May 18, 2025 • 33 mins
Today we’re talking about finding your personal home decoration style. Every great project begins with intention, theme and some sense of style. Style is an extension of one’s personality. Dean talks about why personal style in your home is important, and what the difference is between style and fashion. Can one’s style be aspirational? Of course! We learn about what that means.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
KFI AM six forty. You're listening to Dean Sharp The
house Whisper on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I'm Dean Sharp,
the house Whisper, custom home Designer, and here on the
weekends your guide to better understanding that place where you live.
We are all about taking your ordinary house and helping
(00:23):
you make it into an extraordinary home. Today on the show,
we're tackling one of the toughest things out there when
it comes to you transforming your house. I mean tough.
You thought last week was tough when we were talking
about wrestling with color. Okay, that's the thing. But colors exist,
(00:43):
They're out there. We just have to learn how to
work with them. How about this finding your style? Uh,
I know you're cringing. You're like, I don't have style, Dean,
I'd have no idea where to start. Well, that's what
we're going to help you with today. Gonna find your
style and we're going to help to imbue it. Imbue
(01:03):
Oh that's a good word, into your home more and more,
layer by layer, so that you end up with a
custom home experience in every moment that you are walking
through your home. So finding your style, we'll talk about
it in terms of the exterior of the house, like
the architecture, the architectural style, but even more important than that,
(01:26):
once we get inside the house, the flow, the sense
of everything that's going. How do we determine if you
have style and what style is and how do we
find yours? Okay, and of course we're taking calls as always,
we're going to be taking your calls today. The number
to reach me eight three three two. Ask Dean eight
(01:50):
three three, the numeral two. Ask Dean A three three
two pep ask Dean, Okay, got it, A three three
the numeral two, and then just spell out ask Dean.
All right, let me introduce you to our awesome team. Elmer,
as always is on the board. Good morning, Elmer.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Good morning Dean.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday to you. What's the what's the
what's the plan for today? When you're done, get some breakfast.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I have like some leftover ground beef, so I want
to make a breakfast burrito. I got some hash brown
so I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Right, you're gonna be uh when is that happening? How
long are you on the board today?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Until twelve? So I just have to hold that hunger
for like two more hours.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
All right, you and me both so brunch. Technically brunch
you should be having a breakfast burrito run all right?
Sounds good? Uh hey, look at this sitting in studio.
Producers Richie and Nikki both grab a mic and say hello,
good morning guys. Hello, Hello are you? Is everybody doing good? Sure?
(02:59):
I am too. I have my dunkin Donuts this morning,
so we're good. Nikki, where exactly where exactly, I mean
precisely does that accent come from?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
It comes from Bondai Beach in Sydney.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Australia, Bondai Beach. Correct Ah, And how long have you?
How long have you been here?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I've been in the US for eleven years, but I've
been on the West Coast for about nine or ten years.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, all right, sounds good, sounds good. I love that accent.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I love yours too.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh it's the weirdest thing to think that I have one.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Everyone has one except for me.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Isn't that the way it works?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So what does my accent sound like? I Am not
going to insult you by trying to do my Australian
you know, shrimp on the barbie thing.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I love when people tried it to the accent.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
It tickles me every time I'm in the UK. My
friends who live in the UK, I love. I love
asking them. I'm like, go ahead, go do an American
accent and we all end up sounding like cowboys. You
have a very classic accent. Classic What does that mean?
I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Well, it's not southern. It's not like Midwestern. It's not
like a valley girl on you, Josey.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It's just classic. Well, I guess that's just my So.
You know, when I was younger, my accent sounded a
little bit more like this. I actually pushed this away.
This was the accent that I had that I spoke
with until I was about seven or eight years old.
And that's because my parents were from well Arkansas, Oklahoma,
(04:42):
and I grew up in a household with that. And
then I went to school. But I was born and
raised right here in Los Angeles, and so I went
to school and I realized all my friends were looking
at me, thinking where are you from? And I'm like,
I'm from Newport Beach and it just didn't make sense
to anybody, and I thought, okay, I just started kind
of pushing it down, pushing it down, and then I
(05:03):
ended up with this one. See, and when I get
so used to talk like a cowboy a little bit more, yeah,
a little bit more, a little bit more like a
cowboy from Los Angeles, from Los Angeles, California. But yeah,
so I pushed it down and I thought no big
deal until, of course, the day when I first invited
(05:24):
some of my friends over to the house, and because
I hadn't anticipated that right, and then my mom heard
me talking like this to my friends, and she's like,
why you change your voice when they're around? And then
I had to spill the beans that I and she
she thought for the longest time that I was ashamed
(05:45):
of my accent, but it was just the fact that
it was just weird. I just it was just weird
for me to come from LA and to have an
accent from Oklahoma. And so anyway, sometimes I'll slip up.
You hear me say, hey, y'all, what's going on? And uh,
And you know, I don't mind it now, but this
has become over what fifty years, this is my this
(06:08):
is my normal speaking voice. But I can get tired
and slip into the other one. So anyway. I love
your accent. It is classic. Thank you right back, all right,
sitting across the table from me, the one who knows
all of the secrets, my best buddy in all the world,
the co founder and co owner and my design partner
(06:32):
of House Whisper, my best buddy in all the world,
Tina is here. Excuse you? No, no, what is that accent?
That's distinctly African? I think? Welcome home. How you doing.
I'm good. It's it's a nice morning, gorgeous outside. It's
(06:53):
a gorgeous. We're going to go ride in a boat later,
I think, I think so, hopefully, hopefully if it all
works out. Well, all right, y'all see I did it?
Look at it? Look at me. I'm just slipping in.
When we come back, we're going to dive in headfirst
into figuring out if we can figure out your style.
It all starts with understanding what the heck is style? Anyway?
