February 19, 2025 • 47 mins
In this episode Lunchbox talks about how fast time flies as he celebrates BabyBox2's 5th Birthday! Ray thinks we are idiots who think time is going fast and he feels like he has been on Earth for 80 Years! Plus Lunchbox had to an unfortunate experience at the grocery store trying to use the self checkout line. Also we have a funeral to remember the glorious memory of what used to be Kansas Jayhawks basketball.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Listen. Yo, you got a lot explaining it. Oh, I
got a lot to talk about. Man, is it what
I think I need you to talk about? Yeah? I
think it is. You were gonna dodge the listeners today.
You did not want to do an episode. I didn't
want to do it, and I said, so help me, God,
we deserve it in a snowmageddon to give it to
(00:23):
our people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It's my son's birthday, baby Box two. Happy fifth birthday.
Can't believe you've been alive for five years. Here's what's crazy.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Five years ago you.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Were born and I sat in that hospital and I
was holding you looking out the window, and there were
snowflakes falling down. And here we are five years later,
and snowflakes were falling down. Five years coming full circle.
Pretty freaking crazy, Happy freaking birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Boy. Baser used to say this about our late cat Pablo.
She would say, I can't believe I've kept that thing
alive for fourteen years. Do you feel the same.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I think that with your first kid, you think of
it more like, oh my god, I kept something alive
for a year, two years, and then once you've done
it you have a second one, you're like Oh, I
already know how to do it, so it's not as
shocking to me that I've kept this one alive for
five years, so it's more of the first one.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
But I do look at it. I'm like, damn, and
this is so stupid.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It's so cliche, and we say it over and over,
but it is amazing how fast it goes.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
The gift of life.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
No, no, it is so bizarre to me that I
still remember being in that hospital and being exhausted and
the tired nights and the sleepless and you're like, oh
my god, are we ever going to get through this phase?
And the next thing you know, dude's five years old.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
But don't do that with me with time, because I
can explain it to you and totally bash all your
thoughts of time when you were in high school. How
long ago does that seem?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
It seems like yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
It does well, that totally ruined what I was gonna do.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
But when you think about it, you're like, oh shit,
it's been over twenty years.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
But does it okay? So the exactly I'm saying, how
many years has it been for me? It's been what year,
one years? What year is this? Twenty twenty five. Yeah,
so it's been twenty six years. And for me it's
been twenty one years. Oh my god, dude, I've been
out of high school for twenty six years. This may
will be twenty six damn years. When we Oh, by god,
(02:27):
when we first moved here, does that seem like twelve
years ago more or less or exactly twelve years? I
can't believe it's been twelve years. Did it went by
that fast? Yes? See? But what you think about maybe
because I lived in so many different spots around town
when we moved twelve years dude, that seems like thirty
(02:48):
years ago. High school seems like fifty years ago. So
if you think about the far distance thing, they seem
actually not as far as they should. So don't do
the crap with me, baby box. I can't believe he's this. Yeah,
I can't believe the sore Losers convention. We've had four
of them. That's shocking.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
That is shocking.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
But there are years when stuff when you go, holy dude,
I can't can you believe you've only been on this
earth thirty nine years? How long have you been on
this earth?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I've been on this earth? Holy crap, it'll be forty
four years. I'll be forty four.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
See, dude, it's it. Dude. I say to god, it
feels like I've been on this planet seventy years. You're
telling me it's only been thirty nine thirty. It seems
I've been here eighty years doing this thing. So when
you do that, it really brings it into perspective.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
You make me laugh so damn much.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
What I'm telling you. I hate when people do that, Like, Dude,
I can't believe me and my chick had been married
four years. I mean, yeah, that's a little unbelievable. But
if you actually think about when me and Bezer first met,
I lived at the radio station, then I lived with her,
then we lived on the West Side, then we got
a house. When we first met, i'd say fifteen years ago.
(04:06):
So to say it's just ten is pretty shocking. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I just look at it and I'm like, I can't believe,
like I've been We've been on the air here longer
than we were on the air in Austin. That's wild.
That blows my freaking mind. We were on the air
in Austin for ten years. We've been on the air
here for twelve years. That is but Nana's. That's but Nana's.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
But if you think, then if you break it down
all the iterations of the show, all the people that
have come and gone, the producers, executive producers, Hillary, I
mean she was here seven years ago.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Great point because I went and had drinks with a
former intern this weekend.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I teed you, right.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
She hit me up and she was like, Hey, my
husband and I are coming to town. We're going to Kojo.
And I don't know who the hell Kojo was, and
I was like, oh cool. Later I figured out Cody
Johnson goes by Kojo. Yeah, I'll pull up, and so
I said, okay. So on Sunday, I said, hit me
up and would you like to grab a drink or something?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Hey, I'm outside co Hog.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
And so we went to have drinks on Sunday at
Pushing Daisies. And let me tell you, Pushing Daisies.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I don't even before you even say it, I bet
you loved it, badass, because it's all tequila drinks and
it's down low. It's an underground bar, no TVs. Yes,
it was awesome because you love tequila. Yes, every drink
I hate it. Every drink that was tequila.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I want to Mickey, Sorry, I like tequila. So they
had so many options for tequila drinks. And I was like,
this place is the shit. I knew you'd love it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I was like, I'd never been in there, and I
was like, uh huh, I'm down with this.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I am down with this. And I'm like, I give
her a hug.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Good to see. I meet her husband, a man, nice
to meet you. Forget his name, but he was a
really nice guy. And I'm like, man, that's crazy. I
was like, who all did you intern? And she starts
naming people's names. I'm like, I don't remember. She goes
and I said, what year did you intern? She goes,
It's been twenty years. I said, excuse me. She goes, yeah,
(06:12):
I was like two thousand and four, two thousand and five,
and I'm like, oh, so she was one of the
first interns, one of the first interns. It had been
twenty years, and I'm just sitting there going, what it's
been twenty years since you were an intern? What the
hell is going on with my life? So time is
(06:35):
so bananas to me because now I look at it.
My son, now, my second son is five years old,
baby Box two, he's finally gonna start having memories, because
I think about five years old is when you remember
stuff like when you're older.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You don't remember stuff when you were three two years old.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
But you can't select the memories that they're gonna have. No, no,
I can't select it. But all this way, I'm gonna
play God no.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
No, it blows. That's my mind that all this shit
we've done in his life up to this point, he's
mostly not gonna remember at all.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And the things they remember is the random stuff, random shit.
They'll remember a big box trip because we remember Disney World.
My grandparents paid for it. They'll remember that one. But
it's always the time Dad freaked out on the interstate,
or you had to wake up in the middle of
the night and drive through Chicago two hours south of
it because my dad's afraid of going through cities. That's
(07:29):
the stuff you remember. You don't remember. Remember that bow
I tied on there, Yeah, that was nice. They'll remember
the time Dad had too many to drink, not the
time Dad was drinking his protein drink. And I'll hang
up and listen, you're.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Right, which just wild, it's just wild. And so yes,
you say time is like, Oh, you hate when people
say that shit.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
But it's so true.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Like of all the times my dad coach just playing
younger baseball, One of my most vivid memories is we
went and worked on a dugout and my dad was
upset because the other dads were drinking and they're like
getting drunk working on the dugout. And my dad was
sober and he got back in the truck after we
were there for six hours and he goes, can you
believe that they were all drunk doing that? And we
were just a little kids. We go, yeah, that was weird.
(08:12):
They were drinking and oh duel or they were drinking Heineken.
But my dad was upset about that. Of all the memories,
that's one of the memories I have. He was pissed
that the other dads were drunk doing the construction. That's
really funny too. We don't even remember it playing on
the diamond. I just remember the building of the diamond
the one time my dad was bad.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
That's interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
So upset, dude, I can't believe they're drinking around you kids,
and especially on the field. But I didn't want to
say anything.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Like one of my favorite memories of my dad as
a coach. We were at a soccer meeting and they
were talking about the sprinklers and they said something contradictory
like turn them off at the beginning practice, turn them
back on, and don't forget do this, turn them this way.
And my dad raises his hand and goes.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
So, you want me to turn the sprinklers off at
the beginning of turn them on at the end. They're
like yeah, and he goes, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I mean, I don't know why I remember that.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Like it's so stupid, has no saying, no relevance to anything.
But I think it was his tone of voice. He
was very sarcastic because maybe people I think maybe people
were confused, and he was trying to be like, all right,
smart asses, obviously you turn them off at the beginning
and you turn them at the end.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
How hard is that?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
And so he raises his ind and goes, so, you're
telling me you want me to turn him off at
the beginning of practice and turn him on at the
end of practice.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
And who was being a smart ass? I think to
the other people in the room that were having so
many questions about it, it was pretty cut and dry,
and I remember it vividly and we were there and
Forrest was it and we still laugh about it. We
would laugh about it for years. Just bring it up
out of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
When you were being super Dad the other day playing
golf in the rain and then coming inside and warming up,
remember that shit. Not gonna remember that shit, man, but
I will.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
They'll remember when I yell at him.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Unfortunately, we'll remember that me and the nation.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
They'll remember when I'm like brushing teeth and they are
doing something and they're not listening. I'm like, just stop it,
because they still they'll remember when they walk in on
hanky panky. It's six months ago and they still like
dead at dead at Remember when we were bushing our
teeth and You're.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Like stop, you remember that, Dad?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
And I'm like yeah, Dad lost a little bit. It
was a long day of word.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
And I'm like, you remember when we met Walker Zimmerman
and baby box Dud was like no, I'm like okay,
Like those are the memories I want you to have,
not to me yelling.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
What just stop knocking off or stop at like that's amazing,
But like today is today five years old is when
he's gonna start cementing memories and what's crazy is last night,
like he's turning five today.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I had a dream.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I is that your oldest one? No, he's my middle okay,
my oldest six. Okay, your oldest one. It seems like
he's been here for fifteen years? How old is he six?
The middle one's been here at least seven and he's
five five today. And the youngest one, how old is he? Three?
