January 1, 2026 • 30 mins
Tim kicks things off with a surprisingly passionate debate on trash etiquette—specifically, whether it’s ever okay to toss your garbage into someone else’s bin. The crew weighs in, and lines are definitely drawn. Then Tim takes a nostalgic trip back to the days of calling girls on the phone to make a date, revisiting the nerves, the landlines, and the art of not sounding like a total dork.The conversation loosens up as everyone recalls the last time they caught a truly good buzz, swapping stories about drinks, tolerance, and knowing when to stop. And to top it off, automotive royalty Jay Leno drops by to sing the praises of Cadillac, breaking down why the brand still delivers one of the most fun and underrated driving experiences out there.Manners, memories, mild intoxication, and muscle cars—this Best Of hits every gear. 🥂🎧
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to The
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Shannon Farren
was talking about people dumping their dog Doodo into her
trash can, and the promo sounds something like this, when
you put your.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Dog in my garbage can after the garbageman's already been there,
I'm going to wheel that thing back in there and
smell your dogs for another week. And I decided that
I would make a laminated sign and put it on
the trash ban that says, hey, can you just move
on to.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
The next one?
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Carry and Shannon, have I.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Made the sign?
Speaker 5 (00:37):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Do I still get angry?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
YESI and on demand anytime on the iHeartRadio.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
This happened to me today on the way to work.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
There's a guy walking down We live on an alley,
I know, pretty ritzy, huh. Guy walking down the alley
and he goes to put his dog's feces in my
trash cam and I at the same time, I opened
the garage door and he closes the lid and he
(01:09):
grabs the dog Dodo, and he walks away, and I said, I.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Said, hey, hey, hey, hey hey.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
He goes, oh, no, no, he because I'm not gonna put
it in I said, no, no, no, no, feel free to
put it in there.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
You can put anything you want in there. I don't
give a rat's ass. You can.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You can literally put a baby grand piano in there.
I don't care. I'm not one of those guys that cares.
You want to put your dog doodo in there instead
of carrying it around because you look like an idiot
carrying a bag of dog feces, that little green, tiny
bag that's all tied up and you're walking around. How
do you think your dog feels when you're walking around
(01:47):
with your dog's s in your hand?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Doesn't he feel like he sort of owns you? I
would think so.
Speaker 5 (01:55):
When I had the dog and I had and I
was the one doing the walks with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's why I prefer cats personally.
Speaker 6 (02:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
I have to clean it out, then clean the box out,
but it's like a one and done now every single
time they go to the bathroom, I have to be there.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
But our dogs.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
When, first of all, you can throw anything want in
our can and I don't know it bothers my wife
though maybe it's a gender thing. I don't know, but
it bothers my wife if somebody throws you know, their
dog ass in earththam.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, but I it also it doesn't bother me either.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
When somebody goes through my recyclables to take out cans,
I don't care. Look it's on the street, it's it's
it's up for grabs as soon.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
As they keep the area clean.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
As a matter of fact, this happened in Tarzana. We
lived in Tarzana. We used to throw all our bottles
and cans into you know, the blue recycled bin like
everybody does, I guess, And this guy was pulling out
bottle after bottle and he got so tired of it
he just took the whole blue can, through it on
the truck and left. And I thought it was hysterical
(03:00):
guys leaving. He's like, I don't want to go through
all this crap. I almost going to take the can
do it. Later, I thought it was great, man, the
ball's on that guy right. Not only did take the recyclables,
but take the whole canon split.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I thought that was great.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
But it is maybe I don't know, Belly, are you
are you disturbed by that? If somebody throws some.
Speaker 7 (03:21):
I don't like it. You don't like it, right, I
don't like it? Okay, like go because Shannon's right, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Well let's not say she's right. Let's just say you
agree with her.
Speaker 7 (03:31):
Okay, I agree with Shannon.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Okay, because because that makes me feel bad.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
If you say Shannon's right and I don't care, I
feel like less of a human being.
Speaker 7 (03:38):
Well, that's on you are right?
Speaker 6 (03:40):
No?
Speaker 8 (03:41):
Uh yes, they throw it into your emptied trash and
you bring it back and then you had to wait
a week with that in there.
Speaker 7 (03:45):
Yeah, there's those that creates issues.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Right, But it doesn't smell. I mean it's tied off.
If it's tied off nicely, it's I think it's air tight.
I don't think there's any issue there. Yeah, but at
least they're not leaving it on the street.
Speaker 7 (03:57):
No, I understand that. But why can't they take it
back to their trash can?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Because if you walk around with that green bag in
your hand, nothing says if you do goofball.
Speaker 7 (04:06):
If you have a dog, you're used to doing that. Nah.
Speaker 8 (04:08):
Occasionally we're walking walking the dogs and I have the
bag and I start like swinging, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
John's always like, could you not do that?
Speaker 7 (04:17):
And I forget. I like, hold onto a bag poo right.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
And occasionally it flies open and then it's a shower.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Ah, got mighty, Here we go. But steph, shit, bother you.
If somebody throws feces in your.
Speaker 9 (04:31):
Can, I personally don't care, but when I do walk
the dog, I feel bad putting it in someone else's
trash can. You do so I walked with it the
whole way, but it's mind, yeah, I think we got
to get it together and just assume that everybody's trash
can is up for crass.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
It's just so bizarre to me. It's like what so
I always think about that, Like if Jenn and I
are doing a little walks and I got like some
trash or something like that, and there's someone's cans like
down a little alley ways, it's like right to put
it in there. And I keep thinking to myself, somebody's
gonna come on, who do something on that. I'm just
gonna throw it on the ground beside it.
Speaker 8 (05:02):
Man, that's your own trash can about up two miles
from home.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Carry it with me.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
It's either beside your can or and.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
You can, that's right. Yeah, your choice.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Beside your can or in your coin? Can you choose,
mister or lady?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, what would you rather have, you know, dogs feces
on the side of your can or in your can?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Exactly? Yeah, either, Well you don't.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Have that choice.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah, you don't have that choice at all.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Man.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
It's weird. People get very territorial over their trash.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And it's a trash can. It is an odd thing.
It's a weird deal.
Speaker 7 (05:35):
I'm gonna go put some trash and Crozier's trash can.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Wo love that the outside of it? Please, I don't
want to see trash on the outside of the can.
I'm like, why would somebody put the trash on the
outside of the can? And the cans right there?
Speaker 7 (05:47):
That's Brian Reagan.
Speaker 8 (05:48):
Remember when Brian Reagan came to visit as Tim and
he was walking by and somebody had rolled up a
piece of paper and it was like a foot from
the and he he couldn't see men's down and he
goes you were So it's like Adam Corolla, you ever
see those?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
They don't exist anymore. But in the old days, bellyod
your dad ever smoked? Yeah, long time ago. Did he
have the bean bag ash tray on the door? All right,
so you know what I'm talking about. It's a bean
bag ash tray and you put it on the dashboard
and it fills with cigarette buds. And there's a little
smoke stain on the windshield the inside the windshield where
(06:26):
those smokes were brewing for decades. And then Corolla was
talking about you get to like a Long's drug, which
I don't think exists anymore. And the guy throws them
all out onto the street.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Right there where their door was.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah, he kept them for like two months and now
they're just bang right on the on the street or
in the parking lot.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Right. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I love the ash marks, like right where the where
the glass in the window meets the upper part of
your door from people that didn't want to roll down
their window all the way to flick their ashes. Yeah,
you see the accumulation of the burns on the upper
part of the the door.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
And you can also tell when a guy or gal
is really interested in how their hair looks and they smoke,
because they're gonna have burn marks on the top of
their car, on the roof of their car.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
On the inside.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, they put their hand their cigarette and their hand
through their hair. And then Christ is another another scorcher.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
You don't see the bean bag ash tray anymore, it's gone.
