September 1, 2025 • 30 mins
Happy Labor Day!!!
5:05- Dueling Don Pardos
5:20- Conway Hypnosis
5:35- Doomsday Glacier
5:50- Tim Hosts MTV Awards
5:05- Dueling Don Pardos
5:20- Conway Hypnosis
5:35- Doomsday Glacier
5:50- Tim Hosts MTV Awards
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on De Mayo from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Conway here for a special Labor Day best of blowout sale,
Big Labor Day blowout. This is your front row seat
to the funniest, wildest, and most memorable moments of our show.
Perfect for riding out that traffic jam. And I heard
it's crowded on the four oh five, and I heard
it's crowded on the seven to ten, and I heard
it's crowded on the one oh one, and I heard
(00:29):
it's crowded on the one ten.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Hey, but they use one of those wherever it's crowded.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
All right.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
So this is the Don Pardo Competition of Stefush. Have
you found the music without lyrics?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Sir?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Wow, you want to give us a little the music showing?
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
All right, let's you know, what's the music gonna sound like.
Let's have it in their cans?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yeah? Man, all right, guys, you want to do that
music hot? That's right, it comes on hot, buddy. Come on,
you got to bring it on a hot good all.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Right, Okay, now we're gonna flip a coin. Very exciting,
see you, very exciting. Yeah, give a coin on you.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
I don't think I do.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Nobody has coins on them anymore.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Right now, I'm.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Gonna write on a piece of paper one to ten,
and the closest to it gets to pick, all right,
one to ten?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Who goes first? Oh, you're asking me?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, no, I'm writing a number one to ten. Whoever
gets closest to the number gets to pick whether they
go first or second. All right, all right, to get
to pick who gets the number first, I'm gonna write
another number, alright, So.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
This is the number to get to the number.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
To be able to be able to get for them
next mon alright.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Mark number one, team one and ten?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
All right? Four?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Four?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Krozer? What five?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
It was three?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
So Mark goes first and picking one one to ten? Okay, okay,
all right, now mark one to ten? And what number
am I writing down?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Six? Six? Is wrong?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Crozier? Three oh seven? Mark got it.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
It's gonna be let croach, dude go first. There's no
deflector no, no, no, no no. I get the choice.
I get the choice. You're the rule? Was you get
a choice? You do? I didn't hear that part.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
We can roll it back, all right, here it is
good luck Crouch. All right, music starts here, I Don Crozer.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
It's Saturday Night Long with Danacarvey, Still Harder, Nor McDonald,
Lorraine Newman.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Eddie Murphy, Maya Rudolph.
Speaker 7 (02:59):
With music guess who and your host Steve Martin, ladies
and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 8 (03:18):
That was really good, dude, That really was you really
stuck the landing.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
That was so cool man, dude, that was really good.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Hey, I learned from the best.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
All right, Wow, that's Crozier. I don't have any water
or anything. This is tough and he was good.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Doing his Don pardell Man And now it's Mark Pardo.
All right, you ready be ready?
Speaker 4 (03:39):
All right?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Red leather, yellow leather, red leather.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Bringing that music on the hot, trying to bury my
bury me under the music. It'll be better that way.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Music starts, and here it is Mark Thompson is Don Pardo.
Speaker 8 (04:00):
It's Saturday Night Live with Tana Carvey, Phil Hartman.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
McDonald Orain Newman.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
And my thing, Myya Rudolph with musical guest Queen.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And the host Steve.
Speaker 8 (04:27):
Martin, old ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 9 (04:40):
All right, Mark, I really love what I loved about
it was your professionals some shows because you had the
just the slight little nuances that Don used.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yeah, he's got that little when he does live, he'll
go live, you know, like that that little thing.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yeah, very good.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
All right, now we all get to vote a right,
all right, let's start with Steph Roni who knocked it out?
Krozier or Mark Thompson. I liked Krozier.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Crozier, Yeah, you're sweet. I think you struck the landing.
I liked it too.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Somebody who knows there's only a guy who's here one
night a week, and a guy here is five nights,
five nights a week.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It could be a long week.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
All right, Bellio Crozier or Mark Thompson.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
I'm going with Mark.
Speaker 8 (05:30):
Mark.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Angel Martinez.
Speaker 10 (05:35):
I'm going with Crawl Crozier all right, and I'm.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Going with Mark Thompson.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
So it's so it's a dead heat.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
It's a dead heat, as it should be.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So the audience has to this, Oh my god, all right, yeah,
let's put up on Twitter?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
All right, what's up Twitter? Okay, we put the audio
up as well, or or just as soon as I
get it, we.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Will, ll right, So the audience will decide. We'll know
by ten o'clock who is the better. Don Pardoh well
they and I thought they were both really but it's
neither better.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
There was a cool individual take each of us had
on the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I thought it was great and krozer for you not
to have ever done that before tonight, exactly, that's wild. Dude, man,
that is crazy. You've got an ear for that. You
got to quit radio, make some money. I mean, you
can do impressions, dude, Yeah, you got the other What
is the other one you do? Felix the Cat. Felix
the Cat, Yeah, somebody else.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
I don't even know what Felix the Cat sounds like.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
He goes, ah, we last at the no, no, but
no you do. Who's the Martin and Lewis Jerry Lewis
right right right, that's a hot one. Right, Yeah, go
out there, Don Pardo and Jerry Lewis factory.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Have Don Pardo introduced Jerry Lewis. You come on that thing,
that impression. They turn around and they think you're Jerry Lewis. Right,
you had a cigarette. Now Jerry would play maybe older
demos on that though. Thought.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, I think it's a cruise I think you're a
you know, Alaska cruise after summer when the old people
come out. Yeah. Yeah, oh that's great though. Congratulations of
both you. You both sounded hotter.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I know it is a fierce competition, but you both
showed up. They went fifteen rounds. Yeah, you know, a
good offense takes care of a good defense. I thought
it was I thought you just let him play on
the field and the you know players will take care
of themselves.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Right.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Yeah, it was hot.
Speaker 9 (07:42):
Look, the idea of doing anything like that with with
Mark Thompson is is an achievement in my head as
far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
True.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, that's a street Conway show, Labor Day best of
our show right here on K five. Who chose this?
