December 26, 2025 • 23 mins
Hour 3 of the Day After Christmas Best Of Conway mixes heart, humor, and classic Conway confusion. Tim starts with a jaw-dropping story about an elderly couple hit with an $8,000 water bill, sparking disbelief and outrage.Things turn sentimental and funny as Tim remembers a beloved radio bit with his dad, playing his father’s echo — a true Conway family classic. The chaos returns when Tim recounts his early-morning misadventures at CVS and Starbucks, proving nothing good happens before sunrise.The hour wraps with a perfect Conway mishap: Tim tells the story of buying the wrong tickets and ending up at My Fair Lady instead of Wicked.Unexpected bills, legendary radio memories, everyday disasters, and Broadway confusion — the perfect way to wrap the Best Of. 🎧🎄
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's KMF.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am six forty and you're listening to the Conway
Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I wanted to
do this before a SoCal couple shocked and I know
that you're.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Oh my god, you see this story they came out.
This is unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
They went to pay their water bill or electric bill,
and it's usually eighty dollars a little high this time
around this month.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Dylan Barbara Anderson had been married for sixty seven years
and they've always been proud penny pinchers together. So you
can only imagine what they thought when their water bill
for May arrived and it was for.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
What a brag? They're both penny pinchers. Yeah, it seems
like a yeah, that's went out with this. We're going
to Sizzler with penny pinchers again. Okay, so he's they're
going to buy one buffet and both of them are
going to eat off the same plate.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Yeah, that's what they do. For sixty seven years. They've
been doing almighty.
Speaker 5 (00:58):
Yeah, but they're proud of it, always thinking of new
ways to pinch pettings.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh, it's being a Sizzler.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Sizzler is revamping now. You know a lot of people thought,
you know, it was coming to the end for Sizzler,
but no, they're revamping some of their stores. Like when
I grew up, I always knew where my nearest Sizzler.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Did you have Sizzler in DC?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
No, okay, that's where it called. I knew where my
Sizzler was. And when we moved to Burbank, we were
in walking distance of a Sizzler. There was one on
Chandler and Hollywood Way, and we'd walk to Sizzler, walk
to Sizzler. Sure I could drink and eat their steaks,
and you know, go to the buffet, have the ice cream,
(01:37):
the taco bar.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeah, one of my favorite places.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And nothing's better than the Sizzler toast the garlic bread
they bring off.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
My gosh, it's a soft ice cream. I always liked.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That's good too.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
All right, to get back into this, the penny pinchers
find out what happened to this crew on.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Thousand, three hundred eighty three dollars.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
How much was it? How much was the electric.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Bill for May arrived and it was or eight thousand,
three hundred eighty three dollars that water worth of water.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
So we don't use anything that takes in that much water.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Matthew came to right about this whole thing.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Their son, Craig manages their money and pays their.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Bills and keep an eye on that gun.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
What did you think when you saw that number?
Speaker 5 (02:22):
We actually kind of laughed because of the fact that
we just figured the guy read the meter wrong.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Craig found it funny because the bill says in one month,
nine hundred and eighty four ccf Or sent him cubic
feet of water was used through his parents' account. That's
more than seven hundred and thirty six thousand gallons of water.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It's an Olympic sized pool. Always say that, is that right?
It's a half Olympic sized pool.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
We know that.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Reference right for some context here, here we go, here
we go for some context. Here, that's more than enough
to fill a six hundred and sixty gallon Olympic size swimming.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Oh, he is the Olympic pool sixty gallon, six hundred
and sixty thousand gallons.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Do you think there is any way your parents could
have used that amount of water?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah? Probably absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Melanies the couple and.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Then the kids like you got to make the checkout
to Santa Anita. Well, Santa Anita, that's where you get
your water. My mom and dad, please they change of
MELA PD LA DWP to Santa Anita. Just write the check, mom,
just write it.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Absolutely not Melanies.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
The couple's daughter lives just across the street and checks
on her parents and their caretaker more than once a day.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I'm not accusing the kid of trying to you know,
wet as beat, but something's going on in this house.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Have you ever seen running water here? Faucets on sinks,
overflowing water being used without them not knowing.
Speaker 6 (03:59):
No, Oh, I have not.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Dylan Barbara's it's eight thousand dollars exactly how many fossils
would have.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
To be open for how long? Yeah, for you know,
nine Olympic pools.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, I have not.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And she was very adamant about that. She didn't even
you know, think about it. She was just on top
of him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
No I have not.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
No, no fawcet's open.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Dylan Barbara's water utility is Golden State Water Company. After
their son Colts, complain, Golden State came out and determined
there are no leaks at this modest Lakewood home and
sent this letter saying the results of our field investigation
indicated that the meter reading has shown on your current
building statement is correct.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Okay, well they got os.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Do hear her? What? Sorry? The hearer went away right away.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Craig then contacted seven on your Side Investigates.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's what Brian Long used to say, our program director
at four o'clock.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
He would say this about kfive.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
The humer went away right aw way.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
God, I was exactly like him. The Humer went away
right away, Brian, please got it.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Craig then contacted seven on your Side Investigates. After we
reached out to Golden State, we were told, although a
review is ongoing, the meter reading four exceeded what's typical
for a small residential meter.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
The humer went away right away.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
To the customer satisfaction, we will provide a refund bringing
the water bill down to historical levels.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
That's what I think. That's why, that's the way it
should be. Thank you to Channel seven News for listening
to this.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
And taking it out there. You go Channel seven News.
