
Arnold load that?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
There?

Speaker 1 (47:12):
It is? I go to a golf course for two hours,
a really nice one. It's a type of rock and
it's a number of rocks. Got it? We go there?
Who's we? You and bay me and Bayes? Right, an't
even golf. We went to brunch.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
I watched the golfers come by, dude, and they would
come into the pro shop. It was hilarious. One guy, Yeah,
give me six high nooners. Yeah, I gave me six highs.
Another guy, I need a sandwich and hot dog. The
lady behind the bar, you know what, honey, just get
back to the next nine.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Come get me.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
At the very end, she was bringing them in and
sending them out to the bag nine.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
She didn't want any hold up to call me baby
doll about one hundred times. Another my mousa baby doll,
of course, But yeah, we could see I think it
was it was right at the turn.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
You can see eight or nine. So me and Bezel
would say if a guy was gonna hit it on
the green or not. You went to a golf course
to eat breakfast. Yeah, that was That was the depressing
part that we didn't even play golf. You use a
driving range and then you ate breakfast. I didn't. Me
and Bazer went to brunch at a golf course because
they have awesome brunches on.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Saturday, and you used the putting green after brunch. No,
I didn't play any golf, but I was a part
of it. And you know what, it felt damn good.
And that's me telling everybody, get on the range, boys,
get out there. It's time to start golfing. But it
was kind of tough seeing all the guys stroll through
and I'm just wait, a brunch man, what we have?

Speaker 1 (48:39):
I had a mimosa. She had a bloody Mary and
an espresso martini, and then brunch, brunch, sandwich, burger.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Something light. I had grilled cheese. I had an adult
grilled cheese a five year old, and and then we got,
oh they have what the hell hold on? What is
an adult grilled cheese. It's a grilled cheese. But you
just feel more adult order. And then they had mozzarella balls. Dude,
she brings out the plate. There was lettuce for the
green and the marinara sauce was the hole on the

(49:14):
golf course, and so the little balls were around the
putting green. And she said, this is the closest you're
going to get to the course today. And then she said, hey,
I know you have no balls because you're eating brunch here.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
You're not playing golf. Here They are on a platter,
and lady couldn't be any sweeter.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
On the way out, baby doll, you only had one salad.
I'm not even gonna charge you for the salad bar.
We'll just say it was a side salad. Love that place.
The second it's sixty degrees, I'm golfing there. It was, dude,
there was every dude in Nashville golfing there. I'm sitting
there having brunch. I told Bays, we gotta get you

(49:56):
a club. We gotta get out there start swinging girls.
She used, she took lessons, but it'd be tougher to
keep up with pace of play.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yeah, well she could pick up. Yeah, that's what we
would do. I would probably golf. And then she would
do a shot here, shot there. We wouldn't be able
to play too full, me and her both at the sane.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
And it sounds like you had a hell of a
time playing golf. Man, that sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
One dude, we were there an hour and a half.
Put down three or four? What it wasn't what's a
popular brown liquor? Was it jack and coke? Is it.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Was?

Speaker 1 (50:32):
It was straight Jamison? Boom, I knew you know, dude
had four.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
Jamison's in an hour and a half. Nice it was
Did he have his balls on the platter?

Speaker 1 (50:43):
Two? Or did he actually play golf? Funny bro No,
he wasn't playing golf. He was in his cowboy boots,
so he was chilling. It was a it's a place
you can chill and not play golf. That's how I
fit in. And he was drinking it.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Wouldn't you have to walk up woodsteps?

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Yeah? I got it.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
It was when you pull in, there's a hole on
your right and the parking lot's on your left.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Yes, got it. And there's twelve parking spots when you
first pull in, and they all say the name of
the brunch spot. You can only park there if you're
eating there. So there's another reason you have a reserved spot.
I had a spot right there because I wasn't playing
golf smart and so the guy dude, he was drinking
him so fast. She was just bringing over a cup
and pouring it in his same ice because the ice

