July 4, 2025 • 28 mins
Happy 4th of July Weekend!!
Jay Leno joins Conway... Just wind them up and let them go!
Also, Mark Thompson's feelings about tipping...
And... THE DON PARDO COMPETITION.
Thompson.
Cro.
Two men enter.
One man leaves in glory.
Jay Leno joins Conway... Just wind them up and let them go!
Also, Mark Thompson's feelings about tipping...
And... THE DON PARDO COMPETITION.
Thompson.
Cro.
Two men enter.
One man leaves in glory.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on de Mayo from
kf I A M six forty.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Bob, Tim, I just enjoying your inspiring rags target story there.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, which target story?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, your life story. How you came up and used
to listen to the station. Then I was thinking of
a kid's day. But you know I used to eat
a McDonald's every day, and then one day I went
to high school, and then he graduated, and now I
worked there, and I've been on shakes now for fifteen years.
And to think I started eating here. You know, I
(00:41):
really heard a person do their own eulogy.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
That's so great. I'm glad you picked up on that.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I couldn't. I couldn't help. But think of my father.
You know that guy Luigi whatever his name is, shot
the guy right, the most Italian name you could possibly
get sure, And my when I was a kid, my
every time you had to my friend, I have a time.
They play Italians and Untouchable every time the bad guy,
and my dad would read that story. He's probably just
half a time. He's not even all Italian guy. I
(01:09):
mean that Italian did something wrong. They're not really Italian.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
They're just some other thing, you know, Right, Jay, I
got a great idea for you, and and I don't
I don't want you to say yes or no right now,
but an I have an opportunity for both of us.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
All Right, you have a great car collection, is that true?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Well, I have some cars.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I think you have hundreds of cars.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
All right, Okay, I think you.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Could add to it by buying and displaying the car
that I raised my family on, my two thousand and
seven Lincoln Navigator. You can add it to your collection. Well,
I'll make you a sweet deal. And then people can
come by the when they can buy the shop, they're like, oh,
that's Conway's old car.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah. I just I just couldn't handle the crowd. That's fine.
I don't have the room, you know. I just think
that would be a huge, huge problem. But yeah, yeah, no,
that sounds fad. I still got that car.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, I still got the car.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Well, that was not a cheap car. That was like,
when did you buy it? It was last year.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
It was sixty five thousand dollars when I bought it,
and I didn't know how I was going to pay
for it back in two thousand and seven.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh, okay, but he stated, but Jay, you was state
of the art.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
It was the first one that had navigation, It had
you know, electric everything.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And then all the other cars passed it. And now it's, uh,
you know, it's it's outdated. I have to buy a
new DVD to update the navigation.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, I actually it wasn't the first to have navigation.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
It was the first time in my in my group
of friends.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I think Columbus might argue with you.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Okay, all right, but Jay, look I had navigation. Nobody
had navigation back then. I had satellite radio built in.
Nobody had that back then.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
Nobody.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Well, that's a life of privilege.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Yes, that's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You're a baby, and that's right.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And I had that car for eighteen years. I'm going
to tell you what's wrong with it.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Though.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Every time I go out to start it, the back
of the car is sitting on the back tires. So
there must be something wrong with the rear suspension.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah? I think what you have what's called a flat tire.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Now, the tires are the car, No, the tires are
in great shape. The car sits on the tires. If
it's if it's uh, you know it sits long enough.
What's the problem do you think, Well.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Tires get flat spot. Maybe just don't have enough You
might not have enough air.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I'm telling you the tires are fine. The car comes
down and sits on the tires. Then I started up
and the car comes up off the tires.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Well it does have an air suspensions.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yes, yes, it does well a suspensions. Okay, all right,
So is that something you can work on for me
or not?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
You know, I can't do it right now because I'm
on the phone. I'm talking to the chirt on the phone.
I can't do it now. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd
love to. Yeah, that's it sounds like just the kind
of project I like it involved in that.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I saw you on with Bill Maher talking and they're
still beating you up over this this accident that you
had in Pittsburgh.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
You know, this is what I love about the press.
It's so stupid.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
It's dumb as hell.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know, I'm dyslexic, so I don't Campbell. I go
to Vegas and they go, sir, it's twenty one. You
have twenty eight, what you know. I don't know how
to gamble. I'm I just liked the idea that the
mob would drive to Greensburg, Pennsylvania, wait at the Hampton
in on a rainy day for me to show up
and throw me down the hill. I mean, hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Do you are you listening to some of these new
comics like this THEO vond you know.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Who he is.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I want to call it new comed you know, I
like anything I hate more than comics, trash and other comics.
This guy's no good thing, you know, God bless anybody
makes a living. It's a tough business. And if you
can make a living doing it without you know, being
racist and thing, you know whatever, I'm good for you.
It's okay. So I don't you know, I do like
everybody doing it all right? There. You have different sense
(05:03):
of humor, you know. I mean I watched the on
comics and they're doing jokes on Vemo and I'm Scott,
what that is? I never use those things? Okay, fine,
so it's just different, But but it doesn't mean it's
not funny.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I love THEO Vaughn and I think that that he's
like the new Norm MacDonald of comedy. I think that
you know that he's he's pretty simple. And people always
thought that Norm McDonald wasn't that bright. But I thought
he was the funniest of all.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Nor McDonald came this close to winning everything on Who
Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
He got all the ways. She knew everything. He was
a smart guy. He was well read. Wow, and he
was really conservative. People think he's like, you know, the
Hollywood liberals. He wasn't.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I remember when he went on Larry King and he
said to Larry, I'm deeply, deeply I'm a deeply, deeply
closeted homosexual. And Larry King said, oh, so you're a
almost sectual because no, Larry, Larry, I'm telling you, Larry, Larry,
what's wrong with you? I'm deeply, deeply closet was He
was funny?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
David, tell you a story he used to bring his
mother to see me.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
All right, hold on, say hold him and say Jay
Leno was about to tell us the greatest story in
the history of the world about Norm McDonald's mom going
to see Jay Leno in concert. So hang on, we'll
get to that story. All right, what's going on with
the nudes?
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Jay Leno?
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Is whether us. Jay, welcome back to the program.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Thank you, thank you for talking about Norm McDonald.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, so Nor McDonald used to his mom used to
go to your show.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, he used to bring his mom to see me
because I work clean so he can take his mother
and see the other comics. So it was funny. But
one day he takes his mom to Vegas. He takes
three thousand dollars out of the bank there checking in.
