October 2, 2024 • 11 mins
Shannon is out but Gary brings on Justin Worsham to talk all things parenting!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Justin Woshem's joined us.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
He is the host of the dad some times parent
children and you have a couple of kids. I do,
and there are I don't even know where to start
except this debate across social media platforms over Shannon Nelson.
Cannon's are always getting us in trouble. She's sixty eight.
She believes that. She said that sometimes packing our kids
(00:27):
these very elaborate lunches or having extensive after school's schedules
is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, she goes after millennial parents.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
She talks a lot. If you want to follow her,
if you're on the TI Talks, you can find her.
Boomer in a bubble is her name, but her handle
is at Pinky nell Nell spelt n is in Nancy
e l. This article kind of lumped everything in the
first thing she the latest video that she posted that
was mentioned in the article is she held up a
sheet that had very extensive instructions that she got from
(00:58):
her child about taking care of her grandchildren over two
and a half days.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
And do you have audios at where you're looking at it?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, So anyway, she was, and I've come across this
a lot. I've even experienced this there was a point
of contention between when my mom would come and help
watch my sons when they were babies and my wife's
mom my wife's mom, like h joking. We used to
store breast milk in the freezer because whenever my wife
was at work so that we could feed one of
the boys, and my mother in law blew through months
(01:30):
worth of supply in a couple days of helping watch
the kids. And my mom was, weirdly enough, obviously had
spent an entire lifetime taking care of children, much more
than my mother in law, And I don't know if
it's because of that or just who she is as
a person, but when she came home, she was like, Okay,
so what's the routine, what are their signals? What do
I need to know? And so we did give her instructions,
but it's not the same it. But even my sibling
(01:51):
and I think the reason why I have this perspective
of like, you can't trust your parents to do right
by your children is because I have older siblings who
would take their kids to is it with my grandparents,
and I would hear them complain, like there's a fun
story about my sister bringing her kids to my parents
and they stayed a week and she asked them, She's like, well,
did you guys take a bath or anything? And the
kids are like, oh yeah, and then she opened up
(02:12):
their suitcase and goes, then, why is this exactly the
way I left it when I dropped you off? And
so my dad would jokingly make sure the first day
any of the kids got there, go okay, tussle all
the clothes in your suitcase.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Dump it out so that then it goes back.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
And then there's like I've my in laws have had
like we don't give them chocolate. It just seems like
such a weird thing to me. The whole point of
grandparents is that things are supposed to be different, and
there's lots of benefits. I've even I didn't think of
bringing it in, but there's tons of research that shows
having a relationships with grandparents as kids where there's just
less rules and less structure, is really good for kids.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But we're talking about justin Warsham about parenting, and specifically
about a grandmother, this boomer grandma that posted this TikTok
video and just basically said, hey, I'm not new to this,
let's cut back on the old five five page instruction
manual for how Grandma takes care of the kids.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
There's a couple comments that she got that I thought
were interesting. This one obviously from a millennial she says,
Boomer masterclass and passive aggression as per usual. And then
another one that I think was a boomer fan of hers, said, well,
you haven't noticed that they are the very first generation
to be qualified to be parents. I'm hoping I'd live
long enough to watch them get their backlash for this
current style of parenting. She herself has said. I think
(03:29):
she said this on She said this on the Today Show.
She talked about the lunches, but also said that she
feels she finds herself biting her tongue a lot and
feels that the next generation is growing up too soft,
which I honestly like. There's lots of benefits I'm sure
to being soft, Like it makes you more emotionally available, vulnerable.
Right again, I have yet to see beyond tolerance, right,
(03:52):
beyond social tolerance. I've yet to see grand civilization advances
in this softness because it comes with a lot of downside.
A lot of people who are struggling with anxiety, depression
and other issues just are easily overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
But I was gonna say, one of the benefits of
having my kids watched by my parents is they get
to see how different I am from my parents. And
I think there's such a there's because they don't understand, right,
I mean, they don't get it, and because I'll talk
(04:30):
about Listen, my parents were weird and I love them
for their quirky My wife would say quirky. I would
say weird and very endearing in a lot of those
quirky qualities that they had. But I had to explain
to my kids, like listen, we never threw food out
like lefto. You wouldn't open the refrigerator and see leftovers
(04:52):
that were there for too.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Long that didn't exist.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
You'd scrape off the gray stuff and heat it back
up and eat it like that. That was the way
I was raised. So it's weird for me to a
throw things away, b get rid of perfectly good food.
