December 7, 2025 • 27 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
The holidays are here and everything's changing with this season,
right see music changing goodness. Many radio stations started playing
Christmas music the moment Thanksgiving stopped, so music started to change.
Decorations changing coming out, people putting up lights, doing all
(00:27):
kinds of things on their home. The stores, whether it
be a grocery store, department store, decorations are changing, and
even people's attitudes tend to change. Have you noticed that
interactions with each other tend to be a little more pleasant,
little more seasonally happy? And this is what seems to
(00:47):
happen around this time of the year every single year.
And just like that famous Christmas song, and we all
know it, there's beauty in these small moments of comfort
and joy. But what is the true meaning of joy
(01:07):
and where does it come from? It seems that because
it tends to be a part of this season, that
the assumption is that comfort and joy or joy itself
lies in material things, because this time is associated with
(01:29):
gift giving and those types of things, that it seems
that the overall attitude is that joy is somehow attached
to that. Does it really come from material gifts. That
would be sad if that was the case. It must
(01:52):
come from the things of God.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
See.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
To the believer, joy is much more than a feeling.
You can't just wrap it up in a box, put
a bow on it, and hand it to someone. It's
not just wow, I'm in a really good mood today,
or I really feel happy today. Joy is much bigger
than that. Joy is much grander and much more pure
(02:22):
than something that can be stuffed in a box or
a bag or handed out to everyone. Joy has to
be bigger than that. It has to be It has
to be from God for it to be real. People
(02:43):
confuse joy with happiness, which is really not a good thing.
We've said this over and over on the show, because
really happiness is kind of this this flash feeling of
joy due to a happening, something that happened. So you
have this happiness. Somebody gives you a gift, somebody says
(03:07):
something nice, whatever it is, you have this happiness because
of that happening. But joy is altogether different. It's pure,
and it's in an intense concentration. It doesn't have the
ebb and flow of happiness. It certainly can't be given
(03:30):
to you because of a pill you're taking, or because
of a gift you've been given, or because of a
movie you just saw. If anything, these things that you
call happiness are just a little bit of that curtain
that keeps you from that joy, the joy that's there
all the time. It's just a little bit of that
(03:53):
curtain being pulled back and in just glimpsing that joy
that's always with you.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Believe it or not.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
They say that if you're looking and looking and looking
for something and can't find it, chances are you already
have it. And so so many people search for joy
thinking they're going to lift up a rock, or they're
going to open a door or come around a corner,
and there joy is seeking that going, well, where is
this joy? I keep hearing about? But it's with you always.
(04:25):
It comes from God, and it can only be realized,
It only be seen and appreciated and really understood when
you're in God's presence here on earth, not the same
way you'll be in God's presence in heaven, but in
a state of having a relationship with God, in a
(04:48):
state of a prayer and connection with God, that's when
you'll know joy, real joy, that concentrated joy, and not
just the glance or the glimpse or or the little
peace or the taste of joy that you get during happenings,
things that just make you happy. And during this time
(05:10):
of year, it seems that there's this shift, this shift
where even the non believer starts experience experiencing just a
little bit of what the Christian does all year round.
Because joy is not attached to a day, whether it's
(05:30):
the celebration of my birth or not. Joy is always there.
Joy is inside. It lasts and lasts and lasts. It's
not moved or changed by circumstance, and it's incredibly powerful.
(05:50):
It's what keeps you stable in times of great chaos
and turmoil. Having joy doesn't mean you understand everything going
on around you, or that your circumstances are always pleasant
or funfilled. That's a misrepresentation of joy. Joy comes from
(06:15):
understanding your life is in God's hand, and that's where
your comfort lies as well. The song comfort and joy.
There is a wonderful marriage there, but it's not because
of circumstances. It's not because well, things seem to be
going my way, and therefore I have joy and I
have comfort. The comfort is knowing that God has you.
(06:39):
You've heard it before, right, It's not what the future holds,
but it's who holds your future that matters. Well, if
God is holding your future, if God is holding you,
your heart, your faith, then you won't be swayed and
caught up in the things of every day. Doesn't mean
(07:00):
that you won't get down from time to time, but
being up or down due to circumstances is normal.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
But joy can.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Exist simultaneously even when you're not in the best of moods,
because it's not just that feeling. The joy is there
in the simplicity of life itself, enjoying mere existence. This
is the day that the Lord has made. Let us
rejoice in it, rejoice feeling that joy just in the
(07:36):
simplicity of this is a day that God made. And
once you find that, once you understand that it's not
something you're searching for, it's not something you're looking for,
you look to know God. And with knowing God comes
that joy comes, that that altogether concentrate of the things
(08:00):
of God, not some swaying, ever changing, always in this
state of flux kind of feeling thing. The world wants this,
wants you to think that that's what joy is. That
comfort is in knowing what's going to happen to you.