It's the hotel. He says his mom, I'm gonna go
over here to the table. I'll be right back. He
(06:59):
goes to the table, loses all his money. He can't
even pay for the hotel. Now he loses all the
money that he has. He had three thousand dollars to
treat his mom for the weekend, you know, And he
gets back, he goes any money. It's so stupid.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah, so stupid, and he had that's all the money
he had.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, I mean, great comic, genuine original. You know, there's
some people that are funny because they tell jokes. He
just says things funny a lot of times. It's not
necessarily a joke, it's just the way he says it.
And he uses unusual words and a Wiener dog. This
guy is a Wiener dogg And you're laughing at the
(07:46):
name Wiener dog, but he keeps repeating. You know, he's
just really brilliant. He was fascinating to listen to it,
kind of like almost like a Mark Twain. You know,
you just enjoy hearing him speak.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
When when he was on I think he was on
with Conan O'Brien and and you know, he had a
set that he was going to do, you know, four
to five minutes, and then Conan said, oh, Norm McDonald's
going to stay with us, and Norm McDonald flipped out.
He says during the commercial where he goes, I don't
have anything else. I don't know, you know, when we
come back for another five minutes, I've got nothing. And
(08:16):
Conan said, well, just make something up, and he turned
a thirty second joke into a five minute joke about
some kind of moth or something and was brilliant.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I think that's the one about the moth it goes. Yeah,
I remember that, Yeah, I remember that story. It was
about a moss goes to the dentist and the whole
thing that that that final dents goes. Why did you
pick me? And the Mosquays your light was on and
it's a great joke. It's a great joke.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah, and I I really miss him. He used to
come out with us all the time. Just one of
the nicest guys in the world, never affected by show business.
He was good friends. Uh ye had you know, he
had a lot of guys that were friends. Not necessarily comics,
but you know, friends that were just normal everyday guys.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, interesting people, you know. He he just he he
didn't have a very good meter for sexist or or whatever.
You know, Timmy, it was all just funny. So he
would all often get in trouble.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
So I turned my TV on the other day, and
you know, if you have, I don't know what I have.
I think it's a spectrum. But before spectrum comes on,
I have just some kind of well you.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Would not talk about ven aarrow disease. You're talking about
cable that's.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Right, yeah, yeah, and I and I have and I
and I turned the TV on and forever they were
running Conan reruns, and you know, so you watched a
little of that. Then you go on to cable whatever.
And now Letterman has his own station where it's all
his old reruns, which is great because that's when Letterman.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Was funny, right right, and some funny as yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
But but nowadays, you know, with the this guy needs
no introduction, there's no humor in those things.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
He's a very serious man nowadays, this straight interview. That
is true.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
But Jay, you never gave up comedy. He did.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
Well.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You know, Dave was never comfortable being a stand up comedian.
Day was a brilliant host and truly a funny comedian,
but he didn't like the road. I mean, one of
the funniest things was let him in on the road
opening for Tony Orlando. I mean, that's just the funniest
combination you can imagine. He was just so uncomfortable because
he was always wildly ironic in his humor and if
(10:34):
you need to get that or you don't, I mean,
he always made me laugh. I mean since the first
time I saw him. I went up to him and
I said, you know, I love the way you you're
your great wordsmith, like how you weave words together, and
he goes, how can you get up there and just
start talking about not being nervous? So we kind of
feed off each other, you know, he took from me
a certain amount of energy and I took from him. Boy,
(10:56):
that's a really clever way of speaking and talking, you know,
So we really when I would do his show, it's
still my favorite time of my career, just going on
and just let him and would deliberately try to sidetrack me,
and then I would I would come back, and it
was always it was always just my favorite time in
my career because it wasn't like it wasn't any competition.
(11:17):
It was just another comic and he was the guy
with the show, and it was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.
I really looked back fondly on those days.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
What about What was your relationship with Johnny Carson? Did
you hang with Johnny?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, no, you don't hang with you know, I grew
up in New England, where you know, like to me,
the strangest thing being in California. Oh Jay, these are
my parents, Bob and Agnes. Well, how are you miss missus? Mancheli?
I can't call you Bob and Agnes. I'm sorry. You're
my friend's parents. So I would go, thank you, mister Carson.
He goes ditch john You okay, Johnny? I mean I
just I always go.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I'm with you, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You know, it's just a different way of being brought up.
You just people are elders. And so with Johnny, I
could never. I couldn't say to Johnny, hey, Johnny, nice
y pal, you know you can't. You can't do that.
But with let them and I could, and that was
it was a fun part.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I'm the same way.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I have friends from you know, third grade, you know,
Matt McDaniel, Robbie Fox, Mike Tennessee. And when I when
I run into their parents, I still call them mister
Fox or miss McDaniel and missus Tennessee.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
And I can't stop that.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, well, mayo to my own history teacher came to
see me. Uh can I you know, I guess your drink,
Mister robshad call me Fred, call me Fred. I'm not giving.
I'm just giving a guy named Fred or whiskey. Okay,
you're gonna have a soft drink. Mister. You know you're
my history teacher. I'm sorry, I can't, you know. Yeah, No,
it's just it's very funny. It's fun.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
It's being brought up properly, is what that is.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
By calling somebody that's true, just being you know, when
I was a kid, I used to love the Danny
Thomas Show because Danny Towns was a performer and he
would be at home with his family and then at
night he would go out to the club to work
and come home again. I thought, we wouldn't it be
great if you could be a comedian. We're not going
out of town and you could just go to the club.
(13:02):
A ty out joke. So when Flapper's open, when the
Comedy Magic Club opening from Rosa Beach, I would say
to my how I'm going to see my agent, Sid Helper,
and I'm going to get out to the club. You know,
Shid Helper with Dandy Thomas's agent on the show.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It always used to make me laugh. I thought, oh god,
I'm living the life I wanted to live whenize a
little kid.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Yeah, that's awesome, buddy, break a leg tonight.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
They still say thanks, thanks, good luck and keep you know,
write a book about that inspiring story about I.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Will all right, thanks Jaylen, all right, what's going on
with the news.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from kf
I Am six forty.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Are Mark Thompson, very generous man when he goes on vacation.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
You said you're like a Rockefeller.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Let me just this. I'm not.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
I'm just I just tip an appropriate amount. I'm not
something like over tipper it. But use the term Rockefeller. Well,
when I go into a hotel and I'm a new guest,
I'm tipping like a Rockefeller, because.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
What is Rockefeller? I mean, well, how much a night.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
It's not that it's before that even happens. And they
take the bags out of the cab, I give that
guy ten bucks, and then the guy takes the bag
from the cab to the front desk, give that guy
ten bucks. And the guy from the from the desk
up to the to the room. He'll get between ten
and twenty, depending on how many bags we have, So
I try to take care. Then I tip the front
desk person who's going to be the room. So my
(14:22):
point is when I come in, I come in hot okay,
but I'm not, you know, for a normal dinner or something.