And they wouldn't like they didn't. It didn't compute until
they were old enough and conscious of Grandma. Grandma put
(05:16):
the turkey on the dryer for three days, and I
would say, I would just sit there and I go
see I told you. I have told you over and
over again. The dry now my like a food dryer
or the actual clothes dryer.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The clothes dryer. I'm surprised you have to ask you guys,
can't you can't see Gary's face. Gary looked at me,
like the clothes dryer, you idiot? Where else is the
turkey or what was Why was it on a dryer?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
There's not a lot of room in their kitchen. They
would pre cook a turkey for Thanksgiving as the rest
on the dryer, probably on Tuesday and then on Wednesday,
and then they would put it on the dryer and
just cover it in foil, and then when Thursday rolls around,
they just reheat so they don't have to cook it
for six hours or whatever.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
So it's sat at room temperature for more than twenty
four hours.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Again, now, if everybody could see your flast, yes, I
now see the point that you're thinking, Yeah, that's that
is quirky.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I would say that is great though, I love every
bit of it.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And the other thing is there are other instances like
my wife would say that her parents have changed greatly
since since she was.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Oh, yes, that's hard to watch.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
So so what we would be different if they were
in charge of watching our kids. Is because they, you know,
on the ground playing with the kids and like you're
the greatest grandkids ever and we're sitting.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
There like when are you? Where were you when.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
I was a kid when my dad and stepmom got married.
My siblings are nine and eleven years older than me,
and so they obviously had kids. When I was still
a teenager and watching my father be pointed at by
a one and a half year old nephew of mine
and watching him dunk his butt in a lake and
laugh hysterically, I was literally I was like, who the
hell is this guy? Like what is going on here?
It like it hurt my brain and it made me
(06:59):
aker at the time because I was like, this is
the guy who called me dumb and retarded my entire childer, Right,
what is he doing now?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
This is not the man I love. You do not
get that guy.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
But it goes to what we have said many times
is that being aware of your shortcomings are being conscious
of your desire to be a good parent is often
times not the indicator that you're a bad parent, right,
It in fact is the opposite, that you're aware of it.
(07:31):
You know that you have some things that you should
be doing. You're the one who's okay.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
The resounding thing that seems to be coming about in
my head at least, and maybe it's self manifested, is
just that everybody needs to just calm down. I had
an author I'm blinking on his name, but he wrote
a great book called Calm the f Down, where he
would talk to doctors and nurses about all these fears
that new parents have. And it just seems like if
you're giving your parents instructions on how to take care
of your kid, I really I don't know without knowing
(07:58):
your parents, maybe that's unfair. But like, at least for
my parents, like they were definitely different, Like my mom
has a and I think this is awesome for breakfast.
One time they would just give cereal to my kid,
like lucky charms, and my younger son would just eat
the marshmallows and she's like, did you get enough to eat?
And he's like, ah, there wasn't a lot in this one.
He left all the cereals still in there. So my
mom just goes okay, and she grabs a handful of
(08:19):
those mini marshmallows you put in hot cocoa and just
throws them on his plate.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
She goes, well that work. He goes, that'll do, and
he just.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Chout out them and that's the fun, right Like that's
there is a lot that I think can be gained
from that, because that gives credibility to your parents, and
it makes it easier for your parents to impart the
good things that they imparted on you.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
It's not all the bad things.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And I think your kids will pick up on the
not so good things, at least mine have. They know
that where their grandparents are weak in the parenting area,
and they but it's just there's that element where you
don't have to be responsible, and it's there's a lot
of freedom that I think comes with it that's good
for the kids.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
And if I could, if I could foment, if I
could farm a positive relationship between my kids and their grandparents,
I absolutely would. I mean, I wouldn't want them to
feel negative about I don't even like it. I mean again,
my parents were quirky, and I don't know if my
kids were entirely comfortable around them all the time because
of that. Yeah, I mean, my parents would work. That
(09:14):
was what they did for fun. I mean they did
yardwork and stuff for yeahah, and they would ask the
kids to help out. Here's how you hoe a garden,
Here's how you rake leaves.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And when you're pays, you probably look at that and go,
Grandma and grandpa are miserable. But when you're thirty seven
and now you're doing yard work, you're like, oh, and
when you're twenty seven and you have friends who don't
know how to rake leaves exactly because they've never done it.