It's Labor Day folks Conway here with a few laughs,
a few chuckles from the show. It's great if you
got the old family in the car and the kids
are on their phones and she's sleeping and you're awake
while he listened to this.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Have you ever done hypnosis?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I did. I did hypnosis when I smoked cigarettes.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
And what did they do? It was a lady.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
She sat me down and she tried to put me
in like a trance, and she kept she I remember
she said, she said there are five hundred Oh no,
she said, all these cigarettes go to the ocean, and
five million species have been wiped out by just cigarettes alone.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And I stopped and I said, wait, wait how much?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And you know, she goes, she don't say anything, And
I said that that seems like a high number.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
What'd you say?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
You said, like five million, five million species have been
killed by cigarettes? Because yeah, five million species have been
wiped out by cigarette butts in the ocean.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I said, where'd you get that from?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
She was, You're supposed to close your eyes and just
I said, okay, but that's stat seems high.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
All right, you go right back to it, Okay, back
to wood trancing. So she kept saying, I, you know,
your lungs are going to feel like the oil in
the ocean from the exon valdis that leaked? You know,
that leaked forty billion gallons, forty billion barrels of oil
into pristine Alaskan waters. I said, how many?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Forty billion?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Seems high? And she was off with all of her way,
off with all our numbers. And so by the time
I got out of there. Before there was an office
building I remember in Sherman Oaks, and before I paid
for parking, I was smoking. I remember the guy asked me,
he goes, can you put that out while you're paying
(09:50):
for parking.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Usually it's more than one people I know who've had
successful hypnosis tree for smoking, it's more than one's thing.
Sometimes it's gonna be two or three sessions, and then
they give you like some home thing that you listen
to that that reinforces what the session was. Doesn't sound
like you had any of that.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I had nothing like that. Did you get Have you
ever had acupuncture?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Oh, I'm in the middle of it now, I've got one. Really,
I think good acupunctures to one maybe? Uh? I didn't
time about on my back from my back.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
No, whit Does accupuncture work for you?
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Hard to say because I think it does a little bit.
But it depends who's doing it. Here's the problem when
my uh, I have so many physical issues.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Did you get I give you that business card? Guy
named Steve Needles? Did you ever call him? I have
to get on that. Sorry, I've got so many other
at the track.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Steve Needles the accupuncture.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, I met at the track, Yeah, what can feel good? Guys,
hands are filthy though.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Oh yeah, that's tough. Well, it's funny you should say
that because I go to one act cupuncturist who speaks
no English, okay, So I speak to him through the
but I see, I kind of like that. That makes
it feel like it's it's the Asian arts, right, So
I speak through the nurse who also thick accent. But
(11:16):
again I love that too. And with my back, so
he was treating me for my hand. I'm having some
problems in my hand, and we go to the back
because I've had this back issue as you know, over
the last month really bad. And he said, okay, we're
going to be doing this, and there's some kind of
awkward exchange because I can't understand him, and she said,
(11:37):
he wants you to know that during this acupuncture thing,
he's going to be putting a needle and I thought
she said up your and she used the word anus okay,
which is really not something I want, regardless of how
well it works. And I said, he's going to be
(11:58):
putting a needle up my that area and she said no, no, no, no,
not not in.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
She thinks you were asking for it, she said, but
right above she said, Oh my god. Yeah, So I said,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I said, I'm not really comfortable with that, to be honest,
I don't really you know, I'm wondering if there are
there any other areas, like can I see the whole
chart there with all the little point is this?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
The guy had a Sherman Oaks called Weird Weird Larry.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Honest to god, So I did it three for four sessions.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And he put one of those needles in your tuk us.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
He did not not in your tukush. It's at the
base of your spine, but it's close enough that I
can't understand why you'd need warning. It was. It's no,
I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Right below your tramp stamp.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Exactly. That's the spot I said, that's reserved for relationships.
Did it work though, no, it didn't. You know. The
thing is, here's what happens. I was taking so much
other medicine for it, the steroids and everything to take
the inflammation down that everybody who I was being treated
by the acupunctures had two acupunctures working on me and
(13:06):
a chiropractor. They're all taking credit for me. Feeling better.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Have you always had a bad back?
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Oh, yeah, I always have. I had a bad back
when I was sixteen, but I was athletic. I just uh,
I've had real bad back issues all my life.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, is it readittard your mom data?
Speaker 4 (13:20):
No, they didn't have you know, I've got you know.
It's weird. Yeah, it's wild man, Right, I'm just the
bad one off the factory line. I see. Yeah, all right.
But anyway the answer is I still do the acupuncture
and the cupping. Have you done the cupping?
Speaker 8 (13:33):
No?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Well that's a big thing with acupuncture now they do.
The team's looking at me.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Like, dude, he didn't even want to a.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Like, well maybe that's say. No, the cupping has nothing
to do with your private parts or any of that.
It's these are glass I believe things that suck the skin.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Into your I seen that before.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Haven't you. Yeah, you've seen it. So I don't know
it works, but that's part of the acupunctual treatment.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
That's wild man. Is that working? Cupping?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
I don't like it, but I don't know. I don't
know if it's I don't know what I think the
real acupunctures time seeing now actually is making some small
like incremental improvement in my conditions.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
So all right, that's cool.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
I'll keep you posted. Why don't you just drink more?
Speaker 4 (14:17):
All right? Well I have, as you're aware, I've not.
I've not ruled that out.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, Yeah, Conway here for a special Labor Day best
of blowout sale.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Who chose this?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It's Labor Day, folks.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Conway here but a few lasts, a few chuckles from
the show. It's great if you've got the whole family
in the car and the kids are on their phones
and she's sleeping and you're awake while he listened to
this Conway show.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Mark Thompson's here.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
So we got an ice shelf that is a doomsday
ice shelf. Let's find out where that's the sucker isnt.
Speaker 11 (14:58):
In Climate Watch, wireds janu Rary cover story is taking
readers far into the mostly unknown, all the way to
Antarctica's tweets.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Glacier.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
The story tweets Narctica's tweets, Glacier tweits, Glacier tweets Glacier.
Speaker 11 (15:12):
The story the race to understand Antarctica's most terrifying glacier.
Looks at the science being used to understand the giant
glacier and hopefully slow it's collapse.
Speaker 10 (15:20):
The Waits Glacier is comparable to the size of Florida.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Wow, that's huge.
