The Best of ‘Later, with Mo’Kelly’ – Part Two

ICYMI: Hour Two of ‘Later, with Mo’Kelly’ Presents – A look back at some of your favorite moments with the Later crew, including a debate over ‘backing into a parking spot,’ ‘Speed Racer’s sexual orientation,’ ‘a viral wedding ring story with Tiffany Hobbs,’ AND ‘a discussion about Arbor Day’ - on KFI AM 640…Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You're listening to Later with Moe Kellyon demand from KFI AM six forty.
When I got up this morning,I went in the garage and I have
to pull out my car because Ihad to pull out my trash cans from
the backyard. Long story short,I pulled straight out of my garage.
Why because I backed in previously.Every time I pull in my garage,

(00:24):
I back in. Boo, Iback into my garage. When I park
at work, boo, I backinto my parking space. And a lot
of people wonder, well, isthere a law in California? Are you
allowed to do that? Here's theshort answer. Yes, there's no law

(00:46):
preventing it, but private garages andparking lots they can prohibit it. You
may go to a parking lot andit says head in only as in park
head facing. But if it doesn'thave that song and I'm always backing in,
some people think that's very pretentious.Mark is probably one of those people.
No, it's just irritating, Okay, one of the safe I agree

(01:08):
with Mark. Oh here we go, Yeah, what is happening right now?
Okay? Wait, are you sidingwith him? Tauala? How does
my how does my backing into aparking space impact you negatively. It's irritating
for the person who's got to beriding with you. Does your wife like
this? No, I'm actually gentlemanlyenough to say, hey, babe,

(01:30):
you can go ahead and get outhere, because you know it's irritating.
No, it's no, it's notirritating. Parking heading doesn't have anything to
do with with her getting in orout of the car. It's irritating for
the people in the other cars waitingfor you. It's just irritating. How
is it irritating for other cars?You back in just making up stuff?
Mark? No, because it takeslonger. It takes forever, while everybody

(01:51):
else just wants you to park yourdamn car. Oh so you can't drive
right, that's what we're talking about, because I just one movie and all
the people a park straight in they'reusually like have to do like a three
point turn if they don't cut itsharp enough to get it on the first
try. So what you're saying isthat it would be irritating if you weren't

(02:12):
such an expert at it. No, it's bad even if you're a regular
parker and you want to go inand you're all crooked. Most of the
crooked parkers are people who go headin and can't make that turn and they
just park all angled. That's alsoirritating. That's right, that's actually more
irritating because you're typically taking the morethan one space when you do that.
However, like to Mark's point,at your own place, that's you can

(02:36):
do whatever you want. You're notgetting in anyone's way. But when you're
in a parking lot, you're basicallysaying, I'm the only person here,
stand back, I'm going to backin, and it backs up the line
so much not necessarily, No,I have a counter to that. Have
you ever gone to a parking lot. I'm sure you have. Let's say
it's Target or something like that,and you're waiting for this idiot to slowly

(02:59):
back out of the park space soyou can pull in. And the reason
why they're going so slowly is becausethey're looking over their right shoulder, looking
over the left shoulder, making sureno one's walking behind them, making sure
they have enough space to slowly pullout, and they'll do like a reverse
three point turn pulling out of thatspace, as opposed to driving straight out.
The existence of other irritating things.Doesn't negate your irritating things. It's

(03:23):
actually more irritating because it's like,can't you And you know if you say
that, you're not sitting in yourcar screaming to yourself, Oh my god,
can't you drive? There's no morebehind you? Just pair girl.
It happened too. But then Ihave that same kind of same kind of
reaction when someone decides to back inand there's three cars deep. Well,

(03:44):
look, all I can say isI know how to drive. And if
other people can't drive, that's notnegative towards me, that's negative towards them.
That's their problem. And part ofthe reason I started doing this true
story true story. I saw mysharef friend, he was working for Century
Station back in the day, andI was asking him because not only did

