September 8, 2025 • 33 mins
Hour 1- Dr. Wendy is giving the psychology behind Will and Jada who we're spotted out recently, Taylor Swift breeding with Travis Kelce, Dating app success, PLUS we're getting some Wendy wisdom with her drive by makeshift relationship advice. It's all on KFIAM-640!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app AFI Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walsh Show. If you're new to my show, I got
a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm a psychology professor. I've
(00:22):
written three books on relationships and I am totally obsessed
with the science of love. On today's show, do you
have a problem with your mother in law, I've got
an expert who can help you make sense of things. Also,
there was a celebrity wedding yesterday that included all the
famous and infamous family members and a thirty year career
(00:45):
banker and former athlete gets roasted for making a pot roast.
I'll explain, producer Kayla you with us, of course. Hi,
doctor Wendy. So do you know why actor Will Smith
and Jada Pinkett went to NOBU? Why legally married?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Doctor Wendy, Wait, you cut out.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You got to say again? Why?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Well?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I think that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are
still technically married, right, Yeah, Their life partners.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
They sworn to stay together for life, no matter what
the status of the relationship is.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I read both their books. Although they've told the world
they haven't lived in the same residence for about seven years,
right right, The last time they were seen together in
public was a lunch in Calabasis. And if you go
online to all the gossip columns and ask to see
(01:42):
pictures of that, you will see that they didn't expect
that they were going to get found out by paparazzi
for having lunch last October, because she does not look
happy and they're not dressed for the occasion, and clearly
they were bamboozled. Okay, so this ten months later, they
(02:02):
go for lunch at No Boo Malibu, stand around the
valet park or forever waiting for their car, smiling, laughing,
looking happy. Now when I see that, my little antennas
go up, because I'm like, why why did they have
(02:23):
to do a celebrity march in front of the paparazzi.
We're talking about No Boom Malibu. You drive by there
any day of the week, it's loaded with paparazzi. They
could have chosen any hole in the wall to go reconnect.
She was in a gorgeous designer sun dress that went
all the way to our ankle's gold sandals, this kind
of hood thing. She looked like right off the runway.
(02:44):
He looked gorgeous. They made a point of looking really happy. Okay,
So Kayla, if you saw this, what would you think?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Unfortunately, I think as a publicity stunt, although I am
rooting for those two.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
So I'm a little googling, you know, little googling, Yeah,
because I'm like, there's always a reason I know how
Hollywood works. I've been in this town for decades. What
did you find? So Will Smith and his company Westbrook
have signed a first look multi picture deal with Paramount
Pictures to develop global theatrical films for both the big
screen and streaming. The deal focuses on franchise driven projects
(03:23):
and intellectual property based on stories intended as starring vehicles
for Will Smith. Two projects are already in development, one
called Sugar Bandits another called rabbit Hole. And So gets
what they're trying to do. They're trying to rehab him
in the public eye. Right, So Jada comes out and says,
(03:47):
you know, we always have a connection. In fact, that
slap that happened at the Academy Awards in twenty twenty two.
Her you know, she's this is her quote. After all
those years of trying to figure out I would leave
Will's side, it took that slap for me to see
I would never leave him. I don't know. Do you
(04:09):
know who owns Paramount Pictures Who did this deal? By
the way, Yeah, Larry Ellison, the founder of Oracle's son
David Ellison. They're all reported to be buddy buddy with
Donald Trump, who is the king of rehabbing images in
the media. So they've got some friends and family to
take lessons from. So let's watch. Will Smith is going
(04:32):
to come out. He's going to be everywhere now because
they're starting to get him ready for us to buy
tickets to his movies. Well, yeah, he's been.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
He's been getting a lot of negative feedback lately, outside
of the slap of Chris Rock. His album isn't being
that well received. And then he posted him at a
concert and it was dug into that he used AI
crowd and they're just saying that he's super desperate to
kind of get who he was back and I guess.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Well, he signed a deal, so he's probably he got
a publicity machine behind him, and I guess lunch at
Nobu helped me. Okay and happier. Well, good luck to them,
good luck to both of them. May they be best
friends forever, living separately. May he resurrect his career. Fine,
enjoy I just know how it all works, all right,
But bigger news to me. You know who got married yesterday?
(05:21):
Patrick Schwarzenegger. Really that cutie from the White Lotus. Oh,
I was thinking Arnold Wart Arnold's son Patrick Hoti. Yes,
he's thirty one years old. His wife is twenty eight.
They had an intimate lakeside wedding overlooking Lake Cordelaine in
(05:43):
northern Idaho on a ranch in Idaho. Now, gotta understand
they have been together since twoenty fifteen. That's ten years.
He was twenty one, he was a twenty one year
old baby, and he blew up in fame and he
didn't dump her. Isn't this amazing? Travison Taylor, This is
(06:03):
so exciting to be a long term, ten year relationship.
They got engaged back in twenty twenty three, so they've
been a long engagement two years long. Back then, he
proposed on a beach surrounded by rose petals and a
rose heart. So in the wedding, apparently Abbey wore a
classic white gown. He was dressed in a white tuxedo.
(06:24):
Now here's who is there? Which is interesting. I'm reading
the guest list that's been leaked to all the very
important tabloids. By the way, there are very few pictures
they had that thing. They must have had it on
such lockdown. If you go online trying to look for
pictures of the wedding, your only I only found two
blurry ones, clearly taken by a guest cell phone, that
(06:46):
they leaked because nothing, They didn't do any publicity for it.
So who was there? His dad, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has
also been rehabbed in the family eyes. Apparently apparently he's
a great guy to them and loves it. They love
their dad. His mom, Maria shut Catherine Schwarzenegger Pratt and
her husband Chris Pratt is sister's married to Chris Pratt,
(07:07):
and his little brother Joseph Buena. Do you know who
Joseph Boyne is? Kyla, I don't know who that is? Okay,
how old were you when the whole crisis drama trauma
happened that he or Arnold Schwarzenegger, was married to Maria Shriver.
Maria's housekeeper got pregnant at the same time, and the
(07:28):
two women shared their pregnancy and how cute it was.