Speaker 10 (15:25):
It's like to say that it's having an impact on
rising sea levels and has impacts that can even change
the course of civilization. So John Gertner is the author
of that story and Wired, and he's also working on
his second book about the melting of the Greenland ice sheet.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Guy, he's got two books out on one one glacier. No, No,
the Greenland ice sheet is different. I think you say
he's got let me see two books on the Greenland
ice sheet.
Speaker 10 (15:51):
He's also working on his second book about the melting
of the Greenland ice sheet.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So he's done two books on the melting of a
I think he's working on a I listened to it,
listen right.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
All right, all right.
Speaker 10 (16:02):
He's also working on his second book about the melting
of the Greenland.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
These two books on that. Sorry about that, man, people
like that information. That's a lot. Yeah, got almighty. I
think there was only one book on Jesus. Was it
the Bible?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I didn't realize that. I thought there're actually there's too, right,
the Old Testament.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Yeah, just I guess just too Yeah, because I've gone
in looking for more and they said, no, we only
have two books about the Testaments. Yeah, what's your favorite?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
The older one?
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Well, you know, it depends on my mood.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Have you ever read the Bible covered.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Co I've probably knocked off every six months.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
You know, it's the only book that it is available
when you check into a hotel. You know, it's almost
in every room now, I mean it's not wild, it's
still in every room.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
And so is the Koran. Now really well, not in
every room, but I've noticed. I opened up the there
are two books in there Koran. I know that.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, get into these hotels.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Now. That'll be a third book, and it'll be about
the Ice Shelf.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah, that's right, the.
Speaker 10 (16:57):
Big Ice Shelf, which will be out this summer. That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Well, you like to she didn't think it was.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
No, that was kind of a that was a perfunctory.
Speaker 10 (17:06):
Which will be out this summer. That's interesting. It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 10 (17:11):
That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
She can't even fake it.
Speaker 10 (17:17):
Well, you like to spend time in cold places?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I do. Is that what you get at the end
of the world. Wow, it's really going to get cold.
I guess Oh, I guess.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Hot, And I like that she couldn't even get up
for it.
Speaker 10 (17:29):
That's interesting.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Do you really like to spend time? What are you
dress like with all these different places? Right?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
How can we change the pattern on your couch? Well,
I'm here to talk about the end of the world.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So go on.
Speaker 10 (17:42):
That's interesting. Well, you like to spend time in cold places?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I do.
Speaker 10 (17:47):
GE's okay, So let's talk about this glacier, which I
didn't know anything about. So give us the basics.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Wish. What a shocker.
Speaker 12 (17:53):
It's very hard to get to. Actually, only about two
dozen people have ever been there in.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Wow history to wait, dozen people have ever even seen
this glacier?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Holy smokes.
Speaker 12 (18:05):
And it's The three things I think worth knowing about
Thwaites are One is really large. It's the size of
Florida or the size of Great Britain, so it contains
an immense amount of ice, right. And the second thing
is that it's unstable. Warm otion waters are eroding the
bottom of it. So that it's starting to pull back
and retreat and collect.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Glaciers do right, The glaciers hate warm water.
Speaker 12 (18:26):
The third thing is that it's interconnected with all these
other glaciers in the same area of the sea, and
if Thwaits goes, then all of those can go as well.
So we're talking anywhere of several feet of sea level
rise to a worst case scenario something like ten feet
of sea level rise.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Wow.
Speaker 12 (18:41):
Tw what a worst case scenario? Something like ten feet
of sea level rise?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Ten foot of every ocean is going to go up
ten feet?
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Is this glacier worst case? You believe it? I guess
it's huge. You believe, no reason to doubt the guy.
But that's worst case. Maybe it'll go up seven feet
five feet.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, even if it goes up like two or three inches,
it's gonna wipe out a lot of places. Oh my god, Yes,
that's right. So we got to run. Yeah, can we
finish out here where we were in Burbank? We can
finish up tonight, but I'm not coming in tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Downtown Miami is like underwater constantly now all the time.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
The roads is that right? Well, they got it? You
gotta move, Yeah, get out there, but I'm not coming
in tomorrow. We're gonna we should go to a big bear.
Big Bear's cool, right, should be okay?
Speaker 11 (19:30):
So in your report, Wire says the demise of this
lacier could rise by more than a dozen feet.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
And this is a quote.
Speaker 11 (19:36):
When that happens, Goodbye Miami, goodbye Boston.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's really stark.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
It's stark.
Speaker 12 (19:41):
It's terrifying, sweeter and under Christ.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Has not killed its property value and BT in Miami
in Boston.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
Uh, yeah, it's bargains. You definitely would find some bargains.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Wall did you work in Miami, Krozier, do you know
people live in Miami? Yeah, my sisters live there and
they and the streets are constantly flooded.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Huh yeah, like all the time.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Yeah, it doesn't take much like of a rain to
get water two or three inches at least on the streets,
the surface streets of downtown Miami.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
So they got to be panicked over this glacier. Oh yeah, horrible.
Why isn't they want panicking.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Like I am?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Well, you guys, I'll just sit in here. We're about
to die. You guys don't care. Well, uh, you can't
like to wait to the end of the report, I
can swim. Okay, maybe there's maybe there's a surprise.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
You're waiting for the but there's one other thing.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, waiting for one one another one. Guy at the doctor.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Is there anything we can do? There is one thing. Yeah,
we could freeze it a little more.
Speaker 12 (20:45):
Streeter and under Christian, who's the main scientist in my story,
talks about it as the world's most terrifying glacier. I
think time is really important to understand in the situation.
It's not like it's going to slide into the sea
right away.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Ah okay.
Speaker 12 (21:00):
And the scientists that are studying this and that are
going to spend the next five years working on trying
to understand it better, are trying to figure out how
fast can this thing move into the ocean.
Speaker 10 (21:10):
Okay, you do a really good job at sort of
describing just how massive this is. And the challenge is do.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
A really good job, he says, the size of Florida,
right yeah, or great Britain there right wow. You do
an unbelievable job because you've related to a state here
in the United States for US, and then if you're
in Europe you good related to a great bit Britain man,
you really knocked that out.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
How long it take you to put that together?
Speaker 10 (21:33):
When it comes to you did.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
A great job. Listen to her again.
Speaker 10 (21:36):
You do a really good job at sort of describing
just how massive this is. And the challenge is when
it comes to the technology being used to understand what's happening.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Meanwhile, her, you know, the co anchor of this news
has COVID in the background.