Did your dad have one?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Your dad smoked not cigarettes, but yeah, okay, yes he did.
My mom and dad both smokes cigarettes. And I remember
my dad and mom they would smoke cigarettes while like
taking six kids up to the mountains and all the
windows were closed.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
It doesn't really go on much anymore.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Everything that my dad did, I mean, dying from a
drug overdose. And he just had so much disdain for
people that smoke cigarettes, like his ex, my you know woman,
when I was thirteen, she smoked and he.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Just just those cats are like.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
Weird to say. And he had the argument, he was like,
those are all chemicals. This is all you know nature.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Was he doing hard drugs or just weed? He died
from crack? Oh okay, all right for the most part.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
He he once told me that he did everything but
heroin because he didn't like needles.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Really yeah, wow, man, that guy went for it. You
gotta give him that. Though a little of this, a
little bit of that.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
He was in a band in the seventies in Miami.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I got it, man, that was the time to be
in the Miami Miami band. Yeah that w what a life, Yeah,
what a life. How old was he when he passed away?
Speaker 5 (08:34):
He was forty?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Oh he was young?
Speaker 5 (08:38):
No, No, fifty eight fifty eight Yeah, okay, that's not bad. Yeah, yeah,
because I'm three years from his age.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Okay, So fifty eight to Night's run for a guy,
you know, doing crack and you know all kinds of he.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Was on and off. Yeah, he was on and off.
He would take years off and then he would go
through a good months or a year or something like
that doing bunch stuff. Yeah, I said's a touchdown.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, and he lived fifty eight and then, like you know,
in the band in Miami in the seventies, a lot
of people like that.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on Demyan from KF
I am six forty.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I was just talking to Bellio and she's great, She's great,
You're great. But belly O and I we sort of
the same, like the same upbringing. Both of our dads
were really into the racetrack. We knew when they hit,
we knew when they didn't and just a lot of
this similar vibe. Yeah, but I remember you remember, like
(09:32):
crowzy you go back, Steph, you probably don't, but Angel does.
When remember the cord that went from your home phone
to your receiver and it was all curled up, you know,
it's like like a like a big like a noodle. Yeah,
and if you stretched it out, you remember how pissed
Mom and Dad would get. Yes, you put a kink
(09:53):
in that noodle. Oh my god, I couldn't get that kink out, man,
when it twisted the other way.
Speaker 7 (09:57):
How do you get like that?
Speaker 5 (09:58):
I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
And then you'd hold it Steph said, you know, you
hold it upside down right, and it spins and you
try to do it that way, but it doesn't work.
And there's always that one kink, one kink in that cord.
Speaker 8 (10:08):
Or it would get so twisted that you could only
like pick up the phone like a two inches receiver
because it was so twisted.
Speaker 7 (10:15):
You're like, hold on, let me get that. I got
to get that right here.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I really think.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I don't think I've admitted this on the air before,
but I think I could have been Stutley or as
a kid, except for my mom and I blamed my
mom for the why is that, I'll tell you why.
When I was in third grade, I was going to
go to a Halloween party and I wanted to invite
a girl named Carrie to the to the Halloween party.
And and I we started school, you know, late August,
(10:45):
and this party was going to be in you know,
late October. And literally every single day I got home,
I got her number. Remember how I got a number,
but I got her phone number. And every single day
had come home, I'd sit near the phone. I'd write
stuff down to say to her, because I was so
nervous that sweet that I would run out.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Of things to say, like what kind of things.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Like write down you know, like hey, do you remember
when we were playing four square? You know, I kind
of crap, And you know, i'd write down her mom's
name and her dad name, so I didn't forget those.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
You know, I was buttoned up. I was buttoned up.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
And so every day I'd come home and i'd and
i'd sit near the phone. I remember sitting in the
kitchen right into the phone, and I'd go to dial
and then i'd i'd chicken out. I'd go out and
play and then I'd come back and I'd like, Okay,
now I'm gonna call. And then it was eight o'clock
at night. You couldn't call after eight. Yeah, so that
day was blown. I'd do the same thing over the
next day, the next day, the next day, weekends, weekdays, weekends, weekdays.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
For about four weeks, wow, four or five weeks.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I finally, I think I think I may have taken
a shot at my dad's gin up the courage to
call in third grade. Maybe maybe I don't know, I
don't know, I don't know. Maybe that's not true. But
but I finally got the courage to call. And it
was I get seven o'clock on a Sunday, and I
(12:15):
remember this very very specific. I think it was I
think it was the Sunday and was at seven o'clock
at night. I hit all seven buttons, calls going, you know,
before he had a dillary code calls on its way.
It wrings her mom answers, and I said, hey, you know,
I introduced myself and I said, hey, can I speak
(12:37):
to your daughter? And she said, uh, I guess so,
you know, very hesitant, I guess, so in third grades
called my daughter. But I just want to invite her,
you know, and go to go through This is so lame,
but I wanted to picture the idea of going to
the Halloween party as raggedy and and andy. How weak
(13:02):
is that that's cute?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
How weak is.
Speaker 7 (13:04):
That that's cute?
Speaker 6 (13:06):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I got it, get goosebumps. I'd like to be at
bottom of that ocean smooth. So I the phone. So
she goes hold on one say, and the girl gets
on the phone. She goes hello, I go, hey, it's uh,
It's it's Tim.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I'm in here.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
She goes yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
She goes, I know exactly who you are.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
And because I really did have much conversation with her
in school, I was pretty sure I like paralyzing paralyzed
with shyness. And we talked for like literally like thirty seconds,
and she goes, Oh, I'm so glad you call you
going to the party. I'm going to the Halloween party.
And I think it was at Wendy's house. I said, yeah, yeah,
it's right up the street from her. And all of
a sudden, my mom comes by and she goes, who
(13:51):
are you talking to? And I said, I'm talking to
a girl I know in school, and she hangs the
phone up. She goes, you're not talking to girls in
third grade in my house, hangs the.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Phone, Why would you do that? Hangs it up. That
was a rap. Didn't go to the Halloween party, didn't
go with her, that was a rap.
Speaker 7 (14:22):
Like you never spoke about it.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I'm still not over it. I'm sitting here, you know, sweating.