And then like a few years into the looking at
that baby, Maria looked at Arnold and said, that baby's
starting to look like you. Mm hmmm. He got the
maid pregnant and he was hiding it, and she was
right in the house pregnant with them the whole time.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Anyways, that son would be Patrick's half brother and apparently
he's all welcome, welcome into the family, which is great.
Never blame the baby for stuff like that. Also, close
buddies and colleagues, Rob Low, Jason Isaacs remember his coast
from The White Lotus, the kid who he pretended to
have sex ooh, I know, and the whole you know
(08:05):
that scene that was so hard for us to watch. Anyway,
that actor was there too. Anyway, Congratulations, I love this
We at this wedding and this marriage. Keeping it a
secret was great. Being together for ten years was great.
Having a two year engagement was great. I hope they
didn't suddenly get married to try to save the relationship
(08:25):
because unless people do that when it's starting to fall apart,
then they're like, let's have a wedding being a brick
to No, I'm not even gonna wish that on them. Hey,
when we come back, do you know who Donna Blallock is?
Blallock the L A L O c K. You're gonna
know you do know her? You know her? I promise
you know her. I want to talk about her when
we come back. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show on KFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on
(08:48):
the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty. You have Doctor
Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show.
I want to tell you a story about a little
girl from Cleveland. She's someone you know. She happens to
be seventy two years old now, but originally she was
a little girl from Cleveland whose mom died when she
(09:11):
was twelve. After that tragedy, she was raised by her
father and his new wife, her stepmother Mary. It was
reported that her dad really opposed women participating in sports.
But the problem was this little Donna, as she was called,
(09:33):
was very athletic. Luckily, her stepmother Mary really supported her,
and Donna joined the track and field team in middle school.
By high school, she was so talented she even competed
in the Junior Olympics. But Donna was also smart. She
(09:57):
became the first in her family to graduate from co College.
In fact, she earned a degree in radio and television
from Ohio University. Later she went on to graduate school
when women didn't do that. She got an MBA and
after that she had a thirty year career in banking.
She worked for MasterCard. Later she worked in commercial real
(10:20):
estate finance. Oh By the way, along the way, she
got married, had a couple kids. Luckily, those kids kind
of got her athletic genes. Cool, But you only know
Donna for one thing, and I'll bet you only know
her by her married name, Donna Kelsey. Yep, the mom
(10:42):
of NFL players Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelcey, and the
soon to be mother in law of Taylor Swift. By
the way, later in the show, we're going to talk
to a therapist who has a new book out about
how to have a good relationship with your mother in law.
Maybe Taylor should read it. But this week Donna, Travis's mom,
(11:04):
was in the news. Well, apparently, as moms are wont
to do, she accidentally posted an adorable clip from a
live show with comedian Leanne Morgan. I love Leanne Morgan
with her Southern accent and her just down to basics
life advice. She's great. But this clip was about Taylor's
(11:28):
soon to be mother in law. So Donna posts this
clip because it's about her and it's funny and it's cute.
And then within a few minutes Donna immediately took it down.
Who did she get a ping from? Why? Let's listen
to see what she might have been embarrassed about.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
You know, want her eaters is? I can I know
what it is you're talking about. Taylor Firs.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Is aching and she wants a baby. She wants a baby,
and it's time. It's time for her to want a baby.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
And she wants to breed with that big old Kelsey boy.
Of course she does, of course she does.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
They're both tall.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
I mean, I could say it, but don't y'all know
that Taylor Swift looks at that big old Kelsey boy's
mama and thinks, look at her, She's got on a
sensible shoe. She's got on a sensible shoe and a
(12:48):
nice jean, a high waist with some stretch. And don't
you know that Taylor Swift is thinking, I know that
little doll put in aunt roast before, in the Kronk
pot before she came to this NFL football game, so
that they would have something to eat when this thing
(13:09):
was over. And you know that his mama browned. She
browned that roast and a skillet with flower. I know,
of course she wants to have a baby with Haim
and his paper.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And his papal. Oh my gosh. I loved that bit
so much. I laughed out loud, partly because I'm a
cook and we did all kinds of pot roast my
whole life. And it was only when I went to
culinary school during like the recession or something, that I
learned that you're supposed to brown it in flour and
butter before you put it in the oven. Anyway, So
(13:52):
what Leanne was basically saying, and a lot of people
maybe get upset about it because I said it also
in a TikTok video that I'm in, and there was
some pushback on it. Is she's thirty Taylor's thirty five
years old. I think so is Travis. They have a
need to breed, right, and people are like, oh, why
are you say that? Like, are we just supposed to
ignore the fact that women have a fertility window. I
(14:12):
don't get it. Leanne can say it right. But then
I thought about something else, because you heard me talk
about Donna's illustrious career, the fact that she's the athletic
genes that led to her two sons. Has this former
athlete and career banker been reduced to a pop roast
chef or has she been elevated? It's fabulous, mom. I mean,
(14:38):
I think we can have both, can't we? But please,
somebody tell me why she took down this clip so quickly.
Who said what, Kayla? Do you have any idea? No idea?
Maybe because Leanne was talking about her Taylor's uterus aching
and they need to have a baby, and maybe somebody
(14:59):
in the family said, you can't be saying that. Nope,
don't put pressure on them. I mean it was an homedy.
I don't know. That's that's a little extra, don't you think? Yeah, mate,
I hope it is not that they didn't want Donna
to get the limelight. M is Dona was getting the
limelight all of a sudden right after that proposal. I
hope that's not the case. Can't be. I think it
(15:22):
was now. I think it was that pressure, that need
to breed kind of thing. Yeah, Anyway, I love Leanne Morgan.
I just really love that comedian. Follow her on wherever
on social media. Go see her at one of her shows.
She is fabulous. And Donna Blallock the l A l
(15:44):
O c K. You think that's how you say it, Blallock,
Donna Kelsey, we love you too, whether you put in
a pot roast or not. But the main thing Lena
Leanne said there is that Taylor wanted to join that tribe.