Old school. Yeah, I watched Channel seven News. You know,
old school.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
Yeah, here's the very old school sixty seven years together.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Keep using that term channel. I like that channel. I
love that channel. I rubbed it on and it works. Yeah,
Arthurriotis was bothering my knees. I rubbed it on and
it works.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
What is this? This is good? You know, like old
people are you know?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
He given like an ointment? You know? What is it?
This is good?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Or grape nuts? Marry the old grape nuts commercial? Oh sure,
I oh, we're giving grandpa new cereal. I hope he
likes it. He takes a couple of bites. What is it?
This is good? Before he blows everybody away.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
It ain't great, but ain't nuts?
Speaker 6 (06:28):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
What is it? This is good?
Speaker 7 (06:32):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on Demyan from KF.
I am six forty.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I'm all right, here's a belly. I found this.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's the football sketch my dad retiring from pro football
on the Johnny Carson Show.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Yeah, this is a big thing. The tonight show is
that everybody an hour and a half. It was a
big deal back then it was ninety minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
And so I'm the echo my dad, Tim Conway is
the actor, and I'm doing his echo. So the voice
you hear of the echo is me. So the premise
is what guy's retiring from football after a great career.
He's holding his helmet.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
He's got his helmet, He's in a big stadium. It's great.
All right, here we go, first of all, set up
by Johnny Carter.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
Before my next guest comes out, we have a little
surprise for you, and I'm gonna do a little remote here.
We take you right now alive to Wilson Stadium to
see the famous quarterback Chubbs Horton, who is retiring from football.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Now.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
The sound is not always.
Speaker 8 (07:27):
Great at the stadium, but we know that you're going
to be moved by his retirement speech. Take it away
out of the stadium today.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I consider.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Myself the luckiest man man.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I'm face of the earth.
Speaker 9 (08:04):
For day. I'm retiring from football. This should be sad,
but I ain't.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Am not. I am not. For my career real, real.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Has been great, fair, fair, fair.
Speaker 9 (08:40):
Now I'm retiring at the age of thirty eight. Sports
writers all say I was a playboy boy.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I say I had a lot of class. They also
say I threw the championship games. But this is true. Hey,
God strike me dead. I take that back. You better,
(09:21):
so I say, farewell. I remember, I've given you the punts,
I've given you the passes, now giving us the runs?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Give right much?
Speaker 5 (09:44):
So he wrote that bit, yeah, and did you guys
rehearse it or whatever?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Roger's on a key that you rehearsed it, I would think.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, Roger Beatty was the guy that traveled with him
and did the voice. But Roger couldn't make it to
the tonight, so he asked me to do it. But
I knew the whole bit because I had seen it
many times. Yeah, see yeah, And so he said, he goes,
let's rehearse and I said, all right. So we rehearsed it.
And there was one place in there where I think
either I screwed up or he screwed up. But you
(10:15):
didn't notice it, right, I did not. Okay, there's a
place there where I messed up.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
No, In fact, I think it's really clever.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
How the first turn that that takes where you is
on the eighth oh am not yeah, and I'm not.
And so it's it. Lets the audience know, Okay, now's
the time. This is good and so you anticipate as
an audience this is a really funny man.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I appreciate that. Ah, that's great, buddy, and thanks to
Belly that together.
Speaker 7 (10:41):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from kf
I am six forty.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
My daughter's a lounder the weather.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
So I got up this morning like a good father
and went to get her prescription at CBS. And I
got there around nine or so nine am. Not super early,
but you know early for me. And I'm I drive
up to the CVS and the gates closed, all right,
like some what's going on? So I call and the
(11:11):
CVS pharmacy doesn't open all ten am ten am. Imagine
if you're you know, you're busted out, you need pain meds,
or you're flipping out, you need your yeah, your pills,
you gotta wait till ten am. So I had about
a half hour, forty five minutes to kill, so I
went to McDonald's. I got an egg McMuffin for the
first time then probably thirty five years. Yeah, yeah, I
(11:36):
don't know how old a egg McMuffin is, but I
don't think I've had one in thirty five years. Running
the risk of swearing on the station, it was so
effing great I know it's got oh my nineteen seventy one,
seventy one, all right, so twenty nine and twenty five
(11:57):
is fifty four four years old.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Yeah, they basically reinvented. I mean, they started the breakfast sandwich.
But it's so good.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I was, I was.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I took a bite and it was hot. The bun
was hot, the muffin was hot, the sausage was hot.