Speaker 7 (14:28):
You're working through it now.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I'm working through it right now, sweat my ass off.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But my mom was a very strict, strict woman, very
strict Catholic. Hey, look, she got kicked out of two churches,
two perishes because the priest wasn't on board with where
life started. You know. She was a strict strict Life
starts a conception period, and the period was the size
(14:53):
of like Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
There's no wiggle room with this woman, none.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
And so if a priest said, well, you know, there's
lot of people that you know, and she gets into
the you know, abortion with the you know, incest or whatever,
my Mom's.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Like, no, no, no, no, that's not that's bs.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It blew up and we got kicked out of two churches,
Saint Mel's Church in Woodland Hills that we got kicked
out of. Lady of Grace in scene and we ended
up in Saint Cyril's. We're the ones that just kept
drifting down Venture at Boulevard, being kicked out of one
massive Catholic church after another. But my mom had a policy,
unless you're married, you cannot have a woman sleepover at
(15:31):
her house, like when we went to visit her in Canada.
If I was, if I had a girlfriend, and sometimes
I did, we were not allowed to stay at my
mom's house as an adult. As an adult, I was
thirty seven Crozier. Wow, Wow, I was thirty seven. I
take this door off the hinges and had a pretty
serious girlfriend at thirty seven for thirty I don't know
(15:53):
thirty six. I gotta do the math on that. But
I was in my mid to late thirties. And she said,
you're not coming over with your girlfriend. She's not staying overnight.
And I said, but she'll stay in another room. No,
that's not happening. So when I got married and in
the early two thousands, everybody at my mom's place in
(16:17):
Canada thought I was marrying another guy because they said
they were like, wow, we never saw you with a woman.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I said, because my mom, it wasn't because of me
because my mom was crazy. I don't know if you
know that. I don't remember that she's crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
So she would allow you to have dudes over at
the place, Now, I don't think she would either.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Oh, I don't know she would have gone down that
road with Maine. I think that would have been another discussion.
So you weren't allowed to have any friends? No, No,
I could have friends over.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
But are you saying if I if I was in
a relationship with a guy, would the guy be able
to stay there?
Speaker 7 (16:53):
No?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
But what a guy friend? Yes, absolutely, a hundred percent. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And she was friends with all my friends. I mean
she knew like Fox, Mykennessee, McDaniel, all these guys. I
mean she you know, she grew up. Uh, they were
over at our house more than I think I was.
But this man, I think I could have really rolled
around if it wasn't for my mom paralyzing me.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
When I was thirty. Correct, I like I ever got
over that. I really don't.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I still run into that girl that I called on occasion,
and I run into her and I still get nervous
around her because of what happened.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
I was going to say, I was wondering at whether
or not you completely avoided her the next day in school.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I still see her today, I mean I saw her
a year ago.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
And she knows the story, and so.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
You've since explained that to her.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Oh I've told her that story twenty times.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
And she's like, I can't believe your mom did that
to you. I said, you can't, you can't. I was there.
How about being on Magnolia in the house that she
did it? Stand next to the yellow phone in the kitchen.
How about that guy?
Speaker 4 (17:51):
All right?
Speaker 5 (17:52):
Just see her going click yeah, and you just sitting
there silently looking me.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I still had the receiver.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
She clicked it on the on the phone, she pushed
it down on the phone, and I was still on,
going hello Hello. Then she grabs it for me. You're
not talking to a girl in third grade in my house.
That's never gonna happen again, all right, A right, all right?
How many more years until I'm eighteen?
Speaker 4 (18:16):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Where'd you buzzy?
Speaker 6 (18:23):
Now?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
You know you never get buzzed? Right? Ah?
Speaker 7 (18:28):
Not normally?
Speaker 8 (18:29):
Yeah, but I think Sunday I was did.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
You get sideway. You got sideways.
Speaker 7 (18:32):
Somewhere good sideways. I stopped it.
Speaker 8 (18:35):
I was at my favorite restaurant, North Italian. I love
that place, and I had the hugo. Oh it was
delicious and pound it No, I didn't pound it no.
And I almost went for a second hugo, but I
had to stop myself.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
How would you have ordered the second one?
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
To god time, bitches.
Speaker 7 (18:59):
If you haven't into North Italia, that is a great restaurant.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah, yeah, it's a great restaurant. It is awesome. There's
one up in Topanga, Topanga Plaza.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
That's more than one.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Oh yeah, it's a chain. Yeah it so you never
heard of North Italian.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Oh, Crozier, you would love it, real angel you bet
to North Italia.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
Where where is that off? But Jamboree?
Speaker 5 (19:22):
No, but I want to go.
Speaker 7 (19:23):
You will have it. You will love it.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You Crozier like shut Inso that's exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Where's it? Bellio? What will you buzz on? What'd you
drink there?
Speaker 7 (19:33):
The hugo?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
What's in the hugo?
Speaker 7 (19:36):
It was.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Mint?
Speaker 8 (19:39):
I think citrus, prosecco and elderberry.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Woof ah. And you and you knocked off one of
those I did you didn't want a second.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
I wanted a second.
Speaker 8 (19:49):
I had to stop myself because I was become a
bit of a lightweight, so I was feeling it.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Oh yeah, do you get giggling or you get angry?
You an angry drunk?
Speaker 6 (19:58):
No?
Speaker 7 (19:58):
I get talkative?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
No?
Speaker 7 (20:00):
Yeah, really, you get really talking.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
That's how I notice stop myself because when I start
talking a lot, but I have that presence of mind,
it's like.
Speaker 7 (20:10):
Okay, I think I'm talking too much. Maybe I should stop.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeah, And then she gets insulting, like, oh I think
I'm turning into angels.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
It's an insult.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Really?
Speaker 7 (20:21):
Oh is it?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Crow?
Speaker 7 (20:25):
Because some people would think it is a highest and
that's how I would have meant it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
That's exactly right. When's the last time Angel you got buzzed?
Or are you.
Speaker 7 (20:39):
Currently every show? Every show?
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I got buzz last night? What about you? Crow? When
was the last time you hammered anything? Saturday? Really? You
didn't drink anything on Sunday? No or Monday?
Speaker 6 (20:55):
No?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
What do you wanna?
Speaker 5 (20:57):
Are you in a program getting older? I got to
back out?
Speaker 7 (21:00):
And what were you drinking Saturday? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
The question is what was No, I'm drinking.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
Usually it's it's mules.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 7 (21:12):
And how buzzed were you?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Nothing?
Speaker 5 (21:14):
Big? Nothing big? I don't remember last time I've like
been like head under the table?
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Are you angry?
Speaker 7 (21:20):
Drunk?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Are you happy or talking to.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
I'm pretty I'm kind of like Sharon and I get
a little bit chatty, but otherwise I'm mellow.
Speaker 7 (21:27):
What about you, Conway? When was the last time you
were buzzed?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Last night?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, like every night. You know, you gotta
hit it hard.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Really, and what are you like buzzed?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
I enjoy life more so, I'm happy er, but I
don't feel any different. I mean, I you know, unless
I had a lot, Like if I had like ten shots,
i'd be buzzed.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But I think, I mean, I'm not gonna do this.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I don't write to us, but I think after like
five or six shots, I could drive to Cleveland. Really, yeah,
I don't think it's any difference.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
By the way, I was looking at this North Tier restaurant.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
What a thing to put out there.
Speaker 7 (22:08):
Jesus, they're taking.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Well, it's just listening to KF. I used to be
a rush Limbaugh station.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
What's going on now? What that guy say you could
take five shots and try to Cleveland. Got a mighty
going on with this guy. But I don't feel any different.
