July 16, 2025 • 24 mins
Happy 32 years in the morning on KFI Bill Handel! Rich Marotta calls in to the show. Rich was the sports anchor in the morning for 21 years and went on to be the founder of the Nevada Boxing Hall of Fame. Etsy witches charge for jobs, sunshine, your sports team winning for a fee... business is booming. Bill's best friend and business partner Saville calls in.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listenings KFI AM six forty the Bill Handles Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
F thirty two years ago today, KFI settled for a
failed lawyer with barely any experience to fill up some
aretime while we figured out who the real host was
gonna be. That man was Bill Handle, and we're still
on the fence. You're listening to the thirty second anniversary
(00:29):
celebration of Bill Handle on KFI, which is a lot
like any other day, but at least there's Kate and
now Handle on the news. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Bill Handle.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Good morning everybody. And I guess they're gonna make a
big deal about it today. It's you know, I'm really
not comfortable with this. And it's not redoing the aw
shucks kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
I don't know, but I'm just not comfortable. You asked
me to play that again? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Play what that? Not that I didn't ask you did
off the air? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Yeah, I saw you go in there. Did you slip
them a five liars?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
First of all, I would never give up a five
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Maybe one dollars, yeah, maybe, or maybe three quarters, you know,
seventy five cents.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
But no, no, I'm just I'm just not good at compliments.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
I'm really not well, thankfully you don't get them off.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yeah, that's that's so true.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Okay, So we're gonna do a sort of a modified
show today because we spent the entire last hour bs
A and Todd Spitzer, Orange County DA and friend of
thirty years called in and we spent a few times,
a few moments reminiscing.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
So here's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I'm going to do this segment of Handle on the
Law that we missed last segment, and then go in
hand in the news.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Thirty two years, I still can you imagine?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I still get the two shows confused Handle on the
Law thirty five years.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Here on KFI.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
And and I say I know that, yes, thirty five
years and this show thirty two years figured out.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Did I recall n Z Marjorine constantly?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Constantly?
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Yeah, yeah I do.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And I call my girls each of them different, you
know they are the other names. All right, let's go
back to it. Handle on the News, Amy, Neil and me.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
All right, Trump.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
He said yesterday that he's pushing Texas Republicans to redraw
the state's congressional maps. Why you asked to create more
House seats favorable to his party? Of course, part of
this broader effort to help the GOP retain control of
the Chamber in the next year's midterm election.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So yeah, but that cuts both ways too, because when
the Democrats are in power, Yeah, they're going to do
exactly the same things.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
That's my point about all this.
Speaker 7 (03:02):
So you think somebody's getting away with someone, all you
do are change a line and setting the next administration.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Out sall short term stuff.
Speaker 8 (03:11):
Trump's on the attack against the guy that he calls
Shifty Shift. President Trump has accused Senator Adam Schiff, of
course from right hearing, for a Bank Area of Committee
mortgage fraud by misleading lenders, saying that his primary residence
was here rather than in the suburbs of d C.
(03:33):
He said that he did it to get a cheaper
mortgage and rip off America. Shift, who led the House
impeachment of Trump during his first term, has remained one
of his most vocal and forceful political adversaries. He said,
it's a baseless attempt at political retribution.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, I said a lot, a lot of legislators have
two homes, and he said he told the bank that
when the guy his mortgage. I don't know, but anyway,
what has happened. Of course, the investigation has moved forward.
It's been turned over to the DOJ. Of course it
has a big.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And how big of a big? How big of a
deal is.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That it's not only non exist because think of this,
he has defrauded the American people. How do you defraud
the American people be getting a private mortgage at a
lower rate.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
I don't, I don't get it. So anyway, it's going
to disappear.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
It's nothing, and it's yeah, it is strictly optics for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
All my single riders, all my single riders.
Speaker 6 (04:39):
No.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
All right.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So now there is a new app that could help.
Speaker 7 (04:42):
Disney love us to find their happily ever after their
mate of all mates. The app is called Single Riders
and it's designed for people who share mutual passion for
the theme park. And I guess you can find love there.
But here's the problem. Then you meet somebody, now you're pair,
and you have to wait in the big ass line,
yeah instead of the single right a line?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Good for you?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Also, you know, it's these apps are these dating apps
are kind of weird in this case. Let's say you're
describing having sex the night before with someone, and then
you play the theme song of Frozen that.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Let it go frigid, Frozen, Frozen.
Speaker 7 (05:25):
It's I'm not thirty years right, I'm trying to run along.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
It was it was a joke, okay, meaning that it
was cold. Huh yeah, cold cold, yeah, necrophilia like oh gotcha?
