January 27, 2025 • 34 mins
Dr Wendy is offering her Wendy wisdom with her drive by makeshift relationship advice. PLUS we are talking to Emily O'Brien, a Raleigh-based writer and editor and the author of Things I Heard While Dating, a compilation book that dives into the quirky, cringe-worthy and often hilarious world of romantic dialogues. It's all on KFIAM-640!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf
I Am six forty, the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on
demand on the iHeartRadio app k I AM six forty.
You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the
Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show. I am taking your calls. If
you'd like to call in, the number is one eight
hundred five two zero one five three four. If you're
too shy, just send me a DM on Instagram at
(00:22):
doctor Wendy Walsh. I'll keep your identity anonymous. Okay, I
think we have a talkback somebody recorded We're old you
got that? Go ahead. Hi, my name is Sarah. I
lost the phone number because I'm driving anyway. I wanted
to know a couple questions. So you're talking about relationships.
(00:45):
How about for the people that are a little bit
older sixty plus? What would you suggest? Okay, So if
you do forget the phone number, you know you can
always go on the iHeartRadio app like Sarah did, and
there's a talk back button and you can just record
you a question. So Sarah, it doesn't matter. All the
rules of engagement are the same, and the good news
(01:08):
is The fastest growing group of people on dating apps
are people over the age of fifty. And the wonderful
thing about dating apps is that you put your age.
Don't lie. People don't like them when people lie about
their age, and they will search for you. Only a
small minority of men actually always want to go young.
Lots of people just want a best friend. My husband
is a little older than me. We met in our
(01:29):
fifties and he was searching for a peer a friend. Right,
you don't have to put the sexy pictures on the
app if you're over sixty, put attractive pictures, some full
length of you doing the things you do in your
life to show them who you are. But the other
important thing is older people especially think like the first
(01:51):
get together. The first meeting should be an exciting, romantic
date with a total stranger off an app. No, have
a phone call first, and then if you like what
you hear on the phone, then get together for a
short coffee date and then after that have the first date.
Don't rush into big, high expectations. That is not the
(02:13):
thing to do, all right, And while I was on Instagram,
somebody posted a question I thought very interesting. He said
that he is from a wealthy family. He's engaged to
a woman who comes from a low income family, and
he's wondering what problems they're going to have. Well, you know,
the obvious problem that people think of right away is, oh,
(02:34):
my god, she's marrying him for his money. I hope. So.
I mean, all women are gold diggers in some way.
If you want to protect your wealth and your money,
make sure you have a pre nap. But keep in
mind that if a woman's going to take decades off
her life to our career to have children, she deserves
to be compensated for that. I remember talking to a
family attorney one time, and he said, the best thing
(02:54):
people should do is that anytime any partner of any
gender stays home, they should be paid a salary every week,
so they're paid for their time. Wouldn't that be great
if it worked out that way. The bigger the other
difference that can happen is just a difference in values,
right you know, we all have a kind of financial psychology,
(03:16):
psychology of money, and some people are very frugal and
they might be upset if you're spending a lot of money.
Sometimes it's the wealthy side that's the most frugal. It's like,
we won't spend that, and that's why you're wealthy because
you saved really well. Other people believe like I deserve it,
so let me have it, right. So it's about figuring
out what someone's value is. And then there's other stuff.
(03:36):
I hate to put money on this one because you
can be really wealthy and have no taste. I'm sorry,
I mean no decorative taste, no taste when it comes
to certain things. And then there are people who may
have low income but high education. If I read somewhere
actually that that is the target market of Trader Joe's.
That when they first launched, they deliberately put themselves like
(03:58):
near universities and simies, and they wanted to get people
who played violin in a symphony or taught at a
small college and we're really smart and world traveled and
had taste, but not a lot of income. I was like,
oh yeah, So it's about talking about all these things
before they come up in a big way. It's about
(04:19):
having different values, right, all right, let me move on
to my DMS. Here here we go, Hey, doctor Wendy.
I was dating a guy and we got into a
fight where I showed my ugly side a little too early.
I don't think you're ever supposed to show your ugly set.
I think you mean you got a little too authentic
(04:40):
with your anger. He seems to have demoted me to
a booty call. I don't show up to the late
night calls, but I want to get back to our
romantic dates. Is there a way to do this? You know,
whenever there's conflict in a relationship, talking about commenting on
it is the most important thing. There's not some manipul
relative strategy. It's you calling him and saying and getting
(05:03):
him on the phone, not text on the phone and saying, hey,
I'm really sorry that I got angry in that way
and showed you a side of myself that I'm not
really proud of. We're not close enough for me to
ever have been that intimate with you. On the other hand,
I feel like since that you've been, you know, more
(05:24):
enjoying the fruits of my body without getting really close
to me emotionally. So what should we do about this?
Leave it open ended, like how should we handle this?
And see what he says. I love the word the
question how, especially for male brains, because it puts them
out of their emotional brain and into their prefrontal cortex
to problem solve. So how should we solve this is
(05:45):
always a good question because you're in it together and
maybe you learn something, right, I know, we all have
tender spots, and we have to be able to control
ourselves just at the beginning, until there's enough to tack,
until there's enough security and attachment and there's enough intimacy. Right,
(06:06):
I'm sorry that happened to you, Dear doctor Wendy. Should
I ask about my future partner's past relationships? Well, I
have to tell you something that that is the number
one conversation that most dating couples talk about, right, the
relationship they just got out of, what their longest relationship was. Now,
(06:29):
there's a way to have this conversation without totally blaming
your ex for everything. To show that one has emotional intelligence.
They would talk about their peace in it as well, like,
you know, we weren't compatible because I was more like
this and she was more like that. That's a healthy
way to describe it, right. But yeah, you have absolutely
(06:50):
every right because by the time they got to you,
they had been trained by a lot of people who
impacted their idea of love starting with their parents in
early life and then their teenage relationships.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
One of the books I wrote is called The Boyfriend,
asked how to evaluate his potential before you lose your heart,
And one of the questions was, what's the length of
his longest relationship? You know? And if somebody's got to
like the age of thirty and they haven't had a
one year relationship, you got a question, do they have
the ability to stick it out? Right? So these are
(07:28):
important questions that you should ask in a relationship. Dear
doctor Wendy, I met a man at rals who told
me I was stunning. Well, that's nice. We've been having
great text conversations. I hate that. But he won't initiate
an in person date, should I? Or does this mean
he's not really interested in me? No? Okay, So here's
(07:52):
the thing. In heterosexual relationships. Women should not you know,
sperm chases egg and not the reverse. Women should not
be chasing men. But women should issue an invitation. And
you've done that by responding to his texts and being available.