Speaker 8 (22:24):
Do you know, you come in to the show buzz
I'd like to experience that.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
No, but I would get buzzed during the show.
Speaker 7 (22:31):
Can we do it tomorrow night.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Let's see what I gotta do the next day, because
I'm pretty out of it the next day.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
But yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I don't think you could tell if I had, really
if I started four pm and I had five shots
between four and seven pm, I don't think you could tell.
Speaker 7 (22:49):
I bet I could.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I bet you couldn't.
Speaker 7 (22:51):
I'm pretty tune with you.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I mean if you looked at me, I'd probably be
a little red.
Speaker 7 (22:55):
Yeah that's how I would.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah, but I mean you couldn't tell voice wise. I mean,
I don't think you could tell. I'm going to come in,
I'm going to take five shots, and you try to guess.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Which day it was it is on.
Speaker 7 (23:06):
I love this, I love this, Okay, Yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
You can't come in here and look around, you know
like you always do, where you sift through the trash
and you know, sniff around.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
You're listening to Tim Conway, jun you're on demand from
KF I am six forty.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
Jaye Leonard, nice to see you, Mane.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
You good to see when we took a tour of
your garage. You're a very nice John. What's John's last name?
John Parrah, John Parrat What a sweet man that is
who gave it a tour and you've been lifelong friends
with it? Or since you've been out of here you've
been friends with him? Oh yeah, very loyal to your friends.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
Yeah, exactly exactly. That's why I'm here. That's exactly right.
I think had such bigger shows.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
That's exactly right. We were we took the tour of
your garage. Oh you're on TV now too with Yamava.
That must have taken all day to shoot all those
different angles. Nook really half hour? I I work very quickly.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Did they today? Did they come to you or you
went to that came to the garage? Boom banging out here?
And what are you giving away a Lexus this time?
Speaker 6 (24:06):
It's I think let lexis is time and we have
a super coming up, another guard you know, my favorite one.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
We gave away a rolls Rice.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
Wow, this is unbelievable and this is absolutely true. The
guy that wins twenty two year old security guard from China,
been here eight months? Okay from an excitement point of view,
probably the worst guy to win the money.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
He wins a million dollars.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
American, thank you. Okay.
Speaker 6 (24:35):
So he goes, are you happy about about the Rolls race?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (24:39):
Yes, very beautiful car. Okay, Well thank you think and
that this this hand to God, this is true. I
give him the keys to the Rolls Rice. He walks
fifteen feet to the slot machine, holds the handle, and
wins one million dollars.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Is that right?
Speaker 6 (24:57):
A security guard from jo from China. He's Aaron a
Visa Wow, Rolls Royce and a million dollars.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Welcome to America.
Speaker 8 (25:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Now, He writes everybody a letter back in China and goes, hey,
you gotta get here, you gotta go here.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Let's see what they do.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Unreal?
Speaker 1 (25:14):
But isn't that unbelievable. We did a we were having
a giveaway that we did for R. E. M. Mattress
and they're like six or seven thousand dollars beds, and
we did a remote in Burbank and we said, we're
going to give away one of these seven thousand dollars beds.
So if you show up, somebody's gonna win. So two
hundred people show up. They wait around for the whole broadcast,
(25:36):
and then we pick out one person's name. You know,
Dale Hennings is Dale Hennings. Here, anybody Dale Headings, going once,
going twice. He's way in the back of the store
buying a mattress and now he just won one. And
that's the only one with that he sold all day.
Is the giveaway, yo, The only guy with the credit
card buying a mattress just won the free one.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
I got a mattress story for you in my house
at tonight. D I get a call from Warren Buffett. Okay,
he goes Jay, Okay, he goes a friend of mine.
It's a mattress store in Omaha. He wants me to
be in a commercial. I said, I do. I don't
know what to do. I'm not comfortable. I don't want
to talk about I said, I said, Warren, hiss, what
to do? You go in the lie down in the bed,
Just lie down in bed and go to sleep. And
(26:19):
some will come in and say is that Warren Buffett
sleeping on the a And the owner of the store
will say, oh, yes, he comes there every day to
sleep because our mattress is so comfortable. So I get
a call from More the next day.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Genius, thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
They oh yeah, because he was so he didn't want
to he didn't want to be nervous. But that's a
good mat you know.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
But it was totally he just pretended to be asleep.
Woman comes in. Is that my Warren buffet sleeping there?
He comes there every day to sleep.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, that's fantastic. You know,
my dad was a big Cadillac guy. Did your was
your dad a Cadillac?
Speaker 6 (26:52):
Well, the first thing I did when I made money,
I bought my dad a Cadillac. And not just any Cadillac,
the Italian Cadillac, Wow white with red Laura Polster. This
was the most garish. And my mother was My mother
was from Scotland.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
She was so oh, Jimmy, jimmy, your father that Cadillac.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
Like when we would go for a ride, I'd sit
in the back, my mother and father be in the front. Well,
we pulled up to a light, people would look at
the Cadillac and my mother made all.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Down the window.
Speaker 7 (27:19):
We're not really Cadillac people.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Our son got us and.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
Then we're driving a Cadio Cadillac and they would start
fighting and the people would take off.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Oh it was oh, hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
My dad bought a Seville or a Coupe Deville back
in the late seventies, and he bought it from a dealership.
I don't want to say the name of the dealership,
but it's in the Van Eys area. I'm sure you
know which one it is. And he drives it home
in the middle of July and the heater is on.
The heater won't go off, and so he gets home,
he sweating his ass off, and he takes it back
(27:51):
to him and says, hey, the heaters on. And they said, oh, sorry,
mister Cohn, we will take care of that. It was
in the shop for a week. He picks it up,
drives it home. The heater's on again. The heater is on.
In the middle of now at the beginning of August,
takes it back a third time. The heater's on. Oh,
we'll give you a loaner here it is. Third time
he gets it home, the heat's not on. We go
out after you know, church on a Sunday, goes to
(28:13):
turn the air conditioning on.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
It's broken. Then the heater comes on.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
So he takes it to the dealership and he pulls
it right up to one of their twenty foot glass
windows and he puts the bumper on the window, then
inches forward and the whole window shows and he gives
them the keys. He goes, hey, fellas, the heater's on.
And that was really out of character of my dad,
(28:37):
but he was, you know, he paid a lot of
money for the car that heater was on.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
There you go there, that'll do it.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
But I tell you, Cadillac, over the last like ten
or fifteen years, the way they've put together these cars,
it almost seems like a high end import, you know, like.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
You know what it is.
Speaker 6 (28:53):
It's the great the best thing that had happened to
De troits going bankrupt.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Oh was that right?
Speaker 6 (28:57):
Because they got rid of all the ad eyes and
the guys that came from Whirlpool or may Tag to
sell cars, and they brought in engineer. Yeah right, yeah, exactly.
Now you have engineer. Now you have Cadillac entering F
one racing. This is the highest, most expensive, most scientific,
expensive kind of racing in the world. And Cadillac is
(29:18):
right in there with Ferrari and all these les. So
it's going to be exciting. I mean, American engineers are
now kind of the I envy the world. I think.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
So the fact that we can.
