May 18, 2025 • 38 mins
Dean poses the question, what if my style conflicts with my neighbor’s style? He explains that all neighborhoods have a specific style and flow, which means you must tackle each specific design project in a different way. Designers help you transform your style thoughts into practical expressions. For example, what if you have a preference for everything black? Dean talks about how to apply that style preference to your home in a tasteful way.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
KFI AM six forty. You're listening to Dean Sharp the
House Whisper on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Hey, did
you know that this very program is also the House
Whisperer podcast. Yes, this broadcast is also the House Whisper
podcast that you can listen to anytime, anywhere on demand,
(00:22):
hundreds of episodes, all searchable by topic. It is your
home improvement reference library that we build for you week
after week, year after year. And if you're thinking that's
all great, but what we really need is Dean and
Tina in our house looking at the problem, you can
do that too. You can book an in home design
consult with Me and the t Just go to house
(00:44):
Whisperer dot design for more information. All right, welcome to
the program. Welcome to the third hour of our little program.
We are talking about finding your style, one of the
most difficult topics that I could possibly cover with you. Honestly,
(01:06):
all the technical stuff about concrete foundations and studs and
windows and doors and roofs and tiles, all the stuff
that goes into building your house. This is that's easy
peasy stuff. We could talk about architectural styles all day long.
You know, motifs easy easy, no problem interior styles, no
(01:26):
problem finding your style? Oh that is something that I
need your help with, and you you might need my
help as well as a designer. But the point is
this is a collaboration in which you have to be
willing to tackle the biggest obstacle in the way, and
(01:48):
that is do you have a style? Have you defined it?
You have a sense of what it is that is
your style? And I don't mean by raising any of
these questions, by the way, to imply that you that
everybody listening needs to be walking around with you know,
(02:10):
a full answer to the question of what is your style?
You know, I'm a great example of this of what
I'm saying in that I am a highly highly eclectic
designer and a highly eclectic person. I have a great
appreciation for all sorts of stylings. I don't have a
(02:32):
formulaic look that a lot of designers or architects have.
In other words, I like to do this when they
you know, if I have a reputation for a particular
kind of structure, a particular kind of creation, it is
my reputation that I get under your skin and get
(02:53):
into your brain and figure out what's going to work
best for you, and then we bring that to life,
and so I get it. I get how difficult it
is and how complex it can be. I don't mean
to be oversimplifying it, just because in some facets I'm
trying to simplify it for you so you can at
(03:14):
least start to get your arms around it. So I
hope that comes through today. I am not trying to
oversimplify the question of style. I live in a home
that was pre made before we got here and that
we've done an extensive amount of remodeling to, but we
haven't radically changed the exterior of the home that much.
We've changed the interior quite a bit. Our own style,
(03:37):
the one that Tina and I kind of gravitate toward,
is a hybrid of a lot of different things. We
really enjoy contemporary lines, but we have, by no shape
or form, a contemporary interior to our home. If anything,
we have an early twentieth century of both American and
(04:02):
European and maybe a little French thrown in their stylings
with our home. And then there are a few odd
pieces thrown in here and there that keep it just
healthy and eclectic. But in terms of style, and I'm
just kind of again just sharing our own vibe with you.
You know, we've got those general style parameters early American
(04:27):
cabinetry or early twentieth century American cabinetry in our kitchen
and on our island. We have an open island underneath,
so that it looks more like an older kitchen without
everything enclosed and hidden away. We've got mixing bowls and
serving platters visible underneath our island. It just gives it
that old world vibe. Stone fireplace in the family room
(04:52):
and kind of a French looking cabinet that is mounted
on the wall. Looks like a cupboard could be, you know,
a collectible cupboard, could be a t service cupboard. Actually
what's inside it is our flat screen TV, so that
we don't have to be staring at the black mirror
(05:13):
twenty four to seven when it's time to just sit
in there and have conversation with other people and TV
is not the thing. And yet when you open up
that cabinet and it's movie night, then hidden in that
room is essentially, you know, a a seven point one
Dolby atmost surround system that kind of kicks butt in
(05:36):
terms of performance for that whole experience. So it's a
flex space, but it definitely has kind of, I hope,
an old world charmed to it, a very simple cottage charm. No,
nothing jaw droppingly impressive about our home, because it's it's
a humble home. It's not a big home. It's anyways.
(06:00):
You like it, you like it?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, No, the adobe at most like feature. It was
really cool and like you said to TV, being able
to be heading, I thought it was really cool.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
And just tucking it away and then you know, and
then we love our you know, we love our garden
in the backyard area and the fire pit and all
of that kind of stuff. It just works with us. Yeah,
we design mansions by day and then in the evenings
we come home to our little cottage and we are
well content here because it's our vibe, right and there's
(06:30):
chickens in the yard, and there's beagles running around, and
there's a tortoise up at the guesthouse right now, and
there's birds everywhere. This I think is approaching kind of
our style. It is not utterly consistent everywhere. It is
not utterly consistent everywhere, and we change it up a
(06:52):
little bit, and you know what, that's a reflection of
Tina and I. We are not utterly consistent everywhere we
like to say I like to say especially you know,
I don't deal in hypocrisy. It's very very important that
I that I for me personally, that I say what
(07:13):
I mean, and I mean what I say. But I also,
in an attempt at being as humble as possible, I
reserve the right to disagree with my former self whenever
it suits me. So I'm not utterly consistent with everything,
and you don't have to be either, okay, Because if
you are not in and of yourself utterly consistent in
(07:35):
everything in your life, your style is that. Okay. So
that's the general parameters and the outlines for what we're
talking about when we address this subject of finding your style.
There's one tricky question left and then and then I've
got some other tips for you along the way. But
(07:56):
one tricky question that I find a lot of people
are concerned, and that is what if my style conflicts
with my neighbor's style. Now, I'm assuming what we're talking
about is the outside of the house here, So let's
have that conversation. We'll do it, But first.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Glad that you are aboard, Happy that you're here listening
to us as we talk about all things your home,
especially taking your ordinary house and transforming it into an
extraordinary home. And we do that through step by step
process of discovering your style. And that is the big
(08:40):
topic that we are attempting to take a chunk out
of today. And it's only a chunk that we can
take out of it because it's it's a deep, extensive
subject because it has to do with you, and you're
deep and complicated, and so what I'm trying to do
is not oversimplify it, but simplify it enough so that
you can start to get your arms around it, because
(09:01):
I don't want you to be intimidated by the idea
of like, oh, I've got to find my style. What
is my style? I don't have a style. I'm not
one of those people who have style. Well, as we
said at the top of the show, and if you
weren't here with us, I'm going to repeat this because
it's very valuable. The word style really really comes down
(09:21):
to becoming a synonym for those things which we habitually
repeat those things we do again and again, the things
that we keep returning to again and again and again.
