July 24, 2025 • 33 mins
Tim opens Hour 2 with tales from the return counter—Costco style—and shares wild audio of a customer seriously milking the store’s famously generous policy. Then it’s back to Tim’s war on bad nicknames, as he laments the rise of “Cali” while doubling down on Mayor Bass’s beloved “Angelenos.” From there, it’s Christmas in July at Hobby Lobby, and Tim shares his surprising depth of tariff knowledge (and deep offense at premature holiday shopping). Later, Tim gets roasted on AM 570’s Petros and Money Show for his hot dog steamer purchase and gives one more shoutout to the real star of the night—those finely chopped onions. Finally, he revisits the latest mockery of The Duke of Sports and his misadventures in the Gary and Shannon dating game.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to the
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I recently
went to Costco to make a return and the line
was about twenty people deep, but it rolls. It was
less than five minutes. And when you get to the front,
(00:20):
there's no bickering or you know, crazy eyeball, you know
what's going on with you in this product. They just return,
they take returns. I saw a guy returning what looked
like a hundred light bulbs, and I'm thinking, wow, I
got about a hundred light bulbs and none of them fit.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Now he's returning all of them.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And what he probably did is he, you know, works
in an apartment building or condo whatever office building, took
all the old light bulbs out that are broken and
put the new ones in, put the old ones in
the packet and send them back to what Costco. That
happens all the time at home depot lows everything he
brought back to battle old ones. Yeah, yeah, I think
(01:02):
for sure he did that. And I don't know you
know how people do that, but they do it. They
do it, and I you know, when you buy something
like it at a big box store, like you're buying
a sprinkler head or whatever. You got to open up
and look at it, because a lot of people return
them broken and then they're just put back on the shelf.
(01:22):
Just yeah, and so you really got to look and
investigate or else you're going to be stuck with that
busted one. But Costco returns Costco customers testing the limits
of their risk free returns.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, risk free at Costco.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
In TikToker, Evelyn Juarez saw that her toddler had done this.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Looking with this human that Jilani, she puts slime, Oh
my carpet.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
She thought the Costco rug she bought just four months
ago was this sunk cost I like gas.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
I try to scrape off the slime with my nails.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Nothing works, But then she says she remembered the company's
risk free return policy.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
I'm kind of nervous to ask, well, we're gonna see. Yeah,
so how's a stain on it? And I can't take
it out?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
That's fun.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
To her amazement, she says, it worked.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Wow, man, oh man, where does that? Where does that
loss get absorbed? Guys like us probably.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
They give me a full refund like, Okay, Costco, you
want to forever member.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Evelyn's return just one apparent example of the company's famous
risk free, one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed to members, allowing
customers to return almost anything.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And they do.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
If you've seen that line, that return line, that's the
longest line at Costco.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
With some exceptions for things like diamonds and alcohol and
cigarettes and airline or concert tickets. Influencers online documenting how
far that policy can.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Be Wait, what are what are things they won't return?
Speaker 6 (02:57):
Some exceptions for things like diamonds.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
You can't return a diamond. Yeah, what the hell? Diamonds
keep their value. Can't return a diamond? That's odd. Alcohol
and cigarettes, I get that. I get that.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Liquor, Well, you don't have it if they open it
and they filled with you know, they drink all the
gin and then they filled it up with tea or
water or whatever, Coca cola and here's your bottle of
seagrums bag.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
And airline or concert tickets. Influencers are online documenting how
far that policy.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Can be put.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Hey, Steff, you probably know the answer to this.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Who was it on the Woody Show to return to
slice of pizza? That was SeaBASS, Sea bass. What he
just had one pepperoni left.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
He ate an entire slice and left one pepperoni and
they took it back. Wow, Wow, Wow, push house of.
Speaker 7 (03:46):
A chicken bake and to my surprise, they let me
return it.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Returning weeks old flowers.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I hate to say this, but I've been right one
hundred percent of the time. Guys like this are going
to change that policy. Guy that buys the you know,
the chicken wrap takes half of it down and then
returns it. This is going to change the policy and
we're all going to get screwed because of guys like this.
Speaker 7 (04:11):
Half of a chicken bake and to my surprise, they
let me return it.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Okay, all right, it's the beginning of the end for Costco.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
You better get returns in now because these guys are
going to destroy it for everybody turning weeks old flowers.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
It's my surprise.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
They're letting me return the dead flowers, and I got
my money back.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Slip and Slide inflatable water toys.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
We no longer speak quickly, We.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
No longer can put thoughts together like rather regular human beings.
God a mighty the latency with this woman.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, yeah, no longer no longer what what? What? What?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
What?
Speaker 8 (04:52):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
No longer what? Oh no longer want this?
Speaker 9 (04:55):
It sounds like she was trying to come up with
a good reason, something good that would be you know,
valid to.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Say, and she just ended up with right because she
has no real training when it comes to improv none, yes,
just void.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Even an air conditioner. After this summer ended, the.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Greatest ices bringing back years old couches turning into a
trend of its own, one hundred dollars back after four years.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Okay, it's going away. It's going away. Despicable, yeah, and
so bad. But it's going to ruin it for everybody.
This is how things get ruined for everybody. You know,
when I was a kid, you can go into any restaurant,
use the bathroom, and now you have to be a
customer because a guy went in with a baseball bat
and busted the place.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Up, exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Or when I was a kid, when I first started driving,
and it's at sixteen, you go to a gas station,
you pump your gas, and then you go into the
gas to the office or you know, the gas station itself,
the cashier, and you say, how was on pumped thirteen.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Here's eighteen dollars and fifty cents.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
They they it was on an honor system. But then
people would fill up their car and pull away without paying.
So now you got to go into the gas station
way behind the lottery guys, guys who are buying lottery tickets.
Then you got to pay. Then you got to go
back in to get your change. That it's the pain
in the ass. So people ruin great things, and these
(06:20):
guys going to Costco are going to destroy the great
return policy that Costco has. It's coming to an end.
They can't absorb all these losses.
Speaker 10 (06:27):
Costco because they have a membership fee that's a huge
part of their profit margin, so they have more wiggle
room than a classic retailer, for example, to have a
generous return policy, and it is a calling card of theirs.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Some of the stunts, including Gua Ras is getting a
lot of flack in the comments with some TikTokers worrying
returns like hers would increase prices for them if too
many people did the same thing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
That's right, that's going to happen.
Speaker 10 (06:53):
The more people who take advantage of generous return policies,
the more likely it is that these generals were turn
policies are going to change or be taken away.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Did you hear that? That's exactly what I said, in
different terms, different words. But idiots like this, like you know,
the couch returner, the guy returning, you know, the dead flowers,
the dead plants, all that stuff. It's going to destroy
Costco for all of us, all of us. Listen again,
it's very important.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
The more people who take advantage of generous return policies,
the more likely it is that these generous return policies
are going to change or be taken away.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Costco not immediately responding to a request for comment, Waz
saying the return was it one off for her that
now I.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Feel guilty into buying way more things with them. I
feel into spending more to make up for what I
returned with Dennis get in there.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And she's already back in the aisles spending more, All
right with that?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Steve Patterson, he joins us night from Los Angeles. Steve,
this is a wild story.
Speaker 11 (07:55):
Has Costco said anything about whether.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
These return videos could spark a change in their paw?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You know, Tom, we haven't heard anything from the company
on that front. Just yet, but we should say that
Costco can cancel any membership for any reason at any time,
and there's recent histories of retailers targeting individual memberships without
changing the entire policies when something like this happened.
Speaker 6 (08:17):
So the expert there.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Says, it's probably not a bad idea just to return
things when you need to, rather than trying to.
Speaker 6 (08:23):
Abuse the policy.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh that's a great move. I bet Costco starts doing that.