I'm not like some incredible tipper at all, but I
but when I'm at a hotel, I've just come back
from a hotel.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
So that's where this comes from.
Speaker 6 (14:35):
I always take care of the maid service people always,
so between five and twenty every day, but most of
the time it's twenty bucks a day, no between. Usually
it's between five and fifteen. So the reason it's that
is because if I've asked for something, Hey can I
get some extra mouth washed there or something like that,
and then I'll leave them more, you know what I mean.
So anyway, point is this, we've been there for three days,
(14:57):
all right.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
This is so she could stand a bank fifty teen
bucks over the three days.
Speaker 6 (15:01):
Right, five bucks or more. In this case, I did
leave her. We left her. I think she I'm going
to say she was maybe twice that thirty bucks, which's
probably not okay, so not a big deal.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
We should get a condo in Maui.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
But I'm what I'm saying is that we're compulsed. I'm
compulsive about it, like I really because I think that they.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Get stiffed a lot. Should buy a boat.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
So last day we said what time we're leaving. My
courty said we'll be out of here by eleven forty five.
I said, okay, And so I'm going down to get
a coffee and I see the lady who cleans the
room and she's right there and she's got that cart,
you know, with all that stuff. And I said, hello,
good morning, Thank you so much. I said, we're going
(15:40):
to be leaving at eleven forty five and want you
to know you'll be able to get into the room.
Then she said, oh, thank you. I said, you've been
taking care of the room every day, you've been cleaning it.
She said yes, I said every day you've been cleaning it.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
She said, all these conditions on this show.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
So I gave her a five in addition to the
money we're going to leave her at the end. I
gave her a five kind of in person. She said, oh,
thank you very very much. That's my point. It's not
it's not like a lot of money, but the point
is I let to let it fly. I walk about
fifteen feet and there's another lady there with a cleaning cart.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Another five and she asks me when will you be
leaving the room?
Speaker 6 (16:15):
Ah, tag team, And I said, well, be leaving at
eleven forty five. I said, have you been taking care
of the room every day? She said yes, I'm taking
care of it every day. I said no, but are
you the person who's actually taking care of it because
she spoke English better than the first lady.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Right, But I want to say, before you we continue,
do you think the Rockefeller's ever had this conversation?
Speaker 6 (16:36):
Okay, you know what, I shouldn't have mentioned the Rockefellers.
You're going to let the Rockefelders go. Okay, you know,
really you can kill a story like nobody else.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
What is your problem?
Speaker 6 (16:45):
So then I why can't you do what I do
for you, which is just sit there and laugh?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Did you make her crawl on her hands.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
And get in the end of the store. You got
to kill my store. It's not that great to.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Begin with, all right, So you got the two ladies
for the five.
Speaker 6 (17:01):
So then she says, I said, oh, I thought that
lady was the lady who cleaned the room. She said, no, no, no, no,
I've been cleaning the room every day.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
He said.
Speaker 6 (17:08):
Now I'm thinking, oh, I just blew away five bucks
on that last lady, and now I'm in a blow
and so I reach in, I get a five, and
I give her the five dollars. I said, thank you
very mu much. I said, think we left a little
bit more behind for you. And then I am at
the elevators about to about to turn the corner with
the other and there's a third ome. No, I swear it,
(17:29):
Oh my god, incredible. She's got a cart just like
the other two ladies. And I said, we're at the
We're at the corner. She said hello, She initiated, she
said good morning. I said hello. I said, we're going
to be We're at the end of the hole. She says, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Have cleaned your room.
Speaker 6 (17:44):
There to each other, and I just reached in my pocket.
I give her another five, and that's it. It was
the longest. Yeah, it was the most expensive hallway that
I had run into. But that was so one of
those people is not telling the truth, right, at least
one of them.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
Two of them, maybe, yeah, maybe two of them. Do you.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I like it when they leave an envelope with their
name on it. I think that's that's a cool thing, right,
And then you can just slip it in there, yeah, right,
because otherwise you don't know if they're going to come in,
and they don't know if you're coming back, and you
just left a twenty there and they don't know whether
to take it or not, right, or sometimes they'll have
a pen and a piece of paper you can write
thank you?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Do you write them a note?
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Yes? I do. I read a little little smiley face.
How you do? Yeah? Yeah, I really like to bond
with the people to clean the room.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I write, I thank you, the room looks beautiful Rockefeller JD.
I give them the old JD. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
But I those people they're good.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
But the banging on the door when you're sleeping at
eleven thirty and you're supposed to check out at ten thirty.
Speaker 6 (18:59):
That sometimes, well, when you get the knock on the
door and you open it, it's not them.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
It's like they're superbuchest. Somebody else who's dressed in.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
Like the business student goes, excuse me, I just wanted
to know what time you be leaving?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah, And I purposely frows my hair up and I
answer nude.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I get it, can help you, we'll be a we'll
come back, we'll come back. Thanks.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
That sends them off.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
But that's that's great though, that these uh you know,
these are they all retired.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
They've all got it. They've all got a plan, a
retirement plan.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
That's great. Buddy.
Speaker 6 (19:33):
What hotel was it nice? The Palace Hotel, which I
really like and is very old school. That's why I
like to everybody get on and then here's something else.
When you tip early, they particuted the doorman and everybody.
They all know your name when you come down to
the lobby, mister Thompson, good morning. But you know it's
like there's just a different vibe. It feels like home.
Speaker 5 (19:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
I heard from you remember John from the John and
Jeff Show.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
Oh yeah, I think so, The John John.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
A Jeff Show. You spa on kalos X. I learned
this from him. He said, when you go to a
crowded bar, like it's five deep around the whole bar.