When we say somebody has a certain style, it means
that we've noticed that there's a flow, a rhythm to them,
a rhythm that repeats itself, something that we can count
(09:43):
on seeing that we can behaviors or a manner of speech.
You know, those of you who are fans of KFI. Right,
if I was to ask you, you know, what is
Tim Conway's style, you know, and you'd be like, well,
you know, apart from his style of beach, which is
like dangjong with that guy, right, Uh, that's his style.
(10:05):
That's one of his you know, it's his catchphrase. It's
just kind of the way he moves around, his you know,
comedic way of doing things. Uh. And then also you
know he has an obsession with high speed chases on
the freeway. There are just a lot of things that
Tim does that is a very very much Tim And
(10:26):
so we find somebody's style simply when they repeat the
same kind of maneuvers. And so, for you, how does
this apply to you? Your style is not about oh
you're you're on the front page of a fashion magazine. No,
it's not that at all. It's about the questioning the
you know what, what is it about me that keeps
(10:48):
returning to this thing or to that thing that I
love about this or I love about that? And then
it's a real question of how can we express that
better in your home? How can we be bold enough
to say, you know what, this is my life, this
is my house. Why not let it fly a little
(11:08):
bit more? Why not let myself out of the closet,
as it were, and just be more fully me? And
if you can't be fully you at home, where exactly
are you going to be fully you? I mean, honestly
behind your closed door at home? I want that place
(11:31):
to be full of you. I want you to be
full of you. And so the style search continues right now,
right before the break, I asked maybe the last tough
question of the day, which was, what if my style
conflicts with my neighbors? Now by that, I'm assuming that
what you're talking about specifically is the exterior style of
(11:54):
a home, when we're saying it conflicts with the neighbors,
and Ah, I gotta be honest with you on this one.
I'm torn, of course. I want you to be free,
free to do whatever you want and to express yourself
(12:15):
however you want. But honestly understand, I never want to
be that architectural designer who the neighbors scowl at as
I drive down the street from your house and they
point at me and say you, you're the one that
allowed them to build that thing in our neighborhood. I
(12:37):
get that, and I'm really sensitive to that because here's
the thing. Neighborhoods have a style as well. Neighborhoods have
a flow. And do I want you to have a
contemporary home? Yes? Should we do that concrete and glass
thing right in the middle of of this neighborhood full
(13:02):
of single story California ranch houses. I'm really torn because
what I really want to say is no, we probably
shouldn't now now, given that, given that our coller earlier
was a gym earlier, today, who I encourage? Hey, the
(13:23):
inside of your place can be whatever it wants to be, Okay,
it does not have to match the outside of the
house whatsoever. I'll also go as far as to say
that the backside and the rear facing side of your
home can be anything you want it to be. Now,
take me seriously when I say this. I'll give you
(13:43):
a perfect example. I had a project where had a
client loved Victorian homes, but love them from the outside,
not from the inside Victorian homes. Once you get inside
all that gingerbread, you realize the windows aren't very big,
the rooms tend to be dark, they can be really boxy,
(14:03):
they can be really small, and they can feel very
at times claustrophobic, depending on the style of Victorian home
that it is. So here's a client who wants to,
you know, find a way through this, right, Here's a
client with a hybrid eclectic style. And so what did
we do? What we ended up approaching the problem from
(14:26):
the perspective of what do we see upfront and what
do we experience in the back. Okay, it was somebody's said,
that's like a mullet right, party up front or business
up front party in the back, right, And so this
was a mullet house. And it works like this. It
works from the perspective of how you experience a home.
(14:50):
You experience the front of a home from the street
as you approach it, right, so that's its face. Once
you're inside the home, you experience the rear yard and
the rear of the property through the windows of the home. Okay, Now,
of course, if you walk out in the back and
you look back, then you're seeing the style of the
(15:11):
house there. But primarily, once you're inside, you experienced the
rear of the house through its windows and through its
portals and those apertures. So the point was this What
we did is we tastefully opened up the whole backside
of this Victorian home. We did not change it from
Victorian styling, but we increase the size of windows and
(15:35):
door openings to the absolute maximum that we could, so
that the front of the home maintained this absolute no
question eighteen eighties Victorian queen Anne Gingerbread, look, no question
whatsoever as you walk in. The thing that I was
proudest of is that people didn't really comment on that
(15:58):
the house had lost its because as they walk in
and they're experiencing the inside of the home, they're stretching
out and experience these beautiful English gardens in the backyard,
but they don't realize they're looking at them through really
really non Victorian oversized windows and glass doors and such
(16:20):
in a way that would not have been traditionally eighteen
eighties Victorian. So we transformed the hybridized style of this
home so that it had all the light and the
airiness and the openness and the beauty, and what they
saw through that glass was beautiful English gardens. And so
(16:43):
the magic of that Victorian vibe didn't let up, even
though technically we were projecting that magic into the house
through non Victorian windows and doors. Understand, there's a creative
way to approach it all. And also we did not
change the character of the house and mess up the
(17:04):
flow of the neighborhood. So my encouragement to the question,
what if my style, my exterior style, conflicts with my neighbors,
I would tell you, and other designers would tell you different. Okay,
other designers would say, what the hell do whatever the
hell you want to do, And I would tell you,
don't be that person on your block. Let's find a
(17:27):
way if there is a way to give you that
radically different vibe without you know, offending the rest of
the neighbors on the street, if it's possible. Maybe it's not.
I'm just saying that's the way I tend to go.
It's not that I'm a people pleaser. I just I
(17:48):
like neighborhoods that have a flow to them. And I
don't want to be the one designer who built the
house that everybody's like, oh yeah, yeah, you see that thing? Yeah,
why did they build that here? And I don't want
you to be that person either. I would encourage you
not to be. All right, So there you go. That's
my view on hybridizing that design. Now, right after the
(18:09):
break here, let's take a look at some of the
very very step by step practical things you can do
to begin discovering what it is that you like and
what it is that you want, whether it's Pinterest boards
or things like that. But I want to give you
some instructions of how to do that so that you
really get to the why underneath the what. Okay, because
(18:31):
there is a why there, it's actually the most important question.
We will do all of that right after.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Your Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper. We're talking
about your home as we do every weekend Saturday morning
six to eight Pacific time, Sundays nine to noon Pacific time,
and we are a unique program that's I don't know
if you you could put us in the I guess
we're technically a home improvement show. Of course, we're a
(19:04):
home improvement show, but we talk about much much more
than just how to fix leaky toilets. We get into
the nitty gritty of transforming your home into something truly
essentially you, and to tackle that today, we've had this
discussion and ongoing discussion that we're still having about you
(19:27):
finding your style. Okay, a couple more pieces of just
general advice about this. I want to break it down.