(51:24):
hadn't melted. Damn god. She was a day at the
course and I didn't even swing a car. We had
ourselves a day. Oh man, we'll take a break over
right back. Oh that's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Oh man, Well, I feel like I'm missing a sound bed.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
There's the top of it up. Maybe that fits it
all right.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
I went to play golf I think one day. Was
it Thursday afternoon? And I go and the course is
wide open. I mean, I pull in the parking lot,
don't see a soul, walk into the clubhouse. Nobody there,
and I'm like, hey, can I play eighteen? It's like, yeah, man,
no problem, it's wide open today. I hadn't seen anybody goes.
But we're going off number ten, number ten today to start.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
For you truckers, that means you start on the back
nine and then you'll get the front nine after the
back nine. Correct.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
I'm like, cool, man, go take a piss, come back out,
load up the cart, drive the hole number ten, tee off,
don't see anybody. Finish the hole. Go to a number eleven.
Finish the hole. Don't see anybody. Drive it into the
fairway on number twelve. Then I see someone down there,

(52:41):
and I got to wait, and I got a wait,
and so then I start looking in the woods for balls,
you know, thinking I'll just find some balls, looking looking,
can't find any. Oh here's one. Oh no, it's cutting half.
Someone just tossed it in the woods. I mean, I'm
in the woods for a good ten twelve minutes looking
for balls, just killing time. The dude's that well, I
wasn't looking.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
I was like, oh, he'll be long.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Gone by the time I get back out of the woods.
And I come out of the woods, he is just
now walking up to the green. And that's when I realize, Ray,
he's not playing just one ball, He's not playing just
two balls. Disrespectful, and that's that's actually, that's a disserviced
in the entire course.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
He's not playing just three balls.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
He is playing four golf balls per hole.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
Hey, Nicholson, let's go.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
And I understand if there's no one around you practicing
your shots. Do it fine, But once you see me
back up there, like you see my golf guart waiting
to hit into the green, play the one ball and
get out right. So he chipped four different shots onto
the green and he sees me before he chips, because
I saw him and he looked at me, but he chipped.

(53:51):
I didn't realize he had chipped four. I saw him
addressing his one ball. That's when I went into the
woods and I came out and there's four balls on
the green. I'm like, oh, maybe he took a couple
of practice shots.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Now he sees me, no four, he puts all four
damn balls.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
I don't know if I've ever seen that before. Like
you've seen a guy he'll take one shot, drop a ball,
take another one. If it's playing slow guys, if these
courses are moving, you take one. It's your one shot,
your one ball. You're playing to take four. The audacity,
the audacity, dude.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
I was like, you have got dude. I was like, listen, man,
there is no one on this golf course. And I
don't mind if it's it's a fessome in front of me, whatever,
but it's just one person.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
You're playing four balls.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
You are not going to be the reason I'm gonna
play a four and a half hour round because you're
gonna play four balls.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
And also, guys, it's usually you play the multiple balls
on the drive or the the seven iron or the chip.
You don't put four. You don't put four.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
I mean, are you keeping four different scores on your scorecard?

Speaker 1 (54:53):
You and your three invisible friends?

Speaker 2 (54:56):
I mean, unbelievable, unba believable.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
Tell me the was at altercation.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
There was no altercation.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
So how did you play it the whole time? The
next hole?

Speaker 2 (55:08):
I well, I when I got back up, when I
got up to the green, I just started chipping a
couple just because I was there was no one around.
I was like, I'm gonna let him go. And he
got the hint and he high tailed it skip the
next hole and he went to the next hole.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Oh, just so he could do it, so he could
do his four ball.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
So he was a hole and a half and he
stroke play like he was playing foursomes but himself, which
is weird that he would skip a hole, Like why
would you not just play one ball in that hole
to keep the score. But he didn't want Maybe he
went back to that hole that he skipped. I don't know,
but he did skip a hole so he could get
out in front of me and then we had no
more issues.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
I'm almost thinking member on that one, because some of
the guys by the course by me, you'll see them.
They get impatient and they'll skip over too, and they
just tell the guys skip skipping two and then maybe
they'll come make it up. Or they just play money
per hole so they don't care about every individual hole.
It was very interesting. But that guy, since he had
three invisible friends, he was playing money with his invisible ye.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
He lost a lot of money. The second ball was
the best player for sure. Number four should have just
picked up every hole. He quawded, bogied every hole. I'm
telling you, dude, I'm telling you, it's got hey. It's
good to be back out on the course.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
It is good to be back on the course. I
didn't shoot that great.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
I had some great shots and some terrible shots, but
some really good shots.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
I'm like, damn, this is what golf's all about.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Man. Yeah, all right, anything else? Do you do anything
else this weekend? Anything else you want to talk about?