You return too much crap, you know, a couch that's
five years old, and they're gonna and they're going to
reject you and terminate your membership.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
I was going to say, Costco is usually pretty good
with that sort of stuff, and I would hope that
they would come up with a reasonable answer to it
rather than an end all, you know answer.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, but this makes sense, gros.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Look, if you belong to a I don't know, a
country club, and every time you went to the country club,
you took a golf club and you know, beat up
the locker room. Eventually they'd throw you out like that.
That professional golfer at Oakmond in Pittsburgh or in somewhere
in Pennsylvania, he took he went to Oakmont which is
(09:08):
one of the oldest golf courses in America. And he
got pissed after he missed the cut, and he took
a golf club and he banged up the locker room,
which has been around since nineteen oh three, and they
kicked him out. They threw him out of Oakmond. He
can't go back, damn right. So I think that's what's
gonna happen. I think they're going to kick people out
of Costco for abusing the system.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
They're gonna have to, and I hope they do.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And how embarrassing though, when you get your card rechecked,
you know, all of a sudden, you have a card
and you like, no, sir, and they ask you escort
you out, like the pizza guy escorts you out.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
You're out, You're out, Bud the.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
Higher or the eye Glasgow, yeah, right, exactly, dude making
the chickens in the back, yeah ye Glasgow, Yeah, you're
oh yeah, or the you know, the free samples guy
is going to escort your your ass out.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I hope they do that, so it saves it for
everybody else.
Speaker 9 (09:58):
People on the way out, all the rest of the people.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
What did you do you abuse the system? You knew
the rules, you knew the boundaries. Mahalo and you're gone.
Speaker 11 (10:07):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
All right, we've heard of the term that mayor Bass uses,
and almost exclusively. I've not heard anybody else use this
term Angelinos. I've been here a long time, never ever
heard anyone refer to anybody else ass as Angelino's. But
there's another one with I think less controversy. People who
(10:34):
refer to people who live in California or the state
as Cali.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I've heard that before. I've heard Cali.
Speaker 12 (10:42):
Here's a good long term debate. There are still people
out there using an often hated, cringey.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Nickname for the Golden State.
Speaker 12 (10:48):
They say, tell me you're definitely not of this place
when you call it Cali. The debate rages on quietly
here in their SF Gate, a publication from San Francisco
pulled its staff members, finding that they overwhelmingly hate using calli.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I don't mind CALLI. I've heard it before.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I think it came out of I don't know, like
southern California, ocean side La Joya Long Beach, one of
those areas.
Speaker 12 (11:14):
We pulled our newsroom. The results are at the end
of this story. On Reddit, though some say tourists are
the only people who call it Cali, that is a fact,
another says they do often hear it used in South
Central and somebody from Long Beach who has said CALLI
their whole life says, quote, I'm from Long Beach and
I've said CALLI my whole life.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I think it came from Long Beach. I think that
originally CALLI came from Long Beach.
Speaker 12 (11:35):
Cali likely came about because of hip hop. It didn't
exist much before the eighties, likely because it's easier to
rhyme than California. Biggie ll cool J made it huge
despite being New Yorkers.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
But what was the song We're going back to Cali, cally,
We're going back to CALLI yo.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I don't think so, Yes, CALLI.
Speaker 12 (11:55):
But it would make sense that like cool J would
say CALLI because even.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
The man's name is an abbreviation.
Speaker 12 (12:00):
Now, even though it's l J cool Ju, even though
it is in a lot of rap songs, you see Berkeley,
professor of African American English, says it's still not widely
used in the black community. Now again, Berkeley Up North.
Maybe it's an old Holso.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Wait, somebody has that title, even though it.
Speaker 12 (12:16):
Is in a lot of rap songs, you see. Berkeley
Professor of African American English.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Wait, there's There's English and then African American English.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Is that? Is that what somebody's teaching.
Speaker 12 (12:27):
UC Berkeley, Professor of African American English says it's still
not widely used in the black community. Now again, Berkeley
up North, Maybe it's an old Calso cal thing. La
Time says Cali might be heard more as an adjective
that Cali vibe, cali, tacos, et cetera. Probably though a
generational thing, with younger people using it more frequently other ones.
(12:48):
You can be sure to make you a poser if
you call it.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
COMMI where are you from?
Speaker 13 (12:54):
My dad?
Speaker 12 (12:55):
La La Land San fran or they God help you.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Frisco?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh yeah, they hate Frisco. That's why I use it
all the time. Frisco's bad. And also Angelino's is the worst. Angelinos. Oh, babu.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I've noticed this that the I was at Costco last night.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
The Halloween stuff is out already, and in some places
I think it's a hobby lobby that they already have
Christmas out.
Speaker 14 (13:24):
It's never too early to get in the Christmas spirit.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I think there's a debate on that. I think there's
a debate. When you have Christmas in July. I think
that might be a little early.
Speaker 14 (13:34):
But despite the sizzling summer heat, Christmas is just twenty
two weeks away, and some budget conscious shoppers are already
hunting for the perfect presence.
Speaker 15 (13:44):
It's the beginning of summer and I'm already buying Christmas gifts.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
And with good Oh who does that? God Almighty?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I mean, give yourself a break in life where it's
July and you're already nose deep into Christmas gifts.
Speaker 15 (13:56):
It's the beginning of summer and I'm already buying Christmas gifts.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
How do you know who you're going to be friends
with come Christmas? You know? Or who in the family
you're gonna be talking to at Christmas.
Speaker 15 (14:06):
It's the beginning of summer and I'm marty buying Christmas gifts.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
And with good reason.
Speaker 14 (14:10):
With the ongoing trade war, toys could get much more
expensive as the holidays approach. Toymaker has Bro warning consumers
some must have items could be out of stock if
you wait too long to get them.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
So like a Plaano Barbie, an animals a baby ev.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I've never heard of that. Plato Barbie, Plato Barbie. I
need to know more.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
An animals a baby ev.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You know, if you're a mom or a dad, you're
probably gonna want to go and buy that early.
Speaker 14 (14:37):
China, which currently makes about eighty percent of the toys
sold in the US, is facing a thirty percent tare
from the Trump administration That not only means prices will
be higher, but toy production that usually ramps up in
April was delayed until late May. Hillary Key is the
owner of the Toy Chest in Nashville, Indiana. She says
shoppers are eager to cross gifts off their Christmas list
much earlier than usual.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You know a lot of people are unaware. I know,
it's unbelieved.
Speaker 9 (15:01):
It like an adult store.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah right, yeah, and then played o'barbie too. What's at
the toy chests with played o'barbie? It's going on with you.
But a lot of people don't understand tariffs like I do.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I used to.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I was at I studied tariffs in high school and
then in college. You're a numbers guy, Yeah, mostly African
American tariffs. But I will say that, like Nike buys
a pair of shoes from China, did they sell over
here for one hundred and fifty bucks? They import him
(15:34):
from China for about twelve to fifty maybe fifteen dollars,
And so a thirty percent tariff on fifteen dollars is
what three dollars? I think it's three dollars, three to
fifty maybe four dollars, And so that tariff is not
half of the price of one hundred and fifty dollars shoe,
it's only the tariff only is on the China to
(15:56):
Los Angeles or China the United States on that run.
So Nike buys shoes for fifteen bucks and sells them
for one hundred and fifty, that's the markup. Sorry, kids,
you you're there. You're the kids that started that. I
didn't start it. You did. So if you're complaining about
the price of Nikes, you are responsible, not me.
Speaker 16 (16:17):
You.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So if they buy a pair of shoes from China
for fifteen bucks and they sell for one hundred and fifty,
the tariff on that is only four dollars.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I know it seems high.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But it's only four dollars, so Nike could eat the
entire tariff and still make a boatload of money, which
they might do.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
They might, they might. Oh Right's get back to the
story here with the wackiness of the tariffs.
Speaker 14 (16:39):
Is that leading people to do a little bit of
wacky Christmas shopping as early as July?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
No, because people don't understand tariffs like I do. That's
what's going on.