Like I've literally watched high school kids who don't know
how to use a broom, like they have no clue
their muscle memories, like a, I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They look like toddlers and they're seventeen and they were
falling over we working at room, hurting themselves.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
She also goes into that I think is a great
point as she shows that the Bento box lunch This
was another thing she caught a lot of flak on
her TikTok, is that this modern trend of they have
the lunch boxes that the kids get have these little
compartments and they have like there's Thomas and broccoli and
leftover pizza and so you have a fruit, a veg
my wife asked it, there's something crunchy, there's something sweet,
there's something nutritious, and it's like eighteen options that you're
(10:12):
giving these kids. And the mom is making fun of it.
When grandma was making lunches while she was watching the kids,
she said it took her forty five minutes to make
lunches for three kids. And she's like, that's insane, and
she cuts to this is what my kids got. It
was a peanut butter jelly sandwich and an apple that
they threw in a paper sack. And in my experience,
the preschool director that my kids went to, she told me.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
The story one time that she had parents.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Obviously in La area, they're making like homemade from scratch,
non and putting, and they're not even like of Indian descent.
They're making like non and all these things. And all
those kids did was complain. But the kids who just
got cut up apples and a peanut butter jelly sandwich,
they didn't complain about anything, not even in their food,
just anything in general.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Well, the other thing is they know better than to
complain because if they complain, then okay, then you make lunch.
Well I'm not gonna make lunch. I don't know how
to make Okay, well I'm I'm not making lunch anymore.
You don't like it, right, I mean that's that's.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
The My wife is still making lunches for my children
and they're sixteen and thirteen. I'm like, you are not
helping them. These are life skills.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Her in next week. Yeah, she'll make you a lunch.
Oh you want to talk, I don't want to make
a lunch. You want to scare talk to you? Yeah? Absolutely,
scare straight. I'm just going to have a conversation, okay,
whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
But you're really going to get after right, Like you're
going to throw shoes up on a telephone wire or
something something to really send a message, right, want me
to fight your fight for you? No, No, I'm not
saying that, not on public. I'm just saying when the
microphone goes off, that's exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I'll have a list. I'll just email you. No, not
email you, I'll write it and we'll burn it later.
Smart smart, thank you, thank you. Justin warship
Justin Woshem's joined us.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
He is the host of the dad some times parent
children and you have a couple of kids. I do,
and there are I don't even know where to start
except this debate across social media platforms over Shannon Nelson.
Cannon's are always getting us in trouble. She's sixty eight.
She believes that. She said that sometimes packing our kids
(00:27):
these very elaborate lunches or having extensive after school's schedules
is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, she goes after millennial parents.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
She talks a lot. If you want to follow her,
if you're on the TI Talks, you can find her.
Boomer in a bubble is her name, but her handle
is at Pinky nell Nell spelt n is in Nancy
e l. This article kind of lumped everything in the
first thing she the latest video that she posted that
was mentioned in the article is she held up a
sheet that had very extensive instructions that she got from
(00:58):
her child about taking care of her grandchildren over two
and a half days.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
And do you have audios at where you're looking at it?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, So anyway, she was, and I've come across this
a lot. I've even experienced this there was a point
of contention between when my mom would come and help
watch my sons when they were babies and my wife's
mom my wife's mom, like h joking. We used to
store breast milk in the freezer because whenever my wife
was at work so that we could feed one of
the boys, and my mother in law blew through months
(01:30):
worth of supply in a couple days of helping watch
the kids. And my mom was, weirdly enough, obviously had
spent an entire lifetime taking care of children, much more
than my mother in law, And I don't know if
it's because of that or just who she is as
a person, but when she came home, she was like, Okay,
so what's the routine, what are their signals? What do
I need to know? And so we did give her instructions,
but it's not the same it. But even my sibling
(01:51):
and I think the reason why I have this perspective
of like, you can't trust your parents to do right
by your children is because I have older siblings who
would take their kids to is it with my grandparents,
and I would hear them complain, like there's a fun
story about my sister bringing her kids to my parents
and they stayed a week and she asked them, She's like, well,
did you guys take a bath or anything? And the
kids are like, oh yeah, and then she opened up
(02:12):
their suitcase and goes, then, why is this exactly the
way I left it when I dropped you off? And
so my dad would jokingly make sure the first day
any of the kids got there, go okay, tussle all
the clothes in your suitcase.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Dump it out so that then it goes back.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
And then there's like I've my in laws have had
like we don't give them chocolate. It just seems like
such a weird thing to me. The whole point of
grandparents is that things are supposed to be different, and
there's lots of benefits. I've even I didn't think of
bringing it in, but there's tons of research that shows
having a relationships with grandparents as kids where there's just
less rules and less structure, is really good for kids.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But we're talking about justin Warsham about parenting, and specifically
about a grandmother, this boomer grandma that posted this TikTok
video and just basically said, hey, I'm not new to this,
let's cut back on the old five five page instruction
manual for how Grandma takes care of the kids.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
There's a couple comments that she got that I thought
were interesting. This one obviously from a millennial she says,
Boomer masterclass and passive aggression as per usual. And then
another one that I think was a boomer fan of hers, said, well,
you haven't noticed that they are the very first generation
to be qualified to be parents. I'm hoping I'd live
long enough to watch them get their backlash for this
current style of parenting. She herself has said. I think
(03:29):
she said this on She said this on the Today Show.
