January 1, 2026 • 30 mins
Tim and Mark kick things off by reminiscing about classic TV from back in the day and swapping jaw-dropping stories of radio personalities who got fired—sometimes spectacularly. Tim then tells a legendary parenting fail, recounting how a simple trip to the L.A. Zoo somehow turned into an unexpected visit to the horse track instead.The crew keeps it light with a spirited debate over favorite cereals, with Tim taking a strong stance on cereal milk and why it absolutely matters. And to close it out, Mark Thompson relives a tense moment getting pulled over, describing it like he was suddenly dropped into a scene straight out of an L.A. cop show.Retro TV, radio drama, breakfast controversies, and police-procedural energy—this Best Of is packed with classic Conway chaos. 🥂🎧
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's k IF I am sixty and you're listening to
the Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. So
we're talking about Freest Company, and we're asking Krozer who
is the original mister Roper, and of course you knew
Fel Norman found and we're also talking about that must
(00:20):
have been a difficult show to write because everything was
a misunderstanding everything, you know, because they I think the
storyline was that that John Ritter was gay and that
he wasn't having sex with either.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
That's why they told the Ropers, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And so they allowed them, the three of them to
live together, and he was always sniffing around to see
if they were having sex.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
And I do remember specifically he was in I believe
he was in his bathroom one time and he could
hear that he was working on the plumbing and he
can hear through the pipes a conversation between like Jack
and Chrissy or something.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Right there was sexually oriented and that turns out it
was nothing.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
It was like the eyes go up and then he
does a little hair flip and it's like, but he's gay.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I loved Don Nott's and my dad worked with Don
knats quite often, but I thought Norman Fell was a
better mister Roper.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah yeah, and him having Missus Roper there helped as well.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah yeah, Rights was the single one. Yeah right, yeah,
but what a great show that was.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
I thought we actually had somebody on the show. I'm
just looking it up now that was telling us that
the writing challenge was that they weren't allowed to talk
about certain things on the show, and I thought sex
was one of them, but I might be wrong.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
That's the thing they never said, right, it was.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Suggestive exactly, Yeah, and that was a so what Tim's
talking about, which is sort of the general challenge of
writing from that show, because it's almost understanding it had.
The additional challenge was you really weren't allowed to explicitly
refer to the very thing that was an essence of
a show.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
The hilarity of it.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yeah, they couldn't say it on the show, and then
they couldn't say it on the show.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Exactly. It was exactly. It was great. You remember that,
how great the theme song was? Here, let me play
it for you very seventies. So come and knock on
our door. We've been waiting for you. The kisses ours
and his Three Company to come and dance on our floor.
(02:27):
Take a step, that is, take a space that needs
your face. Three Company? Again, wasn't there a spinoff? Wasn't
there The Ropers? Was that the show? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:44):
The guy who wrote the theme to The Ropers, or
that the Three Company rather wrote to the theme to
Sesame Street.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
That's right?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, but what a It was a great show, and
it's one of the reasons you came out to California.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I was as a latchkey kid, my dad playing in
bands at night during the week. I was home alone
at night and that was right in my wheelhouse when
it started, and it was like I and and now
you know, you see that now with that perspective of
John Ritter was Dick Van Dyke, you know, the physicality
of it, you know, the pratt falls and the art
that he did it with and that I fell in
(03:16):
love with that man, and just the ability to make
people laugh like that.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I think of John Ridder often, especially when I drive
by Saint Joe's because I think that's where he died.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Oh, I think that's I talked to him about a
month before he passed. No way, Yeah, I talked him
on the phone he was on the Michael Jackson Show
on JAC and I got to tell him that he
was basically the reason that I came out to La. Wow,
that's one of the greatest experiences that I've had. And
I went to a charity function where his son was
there and I actually had a whole conversation with his
(03:46):
son afterwards about that. And even having that conversation with
his dad and he his son was just fantastic.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Michael Jackson. That must have been after KBC, then, yes, yes,
it was just after. Michael Jackson has a great story.
