May 23, 2024 • 24 mins
Nearly 1/3 of LAPD shootings since 2017 involved a person in a mental health crisis. Missouri woman came to Los Angeles with her children looking for fame and fortune… we all witnessed her driving the wrong way on the 405 freeway evading police and finally (bloodied face) was arrested. What human composting is really like for the dead and their loved ones.
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(00:00):
You're listening to bill Handle on demandfrom KFI AM six forty. You are
listening to the bill Handle shows oneand kf I AM six forty Bill Handle
here on a Thursday morning, Maytwenty three. A couple of stories.
(00:23):
We are looking at President Trump.Former President Trump is claiming that President Biden
authorized the Department of Justice, throughthe FBI to assassinate former President Trump.
Great story, sure, why not? And well, in a Biden administration
story, he has now announced anadditional seven point seven billion dollars in student
(00:47):
debt relief for another one hundred andsixty thousand Americans who have student debt.
So pretty soon nobody's going to havestudent dat and the taxpayer is going to
be left holding the proverbial sack.And it's come on, guys, come
on, Biden cheap political and maybenot, I mean he believes that,
but still look at the timing andI check it out, and there'll be
(01:10):
more debt relief before the election.Now, a story just came out.
This is actually based on the LAPDAnnual Use of Force Report. This is
the LAPD's own report and the numberof shootings by LA police involving people that
the cops thought were living with mentalillness or experience in mental health crisis climb
(01:34):
thirty one percent over the last fewyears from twenty seventeen to twenty twenty three.
And so therein lies a problem becauseof third of the people that the
cops shot, not shot at,shot and either killed or wounded is up.
(01:55):
Doesn't that prove that in fact,police have to be trained more in
terms of de escalation, dealt morewith mental illness. We need more programs
where the police come out with mentalhealth workers to deal with it. And
clearly there is a problem here isthe fundamental flaw with these stats. Even
(02:19):
if a person is mentally ill andthe cops know the person is mentally ill,
and if they're a threat, youstill shoot him. Does it matter
if they're mentally ill or not.If they're attacking a police officer with a
knife, for example, and youknow he's mentally ill, someone is ranting
(02:42):
and raving and said the devil mademe do it and is attacking a cop.
A cop brings him down, Well, you shouldn't have because you should
have known he was mentally ill.Now, recognizing people are mentally ill and
training cops, which they're doing bythe way, and bringing in mental health
experts if possible. Whenever there isa situation like that, I'm all for.
(03:05):
And interesting enough, those people thatbelieve in mental health's mental health experts
being brought in and believe in thesocial aspect of it are the first one
to say, we have to defundthe police. We don't want to spend
money on the police. Let's cutthe police budget, thank you very much.
You know how you bring in mentalhealth experts, You train them and
you bring them in, and youknow what they have to do. You
know, they go to the storeand when they buy corn flakes, they
(03:29):
have to pay for those corn flakes. You can't tell the clerk. Gee,
I'm a mental health expert and Iwork with a mentally ill during police
confrontations. God, it's tough.They have to get paid. And how
do they get paid if they workfor the county or the LAPD, they
get paid with tax dollars. Andthat means that more money has to be
spent with the cops or for thecops. So they're leaving this out now,
(03:53):
are they dealing with it? Yeah? And more and more. Here's
a stat which isn't brought up verymuch. There is a program the city's
Police Commission that was involved Smart whichhas nineteen clinicians dealing with these situations,
nineteen clinicians, mental health experts,and the former police chief Michael Moore said,
(04:16):
we need at least thirty. Wecan't deal with nineteen thirty to do
it well or to do it adequately. By the way, that's more money,
God forbid. And so you know, there are training and by the
way, the majority of cops havebeen changed, have been trained to some
extent. But it's one of thosethings where you have to keep on training.
(04:38):
You can't just do a one offduring the police Academy or take a
course later on in de escalation.It's one of those annuals that you have
to train, like going to thegun range. You know, in order
to keep your skill level, youhave to go to the range and just
practice same thing here. But it'sa new kind of policing. But again,
you know, let's talk about outand there's always outliers. By the
(05:01):
way, I'm not arguing there's alwayspeople who are shot that should not be
shot. There are cops that losecontrol. There are cops that lose control
and they're justified in losing control whereanother cop right next to this one who
did the shooting would not have usedbullets, would have used tasers. And
they're doing stuff. They're using thisbolo thing. They're trying new less than
(05:25):
lethal ways of dealing with people.Taser guns that are now you can shoot
at a greater distance to put peopledown. You ever seen anybody hit with
a taser? Man, it's funto watch. They hit the ground,
They're doing the funky Chicken. They'reflopping around like a fish fairy entertaining.