See that three years has gone quick. The other ones
(11:07):
they've been here that long.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Five years ago, five years ago. Today is when you
and the guy that used to do this podcast with
us showed up at the hospital with Chick fil A?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Was that number one or number two?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Number two?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Okay, okay, yeah, that's five years That's when you guys
came back to say hi to my wife, and the
doctor's like, it's go time, it's go time, it's go time.
And Eddie Oh believed that. Sorry looked at her and said, well,
where's the doctor, and she said, I am the doctor.
(11:43):
That was five years ago where we sat out there
and ate Chick.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Fil a, Right, that was the end of sexism in
our country. It's just it's crazy. It's the last night
I had this. I mean he doesn't have kindergarten for
another what six months? But man, I had a vivid
dream of his first kindergarten last five year old. Yes, dude,
I went to kindergarten when I was four.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
No, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, I did, and I had to go to T
one transitional because we went. My parents took us too
young because I was born in September. However that falls
with it.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I definitely didn't go. I went when I was five.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Okay, okay, That's what most normal Americans do, is they
go in their five.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
That's why I went to transitional. Then I don't. Transitional
is in between kindergarten ahead of tirade. It's not mean
a lot of people are transitioning now. Parents were so
excited to get us in the education system. Then there
was a whole handful of ten of us that they
held back because we were so far advanced. So we had
I've went to school one more year than everybody else.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
So you went to kindergarten twice.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Went to kindergarten, and then I went to T one
and then I went to first grade. I've never heard
of T one for an entire year. It was me
and ten other students, because all our parents were incorrectly
told when to put their kids in kindergarten by some
person at a board meeting.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Or they put them in kindergarten because they wanted the
free daycare they didn't want to have to pay for it.
Because there was a girl, Katherine Gunthner, she graduated with me,
and she her birthday wasn't until November, and so she
had to be four years old when she was in
kindergarten because she didn't turn seven. She turned seventeen when
we our senior year, so hers was like November third.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Or something like first gunthr But they did t one,
so then our ages tended to match up where everybody
then graduated at eighteen. Nobody was a Cooper Flag huh,
And I was just didn't classify Cooper Flag was seventeen
apparently the other day playing basketball.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Didn't know that Ryan Williams from Alabama seventeen seventeen. And
the dream last night, it was so weird because I've
never had a dream about him going to kindergarten, and
then the night he's turning five years old. I mean,
I dreamed about him going to kindergarten.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
But it makes sense you were thinking about his birthday party, grades,
getting older, you're probably talking about it with your wife.
All that stuff plays into it. It's not just this
the dream. Gods presented it with you the eve of
your child's birth.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
He drunk, maybe because the dream was so vivid. And
it was such a weird dream. Because I dreamed that
my wife thought it should be he should go to
his first day at kindergarten where I went to elementary school.
So we flew to Austin and enrolled him at Summit
for his first day where I went to first through
fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
And guess what, that's the tradition only you and your
wife would have remembered.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
And then she and I was like, but he's gonna
miss the first day at his normal school, and she goes, no,
this way, he gets a second first day, so when
we go back to Nashville in two days, he'll have
that first day at that school.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It's actually a genius if you're loaded.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It was so weird.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
And then it was like the school all of a
sudden had rooms where parents could sleep in if they
were visiting from out of town.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It was a bizarre dream, speaking of traveling in private jets.
Do you like traveling a ton? To find traveling a
ton like every other week? No? Probably not. That's miserable, right, Yeah,
Like I know people.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
That travel for work and they travel like every week
or other every other week.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
That would get old.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Dude, the al Deans, I fall him on Instagram. They
travel all the time. They go to their beach house.
Al Dean has a show, then they go to their
Nashville house. Then they'll go back to their beach house.
I think the kids are homeschooled. I don't know how
else they pull it off.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
I was about to ask where do they go to school?
How do they go to school?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
That's the part of being rich that doesn't entice me
all pass If that's the rich life, I don't want it.
The reason I have a house and live in a
city is to live there. I want to live somewhere
where I know every damn street sign, every car that
passes my house at a certain time of the day.
I that's too much traveling, and I'll hang up and listen.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I would say, if like I had a beach house
and I could go spend three weeks down there, two
weeks uninterrupted.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It's not that they do a one off where they'll
just go to the beach house for a couple of
days then come back. That's a little much. If they're
not in a plane every week, I would be shocked.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
But they traveled different than we you and I.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
But I don't like But I'm telling you, I don't
like traveling that much.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
But if you were able to travel private, where you
get there, there's no airport lines, there's it's an hour
and a half flight. Like whatever, you get on the plane,
you drive to the airport, you're on the plane. There's
no going through TSA, there's no waiting for everybody to board.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
How the do you know? You see the movies bro Ray,
they always show the no TSA lines. That's a telltale
sign of a PJ.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, coaches, I mean no, you never heard.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Of a BJ on the pj's. That makes traveling so
much easier, So it's not as laborers. That's actually a
good point. I kind of didn't think about that. So
you could do your jet to take the kid to
the elementary school and then bring him back the next day,
and it's not as long.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Right, it's two I mean that's twenty minutes to drive
to that airport, you get on the plane, immediately, you
fly out, you're there. Two hours later, you're at the
beach house.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Because Morgan when she went overseas, not to jump to
too many different topics here, but when she went overseas,
that many flights kind of didn't seem like vacation. I
didn't see how many flights she took. They went to Brussels,
then they went to Bartholona, then they went to Beida.
I think that's how they pronounce them all. You got
to like pronounce them with a list or something. And
(17:16):
then she went to Bartolona, and then you went to Beida,
and then there was four or five different flights.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
That's a lot of flights, too much.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
That's a lot of flights.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Like I have my friend that I play soccer with
that is traveling the world right now, she's on a
nine month vacation ted up. She is now flying from
Honolulu to Japan. She has been traveling all over Europe,
all the white to Hawaii. Now she's on her way
to Japan. I mean, you want to talk about not
(17:47):
having anywhere to be. I don't know how many days
they're spending in every city they're going to but unbelievable.
That's a lot of flights. Like when we went to Iceland,
it was two flights here to Minnesota, Minnesota to Iceland.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
It's pretty Minnesota. It was that easy Minnesota. Can I
tell you about a trip quick story after the break
or do you have that break filled up? Well? Great?
The birthday, yeah, Ray, I gifted him a walrus No,
and also a spearfish. No.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I'll be right, we'll be right back and I'll hear
about your trip.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Butt.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
First, I want to tell you I was trying to
get prepared for the birthday party and something happening happened
that just pissed me.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Oh, i'll tell you right after this. Mine was quick,
but go go ahead, Oh go ahead, man. I'm trying
to get Bazer to go to Costa Rica with me. Okay,
she always wants to go to the all inclusive. I
told her I need adventure in my life. I have
no adventure right now. I have a nine to five,
a ball and chain. If I don't get adventure right now,
(18:57):
show me to the Cumberland the Cumberland Coffee Shop, because
I need a coffee to think about it. So I
want to go to Costa Rica. And I went there
for a whole summer, so I know the volcano to
go to. I know the huge ass waterfall to go to.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
You want to go do the same exact same shit.
You don't want to try something different.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Oh, I just know we won't get kidnapped on that stuff,
got it. I know the bungalow to stay in in
the jungle with all the monkeys all around it, and
you have your own private pool. I know how to
take the auto boose and use Kolonne's and pay for
it and go to the beach. I know how to
do all that shit. I know how to go to
the city that's a little bit feeling kind of hustle
and bustle and like you're about to get robbed, but
you're not. I know all those different parts of Costa Rica,
(19:34):
and so I really feel like bless thank you. I
it's enough adventure. I know it's a place I've been
that I know, and I don't know if Faser's gonna
like it. So with all that to say, I have
six months to convince her over to you. Man's that's
what's been on my mind over to you with your situation.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Well, last night my wife's like, oh, we should probably
get you know, stuff to make a birthday cake. And
after basketball practice, you want to just stop by the
store and grab you know, cake mix, some frosting, and
maybe a gallon of milk.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
And I'm like, yeah, no problem, So we go. I
go to the grocery store. You guys are making it
from hand, well from scratch by hand, not scratch.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Scratch is where you get the whatever this mix it together.
This just comes in a box, has all the ingredients.
You just throw it in a pan.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It's there.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
So I go to the grocery store and this is
what pisses me off. It's like eight o'clock at night
and there's not one cash register open. It's only the
self checkouts.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Grocery story story, Oh, grocery stories.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
This is grocery stories.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
And so there's a line of like five people waiting
to use the self checkouts, and there's one, two, three,
like six self checkout lines right.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
One chick in the yoga pants, one guy over eighty,
a lady.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
They can't see. And it's like in a square. So
it's not like it's extra separate lanes there. It's like
a square where everybody walks in. You go to which one.
So one opens up and I go over there and
I put my basket down after waiting in line for
about six minutes, you know, because there's so many damn people.
It's so slow to do the self checkout because people
can't find the freaking barcode.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Can't.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Oh I need an attendant, it says, I need an attendant.
Just turn it around. Yeah, oh can I see her?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I need you to enter my ID because I need alcohol.