Speaker 6 (29:29):
Produce a car like a Corvette for eighty thousand dollars
in a union shop, it'sredible and everybody gets full benefits
and the Chinese paying two balls an hour can barely
match it.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yes, it is great.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
So the F one, the Cadillac sewing Is are gonna
have the vlure seats.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Now I won't have the vlor seats. No they Okay,
can you stay with us? Sorry? Jay Leno's with us?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Everybody Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now
you can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app
It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to The
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Shannon Farren
was talking about people dumping their dog Doodo into her
trash can, and the promo sounds something like this, when
you put your.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Dog in my garbage can after the garbageman's already been there,
I'm going to wheel that thing back in there and
smell your dogs for another week. And I decided that
I would make a laminated sign and put it on
the trash ban that says, hey, can you just move
on to.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
The next one?
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Carry and Shannon, have I.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Made the sign?
Speaker 5 (00:37):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Do I still get angry?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
YESI and on demand anytime on the iHeartRadio.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
This happened to me today on the way to work.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
There's a guy walking down We live on an alley,
I know, pretty ritzy, huh. Guy walking down the alley
and he goes to put his dog's feces in my
trash cam and I at the same time, I opened
the garage door and he closes the lid and he
(01:09):
grabs the dog Dodo, and he walks away, and I said, I.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Said, hey, hey, hey, hey hey.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
He goes, oh, no, no, he because I'm not gonna put
it in I said, no, no, no, no, feel free to
put it in there.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
You can put anything you want in there. I don't
give a rat's ass. You can.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You can literally put a baby grand piano in there.
I don't care. I'm not one of those guys that cares.
You want to put your dog doodo in there instead
of carrying it around because you look like an idiot
carrying a bag of dog feces, that little green, tiny
bag that's all tied up and you're walking around. How
do you think your dog feels when you're walking around
(01:47):
with your dog's s in your hand?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Doesn't he feel like he sort of owns you? I
would think so.
Speaker 5 (01:55):
When I had the dog and I had and I
was the one doing the walks with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's why I prefer cats personally.
Speaker 6 (02:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
I have to clean it out, then clean the box out,
but it's like a one and done now every single
time they go to the bathroom, I have to be there.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
But our dogs.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
When, first of all, you can throw anything want in
our can and I don't know it bothers my wife
though maybe it's a gender thing. I don't know, but
it bothers my wife if somebody throws you know, their
dog ass in earththam.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, but I it also it doesn't bother me either.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
When somebody goes through my recyclables to take out cans,
I don't care. Look it's on the street, it's it's
it's up for grabs as soon.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
As they keep the area clean.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
As a matter of fact, this happened in Tarzana. We
lived in Tarzana. We used to throw all our bottles
and cans into you know, the blue recycled bin like
everybody does, I guess, And this guy was pulling out
bottle after bottle and he got so tired of it
he just took the whole blue can, through it on
the truck and left. And I thought it was hysterical
(03:00):
guys leaving. He's like, I don't want to go through
all this crap. I almost going to take the can
do it. Later, I thought it was great, man, the
ball's on that guy right. Not only did take the recyclables,
but take the whole canon split.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I thought that was great.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
But it is maybe I don't know, Belly, are you
are you disturbed by that? If somebody throws some.
Speaker 7 (03:21):
I don't like it. You don't like it, right, I
don't like it? Okay, like go because Shannon's right, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Well let's not say she's right. Let's just say you
agree with her.
Speaker 7 (03:31):
Okay, I agree with Shannon.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Okay, because because that makes me feel bad.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
If you say Shannon's right and I don't care, I
feel like less of a human being.
Speaker 7 (03:38):
Well, that's on you are right?
Speaker 6 (03:40):
No?
Speaker 8 (03:41):
Uh yes, they throw it into your emptied trash and
you bring it back and then you had to wait
a week with that in there.
Speaker 7 (03:45):
Yeah, there's those that creates issues.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Right, But it doesn't smell. I mean it's tied off.
If it's tied off nicely, it's I think it's air tight.
I don't think there's any issue there. Yeah, but at
least they're not leaving it on the street.
Speaker 7 (03:57):
No, I understand that. But why can't they take it
back to their trash can?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Because if you walk around with that green bag in
your hand, nothing says if you do goofball.
Speaker 7 (04:06):
If you have a dog, you're used to doing that. Nah.
Speaker 8 (04:08):
Occasionally we're walking walking the dogs and I have the
bag and I start like swinging, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
John's always like, could you not do that?
Speaker 7 (04:17):
And I forget. I like, hold onto a bag poo right.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
And occasionally it flies open and then it's a shower.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Ah, got mighty, Here we go. But steph, shit, bother you.
If somebody throws feces in your.
Speaker 9 (04:31):
Can, I personally don't care, but when I do walk
the dog, I feel bad putting it in someone else's
trash can. You do so I walked with it the
whole way, but it's mind, yeah, I think we got
to get it together and just assume that everybody's trash
can is up for crass.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
It's just so bizarre to me. It's like what so
I always think about that, Like if Jenn and I
are doing a little walks and I got like some
trash or something like that, and there's someone's cans like
down a little alley ways, it's like right to put
it in there. And I keep thinking to myself, somebody's
gonna come on, who do something on that. I'm just
gonna throw it on the ground beside it.
Speaker 8 (05:02):
Man, that's your own trash can about up two miles
from home.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Carry it with me.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
It's either beside your can or and.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
You can, that's right. Yeah, your choice.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Beside your can or in your coin? Can you choose,
mister or lady?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, what would you rather have, you know, dogs feces
on the side of your can or in your can?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Exactly? Yeah, either, Well you don't.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Have that choice.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah, you don't have that choice at all.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Man.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
It's weird. People get very territorial over their trash.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And it's a trash can. It is an odd thing.
It's a weird deal.
Speaker 7 (05:35):
I'm gonna go put some trash and Crozier's trash can.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Wo love that the outside of it? Please, I don't
want to see trash on the outside of the can.
I'm like, why would somebody put the trash on the
outside of the can? And the cans right there?
Speaker 7 (05:47):
That's Brian Reagan.
Speaker 8 (05:48):
Remember when Brian Reagan came to visit as Tim and
he was walking by and somebody had rolled up a
piece of paper and it was like a foot from
the and he he couldn't see men's down and he
goes you were So it's like Adam Corolla, you ever
see those?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
They don't exist anymore. But in the old days, bellyod
your dad ever smoked? Yeah, long time ago. Did he
have the bean bag ash tray on the door? All right,
so you know what I'm talking about. It's a bean
bag ash tray and you put it on the dashboard
and it fills with cigarette buds. And there's a little
smoke stain on the windshield the inside the windshield where
(06:26):
those smokes were brewing for decades. And then Corolla was
talking about you get to like a Long's drug, which
I don't think exists anymore. And the guy throws them
all out onto the street.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Right there where their door was.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah, he kept them for like two months and now
they're just bang right on the on the street or
in the parking lot.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Right. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I love the ash marks, like right where the where
the glass in the window meets the upper part of
your door from people that didn't want to roll down
their window all the way to flick their ashes. Yeah,
you see the accumulation of the burns on the upper
part of the the door.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
And you can also tell when a guy or gal
is really interested in how their hair looks and they smoke,
because they're gonna have burn marks on the top of
their car, on the roof of their car.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
On the inside.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, they put their hand their cigarette and their hand
through their hair. And then Christ is another another scorcher.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
You don't see the bean bag ash tray anymore, it's gone.