I told him to leave the cheese and the egg off,
and they thought that was odd. And it was only
two dollars and forty cents.
Speaker 10 (12:18):
Now, it took four years for it to actually hit
the national menu for all the McDonald's, So it actually
hit was that all the McDonald's in seventy five?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
But it was invented in seventy one?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Man, is that a good sandwich? And I stuck in
there right before they shut breakfast down. Maybe they do
breakfast all day there? I guess No, they used to,
but then they stopped.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Oh they stopped. Didn't do it anymore, No, not anymore.
Oh I got lucky then day.
Speaker 6 (12:38):
Yeah, but yeah, and that's still relatively cheap in today's
Oh yes, that's not bad.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
No, it's great, but everybody's tried to copy them. You know,
Starbucks has one the tea leaf. Everyone has that that
you know egg McMuffin, but they called something different.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
But man, is that a good sandwich? Oh? God almighty?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
And then I drove back and waded in this CVS
drive through and the lady probably thought I was nuts
because I'm waiting. She doesn't know what medication I'm getting.
She just knows for my daughter. And I'm waiting there
for the gate to open, for them to open. I
got there around you know, ten to ten, and the
gate was still closed. And as the gate opens, I'm
(13:18):
eating an egg McMuffin and vaping.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Don't you think you know? She probably like, why are
you here going for it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Why don't you just sit at home and rot? What
are you trying to do here? How much long are
you trying to live? I mean, look at you're a mess.
What's going on with you?
Speaker 6 (13:38):
And the fact that you're waiting outside like someone waiting
for the liquor store to open, I'm waiting for my pills. Yeah,
she probably thought, Okay, this guy, you know, this addict
is you know, Jones, and for some pills. And then
when she gave him she's like, wow, you're addicted to
bronchial medication.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Not really, just give me the pills. But then I said,
I said thank you to her. I said, I said, hey,
thank you for opening up exactly a ten and doing
this so quickly, because the prescription came in late last
night and she didn't have a response to them, so
I thought, oh, she didn't hear me. So I said, hey,
thank you very much for opening up early and doing
that so quickly. And she didn't say anything. And I said,
(14:19):
can you hear me? And she said yep. I said, okay,
she's pissed at me. My pharmacist has pissed at me.
So it was just like yeah, because I'm eating an
egg McMuffin and you know, and I'm in my car
my slippers on. I had slippers on, egg mcmuffins, sweats
and a vade.
Speaker 10 (14:38):
It's like the international sign of being pissed off at
you silence exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
So okay, So I leave there and I go to
Starbucks and there's a woman who was at the counter
and she was either volunteered or elected to go to
Starbucks and give everybody and get everybody a Starbucks. And
she had eight big ventes. Is that the biggest size
the vente? Yeah, she had eight big ones.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And so she was trying to put one tray on
top of the other train, and everybody knows how that ends.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
The baristas are making eight more drinks after that.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
So I said, hey, let me help you take those
of the car, and she goes, oh, you're so sweet,
thank you very much. So I'm walking out with her.
I'm following her, and she said, the car getting them
to my office is going to be the next challenge.
I said, yeah, and then finding a car wash that's
opened this early is going to be your next challenge
because these are gonna spill. And so as I'm walking
to her car on her, I see your license plate
(15:35):
is from Wisconsin. And I go, oh, Wisconsin, a person
from Wisconsin. You know what I owe you? This the
salt of the earth. People are from Wisconsin. And you
know what she says? She says, it's a rental.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
She goes.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
He goes, it's a rental. I'm totally la, And I'm like,
what does that mean? What does that mean? I'm it's
a rental, I'm totally la. I don't know what that means.
I don't know if that's good or bad. It's a
self insult, it's self deprecating.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
I don't know, well, I mean, I think the ad
Ventes kind of gave it away.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I don't know, especially from there. I think she should
have been getting that many.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
You know, when I went to school in Toledo, Ohio,
south of Toledo, in Bowling Green, Ohio. He was nineteen
eighty one, and the first day of college, they got
all forty two guys in our dorm and we all
sat in the recreation room like in a big circle,
and you're introduced your name and where you're from. And
(16:35):
so Bill, He's from Toledo, Bill, how you doing?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Nice to sea?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Jerry?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Jerry's from Columbus. How you doing Jerry? And Isacia is
Steve Steves from Cleveland. Tim Tim is from California. And
everybody in the room looks at me. Everybody in the
room looks at me. And when that session was over,
about fifteen guys came up and go, hey, are you
really from California? What are you doing here? And what
is it like? Are there trees out there or all
the chicks really hot out there? Can you go to
the beach?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
In the wind.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I mean, because these are all country kids. These are
kids who've never been to LA These are kids who have,
you know, their parents don't have the money to you know,
take vacations to Los Angeles in the summer. And so
they had a million questions what California was all about.