Speaker 7 (05:43):
Oh, I wrote a poem for you for this occasion.
Roses are red, violets are blue. We thought you'd last
one year, but you lasted thirty two.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Oh that's so soon, I tell you.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
For those of you that are still listening, and I
understand that is diminishing very very quickly. This morning, it
looks like we're gonna have a really modified weirdo show.
The only thing that's worth while about this, and I'm
putting up with all of this, is that Brent's Deli
is coming in with a full deli platter for us.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I am excited, so am.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I I didn't bring breakfast because of this.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They I am right. I mean, I look down, I
have wood. Okay, all right, I.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Think we just lost cono.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I am sixty, and I don't know if you're sick
of this stuff, but I sure am.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
H it's okay enough enough.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Thirty two years of it, we've been sick.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah. Oh no, that's just not another one.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Oh my gosh, okay, here we go, all right, special call.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
This is okay. Rich. Hey, Hey, I thought was a gentleman.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Rich Rich.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Rich has been with me for he was twenty years here,
I thought you were dead.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
I've been close at times.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yes, well, and uh, is Helen still in your life?
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Oh? Yes, absolutely, Yeah. We've gone through some periods of changes,
of course, in both of our lives. Oh yeah, I mean,
which has been an open book.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
No kidding.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Rich Helen had early on, Helen had left him, and
he came in the studio the next day and Chess
was just miserable, and I go, come on, was your
wife left you? And he said, yeah, she did. And
every morning I'd come in and go still gone, not
there anymore. So Rich, you were a big It was
(07:52):
a rough stretch. Yeah, it was enjoyable for me. But
so what do you I've heard?
Speaker 6 (08:00):
I want to I know, but I want to I
want to say something because this is your thirty second anniversary, right,
so congratulations on that. But I want to say, but
it's also the thirty second anniversary of the day that
I met you. That's because I started with you on
(08:21):
day one of your show. Now, I had been on
a previous show, T and T in the morning, which
had been canceled. Okay, so but they kept me on
and said, you're going to be on the Bill Handle
show now, because that's what that's the new show that's
coming in. And you had been on the station four years,
but working I think weekend.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, doing all of that.
Speaker 6 (08:45):
But I had never met you. Incredible. I had never
met you.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
And Rich good friends.
Speaker 6 (08:53):
But you know that morning when I met you before
your first show, you met me out in the hallway
and greeted me in the following fashion by saying, when
I said, you know, I'm Rich Morna, I'm going to
be on your shirt, and you go, well, I don't
know why you're here. I hate sports.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
That's true.
Speaker 6 (09:14):
That was my introduction to you and what I would
be in for for the next twenty one and a
half years.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, and it was great, great, fine, and Rich did
sports and we and you didn't care.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
I didn't know, of course not. But Rich was not
there just to do sports.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I mean, Rich was there to be a foil Rich
super liberal and we needed a liberal voice. Sorrey, are
you still a falling down liberal Rich? I'm assuming you are.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
Oh yeah, yeah. And what could I say if I'd
have been on that, if I'd have been on your
show at this time, I'm sure i'd been deported to
with Venezuela.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Oh absolutely absolutely. I really miss those days.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Now.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I am considered by a lot of listeners as the
left wing wacko of the show. And that was why
it was so important that you are on, because then
everybody perceived me differently.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Manly, what a kick?
Speaker 5 (10:11):
What a kick?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I really say, Hi to Helen, and I really appreciate this,
I will.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
But I think one of your great strengths was the
fact that nobody could ever pig you down, whether you'd
be on a particular issue, a liberal or a conservative
or whatever. And you know, you had that shock value
when you first came into the station and started Your
show was different than anything that had been on the
air in Los Angeles locally and talk radio certainly, and
(10:40):
you know that's what made it, That's what made it great.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
One of the great lines when I got the star.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
When we were at the Star of the Hollywood Walk
of Fame and you were asked to speak, and you
started with Bill Handle grew up as a poor black
boy in the ghetto, and then you went on to
talk about everything else.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
It's very, very funny stuff.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Rich.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Thank you really appreciate you calling in.
Speaker 6 (11:10):
Okay, thanks for letting me hitch my ass to your
star for those twenty one years, because that really really
made a difference in my life. And I do mean
that because Bill, you are the goat of La talk rat,
there's no question about it, the greatest of all time.
You're still there.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, that's enough, Rich, all right, Yeah, thank you, all right, goodbye.
