January 13, 2025 • 36 mins
Dr. Wendy is talking the historic LA fire. She is talking to Tammy Chatkin Newman who is a mother who liost her home then had to deal with illegal price gouging. TV Host from A&E network 'Sell This House' is talking survivor guilt, and her evacuation story. We are also talking to Dr. Anthony Reading about what this trauma does to the brain and best ways to handle it. It's all on KFIAM-640!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walsh Show. In the middle of the fires in Los Angeles.
We are going to move away from our regular content
(00:21):
where I love to talk about love, relationships and family,
something that's probably most important now than any other time.
But we must cover what is happening here in Los
Angeles as it matters by the minute. I want you
to stay with KFI because we continue to monitor what's
(00:41):
going on with the fires, the freeways, the relief efforts,
the firefighters. We are doing everything we can to bring
the information to you in the most urgent manner as
soon as it comes in. Producer Kayla. Are you with
us always? Doctor Wendy, Oh good, good to have you here.
How are you holding up.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm in a safe area, thankfully. But you know, prayers
for everybody affected an iHeart everybody near to our hearts,
so it's not necessarily an excel of relief because you
just feel bad for everybody that's going through it and
impacted absolutely.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
And you know, we're going to have some guests on
the show today, some who have lost their homes, lost everything,
Others whose home miraculously happen to survive and are experiencing
a kind of survivor's guilt, and many of us who
are spectators and experiencing a kind of vicarious trauma, a
(01:37):
kind of how can we help, what can we do
to bring you up to speed. There are still currently
four active wildfires burning in Los Angeles County, as reported
by the county today. They are driven by extreme winds
and weather conditions. Nearly forty thousand acres have burned. It's
estimated that more than twelve thousand structures have been damaged
(01:58):
or destroyed. At this hour, sixteen people have lost their lives,
and searches are continuing for others who are missing. To
put the size of this fire into context, if you
were to take the area of all four fires and
put them together, it's about sixty two square miles.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I looked this up because I have friends and family
all over the country and indeed in Canada, and they
were asking me, like, how big is what is this?
The square miles of the city of Miami is thirty
six square miles. Now, if you extended into Miami Dade,
we're talking about fifty six square miles. This fire so
far is sixty two square miles. This is not good
(02:47):
and it's continuing to not be great. Critical fire weather
conditions will continue through the middle of next week with
little relief in sight. You know about them, We've heard
about them all week. Red flag warnings are in effect
for many portions of Los Angeles and Ventura Counties, and
these warnings will continue to bring sadly life threatening, destructive
(03:11):
and widespread winds that can result in everything from burning
structures to downed trees, power outages, and a high risk
for very large fires with a rapid spread. We are
deeply grateful to the firefighters who have shown up from
states around America, from Oregon, from Washington State, from Arizona,
(03:37):
and from Mexico, and as I'm reminded at least four
times a day from my family members in Canada, Canadian
firefighters are here too, with the big super scoopers. You've
probably seen footage of them dumping. The county wants you
to know that FEMA assistance is available at eight different
libraries in La County and tomorrow from nine am to
(03:59):
five pm. Any Angelino who's effective by the wildfires can
receive assistance in things like submitting applications for disaster relief.
Some of the locations where you can go between nine
and five tomorrow La Crecenta Library, La Kenyada, Flintridge Library,
West Hollywood Library, San Fernando Library, Live Oak Library, Temple
(04:23):
City Library, San Gabriel Library, and Alhambra Civic Center Library.
This is all tomorrow between nine to five. You can
get assistance form filling with people who understand how the
bureaucracy works. For FEMA assistance. Some people have asked about
how they access how they find vital records. If your
(04:44):
home has burned and you have lost birth certificates and
passports and marriage certificates and naturalization certificates. I am an
immigrant myself. That's a very important piece of paper that's
in a safe deposit box. So if you have lost
these things, you can request vital records free of charge
to the county will help you with recovery efforts. For
(05:07):
any of these the Los Angeles County Registrar recorder Clerk's office,
you can call one eight hundred to zero one eight
nine nine nine. That's one eight hundred to zero one
eight nine nine nine, select option one. You can leave
your email. They will help you getting the documents that
(05:29):
are going to be needed for FEMA, for your insurance claims,
for whatever. I don't have to tell you. There continues
to be a smoke advisory. The Department of Public Health
is issued a smoke advisory declaring unhealthy air quality due
to the wildfires. The county is urging everyone to stay inside,
especially if there is visible smoke, not to exercise outdoors. Really,
(05:53):
I know we're all going stir crazy. I know that
exercise is one of the best things for our mental health.
But do some push ups in your bedroom. This is
not the time to be out there jogging around in
this air. So that's that we will continue to bring
you these kinds of updates. I do want to add
one other thing that the county is also running youth
(06:14):
camps for kids aged five to twelve. It's important that
we keep life normal for children, or make it seem
like a fun adventure, and so the county has set
up something called care camps. Care camps are in a
number of locations Pamela Park, Arcadia Park, La County Arboretum,
(06:37):
Crescentia Valley Park, Descanso Gardens. You can go online google
care camp locations. There are also camps for teens to
hang out together in a safe environment. Uh and you
can always go to Recovery dot La County dot gov
(06:57):
for all the latest resources. But we are here and
we're going to continue to provide resources for you. I'm
a professor of health psychology and in class we talk
a lot about the connection between our stress levels which
bring stress hormones like cortisol, and our physical health. And
(07:21):
it's really important that we do what we can to
maintain mental health whenever there is a catastrophic event. So obviously,
first and foremost, prioritize physical safety. If you're in an evacuate,
evacuation loan zone, get out, okay, just don't even ask questions.
(07:41):
Get out. If you're near an evacuation zone, some people
with children or elderly in the home are making the
decision to leave earlier, not wait for the evacuation. And
if that's what you need to do to prioritize your
physical safety, I would say do it now. It's also
(08:01):
really important for our mental health. To stay connected with people.
Keep in touch with your family, your friends, your support networks.
Make sure you share your feelings with them, make sure
you stay informed, use technology, social media, et cetera. But
please don't get into the game of doom scrolling. I
will be the first to admit that this is a
(08:23):
bad habit for me too. I'm searching for information constantly
and the more information I get, the more it heightens
my arousal system, my fear, my fight or flight response.