I've been hit with a taser more. Oh isn't that fun? Did you
(05:46):
look terrific doing it? I tightenedup. I made a fist actually,
which doesn't help the situation. Thesphincter went very tight. Oh yeah,
it was waterproof like a duck.Okay. Now, the other day,
when was this Amy is running around? Probably the bathroom. What day was
(06:09):
this when we were watching? Wasit Monday? We were watching this chase
on the freeway started in Venice,ended up on the four h five freeway
and this was live, and youknow, we watch it here on the
monitors, and it got better andbetter and better. And as we were
watching whoa, this is a goodone. Usually a slow The slow speed
(06:32):
chases are just incredibly boring. Theonly one who gets excited about those is
Convay five days ago. Yeah,you know, Conway. Will you know
if it's a twelve hour chase,Conway will cover it for twelve hours.
He's the only one I know thatcan actually cover a so slow speed chase
and make it interesting. Oh comeon, we covered it on wake Up
Call. It was fascinating, itwas, But you didn't cover it for
(06:54):
twelve hours. No, because itfor about five minutes. Yeah, that's
my point. Okay, okay.And so we're watching this crazy ass chase
where we knew it was a womanwho took the van and it started in
Venice. The cops were responding toa call about a crazy person. So
she jumps in the van, hitsa bunch of police cars and just takes
(07:16):
off, gets on the four orfive freeway, is driving up, averting
the police, hitting cars, stoppingand then backing up and moving on.
She evaded the police a lot.It was kind of interesting. And then
she turned around and went the wrongway, and it said there's going to
be a head on and there was, but thank goodness, no one was
killed. But it turns out thatno surprise, completely totally backcrap. Gee,
(07:43):
I wish I could say, youknow, the all those words,
and I can't. Yeah, doesn'tthat sound great? Bat Guano? Yeah,
come on. This is why I'mdoing a podcast. This is why
I'm moving to a I'm not movingtoo, but I'm going to do a
podcast in addition to this show,which we're gonna by the way, we're
going to roll out in the nextcouple of weeks. Do we have a
(08:05):
time yet, Lindsey when we dothis? She she did, She's in,
she's in the studio. She knowsyou too well. She just goes,
Honey, I'm not dragging my feet. Yeah, that's on you.
So yeah, yeah, in anycase, So I was going to roll
out in a couple of weeks,but oh did I digress? Yes?
(08:26):
I did. So. This womanLisa Ann Hefflin out of Missouri, completely
crazy, completely out of her mind. She's the mother of four. She
documents a lot of this on Facebookx TikTok made it to Los Angeles,
her kids elementary school, the teenageage, and she writes in her TikTok
(08:48):
bio chasing my dreams as a Californiadreamer. And she is well if you
look at her picture now, herpicture on social media is just a normal
looking person, you know, notunattractive, normal looking. If you looked
at her, if we saw her, which we did, being uh,
surrounded by cops on the hood ofher car, I mean this was crazy
(09:11):
making. I mean, eyes bulging, face completely red. She must have
bashed her head, her face werefilled with blood her yeah, I mean
all of it were the size ofdime, I know. And she had
wrote written dozens of messages in theweeks before, matter of fact, in
the day before leading up to thisthing, links to music videos eminem two
(09:35):
pack, ice Cube Snoop Dogg.Yeah, I know, Tupac six pack.
Yeah, it's all the same tome. I would like that one
just because it's fun. Yeah,yeah, got fifty cents. Yeah what
two packs? Yeah, I know, I know hwing, I know mal
(09:56):
Dollar signs, I get that deadmouth okay. And some of the stuff
she wrote is I got news foryou that road. You don't follow the
laws of jaywalking, parene illegal mightbe the death of you. Do not
come speak to me for any reason. I mean, just completely just nuts,
(10:16):
spoke of being persecuted, argued onher social about music on the radio,
content, comments about attempted murder onthe road, accused unnamed people are
doing terrible things to get close,get closer to celebrities. And then the
final question, the one that reallytalked about how nuts she is. Do
(10:39):
you like my van? Well?I like that at the end of all
of this, do you like myvan? And so the interview from the
La Times. Are people living invan? She was living in her van
next to her other van. Yeah, a van occupiers. I think they're
(11:03):
a dweller at that point, okay, you have she's or a trespasser or
whatever, and she is. Shewas noted of just being out of her
mind, ranting up and down tothe point where they called the cops.
Then she took video part of thepre video from someone in e Ventice or
wherever they're shooting at. People arescreaming at her to be quiet. She's
(11:26):
playing music or something. The cops. That's when the cops show up.
But I think it was LA magmagazine that posted it. But I saw
the pre video before the start ofthe chase, and she was already out
of her mind. So so whatis what is important about this? Well,
(11:46):
first of all, it says alot about southern California and the freeways
and the comment about how crazy peopleare. But people like this make this
show worthwhile. This makes entertainment witha capital E. I don't have to
think. I just watch, justlike the rest of us. We do
(12:09):
that on your last day. AndI'm going to make a call right now
for people that are listening to theradio. Please please, if you're thinking
of doing this, please do it, and just do it during our show.