That she's an indication that Taylor was marrying the right
person because of his mother, because of his tribe, and
(16:07):
that I loved Hey. When we come back, there's some
new research out showing that the kinds of relationships that
begin on dating apps are a little different than relationships
that start in the real world. I'll explain when we
come back. You are listening to the Doctor Andy Waalsh
Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on
(16:29):
the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
KFI AM six forty you have doctor Andy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Kayla, I love
that song. I could just listen to it all day. Sam,
you like it too, don't you? It's beautiful. I think
we're both we were hummon in the back. Who sings that?
Who sings that song?
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Anna?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What's the name? Sam Na? Anna Klendending. That's the one
I have a hard time saying. That's why I gave
it to you. I just want to cry when I
hear it. Okay, I just want to tell remind everybody
that I met my now husband Julio on Bumble. It's
a dating app and I accidentally used a dating strategy
(17:16):
that many young women use because they know how to
use it. But I made the mistake and it is this.
Bumble is an app where the woman has to talk first,
and if she doesn't send a message after a match
is made within twenty four hours, then that match kind
of goes away, so doesn't really go away for the women.
(17:37):
And I didn't know this, so lots of women out
there wait the twenty four hours, because they know that
men use dating apps differently than women do. When women
use a dating app, they study his picture. They read
into his language and his metaphors and what's he trying
to say and his description. We get the background as
(18:01):
much as the man, right, Like I remember the picture
that Julio that I liked. There was a full length
one and he was standing on some steps with some
you know, Greek doric columns, and it looked like a
classical architecture building. And I was like, okay, so he
appreciates architecture. This is good. And later he told me
(18:22):
that that was a visit back to Cornell campus where
he went to college, and he had been visiting back then.
He also had a picture of him in his old car,
and I remember just thinking, oh my god, I hope
that's not his car. It's this old car. Oh my god.
Turns out it's a very rare classic Porsche from nineteen
sixty three. Porsche sorry, sorry, Julio from nineteen seventy three
(18:45):
or something. To me, it was an old car. I
didn't know. But anyway, so one day I was using
the app and I opened it up and it was
during COVID and just cooked dinner for my daughter's and
went to my room. They were now ignoring me with
their movies. I had my little glass of wine and
there were these grade out faces at the top, and
(19:07):
this is when I learned that the match doesn't actually
go away for the women, and I clicked on one
of them. It was Julio. He thinks it's just the
weirdest lottery that I clicked on one of them. But
there are plenty of women out there who always let
the match expire because women study the profile so closely,
and men just match on every single woman and wait
to see who's interested in them. So don't get excited,
(19:30):
ladies when you first get on a dating app where
you're like, I am killing it. Wow, I have so
many matches, this is amazing. No. No, the guys use
it by matching with every single woman. They swipe right,
swipe right, yes, yes, yes, until a woman matches with
them right. That's just how it goes. So a lot
of women wait to the match expires and then see
(19:51):
if he tries to rematch, which apparently Julio did a
bunch of times, and I didn't even know that anyway,
it's not new that our marriage began online. But back
in nineteen ninety eight, only two percent of American marriages
began online. By two thousand and eight, about twenty percent
(20:11):
began online. In twenty seventeen, a full fifty percent of
marriages began online. Now it's even more than that. Okay, However,
this new study, of course I always read those journals,
says the studies called meeting partners online is related to
lower relationship satisfaction and love data from fifty countries. Oh
(20:35):
those those researchers don't even build a teas in their
title too, did they just tell you the whole results
and the methodology in one sentence. So this was just
published in the scientific journal Telematics and Infomatics, and it
focused on the question of whether meeting a romantic partner
online affects the relationship quality down the road compared to
(20:59):
if you had met the person in the real world offline.
So the researchers analyzed data from fifty different countries. This
is important because then it's cross cultural human research. And
more than sixty six hundred people participated in a study
where they answered a battery of questions about their relationship right.
(21:20):
They basically asked them about the intensity of their love
and their overall satisfaction and with their relationship. What they
found is that people who had met online or sorry
offline in the real world reported much higher relationship satisfaction
and were more in love with their partners than the
(21:41):
couples who had met online. Huh, a little side effect.
It was stronger for men than women, this fact all right,
So the researchers had to speculate why this would be.
It doesn't apply to me because I have a very
happy marriage and I'm so happy I met him. Why well,
(22:02):
paradox of choice, Right, people who date online might feel
absolutely confused by choice overload and focus too much on
physical attractiveness not character. That can lead to bad partner choices. Also,
people lie on dating apps, right. They lie about their age,
their height, their weight, how much money they make because
they're just trying to get their fishing right. They're casting
(22:25):
a line and then they'll tell the truth later. However,
if you start a relationship based on a lie, even
a small, little white lie, that's a problem. You have
trouble maintaining trust. Also on the side of people who
meet in real life, people who meet in real life
might have shared interests because they often meet in places
(22:47):
where they have something in common. So I guess I'm saying,
get out there, meet someone in the real world. Start
by reaching out to your friends and family. Leverage your
social network. Tell people just fix me up. I don't
care who it's which is fix me up. Join clubs,
sports leagues, hiking group, get in with groups, groups right,
cooking classes, volunteer organization. I always tell men, please go
(23:11):
on a breast cancer walk. It's like ten men for
every twenty thousand women. Seriously, go on and go where
conversations make sense. I mean, you're not going to talk
to somebody in a library and start up a conversation.
Coffee shops, bookstores, farmers' markets, any community events where you
can smile, make eye contact and start a conversation. And
(23:31):
I've always said volunteering is really important because it's showcases
empathy and compassion, which is highly attractive to mates. All right,
So get out there in the real world. Hey, when
we come back, I am going to my social media
to answer your relationship questions. Send me a DM on
(23:52):
my Instagram. Producer Kayla, You're going to be checking checking
the Instagram. The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh. At
Dr Wendy Walsh. Let's get to your love life when
we come back. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
I'm a KFI sixty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. Okay,
(24:16):
this is the part of the show. We're a head
on to the dms of my social media and I
answer your relationship questions. Please don't worry. I always keep
your identity anonymous, and I am honored that you allow
me to weigh in on your love life. Little caveat.
I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor, but I
am obsessed with the science of love. So here we go.
(24:39):
If you want to send me a question, send it
on Instagram. Producer Kayla's check in there at Dr Wendy Walsh.
