December 15, 2025 • 11 mins
Guest Jessica Steinman of No Matter What Recovery L.A. joins the conversation to discuss the growing mental health challenges facing children and teens.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tough. Monday, December fifteenth.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It is tough.
Speaker 3 (00:02):
We just got a message from one of our guest
family members. We just went through this with our son
unfortunately passed away due to a fentanyl overdose addiction kicked
in when he was fifteen. Could not keep them in
our circle to protect our remaining family. And she writes
something very accurate. She says, it's absolutely horrifying, emotionally debilitating
(00:28):
as a parent. There isn't a word for this level
of devastation, Amen, because all the words seem so hollow
when you think about what happened to the Reiner family.
Of course, the news that Rob and Michelle Reiner stabbed
death killed by their son Nick, who had been in
public about his mental illness and substance abuse issues through
(00:48):
the years.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That began he said when he was fifteen.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
So a long history is substance abuse, and that can
be incredibly bad, not just obviously for behavioral reasons, but
just brain chemistry itself. Joining us to talk about this
is Jessica Steinmann of No Matter What Recovery in Los Angeles,
here in town to talk about some of these issues.
(01:13):
And Jessica, first of all, thanks for taking time.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
For us today.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Let's discuss I mean, we know the specifics of this
thing are going to be kind of off limits because
you don't know Nick and Rob, etc. But the issues
surrounding adult children who are struggling with mental illness and
sometimes addiction. On top of that, what can family do?
What resources are available to somebody.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Dealing with this, Well, you know, it's a complicated thing
to look at, and obviously addiction gets a big spotlight
when things like this can happen, and the positives that
we get to at least talk about addiction and mental health.
You know, with families, family addiction is a family disease
(02:06):
and what that means. That's a phrase that we use
a lot in the recovery world. It affects everyone who's
involved with someone who struggles with mental health and addiction.
So families being contributing to people's therapy, getting involved with
people's therapy or work if they're in a recovery program
(02:28):
and a rehab that's really important. But also families need
to learn how to get help for themselves by speaking
their own individual therapy and setting boundaries with someone with
mental health and addiction. And that's going to be tough
on a family dynamic as well.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, that is one of the things. Take care of yourself.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I know that's a big thing for alan On is
to you know definitely, you know, you can only control
so much, which is really nothing what's going on with
other people.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
But that just I feel like that's really tough. It's
really hard.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
It's one thing if it's a spouse or something that
has an addiction issue, But when it's your child, how
does that complicate matters in terms of helping yourself when
you're obsessed and you know, biologically obsessed with protecting this person.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
That's a great question. You know, we no matter what recovery,
we have a family group that we have weekly for
families and loved ones. And that's a question that comes
up all the time. How do you tell me not
to care or how do you tell me not to
be involved? This is my child, you know, I'm from
the moment they were born, I'm going to worry about them.
I'm going to be scared for them. And and the
(03:42):
thing is is that it's about knowing what you're able
to control and fix or help with and what you can't.
And unfortunately, with addiction, when someone has an addiction taking
over their lives, taking over their brains, they won't listen.
They're not going to change just because a parent or
(04:02):
a loved one is saying, please stop or go to
this rehab. And so there are limitations that a parent
can put in place. So do I tell parents to
cut off people completely. No, not necessarily, because we want
them to be able to get help. So, for instance,
if someone's under the age of twenty six, let them
(04:24):
stay on your insurance plan and try and get help
with rehab or treatment or therapy, possibly contributing to a
cell phone plan, so at least they have a cell
phone to try and get help. But financially, they're going
to be some boundaries, right, because we want to make
sure that we're not financially contributing for someone to be
(04:44):
able to purchase the drugs or purchase things that are
going to be unhealthy for them. So it's a back
and forth of how you can protect them but protect
them with limitations. And that's why support groups and therapy
and guidance from specialists are going to be really helpful
with learning what boundaries those are.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
But outside of that, there's not really a lot that
can be done right. I mean legally, you're not going
to be able to force anybody into treatment, force anybody
into rehab, force anybody into therapy.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
And I think that's part of a parent's struggle and
the problem is that you want to be able to
say no, you have to go do this and it's
what's best for you. Go now. And someone over the
age of eighteen can leave when they want, doesn't have
to listen, can stop contact. So it's aligning a dance.