That's all I ask. Just takea company van on your last day.
I don't you make the decision whenthat day is and you go,
today's the day, get in thevan and go down the freeways of Los
(12:31):
Angeles. I'm already outlining my lastshow here on KFI. I have the
outline ready to go, and Iwould be fired instantly if I weren't leaving
that day. Don't know when itis, but it's let me put it
this way. You think crazy,You have no idea. Okay, I
(12:54):
want to get right to it becausethis is a story about death, and
you know I love to talk aboutdeath and dead people and burial and that's
just me, all right, twentytwenty seven, in California, we're going
to be able to bury people andhave them decompose, not in normal burial
plots, not at cemeteries. Thereare going to be cemeteries. But it's
(13:18):
basically human composting, and that isnow not just the thing. It's going
like crazy. Story in the LaTimes about this woman, Blair von Falkenberg,
and she and her husband lived upin Orches Island, Washington. He
got to pancray out of cancer,came down to their Calabasas home where he
(13:39):
died. Now, keep in mind, you can't do human composting as a
burial in California until twenty twenty seven, So she went ahead and took his
body up to Oregon, where itis legal. First date to legalize human
composting in twenty twenty. Now,when I talk about human composting, that's
not just sort of a a anacronym, or it's not just a name.
(14:03):
It's not a euphemism. It ishuman composting. Yes, stick someone
in a composting pile, much likeyou compost at home, and they will
decompose into organic matter. Hmm,doesn't that sound like fun your loved ones
(14:24):
decomposing. But I'll tell you thereis a method to this madness, and
it may not be madness either,because you compare it to what we actually
do, which is even crazier.All right, Now, look at the
history of American burials, right,it's changed over the last centuries. People
just took care of their own.I love the Irish way of doing it.
You throw a coffin up on twosawhorses in a living room, open
(14:46):
casket, and everybody gets screaming,drunk, singing Danny Boy all night long.
That's the way you do it.Jews, you don't have the body
sitting in there. But what doyou do? You go to the funeral
and everybody comes home when they eatlike pigs. Right, just okay,
we bury him. Let's eat alot of go veilta fish. Well that's
(15:07):
not true, but a lot oflocks and bagels. And so we now
go from that to very expensive,very elaborate funerals. Embal being embalming concrete
lead graveliners. By the way,that's not necessarily the law, but it
is certain cases. The way thoseconcrete boxes they put the coffins in is
(15:28):
to keep the soil from just collapsing. That's why they just don't want dense
in the soil so it holds upthe ground. And because it is so
damn expensive to bury people, becausepeople are nuts. You go to a
funeral home, first of all,they grab you at your most funeral when
(15:48):
you just lost your mom, youjust lost an aunt and uncle, parent,
and god forbid, you've lost yourchild. The world should not be
that parents bury their children. That'sjust simply not the way it should be.
You should bury your parents, youshould bury your grandparents. That's the
natural cycle, all right. Soyou go there and they're you're totally vulnerable,
and they start saying, here's atwelve thousand dollars casket. Wow,
(16:11):
that's a lot of money, Butdon't you want to honor your mother?
And the more you spend, themore you're honoring your parents. That's a
croc What twelve thousand dollars casket?You're just then throwing in the ground,
you know, and you're good forIt's like buying a two million dollar house
that you're going to live in fora week and then you move out and
you go back to your tent.But you spend the money if you have
it or you borrow it. Imean, it's just it's insanity. Doesn't
(16:33):
mean that's why Jews. It makesall of sense. You throw them in
a pine box and you throw themin the ground and you're done. And
by the way, when my bothmom and dad died, I go to
the funeral home and they try toconvince me to buy a more expensive casket,
and I went for the cheapest one. You know, it's a pine
box, that's it. Not eventhey don't even do the rectangle part of
(16:55):
it like they do in Europe.You know, there's no lining, there's
none of that crap pine box,you're dead. I remember going to the
funeral home when my dad died andactually you screaming at them, arguing,
negotiating. It's like, I'm notgonna pay that much money for a box.
This is thirty dollars worth of pineand now hour and a half of
work to put this together. Youget to charge me eleven hundred dollars?
Are you guys out of your mind? So I threatened to go to Costco
(17:19):
and which sells, which sells caskets, by the way, and they sell
that pine box for eleven the samesame box for five hundred and fifty bucks,
which is still overpriced. I threatenedto go there and have it delivered,
and they said, okay, we'llmax the price. By the way,
always negotiate with funeral homes always,because I saw it and my family
(17:41):
thought I was nuts because it's justway too much money. With my dad,
I got pissed because of that wholeoh to honor and I said,
so you're telling me I love myfather less if we buy something more economical.
Yeah. Yes, the answer hatedthat whole process. It's not that
they're trying to defraud you. Theyjust genuinely believe the more you spend.