So I know I have to limit my exposure to
stressful media. Don't overload yourself, and I know it's hard,
especially if you're somebody who has been displaced. Try to
(08:46):
stick to a routine as much as you can. That
means regular eating, sleeping, and activity schedules. You want to
promote a sense of normalcy for your brain. And yes,
practice some stress management breathing exercises. I learned this week
that there's an app on my Apple Watch that you
(09:08):
hit a button and it it actually pulses and makes
me breathe in time with the app, and it does
it for sixty seconds. You can do it anytime, just
stopping and taking sixty seconds to take some nice, deep,
slow breaths can tweak your vegus nerve and help calm
(09:29):
you down. And this will make your brain more fortified
to make better decisions for yourself. If you do need
to reach out to a crisis hotline, please do that
all right. When we come back, we have a special
guest who not only lost her home in the fire,
(09:50):
but has been facing something you've been hearing about in
the news, the price gorging on the real estate market.
We'll have more when we welcome her to the show.
When we come back. You are listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Forty AFI Am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh
with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. The
trauma of losing your home, the trauma of evacuating under
the danger of fire chasing you. That is what my
next guest has experienced. I would like to welcome Tammy
(10:38):
Jakin Newman. Hi, Tammy, how are you? Hi?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Doctor Wendy. You know, surreal but doing okay, one foot
in front of the other.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So you and your husband have a seventeen year old daughter,
Can you break down for me what happened when you
got the evacuation call and how you were able to
get out.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Sure you know it's I mean, I can remember it
so clearly. I mean it was. It started out as
a beautiful day. It was windy, and we are on
the lower bluffs in the Palisades, if anyone's familiar with
that area, and we have one hundred year old of
the eucalyptus trees in our backyard. And I was in
between zooms and as my husband was, and we looked
(11:22):
at our backyard and we saw like we thought the
trees were swaying. We were looking for that, but then
we saw the smoke in the distance and we were like,
that's the highlands. And I had another zoom in five minutes,
and my husband said, you know, I'm going to go
drive and see what's going on. I said, okay, So
I got on my zoom and he came back and
(11:43):
he said, you know, that seems us like it's very
close to us. It's in the highlands, but it's moving fast.
And he said, you know, I'm just going to just
put a little overnight bag together. He said, when you're
done with your zoom, do one too, So I did.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
At that point, got any notifications, nothing on my phone
to get out, okay.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Nothing nothing, And then like five minutes later he we
got a prepare to evacuate. It wasn't an evacuation yet,
it just was like prepared to evacuate. So he he said, okay,
you know, you pack your bag. I'm gonna, you know,
do a couple of things.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And where was your dog.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
Our daughter's at school on the other side of town
in Hancock Park, so she wasn't home. She drives, She
drove to school and still like no one else is
really knowing what's going on. It seems like our phones
are not ringing like it out anything. And he, you know,
he's calmly, like, you know again, taking his briefcase, putting
(12:48):
it his computer in. I took my computer, and then
we got another loop prepared to evacuate, and we both
looked at each other and realized, oh gosh, our dog
is at the groomers. And at our dog was at
the groomers near the Highlands, so not not in Santa Monica.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
So he.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
I said, and then just in our phone rings and
it's the groomers and they said you need to come
get Chloe, our dogs, and she's our beloved five year
old white lab and that's most important. He said, Okay,
I'm going to get the dog. I said, okay. So
he leaves to go get the dog. I'm like kind
of slowly, still doing couple things like I.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Don't think people realize just how you know, how now
you're what it would be. So he gets the groomer
and what did he see.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Well, first of all, he really couldn't even get to
the groomers like it was because he was going towards
the Highlands and the police weren't letting him, like they
were blocking off towards that way already, and the other
way going on Santa Monica on Sunset was already a
parking lot because the highlands were already evacuating. So they
were already evacuating. You couldn't move on Sunset. And he
(14:04):
called me and he said, listen, I'm not going to
be able to get back to you, like I can't
help you get anything out of the house. He said,
You're just going to have to leave the house, and
I said, just load the car and what he said, right,
load the car and go yep. And I said, okay,
well I had already taken like some documents out of
the safe and everything. And I said, I can't leave.
(14:26):
You have my car keys. You have both of my
car keys.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
So you're standing in my car.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
I was completely stranded. I said, I can't leave. He said,
get on your running shoes and run run to me.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And he's got your car keys and he's got the dog.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
But now he's got the dog. He's like, but I
can't move, so you run. I ran about two miles
each way to get the dogs.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
A good advertisement. Why we should all be in shape. Okay,
stay in shape, go to the hym. I knew two
miles through the hills.
Speaker 5 (15:03):
I know, well, I mean people were in bumper traffic.
I was on speakerphone. My sister was like, you have
to leave crime. It was at that point it seems
surreal because on our little street we couldn't tell how
backed up sunset was. So I got to him, I
got the keys, I ran back, and I literally just
left with just like a few things, a uniform for
(15:28):
our daughter for school, sweatpants, t shirt, like a couple
of things, and our dog to dog food and I
got in the car and by the time I got
in the car, I had kind of looked up to
the hills and saw the fire was coming down our
hill down sunset, yep, I could see the flames. And
(15:49):
then I just really truly sat in my car for
two and a half hours trying to get at the
palisade like it was terrifying, not moving it was.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
We've seen this kind of video on television, on social media.
We know what happened next. I'm just happy to say
Tammy that you your daughter, your husband, and your dog got
out safely. What happened to your house?
Speaker 5 (16:16):
We completely lost it. It's it's surreal to even think
about it. And we we we really thought as we
were watching the news all night long on Tuesday night,
as we saw on sunset on Pch the motor home
park go up, we had an inclination if that mobile
(16:37):
home park went up, that that's our canyon, that we
didn't have a great shot if as the winds were blowing,
of losing it. But again, until we saw it, we
still thought, you know, as we woke up that morning
and our friends were our close group of friends were
texting like everyone was like, we lost our house, We
lost our house. We watched one friend's house burn at
(16:58):
one point thirty in the morning on TV on the
corn or Chockland sunset.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
And still you know you are now staying with friends.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Yea, and we're like friends.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Like what tens of thousands of people in LA looking
for a rental, you also were a victim of rent
price gouging. Talk about that. Have you been able to
find a place.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
We still haven't found a place, you know, I can.
I feel like it's we're in the hunger games right
now looking for a place to live. I mean, there
are so many people displaced right now and it's truly unfortunate.