Are you know like, oh these this this isn't scanning.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Can you running? Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Let me look up the UPC code. Okay, that's the
Dasani water.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Okay. If there's six of them, five of them got
to show IDs because they're all trying to suck something
off after work.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
So I wait in line five to six minutes and
I'm like, all right, cool, and I got my basket
full of stuff. I go put it down. I start
to check out. Be I beep one thing, beat beep
a second thing, beat a third thing.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
And here comes to the attendant.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh excuse me, sir, this is express. It's ten items
or less. And I'm like, but he goes, you have
more than ten items in that basket. So I'm gonna
have to ask you to get.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Back in line, sesh.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
And I'm like, I've already started. He goes, Oh, don't worry,
I'll just cancel it out for you. And I'm like,
you have got you freaking kidding me?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Where's you at?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
I was at the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Was your account? Oh? I was probably twenty items?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
You doubled him up, But I didn't even see the
damn thing. All I did was I see someone leave,
and I'm the next person in line. So I'm just
gonna walk up to the If it's self checkout, it's
self checkout.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I don't want to limit on how many.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I understand when it used to be like there was
only two self checkouts, and you want to be able
to get in and out faster, you had the express
lane where someone's actually working, when you ain't got a damn.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Soul working at the grocery store. How about this. I
don't give a shit how many groceries I have. I'm
just gonna use the one that is first open.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
But the fact that you're gonna waste my freaking time
to come over and cancel out my damn transaction and
asked me to get.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Back in line is absolutely absurd.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
It's absurd, like maybe instead of supervising the self checkout,
how about you get your ass on a register and
start checking out some groceries. Then we won't have this
freaking problem. Ah, I'm I'm just trying to hear to
get a birthday cake, a birthday.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Card, some icing it's a birthday.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
And some cherries to put top on top of the
cake because he wanted a cherry cake.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
And you don't have cherry flavored cake.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You got strawberry, you got angel cake, you got chocolate,
but you ain't got nothing with cherry. So I'm just
gonna stick these cherries on top of the fucking cake
and we're gonna have a cherry cake.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Did you count my knuckles sandwich as part of the
twenty items? Yeah? Did you see these two balls?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
And this bad It's gonna slap you across the face because, oh, sorry,
I have more than ten items. I waited in line
for six minutes. I'm sorry. You have a little sign
about the size of a playing card on top that
says ten items or less that needs to be eliminated.
Open a fucking register and let me get out of here,
(24:12):
I don't need to go.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Back in line.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Did you count the tea bags?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
So I took my three things a mush, put them
back in my little green basket that I was carrying,
and went back in line and waited for another register
to open, and I had to start the whole damn
process over again.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Did we do an intro to the show? I don't know,
getting old? We're getting old? Hey, you know what, we
need to go back to the beginning and do a
damn intro and start the show right, I mean, you
want to talk about so.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
And then here's the most annoying part grocery stories is
I got two balloons. I got one the big number five,
and then I got one with a soccer ball, a basketball,
a baseball, a golf ball, and a tennis ball. And
it says happy bird they to you or something like that. Well,
I need someone to blow them up, right, And so
(25:06):
I asked, mister guy, that's uh, do you blow Nope? Nope.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I finished checking out, and the guy supervising the self checkout,
the guy that made me get.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Back in line.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm gonna tell you what he looked like, Dwight Shrut
from the freaking office that's exactly what he looked like,
same hair, same everything.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
That's the kind of guys you need in the community though.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
And I said, hey, man, can you get me someone
over there to blow up the balloons? He was like, oh, actually,
if now that you're done checking out, you can just
head over to customer service and they'll call someone for you.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
No, why don't you call something? So you're telling me,
Dwight Shrute that I you can't pick up the phone
and say can we get help to the florals?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Someone needs help blowing up balloons? Like, what is your
job exactly? You are here to supervise the self checkout.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
So you're just a self checkout. I was gonna say
something else, police officer. You don't do the old phone
call is at the next hierarchy, call it put it
up the flag, Like what is your point of suit?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
So I have to take an extra step instead of
you just getting on the phone and calling I have
to go to a different counter, wait behind two more
people that are having issues or looking for something or
need something at customer service and they'll call someone over.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
To blow with the balluns. Yeah, that's right, sir, it's
just right over there. No, I know where customer service is,
but your phone is three inches from your damn hand.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Pass the buck. Do you want a bonus grocery store stories? See,
I would love one, dude. At mine, they actually have
those self checkouts, But as you're self checking out, a
lady will come and get in front of you and
start checking your stuff out. Guys, guys, guys, why don't
(26:49):
you just have check her out or things like they
used to have in the eighties where we all just
go and we give you our groceries. So then she's
been over swiping my stuff in front of me, turns
around high their paper, plastic plastic, just right there as
I'm behind her, and she's in front of me bent
over scanning. Dude. How inefficient is this, Sally the scanner?
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Just open a register, Just get on number four and
say turn your light on and say I'm open down here,
instead of getting your ass right in my crotch, dude.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
And then she turns around, Uh, card or cash? Well,
I can enter that. I'm aware of how to run
these little machines because guess what, guys, We've been running
the payment machine and the scanning for the past five years,
so we know how to probably scan faster than you guys,
So then I have to give her my card over
her shoulder and she scans it. You're all set. Oh great,
I've been behind you the whole time. I didn't even
(27:40):
know what you were scanning.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
How inefficient is that.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
The grocery store has become the most inefficient place in
the world. It's unbelievable how we have dumb things.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Down and made it impossible to get out of there
so easily, Like, why do we make it so hard?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And then you got one's the card, only one's cash.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
No cash back? No, I mean, it's a nightmare. We
better start the show man.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
That was grocery Stories. We're gonna do a live we
oh the one, two, three sore losers?
Speaker 3 (28:17):
What up, everybody? I am lunchbox.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I know the most about sports, so I'll give you
the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much
a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
It says it. I'm from the North. Arnold is off
today because of Armageddon. Excuse me, snow mcgeddon, And I'm
from the North, as I already said, I live in
the North. As I already said, we do have two
acres we lost a little bit to erosion after the rain.
We now have two point one five acres. We live
north of town, basers snowed in. I hope to get
(28:47):
there sometime today. Brother said it was a hell of
a drive in. I stayed the night in a hotel.
Over to you, man, Man, Yeah, we're worn out. We're
gonna take a break right back. Yeah, yeah, go ahead
and hit that death music. Man, is this deathly enough? Yeah?
I just don't want to get pulled.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
It is dark times on the planes of Kansas, Oh Lawrence, Kansas,
to be exact right. We lost to Utah on Saturday night,
and I'm like, okay, we play BYU next and we
are gonna be staying out there in Utah. We're gonna
(29:30):
have a time. We're gonna figure this out this one.
We're gonna come and blow the doors off someone. We're
gonna come out angry and with a vengeance.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
It's between you and God and Kansas. Ray.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I got a text. I didn't even know the game
had started yet.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
I thought the game started at eight thirty, and I
guess it started at eight I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
And I get a.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Text for my buddy Chris, who I don't hear from
that often. He only likes to text when bad shit's
going on to your favorite team. He's not there when
your team's doing good and tell you hey, mayor team's
looking good. Only once a year he'll text what's wrong
with this? Or what's wrong with your Cubbies or what's
wrong with your Spurs?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
And i's wrong with your marriage, Chris, that's a great point.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
And I get a text and he's like, what is
wrong with your Jayhawks?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
And I'm like, I don't know. I'm in the middle
of reading stories.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I don't know what you're talking about. And then the
B said, I'm Charlotte, this is my web Well the
B said, buz hell does Chris One.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And I'm like, I'm like, dude, We're unathletic. We're not
very good. I mean, but we played BYU tonight, so
maybe we'll get back on the right track. Little did
I know the game was already on. So I go
into the living room and I turn on the TV
and it's already halftime, Kansas twenty six BYU forty six.
(30:59):
And I was like, what the fuck, Like, there's no
way that's right. So I pull out my phone and
I go to ESPN dot com and I look and
they also have the score Kansas twenty six b Yu
forty six.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
You thought it was incorrect.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I thought it was incorrect, The screen was wrong. Thought
something was wrong, And I'm like, how the hell are
we down twenty points at halftime?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
To be why you.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
We were the number one team in the country to
start this season, and come this Sunday we will be unranked.
So I'm sitting there, going we're down twenty. We're about
to see an epic, epic Kansas comeback in this second half.
(31:56):
We are going to be diving all over that floor.
We're going to be full court press, and there's gonna
be all out effort and I'm gonna I'm gonna see
hustle like I've never seen before out of the Kansas Jayhawks.
And what did I watch? Two out of the first
three possessions we had the ball in the second half,
I watched unathletic, slow as a sloth, soft as fucking
(32:23):
Charman hunter Dickinson pull up from three.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
He's trying to make it back. I'm like, what the
fuck are you doing? That guy can't even shoot a bunny.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
He can't even make a leg up, But all of
a sudden he is Steph fucking curry.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Ah, the homeless version of Steph.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
And I swear to god, I'm not joking. I tossed
the fucking channel changer in the air and let it
smack it down on the four.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah. Yeah, we get broken in. And I hear from downstairs, Dad,
what was that? Uh? Bug? I slapped it though.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I said, I dropped the channel changer?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
What crazy? How many pieces it breaks into it? You
only drop it? I said? And they said, and baby
Box says, what are you watching? Just blues clues? I said,
Kansas versus BYU. And he's like, oh, it's Kansas winning.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
No, they're down by twenty nine, dude, we hit Hunter
Dixon did hit one of the threes, but then he
thought he was a three point shooter. And then we
proceeded to shoot three after three after three, and you
know what we didn't do? Make three after three after three?
(33:42):
You know what BYU did? They made three after three
driving layup? Oh, drive past you, layup, drive past you floater?
Good God. I thought it couldn't get worse. They were
beating us by thirty seven fucking points. Thirty seven points
were I and I am just sitting there going I'm
(34:05):
done with this team, Like I have never been so
discouraged by a team. And I sat there and I
watched it, and I said, these guys hate each other.
Nobody on that team likes each other. I don't know
who hates you. I don't know if Dwan Harris hates
kJ Adams, if kJ Adams hates Hunter Dickinson, if AJ
(34:25):
Store hates Hunter Dickinson, if AJ Store hates k I
don't know who hates you. But there is a fracture
in the team. They absolutely hate each other. They hate
playing together. There is no chemistry. Nobody is having fun
BYU was just laughing and dancing and shitting all over
(34:48):
our faces. And I said, God, we're gonna be unranked.
I will tell you this. I don't turn off Kansas basketball.