Speaker 10 (21:50):
When it comes to the technology to the.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Got almighty, She's not worried about that guy, right, She's
worried about this glacier that's nine thousand miles from her
that isn't going to fall into the ocean for another
five years. But the guy who's got you know, covid
and and and and sneezing all over her hair where
hair's moving, she doesn't care about that guy.
Speaker 10 (22:11):
To the technology being used about.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
That that deep how about going to work with that
kind of cough And in today's day and age where
everyone is so freaked out about anyone sneezing. You know,
you you see a guy and you hear a guy
in the market sneeze. Right now, everybody looks to see
who the f that was? That's right, and this guy
has gone to work with that horse, that that deep horse.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Cough to the technology that that guy's at work.
Speaker 10 (22:36):
When it comes to the technology being wow, to the
technology being used to understand what's happening. Can you talk
a little bit about the technology?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Sure, yeah, sure, if you can get that guy out
of here, I'll talk about that glacier all day.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
But you gotta get that guy the.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
F out of here.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
That guy broke something loose.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, I don't know what the hell he has, man,
but he is not He's not going to see this
glacier fall into the ocean. He's not gonna get around
for that crap. Let's get back to this. I want
to find out what we're in for with this glacier.
I want to find out, first of all, why are
they taking it so casually. You know, obviously there's other
audio out there that people are a little more serious
(23:14):
about this.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
You'd hope these hosts are like, really light.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If this glacier is going to wipe us out, and
I believe Krozier right that Miami is already starting to
feel the effects of the sea rising, then these people
are acting real casual about the end of the world.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Here. Sure.
Speaker 12 (23:31):
And one reason it's hard to study is it's really
hard to get to Thwaites. It's eight hundred miles from
McMurdo station, so this is a really remote place.
Speaker 10 (23:38):
And when you describe getting to the McMurdo station, which
is really really remote, I thought, Okay, that's it, and
then you write and that's not it.
Speaker 12 (23:45):
There's more to go, right, Yeah, it's just a stopping
place on the way to go somewhere farther.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Tomways Show Labor Day Best Off AM six forty Labor
Day listeners.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
It's Conway here.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
We've got the greatest hits and go to bits from
this show to keep you entertained all week and long,
even if you're in bumper to bumper traffic. All right,
Angel wanted me to You wanted me to give you
a taste of me hosting the MTV Awards, and I
you know, I haven't written anything yet, but I guess
I could do that right with the hell, we'll just
(24:17):
wing it all right, It's the MTV Awards with your host,
Tim Conway.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
J MTV damn the Awards.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, it's Tim Conway. All right, thank you very much,
thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Thank you. Everybody, take your seats, thank you very much.
Speaker 8 (24:48):
All right.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
That it's a long intro.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Thank you. The paper airplane cruising around New York.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Thank you very much. All right, Tom, thank you, thank.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
You very much. All right. The MTV Awards.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
You know, I was talking to a climate activist the
other day and I said, Hey, what's your favorite movie?
And they said, Mad at Gas Cars? Mad at Gas Cars?
(25:24):
You ever heard about that movie?
Speaker 4 (25:25):
You know?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
There's a movie coming out.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
There's no new ideas, a new movie coming out called
Constipation actually never came out.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Oh did someone just have something there?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Netflix? I see a lot of the executives from Netflix.
Are you nice to see y a Netflix? Netflix?
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Is here?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
A Netflix? And I Netflix? I always ask my wife.
I go, it's not quite there yet. I always asked
my wife. I said, hey, you want to watch a
ten hour movie? And she said, no way, you gotta
be in. I said, how about if I break it
up to into ten one hour episodes and we see
them all in one sitting. She goes, I'm in a
(26:11):
lot of people got mad at the Kardashians. Oh, I
like the Kardashians, right, I don't see why so many
people are getting down on them and have issues with
the Kardashians. It's like it's like comparing it to the
Lego movie with all the plastic parts moving around. All right,
let's get to the first award here. Drew Barrymore is
(26:32):
supposed to be sliding in here, but she bailed, so
I came in to rescue the ship. The MTV Movie
and Music Awards, very first movie award is going to
Best Movie by the Way, Avatar, The Way of Water,
Black Panther, Wakanda Forever, Elvis. Nope, not my opinion of Elvis.
(26:53):
Just another movie named Nope, Scream six or four? What's
v I six? Scream six, Smile and Top Gun Maverick.
And the winner is Ladies and Gentlemen, Top Gun Maverick. Wow,
(27:14):
that's insational, Top Gun Maverick.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Everybody that's a winner.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah, yeah, actually you're pretty good, Thank.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
You very much.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I didn't I I probably could have written.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Here you hanging out in the lobby.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I have to work more with Steph Fusch on the
laugh track.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
That was some spicy sauce.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
MTV Music Awards, So it was the it was I
put that all together during commercial break. Can you imagine
if I had like an entire four hours to put
that together? Yes, oh man, to.
Speaker 10 (27:54):
Submit this audio to the producers, you might have yourself again.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, but I don't think i'd be feel comfortable walking
across the picket line. I'd have to be in the
back of some limo with the tinted windows.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Okay, we can arrange that.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Okay, I don't want them to see me in all.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, well they'll know, you know, well they mightn't know.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I don't know how bright they are, but maybe maybe
they won't be picketing on Sunday night.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Do you think they'll be picketing.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
The Awards, Yes, the MTV Awards, I think so. Oh yeah,
probably right, And then every celebrity that crosses those pickets,
that picket line, they're gonna be uh you know, yelled
at scab. That's what they still call them, right, scabs? Yeah,
they still call them scabs.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I want to see how that happens, right in a
complete show that was written, prepared, probably rehearsed, locked off,
and now they have to change everything. Everything has to
be changed without writers, You have to change everything without riders,
and you're not gonna get most select, but he's across
the picket line. So what do you get? What do
(29:02):
you get?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Show us what you got?
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Show us what you got? Sunday? When are the MTV Awards?
What time are they on MTV this year? There's another
joke a little later on in the second in the
second hour.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
You'll get that next week, all right, the MTV Awards
on MTV.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well, the CBS also owns MTV, so maybe they'll be
on CBS.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I don't know. It's Conway here best of on this
Labor Day.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Just read this.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
It's Conway, a best of on this Labor Day. The
best bites, the bold takes, and lots of laughs from
the show's archives. Perfect if you're parked in the slow lane.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Okay, I got it. Now, let's record this intro.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you
can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty
four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on
demand on the iHeartRadio app.