And I'm sure you've said polite, flirty things on those texts. Right,
(08:13):
He's had the invitation. He hasn't made the move. It
is not your job to chase him down. Now, not
your job. Let this one go. Dear doctor Wendy, my
girlfriend of one year sent me a positive pregnancy test
(08:34):
that she got off Google. How do you know she
got off Google? Oh? I know she got it off Google.
I should keep reading and then I'll know the answer.
I know. I know she got off Google because I
reverse google searched it. The tangled webs we weave and technology.
It is odd. Is this a deal breaker for a relationship?
(08:55):
Or should I ask more about it? I'm turned off
by her. Look, everybody has their own threshold for what
is a deal breaker. But this kind of lies about
life and death, kind of lies. No, this is a
deal breaker. Okay, this is a deal breaker. This is awful.
(09:17):
She's trying to coerce you into marriage or spending money
using complete false pretenses. She's betraying your trust. I don't
think it can be fixed from here. Oh my goodness,
that's terrible, Dear doctor Wendy. I was on a first
(09:38):
date with a woman and she joked about my features
and my dad bought Oh guys, I'm so sorry. I
liked her, but this is distasteful. Should I give her
another chance? I mean, you could have a conversation and say, hey,
I just tell her your feelings. I didn't like what
(09:59):
you said, call me the I had a dad bought.
If you're into me, yeah great, But if not, like chick,
move on. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry.
I'm just telling you move on. I think there are
other women out there who will be better for you.
And while I'm giving guys advice when we come back,
there's a trend on social media where men are finally
(10:21):
decorating their bedrooms very lovely. If you want to see
some great examples, just google around and you'll see. Let's
talk about the common things that we find in men's
bedroom and how they could do a little better. You're
listening to the Dr Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty we Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI
AM six forty, Live Everywhere at the iHeartRadio app. On
the iHeartRadio App, I'm here I'm at the iHeartRadio studio now,
but you can listen to me on the iHeartRadio up there.
I got it out. So there's this trend online about
men learning to actually decorate their apartments better, and if
(11:12):
you're a single guy, you might want to start seeing
what they're doing. Honestly, it's like, for the first time
in history, men are suddenly caring about their environment. Maybe
because they're inviting ladies over, maybe because they want to
be comfortable themselves. Maybe they're actually buying some decorator magazines.
So if you're not one of those men, which are
(11:33):
the minority, I will say that there are some things
about men's bedrooms that are very different from women's bedrooms.
Before I get into it, I do want to tell
a story. Years ago, I was on a TV set
and you know, in between the shots and the takes,
it was some you know, talk show or whatever. The
(11:54):
guys work in the cameras and the floor director were
just chatting and I overheard one guy say to another, Oh,
I'm so excited about tonight I got a date with
this girl. And you know, my ear perks up because
I expect he's going to talk about how hot she
is how he might be able to take her to bed,
(12:17):
but no, you know what he said next? He said,
I hope I get to sleep over. I love to
sleep in a girl bed. It's so cozy and they
always have the best blankets and the fluffiest pillows. And
the other guy goes, yeah, dude, I know what you mean.
Girl rooms are great to sleep in. And I'm thinking,
am I really hearing this right now? So back in
(12:39):
the day when I got to trapes through a lot
of men's bedrooms saying I've had some life experience. You know.
One time I bought a piece of art from an
artist he went on to become a very famous I
was a young woman, he was a young artist. We
only talked to each other by phone, and he shipped it.
He was in San Francisco, this beautiful piece of art,
and he's like, well, where are you going to display
(13:00):
my art? And he was hoping I was going to say,
in a museum, a lobby of my office, at least
my living room, And I said, just my bedroom and
he goes, oh, And I said, don't worry, dude, I
get a lot of traffic in my bedroom. Your art
will be seen anyway. His name is Eric Zeener. I
(13:21):
recently contacted him on Instagram. His paintings are worth like
fifty sixty thousand dollars. Now, I did not pay that.
I paid for in the hundreds. And I showed a
picture of the painting he'd made for me thirty years ago,
and I said, you know, at one point it ended
up in a family room and a kid threw a
piece of plastic toast, you know, like them from their
(13:42):
plastic kitchen, sir, and it sliced the canvas a little bit.
And he was so sweet on Instagram. He said, look,
if you can get He gave me the name of
someone who restores paintings, and he goesaid, I'll do the
touch up painting on it, because I remember that painting
so much. I didn't ask him if you remembered my
line about all the traffic in my bedroom. Didn't ask
(14:03):
him that anyway. The biggest thing I noticed way back
when when I traped through men's bedroom was a lack
of complete decorative esthetic at all. When they do decorate,
it fears that men like sports memorabilia, the middle aged
playboys like old modeling books, the old modland picture. I
(14:26):
don't know posters and models look for most men, though,
the bedroom is a utilian, utilitarian place, right, So in
a women's bedroom, you are going to find comfort, right,
You're going to find high quality sheets in cotton, not chemicals.
(14:47):
I was actually sleeping in an airbnb recently and the
room was very dark, and when I turned over at
night in the bed, I was like, is my apple
watch on? Why am I seeing this light? And I
opened my eyes. It was sparks from the s sheets.
They were so full of chemicals that the static electricity
when I would turn over at night, the sheets would
light up were sparked. Guys, don't buy those cheap sheets, please,
(15:09):
cotton linen one hundred okay. And the guys often have
sheets that are brown and navy blue. No, no, that's
poopy color. You don't want that in the bed. Okay.
Here's what women hate, dudes. We hate completely mismass furniture.
I know, sometimes your bedroom's got like one of your
grandmother's antiques because it was a hand me down, maybe
(15:31):
something from your boyhood bedroom, something on sale from Target
but not part of the Target. Actually is a great
place lately to decorate, but it doesn't match what you
have going on. It wasn't thoughtfully executed. Okay. So women
tend to be much more intentional about their rooms, and
they tend to care about comfort. So, dudes, I have
(15:53):
just a little bit of advice for you if you
are thinking of making a man cave that might attract
a woman. Number one, I've already mentioned it only by
natural fibers. Lady skins cannot handle those chemical sheets, just sing.
Number two, add more pillows to your bed. Seeing two lonely,
forlorn flat pillows is not an invitation to dive into
(16:17):
your bed. I'm going to say this about your smelly
laundry basket. Get it out of the bedroom. I don't care.
Put it in the closet, put it in the bathroom,
and please make sure it has a lid on it.