She talked about the lunches, but also said that she
feels she finds herself biting her tongue a lot and
feels that the next generation is growing up too soft,
which I honestly like. There's lots of benefits I'm sure
to being soft, Like it makes you more emotionally available, vulnerable.
Right again, I have yet to see beyond tolerance, right,
(03:52):
beyond social tolerance. I've yet to see grand civilization advances
in this softness because it comes with a lot of downside.
A lot of people who are struggling with anxiety, depression
and other issues just are easily overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
But I was gonna say, one of the benefits of
having my kids watched by my parents is they get
to see how different I am from my parents. And
I think there's such a there's because they don't understand, right,
I mean, they don't get it, and because I'll talk
(04:30):
about Listen, my parents were weird and I love them
for their quirky My wife would say quirky. I would
say weird and very endearing in a lot of those
quirky qualities that they had. But I had to explain
to my kids, like listen, we never threw food out
like lefto. You wouldn't open the refrigerator and see leftovers
(04:52):
that were there for too.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Long that didn't exist.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
You'd scrape off the gray stuff and heat it back
up and eat it like that. That was the way
I was raised. So it's weird for me to a
throw things away, b get rid of perfectly good food.
And they wouldn't like they didn't. It didn't compute until
they were old enough and conscious of Grandma. Grandma put
(05:16):
the turkey on the dryer for three days, and I
would say, I would just sit there and I go
see I told you. I have told you over and
over again. The dry now my like a food dryer
or the actual clothes dryer.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The clothes dryer. I'm surprised you have to ask you guys,
can't you can't see Gary's face. Gary looked at me,
like the clothes dryer, you idiot? Where else is the
turkey or what was Why was it on a dryer?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
There's not a lot of room in their kitchen. They
would pre cook a turkey for Thanksgiving as the rest
on the dryer, probably on Tuesday and then on Wednesday,
and then they would put it on the dryer and
just cover it in foil, and then when Thursday rolls around,
they just reheat so they don't have to cook it
for six hours or whatever.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
So it's sat at room temperature for more than twenty
four hours.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Again, now, if everybody could see your flast, yes, I
now see the point that you're thinking, Yeah, that's that
is quirky.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I would say that is great though, I love every
bit of it.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And the other thing is there are other instances like
my wife would say that her parents have changed greatly
since since she was.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Oh, yes, that's hard to watch.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
So so what we would be different if they were
in charge of watching our kids. Is because they, you know,
on the ground playing with the kids and like you're
the greatest grandkids ever and we're sitting.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
There like when are you? Where were you when.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
I was a kid when my dad and stepmom got married.
My siblings are nine and eleven years older than me,
and so they obviously had kids. When I was still
a teenager and watching my father be pointed at by
a one and a half year old nephew of mine
and watching him dunk his butt in a lake and
laugh hysterically, I was literally I was like, who the
hell is this guy? Like what is going on here?
It like it hurt my brain and it made me
(06:59):
aker at the time because I was like, this is
the guy who called me dumb and retarded my entire childer, Right,
what is he doing now?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
This is not the man I love. You do not
get that guy.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
But it goes to what we have said many times
is that being aware of your shortcomings are being conscious
of your desire to be a good parent is often
times not the indicator that you're a bad parent, right,
It in fact is the opposite, that you're aware of it.