(18:02):
So I remember saying the more manwho used to screen screen for me years
and years ago, and I firedhim. And before I fired him,
I sat down. He was Mormon. I sat down and said, you
know you give ten percent to thechurch. He goes absolutely. And I
said, by the way, Iwas always curious about this, is this
gross ten percent of your gross orten percent of your net? And the
(18:26):
answer was, it depends on whetheryou want gross blessings from God or net
gressing blessings from God. Wow.Boy, that wrapped that one up,
didn't it. Yes, the moreyou spend, the happier you are.
The heavenly CPA is up there becounting, all right. So again digress
(18:48):
a touch. This has to dowith burying people. And I've always complained
and talked negatively about the way wedo death in this country. We don't
do it well. And it's changedcompletely. One hundred years ago, well,
prior to the Civil War, embalmingdidn't exist. So you know,
in the South it's hot, youhad to bury people pretty quickly, and
we used to just do it athome and make caskets. And then the
(19:11):
mortuary industry was born, and thenyou have the ornate caskets and the services,
and it got so hideously expensive thatyou have poor people that spend twelve
fifteen thousand dollars and they can't affordit to bury somebody. And these ten
thousand dollars caskets that you throw inthe ground, which make no sense.
(19:32):
Well, cremation, and I rememberwhen cremation the Neptune Society started. I
mean, it was horrible, andof course the mortuary industry fought it like
crazy, let's make it illegal.Well, now sixty one percent of burials
are not burials. They people arecremated, which happens to be an environmental
nightmare by the way, requiring hugeamounts of energy natural gas to incinerate bodies
(19:56):
for hours and hours at zillions ofBTUs. Also, so much carbon dioxide
is put off that the South CoastAir Quality Management District limits the number of
cremations that could be done every monthin southern California. Isn't that crazy?
(20:17):
It suspended that in twenty twenty onebecause so many people were dying of COVID
that it took off the caps.Now, composting pioneer Katrina Spade, I'll
tell you about wrote the last gesturemost of us will make on this Earth
as toxic. That makes sense,especially if you cremate. So what do
you do? Woo, you dohuman composting, going back to Earth,
(20:41):
making a final act meaningful and literallyput them in a composting pile. Now
it's high end stuff. I mean, these are containers that are loaded with
naturals, dirt and hay and eggshellsand banana peels and whatever the hell you
put in a composting pile ale Andthen you have a very sophisticated HVAC system
(21:03):
that keeps it at one hundred andthirty degrees because that's the magic number for
decomposing things. And thirty to sixtydays later you have a bunch of dirt
that you plant things in. Youknow, you plant an olive tree because
that's peace or whatever the hell you'regonna do, you know, I don't
know. And in Washington, thisis the only state right now where it's
(21:27):
legal. This is where this womanwas, Katrina Spade. She started this
whole movement, and what she didoriginally is develop a sort of almost a
large towers what it was, andloved ones would take their bodies up on
a ramp to the top and thenit would slowly circularly go down until the
(21:51):
bottom it was decomposed. However,Carvana threatened to sue them, so she
gave that up. That didn't work, so instead, eventually they came up
with the cylinders. You put deadpeople in with a compost material and you
walk out with this dirt, abouttwo hundred and fifty pounds worth of dirt,
by the way, because not onlyis it a person, it's also
(22:15):
all the stuff that you do.And you know, these there are three
of these mortuaries in Washington. Thenumber the biggest number of clients are out
of state, particularly California. Whyis it because it costs so much less
and more importantly, it is soorganic and you return to the earth.
(22:37):
And actually, you know, ina way it makes sense. I mean,
just you have to bring the bodythere. Obviously, you have to
transport the body to Washington unless youare bringing three or more bodies than they'll
pay for the shipping. This absolutelyworks. Am I gonna do it?
(22:57):
I don't know. I already havea play. You know, it's one
of them. I'm a traditionalist pineBox. I'll tell you that big party
afterwards, lots of food, lotsand lots of food, and everybody does
it differently, just just the wholesystem of burial, and we just are
(23:18):
just horrible about it. And themortuary industry is trying to stop. As
a matter of fact, the woman, the assembly woman who kick this in
has been trying four years. Andyou know why it's going in twenty twenty
seven and not now because the mortuaryindustry convinced the legislature there was a compromise.
We need more time to really studythis. Really, the mortuary industry
(23:41):
needs more time. Ye what they'regonna do is they're gonna buy land and
get into this business. Like mortuariesnow have cremation, which is the biggest
part of their business. And whatis hilarious about that is you have these
plots of land, you know,six by nine that costs thousands of dollars.