(04:04):
he park his personal car, buthe would use his deputy cruiser sheriff cruiser.
He would always back into whatever andsay, why has that you always
do this? We always got togo at a moment stoneus. We always
have to be ready. That's partof the reason when we leave the engine
running, you know, because wealways got to go or be ready to
go. So you, on theother hand, might need to zoomed to
an in and out or something immediately. Maybe look maybe and mark, you

(04:28):
know, when we've gone downstairs wegot in my car to go to the
movies, it's always back then,why because it's downstairs as dark and I
don't know what's down there. IfI need to get in and take off
and just run down whoever's going tobe in my way for any jacking purposes.
I don't care if it's a parkinglot. I don't care if it's
a movie theater or a gym.I don't care where you are. You
need to be ready to go.If it's good enough for law enforcement,
it's good enough for me. Ifit's a good practice for them, it's

(04:53):
good practice for me. It's allabout safe day across the board. Safe
day, yeah, because that's theother side of it. It, like
to Toula's point, getting mad aboutsomeone taking fevor to back out. Sometimes
you're behind the person that's going toback into the spot, but you turn
into they have to turn and thenback in. It looks like they're going
to go into the other spots,So I'm ready to go around them.

(05:14):
And oh no, no, no, no, no, no, you're
supposed to handle it just like youwould parallel parking, where you put on
your signal. There's what you're supposedto do. Have you ever pulled up
to a parking space on the right, like you're on the street and you
pass it because you're going to backin parallel park you're supposed to put on
your signal. It's the same thingwhen you're going down the lane in a

(05:35):
parking lot, you put on yoursignal so they know that you're going into
that parking space if someone is behindyou. So you think you're like the
navigator in Star Trek whatever the newone is, who can just zip in
and out of asteroids. That's waytoo obscure, barket. Everybody else who's
waiting for you is like Jesus,just park the car. No, no,

(05:55):
no no, Because the people whoare waiting, if they're waiting nine
out of ten of them, probablywe are backing into the space as well.
See, I'm a good middle personbecause I think both sides have a
great argument. Pick a side,Well, I see your side where it's
like it's for me, it's situational. If I'm closer to a door in
an area where it's dark, Iwill and the doors on my left side.

(06:17):
I will park in reverse to makesure that my door is closer to
my entrance or exit, so Icould just get into my car and go.
Or if the opportunity arises and Ican pull in or pull in backwards,
I'll do that. But then Ialso see where I'm impatient, like
pull out or pull into your spotbackwards or forwards, like just park okay,

(06:43):
please, But when I'm parking,it's about me. I'm not if
you had diplomatic plates on your car, because you sound like perhaps you consider
yourself an ambassador. You can't bedelayed. You must when you're ready to
go. You've got to get outthere and get to the next venue.
I'll stop you when you're keep going. No, no, no, no,
this is all for clarification. Buthe just made our point. It's

(07:04):
all about me. But whoever ispulling in head first, they're not actually
taking me into consideration when I haveto wait for them to slowly back their
ass out. Haven't you been sittingthere and site there's no one behind you.
There's no one behind you. Pleasepull out, please. That's the
thing as opposed to the person justdrive straight through. Like I guess it

(07:28):
just negates each other because that's butboth the same irritation. If you're worried
about irritation on the front end orthe back end, that has to do
with the person that's behind you.I'm talking about me as the person who's
parking. I have my own prioritiesthat I'm dealing with, one of which
is in an emergency, I wantto be able to pull straight out.

(07:50):
Also, I don't want to necessarilyhave to look over my shoulder and chance
hitting a pedestrian or a car whichis driving quickly behind. Have you ever
been in a parking lot and someone'sjust zooming down the aisle and you're pulling
out backwards and you almost hit thembecause that person's driving so fast and you
don't see them. I know Ican't be the only one that's happened.