I wanted you know, I've been telling you all morning
how important it is. And the reason that finding your
style is important is because it allows the house that
(19:48):
you live in to reflect back to you your values,
your priorities, and it just becomes something that reinforces who
you are, Okay, and so as a result of that,
of course, styling and design is important for this reason.
And like Winston Churchhill said, we shape our buildings and
(20:09):
thereafter they shape us, and they do they have these
incremental effects upon us as we live in spaces, and
somebody like me, who's an architectural designer, I take those
things very very seriously. Now, in contrast to that, I
don't want you to get all bent out of shape
and overblown on this subject. Here's a Now, guys, you
(20:34):
remember Fight Club. Remember that movie Fight Club with Ed Norton.
It was a really cool film back in the I
don't know, nineties, was it a nineties film? Nineties? Fight
Club was a cool film with Ed Norton and Brad
Pitt in it. We found out in the end that
both of them were the same guy. Oh, I'm sorry
you've never seen fight Now. I've spoiled it for it. Hey,
(20:55):
the movie's been out for like thirty years. Okay, so
I'm not really worried about the spoiler. But there is
a point where Ed Norton's character is kind of mocking
the whole cultural I got to look like everybody else
flow and he he is actually mocking Ikea, the Ikea catalog.
(21:18):
And he asked this question in sort of his you know, well,
he asked this question. He said, what coffee table defines
me as a person? And I love that quote, okay,
And his point is that that that's kind of what
(21:39):
society is forcing upon us, what coffee table defines me
as a person. He's using it as kind of a
as a vibe of the silliness of materialism. My answer
is different. My answer to that question is, no coffee
table defines you as a person. Okay, you just don't
need to take the idea of design that far. Just
(22:01):
here's the thing. Of course, there is not a coffee
table that defines you as a person. But we're just
looking to make a good choice that resonates with you
in this setting, here and now. It doesn't have to
be once and for all. Oh I have found it.
I have found the table that will forever reflect who
(22:24):
I am as a person. No, no, no, no, We're
just looking to make a good choice, something that resonates
with you, something that resonates with your style in this setting,
here and now. Right. Like I was telling you before,
TEENA and I, we live in a home whose interiors
(22:45):
are various forms of like twentieth century design. Was that intentional? Yes,
it was an intentional decision. Why Because we love that
stuff and it's a thoughtful home. We've tried to be
mindful about all of our choices. As a result, I
think our home kind of tells our story. But does
it tell our whole story? Of course not. Does the
(23:07):
fact that we've chosen these expressions for this house in
this neighborhood mean that we couldn't live in another style
of home somewhere else, Not at all. We love so
many different styles. All it means is that this home
tells as much of our story as it possibly can.
And that's really kind of it. And so we can
(23:28):
take the pressure off this whole idea of like, oh
if I don't find my style, I'm gonna live an
unfulfilled life. No. No coffee table defines you as a person,
all right, So now how do we start picking through
this bit by bit bit by bit Again? As I said,
style is really about routine and about repetition. You know,
(23:51):
I said that, you know, somebody's got a groove, right
their groove. That means that they do something so often
that it's made a groove in the floor, It's made
a groove in the ground. They've got their groove. It's
their way, repetition and routine. So start taking a look
at that in your life. What are the things you
keep coming back to? Start writing them down? Write down.
(24:12):
They don't have to be architectural things. I just want
you to write down things that you keep coming back to.
I love to cook. Aha, there's a clue. You know,
those things, those kinds of things. Right, I love being
outside more than I like being inside. All right. I
find myself sitting in this way, on this kind of
(24:32):
situation more than I do anything. Okay, start writing those
things down. Another thing is look to your wardrobe and
you're like, okay, now you've crossed the line, deam, because
my wardrobe is a disaster of non style. Okay, no, no, no,
this is the thing. Take a good hard look at
your favorite clothing items or the clothes that you wish
(24:53):
that you own. That's fine too. Pay attention colors, textures, attitude.
Are you sport? Is it more elegant, is it more conservative?
Is it more modern? Is it playful? Is it beauty?
Is it relaxed? Is it flirty? Okay, whatever, whatever. Just
start paying attention to how you tend to roll in clothes,
(25:15):
and it starts to give you just another clue. It's
just a clue. Doesn't have to be the answer. It's
just a clue.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I was surprised, and pleasantly surprised. I was talking to
Amy King about this on Friday morning on wake up call,
and she said, you know what, that's so true. Dean,
She's like, I try. I have tried so many times
in the past to wear prints, just floral prints and
smaller patterns things like that. And she's like, you know,
every time I'm in a store and I think, oh,
(25:44):
let's try this blouse and it's got this kind of
vibe to it, I always stare in the mirror and
I'm like, nope, no, and I just keep returning to
solid colors and things like that. And she's like, and
then after you and I talked, I noticed I don't
have any floral print pillows in my house or floral
print comforters. I tend to move towards solid colors and
(26:09):
different shades of solid colors. And I'm like, wow, you
see that is somebody who's just like becoming aware of
something about herself and how it translates out into the
physical world. So look to your wardrobe, look to the
exterior of homes. If exterior style is one of the
things that you're trying to figure out when you drive
around your city or your town, what house catches your eye,
(26:31):
what inspires you take a picture? Right, don't make a
big deal out of so somebody calls the cops, All right,
but to take a picture. And here is the thing.
With all of these images that you're starting to collect,
I want you to get underneath the what of them? Okay,
take a picture of anything or everything that pleases you,
(26:54):
that thrills you, that stimulates you. Whether it's the outside
of a house, whether it's a garden, whether it's a
piece of furniture, whether it's a magazine picture that you
found or something online on a website. Hold on to it,
collect it, tuck it away. You don't have to, you know,
drill a well right then and there. Just tuck it
(27:15):
away and then go back to it later. But ask
this question, not just the what about this picture has
got you stirred up for some reason? But and don't
try to nail down oh ooh, I think it's because
it's colonial style. No no, no, no. Just take a
look at what is got you going, and then ask
(27:36):
the question, the harder question, why why do you like that?
Why do you like that kitchen image that you saw?
