May 16, 2025 • 19 mins
Gary and Shannon give us this weeks NineNewsNuggetsThatYouNeedToKnow!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Where.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I mean, I'm afraid to get into this one because
I'm afraid what people are.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Going to do.
Speaker 4 (00:03):
But what you learned this week on the Gary Change,
Uh oh, so this is a lot of This may
be a little harsh on you.
Speaker 5 (00:10):
I don't know. Maybe it's This show is a lot
of things to a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Sure is, And we appreciate that everybody sticks around because
they know that maybe sometimes they might laugh at.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Us or with us.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
The umbrella of a lot of things to a lot
of people really hides a lot of bad things.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That's a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, it's like adding extra layers of paint to the
wall when it's already damn.
Speaker 5 (00:33):
A rope on a clergyman.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What Good morning, Gary and Shannon.
Speaker 6 (00:41):
What I've learned this week is that Gary doesn't take
care of his dog and he's getting divorced.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
What I learned is that Gary, like me, apparently checks
the baseball schedule every day, because when I looked at it,
I realized, hey, everybody's playing. I guess you could call
them a neighbor, not necessarily a rival, but about as
close to the neighbor as you can get. So we'll
see how this works.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
From baseball.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Secondly, as much as the dirty Gary and Shannon podcast sounds,
I'm probably gonna when the show's that I'm stick with porn.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
M we can't.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
He's gonna stick with porn.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah, we can't.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
I can't. You know, we cannot.
Speaker 7 (01:24):
We Well, I learned that Gary doesn't like Cherry Garcia.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
I think I liked it once upon a time, but
you know.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Hoggin Dalls, Hoggendalls, vanilla bean only way to go.
Speaker 8 (01:39):
And on top of that, I learned that Shannon God
listens to Shannon's prayers because we got sunshine down here
in the Long Beach up to Torrents area.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
Yeah, yeah, thank.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
You, beg Yeah, thank you. Have a great week at
Gary and Shannon. Am I sure listening to you right now?
His name is long time listener in Orange County.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
This week I learned that.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Shannon really wasn't talking about Gennibal's a lot this week?
Are you okay?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Is a Gary Gary lay offer man?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Honestly, I defend you too much, Hi, guys.
Speaker 7 (02:12):
This week I learned on the Gary and Shannon show
that while I live in Hemmett and you can't spell
himant without spelling math, I have tigers and you can't
bring your bags to a grocery store. Oh yeah, have
a great weekend.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I've never heard that you can't spell him without math
and I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Hey, Gary, Hay, Shannon Michael from Narco, Mike, what did
I learn this week?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah? Well, this is what I learned this week. Gary
lit the dog out, Gary lit the dog out.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
You're in trouble.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
You're in trouble, little shot and Freud. Everyone's loving it.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Dog is fine, aug is fine.
Speaker 6 (02:49):
What I learned this week on the Gary and Shannon Show,
Shannon h raisins, that's on American.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Sorry, I just do I don't.
Speaker 8 (02:58):
This week on Gary and Shannon Show, I learned Vatican
City has their own secret tennis courts. I guess they're
secluded from the public.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Back in the.
Speaker 8 (03:06):
Seventies, I guess the cardinals used to get together and
have their own little friendly tennis tournaments. Although I think
we're just assuming they were friendly. Who knows, they could
have been talking a lot of crap.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
I think that's why they starting.
Speaker 8 (03:17):
Y'all have a good weekend, See.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You two, right, all right, one more Hello.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
This week I learned that Gary was engaged twice, once
to his current wife, and the other was too quote
a cheating whore.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I didn't now. That was not nice. That was not nice.
That all right?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
For those of you who really love producer Keana is,
she's going to be either elevated in your eyes or
brought down.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
Yeah, if you were like.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
That guy and missed genital talk this week, buckle.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Up, Buckle up, buttercup, it's about to get real.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
You were gonna say something like genitally or something.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Here's our honorable mention, honorable mention, not supposed to mention.
You spend an honor serving with you a.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
Great and honorable movies.