I do not turn it off. Last night was seven
minutes and forty six seconds left on the clock. I said,
(35:12):
there's no point in watching this shit anymore. And I
turned off the game when we were down thirty seven
freaking points.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I think it was thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I couldn't even do the math because we only had
like thirty eight points and they had like seventy something,
and so I was like, I'm out of here. I
don't need to watch this. And then I look at
a quote from Bill Self last night and he said, quote.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Not gonna get the better removed when you get beat.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yep, don't need to take down the manor he said,
he is exact quote. Let me pull it up for you, Ray,
because you're thinking they stayed in Utah since Saturday's bought
team bonding. They're gonna come together and they're gonna realize,
you know what this is us against the world.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Ray, was I wrong? Man?
Speaker 2 (36:04):
The Bill Self quote, he said, let me tell you self,
we need to get away from each other. I'll tell
you that point blank. Self said the trip did not
go as planned. He hoped it would be a bonding trip,
but it is not turned out.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Like that slapping ass in the shower.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Ku will get back to Lawrence at five am on
Wednesday morning. They won't see each other until Thursday. That
right there tells you he thought this was gonna be
the trip that united the team. There's been something wrong
all season. He thought this was the trip. Self said
the trip did not go as planned. He hoped it
(36:42):
would be a bonding trip. But it has it turned
out like that. AKA, they fucking hate each other.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
It's like every couple when they come home from vacations.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yes, the vacation is so great, it's gonna be so this,
this is the vacation we need to reconnect. This is
gonna get our relationship back on stable ground. And you
come back from the vacation and you file for divorce.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
This is what that is. Dude.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
It is over for this Kansas basketball team. We dude,
here's how good we were. We beat Duke. Duke is
damn good you did?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
We beat Duke, and now we are getting dick slapped
by a bunch of Mormon BYU people, two of the
guys of which are white, and they were just handed
it off white. The one with the headman was just
draining threes. Let me say this, there is nothing going
on in sports right now. And when I say that, repeat,
There is no gambling. There is no baseball, there's no basketball,
(37:38):
there is no football, there's no college football, there is
no hockey. There's really no golf. There is nothing right
now because Live is on their own tournament. I don't
even know how to watch. I don't even know how
the players are in it. You turn on a tournament
and it's Rory and Speeth and that's it, and everybody
else is on live. There's nothing for sports right now.
And I came into work. I have nothing right now
(37:59):
to live and I pull up my computer ESPN. Why
not just throw it on ESPN. I haven't looked at
this site in about five days, and it says a
colossal loss for the history and legacy of Kansas basketball.
And I said, that's dramatic. I scrolled out to the
score ninety one forty seven, and what I tell you,
(38:24):
I laughed at one am uncontrollably. I am not kidding.
I was like, this team is what I thought they were.
And I was so brought in by the headline. I
hit play on a two minute highlight clip and laughed
(38:45):
my ass off. Dude, you guys were down twelve nothing,
then he got closer than You're down thirty to fifteen.
Then you're down like sixty to ten. They're just launching
threes over you guys. Head the guy with the headband,
he looks like fucking Steph Curry from nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Dude, who is this guy? Just he's better than coober flag.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I'll tell you that the best part of the highlight
was this one white guy is about to take a
wide open three and he goes, na, man, you take
a dog. And then here goes headband, another white guy,
wide open three train. No, they were deciding which white
guy can shoot there because they're all open. I was
laughing my ass off at one am. Dude. Oh, that's
(39:33):
a hell of a team to bring me to tears
at one am. And I did see Dickinson wandering around
like he was fucking lost. Dude. He made a couple
of the clips and he didn't even know what he
was doing out there.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Ude, put his ass on the bench.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Give me an athlete, Give me someone that can run,
because all teams do his freaking run as fast as
they came down the court, and he can't get back
in time.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
He is so slow. And here's how sad it was.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
With fourteen minutes left in the game, Bill self called
his final timeout.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
He called his final timeout with fourteen minutes left. Me
right the ship, dude, Dude, I can't believe we didn't
just pull the red shirt off all of our red
shirt players that you guys play or don't put the
starters back in.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Just put the bench guys in and see if something happens.
I don't know, but I didn't even know the final
damn score, ninety one to forty seven.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I could be sensational.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
That sounds about right.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
God it said, colossal historical loss in the longest legacy
of Kansas basketball happened on this here night.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Oh so don't worry. I got a test him.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Chris that said, let me see what he said later.
I mean this guy that doesn't I mean, he's a
Texas fan, so he has nothing to cheer about with
their basketball team.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They suck. And he said, you can't spell blow out
without BYU. I'm like, okay, that's so funny, so original,
And so I went to the Facebook page. Man, I
just want I wanted to. I just want to do it.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
I said, welfare check on all the Jayhawks in here.
This is a safe space, so feel free to be emotional.
KA so painful to watch. Jeremy Griffith just so sad,
zero heart landing Blackburn. This team is hard to watch.
I had to turn it off. Jesse Ebara, n t bound,
(41:36):
Travis Cohen, zero heart with this team. Seeing BYU guys
doing diving for loose balls up by almost forty while
Ku just stands there as just crazy. Get this season
over with already and press the reset button, ready for
his diggings in to be done. Most unathletic seven footer
I have ever seen. He runs, dude, He runs like
(41:59):
Akay and Caraway.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Collaway responds and goes, how does the lesbian run at?
Travis replies like Hunter Dickinson asking for a friend.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Matthew Lemons, Now, k you fans are right here with us,
unc fans. Brandon Hill. I think Memphis and Kansas should
go head to head for who is the biggest disappointment
this season?
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Brandon Hill, he loves his time.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
He does, he does Rosanna, I am not well. Brandon
woods put puts a freaking meme of Duke, we kicked
your ass. Shut up, Kobe Fassenberger, Dewan, kJ and Hunter
are the problem, not all on Bill's self.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
And then that was about it. I mean that just
goes on and on.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I mean it was just awful, dude. It was a
lot of KU backers in the page though, Yeah, a
lot of them. And we are not well. We're not well.
Good news is I don't have to pick and win
it all when March comes, because they might not even
make the damn tournament.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Please just make the tournament?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Is that serious?
Speaker 3 (43:07):
Serious?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
We still have We still have Houston left on our schedule.
I think we got Arizona let on our schedule. You
guys are either a state or someone left on our schedule.
You always aren't gonna make. We got Tech, we got
freaking Houston and maybe Arizona. That's three ranked teams. We
ain't winning a damn one of those games. Dude, They're
not gonna let you across the Texas border. You're gonna
be accused of.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
We'll take a break, we'll right back. Oh my gosh, dude,
I ain't got nothing else. No, I have something.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
I gotta read an email and you tell me here
it goes lunch. I don't understand why all the hatred
for TGL. Watching Tiger screw his Jupiter team week after
week because of his poor play and being on the
wrong side of forty is what I assume your Rex
soccer team deals with on a weekly basis. Embrace the chaos,
(44:02):
my man, Joe from Sarasota not fun, I mean, Joe,
I can't watch that crap. It's so terrible. It is
so terrible. Here's another one. Let me see where it is, Okay, Hi, boys,
absolutely love the podcast. Longtime listener here in Australia. I'm
going to be in Nashville next week and I'd love
nothing more to meet you guys and be on the
(44:23):
podcast on Wednesday to twenty six.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Happy to do whatever I need to make it happen
once in a lifetime trip and opportunity. So hoping you
might be able to make it work. Troy from Australia.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
As long as you take care of us when we
come to Australia.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, his name, he's a general manager in content and
commercial something. And he hit me up on Facebook a
month ago and I never responded. So Troy, I apologize.
We would love to have you on the pod next Wednesday, right.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
I mean, good luck get him in the building. There's
the downstairs that you have to get him past. Then
there's our door and I gator. Somebody comes by here
and we have an unattended guest, somebody that isn't credentialed.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Hey, Troy, we're gonna get you in next Wednesday. You
can be on the pod because we're nice guys like that,
and maybe you can help me out. Maybe Kansas is
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Let's go home.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I just want to read that email because we got
to get him on. Yes, Troy is a go have
a safe flight.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Oh yeah, bones, this is true. Troy's a college basketball player.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
I think we had BYU right where we wanted them to.
We just ran out of time. We were about to
come back.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Can I tell a story, yeah, off, Mike about passing
the buck? Yeah, did you see the puddle by the bathroom.
No puddle is like the whole freaking walkway was covered water.
I went downstairs to the front desk at the address
that building, Yeah, and I go, hey, guys, this is
a video of this leak that's happening. I told an
exact location. Here's a stairwell. I took a picture and
(45:54):
I go, yeah, probably just ten towels, bring them up
there and you get all taken care of. That was
nine hours ago. So were they then thinking to just
pass the buck to our maintenance staff or our cleaning lady? Anna, Yeah,
I don't think it didn't come in today, So then
who does the bucket pass to because now there's still
a puddle sitting right next to the sales floor. If
they have any client, they're gonna slip break their neck.
(46:15):
Call Osha and sue us to the fucking ground.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Rosanna said, do you think we'll make the tournament? This
is the first time I've ever been worried we may
be not in it. We beat duke Man, we gotta
make it. Yeah, but that's passing the buck I can't
believe it made you laugh that much. No, no, And
I was like, Okay, I don't want to read anything
about Kansas, so I go to cbssports dot com. First
(46:41):
thing on there Kansas basketball hits rock Bottom. Okay, all right,
let's just not look at sports for the rest of
the day.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
A rocky bottom for rock chok Oh, it's gotten rocky
for rock Chalk. Oh that's a good one, man, thanks,
just pour it on. Rock Chalk finds rock Bottom. That's
another good one. I haven't seen that one yet. So
depressing the ESPN though they got me with the colossal
and historical. It's like, holy shit, what happened? Scroll down?
Oh my gosh, I thought like some Kansas guy like
(47:10):
did the first ever j Bird, uh triple double or something.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
I don't even want to call my dad today because
usually I call him after Kansas game to talk about
I don't even he's just gonna be like, I don't know,
mass pretty pathetic, it's pretty sad.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
It's pretty sad. So we'll say, all right, we're going home.