So what they do is they buildthese buildings and you have these little
(24:03):
boxes like safe deposit boxes that theyput your ashes in that you park up
there or on the mantle at home, whatever you do, and those cost
thousands of dollars. It's a goodbusiness, it really is. All Right,
we're done. KFI AM six fortylive everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You've been listening to the Bill HandleShow. Catch my show Monday through Friday
(24:26):
six am to nine am, andanytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
You're listening to bill Handle on demandfrom KFI AM six forty. You are
listening to the bill Handle shows oneand kf I AM six forty Bill Handle
here on a Thursday morning, Maytwenty three. A couple of stories.
(00:23):
We are looking at President Trump.Former President Trump is claiming that President Biden
authorized the Department of Justice, throughthe FBI to assassinate former President Trump.
Great story, sure, why not? And well, in a Biden administration
story, he has now announced anadditional seven point seven billion dollars in student
(00:47):
debt relief for another one hundred andsixty thousand Americans who have student debt.
So pretty soon nobody's going to havestudent dat and the taxpayer is going to
be left holding the proverbial sack.And it's come on, guys, come
on, Biden cheap political and maybenot, I mean he believes that,
but still look at the timing andI check it out, and there'll be
(01:10):
more debt relief before the election.Now, a story just came out.
This is actually based on the LAPDAnnual Use of Force Report. This is
the LAPD's own report and the numberof shootings by LA police involving people that
the cops thought were living with mentalillness or experience in mental health crisis climb
(01:34):
thirty one percent over the last fewyears from twenty seventeen to twenty twenty three.
And so therein lies a problem becauseof third of the people that the
cops shot, not shot at,shot and either killed or wounded is up.
(01:55):
Doesn't that prove that in fact,police have to be trained more in
terms of de escalation, dealt morewith mental illness. We need more programs
where the police come out with mentalhealth workers to deal with it. And
clearly there is a problem here isthe fundamental flaw with these stats. Even
(02:19):
if a person is mentally ill andthe cops know the person is mentally ill,
and if they're a threat, youstill shoot him. Does it matter
if they're mentally ill or not.If they're attacking a police officer with a
knife, for example, and youknow he's mentally ill, someone is ranting
(02:42):
and raving and said the devil mademe do it and is attacking a cop.
A cop brings him down, Well, you shouldn't have because you should
have known he was mentally ill.Now, recognizing people are mentally ill and
training cops, which they're doing bythe way, and bringing in mental health
experts if possible. Whenever there isa situation like that, I'm all for.
(03:05):
And interesting enough, those people thatbelieve in mental health's mental health experts
being brought in and believe in thesocial aspect of it are the first one
to say, we have to defundthe police. We don't want to spend
money on the police. Let's cutthe police budget, thank you very much.
You know how you bring in mentalhealth experts, You train them and
you bring them in, and youknow what they have to do. You
know, they go to the storeand when they buy corn flakes, they
(03:29):
have to pay for those corn flakes. You can't tell the clerk. Gee,
I'm a mental health expert and Iwork with a mentally ill during police
confrontations. God, it's tough.They have to get paid. And how
do they get paid if they workfor the county or the LAPD, they
get paid with tax dollars. Andthat means that more money has to be
spent with the cops or for thecops. So they're leaving this out now,
(03:53):
are they dealing with it? Yeah? And more and more. Here's
a stat which isn't brought up verymuch. There is a program the city's
Police Commission that was involved Smart whichhas nineteen clinicians dealing with these situations,
nineteen clinicians, mental health experts,and the former police chief Michael Moore said,
(04:16):
we need at least thirty. Wecan't deal with nineteen thirty to do
it well or to do it adequately. By the way, that's more money,
God forbid. And so you know, there are training and by the
way, the majority of cops havebeen changed, have been trained to some
extent. But it's one of thosethings where you have to keep on training.
(04:38):
You can't just do a one offduring the police Academy or take a
course later on in de escalation.It's one of those annuals that you have
to train, like going to thegun range. You know, in order
to keep your skill level, youhave to go to the range and just
practice same thing here. But it'sa new kind of policing. But again,
you know, let's talk about outand there's always outliers. By the
(05:01):
way, I'm not arguing there's alwayspeople who are shot that should not be
shot. There are cops that losecontrol. There are cops that lose control
and they're justified in losing control whereanother cop right next to this one who
did the shooting would not have usedbullets, would have used tasers. And
they're doing stuff. They're using thisbolo thing. They're trying new less than
(05:25):
lethal ways of dealing with people.Taser guns that are now you can shoot
at a greater distance to put peopledown. You ever seen anybody hit with
a taser? Man, it's funto watch. They hit the ground,
They're doing the funky Chicken. They'reflopping around like a fish fairy entertaining.