That's at doctor Wendy Walsh on Instagram. All right up, first, Hi,
doctor Wendy, how do you know if the way you
naturally show love or care is actually being received? I
(25:01):
tend to express love through small acts or checking in,
but I often feel like it's invisible or not valued.
How can I better understand or align with someone else's
quotation language of affection without feeling like I'm performing My
boyfriend doesn't seem to appreciate what I do. Well, there's
(25:23):
a whole lot to unpack there. It's a good question.
First off, I think you're referring to the love languages thing.
It hasn't been proven by science, it's not reliable or
valid across different relationships. It's a little bit of hocus focus. So, however,
having said that, some people believe it's a nice framework
(25:43):
to think about love. So what you want to know
is does the person feel loved because you are expressing
love through small acts of kindness or by checking in
a lot, and you think that he doesn't appreciate this
from you. Well, the first piece of love is good communication,
(26:11):
and so I think you want to ask him in
a concrete way, never a general way, like you know,
it feels like I'm checking in with you all the
time and it seems like you don't really care, or
you know, I ran those errands for you and it
feels like you didn't even notice. No, no, no, no, no,
how about asking a question like, how do you most
(26:31):
feel loved? You know I love you? Right, are any
of the things that I do for you? Like yesterday
when I la la la, what'd that feel like to you?
And then shut up and listen. And if you get
a shoulder shrug and a guy that goes fine, I
guess that's cool, then you know he received it and
that's love for him. On the other hand, I want
(26:54):
to remind you when you mentioned small acts and checking in,
you might want to find out if he feels smothered
by too much of this checking in stuff, if he
feels engulfed. So that's to ask ask him, Hey, do
I text too much? How does that feel to you?
(27:15):
What's that like for you? Just ask you might be
surprised with what you hear. All right, Moving to the
next listener's question. Dear doctor Wendy, I've noticed some conflicts
in my relationships keep repeating even when we try to
move on, whether it's his communication or my past discretions.
(27:38):
We talk in circles. Is it possible that we're trying
to solve the wrong issue on the surface when something
deeper is actually going on unspoken? Yeah, and that's for
you and a couple's counselor to figure out. Like you, Okay,
So I have this friend, I think she's been on
the show a few times, doctor Robbie Ludwig in New
(27:59):
York City, and she's a psychotherapist. She works with lots
and lots of couples. And I asked her what time
one time, what is it, doctor Robbie, what is the
most common marital problem that people bring to your practice?
And her answer surprised me. She said, it doesn't matter
(28:19):
what it is, it just never goes away. I was like, well,
so you're not like helping people fix their problems, and
she said, no, all we want to do is help
manage the feelings around the problems, and that's an inside
job for each of you individually. Right. So, but I
(28:40):
there's a little red flag that went up for me.
I've helped felt my ears going me me, me, me,
mean when I read this sentence, you said, whether it's
his communication or my past discretions, I think you mean indiscretions. Okay,
we talk in circles. So is he throwing the past
(29:02):
at you to ship away at your self esteem? That's
an issue that's a problem you have to get pasted
now his communication style. You can't take an introvert and
turn them into an extrovert. You can't take somebody who
doesn't have emotional relationship skills and just demand that they
suddenly have that. Skills can be learned, but they have
(29:24):
to want to, right. I think the two of you
might want to get into therapy and figure out as
you're asking, if there is something deeper, something that's not
being spoken, because ah, my money's on the fact that
there is there's something else happening. But as doctor Robbie says,
just learn to manage your feelings around it because it
(29:46):
apparently never goes away. Okay, moving on, this listener asks me,
Dear doctor Wendy, I struggle with vulnerability. How do I
open up emotionally without feeling like you're handing over all
your power? Oh? Interesting choice of words, Especially in relationships
where I've been hurt before. I keep walls up and
(30:09):
I'm scared I'm pushing people away. Well, sadly, you probably
are pushing people away because they don't get to see you.
They just see the wall, so they don't even know you. Right.
How interesting that you use the words how do I
open up emotionally without feeling like you're handing over all
the power. Actually, you've got it wrong. The power position
(30:36):
is in the vulnerability as long as you can learn
to tolerate manufactured feelings of shame. So, for instance, you
open up and you're honest about your feelings and they
put you down, make fun of you, or dismiss your feelings.
You have manufactured a feeling of shame now and embarrassment.
(30:59):
Nobody can make you have a feeling. Okay, you manufactured it.
So once you learn to tolerate that, tolerate the shame,
you can get a lot of information because here you
are opening up and they're not able to reciprocate. So
you know you're in the power position, and you're in
the position to be able to go, I'm out of here.
(31:20):
This doesn't feel good to me. This is not a
relationship that satisfies me. I promise you. The power position
is in the vulnerability because people who can't tolerate intimacy disappear,
and then you should do the touchdown cheer because they're
not right for you. It's like a litmus test. I'll
(31:42):
show my feelings, my openness, my vulnerability, I'll put that
plate out there on the table and let's see if
they take a bite. Let's see if they add to
the plate. Let's see what happens. And if you don't
get the reaction that you deserve, which is emotional intimacy back,
then you're saved. You can move along, missy, move along right.
(32:07):
Do not be afraid to be open, honest and vulnerable
from the very beginning. Now, I want to give one
a little caveat There are some people who are so
good at being vulnerable that they trauma dump way too early.
This is different. Being open, honest and vulnerable is being
(32:28):
able to say, let's say somebody asks you a really
personal question, instead of laughing, making a joke, changing the
subject just on not answering at all, you might say
something like, you know, that's a really sensitive question for me,
and I hope to get to know you well enough
to be able to answer it fully. That's called being open, honest, vulnerable,
(32:51):
and having boundaries. Right. So I'm not asking you to
just dump all your trauma on a near stranger. I
am asking you to be aware of your feelings, right,
Just be aware of your feelings, all right? When we
come back I am going to continue to answer your
questions from Instagram. Send me a DM at doctor Wendy
(33:13):
Walsh dot com and I'll weigh in. You are listening
to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six
forty WeLive everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Right now, let's
go to the twenty four hour KFI Newsroom.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty
This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app AFI Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy
Walsh Show. If you're new to my show, I got
a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm a psychology professor. I've
(00:22):
written three books on relationships and I am totally obsessed
with the science of love. On today's show, do you
have a problem with your mother in law, I've got
an expert who can help you make sense of things. Also,
there was a celebrity wedding yesterday that included all the
famous and infamous family members and a thirty year career
(00:45):
banker and former athlete gets roasted for making a pot roast.