Speaker 7 (04:20):
So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
of honorable Mentions.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Well, this is a verse.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
A couple couple of people found dead at one of
these homeless encampments in La.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Here's a twist.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
One of the people was found partially eaten by dogs.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
My god.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
A woman's body found inside a sidewalk ten had been
reportedly locked from the inside. Family members were unable to
reach the victim. They tear it open and they find
her body and then a man's body as well. She's
just forty six years old. Oh god, that is awful, awful,
(04:58):
Why you wouldn't want to clean that up up? But
you know what, We're letting people live the way that
they want to live. We're respecting their feelings, right, shoot.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
On by dogs.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't think anybody wants that number nine, number nine?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
I did nine place if the cops dirty nine times?
Speaker 7 (05:14):
Out of tennis partners dirty two and.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I speak nine languages yet nine basically.
Speaker 8 (05:19):
Everybody at table nning.
Speaker 9 (05:20):
I'deel ready to go another nine?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And niner?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Did I catch a niner in there where you're calling
from Milwaukie talkie? The Cannapolist Cannonballers minor league baseball team
has a little event where they have dogs that show up.
Their beloved bat dog, Casey Betty, comes and grabs the
bat after the after an at bat.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Now are these dogs that are sanctioned to be at
the game? Are these dogs that got out of a
home nearby and.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Ouch officially members of the Kannapolis cannon Ballers team. They
said that Casey Betty had a bathroom emergency. Oh, which
is funny because there was no bathroom in sight. There's
just a few feet away from home plate. So moments
(06:12):
before preparing to fetch a bat. She let it loose.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Yeah, instead of using gloves or a you know, a
doggy poop bag, scooped it right up with his bare hand.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Get it.
Speaker 8 (06:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Isn't this something that you learned as a parent Sometimes
you got to scoop up poop or vomit or whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Soap and water does amazing things. Yeah, and you can.
It will get you past a lot of nasty stuff.
Just make the problem go away. Just handle it. Handle it.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Guy gets a raise.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
It's almost like if you never find.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Truly go number eight.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
A tive is bowled every eight second, listening to eight
different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Jello shots never really did anything for me.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I mean, I don't know. This isn't that troubling. It's
not like the kid was handing out fireball shots. I
mean it was a kindergartener, So that's a problem.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
An investigation underway after a Pennsylvania school district said a
kindergartener was giving jello shots to classmates three other students.
They say immediate action was taken. The students were called
to the nurse's office, ems was called, parents were notified
met first responders at the hospital. Come on, like, these
(07:38):
parents haven't given their kids, Benadrill.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Unclear how the kid got the alcoholic jello.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Cups and mom and dad probably had them in the refrigerator.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yeah, and what is that mean?
Speaker 5 (07:52):
Even unclear?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Come on, do we even know if the kid knew
that they were Jello's.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Beautiful, beautiful jewel toned the rain, the red?
Speaker 5 (08:01):
What's your favorite jello flavor? I like strawberry.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I don't know red, Yes, strawberry, I would say red.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Okay, strawberry. I like it to taste like red. Okay.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Number seven Starting to sort out here, You've got other things.
Speaker 9 (08:21):
On your mica, like calimony.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
So here's a fun twist.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Remember how we're talking about that Gary and Shannon show
dating game.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
We've got a contested y'all.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
No, a man was caught attempting to smuggle parrots into California. Specifically,
when officers noticed unusual clothing bulges.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Yeah, it was around his ankles. They discovered six birds
stuffed into his boots.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
To which I say, us, why.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Are we having a problem with a man smuggling some
birds in his boots?
Speaker 5 (09:05):
We usually have stories.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
About customs finding somebody who smuggled bricks of meth in
their underwear or in their anal cavities. This is a
feel good smuggle story. I don't know why we're not
embracing this man.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
I'm not sure what you feel good about here.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Uh parrots and they're not in his pants, they're in
his boots.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Six undeclared birds in his boots. Sorry, six parrots in
the car, and the undeclared birds that were hidden in
his boots, including two that were dead. Back on the
fourth of May, a twenty six year old man applying
for admission to the US at sany Sidro was caught
smuggling sixteen live parakeets and three live chickens.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Three live chickens.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
That sounds like a ritual, right, Like they're gonna kill
the the chickens and use their blood smeared on their
faces or something.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Who smuggles a live chicken.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Ritual? People?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Like in bull Durham they needed a lie exactly number six.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I got six, You got six six, number six.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
There's six more weeks of water, a picture of me
or Rabbi, and six drunken longshomyn.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
We just dig you in a nursing home. Closer to us,
I don't have to go take.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
That drink another Guys, leave your penises alone.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when it comes.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
To I'm not talking about that.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Adjusting the way that God created your penis. He created
it beautifully. Let it live its life. It doesn't need
filler injections. Men apparently are flocking to the doctors or
the medspas to get penis filler injections.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
Just say no to this.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
If she doesn't like your penis, go find someone who does.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I have no response to that.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
I think it was pretty solid advice. Yes, no need
to put a needle in there. Ah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Here's number five for five.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
I have five rules.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
We begin bombing five little monkeys.