(08:11):
So that's also not absolutely not Whatkind of emergency are you predicting that is
going to happen to youre parking lot. I'm being one hundred serious. Now.
I know we got to go break, but I'm being very serious.
We live in a world where youcan have a mass shooting at any moment.
We live in a world where youmay have to get out of there
or get somewhere else in a moment'snotice. And if it comes down to

(08:33):
me having to leave quickly, damnit. I want to be able to
pull straight out. I think Ijust figured out what it really is.
What is that you're incontinent? Timeto go to the news? Look at
the time. Okay, Okay,Mark Ronner, score one for you.
We've been having fun at your expenseup until now. It's fair that you

(08:56):
got one in. After Mark getsdone with his news break, we'll listen
back to another classic conversation, theone when we figured out that some of
our favorite childhood cartoon and Sesame streetcharacters were all on the verge of coming
out of the closet or something likethat. More of the funny on a

(09:18):
Friday, coming your way, KFILater with mo Kelly. You're listening to
Later with Moe Kelly on demand fromKFI AM sixty. Happy Friday, everyone,
Welcome to the weekend. Do youremember that time when I was telling
you about rewatching one of my favoritechildhood cartoons, but now seeing it through

(09:39):
adult eyes and contemporary society, youknow you notice different things? Well,
I noticed a lot about the characterspeed Racer, and then the conversation just
evolved from there, don't have togo to the theaters to entertain ourselves with

(10:03):
a movie. For example, Iwas in Saturday night just watching speed Racer,
the original cartoon from episode one,watching them all in sequential order.
Ah yeah, I had a ball. It's on crunchy roll, which is
available through Amazon Prime. I wasthoroughly entertained. And I didn't even know
you had a vape pen. Idon't vape. Okay, Mark, you

(10:26):
can watch Breed Racer without being imbued, Okay, whatever you said. No,
No, that's not my thing.I was just sleepy. I guess,
unless you consider like tart cherry gummiesis some sort of mood altering mind
altering. No, not so much. Oh there you go. It's the

(10:48):
best around. Everybody say, hecomes comes speed Racer, the demon on
wheels. He's the demon and he'sgoing to be chasing after someone. He
said demon twice. I don't knowwhy he is. He read what fine

(11:13):
and when they against him in theretoday than your life, speed Racer,
see you get through go speed racecertain street Racer. I'm not even gonna
ask Kenna. I know she hasno idea what this is none. It'll

(11:33):
just depress us, I know.Just say it to a speed racer.
I've heard of it. Oh,I've heard of it. Thank you.
Okay. Let's but when you watchsomething like speed Racer as an adult,
I mean well into your adulthood,and you you look at it through adult
eyes, it looks very different fromwhen I saw it as a child.
Of course, of course, thedialogue is corny, and how they make

(11:56):
speed Racer this super moral good guy. They wrap up everything in thirty minutes.
It's it's really ridiculous on its surface. But then you notice other things.
And this is going to sound reallypolitically incorrect. I'm just gonna put
that out there. But I noticedsome other things. And I've talked about
this before, but I really reallynoticed it now. Speed Racer. He

(12:18):
wears these black shoes, these reallybright red socks, white pants, an
ascot or like a handkerchief night arounda handkerchief, yeah, and mustard gloves.
And he's never kissed Trixie. That'sall I'm saying. That's all I'm
saying. Man, he nailed theoutfit exactly right. That's how well I
know speed race mustard, yellow mustard, yellow pond colored. Yeah, well,

(12:43):
look have you seen Racer X.He's very manly. You think you're
going to be paying attention to Trixywith all that manhood and them tight white
pants that race Rexy has his bigchest, barrel chest. Yes, Racer
EX is a sexy dude, he'sa sick beast. Trixie's irrelevant, but
Trixy the whole. The reason Ibring this up because Trixy throughout Speed Racer

(13:05):
is jealous that speed Racer is notshowing her attention. In the cartoon,
it's always supposedly some other woman thathe's showing attention to, but he's really
really fixated on Racer X and everyother guy in the story. I'm serious.
You go back and look at itthrough adult eyes. It is all