We have a much more highly attuned old factory response,
and we can smell things that you can't. And in general, gentlemen,
(16:37):
please buy lighter colors. Heavy dark wood might be masculine,
but it feels like a cave to us. Recently, I
was touring an apartment in New York with a friend
of mine who was moving in with her longtime boyfriend.
And as she toured me. Everything she kept saying is
I know it's brown. This brown thing's going to go.
(16:58):
I know this brown piece of furniture is going to go. Oh,
this is too dark. We're going to fix that, right,
Like she knew that women like things light and bright
as much as possible. So guys catch with the trend.
Look on social media. Lots of guys are doing it.
They're learning how to make masculine yet fashionable and decorative rooms.
(17:18):
And this is actually attracting women. All right, speaking of
what else not to do when we come back, But
when we come back, I have a wonderful author who
has written a light Okay, it's light, it's humorous. We're
not putting you down. Guys. A book called Things I
Heard While Dating You would not believe some of the
(17:40):
things women wrote to her that they had heard men
say on dates. When we come back. You were listening
to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six
forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Why Show on KFI
AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. My
next guest blew me away with an email. It was
an email because it was so well constructed that I
knew she would be an excellent Guessie, I'm putting her
on the spot before she even knows. My next Guest
(18:18):
is an author based in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is
a writer and editor of the book called The Things
I Heard While Dating. It is a book that looks
into the quirky, qwinge worthy, and often hilarious. We have
to have a sense of humor about this, folks, otherwise
it would be pure tragedy hilarious world of romantic dialogues. Hi,
(18:40):
Emily O'Brien, how are you.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'm good, how are you doing good?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So, first question, what prompted you to write this book?
Because your background is actually in journalism having to do
with all kinds of things from architecture to cooking and
now dating.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Right while that's an interesting story, I am actually out
of the dating realm right now. I'm twenty years into marriage.
But I remembered something strange and really out of the
blue one day that a date had said to me,
and I just could not stop laughing, like not just
at the line, but also it was a little bit
(19:21):
of a time capsule into who I was at that time.
And the line was, oh, so you just have more
hair on one side of your head, and I said, no,
that's just how I parton it, and I don't mind you.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I had a very sing I literally thought that you
had thin hair on one side and thick on another.
It didn't consider that a side part means you're pulling
some over to the other side.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Correct, yes, wow, wow. So I remembered that line and
it was just kind of an awkward moment that happened
in the date, and I just brushed it off because
I thought, I don't know if he is just in
awe of my hair for some reason and it was
nothing remarkable at all, or maybe trying to land a
(20:11):
bad joke. I mean, that would be the maybe best
case scenario. And then later I remembered something else a
different date had said to me, and I started asking
my girlfriends, do you have stories? Did anything weird happen
to you? And I did not expect to unlock such
a treasure trove of funny, cringe worthy and just puzzling
(20:35):
lines in general.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, before we get into it. I do want to
say that we love men, and men you are trying okay,
but some of you are bumbling around in the dating world.
And anyway, I will say that research has shown that
one of the best ways that a man can showcase
his most important trait, which is intelligence, is through humor,
(20:59):
and because of that, some men who aren't naturally funny,
will attempt it as a way to, you know, showcase
the humor. So this is lighthearted. We still love you men,
but let's get into it. Let's talk about some questionable
pickup lines before we get to the date. Anything you
(21:21):
heard that was interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Oh yes, I did you know questionable pickup lives. One
that was actually damped on a dating app was do
you have stinky feet? And the woman wrote back no,
and he genuinely was upset that she did not have
stinky feet. So I suppose that was definitely a flop.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
That was a fetish. I think that was a fetish
because one time, when I was young, a guy asked
me to specifically wear strappy shoes to the date, which, gentlemen,
if you're listening, not a good idea to tell women
what to wear before you've even met them. On a date,
but an he wanted strappy shoes. I got what he
(22:06):
where he was coming from. So I said, listen, dude,
if you're like got some foot fetish thing, I've got
bunions and pump bumps, and you're not going to be happy,
all right. And it was in the days where we
wore high heels every single day. Did you know, by
the way, Emily, when you start wearing sneakers and stop
wearing those high heels, all that goes away and your
feet get pretty again, just saying so anyway, he came up,
(22:30):
he said, oh no, no, I don't It's fine, you know,
just wear whatever you want on the date. So I
remember wearing clothes toed pumps. But while we were at
the restaurant, a woman in a slinky dress walked by
with strappy shoes, and he couldn't help himself turned to
me and said, oh my god, did you see your feet?
Don't they look great? As if I was going to
(22:52):
share in this joy with him? So yeah, oh no,
I didn't see him after that. I didn't see Hey,
it's okay, hey if he has a food fetish, But
I just didn't, you know, the first date just seemed
early to go there, all right? Any other pickup lines
you heard from women? I did.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
One woman submitted a line that said he said to
her pack your bags, let's go to Bali. And this
was on their first date after he showed up at
the wrong place and then confessed he had a drug
problem and was a practicing physician.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Oh yeah, that's a guy. You want to run off
to a foreign country with alone without any protection.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right, you know?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
One guy? Here's a pickup line I got from a guy.
It was actually a text from someone who I had
known previously in another incarnation of life. He was married,
I was married. Whatever. Instead of writing a text that said, hey,
you're single now and I'm single now and oh my god,
I've always dreamed to go out with you and it
(23:55):
would be so wonderful, he literally wrote, so my divorce
is fine, and I think you're kind of a little
bit interesting. Do you want to go out a little
bit interesting path? On that one too? Pass on that one.
What do you think is the best thing a guy
(24:16):
could say if they meet someone in the real world
and they want to do some kind of pickup line.
What is your advice from what you've heard ooh.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Honestly, I think just a regular conversation, like not try
to come up with something bizarre outlandish, and just talk
to someone. I know that sounds kind of old fashioned,
but I think that's probably the best.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Well, you know, I heard that flirting is back in
with jen Why they're trying to talk in public now.
They're not liking the dating apps, so I've been trying
to teach flirting techniques. My advice is, just find any
common interest, even if it's the weather, like, oh, it's
raining so hard. You know you are smart enough to
wear riinkcoat whatever, like anything that you share in common
(24:58):
in that moment. If you're both gay, the same airplane
going by, I don't know, but just you have to
establish rapport by having something in common from the beginning,
and you've got to search for it. I think that's
the best line. So when we come back, let us
get into the dates. The book is called Things I
(25:19):
Heard While Dating. The author is Emily O'Brien, and she's
got lots of fun stuff for us. When we come back.