Tell me what is about it? This is an exercise
we do with our clients all the time. They'll come
back and they'll have done their homework. They'll hand me
twenty kitchens images, you know, because we're trying to figure
(27:57):
that out. They'll hand me twenty kitchen images and they'll
be frust because they'll be like, I think I failed
the assignment. I'm like, why you just gave me twenty pictures? Well,
because they're all really different, really different. I'm like, well,
all right, well let's see. And we start going through them,
and I start to ask the question, why why this
(28:17):
image here? And I take notes and we get about
halfway through and I'm like, these aren't all different, They're
all the same. Jane, what, yeah, do you realize you
have keep gravitating regardless of the look of the cabinets
or the countertops or the colors, you keep gravitating towards
this roomy area here and bright light coming through over
(28:41):
a breakfast table. And she's like, oh my gosh, I
didn't even realize that that pattern kept repeating itself. And ahha,
and so now yet another clue as to her style.
All right, I got a few more for you. We'll
do it right after.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
One of our fundamental realities here on the show is
that design matters most when it comes to your home.
When it comes to intentionality in life, design matters most.
I want you to take design more seriously. If you
want to transform your house into an amazing home. It's
(29:25):
not just about a material, it's not just about a color,
it's not just about those new kitchen cabinets or whatever.
It is about the design. Design is nothing more than
creative intentionality made manifest in the world. Okay. Design is
the thing that will radically change the house, not the
budget or the remodel, not the amount of the quality
(29:49):
of the materials, or I should say, the priciness of
the materials. Once we've figured out your style and we
have matched a design to it, then we're ninety percent
of the way there. And honestly, you can now build
that project out of paper or platinum and it won't
(30:10):
alter its overall effect that much. And I mean that
in all seriousness. We are involved in a state level
projects and in very simple, very basic, very you know, cozy, humble, wonderful,
mainstream home, middle class projects. And the fact of the
(30:32):
matter is whether we're in a shed and I say
this in the show, it doesn't matter if it's a
condo or a cottage, or a castle. The fact of
the matter is that design matters most across the board,
and part of that design is rooted and anchored in
finding your style, discovering what your style is. And I
hope that I've given you some more tools today to
(30:55):
figure that out, and that you understand the importance of
and don't overemphasize and freak out about the over importance
of finding your style. It's just something that we want
to zero in on the best we can so that
we make a home reflect you as much as possible, because,
like I said earlier in the show, if you can't
(31:17):
be you fully you at home, where is that going
to happen? Where else is that going to happen? Right?
So that's what we want. Now. Don't forsake the idea
that once you start to zero in on this, you
may need help. You may need to get a designer involved,
because what we designers do is the good ones. At
(31:39):
least I would like to think, is we help you
translate those style thoughts into practical, functional, creative expressions. You know,
earlier in the show, I said, one of the big
questions that I get is that what you know, what
if my style scares me? I mean, what if it
frightens me that if I fully express myself it'll be
(32:03):
something like, yeah, you know, here's an example. I give
you a quick example. What if Dean I find out
or what if I already secretly know I love things
that are black? Black. I just love black. I just
everything that I come. I love the way that light
(32:24):
reflects off of a matte black surface. I love the
way things are black, the way that they draw your
attention in and and so what if that's one of
my style choices? I'm like, Okay, what if they're like, well,
I don't want to. I mean, what would happen if
I painted the entire inside of my house black and
(32:46):
everybody thinks I'm a vampire or I'm a goth and
I'm not. Uh, And I'm like, all right, all right,
pump the brakes here, pump the breaks here a little bit.
Don't be afraid of expressing your style. But maybe you
need a little assistance along the way. Well what assistance
could you give me? Like, well, do you happen to
(33:06):
know what the very very best, most potent background is
or objects that are black? What is that? Walls and
surfaces that are light and bright and white, because it
is contrast that actually draws your attention to that bold, black,
(33:29):
beautiful object. I want you to picture a grand piano
that is painted in multiple layers of lacquer black. Yes,
you know exactly what I'm talking about, that big black
brand piano. Now put that grand piano on a black
backdrop on a black stage in a black room, and
(33:52):
try to imagine its impact. Now take it out of
that room. Put it in a white room with a
white floor and white walls and bright light all around it. Aha,
you see what I'm saying. In that white space, your
eye is just drawn to it and its beauty pops
and so you see, you're in love with black. But
(34:15):
maybe the designer helps you understand that the best way
to display that love is actually not having to commit to,
you know, living in a cave of darkness, but actually bright, beautiful,
high contrasting styles around it so that it becomes the
(34:36):
focal point of every view. That's just one simple example.
There are a gabillion more. So that is why, my friend,
I want you to go on this journey. I want
you to look at stuff. I want you to collect
those things that you love the look of, and then
you ask the question why you get underneath it?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Why?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Why do I like this thing? Also, you know, it
takes some photos of things you hate. That also helps
like ooh I hate this and then look at that
and like why, oh, because I just oh it's cold.
Oh it's hard, Oh it's it's so it's so stark. Okay, great,
Now we get to know your personality from both sides,
(35:18):
and slowly but surely, piece by piece, taking the pressure off,
let's find out what your real style is. Ah, Okay,
all right, that's just a little primer today. I mean
we're you know, we're always just scratching the surface. But
I hope it gives you some some some alignment. Uh.
(35:39):
I'm gonna leave you with this quick thought today. And
it's so long that encouragement, that same encouragement. I just
want looking for some quotes, some thoughts about style and
about you, and just ways to encourage you. And I'm
simply going to leave you with a couple of thoughts.
How about this one. You were born and original, don't
(36:00):
die a copy. Okay. Your authenticity speaks louder than words.
And that's what I want for you, and that's what
I want you to experience at home. Okay, the privilege
of a lifetime is being who you are, right, and
you owe it to yourself to live your life as
(36:20):
authentically as you can. Because here's another one. Life's too
short to be anyone but yourself, right, And that's really it.
The authentic self is a soul made visible and realness
and authenticity gives life its magic. And that's it. That's it.
(36:44):
It's a very very simple thought. And I just want
to encourage you. Don't be afraid of who you are.
Embrace who you are. Look at who you are with
all of your imperfections and all of your uniqueness, find
your style, and live your life off thuthentically. In the end,
for me, it all comes down to a rule that
(37:05):
I wrote for myself years ago, and I won't give
you all the background on it. It simply comes down
to this. For me to live my style out loud
and for me to live authentically comes down to this
one principle that everything meaningful in my life has to
survive honesty. If I want something to be meaningful a
(37:26):
relationship with Tina, I have to be honest with her
about who I am, about what I want, about who
she is. And about what she I can't pretend that
something is there that isn't, or vice versa. Everything meaningful
in your life has to learn to survive honesty, and
(37:46):
that is encouragement enough to get out there and find
your style, and once you do, get busy building yourself
a beautiful life. Everybody, have a fantastic Sunday afternoon, and
we will see you right back here next weekend. This
has been Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper. Tune
into the live broadcast on KFI AM six forty every
(38:09):
Saturday morning from six to eight Pacific time and every
Sunday morning from nine to noon Pacific time, or anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app
KFI AM six forty. You're listening to Dean Sharp the
House Whisper on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Hey, did
you know that this very program is also the House
Whisperer podcast. Yes, this broadcast is also the House Whisper
podcast that you can listen to anytime, anywhere on demand,
(00:22):
hundreds of episodes, all searchable by topic. It is your
home improvement reference library that we build for you week
after week, year after year. And if you're thinking that's
all great, but what we really need is Dean and
Tina in our house looking at the problem, you can
do that too. You can book an in home design
consult with Me and the t Just go to house
(00:44):
Whisperer dot design for more information. All right, welcome to
the program. Welcome to the third hour of our little program.