(13:28):
there. I'm waiting for a speedRacer to come out next week about it
wasn't Racer X's brother. Yeah,but he didn't know that. Remember Racer
X in the show, he gotinto a fight with Pop's Racer and he
ran away. In the movie,he supposedly died boilers. Will they tell
you that, like you didn't seethe Wait, I'm sorry, No,
it's not spoiler. It's actually inthe second or third episode they explained the

(13:50):
whole backstory of Rex Racer. Iwas gonna say, he has not a
similar outfit, but he's got thesame like m on his chest and the
letters are different. It's if youknow the original Japanese iteration, it's like
Michi go or something. I can'tremember what it's called. But no speed
Racer. He's he's dealing with somestuff internally. You know, he's trying

(14:13):
to find himself. Tracy no attentionnone, and she is fawning over him.
They should bring the movie back totheaters, you know they're bringing back
like old movies. Yes, yeah, it was. I watched it.
I was telling you twy I watchedthe movie the two thousand and eight movies.
It was way ahead of its time. You had to be a super

(14:33):
speed Racer fan to get all theEaster eggs and appreciate the subtleties in it.
And it's a hard cartoon to adaptto the big screen. But the
Wakowski then Brothers now Sisters did agreat job with it, and I appreciate
the movie now more so than then. Go ahead, Mark, do you
find the monkey chimchim a little bitsuspicious as well. You mean in the

(14:54):
TV show, all of it,the whole scenario, what's what's the monkey?
They never they never explained chim chimexistence. Why anyone would have a
pet chimpanzee and no one around themfinds that odd huge red flag. Michael
Jackson had a chimpanzee and we thoughtit was a red flag. Yeah,
okay, that's the whole straight itwas. It was a focus point for
weirdness. You know, people didn'thave and they dressed up the chimpanzee and

(15:18):
it knew how to drive and talkand communicate. It was all weird.
Yeah. I don't know how totell you this too, all but pointing
out that Michael Jackson did something,it doesn't really exonerate you from weirdness.
So you know, if speed Racer, if you're out there listening, it's
okay, come on out, comeon out. It's different Now. That
was back in nineteen sixty seven.Yeah, who since Charles Nelson Riley wears

(15:41):
a neckerchief there you go. Ithink he was about thirty one. Fred
Flinstone, no Fred from Scooby inthe game. Oh yeah, yes,
Well, well since you're on thesubjects. I think Freddie took the Scooby
van to some bath houses. Okay, Freddie didn't have any interest in Daphne,

(16:03):
and Daphne was fine at frog Legs. Damne had a body on her.
And everybody knew about Velma. Oh, don't sleep on Velma. Come
on, now, Velma knew.Everybody knew, and Velma was out.
She didn't say it, but Velmawas out. I can't believe we're having
this coup. There's nothing more important. We could be talking about. Nothing.
Okay, so speed racer, Velma, fred he's on the lo loo.

(16:27):
Yeah, of course. Ernie andBurt. Nobody's ever disputed that,
Okay, Ernie and Bert? Allright, Look, Lucy and Ricky slept
in separate beds and they were acouple, right yep, Ernie and Bert
got to be at least thirty fiveyears old. Separate beds. I thought

(16:47):
they were in the same bed.No, I don't remember that. Separate
what wait? From watching cartoons tonext weddings. We're going to remind you

(17:10):
of our best advice and best practicesto navigate weddings, navigate wedding rings,
and navigate dead lovers. Yes,Dead Lovers, we have a special best
of edition of the viral Load withTiffany Hobbs. On the other side,
It's Later with mo Kelly on KFI. You're listening to Later with Moe Kelly
on demand from KFI AM six forty. Now it's time My Room Move with

(17:41):
Tiffany Live on Campies Lisa with moo Kelly. She'll talk about the tough
this on social media. From Loadwith Tiffany Hubbs. The first story involves
this. A woman gets married,the marriage ends, the woman meets a

(18:02):
new man. He proposes The womandoesn't like the ring. The woman conveniently
loses the ring and decides that she'sgoing to use her ring from her last
marriage in place of her current engagementring that she's lost and says that she's
gonna wear this ring until her newfiance replaces the ring. New fiance is