(08:23):
Comfort is knowing every step that's ahead of you. That's
not comfort, that's not joy. The real comfort and joy
that's talked about in scripture deals with being comforted knowing
that God is with you, that God has a plan
for your life, that you have a purpose, and that
(08:46):
God loves you. Therein lies the comfort. Therein lies the joy.
God is that source of joy. And during the holidays,
as you see people going throughout shopping and buying gifts
and receiving gifts and eating fun snacks and fun foods
(09:09):
and everything that comes with the holidays, the automatic place
you go is that that's what brings joy. And I
want to reset that for you. I want you to
see it differently, that, yes, you may be in a
circumstance where you might not be with family this year,
you may be in a circumstance where you've lost some
(09:31):
family and whatever it might be, that if you have
God with you throughout any circumstance, including sometimes the sadness
that comes with the holidays as well, that that is
where your joy lies. That is where your comfort lies.
(09:54):
The holidays are here, of course, And with Christmas, it's
every movie, it's a cliche. Every movie that you see
dealing with Christmas always surrounds about the magic spirit of Christmas,
the attitude of people, and as everything goes and changes
during this time of the year, this season, you start
(10:18):
thinking about things like joy. You hear songs that talk
about comfort and joy, but to the Christian that means
something altogether different. It's not just something because someone's giving
you a gift, just some wonderful feeling. Comfort and joy
is very real, It's very constant, and it's pure. When
(10:43):
you're a person of faith, it's inside. It lasts forever
and good and bad circumstances, and that keeps you stable
and a float during times of chaos. So don't get
caught up thinking that joy is this thing that just
comes once a year, or comes when gifts are present
(11:06):
or people tend to just be in a better mood.
That's not what it is, because things will fade away.
True joy must be sturdier, much more solid than material
things or ever changing situations that come and go. Joy
(11:27):
is not attached to you getting something, and it's not
attached to this world at all. God is the only
true source of joy and the comfort that comes with it.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Tewod Corinthians one three said, blessed be the God and
Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies
and of God and of all comfort. God brings the
fullness of joy, not part not little pieces, a little
(12:03):
bit here, a little bit there. Psalm sixteen eleven says,
in Thy presence is fullness of joy. The fullness of
joy being in the presence of the Maker.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
That is joy.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
That is where I want you to be, not cut
up in gifts or this or that, but being in
the relationship with God. Your joy filled by God's purpose.
That's joy, not just by what life brings you. It's
okay to enjoy things. It's okay to enjoy life. It's
okay to be happy the things that you have in life.
(12:39):
But the fullness of life and true joy can only
come from God. Rebecca, Welcome to the Jesus Christia.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Jesus Hi, Rebecca, H.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I know you love me, and I truly love myself,
But how can I feel joy, comfort and joy during
the holiday season when everything around around me reminds me
that I'm single, I'm alone and I feel like I
have no one to love me and maybe no one
will ever love me.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well, that doesn't really seem plausible. There's no evidence that
God makes people thirsty and then doesn't create water. Just
doesn't happen. People don't run around looking for something to
quench their thirst unless there is something to quench their thirst.
(13:34):
I will question a couple of your statements. If you
are with someone and they love you, you seem to
think that that then you'll be fulfilled in that you
won't go looking for another mate, right, true? Okay, so
the hope is that there will be a hole there
of some kind and that you'll be fulfilled. Yet you
(13:55):
tell me you love me, done, check, I love you too. Yeah,
And then you say that you love yourself. Yes, but
yet you feel the need to look for someone else
in a way that is looking for fulfillment. And I
will tell you this, when you truly love attracts love.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It's just the way it.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Works when and I don't mean in that like the
secret and the law of attraction everything. I mean that
it is it is bound together. It's materially bound together.
And when you are comfortable with who you are, and
you are in a nice, healthy, wonderful place is when
(14:35):
you will attract those that are in the same place.
You don't need anybody, you know, there's not a need
in that sense. There is a want and a desire
and you're built for it. But if you have those desires,
there's no reason for you to feel that you wouldn't
have it. Now, what is in your mind? In total honesty,
(14:55):
because if you're not honest, it's not going to do
us any good. But Rebecca, in total honesty, what do
you think is the reason that you haven't found that
right person? Because I'm assuming you've dated before, you've met people, Yes, okay,
so what is what is the.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
What's the reason?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I've been in relationships and I've been engaged a couple
of times in the past, you know, six years, and
I was married before, and you know, I really don't know.