And you know, I kind of went, you know, as
most people do, went into like we have to find
someone to live and just started texting and calling and
(17:51):
reaching out to every realtory can and one the story
of the price gouging is one home we found in
Brentwood had been on the market for three months on
Zilo for rent and it was empty.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
It'd been on the market for three.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
Months on the market. It was ready to go. Yeah,
this is for us. It looks sweet, there's a backyard
for our dog. But we you know, so we reached out.
The realtor responded to me and said, you know what.
The owner is from the Palisades and he made need
this property for his family. You know, Oh gosh, I
(18:29):
totally understand. Just keep me posted. We're ready to go
if you know, if the property is available. And they
came back and he said, you know, the owner's willing
to rent it the next twenty four hours. The next day,
the owner's willing to rent it. But it is now
you know, I'm not going to say what it is,
but it was almost three times you had talked three times,
(18:50):
Yeah it was, it was yeah, yeah, And I was
I was a guess. I was mostly a guess that
this was someone from our community that knows people have
lost everything and it's catastrophic. And I was really really
just like I was so taken aback that people were
(19:11):
doing this and you I'm hearing it. I did report him,
and I let the realatorn know and then he'd try
to say, oh, we'll make it, you know, like, oh,
I'm trying to talk to the owner. But I reported it.
I just I you know, I did. I felt like
it was the right thing to do.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
It's like you, Yeah, I victimized twice, Tammy. We have
to go to a break. I just want you to
know how everybody here at KFI our hearts are breaking
for you and your family. I'm happy to find out
that you, you know, potentially might have a rental coming up,
that you have friends you can go with. And I'm
(19:48):
just so sorry about your loss, and I wish you
well in the weeks and months of working through this
emotional trauma. But thank you so much for telling us
on the radio. I appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Thank you Wendy so much. There are good people out there.
There's act of kindness too. I just want to say so,
thank you so much, Wendy. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Good luck to you. Thank You're listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. When we come back. Another
person who whose house actually survived, but she now is
living with survivor's guilt. Let's talk about that when we
come back.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
AFI AM six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. You know, the
loss of a home, the displacement that one experiences, the
difficulty and challenges of rebuilding, the thought of living with
the anxiety that this could happen again. All this can
(20:55):
create lasting psychological harm for people, whether they've lost their
home or not. My next guest, Tanya Memmy, you might
recognize the name, was a TV host for fifteen years
at ANI Network, ironically host of the show Sell This House,
and she herself now is a realatter. Hi, Tanya, how
(21:17):
are you?
Speaker 6 (21:18):
I'm okay, how are you good?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Now we should be clear your house was not destroyed,
but you have a bit of a harrowing evacuation story.
Speaker 6 (21:30):
Yes, my house is still standing, everything around it is gone.
And yeah, my evacuation story was pretty crazy. So basically
we were, you know, we had the evacuation notices and
I was on a zoom call and I wasn't really
paying attention until it started to until I started to
(21:51):
see smoke, and then my phone started going crazy with
evacuation notices, and then we packed up. We had like
a few minutes, not long to pack as much as
we could in the car. And we've just ransacked our
house trying to figure out like what to take what not.
And we got in the car and I was in
the car with my mom and my cat, and we
went down So we live in the We live like
(22:16):
in the heart of the Palisades, And so as we
were going down our street, we hit gridlock and we
were stuck in the car.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Not moving at all.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Then we saw cars like driving on the wrong side
of the street. Just everyone's kind of butting in front
of everybody. Everyone's panicked and scared. The the fire trucks
couldn't get up the street, the cops couldn't get.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Up the street.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
People were moving over and shoving people over, and it
was just chaos. And then as we inched inched, inched,
we started to go deeper and deeper into the fire.
But we didn't realize we were going deeper into the
fire until it was too late, and so we were
stuck in gridlock for two hours. With firearms you have I.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Often wonder if you had that sense, like you should
get out of the car and run if there's fire
on both sides of your car, what direction would you run?
Did you have that moment of complete panic. I just
need to run for my life.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
Oh yeah, we were in complete I was in complete hysteria,
couldn't think, couldn't I couldn't make decisions. I didn't know
where it was it was. I had a friend. My
boyfriend called me to talk to talk me through it.
And so then we decided, yeah, did we run? Like
are we going to run? But the problem is you
don't know which direction to run. I was on Sunset,
I was on the corner of Sunset and Sunset and
(23:33):
uh it with Mark marqueas I think.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
And.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
So yeah, so we were stuck in that area when
you see on the news where everybody abandoned their cars
and they ran. We were probably about two hundred feet
away from that happening. So we saw people with luggages
and just running and just with their stuff, and we
were looking for a place to pull our car over,
but there was nowhere to pull over. And I didn't
want to be in the way of the fire trucks
(23:59):
and of the the police that we're trying to get through,
because you can't just ditch your car in the middle
of the street or else nothing can get done right, right, Well,
so a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Didn't know what we saw those bulldos. A lot of
people did, yes, exactly, So I very little time left.
I want to find out. So your home survived, but
yet you may be going back to a neighborhood where
there are no homes, and you know, in some cases,
(24:32):
I would say living in a damaged home can be
more difficult than a complete loss because of the stress.
What are your plans.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
We don't know.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
We don't have enough information. We did we were escorted up.
I wasn't, but my boyfriend was escorted up to the
house and we saw what was left our house. It
does have damage. There's you know, there's no power, the
water's toxic, there's fumes in the house, there's smoke damage,
and so we don't really know. Yeah, our house is standing,
but we don't know what that means at this point,
(25:03):
Like we don't yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
We have to we won't know about I mean, if fire,
hydrants were running dry?
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Are there?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Water is their pipes, utility, water is their electricity. Like
when people say, oh, aren't you lucky your home survived,
You're like, what do you mean? We have no water
or lights and it's full of smoke, damage. Is it livable?
Is the answer.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:25):
There, we're from getting the house to not I mean,
we don't know what we're in for. We've we're going
to be out of the house at least for eight
months to a year, is what we're told.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Oh, you know, one of the things you mentioned when
I spoke with you earlier was experiencing survivor survivor's guilt.
Talk to me about that.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Oh, it's it's horrible. I mean, you know, so many
of my friends have lost their homes and they call me,
you know, they're calling me crying, did you you know?
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Did you?