Speaker 9 (11:16):
This is the year five point five.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Five would be a favorite. Loose five pounds immediately.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
My house I grew up in, we had an old
We had not a wooden shed, a metal shed out
in the backyard, which is where we would keep lawn equipment, lawnmower,
a couple of bikes, you know, stuff like that. And
I'm always amazed that the big warehouse stores, like the
home Depots and the lows, they have these on display.
(11:44):
But they're always locked, at least the ones I've seen there.
They're locked so that people can't get into them because
they don't want people living in there.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
I always saw like a shed or like a playhouse,
like a friend had a little playhouse in the backyard,
you know, just one of those plastic ones that you
could barely turn around and let alone live in. But
I always thought it would be so cool. I couldn't
wait to like live in a shed because I'd be
by myself.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It's like your own little house.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Smell a little bit like gasoline. Yeah in is it
slide deel or slidel?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
You'll be yeah told, yeah, somebody will tell me.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Police there in Louisiana responded to a call at a
parking lot at a lows of Sunday night because they
found a guy inside a display shed. Witness reported the
guy inside typically used to show customers the various storage
options of course out there, and different building materials and
things like that. When officers showed up, they started looking
(12:42):
down the line of sheds on display, and it wasn't
until the fourth or fifth that they found the suspect
lying on his back pants around his ankles, open container
of vasoline and electronic device.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Are you going to say the rest of the part?
Where do you get the vasaline? It seems odd.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
There's number four, m number four minds.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Probably on his fourth tranquilizer by.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Now number four.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
This isn't the same world you left four years Oh.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
This is unfortunate. Do we know where Keana's husband is? Like,
do we have a like find my iPhone probably tracker
thing to make sure he's safe. Well, it's just a
lot of penis violence. There was the vasaline, and now
we've got a Brazilian woman accused of hacking off her
(13:46):
husband's penis and cooking it in a bean's stew.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
It's important that it was a bean stit that sounds
awful into that. Uh, they added part of She added
part of her husband's anatomy to the meal and ate
it after his life in a revenge attack.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Well, she caught him watching porn. So that's why you
go into the shed, guys. That is that guy. And
the last story was onto something. You go in the
shed and she's not going to catch you.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's not clear yet if she was the only person
who tried the stew she cooked, or if others eat it.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah, here's number three. Wait wait, no, wait, nope, no more.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
This comes just months after another woman in Brazil was
arrested after confessing and removing a man's confessing to removing
and eating a man's heart and genitals. Apparently this is
a thing in Brazil.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
There's something in the water down there. Three shall be
the number that count and the number of the counting
shall be Three were dead within three hours, three security
clearance level three. All three of three. I got all
three of you guys for the rest of your naturally
born live. After about three days, they both start to stink.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Three.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Did you see how detailed that story got?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Whoa, it's gonna be out of the Daily Mail.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
There is a story out of the UK.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
A mom has been criticized online for ordering a cake
for her son's birthday. She wanted to help him stop breastfeeding. Okay, well,
I could think of other ways to do it, but
apparently she bought a double boob cake for this kid.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
That's funny in order to do that. Who cares?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
What would a three year old look at that and say, oh, oh,
I know what that means. I should probably stop breastfeeding
off me?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Mom?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeah, I don't know, but you know, people are weird.
They're going to do stuff stuff. Why are we chastising?
Why are we writing full news stories about this mom's
sense of humor making a boob cap for a kid
that's trying to wean off the boob.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Here's number two. What's going on you two? There's two
sons and no women.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
When you were a young boy and you were growing up,
what did you want to be when.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
You grew up?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
A veterinarian?