Did your dad have one?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Your dad smoked not cigarettes, but yeah, okay, yes he did.
My mom and dad both smokes cigarettes. And I remember
my dad and mom they would smoke cigarettes while like
taking six kids up to the mountains and all the
windows were closed.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
It doesn't really go on much anymore.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Everything that my dad did, I mean, dying from a
drug overdose. And he just had so much disdain for
people that smoke cigarettes, like his ex, my you know woman,
when I was thirteen, she smoked and he.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Just just those cats are like.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
Weird to say. And he had the argument, he was like,
those are all chemicals. This is all you know nature.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Was he doing hard drugs or just weed? He died
from crack? Oh okay, all right for the most part.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
He he once told me that he did everything but
heroin because he didn't like needles.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Really yeah, wow, man, that guy went for it. You
gotta give him that. Though a little of this, a
little bit of that.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
He was in a band in the seventies in Miami.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I got it, man, that was the time to be
in the Miami Miami band. Yeah that w what a life, Yeah,
what a life. How old was he when he passed away?
Speaker 5 (08:34):
He was forty?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Oh he was young?
Speaker 5 (08:38):
No, No, fifty eight fifty eight Yeah, okay, that's not bad. Yeah, yeah,
because I'm three years from his age.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Okay, So fifty eight to Night's run for a guy,
you know, doing crack and you know all kinds of he.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Was on and off. Yeah, he was on and off.
He would take years off and then he would go
through a good months or a year or something like
that doing bunch stuff. Yeah, I said's a touchdown.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, and he lived fifty eight and then, like you know,
in the band in Miami in the seventies, a lot
of people like that.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on Demyan from KF
I am six forty.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I was just talking to Bellio and she's great, She's great,
You're great. But belly O and I we sort of
the same, like the same upbringing. Both of our dads
were really into the racetrack. We knew when they hit,
we knew when they didn't and just a lot of
this similar vibe. Yeah, but I remember you remember, like
(09:32):
crowzy you go back, Steph, you probably don't, but Angel does.
When remember the cord that went from your home phone
to your receiver and it was all curled up, you know,
it's like like a like a big like a noodle. Yeah,
and if you stretched it out, you remember how pissed
Mom and Dad would get. Yes, you put a kink
(09:53):
in that noodle. Oh my god, I couldn't get that kink out, man,
when it twisted the other way.
Speaker 7 (09:57):
How do you get like that?
Speaker 5 (09:58):
I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
And then you'd hold it Steph said, you know, you
hold it upside down right, and it spins and you
try to do it that way, but it doesn't work.
And there's always that one kink, one kink in that cord.
Speaker 8 (10:08):
Or it would get so twisted that you could only
like pick up the phone like a two inches receiver
because it was so twisted.
Speaker 7 (10:15):
You're like, hold on, let me get that. I got
to get that right here.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I really think.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I don't think I've admitted this on the air before,
but I think I could have been Stutley or as
a kid, except for my mom and I blamed my
mom for the why is that, I'll tell you why.
When I was in third grade, I was going to
go to a Halloween party and I wanted to invite
a girl named Carrie to the to the Halloween party.
And and I we started school, you know, late August,
(10:45):
and this party was going to be in you know,
late October. And literally every single day I got home,
I got her number. Remember how I got a number,
but I got her phone number. And every single day
had come home, I'd sit near the phone. I'd write
stuff down to say to her, because I was so
nervous that sweet that I would run out.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Of things to say, like what kind of things.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Like write down you know, like hey, do you remember
when we were playing four square? You know, I kind
of crap, And you know, i'd write down her mom's
name and her dad name, so I didn't forget those.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
You know, I was buttoned up. I was buttoned up.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
And so every day I'd come home and i'd and
i'd sit near the phone. I remember sitting in the
kitchen right into the phone, and I'd go to dial
and then i'd i'd chicken out. I'd go out and
play and then I'd come back and I'd like, Okay,
now I'm gonna call. And then it was eight o'clock
at night. You couldn't call after eight. Yeah, so that
day was blown. I'd do the same thing over the
next day, the next day, the next day, weekends, weekdays, weekends, weekdays.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
For about four weeks, wow, four or five weeks.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I finally, I think I think I may have taken
a shot at my dad's gin up the courage to
call in third grade. Maybe maybe I don't know, I
don't know, I don't know. Maybe that's not true. But
but I finally got the courage to call. And it
was I get seven o'clock on a Sunday, and I
(12:15):
remember this very very specific. I think it was I
think it was the Sunday and was at seven o'clock
at night. I hit all seven buttons, calls going, you know,
before he had a dillary code calls on its way.
It wrings her mom answers, and I said, hey, you know,
I introduced myself and I said, hey, can I speak
(12:37):
to your daughter? And she said, uh, I guess so,
you know, very hesitant, I guess, so in third grades
called my daughter. But I just want to invite her,
you know, and go to go through This is so lame,
but I wanted to picture the idea of going to
the Halloween party as raggedy and and andy. How weak
(13:02):
is that that's cute?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
How weak is.
Speaker 7 (13:04):
That that's cute?
Speaker 6 (13:06):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I got it, get goosebumps. I'd like to be at
bottom of that ocean smooth. So I the phone. So
she goes hold on one say, and the girl gets
on the phone. She goes hello, I go, hey, it's uh,
It's it's Tim.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I'm in here.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
She goes yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
She goes, I know exactly who you are.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
And because I really did have much conversation with her
in school, I was pretty sure I like paralyzing paralyzed
with shyness. And we talked for like literally like thirty seconds,
and she goes, Oh, I'm so glad you call you
going to the party. I'm going to the Halloween party.
And I think it was at Wendy's house. I said, yeah, yeah,
it's right up the street from her. And all of
a sudden, my mom comes by and she goes, who
(13:51):
are you talking to? And I said, I'm talking to
a girl I know in school, and she hangs the
phone up. She goes, you're not talking to girls in
third grade in my house, hangs the.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Phone, Why would you do that? Hangs it up. That
was a rap. Didn't go to the Halloween party, didn't
go with her, that was a rap.
Speaker 7 (14:22):
Like you never spoke about it.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I'm still not over it. I'm sitting here, you know, sweating.
Speaker 7 (14:28):
You're working through it now.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I'm working through it right now, sweat my ass off.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But my mom was a very strict, strict woman, very
strict Catholic. Hey, look, she got kicked out of two churches,
two perishes because the priest wasn't on board with where
life started. You know. She was a strict strict Life
starts a conception period, and the period was the size
(14:53):
of like Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
There's no wiggle room with this woman, none.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
And so if a priest said, well, you know, there's
lot of people that you know, and she gets into
the you know, abortion with the you know, incest or whatever,
my Mom's.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Like, no, no, no, no, that's not that's bs.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It blew up and we got kicked out of two churches,
Saint Mel's Church in Woodland Hills that we got kicked
out of. Lady of Grace in scene and we ended
up in Saint Cyril's. We're the ones that just kept
drifting down Venture at Boulevard, being kicked out of one
massive Catholic church after another. But my mom had a policy,
unless you're married, you cannot have a woman sleepover at
(15:31):
her house, like when we went to visit her in Canada.