And it was really great to be from a state
where everybody it was the envy of the world. Now
(17:23):
you say you're from California, you would never even say
you were from California. You would make something up, tim
where are you from, uh, Texas?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Okay, well, welcome to Bowling Green.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You would never admit you're from California because people think
you're an a hole. And that's happened in forty short years,
you know, forty five short years. Where now you're from California,
you don't say it. When we rent a car up
in Portland, where my wife's from, and we rent a
car that is a California plate, they sometimes offer bumper
(17:56):
stickers that say this is a rental because people hate
Californians up in Portland. And I see it all the time,
guys driving with a California plate up in Portland or Seattle.
And then on the bumper sticker says, this is a
rental because they don't want people to think they're a holes.
And that's happened in forty years. It's on a one
to eighty and forty years and guess what, we've got
(18:19):
to turn that around. I don't know how, but we've
got to turn around. We've got to become the envy
of the country again. I don't know how to do that.
I'm going to leave that up to next generation, like
Steph Fuje and your kids and their kids.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Because I'm too old for that.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
But you got to bet Steph Foosh, you and your
kids and your grandkids have to turn that around. We
promise you'll do that, all right, I'll do my very best.
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (18:44):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
So I went to buy three tickets for my wife.
My wife, my daughter were wicked and I accidentally bought
tickets from my fair lady. Oh I must have been,
and I got to take it.
Speaker 10 (19:01):
Into the whole process of picking the seats and the money.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
But then again, I've never seen my fair ladies, so
I don't know why not. Yeah, maybe that's a the
uh Performing Arts Downtown. Yeah it is nice.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, but I don't know how I did that, you know,
the same date. No, you just went down to worm
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It was just like, you know, like an idiot. But anyway,
the theater was very kind.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
But I love the fact that the seg.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Segrestorm Theater they're they're into screwed like we're gonna put
the show goes on. You know, you come, you get
masked up, and you know, My Fair Lady is a good,
good show. And then I think right after that is
uh wicked. And I don't know how I screwed up,
but I bought it, like, you know, five or six
(19:59):
months ago.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I gotta take it from my Fair Lady.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
But then I thought, look, nothing happens, you know, everything
happens for a reason. Maybe I'm supposed to go see
My Fair Lady. I don't know anything about My Fair
Lady though. All right, I'm not a big I know,
I come off as a big Broadway guy, like a
cultured guy.
Speaker 10 (20:17):
I'm hearing that it's set, which is just bizarre to me.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
They should change it to an easier name like the Forum,
right or Staples available, Yeah, right, Staples is now available. Right,
But I didn't know this that the rain in Spain
is from my fair lady. And you'd think a guy
who's as cultured as I am, you know, would know somebody.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
In Spain stays mainly in the place. God, I'm so tad, I'm.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
So I should go see this, my fair lady.
Speaker 11 (20:56):
Right morning, Let's cut to the music here, Let's see
a lot of dialogue here, Jesus, Oh, here we are.
Speaker 9 (21:08):
She's got it, the rain, it spins the pain by George,
He's got it.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
But I don't love this shot.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Now once again? Where does it rain on the plane?
On the plane? And where's that soggy plane?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Info in the.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Plane?
Speaker 9 (21:35):
Rubble stands.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
The lake?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
That's got a cool show?
Speaker 9 (21:43):
In Hartford?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Hereford and Hampshire.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Hurricanes hardly happen.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Have you seen that yet, Croch, I have, my fair lady,
I have not. I was gonna ask Stephfoos, but I
can imagine. Have you ever seen anything on stage?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Actually?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Did see Wicked?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Did you really?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Do you enjoy it?
Speaker 8 (22:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
It was actual pretty good. Because I'm not a big
play guy either, but yeah I'm not either. I saw
it in New York.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
We're in New York for like ten minutes, and I
saw it and I was like, I felt like a
ninety year old guy. So I kept asking my wife, like,
what did she say? I couldn't hear it? Like, I mean,
we had decent seats, but I guess the sound was odd,
Like what did she say? Like if you can't say that?
If everything she says, I couldn't hear it. You know,
the singing there was not Audrey Hepburn. The lady who's
(22:28):
saying that was Marty really, and they lip synced, they
dubbed it out.
Speaker 10 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Wow.
Speaker 10 (22:32):
Marnie Nixon was the singer. Marnie Nixon was actually the
singer for Deborah Kerr or car in The King and
I and Natalie Wood in West Side Story say that, dude,
that's great. Now all the same woman, Marnie Nixon.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
That's why. That's why it was like that voice.
Speaker 10 (22:46):
When I heard a sing I was like, oh my god,
it sounds exactly like Maria in Westside Story.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
You know what I'm looking at it.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And they did a perfect job because if you look
at the movie My Fair Lady, and you know, with
Rex Harrison and Audrey heppern It looks exactly like she singing. Yeah, man,
they must have really worked on that. That is wild.
And I wonder if people knew that when they went
to I'm sure they didn't right when they went to
the movie.
Speaker 10 (23:07):
I don't know how known that was. I mean I knew.