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Okay, veterinarian.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
When I could you?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
When I used to be able to take care of animals.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I saw the opportunity and I sat here didn't take it.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
But anyway, poop fairy, that was not on the list
for you.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Because Vancouver is hiring people known as poop fairies.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
What is their job? Well, it sounds like it is.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
They have a human waste problem so bad that they're
hiring poop fairies to clean up the city sidewalks. Human
and dog waste has become a real problem in Vancouver.
I'm assuming this is Vancouver, Washington.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
No, no, Vancouver, Canada. That's a good question. I'm not sure.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
We should know if this is an American problem or
a Canadian problem.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
That would be Canadian.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Yeah, because they got the Canadians. They poop on the streets.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Up there do they hastings crossings?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
And my goodness? Is it the Is it the milk
in a bag? Is that what causes the issues?
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Here's number one? Weird number one, number one, We're number one.
Speaker 9 (17:22):
Then I decided to look out for number one.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Are you the number one?
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Row?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Number one?
Speaker 9 (17:28):
Number one? Number one?
Speaker 5 (17:30):
All right, to look into your crystal ball? What do you.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
See the penis of the future?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
Okay, you just wanted to jump right the chase? Yeah,
I go for it.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Like they say that.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Well, all of our bodies are growing more than they
used to.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
But it says that that specific body part of our
body has grown at an alarming rate in just thirty years,
that the average size has jumped twenty five percent from
nineteen ninety two to two thousand late one. Yeah, and
that by the year twenty one hundred, you could see
it go past about eight.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
And a half inches. It seems like a lot.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Good night, everybody.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
What movie was this, by the way, I take the
curse off door. No, it is Bull Durham, the movie Boulder.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
It wasn't Bull Durham. It was major League dork.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
No, it was no, that was Bull Durham. But Joe
Boo that was that. The the the black magic that
went along with major League that was also it was baseball.
There's a lot of voodoo that goes on in all
the superstition. Yeah, everyone's right, everyone's right. Everyone's right, it's right,
everyone's frying dork.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
You should you should use that at home.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Okay, we're both right. Everybody's right. No, that's not going
to fly. Great job, Keana, Yeah, very proud, very ashamed.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Can we should I say a prayer to God for you?
That's probably Sunshine never hurts
Where.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I mean, I'm afraid to get into this one because
I'm afraid what people are.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
Going to do.
Speaker 4 (00:03):
But what you learned this week on the Gary Change,
Uh oh, so this is a lot of This may
be a little harsh on you.
Speaker 5 (00:10):
I don't know. Maybe it's This show is a lot
of things to a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Sure is, And we appreciate that everybody sticks around because
they know that maybe sometimes they might laugh at.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Us or with us.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
The umbrella of a lot of things to a lot
of people really hides a lot of bad things.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That's a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, it's like adding extra layers of paint to the
wall when it's already damn.
Speaker 5 (00:33):
A rope on a clergyman.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What Good morning, Gary and Shannon.
Speaker 6 (00:41):
What I've learned this week is that Gary doesn't take
care of his dog and he's getting divorced.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
What I learned is that Gary, like me, apparently checks
the baseball schedule every day, because when I looked at it,
I realized, hey, everybody's playing. I guess you could call
them a neighbor, not necessarily a rival, but about as
close to the neighbor as you can get. So we'll
see how this works.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
From baseball.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Secondly, as much as the dirty Gary and Shannon podcast sounds,
I'm probably gonna when the show's that I'm stick with porn.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
M we can't.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
He's gonna stick with porn.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah, we can't.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
I can't. You know, we cannot.
Speaker 7 (01:24):
We Well, I learned that Gary doesn't like Cherry Garcia.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
I think I liked it once upon a time, but
you know.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Hoggin Dalls, Hoggendalls, vanilla bean only way to go.
Speaker 8 (01:39):
And on top of that, I learned that Shannon God
listens to Shannon's prayers because we got sunshine down here
in the Long Beach up to Torrents area.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
Yeah, yeah, thank.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
You, beg Yeah, thank you. Have a great week at
Gary and Shannon. Am I sure listening to you right now?
His name is long time listener in Orange County.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
This week I learned that.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Shannon really wasn't talking about Gennibal's a lot this week?
Are you okay?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Is a Gary Gary lay offer man?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Honestly, I defend you too much, Hi, guys.