(18:26):
understandably pissed at this, but thewoman validates herself by saying that she likes
the ring from the ex husband more. Is she wrong? So you're married,
Mark, I know you're in arelationship. Stephan, I don't know
what the status is for you.Where you guys are at yet? No

(18:47):
pressure But let's say your current wifegirlfriend fiance decides that the ring that you
give her is not good enough,and she has a ring somewhere buried in
the house that you didn't even knowof, that she then accesses and wears,
and she tells you she likes thisring more and she's gonna wear it

(19:07):
until you replace her ring. Whatdo you do? I am the only
one who's qualified to answer this,and I'll tell you why. My wife
this is her second marriage, thisis my first. Okay, so I
can actually talk about it in thereal world sense of if this were to
happen, it's plausible, It's actuallyplausible. There'll be no way in the
freaking world I would ever speak toher again, and that would be the

(19:30):
end of the relationship. And shecould take her funky ass ring and ooh,
ain't no way you've turned to color. If she's gonna take off the
ring that I've given so she canput on the ring of that last mother
father, Oh hells no, Yes, there will be no nuptials, there
will be no marriage, calling thewhole thing off, there's nothing she can

(19:55):
do or say after that. Butshe lost the ring model, and you
can't you can't replace it just yetfor whatever reason, and she has this
beautiful ring. Way she lost thering or she refuses to use it because
it's not good. No, theair quotes lost the ring. She probably
chucked it somewhere because she didn't likeit. One, I question whether you
would have lost it. And thenI questioned your judgment to turn around and

(20:17):
say I lost a ring. Mybad. But in the meantime I'm gonna
put on my old man's ring.No, would you rather her just go
ringless until you can replace it?I'd rather she kiss my ass. And
I'm not exaggerating, Mark, whatdo you think both cheeks? See you
don't like my ring? There's thatone around the bathtub. You'll have to
live with that one. Not avery sympathetic crowd, steph three for three

(20:40):
because that just doesn't seem very gratefulfor something that that, you know,
I think women really appreciate. Butyou know that's me got you so on
the flip side of that, there'sa second story again that involves wedding rings.
Again comes from Reddit. A womanis engaged, her fiance unfortunately dies
in a pedestrian accident. Unfortunate tragedy, right, She moves on. She

(21:02):
starts a new relationship. A yearplus later, she falls in love with
the guy vice versa. Things aregoing well, the guy proposes he gives
her a ring. She says,the ring that she had from the previous
relationship she wears and she won't betaking that ring off, so she's wearing
the ring from the previously deceased fiance. The new fiance presents her with his

(21:26):
ring. There's a problem. Shewon't remove the first ring to wear the
new fiance's ring. But there's adeath involved. Does that change any of
your approaches? Okay? In thisI would have to ask, is the
woman who lost the fiance? Isshe wearing this old ring on the ring
finger? It's on the ring finger. According to the new fiance, that's

(21:47):
a red flag right there, becauseif I meet you, you know the
woman, and you obviously have anengagement ring on. I'm going to first
say so let's say I went there. It's like I wanna say, so,
whose ring are you wearing? Areyou available? She says, I'm
available, But this is my fiancewho passed. It's a real sad story.
I'm moving on. I can't takethe possibility of a relationship seriously,

(22:10):
because number one, she's clearly stillgrieving and still holding on to the memory
of someone. And I'm not goingto say that there is an end date
on grieving. I just know thatthere's no place or space for me in
her life and heart. A bittoo much emotional baggage, absolutely, And
then and that's a physical, constantreminder. And if I were so stupid
to even go further and propose,then I'm just asking for it. I

(22:33):
get whatever I get at that point, because she's already let me know.
She hasn't let go. Yeah,she set it up front. The man
was very upfront about the disclosure ofher you know, declaring that she wouldn't
remove the spring. So it's notlike she hid anything from him or lost
anything. It was stated ahead oftime. And he's still entered into the
relationship. He's a fool. Mark. Does that change the trajectory of your

(22:57):
answer? There is a death,there's a there's bereavement, now you have
a heart. Well, call mea needy monster, but I'm gonna say
I'm I need that attention. Andif you're not finished with the other person,
it ain't time to move on tothe next person. Which is me.
She's finished, he's he's in theground. It's been a year and
a half. She loved the ring, you know, it's it's a memento.