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on De Mayo from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Conway here for a special Labor Day best of blowout sale,
Big Labor Day blowout. This is your front row seat
to the funniest, wildest, and most memorable moments of our show.
Perfect for riding out that traffic jam. And I heard
it's crowded on the four oh five, and I heard
it's crowded on the seven to ten, and I heard
it's crowded on the one oh one, and I heard
(00:29):
it's crowded on the one ten.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Hey, but they use one of those wherever it's crowded.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
All right.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
So this is the Don Pardo Competition of Stefush. Have
you found the music without lyrics?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Sir?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Wow, you want to give us a little the music showing?
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
All right, let's you know, what's the music gonna sound like.
Let's have it in their cans?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yeah? Man, all right, guys, you want to do that
music hot? That's right, it comes on hot, buddy. Come on,
you got to bring it on a hot good all.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Right, Okay, now we're gonna flip a coin. Very exciting,
see you, very exciting. Yeah, give a coin on you.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
I don't think I do.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Nobody has coins on them anymore.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Right now, I'm.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Gonna write on a piece of paper one to ten,
and the closest to it gets to pick, all right,
one to ten?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Who goes first? Oh, you're asking me?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, no, I'm writing a number one to ten. Whoever
gets closest to the number gets to pick whether they
go first or second. All right, all right, to get
to pick who gets the number first, I'm gonna write
another number, alright, So.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
This is the number to get to the number.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
To be able to be able to get for them
next mon alright.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Mark number one, team one and ten?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
All right? Four?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Four?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Krozer? What five?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
It was three?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
So Mark goes first and picking one one to ten? Okay, okay,
all right, now mark one to ten? And what number
am I writing down?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Six? Six? Is wrong?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Crozier? Three oh seven? Mark got it.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
It's gonna be let croach, dude go first. There's no
deflector no, no, no, no no. I get the choice.
I get the choice. You're the rule? Was you get
a choice? You do? I didn't hear that part.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
We can roll it back, all right, here it is
good luck Crouch. All right, music starts here, I Don Crozer.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
It's Saturday Night Long with Danacarvey, Still Harder, Nor McDonald,
Lorraine Newman.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Eddie Murphy, Maya Rudolph.
Speaker 7 (02:59):
With music guess who and your host Steve Martin, ladies
and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 8 (03:18):
That was really good, dude, That really was you really
stuck the landing.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
That was so cool man, dude, that was really good.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Hey, I learned from the best.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
All right, Wow, that's Crozier. I don't have any water
or anything. This is tough and he was good.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Doing his Don pardell Man And now it's Mark Pardo.
All right, you ready be ready?
Speaker 4 (03:39):
All right?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Red leather, yellow leather, red leather.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Bringing that music on the hot, trying to bury my
bury me under the music. It'll be better that way.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Music starts, and here it is Mark Thompson is Don Pardo.
Speaker 8 (04:00):
It's Saturday Night Live with Tana Carvey, Phil Hartman.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
McDonald Orain Newman.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
And my thing, Myya Rudolph with musical guest Queen.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And the host Steve.
Speaker 8 (04:27):
Martin, old ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 9 (04:40):
All right, Mark, I really love what I loved about
it was your professionals some shows because you had the
just the slight little nuances that Don used.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yeah, he's got that little when he does live, he'll
go live, you know, like that that little thing.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yeah, very good.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
All right, now we all get to vote a right,
all right, let's start with Steph Roni who knocked it out?
Krozier or Mark Thompson. I liked Krozier.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Crozier, Yeah, you're sweet. I think you struck the landing.
I liked it too.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Somebody who knows there's only a guy who's here one
night a week, and a guy here is five nights,
five nights a week.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It could be a long week.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
All right, Bellio Crozier or Mark Thompson.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
I'm going with Mark.
Speaker 8 (05:30):
Mark.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Angel Martinez.
Speaker 10 (05:35):
I'm going with Crawl Crozier all right, and I'm.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Going with Mark Thompson.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
So it's so it's a dead heat.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
It's a dead heat, as it should be.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So the audience has to this, Oh my god, all right, yeah,
let's put up on Twitter?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
All right, what's up Twitter? Okay, we put the audio
up as well, or or just as soon as I
get it, we.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Will, ll right, So the audience will decide. We'll know
by ten o'clock who is the better. Don Pardoh well
they and I thought they were both really but it's
neither better.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
There was a cool individual take each of us had
on the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I thought it was great and krozer for you not
to have ever done that before tonight, exactly, that's wild. Dude, man,
that is crazy. You've got an ear for that. You
got to quit radio, make some money. I mean, you
can do impressions, dude, Yeah, you got the other What
is the other one you do? Felix the Cat. Felix
the Cat, Yeah, somebody else.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
I don't even know what Felix the Cat sounds like.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
He goes, ah, we last at the no, no, but
no you do. Who's the Martin and Lewis Jerry Lewis
right right right, that's a hot one. Right, Yeah, go
out there, Don Pardo and Jerry Lewis factory.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Have Don Pardo introduced Jerry Lewis. You come on that thing,
that impression. They turn around and they think you're Jerry Lewis. Right,
you had a cigarette. Now Jerry would play maybe older
demos on that though. Thought.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, I think it's a cruise I think you're a
you know, Alaska cruise after summer when the old people
come out. Yeah. Yeah, oh that's great though. Congratulations of
both you. You both sounded hotter.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I know it is a fierce competition, but you both
showed up. They went fifteen rounds. Yeah, you know, a
good offense takes care of a good defense. I thought
it was I thought you just let him play on
the field and the you know players will take care
of themselves.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Right.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Yeah, it was hot.
Speaker 9 (07:42):
Look, the idea of doing anything like that with with
Mark Thompson is is an achievement in my head as
far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
True.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, that's a street Conway show, Labor Day best of
our show right here on K five. Who chose this?