It's a dance of how do I keep them in
(05:36):
touch with me, make sure they're okay, but also not
enable them And so it's showing love and support without
having to have some kind of authority over them, and
again letting people try and help the best they can
with rehab and specialists we know at treatment centers like
no matter what, how to help them where we're going
(05:59):
to be able to to guide them, staying in touch
with them if they were to relapse, having their location
on your phone, do it at least make sure they're safe.
A parent maybe shouldn't do that, but a treatment center can,
and being able to have the other people assist.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
It seems like I think you said dance Yeah, a
constant balancing act from day to day at times in
terms of well, when you're dealing with somebody in the
throes of addiction or mental health, you kind of never
know what you're going to get, and every day could
be different in terms of what your kid needs in
(06:40):
that specific space or that situation, or that day could
be very different what they need in a week from
now or a month from now. Is it just constant
recalibration of the situation involving, like you said, the entire family.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Yeah, And I think what's really important. Recalibrate is a
great way to look at it. But also, you know,
being open and flexible with what's going to come at you,
but not wavering. So the addict is going to especially
when they're in the throws of their addiction and possibly
(07:15):
not in any sense of recovery or off their medications
and things like that. You want to stand firm in
what kind of boundaries and needs you may have as
a family or you have as a parent, because anything
can come at you and shift. But as long as
you can stay consistent, that's going to and actually throttle
(07:37):
the addict. They're actually not used to someone staying focused
and consistent and grounded in a decision like I'm only
willing to do X, Y and Z for you. So
because again, when an addict is in the throes of addiction,
they're going to manipulate, strategize, do whatever they can to
try and get what they need. And what they need
(07:59):
might be a drug. What they need might be money
to go get that drug or to go have that addiction.
So when a parent or a loved one is talked
into or manipulated to give in a little bit, then
the addict's going to think that they can maneuver and
get whatever they want when they want. So it's really
(08:19):
about staying grounded and staying consistent, and staying as a
united front as a whole family. So again there's also
no splitting between family members, which can happen.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
All of it sounds awful, you probably, I mean, in
your line of work, you have to deal with some
of the worst circumstances that people find themselves in.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Absolutely, I've unfortunately in my fields working in treatment centers
for many years, especially with the sentinel epidemic. I've I've
called family members myself, I've met the corners myself because
i have a firm belief i'd rob or a family
member here from a loving person like a therapist or
(09:04):
a clinical director who knew their child and who loved
their child than a corner or a police officer. So yes,
I've had to have those conversations with with loved ones,
and it doesn't It never gets easier. And it's hearing
about just the continuation of addiction, especially with drugs and
(09:25):
alcohol taking over just everywhere and in the news stories
in every city. It's it's devastating and how it can
affect families of devastating.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Sorry, Jessica, I just got in your experience, are there.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I'm assuming that you've talked with parents who know there
is a chance their child could be violent or could
have some sort of break and uh, and I bet
it doesn't even change the way that they are handling
the situation that the you know, the love for the
kid overrides shielding themselves from any kind of violent episode.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Yeah, I think that you. I think a lot of parents,
especially but all loved ones don't. They can't truly imagine
that that could happen to their child getting violent with
them or getting violent with someone. You want to you
want to think that that can't happen, but especially with
mental health issues, especially drug induced mental health issues, anything
(10:25):
is possible, and it's hard to know how someone will
act and react, and so parents and all loved ones
need to be cautious if they know, especially if you
know a loved one is maybe not on their medications
or have had relapses, you want to be careful because
we don't know how long they've been using the drug
(10:46):
or how long they've been without the medications, and absolutely
can turn violent or absolutely could turn into a psychotic
break of sorts, and that's hard to navigate, and so
you want to stay guarded and protected as best as possible.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Well, Jessica has some great insights into a tough story.