I think everybody knew that that. It's even remotely from
the wellside story that Natalie Wood didn't sing her parts.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I didn't know that either, man, he didn't. I didn't
know anything like that. Yeah, wow, that's wild. I gotta
look at it again.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Where does it rain on the poll? On the poll?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
And where's that soggy plane inter.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
The plane?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Wow? Fake, that's a great edit.
Speaker 8 (23:44):
Man.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
You could not tell relive on KF. I am six
forty
It's KMF.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am six forty and you're listening to the Conway
Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I wanted to
do this before a SoCal couple shocked and I know
that you're.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Oh my god, you see this story they came out.
This is unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
They went to pay their water bill or electric bill,
and it's usually eighty dollars a little high this time
around this month.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Dylan Barbara Anderson had been married for sixty seven years
and they've always been proud penny pinchers together. So you
can only imagine what they thought when their water bill
for May arrived and it was for.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
What a brag? They're both penny pinchers. Yeah, it seems
like a yeah, that's went out with this. We're going
to Sizzler with penny pinchers again. Okay, so he's they're
going to buy one buffet and both of them are
going to eat off the same plate.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Yeah, that's what they do. For sixty seven years. They've
been doing almighty.
Speaker 5 (00:58):
Yeah, but they're proud of it, always thinking of new
ways to pinch pettings.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh, it's being a Sizzler.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Sizzler is revamping now. You know a lot of people thought,
you know, it was coming to the end for Sizzler,
but no, they're revamping some of their stores. Like when
I grew up, I always knew where my nearest Sizzler.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Did you have Sizzler in DC?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
No, okay, that's where it called. I knew where my
Sizzler was. And when we moved to Burbank, we were
in walking distance of a Sizzler. There was one on
Chandler and Hollywood Way, and we'd walk to Sizzler, walk
to Sizzler. Sure I could drink and eat their steaks,
and you know, go to the buffet, have the ice cream,
(01:37):
the taco bar.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeah, one of my favorite places.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And nothing's better than the Sizzler toast the garlic bread
they bring off.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
My gosh, it's a soft ice cream. I always liked.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That's good too.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
All right, to get back into this, the penny pinchers
find out what happened to this crew on.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Thousand, three hundred eighty three dollars.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
How much was it? How much was the electric.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Bill for May arrived and it was or eight thousand,
three hundred eighty three dollars that water worth of water.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
So we don't use anything that takes in that much water.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Matthew came to right about this whole thing.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Their son, Craig manages their money and pays their.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Bills and keep an eye on that gun.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
What did you think when you saw that number?
Speaker 5 (02:22):
We actually kind of laughed because of the fact that
we just figured the guy read the meter wrong.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Craig found it funny because the bill says in one month,
nine hundred and eighty four ccf Or sent him cubic
feet of water was used through his parents' account. That's
more than seven hundred and thirty six thousand gallons of water.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It's an Olympic sized pool. Always say that, is that right?
It's a half Olympic sized pool.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
We know that.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Reference right for some context here, here we go, here
we go for some context. Here, that's more than enough
to fill a six hundred and sixty gallon Olympic size swimming.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Oh, he is the Olympic pool sixty gallon, six hundred
and sixty thousand gallons.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Do you think there is any way your parents could
have used that amount of water?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah? Probably absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Melanies the couple and.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Then the kids like you got to make the checkout
to Santa Anita. Well, Santa Anita, that's where you get
your water. My mom and dad, please they change of
MELA PD LA DWP to Santa Anita. Just write the check, mom,
just write it.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Absolutely not Melanies.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
The couple's daughter lives just across the street and checks
on her parents and their caretaker more than once a day.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I'm not accusing the kid of trying to you know,
wet as beat, but something's going on in this house.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Have you ever seen running water here? Faucets on sinks,
overflowing water being used without them not knowing.
Speaker 6 (03:59):
No, Oh, I have not.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Dylan Barbara's it's eight thousand dollars exactly how many fossils
would have.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
To be open for how long? Yeah, for you know,
nine Olympic pools.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, I have not.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And she was very adamant about that. She didn't even
you know, think about it. She was just on top
of him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
No I have not.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
No, no fawcet's open.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Dylan Barbara's water utility is Golden State Water Company. After
their son Colts, complain, Golden State came out and determined
there are no leaks at this modest Lakewood home and
sent this letter saying the results of our field investigation
indicated that the meter reading has shown on your current
building statement is correct.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Okay, well they got os.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Do hear her? What? Sorry? The hearer went away right away.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Craig then contacted seven on your Side Investigates.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's what Brian Long used to say, our program director
at four o'clock.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
He would say this about kfive.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
The humer went away right aw way.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
God, I was exactly like him. The Humer went away
right away, Brian, please got it.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Craig then contacted seven on your Side Investigates. After we
reached out to Golden State, we were told, although a
review is ongoing, the meter reading four exceeded what's typical
for a small residential meter.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
The humer went away right away.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
To the customer satisfaction, we will provide a refund bringing
the water bill down to historical levels.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
That's what I think. That's why, that's the way it
should be. Thank you to Channel seven News for listening
to this.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
And taking it out there. You go Channel seven News.