Speaker 6 (25:49):
Is your house okay? And it's I really feel seriously
guilty even just saying yes, it's it's still there. And
I know they just lost absolutely everything. Especially some of
my friends are renting houses, so they lost everything. They
don't even own a house. And you know, some people,
I know, the Palisades is you know, more of a
wealthy area, but I'll tell you, like, it's my friends
(26:12):
and a lot of people in my community. They're struggling.
And it's been a rough few years. You know, we're
in the entertainment business. It's been rough, and it's not
what everybody thinks not everybody has money, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
So it's well, I know they think radio hosts have money,
you do, Tanya, Memmy, thank you so much for being
with us. I'm so deeply sorry about what you're going
through and I do hope you find some solace in
the weeks and months and potentially years to come to
(26:47):
repair both your home and your soul through all of this.
So thank you so much for being with us. Thank
you when we come back. I have a world renowned
psychoanalyst and a professor at UCLA who who is a
specialist in trauma, and yet this week he experienced the
trauma of losing his own home. You're listening to Doctor
(27:10):
Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty were live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Welcome back to the Dr Wendy Wall Show on KFI
AM six forty, Live everywhere on iHeartRadio app. My next
guest is often consulted when it comes to trauma here
in America. He's considered an expert in stress and trauma.
Doctor Anthony Redding is both a psychologist and UCLA professor,
(27:44):
and he knows a thing or two about trauma. But
today he joins us as a guest for a dual purpose.
He lost his own home to the fires in the Palisades.
Doctor Redding, thank you so much for being with us.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
You're welcome and I appreciate the opportunity to join you.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
So can you tell us a little bit about what
happened to you first, if you're comfortable talking about it?
And also is there some healing power in being able
to talk about things?
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Yes, certainly to process a lot. So what I experienced
so many others would be considered a significant loss. So
I went to work as usual on Tuesday before the
warning of the evacuation noticed from Talented. While I'm working,
receives the evacuation notice, so it was all too late.
(28:37):
I didn't bring anything, And of course that's always something
one in bringing re experiences in terms of if only
but certainly talking. But at times it can for me,
I have alternated writing about my experience, which is a
(28:57):
significant loss, and avoid connecting to it and immersing myself
in other activities and particularly social support, but not social
support where I'm replaying what happened. That is something that
can be overwhelming, and of course loss can be enhanced
when there's a perception that it's the product of the
(29:20):
actions or inactions of others, which I note in the media.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yes you know, I've heard you say that in lectures
that there is this idea if you know it was
an act of God or mother nature, if you will,
there tends to be less stress. But when we think
that the possibility could be arson, how does that exacerbate
our stress level?
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Well, it can be more difficult to process that because
it's not an act of nature, it's due to something
it shouldn't have happened, and that can aggravate the reaction
and make the loss more severe and more or enduring.
And there are secondary losses of course, the initial shock
(30:07):
and then of course reconstituted one's life becomes a succession
of challenges and losses. So this is something that's not
just momentary. It's a protracted process. And I think where
one attributes the loss of the actions of others as
the potential for the emotional effects, and those not only
(30:28):
with respect to how one's feeling, but also there are
physiologic changes that one has to be aware of and
wary of those having debilitating or enduring injurious effects over time.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
You know, it's almost like the brain says, Okay, I
get it if it's lightning or a big storm, But
if there is evil out there causing this, then what
other evil might be there? Right? It sort of exacerbates
this heightened sense of fear. Did I say that correctly?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yes, you're well here lots of safety, but one has
to work on one's continuing re playing and realizing that
perfetuating the stress and stress is certainly antithetical to good
physical and mental health. And right now people have lost
their home or lost their lifestyle lots, maybe a loved
(31:22):
one lost the pet. Animals this significant loss experience, and
it takes time to process and adjust to that. It's
a very significant stress, and people have to be aware
of that and do everything they can to offset that
by having support from others, being able to talk when
(31:44):
necessary when necessary.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You know you mentioned something earlier that while social support
is important, reliving the event to everybody over and over
is probably not so good. So are we giving permission
here to friends and family to say it's okay to
laugh and talk about other things? To help that person.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
To know from someone I know, and she articulated very helpful,
which is just being there, not really living, not talking
about it, and it's it's important for loved ones to
realize that it's not necessary to talk about it or
asked about it as a way of showing empathy or
(32:26):
compassion for just being there and if you like resuming
normal life, even though it's not any more than normal lifestyle.
You know.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
One of the things you've also talked about in the
past is that the duration of a trauma has a
direct impact on how it will the symptoms will be
presented later. These fires are sort of taking forever to
be put out, and even those who are partially traumatized
as onlooker spectators, news consumers, is the fact that this
(33:00):
is going on for so long making it harder for
all of us.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I think that in many people in me, include itself,
it was inconceivable that might have would ever be threatened
as if apparently was in the safe zone, there was
no brush, no opportunity for a wildfire, and so seeing
the power of nature and the protracted nature and the
inability of the fire department to curb it, and it
(33:30):
just spreading. That's a wake up call, and it challenges
many deep seated assumptions of control. And we know, of course,
control is a very powerful antidote to stress. The absence
of control not only engenders fear, it changes our brain activity.
(33:53):
We know that control is helpful in terms of dampening
down the emotional areas of the brain, and the opposite
of that, lack of control enhances that activity in the
emotional areas of the brain. And all of that is
going to protract to translate into the potential for both
emotional and physical changes over time, which we don't want
(34:17):
in terms of subsequent health problems.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yes, so one of the things I teach is psychology
of health counseling, where we talk about how the mind
and the body talk to each other and long term
effects can happen to physical health because of mental trauma.
You say, in particular with young people with developing brains,
with children. Correct.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Yeah, So adverse childhood experiences not just impactful at the time,
but they can have enjoying effects over the whole lifetime.
And so particularly with children, and this lot of child's
loss of home, lots of lifestyle, the awakening of something
that's really antithetical to good health as a child, the
(35:05):
fact that parents can't protect them from laws, from the trauma,
from the uprooting. All of that requires careful handling of
the child to restore a sense of what doesn't really exist,
but it is necessary for childhood, which is the sense of certainty, control,
(35:25):
safety and protection on the part of our parents and
other authority figures.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
In fact. So we have to go to a break,
but when we come back, I would like to talk
about how parents can react to their kids and what
all of us can do, and particularly people like you
who have lost your home, to maintain routines and keep
their mental health intact in the ensuing weeks and months ahead.