Thanks for your time today.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
You've got Jessica
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Steinman there again, licensed marriage and family therapists from No
Matter What Recovery here in La
Tough. Monday, December fifteenth.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It is tough.
Speaker 3 (00:02):
We just got a message from one of our guest
family members. We just went through this with our son
unfortunately passed away due to a fentanyl overdose addiction kicked
in when he was fifteen. Could not keep them in
our circle to protect our remaining family. And she writes
something very accurate. She says, it's absolutely horrifying, emotionally debilitating
(00:28):
as a parent. There isn't a word for this level
of devastation, Amen, because all the words seem so hollow
when you think about what happened to the Reiner family.
Of course, the news that Rob and Michelle Reiner stabbed
death killed by their son Nick, who had been in
public about his mental illness and substance abuse issues through
(00:48):
the years.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That began he said when he was fifteen.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
So a long history is substance abuse, and that can
be incredibly bad, not just obviously for behavioral reasons, but
just brain chemistry itself. Joining us to talk about this
is Jessica Steinmann of No Matter What Recovery in Los Angeles,
here in town to talk about some of these issues.
(01:13):
And Jessica, first of all, thanks for taking time.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
For us today.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Let's discuss I mean, we know the specifics of this
thing are going to be kind of off limits because
you don't know Nick and Rob, etc. But the issues
surrounding adult children who are struggling with mental illness and
sometimes addiction. On top of that, what can family do?
What resources are available to somebody.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Dealing with this, Well, you know, it's a complicated thing
to look at, and obviously addiction gets a big spotlight
when things like this can happen, and the positives that
we get to at least talk about addiction and mental health.
You know, with families, family addiction is a family disease
(02:06):
and what that means. That's a phrase that we use
a lot in the recovery world. It affects everyone who's
involved with someone who struggles with mental health and addiction.
So families being contributing to people's therapy, getting involved with
people's therapy or work if they're in a recovery program
(02:28):
and a rehab that's really important. But also families need
to learn how to get help for themselves by speaking
their own individual therapy and setting boundaries with someone with
mental health and addiction. And that's going to be tough
on a family dynamic as well.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, that is one of the things. Take care of yourself.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I know that's a big thing for alan On is
to you know definitely, you know, you can only control
so much, which is really nothing what's going on with
other people.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
But that just I feel like that's really tough. It's
really hard.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
It's one thing if it's a spouse or something that
has an addiction issue, But when it's your child, how
does that complicate matters in terms of helping yourself when
you're obsessed and you know, biologically obsessed with protecting this person.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
That's a great question. You know, we no matter what recovery,
we have a family group that we have weekly for
families and loved ones. And that's a question that comes
up all the time. How do you tell me not
to care or how do you tell me not to
be involved? This is my child, you know, I'm from
the moment they were born, I'm going to worry about them.
I'm going to be scared for them. And and the
(03:42):
thing is is that it's about knowing what you're able
to control and fix or help with and what you can't.
And unfortunately, with addiction, when someone has an addiction taking
over their lives, taking over their brains, they won't listen.
They're not going to change just because a parent or
(04:02):
a loved one is saying, please stop or go to
this rehab. And so there are limitations that a parent
can put in place. So do I tell parents to
cut off people completely. No, not necessarily, because we want
them to be able to get help. So, for instance,
if someone's under the age of twenty six, let them
(04:24):
stay on your insurance plan and try and get help
with rehab or treatment or therapy, possibly contributing to a
cell phone plan, so at least they have a cell
phone to try and get help. But financially, they're going
to be some boundaries, right, because we want to make
sure that we're not financially contributing for someone to be
(04:44):
able to purchase the drugs or purchase things that are
going to be unhealthy for them. So it's a back
and forth of how you can protect them but protect
them with limitations. And that's why support groups and therapy
and guidance from specialists are going to be really helpful
with learning what boundaries those are.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
But outside of that, there's not really a lot that
can be done right. I mean legally, you're not going
to be able to force anybody into treatment, force anybody
into rehab, force anybody into therapy.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
And I think that's part of a parent's struggle and
the problem is that you want to be able to
say no, you have to go do this and it's
what's best for you. Go now. And someone over the
age of eighteen can leave when they want, doesn't have
to listen, can stop contact. So it's aligning a dance.
