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February 28, 2025 12 mins
ON Friday’s, Gary and Shannon bring you a stack of stories that have slipped through the cracks. These stories are called the #NineNewsNuggetsYouNeedToKnow.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nine News nuggets you need to know? How would you
describe the nine news nuggets you need to know?

Speaker 2 (00:04):
I would describe them as you know, we eat the
meat and potatoes that are things like Ukraine and the
Pope vomiting, and then we get the sprinkles on the cupcake,
and the nine News nuggets are the sprinkles and the
frosting on the cupcake. It is the dessert of the week,
and sometimes it comes in the shape of an inflatable doll.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Here's your honorable mention, honorable mention, not suppose to mention,
honor serving with you a great and honorable motive.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
of honorable Mention.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
You got to try to hide the evidence in some way.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
I suppose a Chinese student at hey Fei University of
Technology in Central China earlier this month sparked a fire
in his dormitory. His roommate a right home unexpectedly, and
I guess the guy forgot to put the sock on
the door or whatever because he was with his inflatable

(01:08):
girlfriend at the time.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Do you have to put a sock on the door
for the inflatable girlfriend? Usually isn't it just a save
face of the half naked girl in your dorm room.
If it's just a doll, no feelings are hurt. No
trauma is caused by someone walking in and seeing your doll.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Naked, right, I don't know. I don't know how the
doll feels about being exposed like that.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
I don't think the doll has feelings. That's the whole purpose.
Imagine a woman without feelings. How great would that be?

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Now you're talking about fairytale land in other news?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
How much money would we make if we solely went
to technical colleges and sold blow up dolls, like in
a surreptitious way, you know, like getting the way into
the dorms kind of like just spread by word of mouth, like, hey,
we've got some real cheap off the truck kind of
blow up dolls.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
That sounds like mechanical tech schools. Don't you think we'd
make some money?

Speaker 1 (02:02):
I see what you're saying, but I'm going to leave
that up to you. Here's number nine, number nine.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
I did nine place if a CoP's dirty nine times
out of tennis, partner's dirty.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Two and I speak nine languages yea till nine. Basically
everybody at table nine, I'd feel ready to go another
nine and niner? Did I catch a niner in there
where you're calling from Milwaukee talking? I love this thing
soventy too.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Haverville Road and Cambridgeshire village of Castle Camps, close to
the Suffolk border. There's been a pothole in the ground
for months and it says if there were oncoming vehicles,
you either have to stop or you hit the pothole
and it's not safe. So a carpenter said the pothole
had been there for a long time, so his family

(02:45):
decided to have a bit of fun with it. What
they did was they faked upside down legs, so it
looks like someone is doing a handstand inside the pothole
and just the bottom half of their body is showing,
so it just looks like legs sticking out of this water.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
It looks like Anti m Antim's house right with the
Wicked Witch, with our feet sticking straight up.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
I think it's very clever.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yes, and they're going to prevent people from running into
this thing, which could be dangerous.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Here's number eight. O Clive is bold every eight second
listening to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
I love Billy's Pirates matchup for a number of reasons,
right sure. One of those is that when you would
be able to check out the score on your TV
screen with the team emblems and the beginning of the
game always starting at zero zero, this would spell out

(03:52):
poop right there in your top left hand corner of
your television. It was fun, really for the whole family.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Now they say that the new score bug that they're
going to use for NBC Sports Philly will not have
the Poop series. They're going to change the locations of
the logos for the Phillies and the Pirates and so
that it doesn't spell out the word poop.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
When you look at it. That's no fun. It is
no fun. I don't like it.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
When listen, the bugs themselves have gotten to the point
where they're unobtrusive. A few years ago they were super
annoying and they got in the way. The one at
Super Bowl was super annoying simply because it was different
than what we had seen in the past. And now
just just let it exist. It's okay if it says
poop every once in a while.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
The more I think about that, that crawl there at
Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
I mean, that was the most interesting thing about that game.
It was the one that generated the most conversation. That's exactly.
Here's number seven, the seventh son of the seventh son.
We're on with seven day the government seven seven A
seven years of college done to drain seven.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
This is like that old Seinfeld episode about the soup Nazi.
We've got a Ramen Nazi. It seems like a Ramen
soup place has put a bounty on the heads of
two customers who left them.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
A bad review.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Toyo Euro is a highly rated euro style Ramen restaurant
in Kyoto, Japan, and they took to Instagram to declare
war threatening the two guys who left this awful one
star review. They're offering cash to people. I can identify
these guys, by the way.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, he said, you should probably avoid eating out. Someday
someone like you will get screwed. I don't care. Just
come directly and I'll deal with you.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
This is what I do when people leave us reviews
on Yelp. That's exactly how I respond.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Who leaves reviews for people doing a radio show on yelp?