It's been a pleasure talking to you. All right, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Damn Oh geez, Rich he is a lot. He was
a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Great story about Rich, by the way, I wonder if
I could share it. You know, I'm going to do
him and Neil. I'll tell you the story. I get
to filter it. Yeah, you get to filter because it's
not about his appendage, right, No, it's not about it,
are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Legendary?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
It is legendary. That's absolutely true rope tricks. I mean,
very impressive day Wednesday, July see sixteen, and just a
few minutes ago, Rich Murata, who was on the show
for twenty one years, called in and to do the
obligatory congratulations a guy at thirty two years young congratulations.
And so we're sort of half celebrating, half him making
(12:16):
fun of me. And I said, just before the break,
there's a story I wanted to share with you about Rich.
Rich had retired from the show and he had this
little dog, Henry. Henry was his life, a little puffball
of a dog. You know, it looks like, you know,
a gay guy's carpet slipper, you know, this little you know,
(12:36):
those puffball you know, white things, and just absolutely adored Henry.
And Rich lived on and maybe still does on a
golf course in Reno, and he would take Henry for
a walk every day around the golf course. And then
he had to put Henry down Henry got old, and
(12:56):
so Henry is now dead and cremated him and the
box of ashes Henry. So I'm talking to him a
few weeks after. Henry is no longer with us, and
I was talking Bill, I gotta go, I go, what's
going on? I will have to take Henry for a walk.
What do you mean you have to take Henry for
(13:16):
a walk. Henry is dead. He's in a box.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Rich and he says, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Rich would walk around the ballpark holding the box of
Henry's sweet.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
What do you I mean, what do you do with that?
Speaker 5 (13:34):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
We're gonna do that with you. No, you're not going
to put you right near the mic.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
No you're not.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, and then we're going to put little bits of
your ashes on the mics.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
And my daughter has Kendall, who is the greatest dog
in the world. But Ken weighs seventy five pounds, so
I can see her taking Kendall for a walk, throwing
Kendall over her shoulders and get a.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Lot lighter when you die and then burned.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
H yeah, yeah, all right, Oh my god, already we're
almost out of time.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Look at the time we're having. But I want to do.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
This this Etsy story, because that is too too much
fun and it involves witches and this and this is real.
I mean I looked at it and I thought this was
a joke, but no, no, this is real. It's out
of the Wall Street Journal and it starts describing this
woman John Neudi Pereira, and it's been out of a job.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Looks for work, no luck.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
So what she did is what a lot of people
are doing now, is she paid a witch on Etsy
to cast a spell. Now, Lindsey buys a ton of
stuff on Etsy. That's her go to place. Yeah, for
the gifts, I mean you can just get you know,
the handmade stuff, just wonderful stuff on Etsy. And we
(14:54):
have a house full of Etsy stuff. We don't, at
least I to my knowledge, have never paid for a
witch on Etsy. So what happened to her? And we're
talking about Janudi Pereira? Oh, I'm going to take a
page after you, Neil. What happened to her is We'll
(15:14):
be back right after this and I'll give you the answer.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Oh I just told my Oh not another one?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Oh oh oh god, let's see. I think.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Hello, Willie Wolf handle, Oh save Sabilius.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
J Dougreth Bill Handles her lover and partner.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Absolutely, Hello and congratulations. You know how much I feel
about giving you compliments, but I have to start by
giving you a compliment. Thirty two years is pretty incredible.
What you've done. I mean, from being one of the
best storytellers in Southern California, actually the best storyteller in
(15:58):
Southern California educating us. I remember the day when you
rarely just hit it out of the park, when thank goodness,
Rush Limbaugh on nine eleven was stuck in the middle
of nowhere and you took over for many, many hours
guiding us through nine eleven. That was pretty impressive. And
that along with what I think is the best show
(16:19):
on the radio handle on the law, other than, of course,
the Jesus Christ Show on Sunday mornings. Thank you, You're welcome.
But seriously, I'm going to throw up in my mouth
with all that.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
I'm already there, Okay, I.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Get it, But I'm proud of you, and I wanted
to share one of two embarrassing stories with you. However,
you are so much of a better storyteller than I am.
So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to
give you a choice of which story i'd like you
to share it. If you choose not to share it,
of course I will share it and muddle through it
(16:58):
and let me stop by giving you some clues. The
first story would be about a human manatee or a thief.
And the second story, which I'd love you to tell,
and again I want you to choose, would be about
your daughter's But that's the theme which we spoke about
at length and negotiated, uh in a big way off.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
I think you were a cool both. Oh yeah, I do.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
No, I do, I do.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
I would like to job there and say I would
prefer that you talk about the first one.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yes, But for people who don't know, I always talk
about Saville, Uh, my best friend, and Neil is.