(07:17):
I mean, for real, I'm going to break that down
for you, and hopefully you'll be encouraged by the answer
and it'll give you some handles to grab onto and say, Okay,
maybe I can figure this out.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
We only do the good kind, uplifting, informative, non bugging
you kind of social media. We're on all the usual
suspects Instagram, TikTok, Facebook X. You know all those guys
Home with Dean, same handle for them, all Home with Dean.
And I'm going to remind you that if your home
is in need of some personal house Whisper attention. If
(07:58):
I start to poking the bear today and you're like,
you know what, it's time for us to start redoing
this home in our style, then you can book an
in home design consult with me and the tea. Just
go to house whisper dot Design for more information house
Whisper dot Design. And of course we're gonna be going
to the phones in a bit as we do. The
(08:19):
number to reach me eight three three two Ask Dean
eight three to three the numeral to ask Dean. Richie
and Nicky are standing by to take your call. They'll
tell you everything you need to know. You can listen
to Nicky's accent from Bondai Beach, Sydney, Australia. There you go,
all right back to it style, just as every great
(08:44):
author or movie maker needs to know what kind of
story they want to tell before they get started. Every
great architectural project begins with that kind of an intention,
an intention, a theme, and some sense of style. The
stronger the sense of style, the stronger the start for
(09:06):
any project. And that's just the way it goes. Now,
here's the trouble with style. Number one, not many people
think they have it. Number two, very few people that
I've met really understand it. And number three, even though
we are surrounded by examples of style and we were
(09:27):
flooded with it on on a daily basis. If you
watch if I mean, if you watch any television whatsoever,
if there's on your feeds, if there's fashion news, if
there's celebrity news, I mean, it's just all about style, style, style.
But here's the thing. Even if you're watching like HDTV
or DIY network, you know you're seeing design shows. I
(09:50):
say that very loosely. Design. I'm using my air quotes
design shows. Even and if you pick up magazines like
Interior Design Magazine or Architectural Digest magazine, which are solid,
lovely publication. The point is this, none of those things
(10:11):
are reaching out to you to help you figure out
what your style is. They're just showing off somebody else's style,
and that's the way it is in the design world
generally speaking. That's why we are kind of standouts in
that sense because I'm sitting here with you having this conversation,
and my concern is not showing you my style in
(10:34):
a magazine spread, but helping you figure out what yours is.
Because your home is where you live, and I assume
you're not so worried about a magazine spread, but what
you are concerned about is how do I make this
house more and more my home? So that's the problem
(10:56):
with style. There are examples of it all around us,
yet other people's stuff, and there's very very little education
about it, or instruction or anybody coming alongside and saying,
you know, let me help you find out yours. And
you would think, well, maybe I could hire a stylist, right,
isn't that what designers are for? Aren't designers there to
(11:17):
give me style? And there's another sense in our industry
in which I would say, yeah, that's kind of how
things work. But here's the question, is it how things
should work? And my answer to that is no, that's
not how things should work. We get hired at times
to give people a style, and they literally say to us, listen,
(11:41):
pick something and go with it, and as long as
you know it doesn't offend me, we're good to go.
I mean, believe it or not, that happens a lot,
and most of the time these days, I shut that
stuff down and I say, yeah, you know what, there's
a lot of people out there who are happy to
do that, to kind of take their sense of style
(12:03):
and just throw it onto your house and so that
you look good with you to your friends and you
feel all, you know, fancy and gigi. But that's not
what we do. What we do is try and dig
into you and draw it out of you, and of
course help you along the way. So the answer to
the question is of can my designer just choose a
(12:27):
style for me? Well, sure they can, but is that
your style? Not? Necessarily I can help you find it.
I can suggest some style choices to you. I can
expand on your style all day long, okay, and I
can make sure you're staying true to your style. But
I can't choose it for you. Your job your job. If
(12:49):
you really want to live in a home that is
truly yours. You really want your personality expressed through the
way that you live. Your job is to do the
hard work of knowing some things about yourself. I remember this.
In the earliest days of my design mentoring, I was
(13:14):
told I was given this example. Written above the entrance
of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, there is this
ancient Greek maxim. This is ancient history, right, but it's powerful.
You would approach the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and
as you go underneath these columns and this big stone
(13:43):
lentil above the columns written on it in Greek are
these words, know thyself, Know thyself. And I've carried that
with me because I think that's really the heart of
what it means to have a custom home. You have
to know something about yourself. And I've run into a
(14:04):
lot of folks who surprisingly don't know as much about
themselves as they think. And it doesn't mean that, you know,
being a designer of homes, an architectural designer, that doesn't
mean that you know it's my job to take you
to therapy or anything like that. But you know, we
do touch on these things because living in a home
(14:25):
is an emotional experience. And the better you know yourself,
just very simply put, the better it is in terms
of finding and expressing your style. Right, you don't have
to know anything about design, but you do have to
know something about yourself. And the first, last, and most
important job of the design client, in my opinion, is
(14:47):
to know something about yourself and from there we can
get a lot done. I mean, we can get a
lot done. So that is my first encouragement to you.
You don't have to know anything about design. You don't
have to be, you know, have your thumb on the
heartbeat of the pulse of fashion or fad or anything
that's going on in the world right now. You simply
(15:10):
have to make some decisions about what you like and
who you are. And this gets to the very definition
of style. Okay, Now, if you look up style in
the dictionary, you'll find all sorts of derivations of definition
and kind of what's unseen and unspoken. But running through
them all is this idea? Going to leave this with
(15:31):
you to just ponder while we go to the news.
Style is essentially anchored in repetition and routine. Right when
you think of somebody's style, like you think of somebody
who has a certain style to them. It means that
you've seen them do a thing or act away or
(15:53):
move away, or whatever the case may be, more than once.
You've seen it again and again and again and again.