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Mm hmm, do it on Facebook like normal people? Right,
that's not true. Here's number six. I got six, you
got six six.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
There's six more weeks of later picture of me or
rabbi and six drunk and longshomny.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
We just dig it into nursing home. Pleasure to ask.
I don't have to take down drink another six pack.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Perfect.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
This is the opportunity here for somebody who makes some money.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh continue, Well, uh, there is a funeral home in
the southwestern province of China that has been serving just
the bomb noodles. Apparently word spread about the noodles, and
a bunch of people have been lining up outside this
funeral home specifically to go to the canteen, the cafeteria,
because they said the food is that good.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
So what do you mean in terms of making money
just opening it up for people that are not interested
in funeral business.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Hey, just make it sound like you're opening up another
funeral home, but only make it the cafeteria. That way,
you still get to brand it as a funeral home.
It sort of takes on sort of that sort I
don't know, pop culture sort of a just talk about
think about the buzz of eating at a place called

(07:04):
the funeral home.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, this is exactly like the oddjextaposition of excellent food
in the strip clubs. That's how we discovered Magic City.
It was because of the wings, not the breasts. And
now here we have excellent Chinese noodles at the funeral home.
I mean, I love it when you're surprised by great
food in an odd place.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
And would you pose as somebody mourning the loss of
a loved one just to get those noodles?

Speaker 3 (07:27):
I've done far worse. Yes, Peers number five rules, we
begin bombing in five minutes. Five little geese. This is
the year five point five five. Give me a favorite.
Loose five pounds immediately.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Stephen Caspar is about to become a hero. This guy
in Lenexa, Kansas has been feeding and training wild raccoons
that wander into his property, and he said during a
legislative hearing in Topeka, it is the highlight of my life.
These are the things that you do when you become
an empty nester. You start playing with raccoons in the backyard.

(08:05):
And he wants to change Kansas law so that raccoons
can be kept as pets.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
You're an empty nester, now, yes, have you started playing
with the raccoons.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
In the yard.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
If I saw a raccoon in my yard, I would
be terrified. That would be a sign of the Second Coming.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Really, I see raccoons in my yard all the time. No,
I don't get very many in mine. They like to
play on the roof. They like to poop on the roof.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
How would a raccoon deal with snakes? I see more
snakes in the yard than you thinkcoons.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Raccoons are very angry. I don't know if they eat snakes,
but they're very mean animals. I wouldn't be surprised he
was able to make such good friends with them. Here's
number four or minute.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Now comandment number four. This isn't the same world as
you left four years ago. Oh my god, Jay, what
is it? It's a baby whale.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
A Russian fisherman photographs sea monsters that he has accidentally
grabbed while fishing. And they said that this latest post
it looks like the head of an n alien.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's awful. It is the most awful thing I've ever
looked at. He did.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
He identified the blob as a smooth lumpsucker. A series
of marine ray finned fish that grows to over a
foot long and resides in the bottoms of the oceans.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
How about some news we can use how to smuggle
cocaine under a wig?

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Number three. Three shall be the number that count, and
the number of the counting shall be three fighters dead
within three hours. Three security clearance level three, all three
of them three. I got all three of you guys,
for the rest of your nas born live. After that
three days, they both start to stink.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Three.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
What are those little cheese cheeses that come in the
plastic and you can rip it off and it's like
a little snack sized cheese.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Baby bells zoa baby bells. My mother loves those. I've
had like nineteen this week.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
So picture uh, speaking of nineteen, picture nineteen baby bell
packets under a wig but on top of your head.
Guy from Columbia was discovered trying to board a plane
to Amsterdam when he had this twenty or nineteen capsules

(10:29):
of cocaine about the size of baby bell packs underneath
his wig that they then cut off of his head.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
You know what may be telling It may be something
that shows either maturity or age or both that I'd
rather have the cheese than the cocaine.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
I remember, for your cardiac health, it's probably a better idea.
I don't know about that. Number two, what's going on YouTube?
Pick out two two.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
People. There's two sons and no women who ringing ginging?

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Do you ever.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
You ever used a gold toilet or gold plated toilet
or gold colored toilet?

Speaker 2 (11:09):
I don't think so. I feel like i'd remember that,
but I also don't think it would. It would be
something that.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
I would remember. You's not really that much into toilets.
You would remember that though. Get in and get out.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
There was an eighteen carrot gold fully functional toilet, part
of an exhibition by an Italian artist, that was stolen
from a home in Oxford Shure in the Great Britain
in the early hours of September twenty nineteen, two days
after it went on display. Was an art installation, but
a fully functioning toilet. The artwork was named.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
America Golden Toilet, No America. Here's the number one, number one?

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Number one? Were number one?

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Ben?

Speaker 3 (11:55):
I decided to look out for number one?

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Are you the number one? Row?

Speaker 3 (11:59):
Number one? Number one?

Speaker 2 (12:02):
I don't like to end the week with a broken testicle,
so I'll let you handle it.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Thanks.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
The German soccer match had to be canceled just before
kickoff when a referee suffered an unexpected injury. One of
the players had a kid that was watching the game
and they were doing ID checks on the players make
sure everybody's on the right team. When a kid starts
running around on the field, well, the referee in this case,

(12:32):
a guy named Stefan Khller, went to go shuttle the
kid off the pitch and the kid chomped down on
his left test all
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