Speaker 7 (17:41):
Just ye here in patron Okay, I'm your I'm your
best poor friend.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah that's true. And uh so Saville and I go
back and we are partners uh in that ye lovers,
partners in a business that's now being a tariff probably
out of existence because we import from China, and uh
we have, we've been friends and we I actually moved
to Las Vegas because of Savell, and then I left
(18:08):
Las Vegas because of Savel, So I was therefore true.
I know I was there for a year and it
was I just don't get how people live in that
kind of heat, clearly, But yeah, I can share real quickly.
U Savell had offered me because the to pay for
the entire bot mitzvah of my mind.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
Hi, is this a story you really want to tell?
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Tell them both. I'm going to tell them. Yes.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Uh, you're about to be canceled.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, Saville had offered to pay for my girls bought
metzva because I suggested doing a Holocaust theme. Uh, and
every table would be a different camp and all of
the support staff and the waiters would be dressed in
the you know, uniforms, and uh, that was shut down
very very quickly.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
You did mentioned at the time you liked the idea
of having people wear stripe pajamas. I just mentioned at
the time about tattooing people. Of all, you were most
excited about the savings on the catering because it would
basically be water and bread.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Oh yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
It would be cheap. What like, who seriously hurt you? U?
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
The other one let me tell the other story.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
The other story is I'm going to say there was
an unnamed talk show host that was on CAFI that
Bill absolutely adored. However, this person looked like a human
manatee or a powerful lack of a better description, and
basically we were at an event together, and I walked
into this event and Bill was speaking as was this
(19:54):
human vanity. And as I walked in, I saw all
these publicity photos, which normally the person sign and I
found one of this human Maanity. So I quickly grabbed
a sharpie and I wrote a note and I said, Hi, Bill,
I think it's fantastic that you call me a humanmanity
to everybody, and you have the greatest sense of humor.
(20:15):
I went to the front desk, I got a brown envelope.
I put the picture in the brown envelope, wrote Bill
handle on it. Walked over to Bill and said, this
talk show host wanted you to have this envelope. I
have no idea what's in it. Bill opens up the envelope,
opens up the picture, and just starts laughing. Oh. Incidentally,
(20:36):
the human Maanity or the unnamed talk show host walks
around the corner. At the same time. Bill holds up
the picture and says, oh, my goodness, you have the
greatest sense of humor about. And as he said about,
I started running, running as fast as I could running.
(20:57):
I did not know where I was running, I knew
why I was running, And as Bill saw me running away.
He got it, and he realized how much trouble he
was in, and he had to explain to this person
the whole story that he actually called him a human vanity.
And how did that end up for you?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Bill? He ended up dying Now, not as a result
of yeah, yeah, what a punchline.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
While you're telling that, I think we just had a
small earthquake.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
We did.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
We did have a small earthquake, Jeff. We're not gonna
mention names, all right, you just did. But anyways, okay, yeah, okay,
Jeff letty.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
And was rude. He was very he was big a lot.
Oh wait a second, he was.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Big, and he was bald, and he looked like a
human maanity. You know, so Neil at me, Neil, if
we go upside down with you, you look like you
have a little bit of hair on top of your head.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (21:56):
But the difference between Jeff and I is I can
beat the utter crap out of you.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
That's true too, all right, And.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
One final thing, and I know I know my time's limited,
but do you remember the joke you you cracked the
day Jeff sadly passed away. I do remember you came in.
You said to everybody. We said, how did he die?
And you actually said he was hit by a propeller
on a boat? What is And I remember that.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Unfortunately, so do I.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Second. All right, thank you, anniversary. I'm super proud of you.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Thank you, Thanks Neil.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
I love you.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I love you more.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Yeah, I keep on forgetting some of this stuff. There's
a lot of humanity in me, you know that.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Uh cono Usually even cono is done by my humanity.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Sometimes I think God was actually shaking the building. Yeah,
it's it's God saying stop. Maybe someone hit the building.
I'm we're not even sure that.
Speaker 8 (23:01):
We're checking everything and nothing's showing up on any sites
social media, earthquake.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
It could be a truck that's rumbling outside that you
know we have those, those are big trucks.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
We do have food arriving any moment.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh, Prince, Prince. Anyway, let's go ahead and take a break.
And I'm being interrupted rudely by these people that are
calling in that Neil somehow has arranged me. Okay, how
about your producer. Okay, that ann has arranged and it's
the boys. It getting getting in the way of the show.
So let's do this.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
We'll come back and we'll stranger laugh.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Let's see if we can get back to the Etsy Witches,
and I'll finish that story somehow without giving these anecdotal
stories that make me look like a complete ass.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Oh was that out loud?