I feel that the men that I am initially attracted to,
and they're very attracted to me, I feel that it's
(15:31):
just it's purely physical. There's like there's nothing there, there's
no substance there.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Well, everything's going to be physical at first, I mean,
that's how you see people. That's the very first thing
you're going to connect with with somebody is going to
be physical. I like the way you look, or you're
pleasing to me, or something that's it's superficial for a reason,
because that's what you're going to experience first.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
But you say it never goes past that.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It really doesn't seem to. It's just you know, maybe
you know I've been told, but I'm I'm too picky
about certain things, like for example, you know, maybe a
data man who smokes cigarette. I don't smoke. And then
in the beginning, okay, well I can handle it, and
then after the relationships goes on, it's like, I'm a
(16:16):
cigarette smoke is just I can't stand it anymore. Well,
casually smokes marijuana. Okay, well I'm fine with it. I'm
you know, but after you know, six months of you
know him, you know, sitting standing there, you know, at
a bond, you know, bigger than he is, you know,
I just I can't. It's like a deal breaker. I
(16:36):
can't do it anymore. And then I find myself again
just I'm back in the same place. I'm by myself,
and I'm I'm alone. And so maybe there's something in
me that is attracting dysfunctional men in some capacity because
maybe there's something that's functional in myself and I'm you know,
I don't know, maybe it's worth I mean I pour
when I go to when I work, I pour myself
(16:57):
into it. So maybe, you know, maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
It could be many things.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
First of all, you're choosing, choosing horribly. One of the
best things to do is to find people in places
that you share experiences. You don't want a carbon copy
of yourself. Trust me that that's not what you're looking for.
But if you don't like smoking, there's no reason to
spend the time with somebody who smokes at all. There's
(17:24):
no reason to invest in that at all. And the
same with the marijuana. There's just it's not worth it
if you if it doesn't work out like that, or
these are not things that you want in your life,
then don't even start going down that path. But each
time you do, you're wasting time in one sense by
not having the experience of meeting someone else because you're
(17:47):
now in this relationship with someone that you knew at
the very beginning does things that you're not that great with.
But everyone's going to have something And I'm wondering if
there's either a your your sense of what you're looking
for is too great.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And this happens.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
The longer that you're single, more people tend to create.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
An even more.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Kind of exclusive and perfect image in their head as
to what their partner is going to be, and it
ends up becoming more difficult to find someone.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So the real that could be happening too. I believe that.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Could be happy and work and everything like that.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
That plays a part with everybody's life. But you can
manage all that. First and foremost, do you have any
hobbies or anything that you like doing.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Well? I, you know, I like cycling, I love traveling
and into site seeing. You know that there's really guilty.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Pleasures that I'm wonderful.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Then that's where that's that's a good place for you
to meet people now because you're you're going to connect
with things that you like. However, you don't want to
be going on those You don't want to be doing
those things just to meet someone. You want to go
and do those things to better yourself and be you know,
become a continue to become a full person as you
(19:11):
explore and learn and be curious and all of those things.
But once when you're spending time more time with yourself,
and you really get to a place where you enjoy
your own company. Only then can you have a relationship
that's worth anything, because now it's always about adding something
to your life and you're not going to that way.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And I agree, I enjoy my own company. I mean
I can spend hours and hours, you know, just finding
things for myself to do, even taking you know, road
trips by myself, which people find really pretty scary, you know,
for a single woman to go out there and take
a road trip, which I've done before and it had
a wonderful time. You met wonderful people. What I what
(19:54):
I'm seeking in my life is the companion, you know,
a true friend. And it just I feel that the
guy that I date, as I explained before, they were stokers,
that they were addicted to alcohol or drugs or you know,
it's just they want sex and it's like there's no substance,
there's just nothing, you know, there's nothing for them to
(20:15):
stay with it. I don't know, I just I really
don't know how to explain. It's it's a specific I see.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Well, people don't. People don't. It's the best way to
say this I will say it this way. People don't
redecorate motels they go. They may be unpacked when they
stay at them, because there's something about that structure that says,
this is not your home.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
It's just where you stay for a little while.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
And you don't ever want to give out that energy
to anybody, and you want to make sure that everything
that you're doing points to a long term relationship, that
that's what you're looking for for one for Secondly, when
it comes to relationships, if if you're fulfilled, if you
(21:08):
are totally happy with who you are, then there's no
they don't have any any cachet. They're not coming saying oh, well,
she's obviously she'd needs somebody or she needs companionship or whatever,
and I'm bringing that. So then therefore I'm going to
take something from her. When I say I want you
(21:29):
to be comfortable with yourself, I really mean it. I
want you to get to a place where you are
so comfortable with yourself that you that if somebody was
hitting on you, you wouldn't even recognize it because you're
just so comfortable with where you are. And maybe that
sounds like an annoyance. Oh they're gonna interrupt my day
or where I'm at and your happiness and look towards
(21:51):
really fulfilling yourself and being in that mode. And I
think once you get to that place, once you get
to a place where you feel super comfortable with who
you are and you're enjoying yourself and you're exploring and
you're going out and you're traveling and you're doing whatever,
it'll come. So to break it down, it's have legitimate.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Expectation.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Manage your expectation as to what you want, what you're
looking for. Don't go down a path that begins with
something you're not looking for. You don't want to date
a smoker, and I would suggest not dating a smoker,
then don't start with that. Don't even bother having that.