You are listening to the Doctor Andy Walsh Show on
KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show and KFI
AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. We
are in the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
I am here every Sunday for you from seven to
nine pm. If you miss any part of the show,
you know you can always go to that iHeartRadio app.
It's always there. If you miss past shows, they're there.
(26:00):
I wanted to end the show with Emily O'Brien's book
Things I've Heard While Dating because I just thought it
was so adorable that we make light and this particular
show has been a lot of information for single people.
So if you're still single and you're still listening, here's
some things you probably shouldn't say. Okay, Emily, what are
(26:21):
some of the wildest things that women have told you
that men have said on dates? By the way, did
you interview men to find out weird things women say
on dates?
Speaker 2 (26:31):
You know, it's interesting all of the men that submitted
lines it was from what other men had said they
were in gay relationships. I didn't have I didn't have
any men submitting lines from women.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, because we don't have to talk. We just have
to smile and look pretty, all right, So what have
you got in the book? Things I heard while dating?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Well Abby and Lenexa, Kansas heard on her second date,
I find you being a vegetarian so sexy. I want
to eat at a mammy off your back.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Oh oh, so she is that technically vegetarian if he's
eating off her body, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
She heard it during their first makeout session, which caused
her to let out that uncomfortable giggle that most women
do and they don't know how to react, and she
said he seemed perfect in every other way, but she
just could not get past that line.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah, it sounds like it starts with that a mommy,
it gets a hannibal lecter. I mean it just moves
on to something dangerous. I don't know, all right, anything
else for us?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Yeah? LS in Riverhead, New York. She heard this line
on her first in person date after two video calls,
so she had kind of vetted him at first, and
he said after she was returning from the bathroom, he
said to her, Oh, I can't get you out of
my head. They just don't make women with birthing hips
like yours anymore.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I don't know if this is good or bad. I mean,
guys like curvy women now, but birthing hips.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Later, when she broke up with him, which is unclear
if it was the same night or just within a
short period of time, he said, I have money, if
that helps, as if it was an excuse for his behavior.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Although we do like men with money. I'll just say
that's always a good mating strategy is to showcase your
financial waste. Shall we say, I don't know birthing hips. Yeah,
one guy said to me once. I was a single
mom and I was out with my two little kids
at a museum and I ran into a guy who
had had a couple dates with back when I was single,
(28:47):
and he literally said to me, oh, you turned out
to be quite a breeder. It was just weird.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I don't know if he was complimenting me, if that
was a good thing a bad thing. Flirting with that
was just weird. All right, what else you got?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Cassandra heard in Colorado Springs after the date had ended,
so after the relationship ended, essentially, he said, you need
someone who can handle you. Oh my goodness, pretty harsh
at the time. Yeah, she said, you know, she felt
like that kind of She was never too much. Really,
(29:26):
when she really looked back at that line, it was
more that he wasn't enough with what she ended up
feeling at the end.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
So I remember guys used to say to me because
I was always a thinking woman, I didn't know that
I was smart, believe it or not. When I was
young and beautiful, I didn't know that I was as
smart as I am, and so I would be analyzing
whatever situation was up. And many a guy have said
to me, you think too much. And it was only
(29:55):
years later that I learned how to say, you know,
you actually don't think it enough for me, right, Like
they didn't like they were intimidated by my brain. But
at the time they insulted me by saying, like, stop thinking,
just be emotional and sexy. I guess I don't know
what it is. Is there anybody who went on a
(30:18):
date with somebody they said something awkward and then the
person went on to still marry them.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Ooh, not that I know of.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
That was in the book.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Though they got past it somehow, because I always wonder
like it was we had the weirdest icebreaker, but then
it all turned out fine in the end, because I
am of the the vein of give men a chance. Okay,
it's really hard. It's hard for them to step up,
it's hard for them to ask a woman out, it's
(30:50):
hard for them to showcase. But you know, I also
always say to guys, do you know what it costs
us to go on a date besides the hair, makeup, wardrobe, childcare, transportation,
and then to sit and smile for you all night
when we're thinking about that client we got to meet
with tomorrow and the big day ahead of us. Right,
it's work for us too, It's work for both people
doing kind of an Academy Award winning performance on a date.
(31:13):
All right, another one for us?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Another one would be this came in from an anonymous
contributor two months into their relationship. He said, not everyone
thinks you're beautiful, but I do.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Oohoo. You know what that goes in the category of
So there are certain ways that women can or that
men control women. Men who are insecure and they're afraid
of losing their partner, they either control them physically where
are you going? Who are you going to be with? No,
you can't go out with a guy without me that
you can't be friends with just guys you get you
that blah blah blah blah blah, right, or they control
(31:49):
them psychologically. Men are really good at making women feel
less than not all men, some men, some manipulative narcissists. Right,
So it's almost like you better stay with me because
you'll never get better. You're lucky that I happen to
think you're beautiful because your value on the mating marketplace
(32:09):
out there is low. And that's how you know. Narcissists
manipulate women. Right, all right, before we go, Emily, do
you have one more for us? Yes? I do.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
This one came in actually from a teen which gives
it a little bit of color as well. The line is,
if you're ever hot at my house, just know you
can take your shirt off and it's totally fine.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Now a teenage boy, a teenage boy should say that. Okay,
that sounds exactly like a tenth grader. Okay, if you
had told me the guy was forty one, I would
have been like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Pit second that said she thought he was being thoughtful
because it was summer, and then she she wives up
pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Well, Emily, thank you for joining us. Where can people
get the book? The book is called Things I Heard
Wild Dating. What can we get it?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
It's on a website, Yeah, Things I Heard While Dating
dot com or on Amazon on Amazon.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Emily O'Brien, what a lovely, cute book. And I hope
if you've been married for twenty years that after doing
all this research, you know it's time to stay married
and bonker down, because that's what it's like out there. Okay,
It's like she tested the water psychologically and went, you
know what, I'm going to work on things with my husband.
(33:36):
Thank you for joining us. My guest, Emily O'Brien, author
of Things I Heard Wild Dating, and that brings the
Doctor Wendy Wall Show to a close. I am with
you every Sunday from seven to nine pm. Hey, if
you haven't noticed, if you haven't been following me in
my social this is a good time to do it
because I'm back. I'm literally back back back. You know.
(33:56):
I went through that whole thing where I need to
take a social media break. It's not good for my
mental health. And I did like a year, I can
have more than a million followers and I could just
leave everyone hanging for my own mental health, which I
think is a good thing. But my New Year's resolution
was to get back. So if you haven't checked my
Instagram story today, there's a cute little video with me
(34:17):
and my husband Julio where I'm trying to teach him
what's bachelor to use. But anyway, we will beg follow
me if you haven't at Doctor Wendy Walsh Emily, great
to have you here. You've been listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh.