It's a club or a restaurant, whatever it is, and
you're watching sports, or you know, it's a club at
a disco tech and you're dancing. But when you get
your first beer or your first drink, you pay, you know,
twelve dollars for the drink, and you give him an
(20:20):
additional twenty right there, and you say, hey, here's the
twelve dollars of the drink, and here's a twenty for you.
And he looks at you and he remembers that phase.
And now every time he scans the bar and he
sees your face he comes right up to you.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
That's exact, same concer, early tip, exact same concept, early tip, right.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Yeah, tip him early, but don't tip him long or
whatever they're saying is tip em early.
Speaker 6 (20:44):
But not like I don't know, but I know what
tip stands for to ensure prompt service.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
Oh there'd be tips? Yeah, okay, yeah, that I'd always
heard that or that. That's when he gave.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Away to all those women tips. Yeah, tips to ensure prompts.
Speaker 6 (20:59):
And well the case the John and Jeff guy, it worked.
In the case of my you know, at the beginning
of my stay, it worked as well.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Yeah, all right, anywhere, very very good, little run through
gratuity land.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
There you go, buddy, you are a big tipper. All right,
what's going on with the news? All right, so this
is the Don Pardo competition. Stoosh, have you found the
music without lyrics?
Speaker 7 (21:22):
Yes? Sir?
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Wow, you want to give us a little music?
Speaker 4 (21:25):
All right? All's you know what's the music gonna sound like?
Let's have it in their cans?
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Yeah man, all right, yeah, you want to do that music?
Pot that's right, it comes on hot, buddy, come on,
you got to bring it on the hot good.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
All right, Okay, Now we're gonna flip a coin.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Very exciting, see you, very exciting.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah, you give a coin on you.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
I don't think I do.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Nobody has coins on them anymore.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Right now, I'm gonna write on a piece of paper
one to ten, and the closest to it gets to pick,
all right, one to ten?
Speaker 5 (21:59):
Who goes for? Oh? You're asking me?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Well, no, I'm writing a number one to ten. Whoever
gets closest to the number gets to pick whether they
go first or second. All right, all right, to get
to pick who gets the number first, I'm gonna write
another number. All right, So this is the number to
get to the number.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
To be able to to be able to get for
the next an all.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Right, mark number one? Team one and ten?
Speaker 5 (22:25):
All right? Four?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Four?
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Krozer what five?
Speaker 5 (22:29):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
It was three?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
So Mark goes first and picking one one to ten? Okay, okay,
all right, now mark one to ten? And what number
am I writing down?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Six?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Six? Is wrong? Crozier?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Three?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Oh it's seven? Mark, got it.
Speaker 6 (22:47):
It's gonna be let CROs do go first? No, no, no, no, no,
I get the choice.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I get the choice.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
The rule was you get a choice, you didn't hear
that part. We can roll it back all right. Here
it is good Luck Crouch.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Alright, music starts here, I Don Croser.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
It Saturday Night Love.
Speaker 8 (23:25):
With Dana Carvey, still Harder, Nor McDonald, Lorraine Newman, Eddie Murphy, Maya.
Speaker 9 (23:40):
Rudolph with musical guest Hue and your host Steve Martin,
Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
That was really good, dude, that really was you really
stuck the landing.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
That was so cool man, dude, that.
Speaker 7 (24:08):
Was really good.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Hey, I learned from the best.
Speaker 6 (24:10):
All right, Wow, that's Crozier. I don't have any water anything.
This is tough and he was good.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Doing his Don pardell Man And now it's Mark Pardo.
All right, you ready be ready?
Speaker 5 (24:23):
All right?
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Red leather, yellow leather, red leather.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Bringing that music on the hot, trying to bury my
bury me under the music.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
It'll be better that way.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Music starts and here it is Mark Thompson is Don Pardo.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
It's Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 6 (24:48):
With Tanner Coffe, Hotman.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
McDonald, all Newman and he.
Speaker 7 (25:02):
My Rudolph with musical games queen and the host Steve Martin,
Old ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
All right, Mark, I really love What I loved about
it was your professionals and shows because you had the
just the slight little nuances that Don used.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
He's got that little when he does live, he'll gove.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
You know, like that that little thing. Yeah, very good.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
All right, now we all get to vote, right, all right,
let's start with Steph Roni who knocked it out? Krozier
or Mark Thompson. I liked Krozier.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Crozier, Yeah, those were sweet. I think you stuck the landing.
I liked it too.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Somebody who knows there's only a guy who's here one
night a week, and a guy here is five nights,
five nights a week.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
It could be a long week.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
All right, Bellio Crozier or Mark Thompson.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
I'm going with Mark.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Mark.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Angel Martinez.
Speaker 7 (26:19):
I'm going with Crawl.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Crosier all right, and I'm going with Mark Thompson. So
it's so it's it's a dead heat.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
It's a dead heat, as it should be.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
So the audience has to decide, Oh my god, all right, yeah,
let's put up on Twitter. All right, but it's up
on Twitter, okay, we put the audio up as well,
or or just as soon as I get it, we will, right,
so the audience will decide. We'll know by ten o'clock
who is the better. Don Pardo, Well, and I thought
they were.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
Both real, but it's neither better. There was a cool
individual take each of us had.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
On the on the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I thought it was great and krozer for you not
to have ever done that before tonight exactly. That's wild. Dude, man,
that is crazy. You've got an ear for that. You
got to quit radio, make some money. I mean you
can do impressions, dude, Yeah, you got the other What
is the other one you do? Felix the cat, Felix
the Cat, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
Somebody else.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
I don't even know what Philix the Cat sounds like.
He goes, we last at the no, no, but no you do.
Who's the Martin and Lewis. Jerry Lewis right, right, Jerry
Lewis right.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
That's a hot one.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, go out there, Don Pardo and Jerry Lewis factory.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
Have Don Pardo introduced Jerry Lewis, you come on, do
that thing that impressions do.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
They turn around and they know you're Jerry Lewis right.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
You had a cigarette now Jerry Lewd play maybe older
demos on that though.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Thought, Yeah, I think it's a cruise.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I think you're a you know, Alaska cruise after summer
when the old people come out.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Yeah, that's great though. Congratulations of both you. You both sounded
hotter in hell. I know it is a fierce competition,
but you both showed up.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
The went fifteen rounds.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, you know, a good offense takes care of a
good defense.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
I thought it was.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
I thought you just let him play on the field.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
And the you know, players will take care of themselves, right, Yeah,
it was hot man.