Speaker 15 (16:46):
It definitely is. I'd say we've wrapped over one hundred
presents in the Christmas and holiday wrapping paper, and.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So that's where do you keep them? I mean what
you're having?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
You know, you have thirty gifts purchased already for family
and friends. Where in the house you can hide them
from everybody? And who has that kind of room where
you can have you can store thirty gifts in your
house that are pre wrapped for Christmas? Man, don't you
want to wait until it cools down to get in spirit?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You know?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Christmas is about the feeling about the season. It's not
It's not a three hundred and sixty five day event.
God Almighty. People they're just always searching for the next thing.
They can never be in the moment. The zen moment
always have to be like six months ahead. It's outrageous.
Speaker 11 (17:30):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Hey, we are mentioned on another radio station and we
always like to play it when we're mentioned. And it
was those young men over at KLAC five seventy am,
Petros and Money, Matt Money Smith, Petros Papadekas from sam
Pedro for the San Pedro area. And by the way,
(18:01):
I had lunch with a friend of mine. I don't
want to name drop, but he's the chief of police
in Huntington Beach. Eric Para, Chief Para, and we ate
at the Harbor House in Sunset Beach. And that guy's
got it going on. He spent a lot of time
with the Sheriff's Department as a deputy. Then there was
(18:22):
like five or six different cities that wanted him to
be the chief. He picked Huntington Beach and he's got
it made in Huntington Beach. When you're the chief, you're
the king of the road. Everybody in Huntington Beach ninety
eight percent, I should say in Huntington Beach. People live there,
they respect the cops, They support the cops. They say
(18:44):
hi to the cops. They don't s on the cops.
They have a great relationship with law enforcement. Ninety eight
percent of the people live in Huntington Beach. Now you
still get two percent a holes, you know, who always
hate the cops. That's everywhere. But they got it going
on in Huntington Beach. And I don't know why I
(19:08):
mentioned that, but I did. So there you go. Anyway,
Let's get back to this Petro some money. Oh, this
is why I mentioned it because Chief Parr grew up
in sam Pedro and he remembers Petro's Papadeka's restaurant that
his dad owned, Johnny p Johnny Papadeka's, and said, man,
that was one of the greatest restaurants in the world.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
He goes, I don't know why they closed down.
Speaker 9 (19:32):
That's a huge regret for me, not ever having made that.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I never went there either, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
They closed it down a year after I started here,
and I never got down there. Well I don't feel
so bad then, But it sounds like a big party
every night. Yeah, it totally does. Yeah, man, I wish
I got down there, I really do. You know, real
quickly I ranted to Tim Kates. He's got a new
client over there called taffy Town. Oh is that what
that's about. Yeah, that's saltwater taffy. I don't think anything
(19:59):
in the world is better than not free gluten free
saltwater taffy.
Speaker 9 (20:04):
Sounds delicious.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Yeah, be bellio please, she sounds, she goes. It sounds
like you're trying to steal their client. No, I'm just
telling you it's not free gluten free orange cream taffy Town.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
I like it. It's very good. It's insensational. All right.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
This Petros Papadagas and Matt Muney Smith talking about the
Conway Show and Eric Sklar, who's the producer of the
John Colebelt Show. Here we go ding dong with the
two of them. Here we go, Petro some money at
five seventy LA Sports.
Speaker 13 (20:33):
Let's hear it from Matt mney Smith, Ladies and gentlemen,
whose hot dog steamer has now reached the influence of
our own Tim Conway Junior I purchased his own hot
dog steamer.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Just like the exact same steamer. So that's not our steamer, No,
that is their steamer purchased. He sent me a text.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
He's like, oh no, okay, this is gonna get me
in trouble because I got real lazy over the weekend
and I have always been in love with Matt money Smith.
It's steamer, his hot dog steamer, and I didn't want
to look for it. I don't want to go to
Target and Walmart and search up the aisles, so.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I just text.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
So I go, hey, Bob, I'm sorry, I can't find
that steamer. Where'd you get that? And literally a second
later he sends me the link to Amazon ready to go. Yeah,
it's the first thing that pops up when you put
in steamer.
Speaker 9 (21:22):
He should be getting some sort of a commission off
of those.
Speaker 8 (21:24):
And you hate when people text you asking questions They
can just look up themselves.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Right, I hate that.
Speaker 8 (21:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I don't hate when I do it, I hate when
other people do it. Rules for you, Yeah, you can have.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Rules for yourself and not for everybody else, or for
everybody else and not for yourself one hundred percent. That's
what That's what it's all. Life is all about. Hypocrisy.
And yeah, that's true. We're all hypocrites, and sometimes you
like to display your hypocrisy, you know, and then I
just displayed by an over the weekend. I felt great
about it. I was like a spreading my wings of hypocrisy.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
He sent me a text, He's like, hey, bup, that's true.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I send him in Tech, going, hey Bob, where do
I get that steamer?
Speaker 7 (22:06):
He sent me a text He's like, hey, bup, hey,
ding dog, where can I find one of those steamers?
And I sent him the link to Amazon. How'd you
find that?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Bubb?
Speaker 7 (22:16):
To Amazon and typed in hot dog steamer And this
is the first steamer came up. He's like, my bad,
bub should have known that he sent you the link.
Now I have the exact same hot dogs. They're all
du sports in our window.
Speaker 13 (22:28):
Well, yeah, that's the number of the day or word
of the day. Excuse me, he's standing right there. Yeah,
bring him in the word of the day. But thank
you for the steamer, everybody. We will have Sean Merriman
dog in the very next segment. Yeah, Tim Conway, I
wonder how many stuffush is gonna be.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean fresh.
Speaker 7 (22:42):
I don't know who chopped the onions, but they did
a hell of a job. Shopped Crozier.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Notice when I'm eating tech Krozier noticed, Steph Fuche note
is belly O noticed?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Did they are freshly cut?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
And the King of all hot dogs about money Smith
notice as well. I bought the onions last night from
Smart and Final to sweet Onions at Smart and Final
sweet onon Oh yeah, and for Dugo and Hollywood Way
not the Mauie sweet onion.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
No, no to me, No, they were white. They were
brown sweet onions.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, and I and I took them home and I
was going to cut them up last night, and I'm like, no, no,
I want them fresh. So at around twelve thirties afternoon,
I put an alarm, I put gloves on. Yeah, I
had to wake up. I put gloves on, and I
cut them up in the regent. Put gloves on. I
learned that from Fellio, less tears if you cut onions
with gloves on, almost none.
Speaker 8 (23:40):
I also have heard that if you hold a piece
of bread in your mouth while you were cutting them,
that it's supposed to keep the tears away.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah right, okay, if that, let's say that's true, what's
the price of your dignity?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
You know?
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Do you look like a complete a hole and you're
gonna risk that over tears. You look like a dog
with a big piece of breadstick and out of his mouth.
Speaker 9 (24:06):
Like glad, learn to be genuine. Give me total crap.
If you walked in and saw you piece of bread
in your mouth, it would never never made the end
of it.
Speaker 8 (24:19):
I just wear ski goggles when I cut onions, and.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Wow, that's worse. You wear ski goggles when you cut onions.
Speaker 9 (24:27):
Either that or I burn a candle like right next
to where I'm cutting, and that helps.
Speaker 8 (24:32):
Also, really I do it.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yeah, imagine having like.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
A galley, your first meet and sliding over to her place.
She's making a salad, cutting a onions. You go in,
she's got goggles on.
Speaker 9 (24:44):
Knocking the door.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Come on, yeah, yeah, I'll get your ski poles. Have
a nice.
Speaker 9 (24:51):
Ski goggles that close to them in the kitchen, right
that nut hanging on a wall in a drawer.
Speaker 13 (25:00):
On the ball.
Speaker 8 (25:00):
You never know when you're gonna need him.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I mean she forgets she has them on, and the
guy doesn't want to say anything. He's like, got him.