I buzzed it. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go clean up
that puddle.
Listen. Yo, you got a lot explaining it. Oh, I
got a lot to talk about. Man, is it what
I think I need you to talk about? Yeah? I
think it is. You were gonna dodge the listeners today.
You did not want to do an episode. I didn't
want to do it, and I said, so help me, God,
we deserve it in a snowmageddon to give it to
(00:23):
our people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It's my son's birthday, baby Box two. Happy fifth birthday.
Can't believe you've been alive for five years. Here's what's crazy.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Five years ago you.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Were born and I sat in that hospital and I
was holding you looking out the window, and there were
snowflakes falling down. And here we are five years later,
and snowflakes were falling down. Five years coming full circle.
Pretty freaking crazy, Happy freaking birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Boy. Baser used to say this about our late cat Pablo.
She would say, I can't believe I've kept that thing
alive for fourteen years. Do you feel the same.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I think that with your first kid, you think of
it more like, oh my god, I kept something alive
for a year, two years, and then once you've done
it you have a second one, you're like Oh, I
already know how to do it, so it's not as
shocking to me that I've kept this one alive for
five years, so it's more of the first one.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
But I do look at it. I'm like, damn, and
this is so stupid.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It's so cliche, and we say it over and over,
but it is amazing how fast it goes.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
The gift of life.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
No, no, it is so bizarre to me that I
still remember being in that hospital and being exhausted and
the tired nights and the sleepless and you're like, oh
my god, are we ever going to get through this phase?
And the next thing you know, dude's five years old.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
But don't do that with me with time, because I
can explain it to you and totally bash all your
thoughts of time when you were in high school. How
long ago does that seem?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
It seems like yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
It does well, that totally ruined what I was gonna do.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
But when you think about it, you're like, oh shit,
it's been over twenty years.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
But does it okay? So the exactly I'm saying, how
many years has it been for me? It's been what year,
one years? What year is this? Twenty twenty five. Yeah,
so it's been twenty six years. And for me it's
been twenty one years. Oh my god, dude, I've been
out of high school for twenty six years. This may
will be twenty six damn years. When we Oh, by god,
(02:27):
when we first moved here, does that seem like twelve
years ago more or less or exactly twelve years? I
can't believe it's been twelve years. Did it went by
that fast? Yes? See? But what you think about maybe
because I lived in so many different spots around town
when we moved twelve years dude, that seems like thirty
(02:48):
years ago. High school seems like fifty years ago. So
if you think about the far distance thing, they seem
actually not as far as they should. So don't do
the crap with me, baby box. I can't believe he's this. Yeah,
I can't believe the sore Losers convention. We've had four
of them. That's shocking.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
That is shocking.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
But there are years when stuff when you go, holy dude,
I can't can you believe you've only been on this
earth thirty nine years? How long have you been on
this earth?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I've been on this earth? Holy crap, it'll be forty
four years. I'll be forty four.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
See, dude, it's it. Dude. I say to god, it
feels like I've been on this planet seventy years. You're
telling me it's only been thirty nine thirty. It seems
I've been here eighty years doing this thing. So when
you do that, it really brings it into perspective.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
You make me laugh so damn much.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
What I'm telling you. I hate when people do that, Like, Dude,
I can't believe me and my chick had been married
four years. I mean, yeah, that's a little unbelievable. But
if you actually think about when me and Bezer first met,
I lived at the radio station, then I lived with her,
then we lived on the West Side, then we got
a house. When we first met, i'd say fifteen years ago.
(04:06):
So to say it's just ten is pretty shocking. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I just look at it and I'm like, I can't believe,
like I've been We've been on the air here longer
than we were on the air in Austin. That's wild.
That blows my freaking mind. We were on the air
in Austin for ten years. We've been on the air
here for twelve years. That is but Nana's. That's but Nana's.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
But if you think, then if you break it down
all the iterations of the show, all the people that
have come and gone, the producers, executive producers, Hillary, I
mean she was here seven years ago.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Great point because I went and had drinks with a
former intern this weekend.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I teed you, right.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
She hit me up and she was like, Hey, my
husband and I are coming to town. We're going to Kojo.
And I don't know who the hell Kojo was, and
I was like, oh cool. Later I figured out Cody
Johnson goes by Kojo. Yeah, I'll pull up, and so
I said, okay. So on Sunday, I said, hit me
up and would you like to grab a drink or something?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Hey, I'm outside co Hog.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
And so we went to have drinks on Sunday at
Pushing Daisies. And let me tell you, Pushing Daisies.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I don't even before you even say it, I bet
you loved it, badass, because it's all tequila drinks and
it's down low. It's an underground bar, no TVs. Yes,
it was awesome because you love tequila. Yes, every drink
I hate it. Every drink that was tequila.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I want to Mickey, Sorry, I like tequila. So they
had so many options for tequila drinks. And I was like,
this place is the shit. I knew you'd love it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I was like, I'd never been in there, and I
was like, uh huh, I'm down with this.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I am down with this. And I'm like, I give
her a hug.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Good to see. I meet her husband, a man, nice
to meet you. Forget his name, but he was a
really nice guy. And I'm like, man, that's crazy. I
was like, who all did you intern? And she starts
naming people's names. I'm like, I don't remember. She goes
and I said, what year did you intern? She goes,
It's been twenty years. I said, excuse me. She goes, yeah,
(06:12):
I was like two thousand and four, two thousand and five,
and I'm like, oh, so she was one of the
first interns, one of the first interns. It had been
twenty years, and I'm just sitting there going, what it's
been twenty years since you were an intern? What the
hell is going on with my life? So time is
(06:35):
so bananas to me because now I look at it.
My son, now, my second son is five years old,
baby Box two, he's finally gonna start having memories, because
I think about five years old is when you remember
stuff like when you're older.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You don't remember stuff when you were three two years old.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
But you can't select the memories that they're gonna have. No, no,
I can't select it. But all this way, I'm gonna
play God no.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
No, it blows. That's my mind that all this shit
we've done in his life up to this point, he's
mostly not gonna remember at all.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And the things they remember is the random stuff, random shit.
They'll remember a big box trip because we remember Disney World.
My grandparents paid for it. They'll remember that one. But
it's always the time Dad freaked out on the interstate,
or you had to wake up in the middle of
the night and drive through Chicago two hours south of
it because my dad's afraid of going through cities. That's
(07:29):
the stuff you remember. You don't remember. Remember that bow
I tied on there, Yeah, that was nice. They'll remember
the time Dad had too many to drink, not the
time Dad was drinking his protein drink. And I'll hang
up and listen, you're.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Right, which just wild, it's just wild. And so yes,
you say time is like, Oh, you hate when people
say that shit.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
But it's so true.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Like of all the times my dad coach just playing
younger baseball, One of my most vivid memories is we
went and worked on a dugout and my dad was
upset because the other dads were drinking and they're like
getting drunk working on the dugout. And my dad was
sober and he got back in the truck after we
were there for six hours and he goes, can you
believe that they were all drunk doing that? And we
were just a little kids. We go, yeah, that was weird.
(08:12):
They were drinking and oh duel or they were drinking Heineken.
But my dad was upset about that. Of all the memories,
that's one of the memories I have. He was pissed
that the other dads were drunk doing the construction. That's
really funny too. We don't even remember it playing on
the diamond. I just remember the building of the diamond
the one time my dad was bad.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
That's interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
So upset, dude, I can't believe they're drinking around you kids,
and especially on the field. But I didn't want to
say anything.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Like one of my favorite memories of my dad as
a coach. We were at a soccer meeting and they
were talking about the sprinklers and they said something contradictory
like turn them off at the beginning practice, turn them
back on, and don't forget do this, turn them this way.
And my dad raises his hand and goes.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
So, you want me to turn the sprinklers off at
the beginning of turn them on at the end. They're
like yeah, and he goes, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I mean, I don't know why I remember that.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Like it's so stupid, has no saying, no relevance to anything.
But I think it was his tone of voice. He
was very sarcastic because maybe people I think maybe people
were confused, and he was trying to be like, all right,
smart asses, obviously you turn them off at the beginning
and you turn them at the end.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
How hard is that?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
And so he raises his ind and goes, so, you're
telling me you want me to turn him off at
the beginning of practice and turn him on at the
end of practice.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
And who was being a smart ass? I think to
the other people in the room that were having so
many questions about it, it was pretty cut and dry,
and I remember it vividly and we were there and
Forrest was it and we still laugh about it. We
would laugh about it for years. Just bring it up
out of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
When you were being super Dad the other day playing
golf in the rain and then coming inside and warming up,
remember that shit. Not gonna remember that shit, man, but
I will.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
They'll remember when I yell at him.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Unfortunately, we'll remember that me and the nation.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
They'll remember when I'm like brushing teeth and they are
doing something and they're not listening. I'm like, just stop it,
because they still they'll remember when they walk in on
hanky panky. It's six months ago and they still like
dead at dead at Remember when we were bushing our
teeth and You're.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Like stop, you remember that, Dad?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
And I'm like yeah, Dad lost a little bit. It
was a long day of word.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
And I'm like, you remember when we met Walker Zimmerman
and baby box Dud was like no, I'm like okay,
Like those are the memories I want you to have,
not to me yelling.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
What just stop knocking off or stop at like that's amazing,
But like today is today five years old is when
he's gonna start cementing memories and what's crazy is last night,
like he's turning five today.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I had a dream.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I is that your oldest one? No, he's my middle okay,
my oldest six. Okay, your oldest one. It seems like
he's been here for fifteen years? How old is he six?
The middle one's been here at least seven and he's
five five today. And the youngest one, how old is he? Three?
See that three years has gone quick. The other ones
(11:07):
they've been here that long.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Five years ago, five years ago. Today is when you
and the guy that used to do this podcast with
us showed up at the hospital with Chick fil A?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Was that number one or number two?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Number two?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Okay, okay, yeah, that's five years That's when you guys
came back to say hi to my wife, and the
doctor's like, it's go time, it's go time, it's go time.