My guest is doctor Anthony Redding, ucla professor psychologist and
(35:53):
an international expert on trauma. You're listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh.
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walsh Show. In the middle of the fires in Los Angeles.
We are going to move away from our regular content
(00:21):
where I love to talk about love, relationships and family,
something that's probably most important now than any other time.
But we must cover what is happening here in Los
Angeles as it matters by the minute. I want you
to stay with KFI because we continue to monitor what's
(00:41):
going on with the fires, the freeways, the relief efforts,
the firefighters. We are doing everything we can to bring
the information to you in the most urgent manner as
soon as it comes in. Producer Kayla. Are you with
us always? Doctor Wendy, Oh good, good to have you here.
How are you holding up.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm in a safe area, thankfully. But you know, prayers
for everybody affected an iHeart everybody near to our hearts,
so it's not necessarily an excel of relief because you
just feel bad for everybody that's going through it and
impacted absolutely.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
And you know, we're going to have some guests on
the show today, some who have lost their homes, lost everything,
Others whose home miraculously happen to survive and are experiencing
a kind of survivor's guilt, and many of us who
are spectators and experiencing a kind of vicarious trauma, a
(01:37):
kind of how can we help, what can we do
to bring you up to speed. There are still currently
four active wildfires burning in Los Angeles County, as reported
by the county today. They are driven by extreme winds
and weather conditions. Nearly forty thousand acres have burned. It's
estimated that more than twelve thousand structures have been damaged
(01:58):
or destroyed. At this hour, sixteen people have lost their lives,
and searches are continuing for others who are missing. To
put the size of this fire into context, if you
were to take the area of all four fires and
put them together, it's about sixty two square miles.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I looked this up because I have friends and family
all over the country and indeed in Canada, and they
were asking me, like, how big is what is this?
The square miles of the city of Miami is thirty
six square miles. Now, if you extended into Miami Dade,
we're talking about fifty six square miles. This fire so
far is sixty two square miles. This is not good
(02:47):
and it's continuing to not be great. Critical fire weather
conditions will continue through the middle of next week with
little relief in sight. You know about them, We've heard
about them all week. Red flag warnings are in effect
for many portions of Los Angeles and Ventura Counties, and
these warnings will continue to bring sadly life threatening, destructive
(03:11):
and widespread winds that can result in everything from burning
structures to downed trees, power outages, and a high risk
for very large fires with a rapid spread. We are
deeply grateful to the firefighters who have shown up from
states around America, from Oregon, from Washington State, from Arizona,
(03:37):
and from Mexico, and as I'm reminded at least four
times a day from my family members in Canada, Canadian
firefighters are here too, with the big super scoopers. You've
probably seen footage of them dumping. The county wants you
to know that FEMA assistance is available at eight different
libraries in La County and tomorrow from nine am to
(03:59):
five pm. Any Angelino who's effective by the wildfires can
receive assistance in things like submitting applications for disaster relief.
Some of the locations where you can go between nine
and five tomorrow La Crecenta Library, La Kenyada, Flintridge Library,
West Hollywood Library, San Fernando Library, Live Oak Library, Temple
(04:23):
City Library, San Gabriel Library, and Alhambra Civic Center Library.
This is all tomorrow between nine to five. You can
get assistance form filling with people who understand how the
bureaucracy works. For FEMA assistance. Some people have asked about
how they access how they find vital records. If your
(04:44):
home has burned and you have lost birth certificates and
passports and marriage certificates and naturalization certificates. I am an
immigrant myself. That's a very important piece of paper that's
in a safe deposit box. So if you have lost
these things, you can request vital records free of charge
to the county will help you with recovery efforts. For
(05:07):
any of these the Los Angeles County Registrar recorder Clerk's office,
you can call one eight hundred to zero one eight
nine nine nine. That's one eight hundred to zero one
eight nine nine nine, select option one. You can leave
your email. They will help you getting the documents that
(05:29):
are going to be needed for FEMA, for your insurance claims,
for whatever. I don't have to tell you. There continues
to be a smoke advisory. The Department of Public Health
is issued a smoke advisory declaring unhealthy air quality due
to the wildfires. The county is urging everyone to stay inside,
especially if there is visible smoke, not to exercise outdoors. Really,
(05:53):
I know we're all going stir crazy. I know that
exercise is one of the best things for our mental health.
But do some push ups in your bedroom. This is
not the time to be out there jogging around in
this air. So that's that we will continue to bring
you these kinds of updates. I do want to add
one other thing that the county is also running youth
(06:14):
camps for kids aged five to twelve. It's important that
we keep life normal for children, or make it seem
like a fun adventure, and so the county has set
up something called care camps. Care camps are in a
number of locations Pamela Park, Arcadia Park, La County Arboretum,
(06:37):
Crescentia Valley Park, Descanso Gardens. You can go online google
care camp locations. There are also camps for teens to
hang out together in a safe environment. Uh and you
can always go to Recovery dot La County dot gov
(06:57):
for all the latest resources. But we are here and
we're going to continue to provide resources for you. I'm
a professor of health psychology and in class we talk
a lot about the connection between our stress levels which
bring stress hormones like cortisol, and our physical health. And
(07:21):
it's really important that we do what we can to
maintain mental health whenever there is a catastrophic event. So obviously,
first and foremost, prioritize physical safety. If you're in an evacuate,
evacuation loan zone, get out, okay, just don't even ask questions.
(07:41):
Get out. If you're near an evacuation zone, some people
with children or elderly in the home are making the
decision to leave earlier, not wait for the evacuation. And
if that's what you need to do to prioritize your
physical safety, I would say do it now. It's also
(08:01):
really important for our mental health. To stay connected with people.
Keep in touch with your family, your friends, your support networks.
Make sure you share your feelings with them, make sure
you stay informed, use technology, social media, et cetera. But
please don't get into the game of doom scrolling. I
will be the first to admit that this is a
(08:23):
bad habit for me too. I'm searching for information constantly
and the more information I get, the more it heightens
my arousal system, my fear, my fight or flight response.