I were halfway through this movie. She's still got the goggles.
Speaker 9 (25:09):
He reaches in leans in for the old smithy.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Those are the goggles They did a hell of a
job shop in the Sunion.
Speaker 13 (25:20):
So chopping Broccoly David vass Say will join us in
the five o'clock hour. DBOS now joining us now chain
out Starr David David.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Here's the Duke of Sports, also known.
Speaker 13 (25:31):
In a sports cat, Eric Stalar, who is our friend
show former intern of the Petrosen Money Show. Now very
impactful over at KFI, working with John.
Speaker 7 (25:40):
Half decade now at KFI decade. How long are you talking? No,
I enterned for you guys, summer twenty seventeen. So it's
eight years. Eight years now, yeah, eight years employee eight years.
Speaker 13 (25:51):
And the Duke is he's turned to He's turned to
radio to find his mate, to find love. It's not
my idea.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Whose idea wasn't Key, Key? This was Shannon's idea and
you agreed to it. Shannon Farren Sharon.
Speaker 7 (26:02):
From Gary and Shannon said let's find you a lady. Yeah,
so it started with they call it Sharon, and you
agreed to it. Shannon Farren Sharon from Gary and Shannon.
Speaker 9 (26:13):
She loves that, by the way, Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
She loves that. Never an attitude when.
Speaker 8 (26:21):
That happens, I called Shannon a lot so that's fair.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Oh you do, yeah, but you don't hate that.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
No, it's a compliment. So then I'm offended that she's
so offended.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Shy lay Sharon on her tomorrow and what and stand back?
Speaker 8 (26:36):
Really she didn't like it?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I did it once my first start here. Yeah, never
forget it. What did s like?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
F you, F Harvey, F Lyle, F Vicky F Carrol Don.
I'm like, wow, women went nuts. I will come back
and play this, Lyle. Yeah, she went through everyone in mind.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Don't do it, Lyle, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Don't do it, Sharon, all right, we'll come back and
play Eric Sklar, the producer of the John Covelt Show,
looking for a date online and Petros and money give
him a workout. Well, look they introduced him as you know,
start what is starved David? Hey, the starve David? I God,
don't mind's like like seventeen fifty eight. That's why you
(27:28):
listen to that program, though many they can walk close
to the line.
Speaker 11 (27:31):
Then anybody you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand
from KFI AM six forty KFI AM six forty Conway Show, Sorry,
that's what two hot dogs and fourteen pieces of saltwater
(27:54):
taffy does to you orange cream. The orange cream is
great and the other one's good too, but so good.
The combos gets your sugar spikes you carbo spiking.
Speaker 9 (28:07):
How's it compared to laughy taffy?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
It's much better than laughing taffy. Levey Taffy's too hard, Yeah,
I agree.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
You know, any filling you have in your mouth you
got to take out before you hit laffy taffy.
Speaker 9 (28:17):
It's that that's the difference between to me, good and
bad taffy. And I've come from Maryland where it's like
the world's famous.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
But you know, these guys are smart with that taffy
town because the only way to get saltwater taffy is
to go to a carnival or a fair that's in town.
Speaker 9 (28:32):
Walk in Ocean City.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah, righting for it.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
But if they could make taffy as good as this
is and sell it in stores, that's a home run.
Nice and soft exactly that the softest is one hundred
percent the key to it. Softest than flavor. And they
got it both wrapped up pretty good. All right, let's
get back into this Petros and money over at five,
(28:54):
I'm talking to Eric Sklar, the producer of the John
colbou show. Eric's looking to get married, I guess, and
he's boxed himself into a twenty four year old Jewish
gal who's got her own car. I think, I think
something like that. Let's find out what he was looking for.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Sharon from Gary and Shannon said, let's find you a lady. Yeah.
So it started with last week.
Speaker 16 (29:16):
She was talking about the idea of ghosting and dating
and I was like, oh, I have a ghosting story
for you, and so I told it to.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Her on the air. Whatever Jewish girl, Yes, it was
a Jewish course.
Speaker 7 (29:25):
He doesn't date any non Jewice. Well that's the problem here,
I have a problem. Really narrowed your folks, Like, don't
you think your folk?
Speaker 13 (29:32):
Now, here's the deal kids, If you don't know, the
Duke of Sports is a young eligible bachelor.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Of course, and a young man.
Speaker 13 (29:39):
That is, any woman would be lucky to wake up
with his beard tickling her chin.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Oh my god, it's got a beard.
Speaker 13 (29:47):
However, Yeah, this is a Gary and Shannon promotion on KFI.
They are trying to find a mate for the Duke
of Sports. This is not unheard of. In fact, Sharon
Belly was the Cannon's cougar.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Oh whoa wait a minute, Bellio, You've never ever laid
that on us. How dare you? You you suffocate that time.
We've never heard we've never heard that term before. Yeah,
they came up with it was the Cannon's cougar. We've
never heard of the cannon the Cannon's cougar, cougar.
Speaker 8 (30:21):
He wasn't up for that, but they went that was
their branding.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
But you were young, you weren't a cougar.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
No, but if anyone was younger than me, I would
have been considered. And actually John is younger than I am,
so I guess I am.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I don't think you're a cougar.
Speaker 9 (30:34):
If the paul fits thank you shut up, Krozer.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Are you with it? You're not the Silmar cougar? Are you?
Speaker 9 (30:42):
No?
Speaker 8 (30:43):
That's not me?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Okay, sorry, got you confused with somebody else.
Speaker 7 (30:46):
In fact, Sharon Bellio was the Cannon's cougar, and she
has been married to John for a good fifteen years now.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
And John Cobelt found his wife on air.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I dispute that number that you've been married for fifteen years.
Speaker 8 (30:58):
I've been with him for fifteen years married.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
But that wasn't the comment.
Speaker 8 (31:02):
I know, but Matt, he's going off of I been
married nine.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
There you go. You don't say, but a contest.
Speaker 16 (31:08):
No, In back in New Jersey, they worked for like
affiliate stations or whatever, and John literally was on the
air with Ken at the time back in New Jersey
and he saw a blonde woman Deborah, who happened to
be Deborah and was like, Hey, bring that blonde woman
in here.
Speaker 7 (31:22):
She's cute. And then that was but that's not soliciting. No,
it's not solicit This is totally different.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, this is this is you saying I need a
lady help me gas? Put by right the way?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
How about John colebelt that caveman. Bring that blonde woman
in here, God almighty kinds of change, I guess, bring
that blonde woman in here.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Put me in the gas match.
Speaker 13 (31:46):
Deborah just walking by the studio when it was like
an open window, like the Montgomery Wards is totally different.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
It still happened on air, yes, but no, but this
is like, all right, lad this is why I don't
come on very much. The duke.
Speaker 7 (31:58):
I'm Eric, I'm thirty one. I enjoy check this out, ladies.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Now this is his profile on Jarry is what's gonna
hook the ladies to come in.
Speaker 7 (32:06):
I like to watch sports, go to bars, play basketball, pickleball,
I golf on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
So far pretty hot. Not everything.
Speaker 7 (32:18):
It's like it's a bro thing. You're just browing out here.
I'm playing basketball some way.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Been like a masculine man. I thought that describes me
pretty well. All right, Well, the dude, you're not following
what we're saying here.
Speaker 13 (32:29):
Another problem I have, Duke, is that the age range, yes,
twenty five to thirty two.
Speaker 16 (32:33):
Definitely negotiable. Just they asked me, what are your preferences?
Twenty you're thirty one, you gotta go to thirty five.
I'mor that no one's even gonna sign up. No one's
gonna be in the micow we have gotten zero fitness
zero zero zero.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Wow. I think it's too narrow, because.
Speaker 13 (32:52):
You know what, I feel like we could do Matt
and tell me if I'm wrong, and we are the
Petrison Money Show.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
But I feel like, you know, not as strong as
a share it. God help us.