And Eddie Oh believed that. Sorry looked at her and said, well,
where's the doctor, and she said, I am the doctor.
(11:43):
That was five years ago where we sat out there
and ate Chick.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Fil a, Right, that was the end of sexism in
our country. It's just it's crazy. It's the last night
I had this. I mean he doesn't have kindergarten for
another what six months? But man, I had a vivid
dream of his first kindergarten last five year old. Yes, dude,
I went to kindergarten when I was four.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
No, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, I did, and I had to go to T
one transitional because we went. My parents took us too
young because I was born in September. However that falls
with it.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I definitely didn't go. I went when I was five.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Okay, okay, That's what most normal Americans do, is they
go in their five.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
That's why I went to transitional. Then I don't. Transitional
is in between kindergarten ahead of tirade. It's not mean
a lot of people are transitioning now. Parents were so
excited to get us in the education system. Then there
was a whole handful of ten of us that they
held back because we were so far advanced. So we had
I've went to school one more year than everybody else.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
So you went to kindergarten twice.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Went to kindergarten, and then I went to T one
and then I went to first grade. I've never heard
of T one for an entire year. It was me
and ten other students, because all our parents were incorrectly
told when to put their kids in kindergarten by some
person at a board meeting.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Or they put them in kindergarten because they wanted the
free daycare they didn't want to have to pay for it.
Because there was a girl, Katherine Gunthner, she graduated with me,
and she her birthday wasn't until November, and so she
had to be four years old when she was in
kindergarten because she didn't turn seven. She turned seventeen when
we our senior year, so hers was like November third.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Or something like first gunthr But they did t one,
so then our ages tended to match up where everybody
then graduated at eighteen. Nobody was a Cooper Flag huh,
And I was just didn't classify Cooper Flag was seventeen
apparently the other day playing basketball.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Didn't know that Ryan Williams from Alabama seventeen seventeen. And
the dream last night, it was so weird because I've
never had a dream about him going to kindergarten, and
then the night he's turning five years old. I mean,
I dreamed about him going to kindergarten.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
But it makes sense you were thinking about his birthday party, grades,
getting older, you're probably talking about it with your wife.
All that stuff plays into it. It's not just this
the dream. Gods presented it with you the eve of
your child's birth.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
He drunk, maybe because the dream was so vivid. And
it was such a weird dream. Because I dreamed that
my wife thought it should be he should go to
his first day at kindergarten where I went to elementary school.
So we flew to Austin and enrolled him at Summit
for his first day where I went to first through
fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
And guess what, that's the tradition only you and your
wife would have remembered.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
And then she and I was like, but he's gonna
miss the first day at his normal school, and she goes, no,
this way, he gets a second first day, so when
we go back to Nashville in two days, he'll have
that first day at that school.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It's actually a genius if you're loaded.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It was so weird.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
And then it was like the school all of a
sudden had rooms where parents could sleep in if they
were visiting from out of town.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It was a bizarre dream, speaking of traveling in private jets.
Do you like traveling a ton? To find traveling a
ton like every other week? No? Probably not. That's miserable, right, Yeah,
Like I know people.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
That travel for work and they travel like every week
or other every other week.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
That would get old.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Dude, the al Deans, I fall him on Instagram. They
travel all the time. They go to their beach house.
Al Dean has a show, then they go to their
Nashville house. Then they'll go back to their beach house.
I think the kids are homeschooled. I don't know how
else they pull it off.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
I was about to ask where do they go to school?
How do they go to school?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
That's the part of being rich that doesn't entice me
all pass If that's the rich life, I don't want it.
The reason I have a house and live in a
city is to live there. I want to live somewhere
where I know every damn street sign, every car that
passes my house at a certain time of the day.
I that's too much traveling, and I'll hang up and listen.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I would say, if like I had a beach house
and I could go spend three weeks down there, two
weeks uninterrupted.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It's not that they do a one off where they'll
just go to the beach house for a couple of
days then come back. That's a little much. If they're
not in a plane every week, I would be shocked.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
But they traveled different than we you and I.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
But I don't like But I'm telling you, I don't
like traveling that much.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
But if you were able to travel private, where you
get there, there's no airport lines, there's it's an hour
and a half flight. Like whatever, you get on the plane,
you drive to the airport, you're on the plane. There's
no going through TSA, there's no waiting for everybody to board.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
How the do you know? You see the movies bro Ray,
they always show the no TSA lines. That's a telltale
sign of a PJ.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, coaches, I mean no, you never heard.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Of a BJ on the pj's. That makes traveling so
much easier, So it's not as laborers. That's actually a
good point. I kind of didn't think about that. So
you could do your jet to take the kid to
the elementary school and then bring him back the next day,
and it's not as long.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Right, it's two I mean that's twenty minutes to drive
to that airport, you get on the plane, immediately, you
fly out, you're there. Two hours later, you're at the
beach house.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Because Morgan when she went overseas, not to jump to
too many different topics here, but when she went overseas,
that many flights kind of didn't seem like vacation. I
didn't see how many flights she took. They went to Brussels,
then they went to Bartholona, then they went to Beida.
I think that's how they pronounce them all. You got
to like pronounce them with a list or something. And
(17:16):
then she went to Bartolona, and then you went to Beida,
and then there was four or five different flights.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
That's a lot of flights, too much.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
That's a lot of flights.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Like I have my friend that I play soccer with
that is traveling the world right now, she's on a
nine month vacation ted up. She is now flying from
Honolulu to Japan. She has been traveling all over Europe,
all the white to Hawaii. Now she's on her way
to Japan. I mean, you want to talk about not
(17:47):
having anywhere to be. I don't know how many days
they're spending in every city they're going to but unbelievable.
That's a lot of flights. Like when we went to Iceland,
it was two flights here to Minnesota, Minnesota to Iceland.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
It's pretty Minnesota. It was that easy Minnesota. Can I
tell you about a trip quick story after the break
or do you have that break filled up? Well? Great?
The birthday, yeah, Ray, I gifted him a walrus No,
and also a spearfish. No.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I'll be right, we'll be right back and I'll hear
about your trip.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Butt.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
First, I want to tell you I was trying to
get prepared for the birthday party and something happening happened
that just pissed me.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Oh, i'll tell you right after this. Mine was quick,
but go go ahead, Oh go ahead, man. I'm trying
to get Bazer to go to Costa Rica with me. Okay,
she always wants to go to the all inclusive. I
told her I need adventure in my life. I have
no adventure right now. I have a nine to five,
a ball and chain. If I don't get adventure right now,
(18:57):
show me to the Cumberland the Cumberland Coffee Shop, because
I need a coffee to think about it. So I
want to go to Costa Rica. And I went there
for a whole summer, so I know the volcano to
go to. I know the huge ass waterfall to go to.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
You want to go do the same exact same shit.
You don't want to try something different.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Oh, I just know we won't get kidnapped on that stuff,
got it. I know the bungalow to stay in in
the jungle with all the monkeys all around it, and
you have your own private pool. I know how to
take the auto boose and use Kolonne's and pay for
it and go to the beach. I know how to
do all that shit. I know how to go to
the city that's a little bit feeling kind of hustle
and bustle and like you're about to get robbed, but
you're not. I know all those different parts of Costa Rica,
(19:34):
and so I really feel like bless thank you. I
it's enough adventure. I know it's a place I've been
that I know, and I don't know if Faser's gonna
like it. So with all that to say, I have
six months to convince her over to you. Man's that's
what's been on my mind over to you with your situation.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Well, last night my wife's like, oh, we should probably
get you know, stuff to make a birthday cake. And
after basketball practice, you want to just stop by the
store and grab you know, cake mix, some frosting, and
maybe a gallon of milk.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
And I'm like, yeah, no problem, So we go. I
go to the grocery store. You guys are making it
from hand, well from scratch by hand, not scratch.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Scratch is where you get the whatever this mix it together.
This just comes in a box, has all the ingredients.
You just throw it in a pan.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It's there.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
So I go to the grocery store and this is
what pisses me off. It's like eight o'clock at night
and there's not one cash register open. It's only the
self checkouts.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Grocery story story, Oh, grocery stories.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
This is grocery stories.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
And so there's a line of like five people waiting
to use the self checkouts, and there's one, two, three,
like six self checkout lines right.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
One chick in the yoga pants, one guy over eighty,
a lady.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
They can't see. And it's like in a square. So
it's not like it's extra separate lanes there. It's like
a square where everybody walks in. You go to which one.
So one opens up and I go over there and
I put my basket down after waiting in line for
about six minutes, you know, because there's so many damn people.
It's so slow to do the self checkout because people
can't find the freaking barcode.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Can't.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Oh I need an attendant, it says, I need an attendant.
Just turn it around. Yeah, oh can I see her?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I need you to enter my ID because I need alcohol.