We are talking about finding your style, one of the
most difficult topics that I could possibly cover with you. Honestly,
(01:06):
all the technical stuff about concrete foundations and studs and
windows and doors and roofs and tiles, all the stuff
that goes into building your house. This is that's easy
peasy stuff. We could talk about architectural styles all day long.
You know, motifs easy easy, no problem interior styles, no
(01:26):
problem finding your style? Oh that is something that I
need your help with, and you you might need my
help as well as a designer. But the point is
this is a collaboration in which you have to be
willing to tackle the biggest obstacle in the way, and
(01:48):
that is do you have a style? Have you defined it?
You have a sense of what it is that is
your style? And I don't mean by raising any of
these questions, by the way, to imply that you that
everybody listening needs to be walking around with you know,
(02:10):
a full answer to the question of what is your style?
You know, I'm a great example of this of what
I'm saying in that I am a highly highly eclectic
designer and a highly eclectic person. I have a great
appreciation for all sorts of stylings. I don't have a
(02:32):
formulaic look that a lot of designers or architects have.
In other words, I like to do this when they
you know, if I have a reputation for a particular
kind of structure, a particular kind of creation, it is
my reputation that I get under your skin and get
(02:53):
into your brain and figure out what's going to work
best for you, and then we bring that to life,
and so I get it. I get how difficult it
is and how complex it can be. I don't mean
to be oversimplifying it, just because in some facets I'm
trying to simplify it for you so you can at
(03:14):
least start to get your arms around it. So I
hope that comes through today. I am not trying to
oversimplify the question of style. I live in a home
that was pre made before we got here and that
we've done an extensive amount of remodeling to, but we
haven't radically changed the exterior of the home that much.
We've changed the interior quite a bit. Our own style,
(03:37):
the one that Tina and I kind of gravitate toward,
is a hybrid of a lot of different things. We
really enjoy contemporary lines, but we have, by no shape
or form, a contemporary interior to our home. If anything,
we have an early twentieth century of both American and
(04:02):
European and maybe a little French thrown in their stylings
with our home. And then there are a few odd
pieces thrown in here and there that keep it just
healthy and eclectic. But in terms of style, and I'm
just kind of again just sharing our own vibe with you.
You know, we've got those general style parameters early American
(04:27):
cabinetry or early twentieth century American cabinetry in our kitchen
and on our island. We have an open island underneath,
so that it looks more like an older kitchen without
everything enclosed and hidden away. We've got mixing bowls and
serving platters visible underneath our island. It just gives it
that old world vibe. Stone fireplace in the family room
(04:52):
and kind of a French looking cabinet that is mounted
on the wall. Looks like a cupboard could be, you know,
a collectible cupboard, could be a t service cupboard. Actually
what's inside it is our flat screen TV, so that
we don't have to be staring at the black mirror
(05:13):
twenty four to seven when it's time to just sit
in there and have conversation with other people and TV
is not the thing. And yet when you open up
that cabinet and it's movie night, then hidden in that
room is essentially, you know, a a seven point one
Dolby atmost surround system that kind of kicks butt in
(05:36):
terms of performance for that whole experience. So it's a
flex space, but it definitely has kind of, I hope,
an old world charmed to it, a very simple cottage charm. No,
nothing jaw droppingly impressive about our home, because it's it's
a humble home. It's not a big home. It's anyways.
(06:00):
You like it, you like it?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, No, the adobe at most like feature. It was
really cool and like you said to TV, being able
to be heading, I thought it was really cool.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
And just tucking it away and then you know, and
then we love our you know, we love our garden
in the backyard area and the fire pit and all
of that kind of stuff. It just works with us. Yeah,
we design mansions by day and then in the evenings
we come home to our little cottage and we are
well content here because it's our vibe, right and there's
(06:30):
chickens in the yard, and there's beagles running around, and
there's a tortoise up at the guesthouse right now, and
there's birds everywhere. This I think is approaching kind of
our style. It is not utterly consistent everywhere. It is
not utterly consistent everywhere, and we change it up a
(06:52):
little bit, and you know what, that's a reflection of
Tina and I. We are not utterly consistent everywhere we
like to say I like to say especially you know,
I don't deal in hypocrisy. It's very very important that
I that I for me personally, that I say what
(07:13):
I mean, and I mean what I say. But I also,
in an attempt at being as humble as possible, I
reserve the right to disagree with my former self whenever
it suits me. So I'm not utterly consistent with everything,
and you don't have to be either, okay, Because if
you are not in and of yourself utterly consistent in
(07:35):
everything in your life, your style is that. Okay. So
that's the general parameters and the outlines for what we're
talking about when we address this subject of finding your style.
There's one tricky question left and then and then I've
got some other tips for you along the way. But
(07:56):
one tricky question that I find a lot of people
are concerned, and that is what if my style conflicts
with my neighbor's style. Now, I'm assuming what we're talking
about is the outside of the house here, So let's
have that conversation. We'll do it, But first.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Glad that you are aboard, Happy that you're here listening
to us as we talk about all things your home,
especially taking your ordinary house and transforming it into an
extraordinary home. And we do that through step by step
process of discovering your style. And that is the big
(08:40):
topic that we are attempting to take a chunk out
of today. And it's only a chunk that we can
take out of it because it's it's a deep, extensive
subject because it has to do with you, and you're
deep and complicated, and so what I'm trying to do
is not oversimplify it, but simplify it enough so that
you can start to get your arms around it, because
(09:01):
I don't want you to be intimidated by the idea
of like, oh, I've got to find my style. What
is my style? I don't have a style. I'm not
one of those people who have style. Well, as we
said at the top of the show, and if you
weren't here with us, I'm going to repeat this because
it's very valuable. The word style really really comes down
(09:21):
to becoming a synonym for those things which we habitually
repeat those things we do again and again, the things
that we keep returning to again and again and again.