Speaker 13 (33:01):
But I feel like we could put Ben the intern
on a chopping block and we could get him laid
by some fifty year old coover in Silmart like tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
That's so great. We gotta take a break for live.
We'll continue a lit when'll gome back on kfim Siwa.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Now you can always
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Hear us live on KFI Am six forty four to
seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on
the iHeart Radio app.
It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to the
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I recently
went to Costco to make a return and the line
was about twenty people deep, but it rolls. It was
less than five minutes. And when you get to the front,
(00:20):
there's no bickering or you know, crazy eyeball, you know
what's going on with you in this product. They just return,
they take returns. I saw a guy returning what looked
like a hundred light bulbs, and I'm thinking, wow, I
got about a hundred light bulbs and none of them fit.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Now he's returning all of them.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And what he probably did is he, you know, works
in an apartment building or condo whatever office building, took
all the old light bulbs out that are broken and
put the new ones in, put the old ones in
the packet and send them back to what Costco. That
happens all the time at home depot lows everything he
brought back to battle old ones. Yeah, yeah, I think
(01:02):
for sure he did that. And I don't know you
know how people do that, but they do it. They
do it, and I you know, when you buy something
like it at a big box store, like you're buying
a sprinkler head or whatever. You got to open up
and look at it, because a lot of people return
them broken and then they're just put back on the shelf.
(01:22):
Just yeah, and so you really got to look and
investigate or else you're going to be stuck with that
busted one. But Costco returns Costco customers testing the limits
of their risk free returns.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, risk free at Costco.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
In TikToker, Evelyn Juarez saw that her toddler had done this.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Looking with this human that Jilani, she puts slime, Oh
my carpet.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
She thought the Costco rug she bought just four months
ago was this sunk cost I like gas.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
I try to scrape off the slime with my nails.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Nothing works, But then she says she remembered the company's
risk free return policy.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
I'm kind of nervous to ask, well, we're gonna see. Yeah,
so how's a stain on it? And I can't take
it out?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
That's fun.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
To her amazement, she says, it worked.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Wow, man, oh man, where does that? Where does that
loss get absorbed? Guys like us probably.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
They give me a full refund like, Okay, Costco, you
want to forever member.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Evelyn's return just one apparent example of the company's famous
risk free, one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed to members, allowing
customers to return almost anything.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And they do.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
If you've seen that line, that return line, that's the
longest line at Costco.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
With some exceptions for things like diamonds and alcohol and
cigarettes and airline or concert tickets. Influencers online documenting how
far that policy can.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Be Wait, what are what are things they won't return?
Speaker 6 (02:57):
Some exceptions for things like diamonds.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
You can't return a diamond. Yeah, what the hell? Diamonds
keep their value. Can't return a diamond? That's odd. Alcohol
and cigarettes, I get that. I get that.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Liquor, Well, you don't have it if they open it
and they filled with you know, they drink all the
gin and then they filled it up with tea or
water or whatever, Coca cola and here's your bottle of
seagrums bag.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
And airline or concert tickets. Influencers are online documenting how
far that policy.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Can be put.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Hey, Steff, you probably know the answer to this.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Who was it on the Woody Show to return to
slice of pizza? That was SeaBASS, Sea bass. What he
just had one pepperoni left.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
He ate an entire slice and left one pepperoni and
they took it back. Wow, Wow, Wow, push house of.
Speaker 7 (03:46):
A chicken bake and to my surprise, they let me
return it.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Returning weeks old flowers.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I hate to say this, but I've been right one
hundred percent of the time. Guys like this are going
to change that policy. Guy that buys the you know,
the chicken wrap takes half of it down and then
returns it. This is going to change the policy and
we're all going to get screwed because of guys like this.
Speaker 7 (04:11):
Half of a chicken bake and to my surprise, they
let me return it.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Okay, all right, it's the beginning of the end for Costco.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
You better get returns in now because these guys are
going to destroy it for everybody turning weeks old flowers.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
It's my surprise.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
They're letting me return the dead flowers, and I got
my money back.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Slip and Slide inflatable water toys.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
We no longer speak quickly, We.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
No longer can put thoughts together like rather regular human beings.
God a mighty the latency with this woman.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, yeah, no longer no longer what what? What? What?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
What?
Speaker 8 (04:52):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
No longer what? Oh no longer want this?
Speaker 9 (04:55):
It sounds like she was trying to come up with
a good reason, something good that would be you know,
valid to.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Say, and she just ended up with right because she
has no real training when it comes to improv none, yes,
just void.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Even an air conditioner. After this summer ended, the.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Greatest ices bringing back years old couches turning into a
trend of its own, one hundred dollars back after four years.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Okay, it's going away. It's going away. Despicable, yeah, and
so bad. But it's going to ruin it for everybody.
This is how things get ruined for everybody. You know,
when I was a kid, you can go into any restaurant,
use the bathroom, and now you have to be a
customer because a guy went in with a baseball bat
and busted the place.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Up, exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Or when I was a kid, when I first started driving,
and it's at sixteen, you go to a gas station,
you pump your gas, and then you go into the
gas to the office or you know, the gas station itself,
the cashier, and you say, how was on pumped thirteen.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Here's eighteen dollars and fifty cents.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
They they it was on an honor system. But then
people would fill up their car and pull away without paying.
So now you got to go into the gas station
way behind the lottery guys, guys who are buying lottery tickets.
Then you got to pay. Then you got to go
back in to get your change. That it's the pain
in the ass. So people ruin great things, and these
(06:20):
guys going to Costco are going to destroy the great
return policy that Costco has. It's coming to an end.
They can't absorb all these losses.
Speaker 10 (06:27):
Costco because they have a membership fee that's a huge
part of their profit margin, so they have more wiggle
room than a classic retailer, for example, to have a
generous return policy, and it is a calling card of theirs.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Some of the stunts, including Gua Ras is getting a
lot of flack in the comments with some TikTokers worrying
returns like hers would increase prices for them if too
many people did the same thing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
That's right, that's going to happen.
Speaker 10 (06:53):
The more people who take advantage of generous return policies,
the more likely it is that these generals were turn
policies are going to change or be taken away.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Did you hear that? That's exactly what I said, in
different terms, different words. But idiots like this, like you know,
the couch returner, the guy returning, you know, the dead flowers,
the dead plants, all that stuff. It's going to destroy
Costco for all of us, all of us. Listen again,
it's very important.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
The more people who take advantage of generous return policies,
the more likely it is that these generous return policies
are going to change or be taken away.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Costco not immediately responding to a request for comment, Waz
saying the return was it one off for her that
now I.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Feel guilty into buying way more things with them. I
feel into spending more to make up for what I
returned with Dennis get in there.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And she's already back in the aisles spending more, All
right with that?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Steve Patterson, he joins us night from Los Angeles. Steve,
this is a wild story.
Speaker 11 (07:55):
Has Costco said anything about whether.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
These return videos could spark a change in their paw?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You know, Tom, we haven't heard anything from the company
on that front. Just yet, but we should say that
Costco can cancel any membership for any reason at any time,
and there's recent histories of retailers targeting individual memberships without
changing the entire policies when something like this happened.
Speaker 6 (08:17):
So the expert there.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Says, it's probably not a bad idea just to return
things when you need to, rather than trying to.
Speaker 6 (08:23):
Abuse the policy.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh that's a great move. I bet Costco starts doing that.
You return too much crap, you know, a couch that's
five years old, and they're gonna and they're going to
reject you and terminate your membership.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
I was going to say, Costco is usually pretty good
with that sort of stuff, and I would hope that
they would come up with a reasonable answer to it
rather than an end all, you know answer.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, but this makes sense, gros.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Look, if you belong to a I don't know, a
country club, and every time you went to the country club,
you took a golf club and you know, beat up
the locker room. Eventually they'd throw you out like that.