Are you know like, oh these this this isn't scanning.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Can you running? Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Let me look up the UPC code. Okay, that's the
Dasani water.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Okay. If there's six of them, five of them got
to show IDs because they're all trying to suck something
off after work.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
So I wait in line five to six minutes and
I'm like, all right, cool, and I got my basket
full of stuff. I go put it down. I start
to check out. Be I beep one thing, beat beep
a second thing, beat a third thing.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
And here comes to the attendant.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh excuse me, sir, this is express. It's ten items
or less. And I'm like, but he goes, you have
more than ten items in that basket. So I'm gonna
have to ask you to get.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Back in line, sesh.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
And I'm like, I've already started. He goes, Oh, don't worry,
I'll just cancel it out for you. And I'm like,
you have got you freaking kidding me?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Where's you at?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
I was at the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Was your account? Oh? I was probably twenty items?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
You doubled him up, But I didn't even see the
damn thing. All I did was I see someone leave,
and I'm the next person in line. So I'm just
gonna walk up to the If it's self checkout, it's
self checkout.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I don't want to limit on how many.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I understand when it used to be like there was
only two self checkouts, and you want to be able
to get in and out faster, you had the express
lane where someone's actually working, when you ain't got a damn.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Soul working at the grocery store. How about this. I
don't give a shit how many groceries I have. I'm
just gonna use the one that is first open.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
But the fact that you're gonna waste my freaking time
to come over and cancel out my damn transaction and
asked me to get.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Back in line is absolutely absurd.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
It's absurd, like maybe instead of supervising the self checkout,
how about you get your ass on a register and
start checking out some groceries. Then we won't have this
freaking problem. Ah, I'm I'm just trying to hear to
get a birthday cake, a birthday.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Card, some icing it's a birthday.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
And some cherries to put top on top of the
cake because he wanted a cherry cake.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
And you don't have cherry flavored cake.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You got strawberry, you got angel cake, you got chocolate,
but you ain't got nothing with cherry. So I'm just
gonna stick these cherries on top of the fucking cake
and we're gonna have a cherry cake.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Did you count my knuckles sandwich as part of the
twenty items? Yeah? Did you see these two balls?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
And this bad It's gonna slap you across the face because, oh, sorry,
I have more than ten items. I waited in line
for six minutes. I'm sorry. You have a little sign
about the size of a playing card on top that
says ten items or less that needs to be eliminated.
Open a fucking register and let me get out of here,
(24:12):
I don't need to go.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Back in line.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Did you count the tea bags?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
So I took my three things a mush, put them
back in my little green basket that I was carrying,
and went back in line and waited for another register
to open, and I had to start the whole damn
process over again.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Did we do an intro to the show? I don't know,
getting old? We're getting old? Hey, you know what, we
need to go back to the beginning and do a
damn intro and start the show right, I mean, you
want to talk about so.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
And then here's the most annoying part grocery stories is
I got two balloons. I got one the big number five,
and then I got one with a soccer ball, a basketball,
a baseball, a golf ball, and a tennis ball. And
it says happy bird they to you or something like that. Well,
I need someone to blow them up, right, And so
(25:06):
I asked, mister guy, that's uh, do you blow Nope? Nope.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I finished checking out, and the guy supervising the self checkout,
the guy that made me get.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Back in line.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm gonna tell you what he looked like, Dwight Shrut
from the freaking office that's exactly what he looked like,
same hair, same everything.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
That's the kind of guys you need in the community though.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
And I said, hey, man, can you get me someone
over there to blow up the balloons? He was like, oh, actually,
if now that you're done checking out, you can just
head over to customer service and they'll call someone for you.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
No, why don't you call something? So you're telling me,
Dwight Shrute that I you can't pick up the phone
and say can we get help to the florals?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Someone needs help blowing up balloons? Like, what is your
job exactly? You are here to supervise the self checkout.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
So you're just a self checkout. I was gonna say
something else, police officer. You don't do the old phone
call is at the next hierarchy, call it put it
up the flag, Like what is your point of suit?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
So I have to take an extra step instead of
you just getting on the phone and calling I have
to go to a different counter, wait behind two more
people that are having issues or looking for something or
need something at customer service and they'll call someone over.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
To blow with the balluns. Yeah, that's right, sir, it's
just right over there. No, I know where customer service is,
but your phone is three inches from your damn hand.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Pass the buck. Do you want a bonus grocery store stories? See,
I would love one, dude. At mine, they actually have
those self checkouts, But as you're self checking out, a
lady will come and get in front of you and
start checking your stuff out. Guys, guys, guys, why don't
(26:49):
you just have check her out or things like they
used to have in the eighties where we all just
go and we give you our groceries. So then she's
been over swiping my stuff in front of me, turns
around high their paper, plastic plastic, just right there as
I'm behind her, and she's in front of me bent
over scanning. Dude. How inefficient is this, Sally the scanner?
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Just open a register, Just get on number four and
say turn your light on and say I'm open down here,
instead of getting your ass right in my crotch, dude.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
And then she turns around, Uh, card or cash? Well,
I can enter that. I'm aware of how to run
these little machines because guess what, guys, We've been running
the payment machine and the scanning for the past five years,
so we know how to probably scan faster than you guys,
So then I have to give her my card over
her shoulder and she scans it. You're all set. Oh great,
I've been behind you the whole time. I didn't even
(27:40):
know what you were scanning.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
How inefficient is that.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
The grocery store has become the most inefficient place in
the world. It's unbelievable how we have dumb things.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Down and made it impossible to get out of there
so easily, Like, why do we make it so hard?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And then you got one's the card, only one's cash.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
No cash back? No, I mean, it's a nightmare. We
better start the show man.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
That was grocery Stories. We're gonna do a live we
oh the one, two, three sore losers?
Speaker 3 (28:17):
What up, everybody? I am lunchbox.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I know the most about sports, so I'll give you
the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much
a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
It says it. I'm from the North. Arnold is off
today because of Armageddon. Excuse me, snow mcgeddon, And I'm
from the North, as I already said, I live in
the North. As I already said, we do have two
acres we lost a little bit to erosion after the rain.
We now have two point one five acres. We live
north of town, basers snowed in. I hope to get
(28:47):
there sometime today. Brother said it was a hell of
a drive in. I stayed the night in a hotel.
Over to you, man, Man, Yeah, we're worn out. We're
gonna take a break right back. Yeah, yeah, go ahead
and hit that death music. Man, is this deathly enough? Yeah?
I just don't want to get pulled.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
It is dark times on the planes of Kansas, Oh Lawrence, Kansas,
to be exact right. We lost to Utah on Saturday night,
and I'm like, okay, we play BYU next and we
are gonna be staying out there in Utah. We're gonna
(29:30):
have a time. We're gonna figure this out this one.
We're gonna come and blow the doors off someone. We're
gonna come out angry and with a vengeance.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
It's between you and God and Kansas. Ray.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I got a text. I didn't even know the game
had started yet.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
I thought the game started at eight thirty, and I
guess it started at eight I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
And I get a.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Text for my buddy Chris, who I don't hear from
that often. He only likes to text when bad shit's
going on to your favorite team. He's not there when
your team's doing good and tell you hey, mayor team's
looking good. Only once a year he'll text what's wrong
with this? Or what's wrong with your Cubbies or what's
wrong with your Spurs?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
And i's wrong with your marriage, Chris, that's a great point.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
And I get a text and he's like, what is
wrong with your Jayhawks?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
And I'm like, I don't know. I'm in the middle
of reading stories.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I don't know what you're talking about. And then the
B said, I'm Charlotte, this is my web Well the
B said, buz hell does Chris One.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And I'm like, I'm like, dude, We're unathletic. We're not
very good. I mean, but we played BYU tonight, so
maybe we'll get back on the right track. Little did
I know the game was already on. So I go
into the living room and I turn on the TV
and it's already halftime, Kansas twenty six BYU forty six.
(30:59):
And I was like, what the fuck, Like, there's no
way that's right. So I pull out my phone and
I go to ESPN dot com and I look and
they also have the score Kansas twenty six b Yu
forty six.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
You thought it was incorrect.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I thought it was incorrect, The screen was wrong. Thought
something was wrong, And I'm like, how the hell are
we down twenty points at halftime?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
To be why you.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
We were the number one team in the country to
start this season, and come this Sunday we will be unranked.
So I'm sitting there, going we're down twenty. We're about
to see an epic, epic Kansas comeback in this second half.
(31:56):
We are going to be diving all over that floor.
We're going to be full court press, and there's gonna
be all out effort and I'm gonna I'm gonna see
hustle like I've never seen before out of the Kansas Jayhawks.
And what did I watch? Two out of the first
three possessions we had the ball in the second half,
I watched unathletic, slow as a sloth, soft as fucking
(32:23):
Charman hunter Dickinson pull up from three.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
He's trying to make it back. I'm like, what the
fuck are you doing? That guy can't even shoot a bunny.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
He can't even make a leg up, But all of
a sudden he is Steph fucking curry.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Ah, the homeless version of Steph.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
And I swear to god, I'm not joking. I tossed
the fucking channel changer in the air and let it
smack it down on the four.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah. Yeah, we get broken in. And I hear from downstairs, Dad,
what was that? Uh? Bug? I slapped it though.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I said, I dropped the channel changer?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
What crazy? How many pieces it breaks into it? You
only drop it? I said? And they said, and baby
Box says, what are you watching? Just blues clues? I said,
Kansas versus BYU. And he's like, oh, it's Kansas winning.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
No, they're down by twenty nine, dude, we hit Hunter
Dixon did hit one of the threes, but then he
thought he was a three point shooter. And then we
proceeded to shoot three after three after three, and you
know what we didn't do? Make three after three after three?
(33:42):
You know what BYU did? They made three after three
driving layup? Oh, drive past you, layup, drive past you floater?
Good God. I thought it couldn't get worse. They were
beating us by thirty seven fucking points. Thirty seven points
were I and I am just sitting there going I'm
(34:05):
done with this team, Like I have never been so
discouraged by a team. And I sat there and I
watched it, and I said, these guys hate each other.
Nobody on that team likes each other. I don't know
who hates you. I don't know if Dwan Harris hates
kJ Adams, if kJ Adams hates Hunter Dickinson, if AJ
(34:25):
Store hates Hunter Dickinson, if AJ Store hates k I
don't know who hates you. But there is a fracture
in the team. They absolutely hate each other. They hate
playing together. There is no chemistry. Nobody is having fun
BYU was just laughing and dancing and shitting all over
(34:48):
our faces. And I said, God, we're gonna be unranked.
I will tell you this. I don't turn off Kansas basketball.