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Kfi A M six forty. You've been listening to The
Bill Handle Show. Catch My Show Monday through Friday, six
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Am to nine am, and anytime on demand on the
iHeartRadio app
You're listenings KFI AM six forty the Bill Handles Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
F thirty two years ago today, KFI settled for a
failed lawyer with barely any experience to fill up some
aretime while we figured out who the real host was
gonna be. That man was Bill Handle, and we're still
on the fence. You're listening to the thirty second anniversary
(00:29):
celebration of Bill Handle on KFI, which is a lot
like any other day, but at least there's Kate and
now Handle on the news. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Bill Handle.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Good morning everybody. And I guess they're gonna make a
big deal about it today. It's you know, I'm really
not comfortable with this. And it's not redoing the aw
shucks kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
I don't know, but I'm just not comfortable. You asked
me to play that again? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Play what that? Not that I didn't ask you did
off the air? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Yeah, I saw you go in there. Did you slip
them a five liars?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
First of all, I would never give up a five
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Maybe one dollars, yeah, maybe, or maybe three quarters, you know,
seventy five cents.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
But no, no, I'm just I'm just not good at compliments.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
I'm really not well, thankfully you don't get them off.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yeah, that's that's so true.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Okay, So we're gonna do a sort of a modified
show today because we spent the entire last hour bs
A and Todd Spitzer, Orange County DA and friend of
thirty years called in and we spent a few times,
a few moments reminiscing.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
So here's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I'm going to do this segment of Handle on the
Law that we missed last segment, and then go in
hand in the news.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Thirty two years, I still can you imagine?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I still get the two shows confused Handle on the
Law thirty five years.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Here on KFI.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
And and I say I know that, yes, thirty five
years and this show thirty two years figured out.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Did I recall n Z Marjorine constantly?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Constantly?
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Yeah, yeah I do.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And I call my girls each of them different, you
know they are the other names. All right, let's go
back to it. Handle on the News, Amy, Neil and me.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
All right, Trump.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
He said yesterday that he's pushing Texas Republicans to redraw
the state's congressional maps. Why you asked to create more
House seats favorable to his party? Of course, part of
this broader effort to help the GOP retain control of
the Chamber in the next year's midterm election.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So yeah, but that cuts both ways too, because when
the Democrats are in power, Yeah, they're going to do
exactly the same things.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
That's my point about all this.
Speaker 7 (03:02):
So you think somebody's getting away with someone, all you
do are change a line and setting the next administration.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Out sall short term stuff.
Speaker 8 (03:11):
Trump's on the attack against the guy that he calls
Shifty Shift. President Trump has accused Senator Adam Schiff, of
course from right hearing, for a Bank Area of Committee
mortgage fraud by misleading lenders, saying that his primary residence
was here rather than in the suburbs of d C.
(03:33):
He said that he did it to get a cheaper
mortgage and rip off America. Shift, who led the House
impeachment of Trump during his first term, has remained one
of his most vocal and forceful political adversaries. He said,
it's a baseless attempt at political retribution.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, I said a lot, a lot of legislators have
two homes, and he said he told the bank that
when the guy his mortgage. I don't know, but anyway,
what has happened. Of course, the investigation has moved forward.
It's been turned over to the DOJ. Of course it
has a big.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And how big of a big? How big of a
deal is.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That it's not only non exist because think of this,
he has defrauded the American people. How do you defraud
the American people be getting a private mortgage at a
lower rate.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
I don't, I don't get it. So anyway, it's going
to disappear.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
It's nothing, and it's yeah, it is strictly optics for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
All my single riders, all my single riders.
Speaker 6 (04:39):
No.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
All right.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So now there is a new app that could help.
Speaker 7 (04:42):
Disney love us to find their happily ever after their
mate of all mates. The app is called Single Riders
and it's designed for people who share mutual passion for
the theme park. And I guess you can find love there.
But here's the problem. Then you meet somebody, now you're pair,
and you have to wait in the big ass line,
yeah instead of the single right a line?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Good for you?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Also, you know, it's these apps are these dating apps
are kind of weird in this case. Let's say you're
describing having sex the night before with someone, and then
you play the theme song of Frozen that.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Let it go frigid, Frozen, Frozen.
Speaker 7 (05:25):
It's I'm not thirty years right, I'm trying to run along.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
It was it was a joke, okay, meaning that it
was cold. Huh yeah, cold cold, yeah, necrophilia like oh gotcha?
Speaker 7 (05:43):
Oh, I wrote a poem for you for this occasion.