That professional golfer at Oakmond in Pittsburgh or in somewhere
in Pennsylvania, he took he went to Oakmont which is
(09:08):
one of the oldest golf courses in America. And he
got pissed after he missed the cut, and he took
a golf club and he banged up the locker room,
which has been around since nineteen oh three, and they
kicked him out. They threw him out of Oakmond. He
can't go back, damn right. So I think that's what's
gonna happen. I think they're going to kick people out
of Costco for abusing the system.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
They're gonna have to, and I hope they do.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And how embarrassing though, when you get your card rechecked,
you know, all of a sudden, you have a card
and you like, no, sir, and they ask you escort
you out, like the pizza guy escorts you out.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
You're out, You're out, Bud the.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
Higher or the eye Glasgow, yeah, right, exactly, dude making
the chickens in the back, yeah ye Glasgow, Yeah, you're
oh yeah, or the you know, the free samples guy
is going to escort your your ass out.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I hope they do that, so it saves it for
everybody else.
Speaker 9 (09:58):
People on the way out, all the rest of the people.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
What did you do you abuse the system? You knew
the rules, you knew the boundaries. Mahalo and you're gone.
Speaker 11 (10:07):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
All right, we've heard of the term that mayor Bass uses,
and almost exclusively. I've not heard anybody else use this
term Angelinos. I've been here a long time, never ever
heard anyone refer to anybody else ass as Angelino's. But
there's another one with I think less controversy. People who
(10:34):
refer to people who live in California or the state
as Cali.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I've heard that before. I've heard Cali.
Speaker 12 (10:42):
Here's a good long term debate. There are still people
out there using an often hated, cringey.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Nickname for the Golden State.
Speaker 12 (10:48):
They say, tell me you're definitely not of this place
when you call it Cali. The debate rages on quietly
here in their SF Gate, a publication from San Francisco
pulled its staff members, finding that they overwhelmingly hate using calli.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I don't mind CALLI. I've heard it before.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I think it came out of I don't know, like
southern California, ocean side La Joya Long Beach, one of
those areas.
Speaker 12 (11:14):
We pulled our newsroom. The results are at the end
of this story. On Reddit, though some say tourists are
the only people who call it Cali, that is a fact,
another says they do often hear it used in South
Central and somebody from Long Beach who has said CALLI
their whole life says, quote, I'm from Long Beach and
I've said CALLI my whole life.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I think it came from Long Beach. I think that
originally CALLI came from Long Beach.
Speaker 12 (11:35):
Cali likely came about because of hip hop. It didn't
exist much before the eighties, likely because it's easier to
rhyme than California. Biggie ll cool J made it huge
despite being New Yorkers.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
But what was the song We're going back to Cali, cally,
We're going back to CALLI yo.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I don't think so, Yes, CALLI.
Speaker 12 (11:55):
But it would make sense that like cool J would
say CALLI because even.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
The man's name is an abbreviation.
Speaker 12 (12:00):
Now, even though it's l J cool Ju, even though
it is in a lot of rap songs, you see Berkeley,
professor of African American English, says it's still not widely
used in the black community. Now again, Berkeley Up North.
Maybe it's an old Holso.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Wait, somebody has that title, even though it.
Speaker 12 (12:16):
Is in a lot of rap songs, you see. Berkeley
Professor of African American English.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Wait, there's There's English and then African American English.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Is that? Is that what somebody's teaching.
Speaker 12 (12:27):
UC Berkeley, Professor of African American English says it's still
not widely used in the black community. Now again, Berkeley
up North, Maybe it's an old Calso cal thing. La
Time says Cali might be heard more as an adjective
that Cali vibe, cali, tacos, et cetera. Probably though a
generational thing, with younger people using it more frequently other ones.
(12:48):
You can be sure to make you a poser if
you call it.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
COMMI where are you from?
Speaker 13 (12:54):
My dad?
Speaker 12 (12:55):
La La Land San fran or they God help you.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Frisco?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh yeah, they hate Frisco. That's why I use it
all the time. Frisco's bad. And also Angelino's is the worst. Angelinos. Oh, babu.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I've noticed this that the I was at Costco last night.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
The Halloween stuff is out already, and in some places
I think it's a hobby lobby that they already have
Christmas out.
Speaker 14 (13:24):
It's never too early to get in the Christmas spirit.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I think there's a debate on that. I think there's
a debate. When you have Christmas in July. I think
that might be a little early.
Speaker 14 (13:34):
But despite the sizzling summer heat, Christmas is just twenty
two weeks away, and some budget conscious shoppers are already
hunting for the perfect presence.
Speaker 15 (13:44):
It's the beginning of summer and I'm already buying Christmas gifts.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
And with good Oh who does that? God Almighty?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I mean, give yourself a break in life where it's
July and you're already nose deep into Christmas gifts.
Speaker 15 (13:56):
It's the beginning of summer and I'm already buying Christmas gifts.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
How do you know who you're going to be friends
with come Christmas? You know? Or who in the family
you're gonna be talking to at Christmas.
Speaker 15 (14:06):
It's the beginning of summer and I'm marty buying Christmas gifts.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
And with good reason.
Speaker 14 (14:10):
With the ongoing trade war, toys could get much more
expensive as the holidays approach. Toymaker has Bro warning consumers
some must have items could be out of stock if
you wait too long to get them.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
So like a Plaano Barbie, an animals a baby ev.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I've never heard of that. Plato Barbie, Plato Barbie. I
need to know more.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
An animals a baby ev.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You know, if you're a mom or a dad, you're
probably gonna want to go and buy that early.
Speaker 14 (14:37):
China, which currently makes about eighty percent of the toys
sold in the US, is facing a thirty percent tare
from the Trump administration That not only means prices will
be higher, but toy production that usually ramps up in
April was delayed until late May. Hillary Key is the
owner of the Toy Chest in Nashville, Indiana. She says
shoppers are eager to cross gifts off their Christmas list
much earlier than usual.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You know a lot of people are unaware. I know,
it's unbelieved.
Speaker 9 (15:01):
It like an adult store.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah right, yeah, and then played o'barbie too. What's at
the toy chests with played o'barbie? It's going on with you.
But a lot of people don't understand tariffs like I do.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I used to.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I was at I studied tariffs in high school and
then in college. You're a numbers guy, Yeah, mostly African
American tariffs. But I will say that, like Nike buys
a pair of shoes from China, did they sell over
here for one hundred and fifty bucks? They import him
(15:34):
from China for about twelve to fifty maybe fifteen dollars,
And so a thirty percent tariff on fifteen dollars is
what three dollars? I think it's three dollars, three to
fifty maybe four dollars, And so that tariff is not
half of the price of one hundred and fifty dollars shoe,
it's only the tariff only is on the China to
(15:56):
Los Angeles or China the United States on that run.
So Nike buys shoes for fifteen bucks and sells them
for one hundred and fifty, that's the markup. Sorry, kids,
you you're there. You're the kids that started that. I
didn't start it. You did. So if you're complaining about
the price of Nikes, you are responsible, not me.
Speaker 16 (16:17):
You.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So if they buy a pair of shoes from China
for fifteen bucks and they sell for one hundred and fifty,
the tariff on that is only four dollars.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I know it seems high.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But it's only four dollars, so Nike could eat the
entire tariff and still make a boatload of money, which
they might do.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
They might, they might. Oh Right's get back to the
story here with the wackiness of the tariffs.
Speaker 14 (16:39):
Is that leading people to do a little bit of
wacky Christmas shopping as early as July?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
No, because people don't understand tariffs like I do. That's
what's going on.
Speaker 15 (16:46):
It definitely is. I'd say we've wrapped over one hundred
presents in the Christmas and holiday wrapping paper, and.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So that's where do you keep them? I mean what
you're having?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
You know, you have thirty gifts purchased already for family
and friends. Where in the house you can hide them
from everybody? And who has that kind of room where
you can have you can store thirty gifts in your
house that are pre wrapped for Christmas? Man, don't you
want to wait until it cools down to get in spirit?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You know?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Christmas is about the feeling about the season. It's not
It's not a three hundred and sixty five day event.