When we say somebody has a certain style, it means
that we've noticed that there's a flow, a rhythm to them,
a rhythm that repeats itself, something that we can count
(09:43):
on seeing that we can behaviors or a manner of speech.
You know, those of you who are fans of KFI. Right,
if I was to ask you, you know, what is
Tim Conway's style, you know, and you'd be like, well,
you know, apart from his style of beach, which is
like dangjong with that guy, right, Uh, that's his style.
(10:05):
That's one of his you know, it's his catchphrase. It's
just kind of the way he moves around, his you know,
comedic way of doing things. Uh. And then also you
know he has an obsession with high speed chases on
the freeway. There are just a lot of things that
Tim does that is a very very much Tim And
(10:26):
so we find somebody's style simply when they repeat the
same kind of maneuvers. And so, for you, how does
this apply to you? Your style is not about oh
you're you're on the front page of a fashion magazine. No,
it's not that at all. It's about the questioning the
you know what, what is it about me that keeps
(10:48):
returning to this thing or to that thing that I
love about this or I love about that? And then
it's a real question of how can we express that
better in your home? How can we be bold enough
to say, you know what, this is my life, this
is my house. Why not let it fly a little
(11:08):
bit more? Why not let myself out of the closet,
as it were, and just be more fully me? And
if you can't be fully you at home, where exactly
are you going to be fully you? I mean, honestly
behind your closed door at home? I want that place
(11:31):
to be full of you. I want you to be
full of you. And so the style search continues right now,
right before the break, I asked maybe the last tough
question of the day, which was, what if my style
conflicts with my neighbors? Now by that, I'm assuming that
what you're talking about specifically is the exterior style of
(11:54):
a home, when we're saying it conflicts with the neighbors,
and Ah, I gotta be honest with you on this one.
I'm torn, of course. I want you to be free,
free to do whatever you want and to express yourself
(12:15):
however you want. But honestly understand, I never want to
be that architectural designer who the neighbors scowl at as
I drive down the street from your house and they
point at me and say you, you're the one that
allowed them to build that thing in our neighborhood. I
(12:37):
get that, and I'm really sensitive to that because here's
the thing. Neighborhoods have a style as well. Neighborhoods have
a flow. And do I want you to have a
contemporary home? Yes? Should we do that concrete and glass
thing right in the middle of of this neighborhood full
(13:02):
of single story California ranch houses. I'm really torn because
what I really want to say is no, we probably
shouldn't now now, given that, given that our coller earlier
was a gym earlier, today, who I encourage? Hey, the
(13:23):
inside of your place can be whatever it wants to be, Okay,
it does not have to match the outside of the
house whatsoever. I'll also go as far as to say
that the backside and the rear facing side of your
home can be anything you want it to be. Now,
take me seriously when I say this. I'll give you
(13:43):
a perfect example. I had a project where had a
client loved Victorian homes, but love them from the outside,
not from the inside Victorian homes. Once you get inside
all that gingerbread, you realize the windows aren't very big,
the rooms tend to be dark, they can be really boxy,
(14:03):
they can be really small, and they can feel very
at times claustrophobic, depending on the style of Victorian home
that it is. So here's a client who wants to,
you know, find a way through this, right, Here's a
client with a hybrid eclectic style. And so what did
we do? What we ended up approaching the problem from
(14:26):
the perspective of what do we see upfront and what
do we experience in the back. Okay, it was somebody's said,
that's like a mullet right, party up front or business
up front party in the back, right, And so this
was a mullet house. And it works like this. It
works from the perspective of how you experience a home.
(14:50):
You experience the front of a home from the street
as you approach it, right, so that's its face. Once
you're inside the home, you experience the rear yard and
the rear of the property through the windows of the home. Okay, Now,
of course, if you walk out in the back and
you look back, then you're seeing the style of the
(15:11):
house there. But primarily, once you're inside, you experienced the
rear of the house through its windows and through its
portals and those apertures. So the point was this What
we did is we tastefully opened up the whole backside
of this Victorian home. We did not change it from
Victorian styling, but we increase the size of windows and
(15:35):
door openings to the absolute maximum that we could, so
that the front of the home maintained this absolute no
question eighteen eighties Victorian queen Anne Gingerbread, look, no question
whatsoever as you walk in. The thing that I was
proudest of is that people didn't really comment on that
(15:58):
the house had lost its because as they walk in
and they're experiencing the inside of the home, they're stretching
out and experience these beautiful English gardens in the backyard,
but they don't realize they're looking at them through really
really non Victorian oversized windows and glass doors and such
(16:20):
in a way that would not have been traditionally eighteen
eighties Victorian. So we transformed the hybridized style of this
home so that it had all the light and the
airiness and the openness and the beauty, and what they
saw through that glass was beautiful English gardens. And so
(16:43):
the magic of that Victorian vibe didn't let up, even
though technically we were projecting that magic into the house
through non Victorian windows and doors. Understand, there's a creative
way to approach it all. And also we did not
change the character of the house and mess up the
(17:04):
flow of the neighborhood. So my encouragement to the question,
what if my style, my exterior style, conflicts with my neighbors,
I would tell you, and other designers would tell you different. Okay,
other designers would say, what the hell do whatever the
hell you want to do, And I would tell you,
don't be that person on your block. Let's find a
(17:27):
way if there is a way to give you that
radically different vibe without you know, offending the rest of
the neighbors on the street, if it's possible. Maybe it's not.
I'm just saying that's the way I tend to go.
It's not that I'm a people pleaser. I just I
(17:48):
like neighborhoods that have a flow to them. And I
don't want to be the one designer who built the
house that everybody's like, oh yeah, yeah, you see that thing? Yeah,
why did they build that here? And I don't want
you to be that person either. I would encourage you
not to be. All right, So there you go. That's
my view on hybridizing that design. Now, right after the
(18:09):
break here, let's take a look at some of the
very very step by step practical things you can do
to begin discovering what it is that you like and
what it is that you want, whether it's Pinterest boards
or things like that. But I want to give you
some instructions of how to do that so that you
really get to the why underneath the what. Okay, because
(18:31):
there is a why there, it's actually the most important question.
We will do all of that right after.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Your Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper. We're talking
about your home as we do every weekend Saturday morning
six to eight Pacific time, Sundays nine to noon Pacific time,
and we are a unique program that's I don't know
if you you could put us in the I guess
we're technically a home improvement show. Of course, we're a
(19:04):
home improvement show, but we talk about much much more
than just how to fix leaky toilets. We get into
the nitty gritty of transforming your home into something truly
essentially you, and to tackle that today, we've had this
discussion and ongoing discussion that we're still having about you
(19:27):
finding your style. Okay, a couple more pieces of just
general advice about this. I want to break it down.