If somebody see someone smoke, then move on. If there
(22:41):
are things that are that show themselves early on, there's
no reason to dig deeper for you if that's going
to be a deal breaker down online, because then it's
just going to be a deal breaker with someone that
you've sort of connected with. And chemistry is a wonderful
thing and should be.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
A part of it both physically.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
There should be some initial coming, but there should also
be some intellectual chemistry. And if guys constantly want to
take you to bed, it's because they're not seeing that
there's something else there. And that's partly on them, but
it's partly on you too. You have to show them
that there's something more to the picture and that there's
(23:19):
something more to the package of who you are, and
they'll want to explore talking with you and going to
other places and hearing what's on your mind and learning
about the way you think and what you think and
why you think it, and all those things come together,
But really it starts with you. You have to be
(23:40):
in a place. The assumption is that when you're single,
you're available, and that's not the truth. That's never the truth.
Single is a state of physicality, whether you've met somebody
or have somebody in your life. But being available is
really a state, a mental and emotional state. It's about
(24:02):
being healthy. It's about being ready and primed and comfortable
with who you are. And it's almost like when you're
comfortable being alone and not needing.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Anybody is when somebody will come along.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Relationships, Really, the entirety of the Bible is set upon
the foundation of relationships. Even the ten commandments are really
about roughly half deal with your relationship with God and
half deal with your relationship with Man, Adam and Eve.
From the beginning, really dealing with relationship not only between
each other, but also between the animals, the earth, the
(24:45):
natural resources.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And they're very important.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
But everything goes back to that that peak relationship on
this planet, and that is going to be interpersonal really
with each other. Of course, God is always above all
of that. God is your first and your foremost love.
But as you look for a partner, a good partner
(25:12):
in life, you have to be prepared mentally and emotionally
as to where you're going to be and above all,
really enjoying who you are and having your life right
with God. I know that it's a cliche to go
through a breakup or go through something rough in life
(25:35):
and then go running to the church, but I will
tell you that that's no different than going through a
car wash after you know, mudwomping in your truck. It's
just a matter of getting all of that off of
your person emotionally and physically, and taking the time to
(25:55):
reconnect with your God and prepare yourself for another relationship,
not just another another another another but really being in
that mindset of no, I want to be prepared for this.
The assumption is just because you're single or you don't
have somebody in your life that makes you prepared. That's
(26:15):
not being prepared for anything. The absence of something is
not the preparation for something else. Ever, that's just the beginning.
It's like saying, well, I don't have a car, therefore
I'm prepared to get one.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
No.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Have you saved up money for the car? No? So
you don't have the damn payment?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
No? Okay, do you have any money in the bank nop.
Do you have a home where you could park the car? No,
don't have a home, don't have money. Then, just because
you don't have a car doesn't mean you're prepared for one. Likewise,
prepare yourself for a relationship. Put away experiences in your
(26:58):
your emotional bank, things that you enjoy doing, have hobbies
and interests, and things that aren't going to make you
just a barnacle on someone else's life. You don't want
somebody like that in your life either. You don't want
somebody to come in and go eh and latch on.
You want somebody who has depth and interest and you
(27:22):
need to prepare yourself for that as well. So being
single doesn't mean you're available and you're ready. Prepare yourself,
and the way you prepare yourself is to really enjoy
your own company, the things around you. Explore life, Enjoy life,
have hobbies, love yourself, love your God, and love will come.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
KFI AM six forty on demand
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
The holidays are here and everything's changing with this season,
right see music changing goodness. Many radio stations started playing
Christmas music the moment Thanksgiving stopped, so music started to change.