God Almighty. People they're just always searching for the next thing.
They can never be in the moment. The zen moment
always have to be like six months ahead. It's outrageous.
Speaker 11 (17:30):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Hey, we are mentioned on another radio station and we
always like to play it when we're mentioned. And it
was those young men over at KLAC five seventy am,
Petros and Money, Matt Money Smith, Petros Papadekas from sam
Pedro for the San Pedro area. And by the way,
(18:01):
I had lunch with a friend of mine. I don't
want to name drop, but he's the chief of police
in Huntington Beach. Eric Para, Chief Para, and we ate
at the Harbor House in Sunset Beach. And that guy's
got it going on. He spent a lot of time
with the Sheriff's Department as a deputy. Then there was
(18:22):
like five or six different cities that wanted him to
be the chief. He picked Huntington Beach and he's got
it made in Huntington Beach. When you're the chief, you're
the king of the road. Everybody in Huntington Beach ninety
eight percent, I should say in Huntington Beach. People live there,
they respect the cops, They support the cops. They say
(18:44):
hi to the cops. They don't s on the cops.
They have a great relationship with law enforcement. Ninety eight
percent of the people live in Huntington Beach. Now you
still get two percent a holes, you know, who always
hate the cops. That's everywhere. But they got it going
on in Huntington Beach. And I don't know why I
(19:08):
mentioned that, but I did. So there you go. Anyway,
Let's get back to this Petro some money. Oh, this
is why I mentioned it because Chief Parr grew up
in sam Pedro and he remembers Petro's Papadeka's restaurant that
his dad owned, Johnny p Johnny Papadeka's, and said, man,
that was one of the greatest restaurants in the world.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
He goes, I don't know why they closed down.
Speaker 9 (19:32):
That's a huge regret for me, not ever having made that.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I never went there either, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
They closed it down a year after I started here,
and I never got down there. Well I don't feel
so bad then, But it sounds like a big party
every night. Yeah, it totally does. Yeah, man, I wish
I got down there, I really do. You know, real
quickly I ranted to Tim Kates. He's got a new
client over there called taffy Town. Oh is that what
that's about. Yeah, that's saltwater taffy. I don't think anything
(19:59):
in the world is better than not free gluten free
saltwater taffy.
Speaker 9 (20:04):
Sounds delicious.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Yeah, be bellio please, she sounds, she goes. It sounds
like you're trying to steal their client. No, I'm just
telling you it's not free gluten free orange cream taffy Town.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
I like it. It's very good. It's insensational. All right.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
This Petros Papadagas and Matt Muney Smith talking about the
Conway Show and Eric Sklar, who's the producer of the
John Colebelt Show. Here we go ding dong with the
two of them. Here we go, Petro some money at
five seventy LA Sports.
Speaker 13 (20:33):
Let's hear it from Matt mney Smith, Ladies and gentlemen,
whose hot dog steamer has now reached the influence of
our own Tim Conway Junior I purchased his own hot
dog steamer.
Speaker 7 (20:44):
Just like the exact same steamer. So that's not our steamer, No,
that is their steamer purchased. He sent me a text.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
He's like, oh no, okay, this is gonna get me
in trouble because I got real lazy over the weekend
and I have always been in love with Matt money Smith.
It's steamer, his hot dog steamer, and I didn't want
to look for it. I don't want to go to
Target and Walmart and search up the aisles, so.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I just text.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
So I go, hey, Bob, I'm sorry, I can't find
that steamer. Where'd you get that? And literally a second
later he sends me the link to Amazon ready to go. Yeah,
it's the first thing that pops up when you put
in steamer.
Speaker 9 (21:22):
He should be getting some sort of a commission off
of those.
Speaker 8 (21:24):
And you hate when people text you asking questions They
can just look up themselves.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Right, I hate that.
Speaker 8 (21:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I don't hate when I do it, I hate when
other people do it. Rules for you, Yeah, you can have.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Rules for yourself and not for everybody else, or for
everybody else and not for yourself one hundred percent. That's
what That's what it's all. Life is all about. Hypocrisy.
And yeah, that's true. We're all hypocrites, and sometimes you
like to display your hypocrisy, you know, and then I
just displayed by an over the weekend. I felt great
about it. I was like a spreading my wings of hypocrisy.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
He sent me a text, He's like, hey, bup, that's true.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I send him in Tech, going, hey Bob, where do
I get that steamer?
Speaker 7 (22:06):
He sent me a text He's like, hey, bup, hey,
ding dog, where can I find one of those steamers?
And I sent him the link to Amazon. How'd you
find that?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Bubb?
Speaker 7 (22:16):
To Amazon and typed in hot dog steamer And this
is the first steamer came up. He's like, my bad,
bub should have known that he sent you the link.
Now I have the exact same hot dogs. They're all
du sports in our window.
Speaker 13 (22:28):
Well, yeah, that's the number of the day or word
of the day. Excuse me, he's standing right there. Yeah,
bring him in the word of the day. But thank
you for the steamer, everybody. We will have Sean Merriman
dog in the very next segment. Yeah, Tim Conway, I
wonder how many stuffush is gonna be.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean fresh.
Speaker 7 (22:42):
I don't know who chopped the onions, but they did
a hell of a job. Shopped Crozier.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Notice when I'm eating tech Krozier noticed, Steph Fuche note
is belly O noticed?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Did they are freshly cut?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
And the King of all hot dogs about money Smith
notice as well. I bought the onions last night from
Smart and Final to sweet Onions at Smart and Final
sweet onon Oh yeah, and for Dugo and Hollywood Way
not the Mauie sweet onion.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
No, no to me, No, they were white. They were
brown sweet onions.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, and I and I took them home and I
was going to cut them up last night, and I'm like, no, no,
I want them fresh. So at around twelve thirties afternoon,
I put an alarm, I put gloves on. Yeah, I
had to wake up. I put gloves on, and I
cut them up in the regent. Put gloves on. I
learned that from Fellio, less tears if you cut onions
with gloves on, almost none.
Speaker 8 (23:40):
I also have heard that if you hold a piece
of bread in your mouth while you were cutting them,
that it's supposed to keep the tears away.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah right, okay, if that, let's say that's true, what's
the price of your dignity?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
You know?
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Do you look like a complete a hole and you're
gonna risk that over tears. You look like a dog
with a big piece of breadstick and out of his mouth.
Speaker 9 (24:06):
Like glad, learn to be genuine. Give me total crap.
If you walked in and saw you piece of bread
in your mouth, it would never never made the end
of it.
Speaker 8 (24:19):
I just wear ski goggles when I cut onions, and.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Wow, that's worse. You wear ski goggles when you cut onions.
Speaker 9 (24:27):
Either that or I burn a candle like right next
to where I'm cutting, and that helps.
Speaker 8 (24:32):
Also, really I do it.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yeah, imagine having like.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
A galley, your first meet and sliding over to her place.
She's making a salad, cutting a onions. You go in,
she's got goggles on.
Speaker 9 (24:44):
Knocking the door.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Come on, yeah, yeah, I'll get your ski poles. Have
a nice.
Speaker 9 (24:51):
Ski goggles that close to them in the kitchen, right
that nut hanging on a wall in a drawer.
Speaker 13 (25:00):
On the ball.
Speaker 8 (25:00):
You never know when you're gonna need him.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I mean she forgets she has them on, and the
guy doesn't want to say anything. He's like, got him.
I were halfway through this movie. She's still got the goggles.
Speaker 9 (25:09):
He reaches in leans in for the old smithy.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Those are the goggles They did a hell of a
job shop in the Sunion.
Speaker 13 (25:20):
So chopping Broccoly David vass Say will join us in
the five o'clock hour. DBOS now joining us now chain
out Starr David David.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Here's the Duke of Sports, also known.