So I know I have to limit my exposure to
stressful media. Don't overload yourself, and I know it's hard,
especially if you're somebody who has been displaced. Try to
(08:46):
stick to a routine as much as you can. That
means regular eating, sleeping, and activity schedules. You want to
promote a sense of normalcy for your brain. And yes,
practice some stress management breathing exercises. I learned this week
that there's an app on my Apple Watch that you
(09:08):
hit a button and it it actually pulses and makes
me breathe in time with the app, and it does
it for sixty seconds. You can do it anytime, just
stopping and taking sixty seconds to take some nice, deep,
slow breaths can tweak your vegus nerve and help calm
(09:29):
you down. And this will make your brain more fortified
to make better decisions for yourself. If you do need
to reach out to a crisis hotline, please do that
all right. When we come back, we have a special
guest who not only lost her home in the fire,
(09:50):
but has been facing something you've been hearing about in
the news, the price gorging on the real estate market.
We'll have more when we welcome her to the show.
When we come back. You are listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Forty AFI Am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh
with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. The
trauma of losing your home, the trauma of evacuating under
the danger of fire chasing you. That is what my
next guest has experienced. I would like to welcome Tammy
(10:38):
Jakin Newman. Hi, Tammy, how are you? Hi?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Doctor Wendy. You know, surreal but doing okay, one foot
in front of the other.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So you and your husband have a seventeen year old daughter,
Can you break down for me what happened when you
got the evacuation call and how you were able to
get out.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Sure you know it's I mean, I can remember it
so clearly. I mean it was. It started out as
a beautiful day. It was windy, and we are on
the lower bluffs in the Palisades, if anyone's familiar with
that area, and we have one hundred year old of
the eucalyptus trees in our backyard. And I was in
between zooms and as my husband was, and we looked
(11:22):
at our backyard and we saw like we thought the
trees were swaying. We were looking for that, but then
we saw the smoke in the distance and we were like,
that's the highlands. And I had another zoom in five minutes,
and my husband said, you know, I'm going to go
drive and see what's going on. I said, okay, So
I got on my zoom and he came back and
(11:43):
he said, you know, that seems us like it's very
close to us. It's in the highlands, but it's moving fast.
And he said, you know, I'm just going to just
put a little overnight bag together. He said, when you're
done with your zoom, do one too, So I did.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
At that point, got any notifications, nothing on my phone
to get out, okay.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Nothing nothing, And then like five minutes later he we
got a prepare to evacuate. It wasn't an evacuation yet,
it just was like prepared to evacuate. So he he said, okay,
you know, you pack your bag. I'm gonna, you know,
do a couple of things.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And where was your dog.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
Our daughter's at school on the other side of town
in Hancock Park, so she wasn't home. She drives, She
drove to school and still like no one else is
really knowing what's going on. It seems like our phones
are not ringing like it out anything. And he, you know,
he's calmly, like, you know again, taking his briefcase, putting
(12:48):
it his computer in. I took my computer, and then
we got another loop prepared to evacuate, and we both
looked at each other and realized, oh gosh, our dog
is at the groomers. And at our dog was at
the groomers near the Highlands, so not not in Santa Monica.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
So he.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
I said, and then just in our phone rings and
it's the groomers and they said you need to come
get Chloe, our dogs, and she's our beloved five year
old white lab and that's most important. He said, Okay,
I'm going to get the dog. I said, okay. So
he leaves to go get the dog. I'm like kind
of slowly, still doing couple things like I.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Don't think people realize just how you know, how now
you're what it would be. So he gets the groomer
and what did he see.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Well, first of all, he really couldn't even get to
the groomers like it was because he was going towards
the Highlands and the police weren't letting him, like they
were blocking off towards that way already, and the other
way going on Santa Monica on Sunset was already a
parking lot because the highlands were already evacuating. So they
were already evacuating. You couldn't move on Sunset. And he
(14:04):
called me and he said, listen, I'm not going to
be able to get back to you, like I can't
help you get anything out of the house. He said,
You're just going to have to leave the house, and
I said, just load the car and what he said, right,
load the car and go yep. And I said, okay,
well I had already taken like some documents out of
the safe and everything. And I said, I can't leave.
(14:26):
You have my car keys. You have both of my
car keys.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
So you're standing in my car.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
I was completely stranded. I said, I can't leave. He said,
get on your running shoes and run run to me.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And he's got your car keys and he's got the dog.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
But now he's got the dog. He's like, but I
can't move, so you run. I ran about two miles
each way to get the dogs.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
A good advertisement. Why we should all be in shape. Okay,
stay in shape, go to the hym. I knew two
miles through the hills.
Speaker 5 (15:03):
I know, well, I mean people were in bumper traffic.
I was on speakerphone. My sister was like, you have
to leave crime. It was at that point it seems
surreal because on our little street we couldn't tell how
backed up sunset was. So I got to him, I
got the keys, I ran back, and I literally just
left with just like a few things, a uniform for
(15:28):
our daughter for school, sweatpants, t shirt, like a couple
of things, and our dog to dog food and I
got in the car and by the time I got
in the car, I had kind of looked up to
the hills and saw the fire was coming down our
hill down sunset, yep, I could see the flames. And
(15:49):
then I just really truly sat in my car for
two and a half hours trying to get at the
palisade like it was terrifying, not moving it was.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
We've seen this kind of video on television, on social media.
We know what happened next. I'm just happy to say
Tammy that you your daughter, your husband, and your dog got
out safely. What happened to your house?
Speaker 5 (16:16):
We completely lost it. It's it's surreal to even think
about it. And we we we really thought as we
were watching the news all night long on Tuesday night,
as we saw on sunset on Pch the motor home
park go up, we had an inclination if that mobile
(16:37):
home park went up, that that's our canyon, that we
didn't have a great shot if as the winds were blowing,
of losing it. But again, until we saw it, we
still thought, you know, as we woke up that morning
and our friends were our close group of friends were
texting like everyone was like, we lost our house, We
lost our house. We watched one friend's house burn at
(16:58):
one point thirty in the morning on TV on the
corn or Chockland sunset.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
And still you know you are now staying with friends.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Yea, and we're like friends.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Like what tens of thousands of people in LA looking
for a rental, you also were a victim of rent
price gouging. Talk about that. Have you been able to
find a place.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
We still haven't found a place, you know, I can.
I feel like it's we're in the hunger games right
now looking for a place to live. I mean, there
are so many people displaced right now and it's truly unfortunate.