I've been hit with a taser more. Oh isn't that fun? Did you
(05:46):
look terrific doing it? I tightenedup. I made a fist actually,
which doesn't help the situation. Thesphincter went very tight. Oh yeah,
it was waterproof like a duck.Okay. Now, the other day,
when was this Amy is running around? Probably the bathroom. What day was
(06:09):
this when we were watching? Wasit Monday? We were watching this chase
on the freeway started in Venice,ended up on the four h five freeway
and this was live, and youknow, we watch it here on the
monitors, and it got better andbetter and better. And as we were
watching whoa, this is a goodone. Usually a slow The slow speed
(06:32):
chases are just incredibly boring. Theonly one who gets excited about those is
Convay five days ago. Yeah,you know, Conway. Will you know
if it's a twelve hour chase,Conway will cover it for twelve hours.
He's the only one I know thatcan actually cover a so slow speed chase
and make it interesting. Oh comeon, we covered it on wake Up
Call. It was fascinating, itwas, But you didn't cover it for
(06:54):
twelve hours. No, because itfor about five minutes. Yeah, that's
my point. Okay, okay.And so we're watching this crazy ass chase
where we knew it was a womanwho took the van and it started in
Venice. The cops were responding toa call about a crazy person. So
she jumps in the van, hitsa bunch of police cars and just takes
(07:16):
off, gets on the four orfive freeway, is driving up, averting
the police, hitting cars, stoppingand then backing up and moving on.
She evaded the police a lot.It was kind of interesting. And then
she turned around and went the wrongway, and it said there's going to
be a head on and there was, but thank goodness, no one was
killed. But it turns out thatno surprise, completely totally backcrap. Gee,
(07:43):
I wish I could say, youknow, the all those words,
and I can't. Yeah, doesn'tthat sound great? Bat Guano? Yeah,
come on. This is why I'mdoing a podcast. This is why
I'm moving to a I'm not movingtoo, but I'm going to do a
podcast in addition to this show,which we're gonna by the way, we're
going to roll out in the nextcouple of weeks. Do we have a
(08:05):
time yet, Lindsey when we dothis? She she did, She's in,
she's in the studio. She knowsyou too well. She just goes,
Honey, I'm not dragging my feet. Yeah, that's on you.
So yeah, yeah, in anycase, So I was going to roll
out in a couple of weeks,but oh did I digress? Yes?
(08:26):
I did. So. This womanLisa Ann Hefflin out of Missouri, completely
crazy, completely out of her mind. She's the mother of four. She
documents a lot of this on Facebookx TikTok made it to Los Angeles,
her kids elementary school, the teenageage, and she writes in her TikTok
(08:48):
bio chasing my dreams as a Californiadreamer. And she is well if you
look at her picture now, herpicture on social media is just a normal
looking person, you know, notunattractive, normal looking. If you looked
at her, if we saw her, which we did, being uh,
surrounded by cops on the hood ofher car, I mean this was crazy
(09:11):
making. I mean, eyes bulging, face completely red. She must have
bashed her head, her face werefilled with blood her yeah, I mean
all of it were the size ofdime, I know. And she had
wrote written dozens of messages in theweeks before, matter of fact, in
the day before leading up to thisthing, links to music videos eminem two
(09:35):
pack, ice Cube Snoop Dogg.Yeah, I know, Tupac six pack.
Yeah, it's all the same tome. I would like that one
just because it's fun. Yeah,yeah, got fifty cents. Yeah what
two packs? Yeah, I know, I know hwing, I know mal
(09:56):
Dollar signs, I get that deadmouth okay. And some of the stuff
she wrote is I got news foryou that road. You don't follow the
laws of jaywalking, parene illegal mightbe the death of you. Do not
come speak to me for any reason. I mean, just completely just nuts,
(10:16):
spoke of being persecuted, argued onher social about music on the radio,
content, comments about attempted murder onthe road, accused unnamed people are
doing terrible things to get close,get closer to celebrities. And then the
final question, the one that reallytalked about how nuts she is. Do
(10:39):
you like my van? Well?I like that at the end of all
of this, do you like myvan? And so the interview from the
La Times. Are people living invan? She was living in her van
next to her other van. Yeah, a van occupiers. I think they're
(11:03):
a dweller at that point, okay, you have she's or a trespasser or
whatever, and she is. Shewas noted of just being out of her
mind, ranting up and down tothe point where they called the cops.
Then she took video part of thepre video from someone in e Ventice or
wherever they're shooting at. People arescreaming at her to be quiet. She's
(11:26):
playing music or something. The cops. That's when the cops show up.
But I think it was LA magmagazine that posted it. But I saw
the pre video before the start ofthe chase, and she was already out
of her mind. So so whatis what is important about this? Well,
(11:46):
first of all, it says alot about southern California and the freeways
and the comment about how crazy peopleare. But people like this make this
show worthwhile. This makes entertainment witha capital E. I don't have to
think. I just watch, justlike the rest of us. We do
(12:09):
that on your last day. AndI'm going to make a call right now
for people that are listening to theradio. Please please, if you're thinking
of doing this, please do it, and just do it during our show.
That's all I ask. Just takea company van on your last day.