I'll explain, producer Kayla you with us, of course. Hi,
doctor Wendy. So do you know why actor Will Smith
and Jada Pinkett went to NOBU? Why legally married?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Doctor Wendy, Wait, you cut out.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You got to say again? Why?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Well?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I think that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are
still technically married, right, Yeah, Their life partners.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
They sworn to stay together for life, no matter what
the status of the relationship is.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I read both their books. Although they've told the world
they haven't lived in the same residence for about seven years,
right right, The last time they were seen together in
public was a lunch in Calabasis. And if you go
online to all the gossip columns and ask to see
(01:42):
pictures of that, you will see that they didn't expect
that they were going to get found out by paparazzi
for having lunch last October, because she does not look
happy and they're not dressed for the occasion, and clearly
they were bamboozled. Okay, so this ten months later, they
(02:02):
go for lunch at No Boo Malibu, stand around the
valet park or forever waiting for their car, smiling, laughing,
looking happy. Now when I see that, my little antennas
go up, because I'm like, why why did they have
(02:23):
to do a celebrity march in front of the paparazzi.
We're talking about No Boom Malibu. You drive by there
any day of the week, it's loaded with paparazzi. They
could have chosen any hole in the wall to go reconnect.
She was in a gorgeous designer sun dress that went
all the way to our ankle's gold sandals, this kind
of hood thing. She looked like right off the runway.
(02:44):
He looked gorgeous. They made a point of looking really happy. Okay,
So Kayla, if you saw this, what would you think?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Unfortunately, I think as a publicity stunt, although I am
rooting for those two.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
So I'm a little googling, you know, little googling, Yeah,
because I'm like, there's always a reason I know how
Hollywood works. I've been in this town for decades. What
did you find? So Will Smith and his company Westbrook
have signed a first look multi picture deal with Paramount
Pictures to develop global theatrical films for both the big
screen and streaming. The deal focuses on franchise driven projects
(03:23):
and intellectual property based on stories intended as starring vehicles
for Will Smith. Two projects are already in development, one
called Sugar Bandits another called rabbit Hole. And So gets
what they're trying to do. They're trying to rehab him
in the public eye. Right, So Jada comes out and says,
(03:47):
you know, we always have a connection. In fact, that
slap that happened at the Academy Awards in twenty twenty two.
Her you know, she's this is her quote. After all
those years of trying to figure out I would leave
Will's side, it took that slap for me to see
I would never leave him. I don't know. Do you
(04:09):
know who owns Paramount Pictures Who did this deal? By
the way, Yeah, Larry Ellison, the founder of Oracle's son
David Ellison. They're all reported to be buddy buddy with
Donald Trump, who is the king of rehabbing images in
the media. So they've got some friends and family to
take lessons from. So let's watch. Will Smith is going
(04:32):
to come out. He's going to be everywhere now because
they're starting to get him ready for us to buy
tickets to his movies. Well, yeah, he's been.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
He's been getting a lot of negative feedback lately, outside
of the slap of Chris Rock. His album isn't being
that well received. And then he posted him at a
concert and it was dug into that he used AI
crowd and they're just saying that he's super desperate to
kind of get who he was back and I guess.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Well, he signed a deal, so he's probably he got
a publicity machine behind him, and I guess lunch at
Nobu helped me. Okay and happier. Well, good luck to them,
good luck to both of them. May they be best
friends forever, living separately. May he resurrect his career. Fine,
enjoy I just know how it all works, all right,
But bigger news to me. You know who got married yesterday?
(05:21):
Patrick Schwarzenegger. Really that cutie from the White Lotus. Oh,
I was thinking Arnold Wart Arnold's son Patrick Hoti. Yes,
he's thirty one years old. His wife is twenty eight.
They had an intimate lakeside wedding overlooking Lake Cordelaine in
(05:43):
northern Idaho on a ranch in Idaho. Now, gotta understand
they have been together since twoenty fifteen. That's ten years.
He was twenty one, he was a twenty one year
old baby, and he blew up in fame and he
didn't dump her. Isn't this amazing? Travison Taylor, This is
(06:03):
so exciting to be a long term, ten year relationship.
They got engaged back in twenty twenty three, so they've
been a long engagement two years long. Back then, he
proposed on a beach surrounded by rose petals and a
rose heart. So in the wedding, apparently Abbey wore a
classic white gown. He was dressed in a white tuxedo.
(06:24):
Now here's who is there? Which is interesting. I'm reading
the guest list that's been leaked to all the very
important tabloids. By the way, there are very few pictures
they had that thing. They must have had it on
such lockdown. If you go online trying to look for
pictures of the wedding, your only I only found two
blurry ones, clearly taken by a guest cell phone, that
(06:46):
they leaked because nothing, They didn't do any publicity for it.
So who was there? His dad, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has
also been rehabbed in the family eyes. Apparently apparently he's
a great guy to them and loves it. They love
their dad. His mom, Maria shut Catherine Schwarzenegger Pratt and
her husband Chris Pratt is sister's married to Chris Pratt,
(07:07):
and his little brother Joseph Buena. Do you know who
Joseph Boyne is? Kyla, I don't know who that is? Okay,
how old were you when the whole crisis drama trauma
happened that he or Arnold Schwarzenegger, was married to Maria Shriver.
Maria's housekeeper got pregnant at the same time, and the
(07:28):
two women shared their pregnancy and how cute it was.
And then like a few years into the looking at
that baby, Maria looked at Arnold and said, that baby's
starting to look like you. Mm hmmm. He got the
maid pregnant and he was hiding it, and she was
right in the house pregnant with them the whole time.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Anyways, that son would be Patrick's half brother and apparently
he's all welcome, welcome into the family, which is great.