It's a dance of how do I keep them in
(05:36):
touch with me, make sure they're okay, but also not
enable them And so it's showing love and support without
having to have some kind of authority over them, and
again letting people try and help the best they can
with rehab and specialists we know at treatment centers like
no matter what, how to help them where we're going
(05:59):
to be able to to guide them, staying in touch
with them if they were to relapse, having their location
on your phone, do it at least make sure they're safe.
A parent maybe shouldn't do that, but a treatment center can,
and being able to have the other people assist.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
It seems like I think you said dance Yeah, a
constant balancing act from day to day at times in
terms of well, when you're dealing with somebody in the
throes of addiction or mental health, you kind of never
know what you're going to get, and every day could
be different in terms of what your kid needs in
(06:40):
that specific space or that situation, or that day could
be very different what they need in a week from
now or a month from now. Is it just constant
recalibration of the situation involving, like you said, the entire family.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Yeah, And I think what's really important. Recalibrate is a
great way to look at it. But also, you know,
being open and flexible with what's going to come at you,
but not wavering. So the addict is going to especially
when they're in the throws of their addiction and possibly
(07:15):
not in any sense of recovery or off their medications
and things like that. You want to stand firm in
what kind of boundaries and needs you may have as
a family or you have as a parent, because anything
can come at you and shift. But as long as
you can stay consistent, that's going to and actually throttle
(07:37):
the addict. They're actually not used to someone staying focused
and consistent and grounded in a decision like I'm only
willing to do X, Y and Z for you. So
because again, when an addict is in the throes of addiction,
they're going to manipulate, strategize, do whatever they can to
try and get what they need. And what they need
(07:59):
might be a drug. What they need might be money
to go get that drug or to go have that addiction.
So when a parent or a loved one is talked
into or manipulated to give in a little bit, then
the addict's going to think that they can maneuver and
get whatever they want when they want. So it's really
(08:19):
about staying grounded and staying consistent, and staying as a
united front as a whole family. So again there's also
no splitting between family members, which can happen.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
All of it sounds awful, you probably, I mean, in
your line of work, you have to deal with some
of the worst circumstances that people find themselves in.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Absolutely, I've unfortunately in my fields working in treatment centers
for many years, especially with the sentinel epidemic. I've I've
called family members myself, I've met the corners myself because
i have a firm belief i'd rob or a family
member here from a loving person like a therapist or
(09:04):
a clinical director who knew their child and who loved
their child than a corner or a police officer. So yes,
I've had to have those conversations with with loved ones,
and it doesn't It never gets easier. And it's hearing
about just the continuation of addiction, especially with drugs and
(09:25):
alcohol taking over just everywhere and in the news stories
in every city. It's it's devastating and how it can
affect families of devastating.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Sorry, Jessica, I just got in your experience, are there.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I'm assuming that you've talked with parents who know there
is a chance their child could be violent or could
have some sort of break and uh, and I bet
it doesn't even change the way that they are handling
the situation that the you know, the love for the
kid overrides shielding themselves from any kind of violent episode.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Yeah, I think that you. I think a lot of parents,
especially but all loved ones don't. They can't truly imagine
that that could happen to their child getting violent with
them or getting violent with someone. You want to you
want to think that that can't happen, but especially with
mental health issues, especially drug induced mental health issues, anything
(10:25):
is possible, and it's hard to know how someone will
act and react, and so parents and all loved ones
need to be cautious if they know, especially if you
know a loved one is maybe not on their medications
or have had relapses, you want to be careful because
we don't know how long they've been using the drug
(10:46):
or how long they've been without the medications, and absolutely
can turn violent or absolutely could turn into a psychotic
break of sorts, and that's hard to navigate, and so
you want to stay guarded and protected as best as possible.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Well, Jessica has some great insights into a tough story.
Thanks for your time today.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
You've got Jessica
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Steinman there again, licensed marriage and family therapists from No
Matter What Recovery here in La
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