It's Labor Day folks Conway here with a few laughs,
a few chuckles from the show. It's great if you
got the old family in the car and the kids
are on their phones and she's sleeping and you're awake
while he listened to this.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Have you ever done hypnosis?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I did. I did hypnosis when I smoked cigarettes.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
And what did they do? It was a lady.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
She sat me down and she tried to put me
in like a trance, and she kept she I remember
she said, she said there are five hundred Oh no,
she said, all these cigarettes go to the ocean, and
five million species have been wiped out by just cigarettes alone.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And I stopped and I said, wait, wait how much?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And you know, she goes, she don't say anything, And
I said that that seems like a high number.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
What'd you say?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
You said, like five million, five million species have been
killed by cigarettes? Because yeah, five million species have been
wiped out by cigarette butts in the ocean.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I said, where'd you get that from?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
She was, You're supposed to close your eyes and just
I said, okay, but that's stat seems high.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
All right, you go right back to it, Okay, back
to wood trancing. So she kept saying, I, you know,
your lungs are going to feel like the oil in
the ocean from the exon valdis that leaked? You know,
that leaked forty billion gallons, forty billion barrels of oil
into pristine Alaskan waters. I said, how many?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Forty billion?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Seems high? And she was off with all of her way,
off with all our numbers. And so by the time
I got out of there. Before there was an office
building I remember in Sherman Oaks, and before I paid
for parking, I was smoking. I remember the guy asked me,
he goes, can you put that out while you're paying
(09:50):
for parking.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Usually it's more than one people I know who've had
successful hypnosis tree for smoking, it's more than one's thing.
Sometimes it's gonna be two or three sessions, and then
they give you like some home thing that you listen
to that that reinforces what the session was. Doesn't sound
like you had any of that.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I had nothing like that. Did you get Have you
ever had acupuncture?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Oh, I'm in the middle of it now, I've got one. Really,
I think good acupunctures to one maybe? Uh? I didn't
time about on my back from my back.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
No, whit Does accupuncture work for you?
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Hard to say because I think it does a little bit.
But it depends who's doing it. Here's the problem when
my uh, I have so many physical issues.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Did you get I give you that business card? Guy
named Steve Needles? Did you ever call him? I have
to get on that. Sorry, I've got so many other
at the track.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Steve Needles the accupuncture.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, I met at the track, Yeah, what can feel good? Guys,
hands are filthy though.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Oh yeah, that's tough. Well, it's funny you should say
that because I go to one act cupuncturist who speaks
no English, okay, So I speak to him through the
but I see, I kind of like that. That makes
it feel like it's it's the Asian arts, right, So
I speak through the nurse who also thick accent. But
(11:16):
again I love that too. And with my back, so
he was treating me for my hand. I'm having some
problems in my hand, and we go to the back
because I've had this back issue as you know, over
the last month really bad. And he said, okay, we're
going to be doing this, and there's some kind of
awkward exchange because I can't understand him, and she said,
(11:37):
he wants you to know that during this acupuncture thing,
he's going to be putting a needle and I thought
she said up your and she used the word anus okay,
which is really not something I want, regardless of how
well it works. And I said, he's going to be
(11:58):
putting a needle up my that area and she said no, no, no, no,
not not in.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
She thinks you were asking for it, she said, but
right above she said, Oh my god. Yeah, So I said,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I said, I'm not really comfortable with that, to be honest,
I don't really you know, I'm wondering if there are
there any other areas, like can I see the whole
chart there with all the little point is this?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
The guy had a Sherman Oaks called Weird Weird Larry.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Honest to god, So I did it three for four sessions.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And he put one of those needles in your tuk us.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
He did not not in your tukush. It's at the
base of your spine, but it's close enough that I
can't understand why you'd need warning. It was. It's no,
I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Right below your tramp stamp.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Exactly. That's the spot I said, that's reserved for relationships.
Did it work though, no, it didn't. You know. The
thing is, here's what happens. I was taking so much
other medicine for it, the steroids and everything to take
the inflammation down that everybody who I was being treated
by the acupunctures had two acupunctures working on me and
(13:06):
a chiropractor. They're all taking credit for me. Feeling better.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Have you always had a bad back?
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Oh, yeah, I always have. I had a bad back
when I was sixteen, but I was athletic. I just uh,
I've had real bad back issues all my life.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, is it readittard your mom data?
Speaker 4 (13:20):
No, they didn't have you know, I've got you know.
It's weird. Yeah, it's wild man, Right, I'm just the
bad one off the factory line. I see. Yeah, all right.
But anyway the answer is I still do the acupuncture
and the cupping. Have you done the cupping?
Speaker 8 (13:33):
No?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Well that's a big thing with acupuncture now they do.
The team's looking at me.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Like, dude, he didn't even want to a.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Like, well maybe that's say. No, the cupping has nothing
to do with your private parts or any of that.
It's these are glass I believe things that suck the skin.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Into your I seen that before.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Haven't you. Yeah, you've seen it. So I don't know
it works, but that's part of the acupunctual treatment.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
That's wild man. Is that working? Cupping?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
I don't like it, but I don't know. I don't
know if it's I don't know what I think the
real acupunctures time seeing now actually is making some small
like incremental improvement in my conditions.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
So all right, that's cool.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
I'll keep you posted. Why don't you just drink more?
Speaker 4 (14:17):
All right? Well I have, as you're aware, I've not.
I've not ruled that out.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, Yeah, Conway here for a special Labor Day best
of blowout sale.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Who chose this?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It's Labor Day, folks.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Conway here but a few lasts, a few chuckles from
the show. It's great if you've got the whole family
in the car and the kids are on their phones
and she's sleeping and you're awake while he listened to
this Conway show.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Mark Thompson's here.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
So we got an ice shelf that is a doomsday
ice shelf. Let's find out where that's the sucker isnt.
Speaker 11 (14:58):
In Climate Watch, wireds janu Rary cover story is taking
readers far into the mostly unknown, all the way to
Antarctica's tweets.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Glacier.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
The story tweets Narctica's tweets, Glacier tweits, Glacier tweets Glacier.
Speaker 11 (15:12):
The story the race to understand Antarctica's most terrifying glacier.
Looks at the science being used to understand the giant
glacier and hopefully slow it's collapse.
Speaker 10 (15:20):
The Waits Glacier is comparable to the size of Florida.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Wow, that's huge.
Speaker 10 (15:25):
It's like to say that it's having an impact on
rising sea levels and has impacts that can even change
the course of civilization. So John Gertner is the author
of that story and Wired, and he's also working on
his second book about the melting of the Greenland ice sheet.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Guy, he's got two books out on one one glacier. No, No,
the Greenland ice sheet is different. I think you say
he's got let me see two books on the Greenland
ice sheet.