Speaker 9 (28:27):
Look, the idea of doing anything like that with with
Mark Thompson is an achievement in my head as far
as I'm concerned.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Yeah, that's a street all right. What's going on with
the news?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Conway Show on demand on the iHeart Radio app. Now
you can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime
on demand on the iHeart Radio app.
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on de Mayo from
kf I A M six forty.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Bob, Tim, I just enjoying your inspiring rags target story there.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, which target story?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, your life story. How you came up and used
to listen to the station. Then I was thinking of
a kid's day. But you know I used to eat
a McDonald's every day, and then one day I went
to high school, and then he graduated, and now I
worked there, and I've been on shakes now for fifteen years.
And to think I started eating here. You know, I
(00:41):
really heard a person do their own eulogy.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
That's so great. I'm glad you picked up on that.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I couldn't. I couldn't help. But think of my father.
You know that guy Luigi whatever his name is, shot
the guy right, the most Italian name you could possibly
get sure, And my when I was a kid, my
every time you had to my friend, I have a time.
They play Italians and Untouchable every time the bad guy,
and my dad would read that story. He's probably just
half a time. He's not even all Italian guy. I
(01:09):
mean that Italian did something wrong. They're not really Italian.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
They're just some other thing, you know, Right, Jay, I
got a great idea for you, and and I don't
I don't want you to say yes or no right now,
but an I have an opportunity for both of us.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
All Right, you have a great car collection, is that true?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Well, I have some cars.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I think you have hundreds of cars.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
All right, Okay, I think you.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Could add to it by buying and displaying the car
that I raised my family on, my two thousand and
seven Lincoln Navigator. You can add it to your collection. Well,
I'll make you a sweet deal. And then people can
come by the when they can buy the shop, they're like, oh,
that's Conway's old car.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah. I just I just couldn't handle the crowd. That's fine.
I don't have the room, you know. I just think
that would be a huge, huge problem. But yeah, yeah, no,
that sounds fad. I still got that car.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, I still got the car.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Well, that was not a cheap car. That was like,
when did you buy it? It was last year.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
It was sixty five thousand dollars when I bought it,
and I didn't know how I was going to pay
for it back in two thousand and seven.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh, okay, but he stated, but Jay, you was state
of the art.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
It was the first one that had navigation, It had
you know, electric everything.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And then all the other cars passed it. And now it's, uh,
you know, it's it's outdated. I have to buy a
new DVD to update the navigation.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, I actually it wasn't the first to have navigation.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
It was the first time in my in my group
of friends.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I think Columbus might argue with you.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Okay, all right, but Jay, look I had navigation. Nobody
had navigation back then. I had satellite radio built in.
Nobody had that back then.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
Nobody.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Well, that's a life of privilege.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Yes, that's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You're a baby, and that's right.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And I had that car for eighteen years. I'm going
to tell you what's wrong with it.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Though.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Every time I go out to start it, the back
of the car is sitting on the back tires. So
there must be something wrong with the rear suspension.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah? I think what you have what's called a flat tire.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Now, the tires are the car, No, the tires are
in great shape. The car sits on the tires. If
it's if it's uh, you know it sits long enough.
What's the problem do you think, Well.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Tires get flat spot. Maybe just don't have enough You
might not have enough air.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I'm telling you the tires are fine. The car comes
down and sits on the tires. Then I started up
and the car comes up off the tires.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Well it does have an air suspensions.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yes, yes, it does well a suspensions. Okay, all right,
So is that something you can work on for me
or not?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
You know, I can't do it right now because I'm
on the phone. I'm talking to the chirt on the phone.
I can't do it now. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd
love to. Yeah, that's it sounds like just the kind
of project I like it involved in that.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I saw you on with Bill Maher talking and they're
still beating you up over this this accident that you
had in Pittsburgh.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
You know, this is what I love about the press.
It's so stupid.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
It's dumb as hell.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know, I'm dyslexic, so I don't Campbell. I go
to Vegas and they go, sir, it's twenty one. You
have twenty eight, what you know. I don't know how
to gamble. I'm I just liked the idea that the
mob would drive to Greensburg, Pennsylvania, wait at the Hampton
in on a rainy day for me to show up
and throw me down the hill. I mean, hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Do you are you listening to some of these new
comics like this THEO vond you know.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Who he is.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I want to call it new comed you know, I
like anything I hate more than comics, trash and other comics.
This guy's no good thing, you know, God bless anybody
makes a living. It's a tough business. And if you
can make a living doing it without you know, being
racist and thing, you know whatever, I'm good for you.
It's okay. So I don't you know, I do like
everybody doing it all right? There. You have different sense
(05:03):
of humor, you know. I mean I watched the on
comics and they're doing jokes on Vemo and I'm Scott,
what that is? I never use those things? Okay, fine,
so it's just different, But but it doesn't mean it's
not funny.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I love THEO Vaughn and I think that that he's
like the new Norm MacDonald of comedy. I think that
you know that he's he's pretty simple. And people always
thought that Norm McDonald wasn't that bright. But I thought
he was the funniest of all.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Nor McDonald came this close to winning everything on Who
Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
He got all the ways. She knew everything. He was
a smart guy. He was well read. Wow, and he
was really conservative. People think he's like, you know, the
Hollywood liberals. He wasn't.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I remember when he went on Larry King and he
said to Larry, I'm deeply, deeply I'm a deeply, deeply
closeted homosexual. And Larry King said, oh, so you're a
almost sectual because no, Larry, Larry, I'm telling you, Larry, Larry,
what's wrong with you? I'm deeply, deeply closet was He
was funny?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
David, tell you a story he used to bring his
mother to see me.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
All right, hold on, say hold him and say Jay
Leno was about to tell us the greatest story in
the history of the world about Norm McDonald's mom going
to see Jay Leno in concert. So hang on, we'll
get to that story. All right, what's going on with
the nudes?
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Jay Leno?
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Is whether us. Jay, welcome back to the program.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Thank you, thank you for talking about Norm McDonald.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, so Nor McDonald used to his mom used to
go to your show.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, he used to bring his mom to see me
because I work clean so he can take his mother
and see the other comics. So it was funny. But
one day he takes his mom to Vegas. He takes
three thousand dollars out of the bank there checking in.