Roses are red, violets are blue. We thought you'd last
one year, but you lasted thirty two.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Oh that's so soon, I tell you.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
For those of you that are still listening, and I
understand that is diminishing very very quickly. This morning, it
looks like we're gonna have a really modified weirdo show.
The only thing that's worth while about this, and I'm
putting up with all of this, is that Brent's Deli
is coming in with a full deli platter for us.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I am excited, so am.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I I didn't bring breakfast because of this.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They I am right. I mean, I look down, I
have wood. Okay, all right, I.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Think we just lost cono.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I am sixty, and I don't know if you're sick
of this stuff, but I sure am.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
H it's okay enough enough.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Thirty two years of it, we've been sick.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah. Oh no, that's just not another one.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Oh my gosh, okay, here we go, all right, special call.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
This is okay. Rich. Hey, Hey, I thought was a gentleman.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Rich Rich.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Rich has been with me for he was twenty years here,
I thought you were dead.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
I've been close at times.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yes, well, and uh, is Helen still in your life?
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Oh? Yes, absolutely, Yeah. We've gone through some periods of changes,
of course, in both of our lives. Oh yeah, I mean,
which has been an open book.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
No kidding.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Rich Helen had early on, Helen had left him, and
he came in the studio the next day and Chess
was just miserable, and I go, come on, was your
wife left you? And he said, yeah, she did. And
every morning I'd come in and go still gone, not
there anymore. So Rich, you were a big It was
(07:52):
a rough stretch. Yeah, it was enjoyable for me. But
so what do you I've heard?
Speaker 6 (08:00):
I want to I know, but I want to I
want to say something because this is your thirty second anniversary, right,
so congratulations on that. But I want to say, but
it's also the thirty second anniversary of the day that
I met you. That's because I started with you on
(08:21):
day one of your show. Now, I had been on
a previous show, T and T in the morning, which
had been canceled. Okay, so but they kept me on
and said, you're going to be on the Bill Handle
show now, because that's what that's the new show that's
coming in. And you had been on the station four years,
but working I think weekend.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, doing all of that.
Speaker 6 (08:45):
But I had never met you. Incredible. I had never
met you.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
And Rich good friends.
Speaker 6 (08:53):
But you know that morning when I met you before
your first show, you met me out in the hallway
and greeted me in the following fashion by saying, when
I said, you know, I'm Rich Morna, I'm going to
be on your shirt, and you go, well, I don't
know why you're here. I hate sports.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
That's true.
Speaker 6 (09:14):
That was my introduction to you and what I would
be in for for the next twenty one and a
half years.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, and it was great, great, fine, and Rich did
sports and we and you didn't care.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
I didn't know, of course not. But Rich was not
there just to do sports.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I mean, Rich was there to be a foil Rich
super liberal and we needed a liberal voice. Sorrey, are
you still a falling down liberal Rich? I'm assuming you are.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
Oh yeah, yeah. And what could I say if I'd
have been on that, if I'd have been on your
show at this time, I'm sure i'd been deported to
with Venezuela.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Oh absolutely absolutely. I really miss those days.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Now.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I am considered by a lot of listeners as the
left wing wacko of the show. And that was why
it was so important that you are on, because then
everybody perceived me differently.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Manly, what a kick?
Speaker 5 (10:11):
What a kick?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I really say, Hi to Helen, and I really appreciate this,
I will.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
But I think one of your great strengths was the
fact that nobody could ever pig you down, whether you'd
be on a particular issue, a liberal or a conservative
or whatever. And you know, you had that shock value
when you first came into the station and started Your
show was different than anything that had been on the
air in Los Angeles locally and talk radio certainly, and
(10:40):
you know that's what made it, That's what made it great.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
One of the great lines when I got the star.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
When we were at the Star of the Hollywood Walk
of Fame and you were asked to speak, and you
started with Bill Handle grew up as a poor black
boy in the ghetto, and then you went on to
talk about everything else.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
It's very, very funny stuff.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Rich.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Thank you really appreciate you calling in.
Speaker 6 (11:10):
Okay, thanks for letting me hitch my ass to your
star for those twenty one years, because that really really
made a difference in my life. And I do mean
that because Bill, you are the goat of La talk rat,
there's no question about it, the greatest of all time.
You're still there.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, that's enough, Rich, all right, Yeah, thank you, all right, goodbye.
It's been a pleasure talking to you. All right, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Damn Oh geez, Rich he is a lot. He was
a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Great story about Rich, by the way, I wonder if
I could share it. You know, I'm going to do
him and Neil. I'll tell you the story. I get
to filter it. Yeah, you get to filter because it's
not about his appendage, right, No, it's not about it,
are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Legendary?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
It is legendary. That's absolutely true rope tricks. I mean,
very impressive day Wednesday, July see sixteen, and just a
few minutes ago, Rich Murata, who was on the show
for twenty one years, called in and to do the
obligatory congratulations a guy at thirty two years young congratulations.