Decorations changing coming out, people putting up lights, doing all
(00:27):
kinds of things on their home. The stores, whether it
be a grocery store, department store, decorations are changing, and
even people's attitudes tend to change. Have you noticed that
interactions with each other tend to be a little more pleasant,
little more seasonally happy? And this is what seems to
(00:47):
happen around this time of the year every single year.
And just like that famous Christmas song, and we all
know it, there's beauty in these small moments of comfort
and joy. But what is the true meaning of joy
(01:07):
and where does it come from? It seems that because
it tends to be a part of this season, that
the assumption is that comfort and joy or joy itself
lies in material things, because this time is associated with
(01:29):
gift giving and those types of things, that it seems
that the overall attitude is that joy is somehow attached
to that. Does it really come from material gifts. That
would be sad if that was the case. It must
(01:52):
come from the things of God.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
See.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
To the believer, joy is much more than a feeling.
You can't just wrap it up in a box, put
a bow on it, and hand it to someone. It's
not just wow, I'm in a really good mood today,
or I really feel happy today. Joy is much bigger
than that. Joy is much grander and much more pure
(02:22):
than something that can be stuffed in a box or
a bag or handed out to everyone. Joy has to
be bigger than that. It has to be It has
to be from God for it to be real. People
(02:43):
confuse joy with happiness, which is really not a good thing.
We've said this over and over on the show, because
really happiness is kind of this this flash feeling of
joy due to a happening, something that happened. So you
have this happiness. Somebody gives you a gift, somebody says
(03:07):
something nice, whatever it is, you have this happiness because
of that happening. But joy is altogether different. It's pure,
and it's in an intense concentration. It doesn't have the
ebb and flow of happiness. It certainly can't be given
(03:30):
to you because of a pill you're taking, or because
of a gift you've been given, or because of a
movie you just saw. If anything, these things that you
call happiness are just a little bit of that curtain
that keeps you from that joy, the joy that's there
all the time. It's just a little bit of that
(03:53):
curtain being pulled back and in just glimpsing that joy
that's always with you.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Believe it or not.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
They say that if you're looking and looking and looking
for something and can't find it, chances are you already
have it. And so so many people search for joy
thinking they're going to lift up a rock, or they're
going to open a door or come around a corner,
and there joy is seeking that going, well, where is
this joy? I keep hearing about? But it's with you always.
(04:25):
It comes from God, and it can only be realized,
It only be seen and appreciated and really understood when
you're in God's presence here on earth, not the same
way you'll be in God's presence in heaven, but in
a state of having a relationship with God, in a
(04:48):
state of a prayer and connection with God, that's when
you'll know joy, real joy, that concentrated joy, and not
just the glance or the glimpse or or the little
peace or the taste of joy that you get during happenings,
things that just make you happy. And during this time
(05:10):
of year, it seems that there's this shift, this shift
where even the non believer starts experience experiencing just a
little bit of what the Christian does all year round.
Because joy is not attached to a day, whether it's
(05:30):
the celebration of my birth or not. Joy is always there.
Joy is inside. It lasts and lasts and lasts. It's
not moved or changed by circumstance, and it's incredibly powerful.
(05:50):
It's what keeps you stable in times of great chaos
and turmoil. Having joy doesn't mean you understand everything going
on around you, or that your circumstances are always pleasant
or funfilled. That's a misrepresentation of joy. Joy comes from
(06:15):
understanding your life is in God's hand, and that's where
your comfort lies as well. The song comfort and joy.
There is a wonderful marriage there, but it's not because
of circumstances. It's not because well, things seem to be
going my way, and therefore I have joy and I
have comfort. The comfort is knowing that God has you.
(06:39):
You've heard it before, right, It's not what the future holds,
but it's who holds your future that matters. Well, if
God is holding your future, if God is holding you,
your heart, your faith, then you won't be swayed and
caught up in the things of every day. Doesn't mean
(07:00):
that you won't get down from time to time, but
being up or down due to circumstances is normal.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
But joy can.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Exist simultaneously even when you're not in the best of moods,
because it's not just that feeling. The joy is there
in the simplicity of life itself, enjoying mere existence. This
is the day that the Lord has made. Let us
rejoice in it, rejoice feeling that joy just in the
(07:36):
simplicity of this is a day that God made. And
once you find that, once you understand that it's not
something you're searching for, it's not something you're looking for,
you look to know God. And with knowing God comes
that joy comes, that that altogether concentrate of the things
(08:00):
of God, not some swaying, ever changing, always in this
state of flux kind of feeling thing. The world wants this,
wants you to think that that's what joy is. That
comfort is in knowing what's going to happen to you.