Old school. Yeah, I watched Channel seven News. You know,
old school.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
Yeah, here's the very old school sixty seven years together.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Keep using that term channel. I like that channel. I
love that channel. I rubbed it on and it works. Yeah,
Arthurriotis was bothering my knees. I rubbed it on and
it works.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
What is this? This is good? You know, like old
people are you know?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
He given like an ointment? You know? What is it?
This is good?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Or grape nuts? Marry the old grape nuts commercial? Oh sure,
I oh, we're giving grandpa new cereal. I hope he
likes it. He takes a couple of bites. What is it?
This is good? Before he blows everybody away.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
It ain't great, but ain't nuts?
Speaker 6 (06:28):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
What is it? This is good?
Speaker 7 (06:32):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on Demyan from KF.
I am six forty.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I'm all right, here's a belly. I found this.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's the football sketch my dad retiring from pro football
on the Johnny Carson Show.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Yeah, this is a big thing. The tonight show is
that everybody an hour and a half. It was a
big deal back then it was ninety minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
And so I'm the echo my dad, Tim Conway is
the actor, and I'm doing his echo. So the voice
you hear of the echo is me. So the premise
is what guy's retiring from football after a great career.
He's holding his helmet.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
He's got his helmet, He's in a big stadium. It's great.
All right, here we go, first of all, set up
by Johnny Carter.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
Before my next guest comes out, we have a little
surprise for you, and I'm gonna do a little remote here.
We take you right now alive to Wilson Stadium to
see the famous quarterback Chubbs Horton, who is retiring from football.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Now.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
The sound is not always.
Speaker 8 (07:27):
Great at the stadium, but we know that you're going
to be moved by his retirement speech. Take it away
out of the stadium today.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I consider.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Myself the luckiest man man.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I'm face of the earth.
Speaker 9 (08:04):
For day. I'm retiring from football. This should be sad,
but I ain't.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Am not. I am not. For my career real, real.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Has been great, fair, fair, fair.
Speaker 9 (08:40):
Now I'm retiring at the age of thirty eight. Sports
writers all say I was a playboy boy.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I say I had a lot of class. They also
say I threw the championship games. But this is true. Hey,
God strike me dead. I take that back. You better,
(09:21):
so I say, farewell. I remember, I've given you the punts,
I've given you the passes, now giving us the runs?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Give right much?
Speaker 5 (09:44):
So he wrote that bit, yeah, and did you guys
rehearse it or whatever?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Roger's on a key that you rehearsed it, I would think.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, Roger Beatty was the guy that traveled with him
and did the voice. But Roger couldn't make it to
the tonight, so he asked me to do it. But
I knew the whole bit because I had seen it
many times. Yeah, see yeah, And so he said, he goes,
let's rehearse and I said, all right. So we rehearsed it.
And there was one place in there where I think
either I screwed up or he screwed up. But you
(10:15):
didn't notice it, right, I did not. Okay, there's a
place there where I messed up.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
No, In fact, I think it's really clever.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
How the first turn that that takes where you is
on the eighth oh am not yeah, and I'm not.
And so it's it. Lets the audience know, Okay, now's
the time. This is good and so you anticipate as
an audience this is a really funny man.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I appreciate that. Ah, that's great, buddy, and thanks to
Belly that together.
Speaker 7 (10:41):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from kf
I am six forty.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
My daughter's a lounder the weather.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
So I got up this morning like a good father
and went to get her prescription at CBS. And I
got there around nine or so nine am. Not super early,
but you know early for me. And I'm I drive
up to the CVS and the gates closed, all right,
like some what's going on? So I call and the
(11:11):
CVS pharmacy doesn't open all ten am ten am. Imagine
if you're you know, you're busted out, you need pain meds,
or you're flipping out, you need your yeah, your pills,
you gotta wait till ten am. So I had about
a half hour, forty five minutes to kill, so I
went to McDonald's. I got an egg McMuffin for the
first time then probably thirty five years. Yeah, yeah, I
(11:36):
don't know how old a egg McMuffin is, but I
don't think I've had one in thirty five years. Running
the risk of swearing on the station, it was so
effing great I know it's got oh my nineteen seventy one,
seventy one, all right, so twenty nine and twenty five
(11:57):
is fifty four four years old.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Yeah, they basically reinvented. I mean, they started the breakfast sandwich.
But it's so good.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I was, I was.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I took a bite and it was hot. The bun
was hot, the muffin was hot, the sausage was hot.
I told him to leave the cheese and the egg off,
and they thought that was odd. And it was only
two dollars and forty cents.
Speaker 10 (12:18):
Now, it took four years for it to actually hit
the national menu for all the McDonald's, So it actually
hit was that all the McDonald's in seventy five?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
But it was invented in seventy one?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Man, is that a good sandwich? And I stuck in
there right before they shut breakfast down. Maybe they do
breakfast all day there? I guess No, they used to,
but then they stopped.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Oh they stopped. Didn't do it anymore, No, not anymore.