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six
(34:39):
forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf
I Am six forty, the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on
demand on the iHeartRadio app k I AM six forty.
You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the
Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show. I am taking your calls. If
you'd like to call in, the number is one eight
hundred five two zero one five three four. If you're
too shy, just send me a DM on Instagram at
(00:22):
doctor Wendy Walsh. I'll keep your identity anonymous. Okay, I
think we have a talkback somebody recorded We're old you
got that? Go ahead. Hi, my name is Sarah. I
lost the phone number because I'm driving anyway. I wanted
to know a couple questions. So you're talking about relationships.
(00:45):
How about for the people that are a little bit
older sixty plus? What would you suggest? Okay, So if
you do forget the phone number, you know you can
always go on the iHeartRadio app like Sarah did, and
there's a talk back button and you can just record
you a question. So Sarah, it doesn't matter. All the
rules of engagement are the same, and the good news
(01:08):
is The fastest growing group of people on dating apps
are people over the age of fifty. And the wonderful
thing about dating apps is that you put your age.
Don't lie. People don't like them when people lie about
their age, and they will search for you. Only a
small minority of men actually always want to go young.
Lots of people just want a best friend. My husband
is a little older than me. We met in our
(01:29):
fifties and he was searching for a peer a friend. Right,
you don't have to put the sexy pictures on the
app if you're over sixty, put attractive pictures, some full
length of you doing the things you do in your
life to show them who you are. But the other
important thing is older people especially think like the first
(01:51):
get together. The first meeting should be an exciting, romantic
date with a total stranger off an app. No, have
a phone call first, and then if you like what
you hear on the phone, then get together for a
short coffee date and then after that have the first date.
Don't rush into big, high expectations. That is not the
(02:13):
thing to do, all right, And while I was on Instagram,
somebody posted a question I thought very interesting. He said
that he is from a wealthy family. He's engaged to
a woman who comes from a low income family, and
he's wondering what problems they're going to have. Well, you know,
the obvious problem that people think of right away is, oh,
(02:34):
my god, she's marrying him for his money. I hope. So.
I mean, all women are gold diggers in some way.
If you want to protect your wealth and your money,
make sure you have a pre nap. But keep in
mind that if a woman's going to take decades off
her life to our career to have children, she deserves
to be compensated for that. I remember talking to a
family attorney one time, and he said, the best thing
(02:54):
people should do is that anytime any partner of any
gender stays home, they should be paid a salary every week,
so they're paid for their time. Wouldn't that be great
if it worked out that way. The bigger the other
difference that can happen is just a difference in values,
right you know, we all have a kind of financial psychology,
(03:16):
psychology of money, and some people are very frugal and
they might be upset if you're spending a lot of money.
Sometimes it's the wealthy side that's the most frugal. It's like,
we won't spend that, and that's why you're wealthy because
you saved really well. Other people believe like I deserve it,
so let me have it, right. So it's about figuring
out what someone's value is. And then there's other stuff.
(03:36):
I hate to put money on this one because you
can be really wealthy and have no taste. I'm sorry,
I mean no decorative taste, no taste when it comes
to certain things. And then there are people who may
have low income but high education. If I read somewhere
actually that that is the target market of Trader Joe's.
That when they first launched, they deliberately put themselves like
(03:58):
near universities and simies, and they wanted to get people
who played violin in a symphony or taught at a
small college and we're really smart and world traveled and
had taste, but not a lot of income. I was like,
oh yeah, So it's about talking about all these things
before they come up in a big way. It's about
(04:19):
having different values, right, all right, let me move on
to my DMS. Here here we go, Hey, doctor Wendy.
I was dating a guy and we got into a
fight where I showed my ugly side a little too early.
I don't think you're ever supposed to show your ugly set.
I think you mean you got a little too authentic
(04:40):
with your anger. He seems to have demoted me to
a booty call. I don't show up to the late
night calls, but I want to get back to our
romantic dates. Is there a way to do this? You know,
whenever there's conflict in a relationship, talking about commenting on
it is the most important thing. There's not some manipul
relative strategy. It's you calling him and saying and getting
(05:03):
him on the phone, not text on the phone and saying, hey,
I'm really sorry that I got angry in that way
and showed you a side of myself that I'm not
really proud of. We're not close enough for me to
ever have been that intimate with you. On the other hand,
I feel like since that you've been, you know, more
(05:24):
enjoying the fruits of my body without getting really close
to me emotionally. So what should we do about this?
Leave it open ended, like how should we handle this?
And see what he says. I love the word the
question how, especially for male brains, because it puts them
out of their emotional brain and into their prefrontal cortex
to problem solve. So how should we solve this is
(05:45):
always a good question because you're in it together and
maybe you learn something, right, I know, we all have
tender spots, and we have to be able to control
ourselves just at the beginning, until there's enough to tack,
until there's enough security and attachment and there's enough intimacy. Right,
(06:06):
I'm sorry that happened to you, Dear doctor Wendy. Should
I ask about my future partner's past relationships? Well, I
have to tell you something that that is the number
one conversation that most dating couples talk about, right, the
relationship they just got out of, what their longest relationship was. Now,
(06:29):
there's a way to have this conversation without totally blaming
your ex for everything. To show that one has emotional intelligence.
They would talk about their peace in it as well, like,
you know, we weren't compatible because I was more like
this and she was more like that. That's a healthy
way to describe it, right. But yeah, you have absolutely
(06:50):
every right because by the time they got to you,
they had been trained by a lot of people who
impacted their idea of love starting with their parents in
early life and then their teenage relationships.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
One of the books I wrote is called The Boyfriend,
asked how to evaluate his potential before you lose your heart,
And one of the questions was, what's the length of
his longest relationship? You know? And if somebody's got to
like the age of thirty and they haven't had a
one year relationship, you got a question, do they have
the ability to stick it out? Right? So these are
(07:28):
important questions that you should ask in a relationship. Dear
doctor Wendy, I met a man at rals who told
me I was stunning. Well, that's nice. We've been having
great text conversations. I hate that. But he won't initiate
an in person date, should I? Or does this mean
he's not really interested in me? No? Okay, So here's
(07:52):
the thing. In heterosexual relationships. Women should not you know,
sperm chases egg and not the reverse. Women should not
be chasing men. But women should issue an invitation. And
you've done that by responding to his texts and being available.