And so we're sort of half celebrating, half him making
(12:16):
fun of me. And I said, just before the break,
there's a story I wanted to share with you about Rich.
Rich had retired from the show and he had this
little dog, Henry. Henry was his life, a little puffball
of a dog. You know, it looks like, you know,
a gay guy's carpet slipper, you know, this little you know,
(12:36):
those puffball you know, white things, and just absolutely adored Henry.
And Rich lived on and maybe still does on a
golf course in Reno, and he would take Henry for
a walk every day around the golf course. And then
he had to put Henry down Henry got old, and
(12:56):
so Henry is now dead and cremated him and the
box of ashes Henry. So I'm talking to him a
few weeks after. Henry is no longer with us, and
I was talking Bill, I gotta go, I go, what's
going on? I will have to take Henry for a walk.
What do you mean you have to take Henry for
(13:16):
a walk. Henry is dead. He's in a box.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Rich and he says, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Rich would walk around the ballpark holding the box of
Henry's sweet.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
What do you I mean, what do you do with that?
Speaker 5 (13:34):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
We're gonna do that with you. No, you're not going
to put you right near the mic.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
No you're not.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, and then we're going to put little bits of
your ashes on the mics.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
And my daughter has Kendall, who is the greatest dog
in the world. But Ken weighs seventy five pounds, so
I can see her taking Kendall for a walk, throwing
Kendall over her shoulders and get a.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Lot lighter when you die and then burned.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
H yeah, yeah, all right, Oh my god, already we're
almost out of time.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Look at the time we're having. But I want to do.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
This this Etsy story, because that is too too much
fun and it involves witches and this and this is real.
I mean I looked at it and I thought this was
a joke, but no, no, this is real. It's out
of the Wall Street Journal and it starts describing this
woman John Neudi Pereira, and it's been out of a job.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Looks for work, no luck.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
So what she did is what a lot of people
are doing now, is she paid a witch on Etsy
to cast a spell. Now, Lindsey buys a ton of
stuff on Etsy. That's her go to place. Yeah, for
the gifts, I mean you can just get you know,
the handmade stuff, just wonderful stuff on Etsy. And we
(14:54):
have a house full of Etsy stuff. We don't, at
least I to my knowledge, have never paid for a
witch on Etsy. So what happened to her? And we're
talking about Janudi Pereira? Oh, I'm going to take a
page after you, Neil. What happened to her is We'll
(15:14):
be back right after this and I'll give you the answer.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Oh I just told my Oh not another one?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Oh oh oh god, let's see. I think.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Hello, Willie Wolf handle, Oh save Sabilius.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
J Dougreth Bill Handles her lover and partner.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Absolutely, Hello and congratulations. You know how much I feel
about giving you compliments, but I have to start by
giving you a compliment. Thirty two years is pretty incredible.
What you've done. I mean, from being one of the
best storytellers in Southern California, actually the best storyteller in
(15:58):
Southern California educating us. I remember the day when you
rarely just hit it out of the park, when thank goodness,
Rush Limbaugh on nine eleven was stuck in the middle
of nowhere and you took over for many, many hours
guiding us through nine eleven. That was pretty impressive. And
that along with what I think is the best show
(16:19):
on the radio handle on the law, other than, of course,
the Jesus Christ Show on Sunday mornings. Thank you, You're welcome.
But seriously, I'm going to throw up in my mouth
with all that.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
I'm already there, Okay, I.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Get it, But I'm proud of you, and I wanted
to share one of two embarrassing stories with you. However,
you are so much of a better storyteller than I am.
So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to
give you a choice of which story i'd like you
to share it. If you choose not to share it,
of course I will share it and muddle through it
(16:58):
and let me stop by giving you some clues. The
first story would be about a human manatee or a thief.
And the second story, which I'd love you to tell,
and again I want you to choose, would be about
your daughter's But that's the theme which we spoke about
at length and negotiated, uh in a big way off.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
I think you were a cool both. Oh yeah, I do.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
No, I do, I do.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
I would like to job there and say I would
prefer that you talk about the first one.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yes, But for people who don't know, I always talk
about Saville, Uh, my best friend, and Neil is.
Speaker 7 (17:41):
Just ye here in patron Okay, I'm your I'm your
best poor friend.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah that's true. And uh so Saville and I go
back and we are partners uh in that ye lovers,
partners in a business that's now being a tariff probably
out of existence because we import from China, and uh
we have, we've been friends and we I actually moved
to Las Vegas because of Savell, and then I left
(18:08):
Las Vegas because of Savel, So I was therefore true.