(23:22):
Now, it's not necessarily a connectionto him. He's gone. It's
just something like, I see whatyou're saying, but my mind is going
to like an Edgar Allan Poe ora Tales from the Crypt story more and
I see the guy climbing out ofhis grave and grabbing her by the ring
hand okay, okay, or yourneck you know. Oh no, leave

(23:42):
me out of this. No,it's not me. She's the one who
wants to be with him, Soit's the poetic justice of her getting what
she wishes, good and hard.That's how those stories work. You can't
control undead love. Listen of anybodywho's here tonight. Who's the one who's
the one expert on zombies? Comeon, not to wala. He likes

(24:02):
to profess that he is, buthe's not. I throw my hat into
the ring. I'm pretty much anaficionado. How about the one who wrote
a series of zombie comics. No, no, no, no, no,
it doesn't qualify. No, well, I stand corrected. No,
no, no, no, Istill say the woman needs to be dragged
to her death by the corpse ofher late boyfriend. Oh damn, okay,
let's get dark here. Let meask you this before we get too

(24:25):
dark with it. A third conversationthat's an offshoot of these two is involving
the size of engagement rings. There'ssize does matter. There's a whole conversation
happening online. It's a continuous onewhere rings are shared that are small,
they're very modest, and of coursewe're in the social media age where everyone's

(24:45):
showing what they have and everyone isamplifying what they have, and it amplifies
what you then don't have of courseby contrast. So we talking about rings
here, right, just want tobe clear with women with really and them
and with really small rings are sayingthat, you know, they're trying to
justify the ring size, and they'resaying, it's love, it doesn't matter

(25:08):
the size. And then there arepeople who on the other side are saying
that the smaller the ring, themore minimal the love. What do you
guys think about it? Is thisemotion in the ocean things, emotion in
the ocean thing. It's totally thatthere was too much explaining there. I
think the answer is obvious. Whatif your woman complains about the size of

(25:29):
her We're saying the actions dictate myactions. And if I felt that I
was going to marry someone who wasthat thankless, high maintenance, superficial,
can't deal with it. Sorry,And I think that would have availed itself
somewhere along the dating process. Perhapsit may not have. And let's just

(25:51):
say that this woman who you lovejust really wants something that is more her
standard, more up to her expectationof you, and you're not able to
deliver on that. Does that think? Bye, bye bye? That's it.
I'm at a point in my lifewhere I'm not going to get upset

(26:11):
because some woman does not see meas the one in her mind. Maybe
I don't make enough money, maybeI'm not tall enough, maybe I don't
have a big enough house. Allthose things that I've heard before in life,
those are things that's like whatever,let me just go real male Chauvin's
real quick, Oh please. Iwas someone who got married later in life.

(26:32):
Yes, got married at forty six, and I learned and a guy
friend of mine told me this.As I got older, my street value
my stock market value increased, Andso the women who turned me down in
my twenties were not as how shouldI say this, they weren't as desperate.
Put this way, I came outon top. Yeah, in more

(26:52):
ways than one. Give it tome, thank you, because because the
woman who turned down my twenties allof a sudden realized, oh he does
going on? Yeah, And Ibecame more attractive right as age went on.
So if the woman's worried about thesize of the ring and all kinds
of stuff, kick rocks whatever.Yeah, I'm mister Kelly. You're mister

(27:14):
Kelly, and it's it's again aconsequence of social media. Let me put
out my chest real quick. Don'tforget the dimples, dimples. I got
pecks too, baby pecks. Thepecks and the dimples are poking. I
think those pecks are about a seacup and that sagged either. What's my
name? Say my name? Ithink we're done. I think we're done.