Never blame the baby for stuff like that. Also, close
buddies and colleagues, Rob Low, Jason Isaacs remember his coast
from The White Lotus, the kid who he pretended to
have sex ooh, I know, and the whole you know
(08:05):
that scene that was so hard for us to watch. Anyway,
that actor was there too. Anyway, Congratulations, I love this
We at this wedding and this marriage. Keeping it a
secret was great. Being together for ten years was great.
Having a two year engagement was great. I hope they
didn't suddenly get married to try to save the relationship
(08:25):
because unless people do that when it's starting to fall apart,
then they're like, let's have a wedding being a brick
to No, I'm not even gonna wish that on them. Hey,
when we come back, do you know who Donna Blallock is?
Blallock the L A L O c K. You're gonna
know you do know her? You know her? I promise
you know her. I want to talk about her when
we come back. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show on KFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on
(08:48):
the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty. You have Doctor
Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show.
I want to tell you a story about a little
girl from Cleveland. She's someone you know. She happens to
be seventy two years old now, but originally she was
a little girl from Cleveland whose mom died when she
(09:11):
was twelve. After that tragedy, she was raised by her
father and his new wife, her stepmother Mary. It was
reported that her dad really opposed women participating in sports.
But the problem was this little Donna, as she was called,
(09:33):
was very athletic. Luckily, her stepmother Mary really supported her,
and Donna joined the track and field team in middle school.
By high school, she was so talented she even competed
in the Junior Olympics. But Donna was also smart. She
(09:57):
became the first in her family to graduate from co College.
In fact, she earned a degree in radio and television
from Ohio University. Later she went on to graduate school
when women didn't do that. She got an MBA and
after that she had a thirty year career in banking.
She worked for MasterCard. Later she worked in commercial real
(10:20):
estate finance. Oh By the way, along the way, she
got married, had a couple kids. Luckily, those kids kind
of got her athletic genes. Cool, But you only know
Donna for one thing, and I'll bet you only know
her by her married name, Donna Kelsey. Yep, the mom
(10:42):
of NFL players Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelcey, and the
soon to be mother in law of Taylor Swift. By
the way, later in the show, we're going to talk
to a therapist who has a new book out about
how to have a good relationship with your mother in law.
Maybe Taylor should read it. But this week Donna, Travis's mom,
(11:04):
was in the news. Well, apparently, as moms are wont
to do, she accidentally posted an adorable clip from a
live show with comedian Leanne Morgan. I love Leanne Morgan
with her Southern accent and her just down to basics
life advice. She's great. But this clip was about Taylor's
(11:28):
soon to be mother in law. So Donna posts this
clip because it's about her and it's funny and it's cute.
And then within a few minutes Donna immediately took it down.
Who did she get a ping from? Why? Let's listen
to see what she might have been embarrassed about.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
You know, want her eaters is? I can I know
what it is you're talking about. Taylor Firs.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Is aching and she wants a baby. She wants a baby,
and it's time. It's time for her to want a baby.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
And she wants to breed with that big old Kelsey boy.
Of course she does, of course she does.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
They're both tall.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
I mean, I could say it, but don't y'all know
that Taylor Swift looks at that big old Kelsey boy's
mama and thinks, look at her, She's got on a
sensible shoe. She's got on a sensible shoe and a
(12:48):
nice jean, a high waist with some stretch. And don't
you know that Taylor Swift is thinking, I know that
little doll put in aunt roast before, in the Kronk
pot before she came to this NFL football game, so
that they would have something to eat when this thing
(13:09):
was over. And you know that his mama browned. She
browned that roast and a skillet with flower. I know,
of course she wants to have a baby with Haim
and his paper.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And his papal. Oh my gosh. I loved that bit
so much. I laughed out loud, partly because I'm a
cook and we did all kinds of pot roast my
whole life. And it was only when I went to
culinary school during like the recession or something, that I
learned that you're supposed to brown it in flour and
butter before you put it in the oven. Anyway, So
(13:52):
what Leanne was basically saying, and a lot of people
maybe get upset about it because I said it also
in a TikTok video that I'm in, and there was
some pushback on it. Is she's thirty Taylor's thirty five
years old. I think so is Travis. They have a
need to breed, right, and people are like, oh, why
are you say that? Like, are we just supposed to
ignore the fact that women have a fertility window. I
(14:12):
don't get it. Leanne can say it right. But then
I thought about something else, because you heard me talk
about Donna's illustrious career, the fact that she's the athletic
genes that led to her two sons. Has this former
athlete and career banker been reduced to a pop roast
chef or has she been elevated? It's fabulous, mom. I mean,
(14:38):
I think we can have both, can't we? But please,
somebody tell me why she took down this clip so quickly.
Who said what, Kayla? Do you have any idea? No idea?
Maybe because Leanne was talking about her Taylor's uterus aching
and they need to have a baby, and maybe somebody
(14:59):
in the family said, you can't be saying that. Nope,
don't put pressure on them. I mean it was an homedy.
I don't know. That's that's a little extra, don't you think? Yeah, mate,
I hope it is not that they didn't want Donna
to get the limelight. M is Dona was getting the
limelight all of a sudden right after that proposal. I
hope that's not the case. Can't be. I think it
(15:22):
was now. I think it was that pressure, that need
to breed kind of thing. Yeah, Anyway, I love Leanne Morgan.
I just really love that comedian. Follow her on wherever
on social media. Go see her at one of her shows.
She is fabulous. And Donna Blallock the l A l
(15:44):
O c K. You think that's how you say it, Blallock,
Donna Kelsey, we love you too, whether you put in
a pot roast or not. But the main thing Lena
Leanne said there is that Taylor wanted to join that tribe.
That she's an indication that Taylor was marrying the right
person because of his mother, because of his tribe, and
(16:07):
that I loved Hey. When we come back, there's some
new research out showing that the kinds of relationships that
begin on dating apps are a little different than relationships
that start in the real world. I'll explain when we
come back. You are listening to the Doctor Andy Waalsh
Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on
(16:29):
the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
KFI AM six forty you have doctor Andy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Kayla, I love
that song. I could just listen to it all day. Sam,
you like it too, don't you? It's beautiful. I think
we're both we were hummon in the back. Who sings that?