If I was, if I had a girlfriend, and sometimes
I did, we were not allowed to stay at my
mom's house as an adult. As an adult, I was
thirty seven Crozier. Wow, Wow, I was thirty seven. I
take this door off the hinges and had a pretty
serious girlfriend at thirty seven for thirty I don't know
(15:53):
thirty six. I gotta do the math on that. But
I was in my mid to late thirties. And she said,
you're not coming over with your girlfriend. She's not staying overnight.
And I said, but she'll stay in another room. No,
that's not happening. So when I got married and in
the early two thousands, everybody at my mom's place in
(16:17):
Canada thought I was marrying another guy because they said
they were like, wow, we never saw you with a woman.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I said, because my mom, it wasn't because of me
because my mom was crazy. I don't know if you
know that. I don't remember that she's crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
So she would allow you to have dudes over at
the place, Now, I don't think she would either.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Oh, I don't know she would have gone down that
road with Maine. I think that would have been another discussion.
So you weren't allowed to have any friends? No, No,
I could have friends over.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
But are you saying if I if I was in
a relationship with a guy, would the guy be able
to stay there?
Speaker 7 (16:53):
No?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
But what a guy friend? Yes, absolutely, a hundred percent. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And she was friends with all my friends. I mean
she knew like Fox, Mykennessee, McDaniel, all these guys. I
mean she you know, she grew up. Uh, they were
over at our house more than I think I was.
But this man, I think I could have really rolled
around if it wasn't for my mom paralyzing me.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
When I was thirty. Correct, I like I ever got
over that. I really don't.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I still run into that girl that I called on occasion,
and I run into her and I still get nervous
around her because of what happened.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
I was going to say, I was wondering at whether
or not you completely avoided her the next day in school.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I still see her today, I mean I saw her
a year ago.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
And she knows the story, and so.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
You've since explained that to her.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Oh I've told her that story twenty times.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
And she's like, I can't believe your mom did that
to you. I said, you can't, you can't. I was there.
How about being on Magnolia in the house that she
did it? Stand next to the yellow phone in the kitchen.
How about that guy?
Speaker 4 (17:51):
All right?
Speaker 5 (17:52):
Just see her going click yeah, and you just sitting
there silently looking me.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I still had the receiver.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
She clicked it on the on the phone, she pushed
it down on the phone, and I was still on,
going hello Hello. Then she grabs it for me. You're
not talking to a girl in third grade in my house.
That's never gonna happen again, all right, A right, all right?
How many more years until I'm eighteen?
Speaker 4 (18:16):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Where'd you buzzy?
Speaker 6 (18:23):
Now?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
You know you never get buzzed? Right? Ah?
Speaker 7 (18:28):
Not normally?
Speaker 8 (18:29):
Yeah, but I think Sunday I was did.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
You get sideway. You got sideways.
Speaker 7 (18:32):
Somewhere good sideways. I stopped it.
Speaker 8 (18:35):
I was at my favorite restaurant, North Italian. I love
that place, and I had the hugo. Oh it was
delicious and pound it No, I didn't pound it no.
And I almost went for a second hugo, but I
had to stop myself.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
How would you have ordered the second one?
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
To god time, bitches.
Speaker 7 (18:59):
If you haven't into North Italia, that is a great restaurant.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah, yeah, it's a great restaurant. It is awesome. There's
one up in Topanga, Topanga Plaza.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
That's more than one.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Oh yeah, it's a chain. Yeah it so you never
heard of North Italian.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Oh, Crozier, you would love it, real angel you bet
to North Italia.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
Where where is that off? But Jamboree?
Speaker 5 (19:22):
No, but I want to go.
Speaker 7 (19:23):
You will have it. You will love it.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You Crozier like shut Inso that's exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Where's it? Bellio? What will you buzz on? What'd you
drink there?
Speaker 7 (19:33):
The hugo?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
What's in the hugo?
Speaker 7 (19:36):
It was.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Mint?
Speaker 8 (19:39):
I think citrus, prosecco and elderberry.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Woof ah. And you and you knocked off one of
those I did you didn't want a second.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
I wanted a second.
Speaker 8 (19:49):
I had to stop myself because I was become a
bit of a lightweight, so I was feeling it.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Oh yeah, do you get giggling or you get angry?
You an angry drunk?
Speaker 6 (19:58):
No?
Speaker 7 (19:58):
I get talkative?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
No?
Speaker 7 (20:00):
Yeah, really, you get really talking.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
That's how I notice stop myself because when I start
talking a lot, but I have that presence of mind,
it's like.
Speaker 7 (20:10):
Okay, I think I'm talking too much. Maybe I should stop.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeah, And then she gets insulting, like, oh I think
I'm turning into angels.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
It's an insult.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Really?
Speaker 7 (20:21):
Oh is it?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Crow?
Speaker 7 (20:25):
Because some people would think it is a highest and
that's how I would have meant it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
That's exactly right. When's the last time Angel you got buzzed?
Or are you.
Speaker 7 (20:39):
Currently every show? Every show?
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I got buzz last night? What about you? Crow? When
was the last time you hammered anything? Saturday? Really? You
didn't drink anything on Sunday? No or Monday?
Speaker 6 (20:55):
No?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
What do you wanna?
Speaker 5 (20:57):
Are you in a program getting older? I got to
back out?
Speaker 7 (21:00):
And what were you drinking Saturday? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
The question is what was No, I'm drinking.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
Usually it's it's mules.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 7 (21:12):
And how buzzed were you?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Nothing?
Speaker 5 (21:14):
Big? Nothing big? I don't remember last time I've like
been like head under the table?
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Are you angry?
Speaker 7 (21:20):
Drunk?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Are you happy or talking to.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
I'm pretty I'm kind of like Sharon and I get
a little bit chatty, but otherwise I'm mellow.
Speaker 7 (21:27):
What about you, Conway? When was the last time you
were buzzed?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Last night?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, like every night. You know, you gotta
hit it hard.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Really, and what are you like buzzed?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
I enjoy life more so, I'm happy er, but I
don't feel any different. I mean, I you know, unless
I had a lot, Like if I had like ten shots,
i'd be buzzed.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But I think, I mean, I'm not gonna do this.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I don't write to us, but I think after like
five or six shots, I could drive to Cleveland. Really, yeah,
I don't think it's any difference.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
By the way, I was looking at this North Tier restaurant.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
What a thing to put out there.
Speaker 7 (22:08):
Jesus, they're taking.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Well, it's just listening to KF. I used to be
a rush Limbaugh station.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
What's going on now? What that guy say you could
take five shots and try to Cleveland. Got a mighty
going on with this guy. But I don't feel any different.
Speaker 8 (22:24):
Do you know, you come in to the show buzz
I'd like to experience that.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
No, but I would get buzzed during the show.
Speaker 7 (22:31):
Can we do it tomorrow night.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Let's see what I gotta do the next day, because
I'm pretty out of it the next day.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
But yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I don't think you could tell if I had, really
if I started four pm and I had five shots
between four and seven pm, I don't think you could tell.