It's kind of their flow. It is their routine. They
routinely behave in this way, they routinely dress this way,
they routinely move this way, they routinely make these choices
(16:13):
or speak in this way. Right, And because of that,
at the heart beat of style, the very root is
this idea of repetition and routine. Style is whatever you
keep coming back to. Style is what you like and
what you keep liking, and how that translates into how
(16:36):
you live. Sorry, think about that, and we're gonna get
even crunchier and more practical with it.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
But first, you're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on
demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
We're going into the phones in just a bit. The
number to reach us eight three three two. Ask Dean
A three three. The numeral two ask Dean the room
on the phone lines for you today, So give me
a call. I'm talking about finding your style today. But
when it comes to our calls, always, always, always, you
set the agenda, So anything you want to talk about
(17:12):
regarding your home design, construction, DIY issues, whatever the case
may be, inside, outside, landscape, interior decor anything from fixing
the leaky toilet, fluffing the pillows, to how do we
pour the foundation or how do I design the dream
home that I've always wanted, any and all of it.
(17:33):
I'm here to help. Whatever's got you scratching your head
about your home eight three three two ask Dean, it's
just that easy, Okay. Back to the essence of finding
your style. Okay, Well, first of all, have you thought
about that through the break if you were with us
(17:55):
before and if you just joined us, you want to
make sure you go back and listen to the podcast
because we've already had it out. Some pearls of wisdom here. Style.
What is style really? It's repetition, it's routine, It's whatever
you keep coming back to. It's the things that you like.
It's the groove. You know. I like that term that's
(18:15):
an old Is that like a that's like an old
seventies kind of sixties and seventies kind of term, like
your groove. But you think about that, if your style
is described as your groove, that means that you do
it often enough that you've worn a groove into your life. Right,
that's it, that's the idea. So why is it even important?
(18:41):
Is it just kind of theatrics? Is it just vanity?
I don't think so, And I'll tell you why. The
great man Winston Churchill once said, this is the most
one of the most significant statements about architecture, I think
ever in the history of architecture. And it was uttered
(19:02):
by a non architect, but I love it anyway. Winston
Churchill knew this, He had realized this. He said, we
shape our buildings, and thereafter they shape us. And it's
so true. It is so true in a thousand tiny ways.
Every day, the buildings that we dwell in, that we
(19:25):
move in, they tell us things. They tell us how
we have to get from here to the bathroom. They
tell us what we're going to experience as we go there.
They tell us what a room looks like in the
morning light or in the last you know, whispers of
daylight as the sun sets. They tell us all of
these things. They shape our moods, They shape the way
(19:50):
we behave, they shape what we see, and they shape
what we think. In a lot of ways, and so
it's very true we shape our buildings, therefore thereafter they
shape us. And this is why finding our style for
our home is important because to understand your style, to
embed your style into your home, it then becomes a
(20:12):
mirror that reflects it back to you and allows you
just that beautiful kind of hand in glove experience of
living your life in a space that is truly yours.
So it's important because our buildings shape us. It's important
because style is not a fashion thing. Style is repetition,
(20:36):
it's routine. It's finding out what it is that we're
all about. And what is the difference between style and fashion.
By the way, I love this phrase. Style is whatever
I do and fashion is whatever else everybody else is
doing to keep up with me. That's true, right A designer,
a fashion designer comes up with their own unique style
(20:59):
and and a bunch of people are, you know, chasing
behind trying to get that look going for themselves. So
style is whatever you do, and no, you don't have
to look fashionable to have your own style. That's the
very essence of it. Style is the root of fashion.
It's not the fruit of fashion, Okay, it's the root. Okay,
(21:21):
does your style have to be utterly unique? Well, Uh,
that's a tricky question because you, I believe, are utterly unique,
and so on some level, yes, your style should be unique.
(21:43):
I think the word utterly there is the tricky part.
Does your style have to be utterly unique? In other words,
does your style have to be different than everybody else
in every conceivable way? And I think that's just kind
of silly and ridiculous, because there are we have We
all share more things in common than we have differences
(22:06):
between us, and so there's going to be a lot
of similarities in between different people's style who have truly
found their own style. Okay, As they say, it's not
what you wear, but it's how you wear it. Okay.
So the idea is that, yeah, to a certain degree,
that's the that's that's the gold, that in the buried
(22:29):
treasure to find a few elements of style that for
you are totally and utterly unique to you. But that
doesn't mean that we have to come up with an
architectural style that nobody else has ever heard of before
to express you, or an interior design style or a
paint color or anything like. We don't have to come
(22:52):
up with. You know, we don't have to reinvent the
wheel on every turn because it's just not the way
life works. So, uh, does your style have to be
utterly unique? Not utterly unique, but to a certain degree.
The goal is to find something unique about your style,
all right? Another question that we get all the time.
(23:13):
Does my style have to be what my life is
like now? Or can it be aspirational? Can my style
that I choose for myself be something that I really
want to have happen, that I want more of, but
doesn't necessarily reflect where I'm at and what's going on
(23:34):
with me right now? Okay, yeah, of course, and it
should be again a mixture of the two, because there's
something about that style that you're aspiring to that's already
going on in you. Does that make sense, that's already happening,
that's already reflecting outwards. You may not be in the
best medium to express that style fully. I hear it
(23:57):
all the time. I have a certain style that I want,
but I find myself in a house that is not
reflecting that style at all, or maybe the idea like
even on the big scale that you know, I'm not
a big fan of tutor houses, but I live in one, okay,
because this was the one my family needed, This is
the one that we could afford. This was a lovely home.
(24:19):
But it's not actually exactly my style. How do we
get from point A to point Z there? We'll talk
more about that. But does your style have to be
what your life is like right now? Or can it
be aspirational? Of course it can be aspirational. I hope
you have aspirations to grow and to become and to
reach out and to be more, and so style this tricky,
(24:43):
slippery thing. It's a little easier to understand than what
most people think of. We just need to kind of
pull back the curtain and essentially see that it's routine, repetition,
it's whatever you keep coming back to. It's what you like,
even if what you like is not where you're living,
and it represents to a certain degree, your authentic life
(25:06):
as you live it every day. Okay. It can be
one part aspirational, one part what your life is like now.