Who sings that song?
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Anna?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What's the name? Sam Na? Anna Klendending. That's the one
I have a hard time saying. That's why I gave
it to you. I just want to cry when I
hear it. Okay, I just want to tell remind everybody
that I met my now husband Julio on Bumble. It's
a dating app and I accidentally used a dating strategy
(17:16):
that many young women use because they know how to
use it. But I made the mistake and it is this.
Bumble is an app where the woman has to talk first,
and if she doesn't send a message after a match
is made within twenty four hours, then that match kind
of goes away, so doesn't really go away for the women.
(17:37):
And I didn't know this, so lots of women out
there wait the twenty four hours, because they know that
men use dating apps differently than women do. When women
use a dating app, they study his picture. They read
into his language and his metaphors and what's he trying
to say and his description. We get the background as
(18:01):
much as the man, right, Like I remember the picture
that Julio that I liked. There was a full length
one and he was standing on some steps with some
you know, Greek doric columns, and it looked like a
classical architecture building. And I was like, okay, so he
appreciates architecture. This is good. And later he told me
(18:22):
that that was a visit back to Cornell campus where
he went to college, and he had been visiting back then.
He also had a picture of him in his old car,
and I remember just thinking, oh my god, I hope
that's not his car. It's this old car. Oh my god.
Turns out it's a very rare classic Porsche from nineteen
sixty three. Porsche sorry, sorry, Julio from nineteen seventy three
(18:45):
or something. To me, it was an old car. I
didn't know. But anyway, so one day I was using
the app and I opened it up and it was
during COVID and just cooked dinner for my daughter's and
went to my room. They were now ignoring me with
their movies. I had my little glass of wine and
there were these grade out faces at the top, and
(19:07):
this is when I learned that the match doesn't actually
go away for the women, and I clicked on one
of them. It was Julio. He thinks it's just the
weirdest lottery that I clicked on one of them. But
there are plenty of women out there who always let
the match expire because women study the profile so closely,
and men just match on every single woman and wait
to see who's interested in them. So don't get excited,
(19:30):
ladies when you first get on a dating app where
you're like, I am killing it. Wow, I have so
many matches, this is amazing. No. No, the guys use
it by matching with every single woman. They swipe right,
swipe right, yes, yes, yes, until a woman matches with
them right. That's just how it goes. So a lot
of women wait to the match expires and then see
(19:51):
if he tries to rematch, which apparently Julio did a
bunch of times, and I didn't even know that anyway,
it's not new that our marriage began online. But back
in nineteen ninety eight, only two percent of American marriages
began online. By two thousand and eight, about twenty percent
(20:11):
began online. In twenty seventeen, a full fifty percent of
marriages began online. Now it's even more than that. Okay, However,
this new study, of course I always read those journals,
says the studies called meeting partners online is related to
lower relationship satisfaction and love data from fifty countries. Oh
(20:35):
those those researchers don't even build a teas in their
title too, did they just tell you the whole results
and the methodology in one sentence. So this was just
published in the scientific journal Telematics and Infomatics, and it
focused on the question of whether meeting a romantic partner
online affects the relationship quality down the road compared to
(20:59):
if you had met the person in the real world offline.
So the researchers analyzed data from fifty different countries. This
is important because then it's cross cultural human research. And
more than sixty six hundred people participated in a study
where they answered a battery of questions about their relationship right.
(21:20):
They basically asked them about the intensity of their love
and their overall satisfaction and with their relationship. What they
found is that people who had met online or sorry
offline in the real world reported much higher relationship satisfaction
and were more in love with their partners than the
(21:41):
couples who had met online. Huh, a little side effect.
It was stronger for men than women, this fact all right,
So the researchers had to speculate why this would be.
It doesn't apply to me because I have a very
happy marriage and I'm so happy I met him. Why well,
(22:02):
paradox of choice, Right, people who date online might feel
absolutely confused by choice overload and focus too much on
physical attractiveness not character. That can lead to bad partner choices. Also,
people lie on dating apps, right. They lie about their age,
their height, their weight, how much money they make because
they're just trying to get their fishing right. They're casting
(22:25):
a line and then they'll tell the truth later. However,
if you start a relationship based on a lie, even
a small, little white lie, that's a problem. You have
trouble maintaining trust. Also on the side of people who
meet in real life, people who meet in real life
might have shared interests because they often meet in places
(22:47):
where they have something in common. So I guess I'm saying,
get out there, meet someone in the real world. Start
by reaching out to your friends and family. Leverage your
social network. Tell people just fix me up. I don't
care who it's which is fix me up. Join clubs,
sports leagues, hiking group, get in with groups, groups right,
cooking classes, volunteer organization. I always tell men, please go
(23:11):
on a breast cancer walk. It's like ten men for
every twenty thousand women. Seriously, go on and go where
conversations make sense. I mean, you're not going to talk
to somebody in a library and start up a conversation.
Coffee shops, bookstores, farmers' markets, any community events where you
can smile, make eye contact and start a conversation. And
(23:31):
I've always said volunteering is really important because it's showcases
empathy and compassion, which is highly attractive to mates. All right,
So get out there in the real world. Hey, when
we come back, I am going to my social media
to answer your relationship questions. Send me a DM on
(23:52):
my Instagram. Producer Kayla, You're going to be checking checking
the Instagram. The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh. At
Dr Wendy Walsh. Let's get to your love life when
we come back. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
I'm a KFI sixty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. Okay,
(24:16):
this is the part of the show. We're a head
on to the dms of my social media and I
answer your relationship questions. Please don't worry. I always keep
your identity anonymous, and I am honored that you allow
me to weigh in on your love life. Little caveat.
I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology professor, but I
am obsessed with the science of love. So here we go.
(24:39):
If you want to send me a question, send it
on Instagram. Producer Kayla's check in there at Dr Wendy Walsh.
That's at doctor Wendy Walsh on Instagram. All right up, first, Hi,
doctor Wendy, how do you know if the way you
naturally show love or care is actually being received? I
(25:01):
tend to express love through small acts or checking in,
but I often feel like it's invisible or not valued.