I don't you make the decision whenthat day is and you go,
today's the day, get in thevan and go down the freeways of Los
(12:31):
Angeles. I'm already outlining my lastshow here on KFI. I have the
outline ready to go, and Iwould be fired instantly if I weren't leaving
that day. Don't know when itis, but it's let me put it
this way. You think crazy,You have no idea. Okay, I
(12:54):
want to get right to it becausethis is a story about death, and
you know I love to talk aboutdeath and dead people and burial and that's
just me, all right, twentytwenty seven, in California, we're going
to be able to bury people andhave them decompose, not in normal burial
plots, not at cemeteries. Thereare going to be cemeteries. But it's
(13:18):
basically human composting, and that isnow not just the thing. It's going
like crazy. Story in the LaTimes about this woman, Blair von Falkenberg,
and she and her husband lived upin Orches Island, Washington. He
got to pancray out of cancer,came down to their Calabasas home where he
(13:39):
died. Now, keep in mind, you can't do human composting as a
burial in California until twenty twenty seven, So she went ahead and took his
body up to Oregon, where itis legal. First date to legalize human
composting in twenty twenty. Now,when I talk about human composting, that's
not just sort of a a anacronym, or it's not just a name.
(14:03):
It's not a euphemism. It ishuman composting. Yes, stick someone
in a composting pile, much likeyou compost at home, and they will
decompose into organic matter. Hmm,doesn't that sound like fun your loved ones
(14:24):
decomposing. But I'll tell you thereis a method to this madness, and
it may not be madness either,because you compare it to what we actually
do, which is even crazier.All right, Now, look at the
history of American burials, right,it's changed over the last centuries. People
just took care of their own.I love the Irish way of doing it.
You throw a coffin up on twosawhorses in a living room, open
(14:46):
casket, and everybody gets screaming,drunk, singing Danny Boy all night long.
That's the way you do it.Jews, you don't have the body
sitting in there. But what doyou do? You go to the funeral
and everybody comes home when they eatlike pigs. Right, just okay,
we bury him. Let's eat alot of go veilta fish. Well that's
(15:07):
not true, but a lot oflocks and bagels. And so we now
go from that to very expensive,very elaborate funerals. Embal being embalming concrete
lead graveliners. By the way,that's not necessarily the law, but it
is certain cases. The way thoseconcrete boxes they put the coffins in is
(15:28):
to keep the soil from just collapsing. That's why they just don't want dense
in the soil so it holds upthe ground. And because it is so
damn expensive to bury people, becausepeople are nuts. You go to a
funeral home, first of all,they grab you at your most funeral when
(15:48):
you just lost your mom, youjust lost an aunt and uncle, parent,
and god forbid, you've lost yourchild. The world should not be
that parents bury their children. That'sjust simply not the way it should be.
You should bury your parents, youshould bury your grandparents. That's the
natural cycle, all right. Soyou go there and they're you're totally vulnerable,
and they start saying, here's atwelve thousand dollars casket. Wow,
(16:11):
that's a lot of money, Butdon't you want to honor your mother?
And the more you spend, themore you're honoring your parents. That's a
croc What twelve thousand dollars casket?You're just then throwing in the ground,
you know, and you're good forIt's like buying a two million dollar house
that you're going to live in fora week and then you move out and
you go back to your tent.But you spend the money if you have
it or you borrow it. Imean, it's just it's insanity. Doesn't
(16:33):
mean that's why Jews. It makesall of sense. You throw them in
a pine box and you throw themin the ground and you're done. And
by the way, when my bothmom and dad died, I go to
the funeral home and they try toconvince me to buy a more expensive casket,
and I went for the cheapest one. You know, it's a pine
box, that's it. Not eventhey don't even do the rectangle part of
(16:55):
it like they do in Europe.You know, there's no lining, there's
none of that crap pine box,you're dead. I remember going to the
funeral home when my dad died andactually you screaming at them, arguing,
negotiating. It's like, I'm notgonna pay that much money for a box.
This is thirty dollars worth of pineand now hour and a half of
work to put this together. Youget to charge me eleven hundred dollars?
Are you guys out of your mind? So I threatened to go to Costco
(17:19):
and which sells, which sells caskets, by the way, and they sell
that pine box for eleven the samesame box for five hundred and fifty bucks,
which is still overpriced. I threatenedto go there and have it delivered,
and they said, okay, we'llmax the price. By the way,
always negotiate with funeral homes always,because I saw it and my family
(17:41):
thought I was nuts because it's justway too much money. With my dad,
I got pissed because of that wholeoh to honor and I said,
so you're telling me I love myfather less if we buy something more economical.
Yeah. Yes, the answer hatedthat whole process. It's not that
they're trying to defraud you. Theyjust genuinely believe the more you spend.