(27:37):
You're listening to Later with Mo Kellyon demand from KFI AM six forty.
You know what, I really don'tremember how we got there. I
don't remember how we finally got tothe subject of arbor day KF. I
am six forty. It's later withMo Kelly. But I do remember that

(27:59):
I hate arbor Day no matter howor when it is brought up, because
it brings up really bad memories forme. In truth, it greatly shaped
the person I am today. Infact, here's the backstory, just in
case you haven't heard it, onwhy I hate arbor Day. I know
arbor Day. Who possibly could hatearbor Day? Who this guy? Whimmo

(28:26):
Kelly. We were all over theplace talking about this, that and the
other, and somehow Mark Ronner madethis arbor Day reference. It was very
disrespectful. I apologize. I wouldnever want to disrespect the US. It's
sound the show. It sounds semiinsincere, you know, as opposed to
fully insincere. Anyhow, we hadthis, you know, off the beaten

(28:51):
path, discussion of arbor Day,and I actually thought Mark was being specific
because arbor Day is very in thehistory of my life in a bad way.
And I was resetting the story.I told this when I was speaking
at El Camino, and for peoplewho weren't there, I'll reset it again
arbor Day. And this had tohave been nineteen eighty because eighty one nineteen

(29:15):
eighty one. Because I was insixth grade. My social studies teacher Kletus
Nessl Road. That was his realname. I am so using that name
in a story. Kletis Nestle Road. We called him Nestle Toad. He
came up to me, and thiswas like around first period and said,
Morris, would you recite the poemTrees by Joyce Kilmer because this is a

(29:41):
Cali Mayor Middle School in Torrance,because the school was planting a tree in
observance of Arbor Day. I wasa kid. I was eleven at that
point, and as a student kid, you try to please adults, please
teachers. And I said sure.I was honored to be asked in some
silly sort of way. Then Iand this is on me, this is

(30:06):
my mistake, because I remember Iasked, am I to memorize it?
Now, any sensible adult would havesaid, no, you don't have to
memorize it. I'm asking you literallythree and a half hours before the assembly,
which was going to be at lunch. So I assumeh I was around
twelve fifteen, so the whole schoolwas going to be out there for this

(30:26):
Arbor Day ceremony. So I askedme. He said, yes, You're
supposed to memorize it, and Isaid, oh, shoot. So I
had three periods where I'm actually inclass, three or four periods when I'm
in class trying to quietly memorize hispoem and also participate in class, where
any reasonable person's like, no,you don't have to memorize it. You
have to go to class and doother stuff. But kleins nessa Road said

(30:49):
yes, you have to memorize it. And my father was there as a
teacher. He was the band teacherat Caliber Middle School. Come out to
the assembly. I will never forgetthis. I started reciting it, and
to this day, I never wantedto relearn the poem. I refuse to.
I hate everything about Arbor Day.You've got Arbor Day PTSD. I
do, I do. I admitthat I started reciting the poem and I

(31:14):
did well. I think through thefirst stanza, and if you know anything
about public speaking, you can loseyour place if you don't focus. And
I remember I locked eyes with someonein the audience, a classmate or schoolmate,
and then I just forgot. Ijust completely went blank. And I
had a microphone, and I rememberI said something like, oh my god,

(31:34):
and it got it was picked upby the microphone the way I remember
it was. Everyone started laughing,you know, profusely. It was super
hilarious. I was embarrassing myself infront of the whole school and my dad,
who was there watching, and hedidn't make a sound or a face.
It's like, look, don't embarrassme. Do what you need to
do. Finish the freaking poem.That's how he was, you know,

(31:56):
he was supportive, but he wasn'tgonna come save me. I hope you
were smart enough to wear dark coloredpants. I didn't have to worry about
defecation or urination. No, Ididn't. And I finished it, and
I felt horrible. There are fewthings that I fear. I don't know
if that's the right word. Tryto avoid being embarrassed is always at the