I do not turn it off. Last night was seven
minutes and forty six seconds left on the clock. I said,
(35:12):
there's no point in watching this shit anymore. And I
turned off the game when we were down thirty seven
freaking points.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
I think it was thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I couldn't even do the math because we only had
like thirty eight points and they had like seventy something,
and so I was like, I'm out of here. I
don't need to watch this. And then I look at
a quote from Bill Self last night and he said, quote.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Not gonna get the better removed when you get beat.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yep, don't need to take down the manor he said,
he is exact quote. Let me pull it up for you, Ray,
because you're thinking they stayed in Utah since Saturday's bought
team bonding. They're gonna come together and they're gonna realize,
you know what this is us against the world.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Ray, was I wrong? Man?
Speaker 2 (36:04):
The Bill Self quote, he said, let me tell you self,
we need to get away from each other. I'll tell
you that point blank. Self said the trip did not
go as planned. He hoped it would be a bonding trip,
but it is not turned out.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Like that slapping ass in the shower.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Ku will get back to Lawrence at five am on
Wednesday morning. They won't see each other until Thursday. That
right there tells you he thought this was gonna be
the trip that united the team. There's been something wrong
all season. He thought this was the trip. Self said
the trip did not go as planned. He hoped it
(36:42):
would be a bonding trip. But it has it turned
out like that. AKA, they fucking hate each other.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
It's like every couple when they come home from vacations.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yes, the vacation is so great, it's gonna be so this,
this is the vacation we need to reconnect. This is
gonna get our relationship back on stable ground. And you
come back from the vacation and you file for divorce.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
This is what that is. Dude.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
It is over for this Kansas basketball team. We dude,
here's how good we were. We beat Duke. Duke is
damn good you did?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
We beat Duke, and now we are getting dick slapped
by a bunch of Mormon BYU people, two of the
guys of which are white, and they were just handed
it off white. The one with the headman was just
draining threes. Let me say this, there is nothing going
on in sports right now. And when I say that, repeat,
There is no gambling. There is no baseball, there's no basketball,
(37:38):
there is no football, there's no college football, there is
no hockey. There's really no golf. There is nothing right
now because Live is on their own tournament. I don't
even know how to watch. I don't even know how
the players are in it. You turn on a tournament
and it's Rory and Speeth and that's it, and everybody
else is on live. There's nothing for sports right now.
And I came into work. I have nothing right now
(37:59):
to live and I pull up my computer ESPN. Why
not just throw it on ESPN. I haven't looked at
this site in about five days, and it says a
colossal loss for the history and legacy of Kansas basketball.
And I said, that's dramatic. I scrolled out to the
score ninety one forty seven, and what I tell you,
(38:24):
I laughed at one am uncontrollably. I am not kidding.
I was like, this team is what I thought they were.
And I was so brought in by the headline. I
hit play on a two minute highlight clip and laughed
(38:45):
my ass off. Dude, you guys were down twelve nothing,
then he got closer than You're down thirty to fifteen.
Then you're down like sixty to ten. They're just launching
threes over you guys. Head the guy with the headband,
he looks like fucking Steph Curry from nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Dude, who is this guy? Just he's better than coober flag.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I'll tell you that the best part of the highlight
was this one white guy is about to take a
wide open three and he goes, na, man, you take
a dog. And then here goes headband, another white guy,
wide open three train. No, they were deciding which white
guy can shoot there because they're all open. I was
laughing my ass off at one am. Dude. Oh, that's
(39:33):
a hell of a team to bring me to tears
at one am. And I did see Dickinson wandering around
like he was fucking lost. Dude. He made a couple
of the clips and he didn't even know what he
was doing out there.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Ude, put his ass on the bench.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Give me an athlete, Give me someone that can run,
because all teams do his freaking run as fast as
they came down the court, and he can't get back
in time.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
He is so slow. And here's how sad it was.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
With fourteen minutes left in the game, Bill self called
his final timeout.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
He called his final timeout with fourteen minutes left. Me
right the ship, dude, Dude, I can't believe we didn't
just pull the red shirt off all of our red
shirt players that you guys play or don't put the
starters back in.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Just put the bench guys in and see if something happens.
I don't know, but I didn't even know the final
damn score, ninety one to forty seven.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I could be sensational.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
That sounds about right.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
God it said, colossal historical loss in the longest legacy
of Kansas basketball happened on this here night.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Oh so don't worry. I got a test him.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Chris that said, let me see what he said later.
I mean this guy that doesn't I mean, he's a
Texas fan, so he has nothing to cheer about with
their basketball team.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They suck. And he said, you can't spell blow out
without BYU. I'm like, okay, that's so funny, so original,
And so I went to the Facebook page. Man, I
just want I wanted to. I just want to do it.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
I said, welfare check on all the Jayhawks in here.
This is a safe space, so feel free to be emotional.
KA so painful to watch. Jeremy Griffith just so sad,
zero heart landing Blackburn. This team is hard to watch.
I had to turn it off. Jesse Ebara, n t bound,
(41:36):
Travis Cohen, zero heart with this team. Seeing BYU guys
doing diving for loose balls up by almost forty while
Ku just stands there as just crazy. Get this season
over with already and press the reset button, ready for
his diggings in to be done. Most unathletic seven footer
I have ever seen. He runs, dude, He runs like
(41:59):
Akay and Caraway.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Collaway responds and goes, how does the lesbian run at?
Travis replies like Hunter Dickinson asking for a friend.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Matthew Lemons, Now, k you fans are right here with us,
unc fans. Brandon Hill. I think Memphis and Kansas should
go head to head for who is the biggest disappointment
this season?
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Brandon Hill, he loves his time.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
He does, he does Rosanna, I am not well. Brandon
woods put puts a freaking meme of Duke, we kicked
your ass. Shut up, Kobe Fassenberger, Dewan, kJ and Hunter
are the problem, not all on Bill's self.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
And then that was about it. I mean that just
goes on and on.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I mean it was just awful, dude. It was a
lot of KU backers in the page though, Yeah, a
lot of them. And we are not well. We're not well.
Good news is I don't have to pick and win
it all when March comes, because they might not even
make the damn tournament.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Please just make the tournament?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Is that serious?
Speaker 3 (43:07):
Serious?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
We still have We still have Houston left on our schedule.
I think we got Arizona let on our schedule. You
guys are either a state or someone left on our schedule.
You always aren't gonna make. We got Tech, we got
freaking Houston and maybe Arizona. That's three ranked teams. We
ain't winning a damn one of those games. Dude, They're
not gonna let you across the Texas border. You're gonna
be accused of.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
We'll take a break, we'll right back. Oh my gosh, dude,
I ain't got nothing else. No, I have something.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
I gotta read an email and you tell me here
it goes lunch. I don't understand why all the hatred
for TGL. Watching Tiger screw his Jupiter team week after
week because of his poor play and being on the
wrong side of forty is what I assume your Rex
soccer team deals with on a weekly basis. Embrace the chaos,
(44:02):
my man, Joe from Sarasota not fun, I mean, Joe,
I can't watch that crap. It's so terrible. It is
so terrible. Here's another one. Let me see where it is, Okay, Hi, boys,
absolutely love the podcast. Longtime listener here in Australia. I'm
going to be in Nashville next week and I'd love
nothing more to meet you guys and be on the
(44:23):
podcast on Wednesday to twenty six.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Happy to do whatever I need to make it happen
once in a lifetime trip and opportunity. So hoping you
might be able to make it work. Troy from Australia.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
As long as you take care of us when we
come to Australia.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah, his name, he's a general manager in content and
commercial something. And he hit me up on Facebook a
month ago and I never responded. So Troy, I apologize.
We would love to have you on the pod next Wednesday, right.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
I mean, good luck get him in the building. There's
the downstairs that you have to get him past. Then
there's our door and I gator. Somebody comes by here
and we have an unattended guest, somebody that isn't credentialed.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Hey, Troy, we're gonna get you in next Wednesday. You
can be on the pod because we're nice guys like that,
and maybe you can help me out. Maybe Kansas is
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Let's go home.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I just want to read that email because we got
to get him on. Yes, Troy is a go have
a safe flight.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Oh yeah, bones, this is true. Troy's a college basketball player.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
I think we had BYU right where we wanted them to.
We just ran out of time. We were about to
come back.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Can I tell a story, yeah, off, Mike about passing
the buck? Yeah, did you see the puddle by the bathroom.
No puddle is like the whole freaking walkway was covered water.
I went downstairs to the front desk at the address
that building, Yeah, and I go, hey, guys, this is
a video of this leak that's happening. I told an
exact location. Here's a stairwell. I took a picture and
(45:54):
I go, yeah, probably just ten towels, bring them up
there and you get all taken care of. That was
nine hours ago. So were they then thinking to just
pass the buck to our maintenance staff or our cleaning lady? Anna, Yeah,
I don't think it didn't come in today, So then
who does the bucket pass to because now there's still
a puddle sitting right next to the sales floor. If
they have any client, they're gonna slip break their neck.
(46:15):
Call Osha and sue us to the fucking ground.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Rosanna said, do you think we'll make the tournament? This
is the first time I've ever been worried we may
be not in it. We beat duke Man, we gotta
make it. Yeah, but that's passing the buck I can't
believe it made you laugh that much. No, no, And
I was like, Okay, I don't want to read anything
about Kansas, so I go to cbssports dot com. First
(46:41):
thing on there Kansas basketball hits rock Bottom. Okay, all right,
let's just not look at sports for the rest of
the day.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
A rocky bottom for rock chok Oh, it's gotten rocky
for rock Chalk. Oh that's a good one, man, thanks,
just pour it on. Rock Chalk finds rock Bottom. That's
another good one. I haven't seen that one yet. So
depressing the ESPN though they got me with the colossal
and historical. It's like, holy shit, what happened? Scroll down?
Oh my gosh, I thought like some Kansas guy like
(47:10):
did the first ever j Bird, uh triple double or something.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
I don't even want to call my dad today because
usually I call him after Kansas game to talk about
I don't even he's just gonna be like, I don't know,
mass pretty pathetic, it's pretty sad.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
It's pretty sad. So we'll say, all right, we're going home.
I buzzed it. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go clean up
that puddle.
Hosts And Creators
Lunchbox
Raymundo
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