And you know, I kind of went, you know, as
most people do, went into like we have to find
someone to live and just started texting and calling and
(17:51):
reaching out to every realtory can and one the story
of the price gouging is one home we found in
Brentwood had been on the market for three months on
Zilo for rent and it was empty.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
It'd been on the market for three.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
Months on the market. It was ready to go. Yeah,
this is for us. It looks sweet, there's a backyard
for our dog. But we you know, so we reached out.
The realtor responded to me and said, you know what.
The owner is from the Palisades and he made need
this property for his family. You know, Oh gosh, I
(18:29):
totally understand. Just keep me posted. We're ready to go
if you know, if the property is available. And they
came back and he said, you know, the owner's willing
to rent it the next twenty four hours. The next day,
the owner's willing to rent it. But it is now
you know, I'm not going to say what it is,
but it was almost three times you had talked three times,
(18:50):
Yeah it was, it was yeah, yeah, And I was
I was a guess. I was mostly a guess that
this was someone from our community that knows people have
lost everything and it's catastrophic. And I was really really
just like I was so taken aback that people were
(19:11):
doing this and you I'm hearing it. I did report him,
and I let the realatorn know and then he'd try
to say, oh, we'll make it, you know, like, oh,
I'm trying to talk to the owner. But I reported it.
I just I you know, I did. I felt like
it was the right thing to do.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
It's like you, Yeah, I victimized twice, Tammy. We have
to go to a break. I just want you to
know how everybody here at KFI our hearts are breaking
for you and your family. I'm happy to find out
that you, you know, potentially might have a rental coming up,
that you have friends you can go with. And I'm
(19:48):
just so sorry about your loss, and I wish you
well in the weeks and months of working through this
emotional trauma. But thank you so much for telling us
on the radio. I appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Thank you Wendy so much. There are good people out there.
There's act of kindness too. I just want to say so,
thank you so much, Wendy. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Good luck to you. Thank You're listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. When we come back. Another
person who whose house actually survived, but she now is
living with survivor's guilt. Let's talk about that when we
come back.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
AFI AM six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. You know, the
loss of a home, the displacement that one experiences, the
difficulty and challenges of rebuilding, the thought of living with
the anxiety that this could happen again. All this can
(20:55):
create lasting psychological harm for people, whether they've lost their
home or not. My next guest, Tanya Memmy, you might
recognize the name, was a TV host for fifteen years
at ANI Network, ironically host of the show Sell This House,
and she herself now is a realatter. Hi, Tanya, how
(21:17):
are you?
Speaker 6 (21:18):
I'm okay, how are you good?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Now we should be clear your house was not destroyed,
but you have a bit of a harrowing evacuation story.
Speaker 6 (21:30):
Yes, my house is still standing, everything around it is gone.
And yeah, my evacuation story was pretty crazy. So basically
we were, you know, we had the evacuation notices and
I was on a zoom call and I wasn't really
paying attention until it started to until I started to
(21:51):
see smoke, and then my phone started going crazy with
evacuation notices, and then we packed up. We had like
a few minutes, not long to pack as much as
we could in the car. And we've just ransacked our
house trying to figure out like what to take what not.
And we got in the car and I was in
the car with my mom and my cat, and we
went down So we live in the We live like
(22:16):
in the heart of the Palisades, And so as we
were going down our street, we hit gridlock and we
were stuck in the car.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Not moving at all.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Then we saw cars like driving on the wrong side
of the street. Just everyone's kind of butting in front
of everybody. Everyone's panicked and scared. The the fire trucks
couldn't get up the street, the cops couldn't get.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Up the street.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
People were moving over and shoving people over, and it
was just chaos. And then as we inched inched, inched,
we started to go deeper and deeper into the fire.
But we didn't realize we were going deeper into the
fire until it was too late, and so we were
stuck in gridlock for two hours. With firearms you have I.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Often wonder if you had that sense, like you should
get out of the car and run if there's fire
on both sides of your car, what direction would you run?
Did you have that moment of complete panic. I just
need to run for my life.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
Oh yeah, we were in complete I was in complete hysteria,
couldn't think, couldn't I couldn't make decisions. I didn't know
where it was it was. I had a friend. My
boyfriend called me to talk to talk me through it.
And so then we decided, yeah, did we run? Like
are we going to run? But the problem is you
don't know which direction to run. I was on Sunset,
I was on the corner of Sunset and Sunset and
(23:33):
uh it with Mark marqueas I think.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
And.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
So yeah, so we were stuck in that area when
you see on the news where everybody abandoned their cars
and they ran. We were probably about two hundred feet
away from that happening. So we saw people with luggages
and just running and just with their stuff, and we
were looking for a place to pull our car over,
but there was nowhere to pull over. And I didn't
want to be in the way of the fire trucks
(23:59):
and of the the police that we're trying to get through,
because you can't just ditch your car in the middle
of the street or else nothing can get done right, right, Well,
so a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Didn't know what we saw those bulldos. A lot of
people did, yes, exactly, So I very little time left.
I want to find out. So your home survived, but
yet you may be going back to a neighborhood where
there are no homes, and you know, in some cases,
(24:32):
I would say living in a damaged home can be
more difficult than a complete loss because of the stress.
What are your plans.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
We don't know.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
We don't have enough information. We did we were escorted up.
I wasn't, but my boyfriend was escorted up to the
house and we saw what was left our house. It
does have damage. There's you know, there's no power, the
water's toxic, there's fumes in the house, there's smoke damage,
and so we don't really know. Yeah, our house is standing,
but we don't know what that means at this point,
(25:03):
Like we don't yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
We have to we won't know about I mean, if fire,
hydrants were running dry?
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Are there?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Water is their pipes, utility, water is their electricity. Like
when people say, oh, aren't you lucky your home survived,
You're like, what do you mean? We have no water
or lights and it's full of smoke, damage. Is it livable?
Is the answer.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:25):
There, we're from getting the house to not I mean,
we don't know what we're in for. We've we're going
to be out of the house at least for eight
months to a year, is what we're told.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Oh, you know, one of the things you mentioned when
I spoke with you earlier was experiencing survivor survivor's guilt.
Talk to me about that.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Oh, it's it's horrible. I mean, you know, so many
of my friends have lost their homes and they call me,
you know, they're calling me crying, did you you know?
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Did you?
Speaker 6 (25:49):
Is your house okay? And it's I really feel seriously
guilty even just saying yes, it's it's still there. And
I know they just lost absolutely everything. Especially some of
my friends are renting houses, so they lost everything. They
don't even own a house. And you know, some people,
I know, the Palisades is you know, more of a
wealthy area, but I'll tell you, like, it's my friends
(26:12):
and a lot of people in my community. They're struggling.