He was the young the British or South African?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Was he way of Britain I think? But he had
a great story.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
He won talk show Host of the Year in some big,
huge like publication, flew to New York, got the award,
came back and two weeks later he was fired at KBC.
And as he was leaving the building and with all
of his crap in the in the trunk on rodeo
drive there he pulls out and a truck totals his car.
(04:27):
It was it was, you know, just a comedy right
from the pause to the doghouse, right, But but I
I still think about that I thought, Wow, that guy
won talk show host of the Year and then got fired.
It makes you feel like nobody's ever secure in this business.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
No, it's so radio. That's like one of the most
radio things you know.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
But you know, whenever I hear anybody getting fired from radio,
I always hear I listened to the story, and I
always say to myself, Wow, I've never heard anyone fired
like that in my life.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
The stories get wilder and wilder. It's always different.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I mean, you know, if you work at a big company,
they send you an email, you you know, got hr,
you get your check and you leave here. It's like
there's like nine different ways that you've been you know,
wiped out.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yeah, and and and there's another thing.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I used to work at kalis X, and back to
when I was smart, I used to smoke cigarettes. But
I used to I was standing outside on the little
bridge that goes into the station, a little walkway bridge,
and I put my card keyt in and it didn't work.
And because it was broken, you know, there was a
sign there that it was broken. And then the sign
got wet and it fell off. And so I'm out
(05:37):
there smoking it. Every single person who came to try
to get in that building. Who worked at that station
when their car key didn't work to up. I guess
that's it.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
That's how we're gonna find that's how we're gonna find out.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
That's a wrap. That's an unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You can't see everything that the La County Fair has
to offer in one day.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
It's almost really tough, especially if you want to do
any of the rides and on the middle.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
And all that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
But it used to be great because when when my
daughter was you know, and she loved that. You know,
she loves those Orange County Fair, the La County Fair man,
it's just a you get such a big smile and
or it takes you know, take her friends with us.
But when when we first started going out there, you know,
two thousand and seven, two thousand and eight, they still
had horse racing. So I would spend the entire day
(06:32):
at the track where they had horse racing, and my
wife and daughter would go on rides and eat food
and all that stuff, and everybody won.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Everybody was a winner. Yeah, that's what he came out happy. Yeah,
but it was great.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Then they sold those dates to either you know, sant
Anita or Los Alamados, and now they have no horse
racing out there.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, my grandma used to do it.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
She would be there while we were like walking around,
so we'd kept going and check on her while she's
betting horses.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Was she a rat track round?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Yeah, she went like every couple of every couple of weeks.
Oh that's great, Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Somebody asked me today, remember who it was, how often
I go to the track. I'm like, usually only when
they're open, you know, slide out there. But I probably
go about three or four times a month.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Sometimes I'll go Saturday and Sunday. If I lose on Saturday,
I'll go back Sunday to get my money back, and
that sometimes doesn't happen. And at this point, sof doesn't
go with you at all, No, because I burned her
out when she was younger. I took her the track
every weekend and she loved it because you played in
the infield with the other kids or you know, I
cruised around with me. But I remember the one time
(07:38):
where my wife got really pissed off and she doesn't
get that pissed that often. But I said, I was
taking Sophie to the zoo, and we went to the zoo,
and we were planning on going to the zoo, the
La Zoo, and we got there, it was everyone gets
in for free day, and so there were like ten
(07:59):
thousand people wait to get in line, waiting in line
to get in, and I'm like, I don't want to
do this, it's hot outside.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I'll just go to the track with her.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
So she's about six or seven, and I drag her
out to sant Anita. And you know, in my defense,
she saw animals either way, so you know, pretty horsey
ding dong. So i'm I'm out there, and Mike Willman,
who runs publicity, out there, he said, hey, the guy
that was going to present the trophy and the feature
(08:28):
race in the eighth race, he got into an accident
or something happened at home and he couldn't make it.
Will you give the trophy out for the eighth race?
I said, yeah, sure, right, I got nothing going on.