Speaker 7 (02:12):
This week I learned on the Gary and Shannon show
that while I live in Hemmett and you can't spell
himant without spelling math, I have tigers and you can't
bring your bags to a grocery store. Oh yeah, have
a great weekend.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I've never heard that you can't spell him without math
and I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Hey, Gary, Hay, Shannon Michael from Narco, Mike, what did
I learn this week?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah? Well, this is what I learned this week. Gary
lit the dog out, Gary lit the dog out.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
You're in trouble.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
You're in trouble, little shot and Freud. Everyone's loving it.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Dog is fine, aug is fine.
Speaker 6 (02:49):
What I learned this week on the Gary and Shannon Show,
Shannon h raisins, that's on American.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Sorry, I just do I don't.
Speaker 8 (02:58):
This week on Gary and Shannon Show, I learned Vatican
City has their own secret tennis courts. I guess they're
secluded from the public.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Back in the.
Speaker 8 (03:06):
Seventies, I guess the cardinals used to get together and
have their own little friendly tennis tournaments. Although I think
we're just assuming they were friendly. Who knows, they could
have been talking a lot of crap.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
I think that's why they starting.
Speaker 8 (03:17):
Y'all have a good weekend, See.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You two, right, all right, one more Hello.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
This week I learned that Gary was engaged twice, once
to his current wife, and the other was too quote
a cheating whore.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I didn't now. That was not nice. That was not nice.
That all right?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
For those of you who really love producer Keana is,
she's going to be either elevated in your eyes or
brought down.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
Yeah, if you were like.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
That guy and missed genital talk this week, buckle.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Up, Buckle up, buttercup, it's about to get real.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
You were gonna say something like genitally or something.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Here's our honorable mention, honorable mention, not supposed to mention.
You spend an honor serving with you a.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
Great and honorable movies.
Speaker 7 (04:20):
So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
of honorable Mentions.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Well, this is a verse.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
A couple couple of people found dead at one of
these homeless encampments in La.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Here's a twist.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
One of the people was found partially eaten by dogs.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
My god.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
A woman's body found inside a sidewalk ten had been
reportedly locked from the inside. Family members were unable to
reach the victim. They tear it open and they find
her body and then a man's body as well. She's
just forty six years old. Oh god, that is awful, awful,
(04:58):
Why you wouldn't want to clean that up up? But
you know what, We're letting people live the way that
they want to live. We're respecting their feelings, right, shoot.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
On by dogs.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't think anybody wants that number nine, number nine?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
I did nine place if the cops dirty nine times?
Speaker 7 (05:14):
Out of tennis partners dirty two and.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I speak nine languages yet nine basically.
Speaker 8 (05:19):
Everybody at table nning.
Speaker 9 (05:20):
I'deel ready to go another nine?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And niner?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Did I catch a niner in there where you're calling
from Milwaukie talkie? The Cannapolist Cannonballers minor league baseball team
has a little event where they have dogs that show up.
Their beloved bat dog, Casey Betty, comes and grabs the
bat after the after an at bat.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Now are these dogs that are sanctioned to be at
the game? Are these dogs that got out of a
home nearby and.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Ouch officially members of the Kannapolis cannon Ballers team. They
said that Casey Betty had a bathroom emergency. Oh, which
is funny because there was no bathroom in sight. There's
just a few feet away from home plate. So moments
(06:12):
before preparing to fetch a bat. She let it loose.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Yeah, instead of using gloves or a you know, a
doggy poop bag, scooped it right up with his bare hand.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Get it.
Speaker 8 (06:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Isn't this something that you learned as a parent Sometimes
you got to scoop up poop or vomit or whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Soap and water does amazing things. Yeah, and you can.
It will get you past a lot of nasty stuff.
Just make the problem go away. Just handle it. Handle it.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Guy gets a raise.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
It's almost like if you never find.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Truly go number eight.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
A tive is bowled every eight second, listening to eight
different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Jello shots never really did anything for me.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I mean, I don't know. This isn't that troubling. It's
not like the kid was handing out fireball shots. I
mean it was a kindergartener, So that's a problem.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
An investigation underway after a Pennsylvania school district said a
kindergartener was giving jello shots to classmates three other students.