And I'm sure you've said polite, flirty things on those texts. Right,
(08:13):
He's had the invitation. He hasn't made the move. It
is not your job to chase him down. Now, not
your job. Let this one go. Dear doctor Wendy, my
girlfriend of one year sent me a positive pregnancy test
(08:34):
that she got off Google. How do you know she
got off Google? Oh? I know she got it off Google.
I should keep reading and then I'll know the answer.
I know. I know she got off Google because I
reverse google searched it. The tangled webs we weave and technology.
It is odd. Is this a deal breaker for a relationship?
(08:55):
Or should I ask more about it? I'm turned off
by her. Look, everybody has their own threshold for what
is a deal breaker. But this kind of lies about
life and death, kind of lies. No, this is a
deal breaker. Okay, this is a deal breaker. This is awful.
(09:17):
She's trying to coerce you into marriage or spending money
using complete false pretenses. She's betraying your trust. I don't
think it can be fixed from here. Oh my goodness,
that's terrible, Dear doctor Wendy. I was on a first
(09:38):
date with a woman and she joked about my features
and my dad bought Oh guys, I'm so sorry. I
liked her, but this is distasteful. Should I give her
another chance? I mean, you could have a conversation and say, hey,
I just tell her your feelings. I didn't like what
(09:59):
you said, call me the I had a dad bought.
If you're into me, yeah great, But if not, like chick,
move on. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry.
I'm just telling you move on. I think there are
other women out there who will be better for you.
And while I'm giving guys advice when we come back,
there's a trend on social media where men are finally
(10:21):
decorating their bedrooms very lovely. If you want to see
some great examples, just google around and you'll see. Let's
talk about the common things that we find in men's
bedroom and how they could do a little better. You're
listening to the Dr Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty we Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI
AM six forty, Live Everywhere at the iHeartRadio app. On
the iHeartRadio App, I'm here I'm at the iHeartRadio studio now,
but you can listen to me on the iHeartRadio up there.
I got it out. So there's this trend online about
men learning to actually decorate their apartments better, and if
(11:12):
you're a single guy, you might want to start seeing
what they're doing. Honestly, it's like, for the first time
in history, men are suddenly caring about their environment. Maybe
because they're inviting ladies over, maybe because they want to
be comfortable themselves. Maybe they're actually buying some decorator magazines.
So if you're not one of those men, which are
(11:33):
the minority, I will say that there are some things
about men's bedrooms that are very different from women's bedrooms.
Before I get into it, I do want to tell
a story. Years ago, I was on a TV set
and you know, in between the shots and the takes,
it was some you know, talk show or whatever. The
(11:54):
guys work in the cameras and the floor director were
just chatting and I overheard one guy say to another, Oh,
I'm so excited about tonight I got a date with
this girl. And you know, my ear perks up because
I expect he's going to talk about how hot she
is how he might be able to take her to bed,
(12:17):
but no, you know what he said next? He said,
I hope I get to sleep over. I love to
sleep in a girl bed. It's so cozy and they
always have the best blankets and the fluffiest pillows. And
the other guy goes, yeah, dude, I know what you mean.
Girl rooms are great to sleep in. And I'm thinking,
am I really hearing this right now? So back in
(12:39):
the day when I got to trapes through a lot
of men's bedrooms saying I've had some life experience. You know.
One time I bought a piece of art from an
artist he went on to become a very famous I
was a young woman, he was a young artist. We
only talked to each other by phone, and he shipped it.
He was in San Francisco, this beautiful piece of art,
and he's like, well, where are you going to display
(13:00):
my art? And he was hoping I was going to say,
in a museum, a lobby of my office, at least
my living room, And I said, just my bedroom and
he goes, oh, And I said, don't worry, dude, I
get a lot of traffic in my bedroom. Your art
will be seen anyway. His name is Eric Zeener. I
(13:21):
recently contacted him on Instagram. His paintings are worth like
fifty sixty thousand dollars. Now, I did not pay that.
I paid for in the hundreds. And I showed a
picture of the painting he'd made for me thirty years ago,
and I said, you know, at one point it ended
up in a family room and a kid threw a
piece of plastic toast, you know, like them from their
(13:42):
plastic kitchen, sir, and it sliced the canvas a little bit.
And he was so sweet on Instagram. He said, look,
if you can get He gave me the name of
someone who restores paintings, and he goesaid, I'll do the
touch up painting on it, because I remember that painting
so much. I didn't ask him if you remembered my
line about all the traffic in my bedroom. Didn't ask
(14:03):
him that anyway. The biggest thing I noticed way back
when when I traped through men's bedroom was a lack
of complete decorative esthetic at all. When they do decorate,
it fears that men like sports memorabilia, the middle aged
playboys like old modeling books, the old modland picture. I
(14:26):
don't know posters and models look for most men, though,
the bedroom is a utilian, utilitarian place, right, So in
a women's bedroom, you are going to find comfort, right,
You're going to find high quality sheets in cotton, not chemicals.
(14:47):
I was actually sleeping in an airbnb recently and the
room was very dark, and when I turned over at
night in the bed, I was like, is my apple
watch on? Why am I seeing this light? And I
opened my eyes. It was sparks from the s sheets.
They were so full of chemicals that the static electricity
when I would turn over at night, the sheets would
light up were sparked. Guys, don't buy those cheap sheets, please,
(15:09):
cotton linen one hundred okay. And the guys often have
sheets that are brown and navy blue. No, no, that's
poopy color. You don't want that in the bed. Okay.
Here's what women hate, dudes. We hate completely mismass furniture.
I know, sometimes your bedroom's got like one of your
grandmother's antiques because it was a hand me down, maybe
(15:31):
something from your boyhood bedroom, something on sale from Target
but not part of the Target. Actually is a great
place lately to decorate, but it doesn't match what you
have going on. It wasn't thoughtfully executed. Okay. So women
tend to be much more intentional about their rooms, and
they tend to care about comfort. So, dudes, I have
(15:53):
just a little bit of advice for you if you
are thinking of making a man cave that might attract
a woman. Number one, I've already mentioned it only by
natural fibers. Lady skins cannot handle those chemical sheets, just sing.
Number two, add more pillows to your bed. Seeing two lonely,
forlorn flat pillows is not an invitation to dive into
(16:17):
your bed. I'm going to say this about your smelly
laundry basket. Get it out of the bedroom. I don't care.
Put it in the closet, put it in the bathroom,
and please make sure it has a lid on it.
We have a much more highly attuned old factory response,
and we can smell things that you can't. And in general, gentlemen,
(16:37):
please buy lighter colors. Heavy dark wood might be masculine,
but it feels like a cave to us. Recently, I
was touring an apartment in New York with a friend
of mine who was moving in with her longtime boyfriend.