How can I better understand or align with someone else's
quotation language of affection without feeling like I'm performing My
boyfriend doesn't seem to appreciate what I do. Well, there's
(25:23):
a whole lot to unpack there. It's a good question.
First off, I think you're referring to the love languages thing.
It hasn't been proven by science, it's not reliable or
valid across different relationships. It's a little bit of hocus focus. So, however,
having said that, some people believe it's a nice framework
(25:43):
to think about love. So what you want to know
is does the person feel loved because you are expressing
love through small acts of kindness or by checking in
a lot, and you think that he doesn't appreciate this
from you. Well, the first piece of love is good communication,
(26:11):
and so I think you want to ask him in
a concrete way, never a general way, like you know,
it feels like I'm checking in with you all the
time and it seems like you don't really care, or
you know, I ran those errands for you and it
feels like you didn't even notice. No, no, no, no, no,
how about asking a question like, how do you most
(26:31):
feel loved? You know I love you? Right, are any
of the things that I do for you? Like yesterday
when I la la la, what'd that feel like to you?
And then shut up and listen. And if you get
a shoulder shrug and a guy that goes fine, I
guess that's cool, then you know he received it and
that's love for him. On the other hand, I want
(26:54):
to remind you when you mentioned small acts and checking in,
you might want to find out if he feels smothered
by too much of this checking in stuff, if he
feels engulfed. So that's to ask ask him, Hey, do
I text too much? How does that feel to you?
(27:15):
What's that like for you? Just ask you might be
surprised with what you hear. All right, Moving to the
next listener's question. Dear doctor Wendy, I've noticed some conflicts
in my relationships keep repeating even when we try to
move on, whether it's his communication or my past discretions.
(27:38):
We talk in circles. Is it possible that we're trying
to solve the wrong issue on the surface when something
deeper is actually going on unspoken? Yeah, and that's for
you and a couple's counselor to figure out. Like you, Okay,
So I have this friend, I think she's been on
the show a few times, doctor Robbie Ludwig in New
(27:59):
York City, and she's a psychotherapist. She works with lots
and lots of couples. And I asked her what time
one time, what is it, doctor Robbie, what is the
most common marital problem that people bring to your practice?
And her answer surprised me. She said, it doesn't matter
(28:19):
what it is, it just never goes away. I was like, well,
so you're not like helping people fix their problems, and
she said, no, all we want to do is help
manage the feelings around the problems, and that's an inside
job for each of you individually. Right. So, but I
(28:40):
there's a little red flag that went up for me.
I've helped felt my ears going me me, me, me,
mean when I read this sentence, you said, whether it's
his communication or my past discretions, I think you mean indiscretions. Okay,
we talk in circles. So is he throwing the past
(29:02):
at you to ship away at your self esteem? That's
an issue that's a problem you have to get pasted
now his communication style. You can't take an introvert and
turn them into an extrovert. You can't take somebody who
doesn't have emotional relationship skills and just demand that they
suddenly have that. Skills can be learned, but they have
(29:24):
to want to, right. I think the two of you
might want to get into therapy and figure out as
you're asking, if there is something deeper, something that's not
being spoken, because ah, my money's on the fact that
there is there's something else happening. But as doctor Robbie says,
just learn to manage your feelings around it because it
(29:46):
apparently never goes away. Okay, moving on, this listener asks me,
Dear doctor Wendy, I struggle with vulnerability. How do I
open up emotionally without feeling like you're handing over all
your power? Oh? Interesting choice of words, Especially in relationships
where I've been hurt before. I keep walls up and
(30:09):
I'm scared I'm pushing people away. Well, sadly, you probably
are pushing people away because they don't get to see you.
They just see the wall, so they don't even know you. Right.
How interesting that you use the words how do I
open up emotionally without feeling like you're handing over all
the power. Actually, you've got it wrong. The power position
(30:36):
is in the vulnerability as long as you can learn
to tolerate manufactured feelings of shame. So, for instance, you
open up and you're honest about your feelings and they
put you down, make fun of you, or dismiss your feelings.
You have manufactured a feeling of shame now and embarrassment.
(30:59):
Nobody can make you have a feeling. Okay, you manufactured it.
So once you learn to tolerate that, tolerate the shame,
you can get a lot of information because here you
are opening up and they're not able to reciprocate. So
you know you're in the power position, and you're in
the position to be able to go, I'm out of here.
(31:20):
This doesn't feel good to me. This is not a
relationship that satisfies me. I promise you. The power position
is in the vulnerability because people who can't tolerate intimacy disappear,
and then you should do the touchdown cheer because they're
not right for you. It's like a litmus test. I'll
(31:42):
show my feelings, my openness, my vulnerability, I'll put that
plate out there on the table and let's see if
they take a bite. Let's see if they add to
the plate. Let's see what happens. And if you don't
get the reaction that you deserve, which is emotional intimacy back,
then you're saved. You can move along, missy, move along right.
(32:07):
Do not be afraid to be open, honest and vulnerable
from the very beginning. Now, I want to give one
a little caveat There are some people who are so
good at being vulnerable that they trauma dump way too early.
This is different. Being open, honest and vulnerable is being
(32:28):
able to say, let's say somebody asks you a really
personal question, instead of laughing, making a joke, changing the
subject just on not answering at all, you might say
something like, you know, that's a really sensitive question for me,
and I hope to get to know you well enough
to be able to answer it fully. That's called being open, honest, vulnerable,
(32:51):
and having boundaries. Right. So I'm not asking you to
just dump all your trauma on a near stranger. I
am asking you to be aware of your feelings, right,
Just be aware of your feelings, all right? When we
come back I am going to continue to answer your
questions from Instagram. Send me a DM at doctor Wendy
(33:13):
Walsh dot com and I'll weigh in. You are listening
to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six
forty WeLive everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Right now, let's
go to the twenty four hour KFI Newsroom.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty
Dr. Wendy Walsh on Demand News
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Herd with Colin Cowherd
The Herd with Colin Cowherd is a thought-provoking, opinionated, and topic-driven journey through the top sports stories of the day.