Speaker 10 (15:51):
He's also working on his second book about the melting
of the Greenland ice sheet.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So he's done two books on the melting of a
I think he's working on a I listened to it,
listen right.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
All right, all right.
Speaker 10 (16:02):
He's also working on his second book about the melting
of the Greenland.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
These two books on that. Sorry about that, man, people
like that information. That's a lot. Yeah, got almighty. I
think there was only one book on Jesus. Was it
the Bible?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I didn't realize that. I thought there're actually there's too, right,
the Old Testament.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Yeah, just I guess just too Yeah, because I've gone
in looking for more and they said, no, we only
have two books about the Testaments. Yeah, what's your favorite?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
The older one?
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Well, you know, it depends on my mood.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Have you ever read the Bible covered.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Co I've probably knocked off every six months.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
You know, it's the only book that it is available
when you check into a hotel. You know, it's almost
in every room now, I mean it's not wild, it's
still in every room.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
And so is the Koran. Now really well, not in
every room, but I've noticed. I opened up the there
are two books in there Koran. I know that.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, get into these hotels.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Now. That'll be a third book, and it'll be about
the Ice Shelf.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah, that's right, the.
Speaker 10 (16:57):
Big Ice Shelf, which will be out this summer. That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Well, you like to she didn't think it was.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
No, that was kind of a that was a perfunctory.
Speaker 10 (17:06):
Which will be out this summer. That's interesting. It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 10 (17:11):
That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
She can't even fake it.
Speaker 10 (17:17):
Well, you like to spend time in cold places?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I do. Is that what you get at the end
of the world. Wow, it's really going to get cold.
I guess Oh, I guess.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Hot, And I like that she couldn't even get up
for it.
Speaker 10 (17:29):
That's interesting.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Do you really like to spend time? What are you
dress like with all these different places? Right?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
How can we change the pattern on your couch? Well,
I'm here to talk about the end of the world.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So go on.
Speaker 10 (17:42):
That's interesting. Well, you like to spend time in cold places?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I do.
Speaker 10 (17:47):
GE's okay, So let's talk about this glacier, which I
didn't know anything about. So give us the basics.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Wish. What a shocker.
Speaker 12 (17:53):
It's very hard to get to. Actually, only about two
dozen people have ever been there in.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Wow history to wait, dozen people have ever even seen
this glacier?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Holy smokes.
Speaker 12 (18:05):
And it's The three things I think worth knowing about
Thwaites are One is really large. It's the size of
Florida or the size of Great Britain, so it contains
an immense amount of ice, right. And the second thing
is that it's unstable. Warm otion waters are eroding the
bottom of it. So that it's starting to pull back
and retreat and collect.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Glaciers do right, The glaciers hate warm water.
Speaker 12 (18:26):
The third thing is that it's interconnected with all these
other glaciers in the same area of the sea, and
if Thwaits goes, then all of those can go as well.
So we're talking anywhere of several feet of sea level
rise to a worst case scenario something like ten feet
of sea level rise.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Wow.
Speaker 12 (18:41):
Tw what a worst case scenario? Something like ten feet
of sea level rise?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Ten foot of every ocean is going to go up
ten feet?
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Is this glacier worst case? You believe it? I guess
it's huge. You believe, no reason to doubt the guy.
But that's worst case. Maybe it'll go up seven feet
five feet.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, even if it goes up like two or three inches,
it's gonna wipe out a lot of places. Oh my god, Yes,
that's right. So we got to run. Yeah, can we
finish out here where we were in Burbank? We can
finish up tonight, but I'm not coming in tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Downtown Miami is like underwater constantly now all the time.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
The roads is that right? Well, they got it? You
gotta move, Yeah, get out there, but I'm not coming
in tomorrow. We're gonna we should go to a big bear.
Big Bear's cool, right, should be okay?
Speaker 11 (19:30):
So in your report, Wire says the demise of this
lacier could rise by more than a dozen feet.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
And this is a quote.
Speaker 11 (19:36):
When that happens, Goodbye Miami, goodbye Boston.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's really stark.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
It's stark.
Speaker 12 (19:41):
It's terrifying, sweeter and under Christ.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Has not killed its property value and BT in Miami
in Boston.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
Uh, yeah, it's bargains. You definitely would find some bargains.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Wall did you work in Miami, Krozier, do you know
people live in Miami? Yeah, my sisters live there and
they and the streets are constantly flooded.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Huh yeah, like all the time.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Yeah, it doesn't take much like of a rain to
get water two or three inches at least on the streets,
the surface streets of downtown Miami.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
So they got to be panicked over this glacier. Oh yeah, horrible.
Why isn't they want panicking.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Like I am?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Well, you guys, I'll just sit in here. We're about
to die. You guys don't care. Well, uh, you can't
like to wait to the end of the report, I
can swim. Okay, maybe there's maybe there's a surprise.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
You're waiting for the but there's one other thing.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, waiting for one one another one. Guy at the doctor.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Is there anything we can do? There is one thing. Yeah,
we could freeze it a little more.
Speaker 12 (20:45):
Streeter and under Christian, who's the main scientist in my story,
talks about it as the world's most terrifying glacier. I
think time is really important to understand in the situation.
It's not like it's going to slide into the sea
right away.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Ah okay.
Speaker 12 (21:00):
And the scientists that are studying this and that are
going to spend the next five years working on trying
to understand it better, are trying to figure out how
fast can this thing move into the ocean.
Speaker 10 (21:10):
Okay, you do a really good job at sort of
describing just how massive this is. And the challenge is do.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
A really good job, he says, the size of Florida,
right yeah, or great Britain there right wow. You do
an unbelievable job because you've related to a state here
in the United States for US, and then if you're
in Europe you good related to a great bit Britain man,
you really knocked that out.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
How long it take you to put that together?
Speaker 10 (21:33):
When it comes to you did.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
A great job. Listen to her again.
Speaker 10 (21:36):
You do a really good job at sort of describing
just how massive this is. And the challenge is when
it comes to the technology being used to understand what's happening.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Meanwhile, her, you know, the co anchor of this news
has COVID in the background.