So the eighth race wins. I think it was Doug
O'Neill's force to win. And then over the loudspeaker, they
say Ladies and Gentlemen, now presenting the award for you know,
the San Jose Handicap or San Gabriel Handicap. Ladies and
(08:52):
gentlemen can hear him every night on kfive from six
to ten pm. Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Gonwadrid, Right, you
know the eight people know who know who I was,
were out there and I'm presenting the trophy to the
guy to Doug O'Neill and the owner of the horse,
I think it's Paul Readham. And my phone rings and
my wife said, hey, how's the zoo And I said,
(09:16):
it's going pretty good. You know, it's a little crowded
because it was free day, but it's kind of cool,
which was true. That's true, right, And she says, she goes,
that's that's weird because I'm watching TV and you're on TV.
And I left the TV on TVG when I left,
and she's now watching me give away the trophy in
(09:38):
the feature race.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I can't even imagine her watching that and what and
she and she.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Was cleaning the house and just happened to look up
and see and then she goes, hey, that's my husband
and daughter on TV. And I thought they were at
the zoo, right, And she goes, you're not the zoo right.
I'm like, well, we tried to go to the zoo, right,
but it just didn't temp.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's not like you. That's right, Lieder, that's right. I tried.
Did you try to pull the Hey, it's my kid too.
Speaker 7 (10:09):
I think it's funny.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
That's so.
Speaker 8 (10:10):
Uh, it's the same story as when your dad was
supposed to take you to church.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Oh yeah, we end up at the Wincheles.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And my mom walked into Winchles and she's like, oh boy, never,
I never got to go with my dad to church again.
It really doesn't fall for from the tree, it doesn't.
And then when I got home, you know, my wife
was pissed because I lied to her. Right, And and
she grabs Sophia and Sophia's hands, she smells her hands.
She goes, why do her hands smell like cigarettes? I'm like, oh,
(10:41):
she might have picked up a snipe or a you know,
a cigarette butt out there. You know kids do, they'll
pick up stuff. And she goes, yeah, but both she goes,
both of her hands smell like cigarettes. I'm like, well,
I don't know. I mean, so did you pick up
a cigarette while you're out there. And she goes, yeah,
I think I picked up a cigarette. And she goes,
bet her clothes smell like my women, are you are
you accusing me of letting her smoking, of letting her
(11:02):
smoke at the track because I didn't she did not
not smoke a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
The implication, did you give our child a cigarette? Believe it?
I was getting rolled.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
But then she started, you know, she started kindergarten, like
I don't know, like three months later. And in kindergarten
they have all the parents there and there's probably about
thirty kids in the class, and like eighty ninety parents,
you know, grandparents, uncles, you know, a lot of a
lot of people show up to see their kid go
to school for the very first time. And I was there,
(11:34):
and so Missus F was her name. She was a
long name, but they called her Missus F. And she
had given a speech to the whole class and all
the parents. And in the speech, I remember, she said,
if your kid comes home with an art project, don't
throw the art project in the trash in front of
the kid. And I turned to my wife and go,
(11:56):
who does that? Who's who? When the kid comes home?
With an art project, who throws it in the trash?
And the teacher heard me ask that, and she goes
by the way it happened twice last year where the
kid came to school the next day and said, mom
threw my gift that I made for mom for Mother's Day.
She threw it in the trash in front of me.
I'm like, wow, that is a horrible human being.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
And then right after that she asked the kids what
they did for summer break, and so sends up and says,
dad took me to the track.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Well.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I then she said are there any questions? And I
raised my hand and I could see my daughter put
her head down on her desk, going.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Please, please, don't let this guy speak. Oh God, almighty.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So she points to me and she goes, yes, sir,
and I said, this is my daughter, Sophia. And I
was just wondering if there's a no smoking section in
this class, because she took all summer to quit smoking.
And this was the reaction from the forty five parents
(13:00):
and the thirty students or eighty parents and thirty students
in the class. After I said she picked she chose
all summer to quit smoking. She finally accomplished. Accomplished it
is there a no smoking section in this class.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And here's the reaction.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Nobody laughed crickets and and I said to her afterwards,
I said, hey, missus f I said, what's going on here?