(07:31):
You know that you have some things that you should
be doing. You're the one who's okay.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
The resounding thing that seems to be coming about in
my head at least, and maybe it's self manifested, is
just that everybody needs to just calm down. I had
an author I'm blinking on his name, but he wrote
a great book called Calm the f Down, where he
would talk to doctors and nurses about all these fears
that new parents have. And it just seems like if
you're giving your parents instructions on how to take care
of your kid, I really I don't know without knowing
(07:58):
your parents, maybe that's unfair. But like, at least for
my parents, like they were definitely different, Like my mom
has a and I think this is awesome for breakfast.
One time they would just give cereal to my kid,
like lucky charms, and my younger son would just eat
the marshmallows and she's like, did you get enough to eat?
And he's like, ah, there wasn't a lot in this one.
He left all the cereals still in there. So my
mom just goes okay, and she grabs a handful of
(08:19):
those mini marshmallows you put in hot cocoa and just
throws them on his plate.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
She goes, well that work. He goes, that'll do, and
he just.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Chout out them and that's the fun, right Like that's
there is a lot that I think can be gained
from that, because that gives credibility to your parents, and
it makes it easier for your parents to impart the
good things that they imparted on you.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
It's not all the bad things.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And I think your kids will pick up on the
not so good things, at least mine have. They know
that where their grandparents are weak in the parenting area,
and they but it's just there's that element where you
don't have to be responsible, and it's there's a lot
of freedom that I think comes with it that's good
for the kids.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
And if I could, if I could foment, if I
could farm a positive relationship between my kids and their grandparents,
I absolutely would. I mean, I wouldn't want them to
feel negative about I don't even like it. I mean again,
my parents were quirky, and I don't know if my
kids were entirely comfortable around them all the time because
of that. Yeah, I mean, my parents would work. That
(09:14):
was what they did for fun. I mean they did
yardwork and stuff for yeahah, and they would ask the
kids to help out. Here's how you hoe a garden,
Here's how you rake leaves.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And when you're pays, you probably look at that and go,
Grandma and grandpa are miserable. But when you're thirty seven
and now you're doing yard work, you're like, oh, and
when you're twenty seven and you have friends who don't
know how to rake leaves exactly because they've never done it.
Like I've literally watched high school kids who don't know
how to use a broom, like they have no clue
their muscle memories, like a, I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They look like toddlers and they're seventeen and they were
falling over we working at room, hurting themselves.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
She also goes into that I think is a great
point as she shows that the Bento box lunch This
was another thing she caught a lot of flak on
her TikTok, is that this modern trend of they have
the lunch boxes that the kids get have these little
compartments and they have like there's Thomas and broccoli and
leftover pizza and so you have a fruit, a veg
my wife asked it, there's something crunchy, there's something sweet,
there's something nutritious, and it's like eighteen options that you're
(10:12):
giving these kids. And the mom is making fun of it.
When grandma was making lunches while she was watching the kids,
she said it took her forty five minutes to make
lunches for three kids. And she's like, that's insane, and
she cuts to this is what my kids got. It
was a peanut butter jelly sandwich and an apple that
they threw in a paper sack. And in my experience,
the preschool director that my kids went to, she told me.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
The story one time that she had parents.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Obviously in La area, they're making like homemade from scratch,
non and putting, and they're not even like of Indian descent.
They're making like non and all these things. And all
those kids did was complain. But the kids who just
got cut up apples and a peanut butter jelly sandwich,
they didn't complain about anything, not even in their food,
just anything in general.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Well, the other thing is they know better than to
complain because if they complain, then okay, then you make lunch.
Well I'm not gonna make lunch. I don't know how
to make Okay, well I'm I'm not making lunch anymore.
You don't like it, right, I mean that's that's.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
The My wife is still making lunches for my children
and they're sixteen and thirteen. I'm like, you are not
helping them. These are life skills.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Her in next week. Yeah, she'll make you a lunch.
Oh you want to talk, I don't want to make
a lunch. You want to scare talk to you? Yeah? Absolutely,
scare straight. I'm just going to have a conversation, okay,
whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
But you're really going to get after right, Like you're
going to throw shoes up on a telephone wire or
something something to really send a message, right, want me
to fight your fight for you? No, No, I'm not
saying that, not on public. I'm just saying when the
microphone goes off, that's exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I'll have a list. I'll just email you. No, not
email you, I'll write it and we'll burn it later.
Smart smart, thank you, thank you. Justin warship
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The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com