I wanted you know, I've been telling you all morning
how important it is. And the reason that finding your
style is important is because it allows the house that
(19:48):
you live in to reflect back to you your values,
your priorities, and it just becomes something that reinforces who
you are, Okay, and so as a result of that,
of course, styling and design is important for this reason.
And like Winston Churchhill said, we shape our buildings and
(20:09):
thereafter they shape us, and they do they have these
incremental effects upon us as we live in spaces, and
somebody like me, who's an architectural designer, I take those
things very very seriously. Now, in contrast to that, I
don't want you to get all bent out of shape
and overblown on this subject. Here's a Now, guys, you
(20:34):
remember Fight Club. Remember that movie Fight Club with Ed Norton.
It was a really cool film back in the I
don't know, nineties, was it a nineties film? Nineties? Fight
Club was a cool film with Ed Norton and Brad
Pitt in it. We found out in the end that
both of them were the same guy. Oh, I'm sorry
you've never seen fight Now. I've spoiled it for it. Hey,
(20:55):
the movie's been out for like thirty years. Okay, so
I'm not really worried about the spoiler. But there is
a point where Ed Norton's character is kind of mocking
the whole cultural I got to look like everybody else
flow and he he is actually mocking Ikea, the Ikea catalog.
(21:18):
And he asked this question in sort of his you know, well,
he asked this question. He said, what coffee table defines
me as a person? And I love that quote, okay,
And his point is that that that's kind of what
(21:39):
society is forcing upon us, what coffee table defines me
as a person. He's using it as kind of a
as a vibe of the silliness of materialism. My answer
is different. My answer to that question is, no coffee
table defines you as a person. Okay, you just don't
need to take the idea of design that far. Just
(22:01):
here's the thing. Of course, there is not a coffee
table that defines you as a person. But we're just
looking to make a good choice that resonates with you
in this setting, here and now. It doesn't have to
be once and for all. Oh I have found it.
I have found the table that will forever reflect who
(22:24):
I am as a person. No, no, no, no, We're
just looking to make a good choice, something that resonates
with you, something that resonates with your style in this setting,
here and now. Right. Like I was telling you before,
TEENA and I, we live in a home whose interiors
(22:45):
are various forms of like twentieth century design. Was that intentional? Yes,
it was an intentional decision. Why Because we love that
stuff and it's a thoughtful home. We've tried to be
mindful about all of our choices. As a result, I
think our home kind of tells our story. But does
it tell our whole story? Of course not. Does the
(23:07):
fact that we've chosen these expressions for this house in
this neighborhood mean that we couldn't live in another style
of home somewhere else, Not at all. We love so
many different styles. All it means is that this home
tells as much of our story as it possibly can.
And that's really kind of it. And so we can
(23:28):
take the pressure off this whole idea of like, oh
if I don't find my style, I'm gonna live an
unfulfilled life. No. No coffee table defines you as a person,
all right, So now how do we start picking through
this bit by bit bit by bit Again? As I said,
style is really about routine and about repetition. You know,
(23:51):
I said that, you know, somebody's got a groove, right
their groove. That means that they do something so often
that it's made a groove in the floor, It's made
a groove in the ground. They've got their groove. It's
their way, repetition and routine. So start taking a look
at that in your life. What are the things you
keep coming back to? Start writing them down? Write down.
(24:12):
They don't have to be architectural things. I just want
you to write down things that you keep coming back to.
I love to cook. Aha, there's a clue. You know,
those things, those kinds of things. Right, I love being
outside more than I like being inside. All right. I
find myself sitting in this way, on this kind of
(24:32):
situation more than I do anything. Okay, start writing those
things down. Another thing is look to your wardrobe and
you're like, okay, now you've crossed the line, deam, because
my wardrobe is a disaster of non style. Okay, no, no, no,
this is the thing. Take a good hard look at
your favorite clothing items or the clothes that you wish
(24:53):
that you own. That's fine too. Pay attention colors, textures, attitude.
Are you sport? Is it more elegant, is it more conservative?
Is it more modern? Is it playful? Is it beauty?
Is it relaxed? Is it flirty? Okay, whatever, whatever. Just
start paying attention to how you tend to roll in clothes,
(25:15):
and it starts to give you just another clue. It's
just a clue. Doesn't have to be the answer. It's
just a clue.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I was surprised, and pleasantly surprised. I was talking to
Amy King about this on Friday morning on wake up call,
and she said, you know what, that's so true. Dean,
She's like, I try. I have tried so many times
in the past to wear prints, just floral prints and
smaller patterns things like that. And she's like, you know,
every time I'm in a store and I think, oh,
(25:44):
let's try this blouse and it's got this kind of
vibe to it, I always stare in the mirror and
I'm like, nope, no, and I just keep returning to
solid colors and things like that. And she's like, and
then after you and I talked, I noticed I don't
have any floral print pillows in my house or floral
print comforters. I tend to move towards solid colors and
(26:09):
different shades of solid colors. And I'm like, wow, you
see that is somebody who's just like becoming aware of
something about herself and how it translates out into the
physical world. So look to your wardrobe, look to the
exterior of homes. If exterior style is one of the
things that you're trying to figure out when you drive
around your city or your town, what house catches your eye,
(26:31):
what inspires you take a picture? Right, don't make a
big deal out of so somebody calls the cops, All right,
but to take a picture. And here is the thing.
With all of these images that you're starting to collect,
I want you to get underneath the what of them? Okay,
take a picture of anything or everything that pleases you,
(26:54):
that thrills you, that stimulates you. Whether it's the outside
of a house, whether it's a garden, whether it's a
piece of furniture, whether it's a magazine picture that you
found or something online on a website. Hold on to it,
collect it, tuck it away. You don't have to, you know,
drill a well right then and there. Just tuck it
(27:15):
away and then go back to it later. But ask
this question, not just the what about this picture has
got you stirred up for some reason? But and don't
try to nail down oh ooh, I think it's because
it's colonial style. No no, no, no. Just take a
look at what is got you going, and then ask
(27:36):
the question, the harder question, why why do you like that?
Why do you like that kitchen image that you saw?
Tell me what is about it? This is an exercise
we do with our clients all the time. They'll come
back and they'll have done their homework. They'll hand me
twenty kitchens images, you know, because we're trying to figure
(27:57):
that out. They'll hand me twenty kitchen images and they'll
be frust because they'll be like, I think I failed
the assignment. I'm like, why you just gave me twenty pictures? Well,
because they're all really different, really different. I'm like, well,
all right, well let's see. And we start going through them,
and I start to ask the question, why why this
(28:17):
image here? And I take notes and we get about
halfway through and I'm like, these aren't all different, They're
all the same. Jane, what, yeah, do you realize you
have keep gravitating regardless of the look of the cabinets
or the countertops or the colors, you keep gravitating towards
this roomy area here and bright light coming through over
(28:41):
a breakfast table. And she's like, oh my gosh, I
didn't even realize that that pattern kept repeating itself. And ahha,
and so now yet another clue as to her style.