(32:20):
top of the list. And Ithink embarrassment has to do with not being
prepared. So you'd never hear meon this show or anything I do radio
TV wise. Without being prepared,I will over prepare. And we can
trace this all back to Arbor Day. It is absolutely one hundred percent connected.
As your unofficial on air therapist.I feel sort of bad that I

(32:43):
raised this issue. No, no, no, no, It's a part
of my story. It's a partof who I am now, why I
am the way I am now,it's why I do come in three to
four hours before my show. Idon't wing it. I'm not just here
just oh, let me just lookat the story and start talking. No,
I'm actually reviewing and making sure Ihave as many facts together and have
a modicum of knowledge, and thenI offer an opinion. I'm not trying

(33:07):
to fly by the seat of mypants. Now. There's some stories and
stuff that I can do without anyreal prep talk about maybe the Rock and
Roll Hall of Fame nominees. That'sstuff I don't need to prepare for.
You tell me the group, Ican just go. But that's that's limited.
But if we're talking about news orpolitics or some of the nuances of
entertainment, I want to make sureI know my stuff. All goes back

(33:29):
to Arbor day. Look at thecan of worms I open. But I'm
much better now, I can tellYeah, I'm much better. Yea.
I seem mentally healthy about out ofthis. No, seriously, seriously,
but I think formed who I was, and I think I've benefited because of

(33:49):
it. But I think we allhave those moments in life we can reflect
on, Oh, that's the reasonI am the way I am today because
of X Y or Z. Hethat person, that moment, that tea
sure, that situation. Whatever.You can say whatever you want about me,
but you'll never call me unprepared.It reminds me. I think it
was the Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, the Steve Martin movie, where the

(34:10):
phrase cleaning lady instantly drove him outof his mind. So I'm gonna I'm
gonna watch myself and try not tosay Arbor day around you ever. Again.
It wasn't like, you know,it's an emotional land mine or anything.
It's just it was just interesting becauseyou came to El Camino and you
I thought would have remembered that story. So I thought you every word,

(34:30):
every word okay etched into my cretisnestl Road. I swear to God,
I need names for something I'm workingon right now, and I'm going to
use that name absolutely. That washis name. I don't know where he's
from. All I know is hewas gonna be my question because I don't
know, I don't know where he'sfrom. I never you ever exact your

(34:50):
revenge against Kletis Nesseil Road. No, because I never saw him again after
I went to high school. Wentto high school in the eighty three eighty
four year, and I never wentI went back to my middle school to
say hello to people every now andthen, and then there are teachers that
I like. But I don't thinkI ever saw him again. So you
probably that was way before you couldkind of cyberstalk somebody from the old days.

(35:15):
Well, I'm quite truckled. Lookat I know he's dead now,
I just I don't know. Ofcourse, everybody when you taught you in
school is dead now. Well,yeah he was old. Then I want
to say he was in his fiftiesor sixties. Then Oh wow, so
he was at least forty five fiftyyears older than me, no accent.
I don't think he was from theSouth. I really don't know where he's
from. But the name Cletus nesselRoad just can't forget that. Yeah,

(35:37):
it just I know people are googlingright now just to let me know,
so to let me know. Yeah, sure, I don't know what happened
to him. I don't know wherehe's from. I just know that he
died because on the remembrance page ofCali Mayer, they said, oh do
you remember mister nessa da da dada dah. And I had nothing nice
to say, so I just kepton scrolling. In other words, you're
happy that he's dead. No,I'm not happy. I just don't feel

(36:00):
thing, kind of like Valentine's Day. I'm apathetic. In other words,
you're overjoyed that he's dead. No, he was someone's father, someone's son,
someone's brother. I don't have illwill like that. I'm just saying
that he was not my favorite teacher. I got you, that's all.
Yeah. Sure, and he Idon't know what a Confederate flag smells like,
but he smelled like a Confederate flag. I'm guessing, okay, probably

(36:22):
not a great smell. I'm guessing. All right. It's Later with mo
Kelly on KFI. We're live everywhereon the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to
Later with Moe Kelly on demand fromKFI AM six forty