It can be one part very much looks like everybody else,
what a lot of other people are doing, and one
part part utter utterly unique. Does that make sense? All right?
I need a cup of coffee Bees so that I
(25:26):
can speak my words good gooder than I am doing.
Right now.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
All right, we're going to be going to the phones
right after the next break, by the way, and the
number to reach me eight three three to ask Dean
A three three the numeral two ask Dean. But until then,
let us continue talking about your style and like, oh
eye roll major ill my style, Like all right, I
(26:02):
don't know, but we're trying to break style down here
this morning so that we can understand it better, especially
as it relates to your home, giving it handles. Essentially,
style is repetition, it's routine. It's whatever you keep coming
back to. It's what you like, it's how you live.
(26:23):
And it's not following in the footsteps of other fashion
icons or anything like that, or any style issues that
you see in magazines. Although these are good clues, they're
good clues about what you like and how you are,
but ultimately, you know, your style is something that you've
(26:44):
got to find for yourself, because you need to know
yourself well enough to start identifying those things. Now, you
don't have to design your style. That's what a designer
is for, not to give you a style, but to
help you express it, find its edges, to find its contours,
and it's details, to show you what the possibilities of
(27:06):
working within your style are and would be. And that's
why it's a beautiful collaboration. I think, working with clients
to help them find their expression of themselves in their home,
and when it's done right, it's not my style overlaid
onto a home. It's their style magnified and detailed by
(27:30):
my particular set of gifts to help them along the way,
to help them find their voice essentially when it comes
to their home, and then they just get to live
in that place and enjoy this hand and glove kind
of experience from there on out. But I've been kind
of answering some questions regarding style. One of them is
(27:54):
really honest, what if my style scares me? What if
what I think secretly is the way that I would
like to live or the way that I would like
to be. What if it frightens me on some level?
What if I don't want anybody else to see it
because I'm afraid everybody else is gonna think I'm a
(28:15):
freak or I'm crazy, and you know what, there are
so many resources for that kind of decision. I mean, essentially,
on a regular basis, Tina and I help people kind
of come out of the closet, as it were, with
their style because they have a lot of people have
an intrinsic fear that okay, you no, you'd believe me, Dane,
(28:38):
you don't want to know what my style really is
because you would just think it's like blah, or you
would freak you out and you would go running to
the door because you're like, no, I'm not going to
do that, And that's never the case. It's never ever
the case. There are always ways to express every imaginable style,
and there's room in the world forevery imaginable style. So
(29:03):
what if my style scares me? I mean, that's you're allowed.
You're allowed, But that's no reason not to pursue it.
It just simply means get the help, get the help
that you need to find the way to express it
that makes you feel most comfortable. Here's another real difficult question,
what if my style conflicts with my partner's style. Well,
(29:26):
remember how I said earlier answering the question does your
style have to be utterly unique? And my answer was
yes and no. Your style should be unique to you.
If there isn't some uniqueness, then it's not probably expressing
the utterly unique person that you are. But the word
utterly utterly unique. No. No. And here's the thing, as
(29:51):
somebody who has been with a partner, who lives with
a partner, who works with a partner, who's virtually with
my partner twenty four to seven, and I can tell
you this, Tina and I are very different people in
our personality structures, and we're very different people, and yet
yet we have built a home and a life together
(30:12):
that is very much our style and it is a
it is how do you describe it, Tina, I mean,
it's it's it's a melding of both together in ways
that that we both want. And I think I think
there's this concern like, what if my style isn't, uh,
you know, conflicts with my partner style. Well, if your
(30:36):
partner doesn't want your style expressed in their life, maybe
they shouldn't be your partner. Maybe you have the wrong partner. Yeah,
I mean that's kind of that, that's kind of the
conclusion that that I've come to because there are things
about you that are so you and that aren't really me,
(30:56):
that they don't emanate from me the way they emanate
from you. But I mean, I want you in my life,
and I also want those things in my life and
into our home. And so there's this finding of this
blending of styles, not this no, we got to we
have to make a decision. Is this the place going
(31:17):
to be your style or my style? And I just
don't really find that as a realistic basis for a partnership.
What do you think? Absolutely not, you have to work together,
but I think there are ways to do it. How
have you found in the past that we mix and
match with folks?
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Well, I think, for example, I think I'm thinking of
a recent consult where the wife said, I like things
very orderly and simple, and my husband's more eclectic, and
he likes to have a lot of things around him
that remind him of family and artwork and photographs, and
so they have set up he has her office, he
(32:00):
has his office, and they really are very different looking,
but that's their spaces that they've created.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
So they get maximum expression in those spaces, and then
the rest of the house kind of takes on a
hybrid form exactly of the two. And it's allowed because
it's like, who wants to have a room and a
home in which you've purged your partner's presence entirely. Again,
I don't think that's necessarily you know, a healthy side.
(32:25):
I hear it all the time of like she shed
man cave, I need a place where I just get
away and it just my place. That's fine, But how
about the rest of the house. Can the rest of
the house be our place exactly? And so you can
find a way. So what if my style conflicts with
my partner's style? You know, I expect it. I don't
know about the word conflict, but doesn't line up with
(32:48):
or isn't the same as sure, And so there's a way.
There's always a way. I don't expect your style to
be the same as your partner's style, really, I mean
because at one point one of us isn't necessary if
we're just carbon copies of each other. Right, So it's
not as big of a problem as it would seem. Now,
(33:11):
A bigger problem is what if my style conflicts with
my neighbors. That's something we'll address when we return to
this conversation. But coming up next, we've got a callboard
full of callers and it is time top of the
second hour to go to the phone, So go nowhere.