And as she toured me. Everything she kept saying is
I know it's brown. This brown thing's going to go.
(16:58):
I know this brown piece of furniture is going to go. Oh,
this is too dark. We're going to fix that, right,
Like she knew that women like things light and bright
as much as possible. So guys catch with the trend.
Look on social media. Lots of guys are doing it.
They're learning how to make masculine yet fashionable and decorative rooms.
(17:18):
And this is actually attracting women. All right, speaking of
what else not to do when we come back, But
when we come back, I have a wonderful author who
has written a light Okay, it's light, it's humorous. We're
not putting you down. Guys. A book called Things I
Heard While Dating You would not believe some of the
(17:40):
things women wrote to her that they had heard men
say on dates. When we come back. You were listening
to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six
forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Why Show on KFI
AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. My
next guest blew me away with an email. It was
an email because it was so well constructed that I
knew she would be an excellent Guessie, I'm putting her
on the spot before she even knows. My next Guest
(18:18):
is an author based in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is
a writer and editor of the book called The Things
I Heard While Dating. It is a book that looks
into the quirky, qwinge worthy, and often hilarious. We have
to have a sense of humor about this, folks, otherwise
it would be pure tragedy hilarious world of romantic dialogues. Hi,
(18:40):
Emily O'Brien, how are you.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'm good, how are you doing good?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So, first question, what prompted you to write this book?
Because your background is actually in journalism having to do
with all kinds of things from architecture to cooking and
now dating.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Right while that's an interesting story, I am actually out
of the dating realm right now. I'm twenty years into marriage.
But I remembered something strange and really out of the
blue one day that a date had said to me,
and I just could not stop laughing, like not just
at the line, but also it was a little bit
(19:21):
of a time capsule into who I was at that time.
And the line was, oh, so you just have more
hair on one side of your head, and I said, no,
that's just how I parton it, and I don't mind you.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I had a very sing I literally thought that you
had thin hair on one side and thick on another.
It didn't consider that a side part means you're pulling
some over to the other side.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Correct, yes, wow, wow. So I remembered that line and
it was just kind of an awkward moment that happened
in the date, and I just brushed it off because
I thought, I don't know if he is just in
awe of my hair for some reason and it was
nothing remarkable at all, or maybe trying to land a
(20:11):
bad joke. I mean, that would be the maybe best
case scenario. And then later I remembered something else a
different date had said to me, and I started asking
my girlfriends, do you have stories? Did anything weird happen
to you? And I did not expect to unlock such
a treasure trove of funny, cringe worthy and just puzzling
(20:35):
lines in general.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, before we get into it. I do want to
say that we love men, and men you are trying okay,
but some of you are bumbling around in the dating world.
And anyway, I will say that research has shown that
one of the best ways that a man can showcase
his most important trait, which is intelligence, is through humor,
(20:59):
and because of that, some men who aren't naturally funny,
will attempt it as a way to, you know, showcase
the humor. So this is lighthearted. We still love you men,
but let's get into it. Let's talk about some questionable
pickup lines before we get to the date. Anything you
(21:21):
heard that was interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Oh yes, I did you know questionable pickup lives. One
that was actually damped on a dating app was do
you have stinky feet? And the woman wrote back no,
and he genuinely was upset that she did not have
stinky feet. So I suppose that was definitely a flop.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
That was a fetish. I think that was a fetish
because one time, when I was young, a guy asked
me to specifically wear strappy shoes to the date, which, gentlemen,
if you're listening, not a good idea to tell women
what to wear before you've even met them. On a date,
but an he wanted strappy shoes. I got what he
(22:06):
where he was coming from. So I said, listen, dude,
if you're like got some foot fetish thing, I've got
bunions and pump bumps, and you're not going to be happy,
all right. And it was in the days where we
wore high heels every single day. Did you know, by
the way, Emily, when you start wearing sneakers and stop
wearing those high heels, all that goes away and your
feet get pretty again, just saying so anyway, he came up,
(22:30):
he said, oh no, no, I don't It's fine, you know,
just wear whatever you want on the date. So I
remember wearing clothes toed pumps. But while we were at
the restaurant, a woman in a slinky dress walked by
with strappy shoes, and he couldn't help himself turned to
me and said, oh my god, did you see your feet?
Don't they look great? As if I was going to
(22:52):
share in this joy with him? So yeah, oh no,
I didn't see him after that. I didn't see Hey,
it's okay, hey if he has a food fetish, But
I just didn't, you know, the first date just seemed
early to go there, all right? Any other pickup lines
you heard from women? I did.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
One woman submitted a line that said he said to
her pack your bags, let's go to Bali. And this
was on their first date after he showed up at
the wrong place and then confessed he had a drug
problem and was a practicing physician.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Oh yeah, that's a guy. You want to run off
to a foreign country with alone without any protection.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right, you know?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
One guy? Here's a pickup line I got from a guy.
It was actually a text from someone who I had
known previously in another incarnation of life. He was married,
I was married. Whatever. Instead of writing a text that said, hey,
you're single now and I'm single now and oh my god,
I've always dreamed to go out with you and it
(23:55):
would be so wonderful, he literally wrote, so my divorce
is fine, and I think you're kind of a little
bit interesting. Do you want to go out a little
bit interesting path? On that one too? Pass on that one.
What do you think is the best thing a guy
(24:16):
could say if they meet someone in the real world
and they want to do some kind of pickup line.
What is your advice from what you've heard ooh.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Honestly, I think just a regular conversation, like not try
to come up with something bizarre outlandish, and just talk
to someone. I know that sounds kind of old fashioned,
but I think that's probably the best.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Well, you know, I heard that flirting is back in
with jen Why they're trying to talk in public now.
They're not liking the dating apps, so I've been trying
to teach flirting techniques. My advice is, just find any
common interest, even if it's the weather, like, oh, it's
raining so hard. You know you are smart enough to
wear riinkcoat whatever, like anything that you share in common
(24:58):
in that moment. If you're both gay, the same airplane
going by, I don't know, but just you have to
establish rapport by having something in common from the beginning,
and you've got to search for it. I think that's
the best line. So when we come back, let us
get into the dates. The book is called Things I
(25:19):
Heard While Dating. The author is Emily O'Brien, and she's
got lots of fun stuff for us. When we come back.
You are listening to the Doctor Andy Walsh Show on
KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show and KFI
AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. We
are in the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
I am here every Sunday for you from seven to
nine pm. If you miss any part of the show,
you know you can always go to that iHeartRadio app.