It's the hotel. He says his mom, I'm gonna go
over here to the table. I'll be right back. He
(06:59):
goes to the table, loses all his money. He can't
even pay for the hotel. Now he loses all the
money that he has. He had three thousand dollars to
treat his mom for the weekend, you know, And he
gets back, he goes any money. It's so stupid.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah, so stupid, and he had that's all the money
he had.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, I mean, great comic, genuine original. You know, there's
some people that are funny because they tell jokes. He
just says things funny a lot of times. It's not
necessarily a joke, it's just the way he says it.
And he uses unusual words and a Wiener dog. This
guy is a Wiener dogg And you're laughing at the
(07:46):
name Wiener dog, but he keeps repeating. You know, he's
just really brilliant. He was fascinating to listen to it,
kind of like almost like a Mark Twain. You know,
you just enjoy hearing him speak.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
When when he was on I think he was on
with Conan O'Brien and and you know, he had a
set that he was going to do, you know, four
to five minutes, and then Conan said, oh, Norm McDonald's
going to stay with us, and Norm McDonald flipped out.
He says during the commercial where he goes, I don't
have anything else. I don't know, you know, when we
come back for another five minutes, I've got nothing. And
(08:16):
Conan said, well, just make something up, and he turned
a thirty second joke into a five minute joke about
some kind of moth or something and was brilliant.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I think that's the one about the moth it goes. Yeah,
I remember that, Yeah, I remember that story. It was
about a moss goes to the dentist and the whole
thing that that that final dents goes. Why did you
pick me? And the Mosquays your light was on and
it's a great joke. It's a great joke.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah, and I I really miss him. He used to
come out with us all the time. Just one of
the nicest guys in the world, never affected by show business.
He was good friends. Uh ye had you know, he
had a lot of guys that were friends. Not necessarily comics,
but you know, friends that were just normal everyday guys.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, interesting people, you know. He he just he he
didn't have a very good meter for sexist or or whatever.
You know, Timmy, it was all just funny. So he
would all often get in trouble.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
So I turned my TV on the other day, and
you know, if you have, I don't know what I have.
I think it's a spectrum. But before spectrum comes on,
I have just some kind of well you.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Would not talk about ven aarrow disease. You're talking about
cable that's.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Right, yeah, yeah, and I and I have and I
and I turned the TV on and forever they were
running Conan reruns, and you know, so you watched a
little of that. Then you go on to cable whatever.
And now Letterman has his own station where it's all
his old reruns, which is great because that's when Letterman.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Was funny, right right, and some funny as yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
But but nowadays, you know, with the this guy needs
no introduction, there's no humor in those things.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
He's a very serious man nowadays, this straight interview. That
is true.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
But Jay, you never gave up comedy. He did.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
Well.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You know, Dave was never comfortable being a stand up comedian.
Day was a brilliant host and truly a funny comedian,
but he didn't like the road. I mean, one of
the funniest things was let him in on the road
opening for Tony Orlando. I mean, that's just the funniest
combination you can imagine. He was just so uncomfortable because
he was always wildly ironic in his humor and if
(10:34):
you need to get that or you don't, I mean,
he always made me laugh. I mean since the first
time I saw him. I went up to him and
I said, you know, I love the way you you're
your great wordsmith, like how you weave words together, and
he goes, how can you get up there and just
start talking about not being nervous? So we kind of
feed off each other, you know, he took from me
a certain amount of energy and I took from him. Boy,
(10:56):
that's a really clever way of speaking and talking, you know,
So we really when I would do his show, it's
still my favorite time of my career, just going on
and just let him and would deliberately try to sidetrack me,
and then I would I would come back, and it
was always it was always just my favorite time in
my career because it wasn't like it wasn't any competition.
(11:17):
It was just another comic and he was the guy
with the show, and it was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.
I really looked back fondly on those days.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
What about What was your relationship with Johnny Carson? Did
you hang with Johnny?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, no, you don't hang with you know, I grew
up in New England, where you know, like to me,
the strangest thing being in California. Oh Jay, these are
my parents, Bob and Agnes. Well, how are you miss missus? Mancheli?
I can't call you Bob and Agnes. I'm sorry. You're
my friend's parents. So I would go, thank you, mister Carson.
He goes ditch john You okay, Johnny? I mean I
just I always go.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I'm with you, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You know, it's just a different way of being brought up.
You just people are elders. And so with Johnny, I
could never. I couldn't say to Johnny, hey, Johnny, nice
y pal, you know you can't. You can't do that.
But with let them and I could, and that was
it was a fun part.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I'm the same way.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I have friends from you know, third grade, you know,
Matt McDaniel, Robbie Fox, Mike Tennessee. And when I when
I run into their parents, I still call them mister
Fox or miss McDaniel and missus Tennessee.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
And I can't stop that.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, well, mayo to my own history teacher came to
see me. Uh can I you know, I guess your drink,
Mister robshad call me Fred, call me Fred. I'm not giving.
I'm just giving a guy named Fred or whiskey. Okay,
you're gonna have a soft drink. Mister. You know you're
my history teacher. I'm sorry, I can't, you know. Yeah, No,
it's just it's very funny. It's fun.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
It's being brought up properly, is what that is.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
By calling somebody that's true, just being you know, when
I was a kid, I used to love the Danny
Thomas Show because Danny Towns was a performer and he
would be at home with his family and then at
night he would go out to the club to work
and come home again. I thought, we wouldn't it be
great if you could be a comedian. We're not going
out of town and you could just go to the club.
(13:02):
A ty out joke. So when Flapper's open, when the
Comedy Magic Club opening from Rosa Beach, I would say
to my how I'm going to see my agent, Sid Helper,
and I'm going to get out to the club. You know,
Shid Helper with Dandy Thomas's agent on the show.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
That's great.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It always used to make me laugh. I thought, oh god,
I'm living the life I wanted to live whenize a
little kid.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Yeah, that's awesome, buddy, break a leg tonight.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
They still say thanks, thanks, good luck and keep you know,
write a book about that inspiring story about I.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Will all right, thanks Jaylen, all right, what's going on
with the news.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from kf
I Am six forty.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Are Mark Thompson, very generous man when he goes on vacation.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
You said you're like a Rockefeller.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Let me just this. I'm not.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
I'm just I just tip an appropriate amount. I'm not
something like over tipper it. But use the term Rockefeller. Well,
when I go into a hotel and I'm a new guest,
I'm tipping like a Rockefeller, because.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
What is Rockefeller? I mean, well, how much a night.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
It's not that it's before that even happens. And they
take the bags out of the cab, I give that
guy ten bucks, and then the guy takes the bag
from the cab to the front desk, give that guy
ten bucks. And the guy from the from the desk
up to the to the room. He'll get between ten
and twenty, depending on how many bags we have, So
I try to take care. Then I tip the front
desk person who's going to be the room. So my
(14:22):
point is when I come in, I come in hot okay,
but I'm not, you know, for a normal dinner or something.
