Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nine news nuggets. These are the stories that fell through.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Why do you take your shoes off of.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
The proverbial news couch? I think I have your dog
on my socks today? Is your dog?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Now what kind of dog is this? Is that a burger?
Speaker 4 (00:17):
A dog?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
That's a dog or a lion?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I wonder what kind of dog it is.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
I do have your dog on a set of sheets,
Christmas sheets that I have.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
There's a little Scottish terrier on there.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Sure it's a Scottish terrier, some fake Schnauzer or something
like that.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Okay, here's honorable mention.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Honorable mention serving what you.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Are great honorable modes.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
of Honorable Mention.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
This is disgusting.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
So if you're eating right now, maybe just turn it down.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
About thirty five seconds, sixty six million years ago, somebody barfed.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
It was a shark chomp, chomp, chomp.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Very old shark vomit they have found in Denmark in
the Cliffs of Stevens.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Is this just Denmark trying to keep us away from Greenland?
Talking about all the barf on the land.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
They said that the prehistoric patch of puke sat there
long enough to turn into a fossil, languishing an obscurity
until an amateur sleuth made the discovery last November. Why
in the world would you look at that and think
to yourself, I think that's vomit sixty six million years ago.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, that's silly.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Number nine. That guy wants to see your feet.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm still thinking about it. Yes, and I speak nine
languages night. Basically everybody at table nine.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It's just the fact that he thinks that they're gross
and like that. Yeah, like no, that's like there will
be no shoe show. That's like when you smell something
and it smells awful and then you turn to your friend,
You're like, smell this and you're like no, what, friend
goes Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I've had friends that wouldn't. Oh.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
A police union, says a man who posted a video
police doing donuts and the snow was snitching and we
all know what happens to snitches. You get stitches, Snitches
get rewards. Oh, Eric Garcetti told us, snitches get rewards.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Eric Garcetti also referred to himself as the big daddy downtown.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Where is Eric Garcetti?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
These days you.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Got kicked out of India, didn't he listen? I like
Eric Garcetti as a person. I think in a different
world we would be friends. But I just disagree with
a lot of things, ninety percent of things that he
has said out loud in front of microphones.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Houston police officers caught on video doing donuts during a
recent snowstorm. They're facing disciplinary action for their for their transgressions,
I guess might be a word you would use. The
Houston Police Officers Union went on to call him a snitch.
He Hammond Brown recorded and posted the video and said,
now that the union is out to get him, Here's
(03:14):
number eight. A child is bold every eight second listening
to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
There are certain legal transgressions that I'm willing to look
the other way for, and this is one of them,
maybe top five. Because if you've ever had a cinnabon,
you know, if you just one cinnabon has grazed your lips,
you know the pull of the cinnabon. You don't need
(03:51):
to smell it, although when you do smell it, it's.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Nearly impossible to resist. We can all.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Smell it, right, now it's just other cinnamon rolls. They
don't do the same thing as a Cinnabon does. It's
the beautiful box, it's the pop of the box. It's
the smell, it's the waft, it's the the shopping mall
tables of sadness that you sit in often alone, to
eat your cinnabon.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Bond Police and Dunwoody, George, I say, said that someone
broke into the mall, the perimeter mall overnight.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Only thing they got.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Cinnabon was a cinnabon. Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
If you are having a craving at like eleven for
a Cinnabon and not having access to it, I would
break into a mall.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
My daughter and I made cinnamon rolls over Christmas.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Delicious, but not the same as the.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Same, not the same. But I'll tell you what, if
you challenged me to get type two diabetes, I would
take the cinnabon train.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Did you guys make a whole, like a baking tray
of them?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Yeah? How much butter was involved? Uh?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
The lot? I mean, how do you judge on such
a I find adventures. All I need to hear is
a lot here's the seven the seventh son of the
seventh son. We're on with seven days with a government, seven.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Seven eight seven years of college down to drake seven years.
You better not have any freaking cinnamon rolls at Super
Bowl or I'm leaving oh.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
With this with the cinmon of us. A guy in
Orange Mound, Tennessee, is in jail. His name is Rodriquez Wilbourne,
charged with aggravated burglary, being held on five thousand dollars bond.
A burglary call came into a homeback on the twenty second.
Officers said a man later identified as Rodriquez Wilbourne had
broken into the home and stolen the toilet. There's a
(05:45):
new toilet still in the box. Of course, he dragged
the toilet back towards the house, even jumped a fence
while he was fleeing away from police.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So also something I'm okay with stealing. So put that
on my list.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Cinnamon okay and toilets okay, because when you gotta go,
you got to go, you need a toilet.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
You need a toilet.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Number six.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I got six.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
That's what I learned. Six six. There's six more weeks
of later. Picture of me a rabbi and six drunk
and lawn show. I would just dig you in a
nursing home closer to us. I don't have to guys,
take that drink another six pack. I'm getting to the
point where I don't want anybody to have drones.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I totally agree, and I can't believe that there hasn't
been more regulations or more of these story servicing. This
is Sweden's first ever charge of drunk driving for piloting
a drone. Happened last year during a classic car event.