Speaker 7 (22:49):
I bet I could.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I bet you couldn't.
Speaker 7 (22:51):
I'm pretty tune with you.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I mean if you looked at me, I'd probably be
a little red.
Speaker 7 (22:55):
Yeah that's how I would.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah, but I mean you couldn't tell voice wise. I mean,
I don't think you could tell. I'm going to come in,
I'm going to take five shots, and you try to guess.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Which day it was it is on.
Speaker 7 (23:06):
I love this, I love this, Okay, Yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
You can't come in here and look around, you know
like you always do, where you sift through the trash
and you know, sniff around.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
You're listening to Tim Conway, jun you're on demand from
KF I am six forty.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
Jaye Leonard, nice to see you, Mane.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
You good to see when we took a tour of
your garage. You're a very nice John. What's John's last name?
John Parrah, John Parrat What a sweet man that is
who gave it a tour and you've been lifelong friends
with it? Or since you've been out of here you've
been friends with him? Oh yeah, very loyal to your friends.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
Yeah, exactly exactly. That's why I'm here. That's exactly right.
I think had such bigger shows.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
That's exactly right. We were we took the tour of
your garage. Oh you're on TV now too with Yamava.
That must have taken all day to shoot all those
different angles. Nook really half hour? I I work very quickly.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Did they today? Did they come to you or you
went to that came to the garage? Boom banging out here?
And what are you giving away a Lexus this time?
Speaker 6 (24:06):
It's I think let lexis is time and we have
a super coming up, another guard you know, my favorite one.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
We gave away a rolls Rice.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
Wow, this is unbelievable and this is absolutely true. The
guy that wins twenty two year old security guard from China,
been here eight months? Okay from an excitement point of view,
probably the worst guy to win the money.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
He wins a million dollars.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
American, thank you. Okay.
Speaker 6 (24:35):
So he goes, are you happy about about the Rolls race?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (24:39):
Yes, very beautiful car. Okay, Well thank you think and
that this this hand to God, this is true. I
give him the keys to the Rolls Rice. He walks
fifteen feet to the slot machine, holds the handle, and
wins one million dollars.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Is that right?
Speaker 6 (24:57):
A security guard from jo from China. He's Aaron a
Visa Wow, Rolls Royce and a million dollars.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Welcome to America.
Speaker 8 (25:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Now, He writes everybody a letter back in China and goes, hey,
you gotta get here, you gotta go here.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Let's see what they do.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Unreal?
Speaker 1 (25:14):
But isn't that unbelievable. We did a we were having
a giveaway that we did for R. E. M. Mattress
and they're like six or seven thousand dollars beds, and
we did a remote in Burbank and we said, we're
going to give away one of these seven thousand dollars beds.
So if you show up, somebody's gonna win. So two
hundred people show up. They wait around for the whole broadcast,
(25:36):
and then we pick out one person's name. You know,
Dale Hennings is Dale Hennings. Here, anybody Dale Headings, going once,
going twice. He's way in the back of the store
buying a mattress and now he just won one. And
that's the only one with that he sold all day.
Is the giveaway, yo, The only guy with the credit
card buying a mattress just won the free one.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
I got a mattress story for you in my house
at tonight. D I get a call from Warren Buffett. Okay,
he goes Jay, Okay, he goes a friend of mine.
It's a mattress store in Omaha. He wants me to
be in a commercial. I said, I do. I don't
know what to do. I'm not comfortable. I don't want
to talk about I said, I said, Warren, hiss, what
to do? You go in the lie down in the bed,
Just lie down in bed and go to sleep. And
(26:19):
some will come in and say is that Warren Buffett
sleeping on the a And the owner of the store
will say, oh, yes, he comes there every day to
sleep because our mattress is so comfortable. So I get
a call from More the next day.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Genius, thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
They oh yeah, because he was so he didn't want
to he didn't want to be nervous. But that's a
good mat you know.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
But it was totally he just pretended to be asleep.
Woman comes in. Is that my Warren buffet sleeping there?
He comes there every day to sleep.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, that's fantastic. You know,
my dad was a big Cadillac guy. Did your was
your dad a Cadillac?
Speaker 6 (26:52):
Well, the first thing I did when I made money,
I bought my dad a Cadillac. And not just any Cadillac,
the Italian Cadillac, Wow white with red Laura Polster. This
was the most garish. And my mother was My mother
was from Scotland.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
She was so oh, Jimmy, jimmy, your father that Cadillac.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
Like when we would go for a ride, I'd sit
in the back, my mother and father be in the front. Well,
we pulled up to a light, people would look at
the Cadillac and my mother made all.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Down the window.
Speaker 7 (27:19):
We're not really Cadillac people.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Our son got us and.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
Then we're driving a Cadio Cadillac and they would start
fighting and the people would take off.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Oh it was oh, hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
My dad bought a Seville or a Coupe Deville back
in the late seventies, and he bought it from a dealership.
I don't want to say the name of the dealership,
but it's in the Van Eys area. I'm sure you
know which one it is. And he drives it home
in the middle of July and the heater is on.
The heater won't go off, and so he gets home,
he sweating his ass off, and he takes it back
(27:51):
to him and says, hey, the heaters on. And they said, oh, sorry,
mister Cohn, we will take care of that. It was
in the shop for a week. He picks it up,
drives it home. The heater's on again. The heater is on.
In the middle of now at the beginning of August,
takes it back a third time. The heater's on. Oh,
we'll give you a loaner here it is. Third time
he gets it home, the heat's not on. We go
out after you know, church on a Sunday, goes to
(28:13):
turn the air conditioning on.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
It's broken. Then the heater comes on.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
So he takes it to the dealership and he pulls
it right up to one of their twenty foot glass
windows and he puts the bumper on the window, then
inches forward and the whole window shows and he gives
them the keys. He goes, hey, fellas, the heater's on.
And that was really out of character of my dad,
(28:37):
but he was, you know, he paid a lot of
money for the car that heater was on.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
There you go there, that'll do it.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
But I tell you, Cadillac, over the last like ten
or fifteen years, the way they've put together these cars,
it almost seems like a high end import, you know, like.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
You know what it is.
Speaker 6 (28:53):
It's the great the best thing that had happened to
De troits going bankrupt.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Oh was that right?
Speaker 6 (28:57):
Because they got rid of all the ad eyes and
the guys that came from Whirlpool or may Tag to
sell cars, and they brought in engineer. Yeah right, yeah, exactly.
Now you have engineer. Now you have Cadillac entering F
one racing. This is the highest, most expensive, most scientific,
expensive kind of racing in the world. And Cadillac is
(29:18):
right in there with Ferrari and all these les. So
it's going to be exciting. I mean, American engineers are
now kind of the I envy the world. I think.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
So the fact that we can.
Speaker 6 (29:29):
Produce a car like a Corvette for eighty thousand dollars
in a union shop, it'sredible and everybody gets full benefits
and the Chinese paying two balls an hour can barely
match it.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yes, it is great.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
So the F one, the Cadillac sewing Is are gonna
have the vlure seats.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Now I won't have the vlor seats. No they Okay,
can you stay with us? Sorry? Jay Leno's with us?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Everybody Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now
you can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime
on demand on the iHeartRadio app
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.