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper
(33:34):
on KFI. This has been Home with Dean Sharp, the
House Whisper. Tune into the live broadcast on KFI Am
six forty every Saturday morning from six to eight Pacific
time and every Sunday morning from nine to noon Pacific time,
or anytime on demand on the iHeart Radio app.
KFI AM six forty. You're listening to Dean Sharp The
house Whisper on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I'm Dean Sharp,
the house Whisper, custom home Designer, and here on the
weekends your guide to better understanding that place where you live.
We are all about taking your ordinary house and helping
(00:23):
you make it into an extraordinary home. Today on the show,
we're tackling one of the toughest things out there when
it comes to you transforming your house. I mean tough.
You thought last week was tough when we were talking
about wrestling with color. Okay, that's the thing. But colors exist,
(00:43):
They're out there. We just have to learn how to
work with them. How about this finding your style? Uh,
I know you're cringing. You're like, I don't have style, Dean,
I'd have no idea where to start. Well, that's what
we're going to help you with today. Gonna find your
style and we're going to help to imbue it. Imbue
(01:03):
Oh that's a good word, into your home more and more,
layer by layer, so that you end up with a
custom home experience in every moment that you are walking
through your home. So finding your style, we'll talk about
it in terms of the exterior of the house, like
the architecture, the architectural style, but even more important than that,
(01:26):
once we get inside the house, the flow, the sense
of everything that's going. How do we determine if you
have style and what style is and how do we
find yours? Okay, and of course we're taking calls as always,
we're going to be taking your calls today. The number
to reach me eight three three two. Ask Dean eight
(01:50):
three three, the numeral two. Ask Dean A three three
two pep ask Dean, Okay, got it, A three three
the numeral two, and then just spell out ask Dean.
All right, let me introduce you to our awesome team. Elmer,
as always is on the board. Good morning, Elmer.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Good morning Dean.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday to you. What's the what's the
what's the plan for today? When you're done, get some breakfast.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I have like some leftover ground beef, so I want
to make a breakfast burrito. I got some hash brown
so I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Right, you're gonna be uh when is that happening? How
long are you on the board today?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Until twelve? So I just have to hold that hunger
for like two more hours.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
All right, you and me both so brunch. Technically brunch
you should be having a breakfast burrito run all right?
Sounds good? Uh hey, look at this sitting in studio.
Producers Richie and Nikki both grab a mic and say hello,
good morning guys. Hello, Hello are you? Is everybody doing good? Sure?
(02:59):
I am too. I have my dunkin Donuts this morning,
so we're good. Nikki, where exactly where exactly, I mean
precisely does that accent come from?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
It comes from Bondai Beach in Sydney.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Australia, Bondai Beach. Correct Ah, And how long have you?
How long have you been here?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I've been in the US for eleven years, but I've
been on the West Coast for about nine or ten years.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, all right, sounds good, sounds good. I love that accent.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I love yours too.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh it's the weirdest thing to think that I have one.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Everyone has one except for me.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Isn't that the way it works?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So what does my accent sound like? I Am not
going to insult you by trying to do my Australian
you know, shrimp on the barbie thing.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I love when people tried it to the accent.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
It tickles me every time I'm in the UK. My
friends who live in the UK, I love. I love
asking them. I'm like, go ahead, go do an American
accent and we all end up sounding like cowboys. You
have a very classic accent. Classic What does that mean?
I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Well, it's not southern. It's not like Midwestern. It's not
like a valley girl on you, Josey.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It's just classic. Well, I guess that's just my So.
You know, when I was younger, my accent sounded a
little bit more like this. I actually pushed this away.
This was the accent that I had that I spoke
with until I was about seven or eight years old.
And that's because my parents were from well Arkansas, Oklahoma,
(04:42):
and I grew up in a household with that. And
then I went to school. But I was born and
raised right here in Los Angeles, and so I went
to school and I realized all my friends were looking
at me, thinking where are you from? And I'm like,
I'm from Newport Beach and it just didn't make sense
to anybody, and I thought, okay, I just started kind
of pushing it down, pushing it down, and then I
(05:03):
ended up with this one. See, and when I get
so used to talk like a cowboy a little bit more, yeah,
a little bit more, a little bit more like a
cowboy from Los Angeles, from Los Angeles, California. But yeah,
so I pushed it down and I thought no big
deal until, of course, the day when I first invited
(05:24):
some of my friends over to the house, and because
I hadn't anticipated that right, and then my mom heard
me talking like this to my friends, and she's like,
why you change your voice when they're around? And then
I had to spill the beans that I and she
she thought for the longest time that I was ashamed
(05:45):
of my accent, but it was just the fact that
it was just weird. I just it was just weird
for me to come from LA and to have an
accent from Oklahoma. And so anyway, sometimes I'll slip up.
You hear me say, hey, y'all, what's going on? And uh,
And you know, I don't mind it now, but this
has become over what fifty years, this is my this
(06:08):
is my normal speaking voice. But I can get tired
and slip into the other one. So anyway. I love
your accent. It is classic. Thank you right back, all right,
sitting across the table from me, the one who knows
all of the secrets, my best buddy in all the world,
the co founder and co owner and my design partner
(06:32):
of House Whisper, my best buddy in all the world,
Tina is here. Excuse you? No, no, what is that accent?
That's distinctly African? I think? Welcome home. How you doing.
I'm good. It's it's a nice morning, gorgeous outside. It's
(06:53):
a gorgeous. We're going to go ride in a boat later,
I think, I think so, hopefully, hopefully if it all
works out. Well, all right, y'all see I did it?
Look at it? Look at me. I'm just slipping in.
When we come back, we're going to dive in headfirst
into figuring out if we can figure out your style.
It all starts with understanding what the heck is style? Anyway?
(07:17):
I mean, for real, I'm going to break that down
for you, and hopefully you'll be encouraged by the answer
and it'll give you some handles to grab onto and say, Okay,
maybe I can figure this out.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
We only do the good kind, uplifting, informative, non bugging
you kind of social media. We're on all the usual
suspects Instagram, TikTok, Facebook X. You know all those guys
Home with Dean, same handle for them, all Home with Dean.