Speaker 10 (21:50):
When it comes to the technology to the.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Got almighty, She's not worried about that guy, right, She's
worried about this glacier that's nine thousand miles from her
that isn't going to fall into the ocean for another
five years. But the guy who's got you know, covid
and and and and sneezing all over her hair where
hair's moving, she doesn't care about that guy.
Speaker 10 (22:11):
To the technology being used about.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
That that deep how about going to work with that
kind of cough And in today's day and age where
everyone is so freaked out about anyone sneezing. You know,
you you see a guy and you hear a guy
in the market sneeze. Right now, everybody looks to see
who the f that was? That's right, and this guy
has gone to work with that horse, that that deep horse.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Cough to the technology that that guy's at work.
Speaker 10 (22:36):
When it comes to the technology being wow, to the
technology being used to understand what's happening. Can you talk
a little bit about the technology?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Sure, yeah, sure, if you can get that guy out
of here, I'll talk about that glacier all day.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
But you gotta get that guy the.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
F out of here.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
That guy broke something loose.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, I don't know what the hell he has, man,
but he is not He's not going to see this
glacier fall into the ocean. He's not gonna get around
for that crap. Let's get back to this. I want
to find out what we're in for with this glacier.
I want to find out, first of all, why are
they taking it so casually. You know, obviously there's other
audio out there that people are a little more serious
(23:14):
about this.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
You'd hope these hosts are like, really light.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If this glacier is going to wipe us out, and
I believe Krozier right that Miami is already starting to
feel the effects of the sea rising, then these people
are acting real casual about the end of the world.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Here. Sure.
Speaker 12 (23:31):
And one reason it's hard to study is it's really
hard to get to Thwaites. It's eight hundred miles from
McMurdo station, so this is a really remote place.
Speaker 10 (23:38):
And when you describe getting to the McMurdo station, which
is really really remote, I thought, Okay, that's it, and
then you write and that's not it.
Speaker 12 (23:45):
There's more to go, right, Yeah, it's just a stopping
place on the way to go somewhere farther.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Tomways Show Labor Day Best Off AM six forty Labor
Day listeners.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
It's Conway here.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
We've got the greatest hits and go to bits from
this show to keep you entertained all week and long,
even if you're in bumper to bumper traffic. All right,
Angel wanted me to You wanted me to give you
a taste of me hosting the MTV Awards, and I
you know, I haven't written anything yet, but I guess
I could do that right with the hell, we'll just
(24:17):
wing it all right, It's the MTV Awards with your host,
Tim Conway.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
J MTV damn the Awards.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, it's Tim Conway. All right, thank you very much,
thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Thank you. Everybody, take your seats, thank you very much.
Speaker 8 (24:48):
All right.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
That it's a long intro.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Thank you. The paper airplane cruising around New York.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Thank you very much. All right, Tom, thank you, thank.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
You very much. All right. The MTV Awards.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
You know, I was talking to a climate activist the
other day and I said, Hey, what's your favorite movie?
And they said, Mad at Gas Cars? Mad at Gas Cars?
(25:24):
You ever heard about that movie?
Speaker 4 (25:25):
You know?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
There's a movie coming out.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
There's no new ideas, a new movie coming out called
Constipation actually never came out.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Oh did someone just have something there?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Netflix? I see a lot of the executives from Netflix.
Are you nice to see y a Netflix? Netflix?
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Is here?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
A Netflix? And I Netflix? I always ask my wife.
I go, it's not quite there yet. I always asked
my wife. I said, hey, you want to watch a
ten hour movie? And she said, no way, you gotta
be in. I said, how about if I break it
up to into ten one hour episodes and we see
them all in one sitting. She goes, I'm in a
(26:11):
lot of people got mad at the Kardashians. Oh, I
like the Kardashians, right, I don't see why so many
people are getting down on them and have issues with
the Kardashians. It's like it's like comparing it to the
Lego movie with all the plastic parts moving around. All right,
let's get to the first award here. Drew Barrymore is
(26:32):
supposed to be sliding in here, but she bailed, so
I came in to rescue the ship. The MTV Movie
and Music Awards, very first movie award is going to
Best Movie by the Way, Avatar, The Way of Water,
Black Panther, Wakanda Forever, Elvis. Nope, not my opinion of Elvis.
(26:53):
Just another movie named Nope, Scream six or four? What's
v I six? Scream six, Smile and Top Gun Maverick.
And the winner is Ladies and Gentlemen, Top Gun Maverick. Wow,
(27:14):
that's insational, Top Gun Maverick.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Everybody that's a winner.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah, yeah, actually you're pretty good, Thank.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
You very much.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I didn't I I probably could have written.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Here you hanging out in the lobby.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I have to work more with Steph Fusch on the
laugh track.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
That was some spicy sauce.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
MTV Music Awards, So it was the it was I
put that all together during commercial break. Can you imagine
if I had like an entire four hours to put
that together? Yes, oh man, to.
Speaker 10 (27:54):
Submit this audio to the producers, you might have yourself again.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, but I don't think i'd be feel comfortable walking
across the picket line. I'd have to be in the
back of some limo with the tinted windows.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Okay, we can arrange that.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Okay, I don't want them to see me in all.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, well they'll know, you know, well they mightn't know.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I don't know how bright they are, but maybe maybe
they won't be picketing on Sunday night.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Do you think they'll be picketing.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
The Awards, Yes, the MTV Awards, I think so. Oh yeah,
probably right, And then every celebrity that crosses those pickets,
that picket line, they're gonna be uh you know, yelled
at scab. That's what they still call them, right, scabs? Yeah,
they still call them scabs.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I want to see how that happens, right in a
complete show that was written, prepared, probably rehearsed, locked off,
and now they have to change everything. Everything has to
be changed without writers, You have to change everything without riders,
and you're not gonna get most select, but he's across
the picket line. So what do you get? What do
(29:02):
you get?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Show us what you got?
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Show us what you got? Sunday? When are the MTV Awards?
What time are they on MTV this year? There's another
joke a little later on in the second in the
second hour.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
You'll get that next week, all right, the MTV Awards
on MTV.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well, the CBS also owns MTV, so maybe they'll be
on CBS.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I don't know. It's Conway here best of on this
Labor Day.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Just read this.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
It's Conway, a best of on this Labor Day. The
best bites, the bold takes, and lots of laughs from
the show's archives. Perfect if you're parked in the slow lane.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Okay, I got it. Now, let's record this intro.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you
can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty
four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on
demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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