It's always there. If you miss past shows, they're there.
(26:00):
I wanted to end the show with Emily O'Brien's book
Things I've Heard While Dating because I just thought it
was so adorable that we make light and this particular
show has been a lot of information for single people.
So if you're still single and you're still listening, here's
some things you probably shouldn't say. Okay, Emily, what are
(26:21):
some of the wildest things that women have told you
that men have said on dates? By the way, did
you interview men to find out weird things women say
on dates?
Speaker 2 (26:31):
You know, it's interesting all of the men that submitted
lines it was from what other men had said they
were in gay relationships. I didn't have I didn't have
any men submitting lines from women.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, because we don't have to talk. We just have
to smile and look pretty, all right, So what have
you got in the book? Things I heard while dating?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Well Abby and Lenexa, Kansas heard on her second date,
I find you being a vegetarian so sexy. I want
to eat at a mammy off your back.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Oh oh, so she is that technically vegetarian if he's
eating off her body, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
She heard it during their first makeout session, which caused
her to let out that uncomfortable giggle that most women
do and they don't know how to react, and she
said he seemed perfect in every other way, but she
just could not get past that line.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah, it sounds like it starts with that a mommy,
it gets a hannibal lecter. I mean it just moves
on to something dangerous. I don't know, all right, anything
else for us?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Yeah? LS in Riverhead, New York. She heard this line
on her first in person date after two video calls,
so she had kind of vetted him at first, and
he said after she was returning from the bathroom, he
said to her, Oh, I can't get you out of
my head. They just don't make women with birthing hips
like yours anymore.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I don't know if this is good or bad. I mean,
guys like curvy women now, but birthing hips.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Later, when she broke up with him, which is unclear
if it was the same night or just within a
short period of time, he said, I have money, if
that helps, as if it was an excuse for his behavior.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Although we do like men with money. I'll just say
that's always a good mating strategy is to showcase your
financial waste. Shall we say, I don't know birthing hips. Yeah,
one guy said to me once. I was a single
mom and I was out with my two little kids
at a museum and I ran into a guy who
had had a couple dates with back when I was single,
(28:47):
and he literally said to me, oh, you turned out
to be quite a breeder. It was just weird.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I don't know if he was complimenting me, if that
was a good thing a bad thing. Flirting with that
was just weird. All right, what else you got?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Cassandra heard in Colorado Springs after the date had ended,
so after the relationship ended, essentially, he said, you need
someone who can handle you. Oh my goodness, pretty harsh
at the time. Yeah, she said, you know, she felt
like that kind of She was never too much. Really,
(29:26):
when she really looked back at that line, it was
more that he wasn't enough with what she ended up
feeling at the end.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
So I remember guys used to say to me because
I was always a thinking woman, I didn't know that
I was smart, believe it or not. When I was
young and beautiful, I didn't know that I was as
smart as I am, and so I would be analyzing
whatever situation was up. And many a guy have said
to me, you think too much. And it was only
(29:55):
years later that I learned how to say, you know,
you actually don't think it enough for me, right, Like
they didn't like they were intimidated by my brain. But
at the time they insulted me by saying, like, stop thinking,
just be emotional and sexy. I guess I don't know
what it is. Is there anybody who went on a
(30:18):
date with somebody they said something awkward and then the
person went on to still marry them.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Ooh, not that I know of.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
That was in the book.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Though they got past it somehow, because I always wonder
like it was we had the weirdest icebreaker, but then
it all turned out fine in the end, because I
am of the the vein of give men a chance. Okay,
it's really hard. It's hard for them to step up,
it's hard for them to ask a woman out, it's
(30:50):
hard for them to showcase. But you know, I also
always say to guys, do you know what it costs
us to go on a date besides the hair, makeup, wardrobe, childcare, transportation,
and then to sit and smile for you all night
when we're thinking about that client we got to meet
with tomorrow and the big day ahead of us. Right,
it's work for us too, It's work for both people
doing kind of an Academy Award winning performance on a date.
(31:13):
All right, another one for us?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Another one would be this came in from an anonymous
contributor two months into their relationship. He said, not everyone
thinks you're beautiful, but I do.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Oohoo. You know what that goes in the category of
So there are certain ways that women can or that
men control women. Men who are insecure and they're afraid
of losing their partner, they either control them physically where
are you going? Who are you going to be with? No,
you can't go out with a guy without me that
you can't be friends with just guys you get you
that blah blah blah blah blah, right, or they control
(31:49):
them psychologically. Men are really good at making women feel
less than not all men, some men, some manipulative narcissists. Right,
So it's almost like you better stay with me because
you'll never get better. You're lucky that I happen to
think you're beautiful because your value on the mating marketplace
(32:09):
out there is low. And that's how you know. Narcissists
manipulate women. Right, all right, before we go, Emily, do
you have one more for us? Yes? I do.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
This one came in actually from a teen which gives
it a little bit of color as well. The line is,
if you're ever hot at my house, just know you
can take your shirt off and it's totally fine.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Now a teenage boy, a teenage boy should say that. Okay,
that sounds exactly like a tenth grader. Okay, if you
had told me the guy was forty one, I would
have been like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Pit second that said she thought he was being thoughtful
because it was summer, and then she she wives up
pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Well, Emily, thank you for joining us. Where can people
get the book? The book is called Things I Heard
Wild Dating. What can we get it?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
It's on a website, Yeah, Things I Heard While Dating
dot com or on Amazon on Amazon.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Emily O'Brien, what a lovely, cute book. And I hope
if you've been married for twenty years that after doing
all this research, you know it's time to stay married
and bonker down, because that's what it's like out there. Okay,
It's like she tested the water psychologically and went, you
know what, I'm going to work on things with my husband.
(33:36):
Thank you for joining us. My guest, Emily O'Brien, author
of Things I Heard Wild Dating, and that brings the
Doctor Wendy Wall Show to a close. I am with
you every Sunday from seven to nine pm. Hey, if
you haven't noticed, if you haven't been following me in
my social this is a good time to do it
because I'm back. I'm literally back back back. You know.
(33:56):
I went through that whole thing where I need to
take a social media break. It's not good for my
mental health. And I did like a year, I can
have more than a million followers and I could just
leave everyone hanging for my own mental health, which I
think is a good thing. But my New Year's resolution
was to get back. So if you haven't checked my
Instagram story today, there's a cute little video with me
(34:17):
and my husband Julio where I'm trying to teach him
what's bachelor to use. But anyway, we will beg follow
me if you haven't at Doctor Wendy Walsh Emily, great
to have you here. You've been listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh.
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six
(34:39):
forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
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