And I'm going to remind you that if your home
is in need of some personal house Whisper attention. If
(07:58):
I start to poking the bear today and you're like,
you know what, it's time for us to start redoing
this home in our style, then you can book an
in home design consult with me and the tea. Just
go to house whisper dot Design for more information house
Whisper dot Design. And of course we're gonna be going
to the phones in a bit as we do. The
(08:19):
number to reach me eight three three two Ask Dean
eight three to three the numeral to ask Dean. Richie
and Nicky are standing by to take your call. They'll
tell you everything you need to know. You can listen
to Nicky's accent from Bondai Beach, Sydney, Australia. There you go,
all right back to it style, just as every great
(08:44):
author or movie maker needs to know what kind of
story they want to tell before they get started. Every
great architectural project begins with that kind of an intention,
an intention, a theme, and some sense of style. The
stronger the sense of style, the stronger the start for
(09:06):
any project. And that's just the way it goes. Now,
here's the trouble with style. Number one, not many people
think they have it. Number two, very few people that
I've met really understand it. And number three, even though
we are surrounded by examples of style and we were
(09:27):
flooded with it on on a daily basis. If you
watch if I mean, if you watch any television whatsoever,
if there's on your feeds, if there's fashion news, if
there's celebrity news, I mean, it's just all about style, style, style.
But here's the thing. Even if you're watching like HDTV
or DIY network, you know you're seeing design shows. I
(09:50):
say that very loosely. Design. I'm using my air quotes
design shows. Even and if you pick up magazines like
Interior Design Magazine or Architectural Digest magazine, which are solid,
lovely publication. The point is this, none of those things
(10:11):
are reaching out to you to help you figure out
what your style is. They're just showing off somebody else's style,
and that's the way it is in the design world
generally speaking. That's why we are kind of standouts in
that sense because I'm sitting here with you having this conversation,
and my concern is not showing you my style in
(10:34):
a magazine spread, but helping you figure out what yours is.
Because your home is where you live, and I assume
you're not so worried about a magazine spread, but what
you are concerned about is how do I make this
house more and more my home? So that's the problem
(10:56):
with style. There are examples of it all around us,
yet other people's stuff, and there's very very little education
about it, or instruction or anybody coming alongside and saying,
you know, let me help you find out yours. And
you would think, well, maybe I could hire a stylist, right,
isn't that what designers are for? Aren't designers there to
(11:17):
give me style? And there's another sense in our industry
in which I would say, yeah, that's kind of how
things work. But here's the question, is it how things
should work? And my answer to that is no, that's
not how things should work. We get hired at times
to give people a style, and they literally say to us, listen,
(11:41):
pick something and go with it, and as long as
you know it doesn't offend me, we're good to go.
I mean, believe it or not, that happens a lot,
and most of the time these days, I shut that
stuff down and I say, yeah, you know what, there's
a lot of people out there who are happy to
do that, to kind of take their sense of style
(12:03):
and just throw it onto your house and so that
you look good with you to your friends and you
feel all, you know, fancy and gigi. But that's not
what we do. What we do is try and dig
into you and draw it out of you, and of
course help you along the way. So the answer to
the question is of can my designer just choose a
(12:27):
style for me? Well, sure they can, but is that
your style? Not? Necessarily I can help you find it.
I can suggest some style choices to you. I can
expand on your style all day long, okay, and I
can make sure you're staying true to your style. But
I can't choose it for you. Your job your job. If
(12:49):
you really want to live in a home that is
truly yours. You really want your personality expressed through the
way that you live. Your job is to do the
hard work of knowing some things about yourself. I remember this.
In the earliest days of my design mentoring, I was
(13:14):
told I was given this example. Written above the entrance
of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, there is this
ancient Greek maxim. This is ancient history, right, but it's powerful.
You would approach the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and
as you go underneath these columns and this big stone
(13:43):
lentil above the columns written on it in Greek are
these words, know thyself, Know thyself. And I've carried that
with me because I think that's really the heart of
what it means to have a custom home. You have
to know something about yourself. And I've run into a
(14:04):
lot of folks who surprisingly don't know as much about
themselves as they think. And it doesn't mean that, you know,
being a designer of homes, an architectural designer, that doesn't
mean that you know it's my job to take you
to therapy or anything like that. But you know, we
do touch on these things because living in a home
(14:25):
is an emotional experience. And the better you know yourself,
just very simply put, the better it is in terms
of finding and expressing your style. Right, you don't have
to know anything about design, but you do have to
know something about yourself. And the first, last, and most
important job of the design client, in my opinion, is
(14:47):
to know something about yourself and from there we can
get a lot done. I mean, we can get a
lot done. So that is my first encouragement to you.
You don't have to know anything about design. You don't
have to be, you know, have your thumb on the
heartbeat of the pulse of fashion or fad or anything
that's going on in the world right now. You simply
(15:10):
have to make some decisions about what you like and
who you are. And this gets to the very definition
of style. Okay, Now, if you look up style in
the dictionary, you'll find all sorts of derivations of definition
and kind of what's unseen and unspoken. But running through
them all is this idea? Going to leave this with
(15:31):
you to just ponder while we go to the news.
Style is essentially anchored in repetition and routine. Right when
you think of somebody's style, like you think of somebody
who has a certain style to them. It means that
you've seen them do a thing or act away or
(15:53):
move away, or whatever the case may be, more than once.
You've seen it again and again and again and again.