They say immediate action was taken. The students were called
to the nurse's office, ems was called, parents were notified
met first responders at the hospital. Come on, like, these
(07:38):
parents haven't given their kids, Benadrill.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Unclear how the kid got the alcoholic jello.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Cups and mom and dad probably had them in the refrigerator.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yeah, and what is that mean?
Speaker 5 (07:52):
Even unclear?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Come on, do we even know if the kid knew
that they were Jello's.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Beautiful, beautiful jewel toned the rain, the red?
Speaker 5 (08:01):
What's your favorite jello flavor? I like strawberry.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I don't know red, Yes, strawberry, I would say red.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Okay, strawberry. I like it to taste like red. Okay.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Number seven Starting to sort out here, You've got other things.
Speaker 9 (08:21):
On your mica, like calimony.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
So here's a fun twist.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Remember how we're talking about that Gary and Shannon show
dating game.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
We've got a contested y'all.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
No, a man was caught attempting to smuggle parrots into California. Specifically,
when officers noticed unusual clothing bulges.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Yeah, it was around his ankles. They discovered six birds
stuffed into his boots.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
To which I say, us, why.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Are we having a problem with a man smuggling some
birds in his boots?
Speaker 5 (09:05):
We usually have stories.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
About customs finding somebody who smuggled bricks of meth in
their underwear or in their anal cavities. This is a
feel good smuggle story. I don't know why we're not
embracing this man.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
I'm not sure what you feel good about here.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Uh parrots and they're not in his pants, they're in
his boots.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Six undeclared birds in his boots. Sorry, six parrots in
the car, and the undeclared birds that were hidden in
his boots, including two that were dead. Back on the
fourth of May, a twenty six year old man applying
for admission to the US at sany Sidro was caught
smuggling sixteen live parakeets and three live chickens.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Three live chickens.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
That sounds like a ritual, right, Like they're gonna kill
the the chickens and use their blood smeared on their
faces or something.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Who smuggles a live chicken.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Ritual? People?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Like in bull Durham they needed a lie exactly number six.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I got six, You got six six, number six.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
There's six more weeks of water, a picture of me
or Rabbi, and six drunken longshomyn.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
We just dig you in a nursing home. Closer to us,
I don't have to go take.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
That drink another Guys, leave your penises alone.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when it comes.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
To I'm not talking about that.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Adjusting the way that God created your penis. He created
it beautifully. Let it live its life. It doesn't need
filler injections. Men apparently are flocking to the doctors or
the medspas to get penis filler injections.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
Just say no to this.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
If she doesn't like your penis, go find someone who does.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I have no response to that.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
I think it was pretty solid advice. Yes, no need
to put a needle in there. Ah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Here's number five for five.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
I have five rules.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
We begin bombing five little monkeys.
Speaker 9 (11:16):
This is the year five point five.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Five would be a favorite. Loose five pounds immediately.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
My house I grew up in, we had an old
We had not a wooden shed, a metal shed out
in the backyard, which is where we would keep lawn equipment, lawnmower,
a couple of bikes, you know, stuff like that. And
I'm always amazed that the big warehouse stores, like the
home Depots and the lows, they have these on display.
(11:44):
But they're always locked, at least the ones I've seen there.
They're locked so that people can't get into them because
they don't want people living in there.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
I always saw like a shed or like a playhouse,
like a friend had a little playhouse in the backyard,
you know, just one of those plastic ones that you
could barely turn around and let alone live in. But
I always thought it would be so cool. I couldn't
wait to like live in a shed because I'd be
by myself.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It's like your own little house.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Smell a little bit like gasoline. Yeah in is it
slide deel or slidel?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
You'll be yeah told, yeah, somebody will tell me.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Police there in Louisiana responded to a call at a
parking lot at a lows of Sunday night because they
found a guy inside a display shed. Witness reported the
guy inside typically used to show customers the various storage
options of course out there, and different building materials and
things like that. When officers showed up, they started looking
(12:42):
down the line of sheds on display, and it wasn't
until the fourth or fifth that they found the suspect
lying on his back pants around his ankles, open container
of vasoline and electronic device.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Are you going to say the rest of the part?