Oh I got lucky then day.
Speaker 6 (12:38):
Yeah, but yeah, and that's still relatively cheap in today's
Oh yes, that's not bad.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
No, it's great, but everybody's tried to copy them. You know,
Starbucks has one the tea leaf. Everyone has that that
you know egg McMuffin, but they called something different.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
But man, is that a good sandwich? Oh? God almighty?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
And then I drove back and waded in this CVS
drive through and the lady probably thought I was nuts
because I'm waiting. She doesn't know what medication I'm getting.
She just knows for my daughter. And I'm waiting there
for the gate to open, for them to open. I
got there around you know, ten to ten, and the
gate was still closed. And as the gate opens, I'm
(13:18):
eating an egg McMuffin and vaping.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Don't you think you know? She probably like, why are
you here going for it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Why don't you just sit at home and rot? What
are you trying to do here? How much long are
you trying to live? I mean, look at you're a mess.
What's going on with you?
Speaker 6 (13:38):
And the fact that you're waiting outside like someone waiting
for the liquor store to open, I'm waiting for my pills. Yeah,
she probably thought, Okay, this guy, you know, this addict
is you know, Jones, and for some pills. And then
when she gave him she's like, wow, you're addicted to
bronchial medication.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Not really, just give me the pills. But then I said,
I said thank you to her. I said, I said, hey,
thank you for opening up exactly a ten and doing
this so quickly, because the prescription came in late last
night and she didn't have a response to them, so
I thought, oh, she didn't hear me. So I said, hey,
thank you very much for opening up early and doing
that so quickly. And she didn't say anything. And I said,
(14:19):
can you hear me? And she said yep. I said, okay,
she's pissed at me. My pharmacist has pissed at me.
So it was just like yeah, because I'm eating an
egg McMuffin and you know, and I'm in my car
my slippers on. I had slippers on, egg mcmuffins, sweats
and a vade.
Speaker 10 (14:38):
It's like the international sign of being pissed off at
you silence exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
So okay, So I leave there and I go to
Starbucks and there's a woman who was at the counter
and she was either volunteered or elected to go to
Starbucks and give everybody and get everybody a Starbucks. And
she had eight big ventes. Is that the biggest size
the vente? Yeah, she had eight big ones.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And so she was trying to put one tray on
top of the other train, and everybody knows how that ends.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
The baristas are making eight more drinks after that.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
So I said, hey, let me help you take those
of the car, and she goes, oh, you're so sweet,
thank you very much. So I'm walking out with her.
I'm following her, and she said, the car getting them
to my office is going to be the next challenge.
I said, yeah, and then finding a car wash that's
opened this early is going to be your next challenge
because these are gonna spill. And so as I'm walking
to her car on her, I see your license plate
(15:35):
is from Wisconsin. And I go, oh, Wisconsin, a person
from Wisconsin. You know what I owe you? This the
salt of the earth. People are from Wisconsin. And you
know what she says? She says, it's a rental.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
She goes.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
He goes, it's a rental. I'm totally la, And I'm like,
what does that mean? What does that mean? I'm it's
a rental, I'm totally la. I don't know what that means.
I don't know if that's good or bad. It's a
self insult, it's self deprecating.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
I don't know, well, I mean, I think the ad
Ventes kind of gave it away.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I don't know, especially from there. I think she should
have been getting that many.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
You know, when I went to school in Toledo, Ohio,
south of Toledo, in Bowling Green, Ohio. He was nineteen
eighty one, and the first day of college, they got
all forty two guys in our dorm and we all
sat in the recreation room like in a big circle,
and you're introduced your name and where you're from. And
(16:35):
so Bill, He's from Toledo, Bill, how you doing?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Nice to sea?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Jerry?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Jerry's from Columbus. How you doing Jerry? And Isacia is
Steve Steves from Cleveland. Tim Tim is from California. And
everybody in the room looks at me. Everybody in the
room looks at me. And when that session was over,
about fifteen guys came up and go, hey, are you
really from California? What are you doing here? And what
is it like? Are there trees out there or all
the chicks really hot out there? Can you go to
the beach?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
In the wind.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I mean, because these are all country kids. These are
kids who've never been to LA These are kids who have,
you know, their parents don't have the money to you know,
take vacations to Los Angeles in the summer. And so
they had a million questions what California was all about.
And it was really great to be from a state
where everybody it was the envy of the world. Now
(17:23):
you say you're from California, you would never even say
you were from California. You would make something up, tim
where are you from, uh, Texas?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Okay, well, welcome to Bowling Green.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You would never admit you're from California because people think
you're an a hole. And that's happened in forty short years,
you know, forty five short years. Where now you're from California,
you don't say it. When we rent a car up
in Portland, where my wife's from, and we rent a
car that is a California plate, they sometimes offer bumper
(17:56):
stickers that say this is a rental because people hate
Californians up in Portland. And I see it all the time,
guys driving with a California plate up in Portland or Seattle.