(08:23):
Comfort is knowing every step that's ahead of you. That's
not comfort, that's not joy. The real comfort and joy
that's talked about in scripture deals with being comforted knowing
that God is with you, that God has a plan
for your life, that you have a purpose, and that
(08:46):
God loves you. Therein lies the comfort. Therein lies the joy.
God is that source of joy. And during the holidays,
as you see people going throughout shopping and buying gifts
and receiving gifts and eating fun snacks and fun foods
(09:09):
and everything that comes with the holidays, the automatic place
you go is that that's what brings joy. And I
want to reset that for you. I want you to
see it differently, that, yes, you may be in a
circumstance where you might not be with family this year,
you may be in a circumstance where you've lost some
(09:31):
family and whatever it might be, that if you have
God with you throughout any circumstance, including sometimes the sadness
that comes with the holidays as well, that that is
where your joy lies. That is where your comfort lies.
(09:54):
The holidays are here, of course, And with Christmas, it's
every movie, it's a cliche. Every movie that you see
dealing with Christmas always surrounds about the magic spirit of Christmas,
the attitude of people, and as everything goes and changes
during this time of the year, this season, you start
(10:18):
thinking about things like joy. You hear songs that talk
about comfort and joy, but to the Christian that means
something altogether different. It's not just something because someone's giving
you a gift, just some wonderful feeling. Comfort and joy
is very real, It's very constant, and it's pure. When
(10:43):
you're a person of faith, it's inside. It lasts forever
and good and bad circumstances, and that keeps you stable
and a float during times of chaos. So don't get
caught up thinking that joy is this thing that just
comes once a year, or comes when gifts are present
(11:06):
or people tend to just be in a better mood.
That's not what it is, because things will fade away.
True joy must be sturdier, much more solid than material
things or ever changing situations that come and go. Joy
(11:27):
is not attached to you getting something, and it's not
attached to this world at all. God is the only
true source of joy and the comfort that comes with it.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Tewod Corinthians one three said, blessed be the God and
Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies
and of God and of all comfort. God brings the
fullness of joy, not part not little pieces, a little
(12:03):
bit here, a little bit there. Psalm sixteen eleven says,
in Thy presence is fullness of joy. The fullness of
joy being in the presence of the Maker.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
That is joy.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
That is where I want you to be, not cut
up in gifts or this or that, but being in
the relationship with God. Your joy filled by God's purpose.
That's joy, not just by what life brings you. It's
okay to enjoy things. It's okay to enjoy life. It's
okay to be happy the things that you have in life.
(12:39):
But the fullness of life and true joy can only
come from God. Rebecca, Welcome to the Jesus Christia.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Jesus Hi, Rebecca, H.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I know you love me, and I truly love myself,
But how can I feel joy, comfort and joy during
the holiday season when everything around around me reminds me
that I'm single, I'm alone and I feel like I
have no one to love me and maybe no one
will ever love me.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Well, that doesn't really seem plausible. There's no evidence that
God makes people thirsty and then doesn't create water. Just
doesn't happen. People don't run around looking for something to
quench their thirst unless there is something to quench their thirst.
(13:34):
I will question a couple of your statements. If you
are with someone and they love you, you seem to
think that that then you'll be fulfilled in that you
won't go looking for another mate, right, true? Okay, so
the hope is that there will be a hole there
of some kind and that you'll be fulfilled. Yet you
(13:55):
tell me you love me, done, check, I love you too. Yeah,
And then you say that you love yourself. Yes, but
yet you feel the need to look for someone else
in a way that is looking for fulfillment. And I
will tell you this, when you truly love attracts love.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It's just the way it.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Works when and I don't mean in that like the
secret and the law of attraction everything. I mean that
it is it is bound together. It's materially bound together.
And when you are comfortable with who you are, and
you are in a nice, healthy, wonderful place is when
(14:35):
you will attract those that are in the same place.
You don't need anybody, you know, there's not a need
in that sense. There is a want and a desire
and you're built for it. But if you have those desires,
there's no reason for you to feel that you wouldn't
have it. Now, what is in your mind? In total honesty,
(14:55):
because if you're not honest, it's not going to do
us any good. But Rebecca, in total honesty, what do
you think is the reason that you haven't found that
right person? Because I'm assuming you've dated before, you've met people, Yes, okay,
so what is what is the.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
What's the reason?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I've been in relationships and I've been engaged a couple
of times in the past, you know, six years, and
I was married before, and you know, I really don't know.