I know I was there for a year and it
was I just don't get how people live in that
kind of heat, clearly, But yeah, I can share real quickly.
U Savell had offered me because the to pay for
the entire bot mitzvah of my mind.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
Hi, is this a story you really want to tell?
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Tell them both. I'm going to tell them. Yes.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Uh, you're about to be canceled.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, Saville had offered to pay for my girls bought
metzva because I suggested doing a Holocaust theme. Uh, and
every table would be a different camp and all of
the support staff and the waiters would be dressed in
the you know, uniforms, and uh, that was shut down
very very quickly.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
You did mentioned at the time you liked the idea
of having people wear stripe pajamas. I just mentioned at
the time about tattooing people. Of all, you were most
excited about the savings on the catering because it would
basically be water and bread.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Oh yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
It would be cheap. What like, who seriously hurt you? U?
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
The other one let me tell the other story.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
The other story is I'm going to say there was
an unnamed talk show host that was on CAFI that
Bill absolutely adored. However, this person looked like a human
manatee or a powerful lack of a better description, and
basically we were at an event together, and I walked
into this event and Bill was speaking as was this
(19:54):
human vanity. And as I walked in, I saw all
these publicity photos, which normally the person sign and I
found one of this human Maanity. So I quickly grabbed
a sharpie and I wrote a note and I said, Hi, Bill,
I think it's fantastic that you call me a humanmanity
to everybody, and you have the greatest sense of humor.
(20:15):
I went to the front desk, I got a brown envelope.
I put the picture in the brown envelope, wrote Bill
handle on it. Walked over to Bill and said, this
talk show host wanted you to have this envelope. I
have no idea what's in it. Bill opens up the envelope,
opens up the picture, and just starts laughing. Oh. Incidentally,
(20:36):
the human Maanity or the unnamed talk show host walks
around the corner. At the same time. Bill holds up
the picture and says, oh, my goodness, you have the
greatest sense of humor about. And as he said about,
I started running, running as fast as I could running.
(20:57):
I did not know where I was running, I knew
why I was running, And as Bill saw me running away.
He got it, and he realized how much trouble he
was in, and he had to explain to this person
the whole story that he actually called him a human vanity.
And how did that end up for you?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Bill? He ended up dying Now, not as a result
of yeah, yeah, what a punchline.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
While you're telling that, I think we just had a
small earthquake.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
We did.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
We did have a small earthquake, Jeff. We're not gonna
mention names, all right, you just did. But anyways, okay, yeah, okay,
Jeff letty.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
And was rude. He was very he was big a lot.
Oh wait a second, he was.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Big, and he was bald, and he looked like a
human maanity. You know, so Neil at me, Neil, if
we go upside down with you, you look like you
have a little bit of hair on top of your head.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (21:56):
But the difference between Jeff and I is I can
beat the utter crap out of you.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
That's true too, all right, And.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
One final thing, and I know I know my time's limited,
but do you remember the joke you you cracked the
day Jeff sadly passed away. I do remember you came in.
You said to everybody. We said, how did he die?
And you actually said he was hit by a propeller
on a boat? What is And I remember that.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Unfortunately, so do I.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Second. All right, thank you, anniversary. I'm super proud of you.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Thank you, Thanks Neil.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
I love you.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I love you more.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Yeah, I keep on forgetting some of this stuff. There's
a lot of humanity in me, you know that.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Uh cono Usually even cono is done by my humanity.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Sometimes I think God was actually shaking the building. Yeah,
it's it's God saying stop. Maybe someone hit the building.
I'm we're not even sure that.
Speaker 8 (23:01):
We're checking everything and nothing's showing up on any sites
social media, earthquake.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
It could be a truck that's rumbling outside that you
know we have those, those are big trucks.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
We do have food arriving any moment.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Oh, Prince, Prince. Anyway, let's go ahead and take a break.
And I'm being interrupted rudely by these people that are
calling in that Neil somehow has arranged me. Okay, how
about your producer. Okay, that ann has arranged and it's
the boys. It getting getting in the way of the show.
So let's do this.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
We'll come back and we'll stranger laugh.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Let's see if we can get back to the Etsy Witches,
and I'll finish that story somehow without giving these anecdotal
stories that make me look like a complete ass.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Oh was that out loud?
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Kfi A M six forty. You've been listening to The
Bill Handle Show. Catch My Show Monday through Friday, six
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Am to nine am, and anytime on demand on the
iHeartRadio app
The Bill Handel Show News
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