Police were flying their own drone over the grounds when
(06:40):
they noticed a private drone in the same area, a
problem because the airspace was restricted for the event.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
This guy, okay, the blood alcohol content limit in Sweden
is point two point four.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
You're dead.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Wait a minute, that can't be the right point two.
There's there were we're mixing up our measurements here, maybe,
I think.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
But if he had a point six ' nine boy,
they said he did.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
But they said miller leaders per MILLI okay, well, don't
get the metric system involved here.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
The man was drunk.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
We all know that there's number five five we beg.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Five little monkeys. This is the year five point five.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Five, give me a favorite loose five pounds immediately.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Did I ever send me the picture of that little
boutique that I found when I was somewhere.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It was called five Little Monkeys?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
No, that's fun.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Do you know who fu Zai is? No? Fuzai is
China's first Corgie police dog. Fuzi joined the force a
little more than a year and a half ago in
Wi Fang Province.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
He is so adorable.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
He is a reserve explosives detection operative as of a
year ago. It became a viral sensation because he's, like
you said, a door. He's adorb whose. The problem is
he has lost his performance bonus because he sleeps on
the job and he peas in the sink. So isn't
(08:15):
that what dogs do? I mean, I don't know about
peeing in the sink, but he's already received.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
You know we should do is put your dog up
on the counter in the bathroom and see if he's
in the sink.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't think that's a great idea. He can't get
down from there.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I know.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
That's why we stand there and we just see what happens,
and then we put him back on the floor.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
You wait for a couple hours until he's got to
go and see what happens.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
I just want to see if it's like, you know,
you don't have pets number four or minute's.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Probably on his fours tranquilizer by now.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Comment number four.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Maybe dogs think like, oh, there's a sink, I got.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
A pee in it. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
We've talked about Toco before. Toko is a guy on
YouTube who has been living out his figer quotes dreams
of being a dog with the help of this ridiculously
expensive costume.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
I thought we would have lost him by now because
of the myriad issues that are clearly going on upstairs.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
He has launched a Toko Toko zoo oh this week.
It's open to the public a few times each month
in the morning and afternoon session.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
So it features humans dressed up as animals. What would
you dress up as?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I listen. I like his costume as an Alaskan malam.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I know, but that's already been That box has been checked.
So what would you do?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Well, he's got a collie here. You could look like Lassie.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
Pick like a tiger or something, an orangutang. You can
throw your feces of people.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Uh, how would I dress as an orangutang with an
orangutang suit? I know, but they're very similar to my
body structure. Right now? Did you just look at my
body structure? How dare you you would.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Like you after that?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I think you have a greater teche bonnet structure. I
don't think I feel like a woman who sent videos
of herself farting in a series of harassing messages to
her boyfriend's ex girlfriend has been given a community order
to stay away. Rhann and Evans pleaded guilty to pursuing
a course of conduct amounting to their harassment.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
A lot of people have dodged a bullet in this story.
First of all, the boyfriend, Oh wait, he's still with
this broad.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
No no, no, no, yeah, well yes.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Well he's got there together. Red flag.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
He she's sending the messages to an ex girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
He's with you now, sweetheart. No need to send your
farts along. Okay, that's all you need. He's with you now.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
She had a difficult upbringing you sent me, and is
said to have mental health problems.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, it's time to get out of that relationship. Here's
number two.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
What's going on? You too, forgot there's two sons and
no women. Ringing priest in Detroit claims to be an
exorcist charged in the state of Illinois this week for
an incident in which he allegedly flost his teeth with
the hair of a teenage girl.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Why is this news? It's a priest that used hair
for flass. We've heard of much worse. Let's move on
Number one.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Weird Number one?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I don't care, I umber one?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Are you the number one?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Tuesday?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
I love this story? Written by Joel Grover, our friend
from Over at NBC four. A night on the near
the Hollywood Walk of Fame changed a woman's life. As
she was getting into her car and a homeless man
sprinted across Hollywood Boulevard toward her and she was having
a pleasant evening out with an authentic at an authentic
tie restaurant.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Why does it matter that it's authentic? Why can't it
just be a tie restaurant? Why is that relevant?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Pulled her out of the car, dragged her in the
middle of the street, and dumped a bucket of hot
feces on her head.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
All right, why did he choose her?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Like? What about this?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Woman? Said?
Speaker 4 (12:16):
I have a bucket of hot crap and I'm gonna
put it on this one.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
The problem is she has to be tested for infectious
diseases yeah, and retested every few months. Yeah, because of
the potential for it to lie dormant until it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Gets bucket of feces. Bad memories. It's a perfect description.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Of this show. Well, John Cobell chose Caught Up next. Whoa, whoa,
We'll see you tomorrow or maybe Monday. Probably have a
nice weekend, snitches, snitches get oh
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Week stream on the way out, no way to go rewards,
all right, just say the thing, yeah, Blessings