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Went to goodwill. Yeah, uneventful, went to a Mexican restaurant,
went to brunch at the golf course, went shopping for
a couple pairs of pants that I can now wear
on the Big Show because we have that new rule
you can't wear sweatpants. Yeah. I read about foreign policy
Saturday night. That's fun. That's impressive. Man. Sunday, I had

(56:47):
to we're getting our yard worked on because we don't
have green grass. We're the only house in the neighborhood
that has brown grass. Oh, so they're doing the yard today.
Not a good look.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
So I had to clear out system.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
But I had to clear out rock. Dude, I got
hand injury.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Oh no, yeah, you're gonna post that on the Facebook
page and Instagram.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Dude, I was doing rocks for four hours on Sunday.
Baser goes were you? I said, I had to do rocks.
What do you think that's a one minute project? That's rough?

Speaker 2 (57:12):
Man?

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Like what guy says, honey, I'm going to do rocks
And he's back in a minute, like, yeah, it's gonna
take some time. I'm moving rocks. Why didn't you just
get a digger? He has to be delicate, the only
way to do is with a rake. Oh that's a
rough day, man. That's why you gotta have kids. Two
point two acres. No, don't worry. I saw some of
the neighbors and I was like, man, I should hire them,
But then you know, you what if they're you know,

(57:33):
they're not worth the money. But if you're not a
good employee, that's a good point. Then you gotta fire them.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Then it's awkward between the neighborshire a six year old man, like,
you're not cutting them and you're really slacking off.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
You gotta go.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
I'm just glad you're not doing that next Saturday because
next Saturday, Motorhead Events dot Com. I'm gonna be in
the demolition derby. I'll see you there Saturday, March muss Birthday.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
And this will never make it on the big show,
so I'll tell it here. Helicopter, as I'm raking the
rocks pulls over our neighbors house. I'm talking half of
a football field up then thirty yards twenty yards, dude,
this helicopter was about to land on a house, drop
the rope down, did drop the ladder, nothing happened. I'm
sitting there raking rocks. Then it pulls up to my

(58:14):
house and sits there for forty five seconds. That's where
we start throwing rocks at it. It would have been
just a little too high if I was trying to
throw a rock, but it's still sitting up there. What
is going on? Beser as an app where it shows
exactly what planes go over our house. It came from
Murphy's Borough, it crossed through Nashville, and then once it
got to my neighborhood, it just was circling, sitting circling.

(58:35):
We're like, dude, what is going on? Either somebody escaped
from jail, the cops are looking for somebody, or it's
a new pilot and they don't know how to pilot.
It's definitely putin. It was d One of the neighbors
wrote on the Facebook page, Hey, guys, sorry about that.
My husband is a pilot and he's just saying hi
to me from the helicopter. He pulled over our house
and he waited out on the helicopter until I came

(58:57):
out on the front door and said hi, and so
then sorry about that, you guys. Dude. Basil was terrified.
She's on the back porch, get out of here. She
was like going like this a crazy arm and I
was wad It was like Basil, that was crazy.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
They just sat over our house for like thirty seconds
and they took off. She goes, yeah, because I was
on the back patio with a broom telling him to leave.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
It's like a sit down with the She looked like
a crazy old lady in the country. That's really funny. Oh, Man,
all right, well, yeah, I helpe people like Zach. Oh
they like Zach dude.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
And I'm sorry if the haircut story went on too long,
but I had to get it off my chest.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
It was bugging me. And guys, the Zach thing, it
was a business deal.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
He lended us this studio, so I felt it was
proper of us to give him a little bit of
time to promote his brand and his image on our podcast.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Yeah, alright, have a good Monday, guys. Don't hate the
booker guys.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
Yeah, and don't hate Zach either.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Man, just hate the podcast. That went hard though.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Man, I.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Didn't know we're going there. We went right there.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
That's what happens when you don't plan.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Things, asking me body counting stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
Hey, that's what happens when you don't when you don't
have a you know like that. One guy wanted to
have everything planned out. He was like, it's too all
over the place. If we weren't all over the place,
how would we had that gold? I mean yeah, yeah,
that was wild. Yeah, yeah yeah