I said, that's not bad material, but yet nobody reacted
to it. And I said, what's going on? And she says, well,
you can't make jokes nowadays about kids and smoking, Like, well.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Sure you can. I just did. That was pretty good
when she said.
Speaker 9 (13:49):
Nah, because you can't do that. And I said, that's
where we are in life. I said, Okay, it's be
a long year, a long year with this crew. All wait,
chicken on deck? Wow, long year.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Man.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I love cocoa puffs.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Those your favorites, you the coca puffs, But I growing up,
I was a huge Frosted Flakes guy.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Oh yeah, was.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Into that stuff, Is that right?
Speaker 8 (14:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Well, Raisin brand more than Frosted Flakes, but they're the same. Yeah.
I like frosted flakes.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And also the fact that you can get them anywhere
wasn't a specialty, you know, cereal that everybody had him.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Do you you go back? You and I go back.
I'm uh stephush, you're a little too young.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
But you remember like going to like a hotel or
motel and they had the little box little boxes, and
you'd cut open the box and pour the milk right there, a.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Little performation you could open it up, and then you
can open up the bag and eat it all right
in that little box and you're.
Speaker 6 (14:56):
Right enough, right, And then the reason it looked like
they tasted better, Yeah, that little box, that's right.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
It was about it.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And then the milk leaked all over you and it
was hell after that. Yeah, but that would say, uh, yeah,
that's my frosted flakes. Frosted flakes, my go to cereal.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
That is old, that's right.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yeah, they were, they were well, I thought they were
really good. Bellio, what is your go to cereal? We've
never discussed that with you. She in there, No, she's
in the can.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, I think so pushing that cereal? What about my
go to cinnamon toast crunch?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Okay, I think that's a Yeah, that's a kid the
last fifteen years, I would say that's that's definitely grown.
Speaker 6 (15:37):
And one I always forget about which I get randomly
or sing someone will have it is life. That's just
a solid because it's just sweet enough and.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Its life is good. Yeah. Yeah, you guys are those
flakes too. They're like corn kind of like it's like
a square, yeah, with holes in it. Yeah. But that's
also the kind of cereal you can just eat out
of the box like uh chick. Yeah for sure. Yeah.
I always eat cereal d I hate when it gets soggy.
I always just eat it. Try.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, you eat it fast man, Yeah, yeah, I can't
stand soggy cereal.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
The key is eating just fast enough to where before
they get before they get soggy. Yet it still flavors
the milk.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh, you drink the milk. But one of the best
parts are you are you? Are you insane? I have
not throw out.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I can't believe we've ever met that you would drink
that crap After you throw the milk.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Out, Oh do you it the milk? The milk goes out.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
As soon as the cereal gets soggy, the milk and
the cereal goes away. Everything disappears. Angel. What do you
what's your go to cereal? I don't think we've ever
asked you that in the thirty years i've known you.
Speaker 7 (16:42):
Okay, so I like there's two of them. I like,
I like that cinnamon checks.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
Yeah. One of Trader Joe's. It's like the strawberry cheerio stuff.
I don't know what they call it. It's like yogurt
coated and it's got strawberry chunks on it. It's like
little cheerio little nuggets. It's really good.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
At Trader Jos.
Speaker 6 (17:06):
Yeah, it's probably their versions, probably called like Trader Os
or something.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, probably right, yeah, Trader Rows.
Speaker 7 (17:12):
But you know, with the milk, this is what I do.
Speaker 8 (17:15):
I don't drink the milk, but I'll put a little
bit of milk inside of in the in the cereal
and so it doesn't get everything too soggy and there's
not like a lot of milk in there. But then
once I eat the cereal, there's usually a little bit
of milk left. I just put a little more cereal
in there. Okay, soak up the milk and then it's gone.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I don't understand the drinking that milk with all that
crap in it at the end.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I can't understand how people have I'm blocking my ears
I can't even hear you talking.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
By the way, strawberry yogurt O's or there exactly. They're
so good.