I'm not like some incredible tipper at all, but I
but when I'm at a hotel, I've just come back
from a hotel.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
So that's where this comes from.
Speaker 6 (14:35):
I always take care of the maid service people always,
so between five and twenty every day, but most of
the time it's twenty bucks a day, no between. Usually
it's between five and fifteen. So the reason it's that
is because if I've asked for something, Hey can I
get some extra mouth washed there or something like that,
and then I'll leave them more, you know what I mean.
So anyway, point is this, we've been there for three days,
(14:57):
all right.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
This is so she could stand a bank fifty teen
bucks over the three days.
Speaker 6 (15:01):
Right, five bucks or more. In this case, I did
leave her. We left her. I think she I'm going
to say she was maybe twice that thirty bucks, which's
probably not okay, so not a big deal.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
We should get a condo in Maui.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
But I'm what I'm saying is that we're compulsed. I'm
compulsive about it, like I really because I think that they.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Get stiffed a lot. Should buy a boat.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
So last day we said what time we're leaving. My
courty said we'll be out of here by eleven forty five.
I said, okay, And so I'm going down to get
a coffee and I see the lady who cleans the
room and she's right there and she's got that cart,
you know, with all that stuff. And I said, hello,
good morning, Thank you so much. I said, we're going
(15:40):
to be leaving at eleven forty five and want you
to know you'll be able to get into the room.
Then she said, oh, thank you. I said, you've been
taking care of the room every day, you've been cleaning it.
She said yes, I said every day you've been cleaning it.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
She said, all these conditions on this show.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
So I gave her a five in addition to the
money we're going to leave her at the end. I
gave her a five kind of in person. She said, oh,
thank you very very much. That's my point. It's not
it's not like a lot of money, but the point
is I let to let it fly. I walk about
fifteen feet and there's another lady there with a cleaning cart.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Another five and she asks me when will you be
leaving the room?
Speaker 6 (16:15):
Ah, tag team, And I said, well, be leaving at
eleven forty five. I said, have you been taking care
of the room every day? She said yes, I'm taking
care of it every day. I said no, but are
you the person who's actually taking care of it because
she spoke English better than the first lady.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Right, But I want to say, before you we continue,
do you think the Rockefeller's ever had this conversation?
Speaker 6 (16:36):
Okay, you know what, I shouldn't have mentioned the Rockefellers.
You're going to let the Rockefelders go. Okay, you know,
really you can kill a story like nobody else.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
What is your problem?
Speaker 6 (16:45):
So then I why can't you do what I do
for you, which is just sit there and laugh?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Did you make her crawl on her hands.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
And get in the end of the store. You got
to kill my store. It's not that great to.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Begin with, all right, So you got the two ladies
for the five.
Speaker 6 (17:01):
So then she says, I said, oh, I thought that
lady was the lady who cleaned the room. She said, no, no, no, no,
I've been cleaning the room every day.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
He said.
Speaker 6 (17:08):
Now I'm thinking, oh, I just blew away five bucks
on that last lady, and now I'm in a blow
and so I reach in, I get a five, and
I give her the five dollars. I said, thank you
very mu much. I said, think we left a little
bit more behind for you. And then I am at
the elevators about to about to turn the corner with
the other and there's a third ome. No, I swear it,
(17:29):
Oh my god, incredible. She's got a cart just like
the other two ladies. And I said, we're at the
We're at the corner. She said hello, She initiated, she
said good morning. I said hello. I said, we're going
to be We're at the end of the hole. She says, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Have cleaned your room.
Speaker 6 (17:44):
There to each other, and I just reached in my pocket.
I give her another five, and that's it. It was
the longest. Yeah, it was the most expensive hallway that
I had run into. But that was so one of
those people is not telling the truth, right, at least
one of them.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
Two of them, maybe, yeah, maybe two of them. Do you.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I like it when they leave an envelope with their
name on it. I think that's that's a cool thing, right,
And then you can just slip it in there, yeah, right,
because otherwise you don't know if they're going to come in,
and they don't know if you're coming back, and you
just left a twenty there and they don't know whether
to take it or not, right, or sometimes they'll have
a pen and a piece of paper you can write
thank you?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Do you write them a note?
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Yes? I do. I read a little little smiley face.
How you do? Yeah? Yeah, I really like to bond
with the people to clean the room.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I write, I thank you, the room looks beautiful Rockefeller JD.
I give them the old JD. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
But I those people they're good.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
But the banging on the door when you're sleeping at
eleven thirty and you're supposed to check out at ten thirty.
Speaker 6 (18:59):
That sometimes, well, when you get the knock on the
door and you open it, it's not them.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
It's like they're superbuchest. Somebody else who's dressed in.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
Like the business student goes, excuse me, I just wanted
to know what time you be leaving?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah, And I purposely frows my hair up and I
answer nude.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I get it, can help you, we'll be a we'll
come back, we'll come back. Thanks.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
That sends them off.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
But that's that's great though, that these uh you know,
these are they all retired.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
They've all got it. They've all got a plan, a
retirement plan.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
That's great. Buddy.
Speaker 6 (19:33):
What hotel was it nice? The Palace Hotel, which I
really like and is very old school. That's why I
like to everybody get on and then here's something else.
When you tip early, they particuted the doorman and everybody.
They all know your name when you come down to
the lobby, mister Thompson, good morning. But you know it's
like there's just a different vibe. It feels like home.
Speaker 5 (19:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
I heard from you remember John from the John and
Jeff Show.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
Oh yeah, I think so, The John John.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
A Jeff Show. You spa on kalos X. I learned
this from him. He said, when you go to a
crowded bar, like it's five deep around the whole bar.
It's a club or a restaurant, whatever it is, and
you're watching sports, or you know, it's a club at
a disco tech and you're dancing. But when you get
your first beer or your first drink, you pay, you know,
twelve dollars for the drink, and you give him an
(20:20):
additional twenty right there, and you say, hey, here's the
twelve dollars of the drink, and here's a twenty for you.
And he looks at you and he remembers that phase.