It's kind of their flow. It is their routine. They
routinely behave in this way, they routinely dress this way,
they routinely move this way, they routinely make these choices
(16:13):
or speak in this way. Right, And because of that,
at the heart beat of style, the very root is
this idea of repetition and routine. Style is whatever you
keep coming back to. Style is what you like and
what you keep liking, and how that translates into how
(16:36):
you live. Sorry, think about that, and we're gonna get
even crunchier and more practical with it.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
But first, you're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on
demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
We're going into the phones in just a bit. The
number to reach us eight three three two. Ask Dean
A three three. The numeral two ask Dean the room
on the phone lines for you today, So give me
a call. I'm talking about finding your style today. But
when it comes to our calls, always, always, always, you
set the agenda, So anything you want to talk about
(17:12):
regarding your home design, construction, DIY issues, whatever the case
may be, inside, outside, landscape, interior decor anything from fixing
the leaky toilet, fluffing the pillows, to how do we
pour the foundation or how do I design the dream
home that I've always wanted, any and all of it.
(17:33):
I'm here to help. Whatever's got you scratching your head
about your home eight three three two ask Dean, it's
just that easy, Okay. Back to the essence of finding
your style. Okay, Well, first of all, have you thought
about that through the break if you were with us
(17:55):
before and if you just joined us, you want to
make sure you go back and listen to the podcast
because we've already had it out. Some pearls of wisdom here. Style.
What is style really? It's repetition, it's routine, It's whatever
you keep coming back to. It's the things that you like.
It's the groove. You know. I like that term that's
(18:15):
an old Is that like a that's like an old
seventies kind of sixties and seventies kind of term, like
your groove. But you think about that, if your style
is described as your groove, that means that you do
it often enough that you've worn a groove into your life. Right,
that's it, that's the idea. So why is it even important?
(18:41):
Is it just kind of theatrics? Is it just vanity?
I don't think so, And I'll tell you why. The
great man Winston Churchill once said, this is the most
one of the most significant statements about architecture, I think
ever in the history of architecture. And it was uttered
(19:02):
by a non architect, but I love it anyway. Winston
Churchill knew this, He had realized this. He said, we
shape our buildings, and thereafter they shape us. And it's
so true. It is so true in a thousand tiny ways.
Every day, the buildings that we dwell in, that we
(19:25):
move in, they tell us things. They tell us how
we have to get from here to the bathroom. They
tell us what we're going to experience as we go there.
They tell us what a room looks like in the
morning light or in the last you know, whispers of
daylight as the sun sets. They tell us all of
these things. They shape our moods, They shape the way
(19:50):
we behave, they shape what we see, and they shape
what we think. In a lot of ways, and so
it's very true we shape our buildings, therefore thereafter they
shape us. And this is why finding our style for
our home is important because to understand your style, to
embed your style into your home, it then becomes a
(20:12):
mirror that reflects it back to you and allows you
just that beautiful kind of hand in glove experience of
living your life in a space that is truly yours.
So it's important because our buildings shape us. It's important
because style is not a fashion thing. Style is repetition,
(20:36):
it's routine. It's finding out what it is that we're
all about. And what is the difference between style and fashion.
By the way, I love this phrase. Style is whatever
I do and fashion is whatever else everybody else is
doing to keep up with me. That's true, right A designer,
a fashion designer comes up with their own unique style
(20:59):
and and a bunch of people are, you know, chasing
behind trying to get that look going for themselves. So
style is whatever you do, and no, you don't have
to look fashionable to have your own style. That's the
very essence of it. Style is the root of fashion.
It's not the fruit of fashion, Okay, it's the root. Okay,
(21:21):
does your style have to be utterly unique? Well, Uh,
that's a tricky question because you, I believe, are utterly unique,
and so on some level, yes, your style should be unique.
(21:43):
I think the word utterly there is the tricky part.
Does your style have to be utterly unique? In other words,
does your style have to be different than everybody else
in every conceivable way? And I think that's just kind
of silly and ridiculous, because there are we have We
all share more things in common than we have differences
(22:06):
between us, and so there's going to be a lot
of similarities in between different people's style who have truly
found their own style. Okay, As they say, it's not
what you wear, but it's how you wear it. Okay.
So the idea is that, yeah, to a certain degree,
that's the that's that's the gold, that in the buried
(22:29):
treasure to find a few elements of style that for
you are totally and utterly unique to you. But that
doesn't mean that we have to come up with an
architectural style that nobody else has ever heard of before
to express you, or an interior design style or a
paint color or anything like. We don't have to come
(22:52):
up with. You know, we don't have to reinvent the
wheel on every turn because it's just not the way
life works. So, uh, does your style have to be
utterly unique? Not utterly unique, but to a certain degree.
The goal is to find something unique about your style,
all right? Another question that we get all the time.
(23:13):
Does my style have to be what my life is
like now? Or can it be aspirational? Can my style
that I choose for myself be something that I really
want to have happen, that I want more of, but
doesn't necessarily reflect where I'm at and what's going on
(23:34):
with me right now? Okay, yeah, of course, and it
should be again a mixture of the two, because there's
something about that style that you're aspiring to that's already
going on in you. Does that make sense, that's already happening,
that's already reflecting outwards. You may not be in the
best medium to express that style fully. I hear it
(23:57):
all the time. I have a certain style that I want,
but I find myself in a house that is not
reflecting that style at all, or maybe the idea like
even on the big scale that you know, I'm not
a big fan of tutor houses, but I live in one, okay,
because this was the one my family needed, This is
the one that we could afford. This was a lovely home.
(24:19):
But it's not actually exactly my style. How do we
get from point A to point Z there? We'll talk
more about that. But does your style have to be
what your life is like right now? Or can it
be aspirational? Of course it can be aspirational. I hope
you have aspirations to grow and to become and to
reach out and to be more, and so style this tricky,
(24:43):
slippery thing. It's a little easier to understand than what
most people think of. We just need to kind of
pull back the curtain and essentially see that it's routine, repetition,
it's whatever you keep coming back to. It's what you like,
even if what you like is not where you're living,
and it represents to a certain degree, your authentic life
(25:06):
as you live it every day. Okay. It can be
one part aspirational, one part what your life is like now.