Where do you get the vasaline? It seems odd.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
There's number four, m number four minds.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Probably on his fourth tranquilizer by.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Now number four.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
This isn't the same world you left four years Oh.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
This is unfortunate. Do we know where Keana's husband is? Like,
do we have a like find my iPhone probably tracker
thing to make sure he's safe. Well, it's just a
lot of penis violence. There was the vasaline, and now
we've got a Brazilian woman accused of hacking off her
(13:46):
husband's penis and cooking it in a bean's stew.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
It's important that it was a bean stit that sounds
awful into that. Uh, they added part of She added
part of her husband's anatomy to the meal and ate
it after his life in a revenge attack.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Well, she caught him watching porn. So that's why you
go into the shed, guys. That is that guy. And
the last story was onto something. You go in the
shed and she's not going to catch you.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's not clear yet if she was the only person
who tried the stew she cooked, or if others eat it.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah, here's number three. Wait wait, no, wait, nope, no more.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
This comes just months after another woman in Brazil was
arrested after confessing and removing a man's confessing to removing
and eating a man's heart and genitals. Apparently this is
a thing in Brazil.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
There's something in the water down there. Three shall be
the number that count and the number of the counting
shall be Three were dead within three hours, three security
clearance level three. All three of three. I got all
three of you guys for the rest of your naturally
born live. After about three days, they both start to stink.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Three.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Did you see how detailed that story got?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Whoa, it's gonna be out of the Daily Mail.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
There is a story out of the UK.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
A mom has been criticized online for ordering a cake
for her son's birthday. She wanted to help him stop breastfeeding. Okay, well,
I could think of other ways to do it, but
apparently she bought a double boob cake for this kid.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
That's funny in order to do that. Who cares?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
What would a three year old look at that and say, oh, oh,
I know what that means. I should probably stop breastfeeding
off me?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Mom?
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeah, I don't know, but you know, people are weird.
They're going to do stuff stuff. Why are we chastising?
Why are we writing full news stories about this mom's
sense of humor making a boob cap for a kid
that's trying to wean off the boob.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Here's number two. What's going on you two? There's two
sons and no women.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
When you were a young boy and you were growing up,
what did you want to be when.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
You grew up?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
A veterinarian?
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Okay, veterinarian.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
When I could you?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
When I used to be able to take care of animals.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I saw the opportunity and I sat here didn't take it.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
But anyway, poop fairy, that was not on the list
for you.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Because Vancouver is hiring people known as poop fairies.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
What is their job? Well, it sounds like it is.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
They have a human waste problem so bad that they're
hiring poop fairies to clean up the city sidewalks. Human
and dog waste has become a real problem in Vancouver.
I'm assuming this is Vancouver, Washington.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
No, no, Vancouver, Canada. That's a good question. I'm not sure.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
We should know if this is an American problem or
a Canadian problem.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
That would be Canadian.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Yeah, because they got the Canadians. They poop on the streets.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Up there do they hastings crossings?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
And my goodness? Is it the Is it the milk
in a bag? Is that what causes the issues?
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Here's number one? Weird number one, number one, We're number one.
Speaker 9 (17:22):
Then I decided to look out for number one.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Are you the number one?
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Row?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Number one?
Speaker 9 (17:28):
Number one? Number one?
Speaker 5 (17:30):
All right, to look into your crystal ball? What do you.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
See the penis of the future?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
Okay, you just wanted to jump right the chase? Yeah,
I go for it.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Like they say that.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Well, all of our bodies are growing more than they
used to.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
But it says that that specific body part of our
body has grown at an alarming rate in just thirty years,
that the average size has jumped twenty five percent from
nineteen ninety two to two thousand late one. Yeah, and
that by the year twenty one hundred, you could see
it go past about eight.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
And a half inches. It seems like a lot.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Good night, everybody.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
What movie was this, by the way, I take the
curse off door. No, it is Bull Durham, the movie Boulder.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
It wasn't Bull Durham. It was major League dork.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
No, it was no, that was Bull Durham. But Joe
Boo that was that. The the the black magic that
went along with major League that was also it was baseball.
There's a lot of voodoo that goes on in all
the superstition. Yeah, everyone's right, everyone's right. Everyone's right, it's right,
everyone's frying dork.
Speaker 5 (18:44):
You should you should use that at home.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Okay, we're both right. Everybody's right. No, that's not going
to fly. Great job, Keana, Yeah, very proud, very ashamed.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Can we should I say a prayer to God for you?
That's probably Sunshine never hurts
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