And it's been a rough few years. You know, we're
in the entertainment business. It's been rough, and it's not
what everybody thinks not everybody has money, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
So it's well, I know they think radio hosts have money,
you do, Tanya, Memmy, thank you so much for being
with us. I'm so deeply sorry about what you're going
through and I do hope you find some solace in
the weeks and months and potentially years to come to
(26:47):
repair both your home and your soul through all of this.
So thank you so much for being with us. Thank
you when we come back. I have a world renowned
psychoanalyst and a professor at UCLA who who is a
specialist in trauma, and yet this week he experienced the
trauma of losing his own home. You're listening to Doctor
(27:10):
Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty were live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Welcome back to the Dr Wendy Wall Show on KFI
AM six forty, Live everywhere on iHeartRadio app. My next
guest is often consulted when it comes to trauma here
in America. He's considered an expert in stress and trauma.
Doctor Anthony Redding is both a psychologist and UCLA professor,
(27:44):
and he knows a thing or two about trauma. But
today he joins us as a guest for a dual purpose.
He lost his own home to the fires in the Palisades.
Doctor Redding, thank you so much for being with us.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
You're welcome and I appreciate the opportunity to join you.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
So can you tell us a little bit about what
happened to you first, if you're comfortable talking about it?
And also is there some healing power in being able
to talk about things?
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Yes, certainly to process a lot. So what I experienced
so many others would be considered a significant loss. So
I went to work as usual on Tuesday before the
warning of the evacuation noticed from Talented. While I'm working,
receives the evacuation notice, so it was all too late.
(28:37):
I didn't bring anything, And of course that's always something
one in bringing re experiences in terms of if only
but certainly talking. But at times it can for me,
I have alternated writing about my experience, which is a
(28:57):
significant loss, and avoid connecting to it and immersing myself
in other activities and particularly social support, but not social
support where I'm replaying what happened. That is something that
can be overwhelming, and of course loss can be enhanced
when there's a perception that it's the product of the
(29:20):
actions or inactions of others, which I note in the media.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yes you know, I've heard you say that in lectures
that there is this idea if you know it was
an act of God or mother nature, if you will,
there tends to be less stress. But when we think
that the possibility could be arson, how does that exacerbate
our stress level?
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Well, it can be more difficult to process that because
it's not an act of nature, it's due to something
it shouldn't have happened, and that can aggravate the reaction
and make the loss more severe and more or enduring.
And there are secondary losses of course, the initial shock
(30:07):
and then of course reconstituted one's life becomes a succession
of challenges and losses. So this is something that's not
just momentary. It's a protracted process. And I think where
one attributes the loss of the actions of others as
the potential for the emotional effects, and those not only
(30:28):
with respect to how one's feeling, but also there are
physiologic changes that one has to be aware of and
wary of those having debilitating or enduring injurious effects over time.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
You know, it's almost like the brain says, Okay, I
get it if it's lightning or a big storm, But
if there is evil out there causing this, then what
other evil might be there? Right? It sort of exacerbates
this heightened sense of fear. Did I say that correctly?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yes, you're well here lots of safety, but one has
to work on one's continuing re playing and realizing that
perfetuating the stress and stress is certainly antithetical to good
physical and mental health. And right now people have lost
their home or lost their lifestyle lots, maybe a loved
(31:22):
one lost the pet. Animals this significant loss experience, and
it takes time to process and adjust to that. It's
a very significant stress, and people have to be aware
of that and do everything they can to offset that
by having support from others, being able to talk when
(31:44):
necessary when necessary.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You know you mentioned something earlier that while social support
is important, reliving the event to everybody over and over
is probably not so good. So are we giving permission
here to friends and family to say it's okay to
laugh and talk about other things? To help that person.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
To know from someone I know, and she articulated very helpful,
which is just being there, not really living, not talking
about it, and it's it's important for loved ones to
realize that it's not necessary to talk about it or
asked about it as a way of showing empathy or
(32:26):
compassion for just being there and if you like resuming
normal life, even though it's not any more than normal lifestyle.
You know.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
One of the things you've also talked about in the
past is that the duration of a trauma has a
direct impact on how it will the symptoms will be
presented later. These fires are sort of taking forever to
be put out, and even those who are partially traumatized
as onlooker spectators, news consumers, is the fact that this
(33:00):
is going on for so long making it harder for
all of us.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I think that in many people in me, include itself,
it was inconceivable that might have would ever be threatened
as if apparently was in the safe zone, there was
no brush, no opportunity for a wildfire, and so seeing
the power of nature and the protracted nature and the
inability of the fire department to curb it, and it
(33:30):
just spreading. That's a wake up call, and it challenges
many deep seated assumptions of control. And we know, of course,
control is a very powerful antidote to stress. The absence
of control not only engenders fear, it changes our brain activity.
(33:53):
We know that control is helpful in terms of dampening
down the emotional areas of the brain, and the opposite
of that, lack of control enhances that activity in the
emotional areas of the brain. And all of that is
going to protract to translate into the potential for both
emotional and physical changes over time, which we don't want
(34:17):
in terms of subsequent health problems.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yes, so one of the things I teach is psychology
of health counseling, where we talk about how the mind
and the body talk to each other and long term
effects can happen to physical health because of mental trauma.
You say, in particular with young people with developing brains,
with children. Correct.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Yeah, So adverse childhood experiences not just impactful at the time,
but they can have enjoying effects over the whole lifetime.
And so particularly with children, and this lot of child's
loss of home, lots of lifestyle, the awakening of something
that's really antithetical to good health as a child, the
(35:05):
fact that parents can't protect them from laws, from the trauma,
from the uprooting. All of that requires careful handling of
the child to restore a sense of what doesn't really exist,
but it is necessary for childhood, which is the sense of certainty, control,
(35:25):
safety and protection on the part of our parents and
other authority figures.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
In fact. So we have to go to a break,
but when we come back, I would like to talk
about how parents can react to their kids and what
all of us can do, and particularly people like you
who have lost your home, to maintain routines and keep
their mental health intact in the ensuing weeks and months ahead.
My guest is doctor Anthony Redding, ucla professor psychologist and
(35:53):
an international expert on trauma. You're listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh.
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Dr. Wendy Walsh on Demand News
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