All right, I got a few more for you. We'll
do it right after.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
KFI AM six.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
One of our fundamental realities here on the show is
that design matters most when it comes to your home.
When it comes to intentionality in life, design matters most.
I want you to take design more seriously. If you
want to transform your house into an amazing home. It's
(29:25):
not just about a material, it's not just about a color,
it's not just about those new kitchen cabinets or whatever.
It is about the design. Design is nothing more than
creative intentionality made manifest in the world. Okay. Design is
the thing that will radically change the house, not the
budget or the remodel, not the amount of the quality
(29:49):
of the materials, or I should say, the priciness of
the materials. Once we've figured out your style and we
have matched a design to it, then we're ninety percent
of the way there. And honestly, you can now build
that project out of paper or platinum and it won't
(30:10):
alter its overall effect that much. And I mean that
in all seriousness. We are involved in a state level
projects and in very simple, very basic, very you know, cozy, humble, wonderful,
mainstream home, middle class projects. And the fact of the
(30:32):
matter is whether we're in a shed and I say
this in the show, it doesn't matter if it's a
condo or a cottage, or a castle. The fact of
the matter is that design matters most across the board,
and part of that design is rooted and anchored in
finding your style, discovering what your style is. And I
hope that I've given you some more tools today to
(30:55):
figure that out, and that you understand the importance of
and don't overemphasize and freak out about the over importance
of finding your style. It's just something that we want
to zero in on the best we can so that
we make a home reflect you as much as possible, because,
like I said earlier in the show, if you can't
(31:17):
be you fully you at home, where is that going
to happen? Where else is that going to happen? Right?
So that's what we want. Now. Don't forsake the idea
that once you start to zero in on this, you
may need help. You may need to get a designer involved,
because what we designers do is the good ones. At
(31:39):
least I would like to think, is we help you
translate those style thoughts into practical, functional, creative expressions. You know,
earlier in the show, I said, one of the big
questions that I get is that what you know, what
if my style scares me? I mean, what if it
frightens me that if I fully express myself it'll be
(32:03):
something like, yeah, you know, here's an example. I give
you a quick example. What if Dean I find out
or what if I already secretly know I love things
that are black? Black. I just love black. I just
everything that I come. I love the way that light
(32:24):
reflects off of a matte black surface. I love the
way things are black, the way that they draw your
attention in and and so what if that's one of
my style choices? I'm like, Okay, what if they're like, well,
I don't want to. I mean, what would happen if
I painted the entire inside of my house black and
(32:46):
everybody thinks I'm a vampire or I'm a goth and
I'm not. Uh, And I'm like, all right, all right,
pump the brakes here, pump the breaks here a little bit.
Don't be afraid of expressing your style. But maybe you
need a little assistance along the way. Well what assistance
could you give me? Like, well, do you happen to
(33:06):
know what the very very best, most potent background is
or objects that are black? What is that? Walls and
surfaces that are light and bright and white, because it
is contrast that actually draws your attention to that bold, black,
(33:29):
beautiful object. I want you to picture a grand piano
that is painted in multiple layers of lacquer black. Yes,
you know exactly what I'm talking about, that big black
brand piano. Now put that grand piano on a black
backdrop on a black stage in a black room, and
(33:52):
try to imagine its impact. Now take it out of
that room. Put it in a white room with a
white floor and white walls and bright light all around it. Aha,
you see what I'm saying. In that white space, your
eye is just drawn to it and its beauty pops
and so you see, you're in love with black. But
(34:15):
maybe the designer helps you understand that the best way
to display that love is actually not having to commit to,
you know, living in a cave of darkness, but actually bright, beautiful,
high contrasting styles around it so that it becomes the
(34:36):
focal point of every view. That's just one simple example.
There are a gabillion more. So that is why, my friend,
I want you to go on this journey. I want
you to look at stuff. I want you to collect
those things that you love the look of, and then
you ask the question why you get underneath it?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Why?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Why do I like this thing? Also, you know, it
takes some photos of things you hate. That also helps
like ooh I hate this and then look at that
and like why, oh, because I just oh it's cold.
Oh it's hard, Oh it's it's so it's so stark. Okay, great,
Now we get to know your personality from both sides,
(35:18):
and slowly but surely, piece by piece, taking the pressure off,
let's find out what your real style is. Ah, Okay,
all right, that's just a little primer today. I mean
we're you know, we're always just scratching the surface. But
I hope it gives you some some some alignment. Uh.
(35:39):
I'm gonna leave you with this quick thought today. And
it's so long that encouragement, that same encouragement. I just
want looking for some quotes, some thoughts about style and
about you, and just ways to encourage you. And I'm
simply going to leave you with a couple of thoughts.
How about this one. You were born and original, don't
(36:00):
die a copy. Okay. Your authenticity speaks louder than words.
And that's what I want for you, and that's what
I want you to experience at home. Okay, the privilege
of a lifetime is being who you are, right, and
you owe it to yourself to live your life as
(36:20):
authentically as you can. Because here's another one. Life's too
short to be anyone but yourself, right, And that's really it.
The authentic self is a soul made visible and realness
and authenticity gives life its magic. And that's it. That's it.
(36:44):
It's a very very simple thought. And I just want
to encourage you. Don't be afraid of who you are.
Embrace who you are. Look at who you are with
all of your imperfections and all of your uniqueness, find
your style, and live your life off thuthentically. In the end,
for me, it all comes down to a rule that
(37:05):
I wrote for myself years ago, and I won't give
you all the background on it. It simply comes down
to this. For me to live my style out loud
and for me to live authentically comes down to this
one principle that everything meaningful in my life has to
survive honesty. If I want something to be meaningful a
(37:26):
relationship with Tina, I have to be honest with her
about who I am, about what I want, about who
she is. And about what she I can't pretend that
something is there that isn't, or vice versa. Everything meaningful
in your life has to learn to survive honesty, and
(37:46):
that is encouragement enough to get out there and find
your style, and once you do, get busy building yourself
a beautiful life. Everybody, have a fantastic Sunday afternoon, and
we will see you right back here next weekend. This
has been Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper. Tune
into the live broadcast on KFI AM six forty every
(38:09):
Saturday morning from six to eight Pacific time and every
Sunday morning from nine to noon Pacific time, or anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app
Home with Dean Sharp News
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