And now every time he scans the bar and he
sees your face he comes right up to you.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
That's exact, same concer, early tip, exact same concept, early tip, right.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Yeah, tip him early, but don't tip him long or
whatever they're saying is tip em early.
Speaker 6 (20:44):
But not like I don't know, but I know what
tip stands for to ensure prompt service.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
Oh there'd be tips? Yeah, okay, yeah, that I'd always
heard that or that. That's when he gave.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Away to all those women tips. Yeah, tips to ensure prompts.
Speaker 6 (20:59):
And well the case the John and Jeff guy, it worked.
In the case of my you know, at the beginning
of my stay, it worked as well.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Yeah, all right, anywhere, very very good, little run through
gratuity land.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
There you go, buddy, you are a big tipper. All right,
what's going on with the news? All right, so this
is the Don Pardo competition. Stoosh, have you found the
music without lyrics?
Speaker 7 (21:22):
Yes? Sir?
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Wow, you want to give us a little music?
Speaker 4 (21:25):
All right? All's you know what's the music gonna sound like?
Let's have it in their cans?
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Yeah man, all right, yeah, you want to do that music?
Pot that's right, it comes on hot, buddy, come on,
you got to bring it on the hot good.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
All right, Okay, Now we're gonna flip a coin.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Very exciting, see you, very exciting.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah, you give a coin on you.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
I don't think I do.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Nobody has coins on them anymore.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Right now, I'm gonna write on a piece of paper
one to ten, and the closest to it gets to pick,
all right, one to ten?
Speaker 5 (21:59):
Who goes for? Oh? You're asking me?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Well, no, I'm writing a number one to ten. Whoever
gets closest to the number gets to pick whether they
go first or second. All right, all right, to get
to pick who gets the number first, I'm gonna write
another number. All right, So this is the number to
get to the number.
Speaker 5 (22:20):
To be able to to be able to get for
the next an all.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Right, mark number one? Team one and ten?
Speaker 5 (22:25):
All right? Four?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Four?
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Krozer what five?
Speaker 5 (22:29):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
It was three?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
So Mark goes first and picking one one to ten? Okay, okay,
all right, now mark one to ten? And what number
am I writing down?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Six?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Six? Is wrong? Crozier?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Three?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Oh it's seven? Mark, got it.
Speaker 6 (22:47):
It's gonna be let CROs do go first? No, no, no, no, no,
I get the choice.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I get the choice.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
The rule was you get a choice, you didn't hear
that part. We can roll it back all right. Here
it is good Luck Crouch.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Alright, music starts here, I Don Croser.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
It Saturday Night Love.
Speaker 8 (23:25):
With Dana Carvey, still Harder, Nor McDonald, Lorraine Newman, Eddie Murphy, Maya.
Speaker 9 (23:40):
Rudolph with musical guest Hue and your host Steve Martin,
Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
That was really good, dude, that really was you really
stuck the landing.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
That was so cool man, dude, that.
Speaker 7 (24:08):
Was really good.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Hey, I learned from the best.
Speaker 6 (24:10):
All right, Wow, that's Crozier. I don't have any water anything.
This is tough and he was good.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Doing his Don pardell Man And now it's Mark Pardo.
All right, you ready be ready?
Speaker 5 (24:23):
All right?
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Red leather, yellow leather, red leather.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Bringing that music on the hot, trying to bury my
bury me under the music.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
It'll be better that way.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Music starts and here it is Mark Thompson is Don Pardo.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
It's Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 6 (24:48):
With Tanner Coffe, Hotman.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
McDonald, all Newman and he.
Speaker 7 (25:02):
My Rudolph with musical games queen and the host Steve Martin,
Old ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
All right, Mark, I really love What I loved about
it was your professionals and shows because you had the
just the slight little nuances that Don used.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
He's got that little when he does live, he'll gove.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
You know, like that that little thing. Yeah, very good.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
All right, now we all get to vote, right, all right,
let's start with Steph Roni who knocked it out? Krozier
or Mark Thompson. I liked Krozier.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Crozier, Yeah, those were sweet. I think you stuck the landing.
I liked it too.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Somebody who knows there's only a guy who's here one
night a week, and a guy here is five nights,
five nights a week.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
It could be a long week.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
All right, Bellio Crozier or Mark Thompson.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
I'm going with Mark.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Mark.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Angel Martinez.
Speaker 7 (26:19):
I'm going with Crawl.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Crosier all right, and I'm going with Mark Thompson. So
it's so it's it's a dead heat.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
It's a dead heat, as it should be.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
So the audience has to decide, Oh my god, all right, yeah,
let's put up on Twitter. All right, but it's up
on Twitter, okay, we put the audio up as well,
or or just as soon as I get it, we will, right,
so the audience will decide. We'll know by ten o'clock
who is the better. Don Pardo, Well, and I thought
they were.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
Both real, but it's neither better. There was a cool
individual take each of us had.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
On the on the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I thought it was great and krozer for you not
to have ever done that before tonight exactly. That's wild. Dude, man,
that is crazy. You've got an ear for that. You
got to quit radio, make some money. I mean you
can do impressions, dude, Yeah, you got the other What
is the other one you do? Felix the cat, Felix
the Cat, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
Somebody else.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
I don't even know what Philix the Cat sounds like.
He goes, we last at the no, no, but no you do.
Who's the Martin and Lewis. Jerry Lewis right, right, Jerry
Lewis right.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
That's a hot one.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, go out there, Don Pardo and Jerry Lewis factory.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
Have Don Pardo introduced Jerry Lewis, you come on, do
that thing that impressions do.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
They turn around and they know you're Jerry Lewis right.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
You had a cigarette now Jerry Lewd play maybe older
demos on that though.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Thought, Yeah, I think it's a cruise.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I think you're a you know, Alaska cruise after summer
when the old people come out.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Yeah, that's great though. Congratulations of both you. You both sounded
hotter in hell. I know it is a fierce competition,
but you both showed up.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
The went fifteen rounds.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, you know, a good offense takes care of a
good defense.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
I thought it was.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
I thought you just let him play on the field.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
And the you know, players will take care of themselves, right, Yeah,
it was hot man.
Speaker 9 (28:27):
Look, the idea of doing anything like that with with
Mark Thompson is an achievement in my head as far
as I'm concerned.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Yeah, that's a street all right. What's going on with
the news?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Conway Show on demand on the iHeart Radio app. Now
you can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime
on demand on the iHeart Radio app.
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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