Speaker 13 (25:31):
In a sports cat, Eric Stalar, who is our friend
show former intern of the Petrosen Money Show. Now very
impactful over at KFI, working with John.
Speaker 7 (25:40):
Half decade now at KFI decade. How long are you talking? No,
I enterned for you guys, summer twenty seventeen. So it's
eight years. Eight years now, yeah, eight years employee eight years.
Speaker 13 (25:51):
And the Duke is he's turned to He's turned to
radio to find his mate, to find love. It's not
my idea.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Whose idea wasn't Key, Key? This was Shannon's idea and
you agreed to it. Shannon Farren Sharon.
Speaker 7 (26:02):
From Gary and Shannon said let's find you a lady. Yeah,
so it started with they call it Sharon, and you
agreed to it. Shannon Farren Sharon from Gary and Shannon.
Speaker 9 (26:13):
She loves that, by the way, Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
She loves that. Never an attitude when.
Speaker 8 (26:21):
That happens, I called Shannon a lot so that's fair.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Oh you do, yeah, but you don't hate that.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
No, it's a compliment. So then I'm offended that she's
so offended.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Shy lay Sharon on her tomorrow and what and stand back?
Speaker 8 (26:36):
Really she didn't like it?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I did it once my first start here. Yeah, never
forget it. What did s like?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
F you, F Harvey, F Lyle, F Vicky F Carrol Don.
I'm like, wow, women went nuts. I will come back
and play this, Lyle. Yeah, she went through everyone in mind.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Don't do it, Lyle, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Don't do it, Sharon, all right, we'll come back and
play Eric Sklar, the producer of the John Covelt Show,
looking for a date online and Petros and money give
him a workout. Well, look they introduced him as you know,
start what is starved David? Hey, the starve David? I God,
don't mind's like like seventeen fifty eight. That's why you
(27:28):
listen to that program, though many they can walk close
to the line.
Speaker 11 (27:31):
Then anybody you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand
from KFI AM six forty KFI AM six forty Conway Show, Sorry,
that's what two hot dogs and fourteen pieces of saltwater
(27:54):
taffy does to you orange cream. The orange cream is
great and the other one's good too, but so good.
The combos gets your sugar spikes you carbo spiking.
Speaker 9 (28:07):
How's it compared to laughy taffy?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
It's much better than laughing taffy. Levey Taffy's too hard, Yeah,
I agree.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
You know, any filling you have in your mouth you
got to take out before you hit laffy taffy.
Speaker 9 (28:17):
It's that that's the difference between to me, good and
bad taffy. And I've come from Maryland where it's like
the world's famous.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
But you know, these guys are smart with that taffy
town because the only way to get saltwater taffy is
to go to a carnival or a fair that's in town.
Speaker 9 (28:32):
Walk in Ocean City.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah, righting for it.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
But if they could make taffy as good as this
is and sell it in stores, that's a home run.
Nice and soft exactly that the softest is one hundred
percent the key to it. Softest than flavor. And they
got it both wrapped up pretty good. All right, let's
get back into this Petros and money over at five,
(28:54):
I'm talking to Eric Sklar, the producer of the John
colbou show. Eric's looking to get married, I guess, and
he's boxed himself into a twenty four year old Jewish
gal who's got her own car. I think, I think
something like that. Let's find out what he was looking for.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Sharon from Gary and Shannon said, let's find you a lady. Yeah.
So it started with last week.
Speaker 16 (29:16):
She was talking about the idea of ghosting and dating
and I was like, oh, I have a ghosting story
for you, and so I told it to.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Her on the air. Whatever Jewish girl, Yes, it was
a Jewish course.
Speaker 7 (29:25):
He doesn't date any non Jewice. Well that's the problem here,
I have a problem. Really narrowed your folks, Like, don't
you think your folk?
Speaker 13 (29:32):
Now, here's the deal kids, If you don't know, the
Duke of Sports is a young eligible bachelor.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Of course, and a young man.
Speaker 13 (29:39):
That is, any woman would be lucky to wake up
with his beard tickling her chin.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Oh my god, it's got a beard.
Speaker 13 (29:47):
However, Yeah, this is a Gary and Shannon promotion on KFI.
They are trying to find a mate for the Duke
of Sports. This is not unheard of. In fact, Sharon
Belly was the Cannon's cougar.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Oh whoa wait a minute, Bellio, You've never ever laid
that on us. How dare you? You you suffocate that time.
We've never heard we've never heard that term before. Yeah,
they came up with it was the Cannon's cougar. We've
never heard of the cannon the Cannon's cougar, cougar.
Speaker 8 (30:21):
He wasn't up for that, but they went that was
their branding.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
But you were young, you weren't a cougar.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
No, but if anyone was younger than me, I would
have been considered. And actually John is younger than I am,
so I guess I am.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I don't think you're a cougar.
Speaker 9 (30:34):
If the paul fits thank you shut up, Krozer.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Are you with it? You're not the Silmar cougar? Are you?
Speaker 9 (30:42):
No?
Speaker 8 (30:43):
That's not me?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Okay, sorry, got you confused with somebody else.
Speaker 7 (30:46):
In fact, Sharon Bellio was the Cannon's cougar, and she
has been married to John for a good fifteen years now.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
And John Cobelt found his wife on air.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
I dispute that number that you've been married for fifteen years.
Speaker 8 (30:58):
I've been with him for fifteen years married.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
But that wasn't the comment.
Speaker 8 (31:02):
I know, but Matt, he's going off of I been
married nine.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
There you go. You don't say, but a contest.
Speaker 16 (31:08):
No, In back in New Jersey, they worked for like
affiliate stations or whatever, and John literally was on the
air with Ken at the time back in New Jersey
and he saw a blonde woman Deborah, who happened to
be Deborah and was like, Hey, bring that blonde woman
in here.
Speaker 7 (31:22):
She's cute. And then that was but that's not soliciting. No,
it's not solicit This is totally different.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, this is this is you saying I need a
lady help me gas? Put by right the way?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
How about John colebelt that caveman. Bring that blonde woman
in here, God almighty kinds of change, I guess, bring
that blonde woman in here.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Put me in the gas match.
Speaker 13 (31:46):
Deborah just walking by the studio when it was like
an open window, like the Montgomery Wards is totally different.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
It still happened on air, yes, but no, but this
is like, all right, lad this is why I don't
come on very much. The duke.
Speaker 7 (31:58):
I'm Eric, I'm thirty one. I enjoy check this out, ladies.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Now this is his profile on Jarry is what's gonna
hook the ladies to come in.
Speaker 7 (32:06):
I like to watch sports, go to bars, play basketball, pickleball,
I golf on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
So far pretty hot. Not everything.
Speaker 7 (32:18):
It's like it's a bro thing. You're just browing out here.
I'm playing basketball some way.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Been like a masculine man. I thought that describes me
pretty well. All right, Well, the dude, you're not following
what we're saying here.
Speaker 13 (32:29):
Another problem I have, Duke, is that the age range, yes,
twenty five to thirty two.
Speaker 16 (32:33):
Definitely negotiable. Just they asked me, what are your preferences?
Twenty you're thirty one, you gotta go to thirty five.
I'mor that no one's even gonna sign up. No one's
gonna be in the micow we have gotten zero fitness
zero zero zero.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Wow. I think it's too narrow, because.
Speaker 13 (32:52):
You know what, I feel like we could do Matt
and tell me if I'm wrong, and we are the
Petrison Money Show.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
But I feel like, you know, not as strong as
a share it. God help us.
Speaker 13 (33:01):
But I feel like we could put Ben the intern
on a chopping block and we could get him laid
by some fifty year old coover in Silmart like tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
That's so great. We gotta take a break for live.
We'll continue a lit when'll gome back on kfim Siwa.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Now you can always
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Hear us live on KFI Am six forty four to
seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on
the iHeart Radio app.
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com