And then on the bumper sticker says, this is a
rental because they don't want people to think they're a holes.
And that's happened in forty years. It's on a one
to eighty and forty years and guess what, we've got
(18:19):
to turn that around. I don't know how, but we've
got to turn around. We've got to become the envy
of the country again. I don't know how to do that.
I'm going to leave that up to next generation, like
Steph Fuje and your kids and their kids.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Because I'm too old for that.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
But you got to bet Steph Foosh, you and your
kids and your grandkids have to turn that around. We
promise you'll do that, all right, I'll do my very best.
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (18:44):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
So I went to buy three tickets for my wife.
My wife, my daughter were wicked and I accidentally bought
tickets from my fair lady. Oh I must have been,
and I got to take it.
Speaker 10 (19:01):
Into the whole process of picking the seats and the money.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
But then again, I've never seen my fair ladies, so
I don't know why not. Yeah, maybe that's a the
uh Performing Arts Downtown. Yeah it is nice.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, but I don't know how I did that, you know,
the same date. No, you just went down to worm
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It was just like, you know, like an idiot. But anyway,
the theater was very kind.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
But I love the fact that the seg.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Segrestorm Theater they're they're into screwed like we're gonna put
the show goes on. You know, you come, you get
masked up, and you know, My Fair Lady is a good,
good show. And then I think right after that is
uh wicked. And I don't know how I screwed up,
but I bought it, like, you know, five or six
(19:59):
months ago.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I gotta take it from my Fair Lady.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
But then I thought, look, nothing happens, you know, everything
happens for a reason. Maybe I'm supposed to go see
My Fair Lady. I don't know anything about My Fair
Lady though. All right, I'm not a big I know,
I come off as a big Broadway guy, like a
cultured guy.
Speaker 10 (20:17):
I'm hearing that it's set, which is just bizarre to me.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
They should change it to an easier name like the Forum,
right or Staples available, Yeah, right, Staples is now available. Right,
But I didn't know this that the rain in Spain
is from my fair lady. And you'd think a guy
who's as cultured as I am, you know, would know somebody.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
In Spain stays mainly in the place. God, I'm so tad, I'm.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
So I should go see this, my fair lady.
Speaker 11 (20:56):
Right morning, Let's cut to the music here, Let's see
a lot of dialogue here, Jesus, Oh, here we are.
Speaker 9 (21:08):
She's got it, the rain, it spins the pain by George,
He's got it.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
But I don't love this shot.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Now once again? Where does it rain on the plane?
On the plane? And where's that soggy plane?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Info in the.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Plane?
Speaker 9 (21:35):
Rubble stands.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
The lake?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
That's got a cool show?
Speaker 9 (21:43):
In Hartford?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Hereford and Hampshire.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Hurricanes hardly happen.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Have you seen that yet, Croch, I have, my fair lady,
I have not. I was gonna ask Stephfoos, but I
can imagine. Have you ever seen anything on stage?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Actually?
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Did see Wicked?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Did you really?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Do you enjoy it?
Speaker 8 (22:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
It was actual pretty good. Because I'm not a big
play guy either, but yeah I'm not either. I saw
it in New York.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
We're in New York for like ten minutes, and I
saw it and I was like, I felt like a
ninety year old guy. So I kept asking my wife, like,
what did she say? I couldn't hear it? Like, I mean,
we had decent seats, but I guess the sound was odd,
Like what did she say? Like if you can't say that?
If everything she says, I couldn't hear it. You know,
the singing there was not Audrey Hepburn. The lady who's
(22:28):
saying that was Marty really, and they lip synced, they
dubbed it out.
Speaker 10 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Wow.
Speaker 10 (22:32):
Marnie Nixon was the singer. Marnie Nixon was actually the
singer for Deborah Kerr or car in The King and
I and Natalie Wood in West Side Story say that, dude,
that's great. Now all the same woman, Marnie Nixon.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
That's why. That's why it was like that voice.
Speaker 10 (22:46):
When I heard a sing I was like, oh my god,
it sounds exactly like Maria in Westside Story.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
You know what I'm looking at it.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And they did a perfect job because if you look
at the movie My Fair Lady, and you know, with
Rex Harrison and Audrey heppern It looks exactly like she singing. Yeah, man,
they must have really worked on that. That is wild.
And I wonder if people knew that when they went
to I'm sure they didn't right when they went to
the movie.
Speaker 10 (23:07):
I don't know how known that was. I mean I knew.
I think everybody knew that that. It's even remotely from
the wellside story that Natalie Wood didn't sing her parts.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I didn't know that either, man, he didn't. I didn't
know anything like that. Yeah, wow, that's wild. I gotta
look at it again.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Where does it rain on the poll? On the poll?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
And where's that soggy plane inter.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
The plane?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Wow? Fake, that's a great edit.
Speaker 8 (23:44):
Man.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
You could not tell relive on KF. I am six
forty
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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