I feel that the men that I am initially attracted to,
and they're very attracted to me, I feel that it's
(15:31):
just it's purely physical. There's like there's nothing there, there's
no substance there.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Well, everything's going to be physical at first, I mean,
that's how you see people. That's the very first thing
you're going to connect with with somebody is going to
be physical. I like the way you look, or you're
pleasing to me, or something that's it's superficial for a reason,
because that's what you're going to experience first.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
But you say it never goes past that.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
It really doesn't seem to. It's just you know, maybe
you know I've been told, but I'm I'm too picky
about certain things, like for example, you know, maybe a
data man who smokes cigarette. I don't smoke. And then
in the beginning, okay, well I can handle it, and
then after the relationships goes on, it's like, I'm a
(16:16):
cigarette smoke is just I can't stand it anymore. Well,
casually smokes marijuana. Okay, well I'm fine with it. I'm
you know, but after you know, six months of you
know him, you know, sitting standing there, you know, at
a bond, you know, bigger than he is, you know,
I just I can't. It's like a deal breaker. I
(16:36):
can't do it anymore. And then I find myself again
just I'm back in the same place. I'm by myself,
and I'm I'm alone. And so maybe there's something in
me that is attracting dysfunctional men in some capacity because
maybe there's something that's functional in myself and I'm you know,
I don't know, maybe it's worth I mean I pour
when I go to when I work, I pour myself
(16:57):
into it. So maybe, you know, maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
It could be many things.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
First of all, you're choosing, choosing horribly. One of the
best things to do is to find people in places
that you share experiences. You don't want a carbon copy
of yourself. Trust me that that's not what you're looking for.
But if you don't like smoking, there's no reason to
spend the time with somebody who smokes at all. There's
(17:24):
no reason to invest in that at all. And the
same with the marijuana. There's just it's not worth it
if you if it doesn't work out like that, or
these are not things that you want in your life,
then don't even start going down that path. But each
time you do, you're wasting time in one sense by
not having the experience of meeting someone else because you're
(17:47):
now in this relationship with someone that you knew at
the very beginning does things that you're not that great with.
But everyone's going to have something And I'm wondering if
there's either a your your sense of what you're looking
for is too great.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And this happens.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
The longer that you're single, more people tend to create.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
An even more.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Kind of exclusive and perfect image in their head as
to what their partner is going to be, and it
ends up becoming more difficult to find someone.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So the real that could be happening too. I believe that.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Could be happy and work and everything like that.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
That plays a part with everybody's life. But you can
manage all that. First and foremost, do you have any
hobbies or anything that you like doing.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Well? I, you know, I like cycling, I love traveling
and into site seeing. You know that there's really guilty.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Pleasures that I'm wonderful.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Then that's where that's that's a good place for you
to meet people now because you're you're going to connect
with things that you like. However, you don't want to
be going on those You don't want to be doing
those things just to meet someone. You want to go
and do those things to better yourself and be you know,
become a continue to become a full person as you
(19:11):
explore and learn and be curious and all of those things.
But once when you're spending time more time with yourself,
and you really get to a place where you enjoy
your own company. Only then can you have a relationship
that's worth anything, because now it's always about adding something
to your life and you're not going to that way.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And I agree, I enjoy my own company. I mean
I can spend hours and hours, you know, just finding
things for myself to do, even taking you know, road
trips by myself, which people find really pretty scary, you know,
for a single woman to go out there and take
a road trip, which I've done before and it had
a wonderful time. You met wonderful people. What I what
(19:54):
I'm seeking in my life is the companion, you know,
a true friend. And it just I feel that the
guy that I date, as I explained before, they were stokers,
that they were addicted to alcohol or drugs or you know,
it's just they want sex and it's like there's no substance,
there's just nothing, you know, there's nothing for them to
(20:15):
stay with it. I don't know, I just I really
don't know how to explain. It's it's a specific I see.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Well, people don't. People don't. It's the best way to
say this I will say it this way. People don't
redecorate motels they go. They may be unpacked when they
stay at them, because there's something about that structure that says,
this is not your home.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
It's just where you stay for a little while.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
And you don't ever want to give out that energy
to anybody, and you want to make sure that everything
that you're doing points to a long term relationship, that
that's what you're looking for for one for Secondly, when
it comes to relationships, if if you're fulfilled, if you
(21:08):
are totally happy with who you are, then there's no
they don't have any any cachet. They're not coming saying oh, well,
she's obviously she'd needs somebody or she needs companionship or whatever,
and I'm bringing that. So then therefore I'm going to
take something from her. When I say I want you
(21:29):
to be comfortable with yourself, I really mean it. I
want you to get to a place where you are
so comfortable with yourself that you that if somebody was
hitting on you, you wouldn't even recognize it because you're
just so comfortable with where you are. And maybe that
sounds like an annoyance. Oh they're gonna interrupt my day
or where I'm at and your happiness and look towards
(21:51):
really fulfilling yourself and being in that mode. And I
think once you get to that place, once you get
to a place where you feel super comfortable with who
you are and you're enjoying yourself and you're exploring and
you're going out and you're traveling and you're doing whatever,
it'll come. So to break it down, it's have legitimate.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Expectation.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Manage your expectation as to what you want, what you're
looking for. Don't go down a path that begins with
something you're not looking for. You don't want to date
a smoker, and I would suggest not dating a smoker,
then don't start with that. Don't even bother having that.