It can be one part very much looks like everybody else,
what a lot of other people are doing, and one
part part utter utterly unique. Does that make sense? All right?
I need a cup of coffee Bees so that I
(25:26):
can speak my words good gooder than I am doing.
Right now.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
All right, we're going to be going to the phones
right after the next break, by the way, and the
number to reach me eight three three to ask Dean
A three three the numeral two ask Dean. But until then,
let us continue talking about your style and like, oh
eye roll major ill my style, Like all right, I
(26:02):
don't know, but we're trying to break style down here
this morning so that we can understand it better, especially
as it relates to your home, giving it handles. Essentially,
style is repetition, it's routine. It's whatever you keep coming
back to. It's what you like, it's how you live.
(26:23):
And it's not following in the footsteps of other fashion
icons or anything like that, or any style issues that
you see in magazines. Although these are good clues, they're
good clues about what you like and how you are,
but ultimately, you know, your style is something that you've
(26:44):
got to find for yourself, because you need to know
yourself well enough to start identifying those things. Now, you
don't have to design your style. That's what a designer
is for, not to give you a style, but to
help you express it, find its edges, to find its contours,
and it's details, to show you what the possibilities of
(27:06):
working within your style are and would be. And that's
why it's a beautiful collaboration. I think, working with clients
to help them find their expression of themselves in their home,
and when it's done right, it's not my style overlaid
onto a home. It's their style magnified and detailed by
(27:30):
my particular set of gifts to help them along the way,
to help them find their voice essentially when it comes
to their home, and then they just get to live
in that place and enjoy this hand and glove kind
of experience from there on out. But I've been kind
of answering some questions regarding style. One of them is
(27:54):
really honest, what if my style scares me? What if
what I think secretly is the way that I would
like to live or the way that I would like
to be. What if it frightens me on some level?
What if I don't want anybody else to see it
because I'm afraid everybody else is gonna think I'm a
(28:15):
freak or I'm crazy, and you know what, there are
so many resources for that kind of decision. I mean, essentially,
on a regular basis, Tina and I help people kind
of come out of the closet, as it were, with
their style because they have a lot of people have
an intrinsic fear that okay, you no, you'd believe me, Dane,
(28:38):
you don't want to know what my style really is
because you would just think it's like blah, or you
would freak you out and you would go running to
the door because you're like, no, I'm not going to
do that, And that's never the case. It's never ever
the case. There are always ways to express every imaginable style,
and there's room in the world forevery imaginable style. So
(29:03):
what if my style scares me? I mean, that's you're allowed.
You're allowed, But that's no reason not to pursue it.
It just simply means get the help, get the help
that you need to find the way to express it
that makes you feel most comfortable. Here's another real difficult question,
what if my style conflicts with my partner's style. Well,
(29:26):
remember how I said earlier answering the question does your
style have to be utterly unique? And my answer was
yes and no. Your style should be unique to you.
If there isn't some uniqueness, then it's not probably expressing
the utterly unique person that you are. But the word
utterly utterly unique. No. No. And here's the thing, as
(29:51):
somebody who has been with a partner, who lives with
a partner, who works with a partner, who's virtually with
my partner twenty four to seven, and I can tell
you this, Tina and I are very different people in
our personality structures, and we're very different people, and yet
yet we have built a home and a life together
(30:12):
that is very much our style and it is a
it is how do you describe it, Tina, I mean,
it's it's it's a melding of both together in ways
that that we both want. And I think I think
there's this concern like, what if my style isn't, uh,
you know, conflicts with my partner style. Well, if your
(30:36):
partner doesn't want your style expressed in their life, maybe
they shouldn't be your partner. Maybe you have the wrong partner. Yeah,
I mean that's kind of that, that's kind of the
conclusion that that I've come to because there are things
about you that are so you and that aren't really me,
(30:56):
that they don't emanate from me the way they emanate
from you. But I mean, I want you in my life,
and I also want those things in my life and
into our home. And so there's this finding of this
blending of styles, not this no, we got to we
have to make a decision. Is this the place going
(31:17):
to be your style or my style? And I just
don't really find that as a realistic basis for a partnership.
What do you think? Absolutely not, you have to work together,
but I think there are ways to do it. How
have you found in the past that we mix and
match with folks?
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Well, I think, for example, I think I'm thinking of
a recent consult where the wife said, I like things
very orderly and simple, and my husband's more eclectic, and
he likes to have a lot of things around him
that remind him of family and artwork and photographs, and
so they have set up he has her office, he
(32:00):
has his office, and they really are very different looking,
but that's their spaces that they've created.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
So they get maximum expression in those spaces, and then
the rest of the house kind of takes on a
hybrid form exactly of the two. And it's allowed because
it's like, who wants to have a room and a
home in which you've purged your partner's presence entirely. Again,
I don't think that's necessarily you know, a healthy side.
(32:25):
I hear it all the time of like she shed
man cave, I need a place where I just get
away and it just my place. That's fine, But how
about the rest of the house. Can the rest of
the house be our place exactly? And so you can
find a way. So what if my style conflicts with
my partner's style? You know, I expect it. I don't
know about the word conflict, but doesn't line up with
(32:48):
or isn't the same as sure, And so there's a way.
There's always a way. I don't expect your style to
be the same as your partner's style, really, I mean
because at one point one of us isn't necessary if
we're just carbon copies of each other. Right, So it's
not as big of a problem as it would seem. Now,
(33:11):
A bigger problem is what if my style conflicts with
my neighbors. That's something we'll address when we return to
this conversation. But coming up next, we've got a callboard
full of callers and it is time top of the
second hour to go to the phone, So go nowhere.
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper
(33:34):
on KFI. This has been Home with Dean Sharp, the
House Whisper. Tune into the live broadcast on KFI Am
six forty every Saturday morning from six to eight Pacific
time and every Sunday morning from nine to noon Pacific time,
or anytime on demand on the iHeart Radio app.
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