(18:02):
So I remember saying the more manwho used to screen screen for me years
and years ago, and I firedhim. And before I fired him,
I sat down. He was Mormon. I sat down and said, you
know you give ten percent to thechurch. He goes absolutely. And I
said, by the way, Iwas always curious about this, is this
gross ten percent of your gross orten percent of your net? And the
(18:26):
answer was, it depends on whetheryou want gross blessings from God or net
gressing blessings from God. Wow.Boy, that wrapped that one up,
didn't it. Yes, the moreyou spend, the happier you are.
The heavenly CPA is up there becounting, all right. So again digress
(18:48):
a touch. This has to dowith burying people. And I've always complained
and talked negatively about the way wedo death in this country. We don't
do it well. And it's changedcompletely. One hundred years ago, well,
prior to the Civil War, embalmingdidn't exist. So you know,
in the South it's hot, youhad to bury people pretty quickly, and
we used to just do it athome and make caskets. And then the
(19:11):
mortuary industry was born, and thenyou have the ornate caskets and the services,
and it got so hideously expensive thatyou have poor people that spend twelve
fifteen thousand dollars and they can't affordit to bury somebody. And these ten
thousand dollars caskets that you throw inthe ground, which make no sense.
(19:32):
Well, cremation, and I rememberwhen cremation the Neptune Society started. I
mean, it was horrible, andof course the mortuary industry fought it like
crazy, let's make it illegal.Well, now sixty one percent of burials
are not burials. They people arecremated, which happens to be an environmental
nightmare by the way, requiring hugeamounts of energy natural gas to incinerate bodies
(19:56):
for hours and hours at zillions ofBTUs. Also, so much carbon dioxide
is put off that the South CoastAir Quality Management District limits the number of
cremations that could be done every monthin southern California. Isn't that crazy?
(20:17):
It suspended that in twenty twenty onebecause so many people were dying of COVID
that it took off the caps.Now, composting pioneer Katrina Spade, I'll
tell you about wrote the last gesturemost of us will make on this Earth
as toxic. That makes sense,especially if you cremate. So what do
you do? Woo, you dohuman composting, going back to Earth,
(20:41):
making a final act meaningful and literallyput them in a composting pile. Now
it's high end stuff. I mean, these are containers that are loaded with
naturals, dirt and hay and eggshellsand banana peels and whatever the hell you
put in a composting pile ale Andthen you have a very sophisticated HVAC system
(21:03):
that keeps it at one hundred andthirty degrees because that's the magic number for
decomposing things. And thirty to sixtydays later you have a bunch of dirt
that you plant things in. Youknow, you plant an olive tree because
that's peace or whatever the hell you'regonna do, you know, I don't
know. And in Washington, thisis the only state right now where it's
(21:27):
legal. This is where this womanwas, Katrina Spade. She started this
whole movement, and what she didoriginally is develop a sort of almost a
large towers what it was, andloved ones would take their bodies up on
a ramp to the top and thenit would slowly circularly go down until the
(21:51):
bottom it was decomposed. However,Carvana threatened to sue them, so she
gave that up. That didn't work, so instead, eventually they came up
with the cylinders. You put deadpeople in with a compost material and you
walk out with this dirt, abouttwo hundred and fifty pounds worth of dirt,
by the way, because not onlyis it a person, it's also
(22:15):
all the stuff that you do.And you know, these there are three
of these mortuaries in Washington. Thenumber the biggest number of clients are out
of state, particularly California. Whyis it because it costs so much less
and more importantly, it is soorganic and you return to the earth.
(22:37):
And actually, you know, ina way it makes sense. I mean,
just you have to bring the bodythere. Obviously, you have to
transport the body to Washington unless youare bringing three or more bodies than they'll
pay for the shipping. This absolutelyworks. Am I gonna do it?
(22:57):
I don't know. I already havea play. You know, it's one
of them. I'm a traditionalist pineBox. I'll tell you that big party
afterwards, lots of food, lotsand lots of food, and everybody does
it differently, just just the wholesystem of burial, and we just are
(23:18):
just horrible about it. And themortuary industry is trying to stop. As
a matter of fact, the woman, the assembly woman who kick this in
has been trying four years. Andyou know why it's going in twenty twenty
seven and not now because the mortuaryindustry convinced the legislature there was a compromise.
We need more time to really studythis. Really, the mortuary industry
(23:41):
needs more time. Ye what they'regonna do is they're gonna buy land and
get into this business. Like mortuariesnow have cremation, which is the biggest
part of their business. And whatis hilarious about that is you have these
plots of land, you know,six by nine that costs thousands of dollars.
So what they do is they buildthese buildings and you have these little
(24:03):
boxes like safe deposit boxes that theyput your ashes in that you park up
there or on the mantle at home, whatever you do, and those cost
thousands of dollars. It's a goodbusiness, it really is. All Right,
we're done. KFI AM six fortylive everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You've been listening to the Bill HandleShow. Catch my show Monday through Friday
(24:26):
six am to nine am, andanytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
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