If somebody see someone smoke, then move on. If there
(22:41):
are things that are that show themselves early on, there's
no reason to dig deeper for you if that's going
to be a deal breaker down online, because then it's
just going to be a deal breaker with someone that
you've sort of connected with. And chemistry is a wonderful
thing and should be.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
A part of it both physically.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
There should be some initial coming, but there should also
be some intellectual chemistry. And if guys constantly want to
take you to bed, it's because they're not seeing that
there's something else there. And that's partly on them, but
it's partly on you too. You have to show them
that there's something more to the picture and that there's
(23:19):
something more to the package of who you are, and
they'll want to explore talking with you and going to
other places and hearing what's on your mind and learning
about the way you think and what you think and
why you think it, and all those things come together,
But really it starts with you. You have to be
(23:40):
in a place. The assumption is that when you're single,
you're available, and that's not the truth. That's never the truth.
Single is a state of physicality, whether you've met somebody
or have somebody in your life. But being available is
really a state, a mental and emotional state. It's about
(24:02):
being healthy. It's about being ready and primed and comfortable
with who you are. And it's almost like when you're
comfortable being alone and not needing.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Anybody is when somebody will come along.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Relationships, Really, the entirety of the Bible is set upon
the foundation of relationships. Even the ten commandments are really
about roughly half deal with your relationship with God and
half deal with your relationship with Man, Adam and Eve.
From the beginning, really dealing with relationship not only between
each other, but also between the animals, the earth, the
(24:45):
natural resources.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And they're very important.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
But everything goes back to that that peak relationship on
this planet, and that is going to be interpersonal really
with each other. Of course, God is always above all
of that. God is your first and your foremost love.
But as you look for a partner, a good partner
(25:12):
in life, you have to be prepared mentally and emotionally
as to where you're going to be and above all,
really enjoying who you are and having your life right
with God. I know that it's a cliche to go
through a breakup or go through something rough in life
(25:35):
and then go running to the church, but I will
tell you that that's no different than going through a
car wash after you know, mudwomping in your truck. It's
just a matter of getting all of that off of
your person emotionally and physically, and taking the time to
(25:55):
reconnect with your God and prepare yourself for another relationship,
not just another another another another but really being in
that mindset of no, I want to be prepared for this.
The assumption is just because you're single or you don't
have somebody in your life that makes you prepared. That's
(26:15):
not being prepared for anything. The absence of something is
not the preparation for something else. Ever, that's just the beginning.
It's like saying, well, I don't have a car, therefore
I'm prepared to get one.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
No.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Have you saved up money for the car? No? So
you don't have the damn payment?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
No? Okay, do you have any money in the bank nop.
Do you have a home where you could park the car? No,
don't have a home, don't have money. Then, just because
you don't have a car doesn't mean you're prepared for one. Likewise,
prepare yourself for a relationship. Put away experiences in your
(26:58):
your emotional bank, things that you enjoy doing, have hobbies
and interests, and things that aren't going to make you
just a barnacle on someone else's life. You don't want
somebody like that in your life either. You don't want
somebody to come in and go eh and latch on.
You want somebody who has depth and interest and you
(27:22):
need to prepare yourself for that as well. So being
single doesn't mean you're available and you're ready. Prepare yourself,
and the way you prepare yourself is to really enjoy
your own company, the things around you. Explore life, Enjoy life,
have hobbies, love yourself, love your God, and love will come.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
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