Speaker 7 (17:51):
Oh my gosh, they're so good, you guys.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
But what a pain in the ass to be on
vacation with like here, you want the Cheerio's, you want
the frogs of Like, no, I want this thing.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I can only find a Trader Joe's christ all right.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I only want to put so much milk in it's
where it's not too I don't want to drink the.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Milk the thing.
Speaker 7 (18:15):
I packed a box of it.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah, that sounds right, that's right. I'm glad you asked.
Trader Joe's is where we'll start, like, oh no, oh
my god, she's with us again. Oh you should have
left her at home. This one cereal? All right, Sharon,
what do you got your cheerio? Really cheerios? Yeah, cheerios.
(18:43):
You put anything in it?
Speaker 7 (18:44):
Their heart healthy?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
They're not, they say they are.
Speaker 8 (18:50):
That's just the commercial by it just came out in
the news that cheerio is one of the best cereals
you can eat.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
And what else you do for your health? Eloto, that's it?
What what you put milking in with the cerealm.
Speaker 7 (19:03):
I use almond milk.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Oh my god, I am not going on vacation with
you and Angel.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
Yeah, I use almond milk. Also, I don't use.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
You don't the two of you. I started it. Somebody, Look,
almonds don't have milk. It's not milk. You can't milk
and almonds. They don't have butters, that's for sure. That's right.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Apple Jacks, by the way, Oh, Applejacks are good.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
That's by one apple Jack and I drink the milk.
That's what. That's like, a cinnamon milk, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
The one I liked that they really had the nerve
to go for with the title was sugar Smacks.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Right, they plain, They just laid it out there for you.
Speaker 7 (19:50):
That's a good song though.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Sugar sugar Smack. Yeah, there's a song called sugar smacks.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Well, smack smacks. Sugar smack. Oh yeah, smack you back
eat the Delicious Street.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
It's what sugar smacks. I gotta find that.
Speaker 7 (20:06):
On the sugar Smack box.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Wasn't that a frog bear? I thought I thought it
was a Golden Crisps. Yeah, but I think it's a frog.
Let's see the sugar Smack song. Oh, here it is belly,
I look at him. How about that? What do kids
think about my cold smack? I think we all have
to agree it look kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Very scary, scary looking the tasting part of a complete
These are honey smacks. It's even before sugar sugar smacks,
auld before honey smacks the ds.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Hey, guys, that's trying.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Excellent.
Speaker 8 (20:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I don't like kids in in Cereal commercials. Don't they
seem to phony two?
Speaker 8 (21:00):
Fake those two because they didn't even sound like they
were jacked up on sugar like they should be after
eating funny smacks.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Or here it is value. I think I found it
all right right after this home deep book commercial. Bread up.
Look it's a green belly.
Speaker 9 (21:19):
Chaps, gosh, bigger smack smack sugar smecks, Give me a
smack and ill is that the.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
One you're talking about?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Ding dog, gosh, big smack smack, sugar smecks. Give me
a smack and I'll smack.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
To those sacks.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I wonder if you went to it.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I wonder if you went to Kellogg's today and said, hey,
I got an idea for a song for Cereal, you
smacked me and I'll smack you.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Okay, what is it called? What's called the first degree
of salt drink that milk?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Curious?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Is there more? No, no, just two people kicking the
crap out of each other.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Done.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Sugar Smacks used to have a clown as its mascot
or whatever, then eventually changed to the frog. And they
also to be healthier. That's when they switched from sugar
Smacks to honey Smack. Yes, I remember this, just like
the other one that was the Bear, that was super
Sugar cris Wow and they changed those to Golden cris
Wow to get rid of the sugar aspect.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yeah, but that man, they did that early.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
That was like one of the first things that flipped
is they they took sugar out of sugar earlier.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
Yeah, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Now you've done something that chp Hayes.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Well, I mean they're right, they're out there, you know,
cruising looking for you know, Bagdad, or doing stuff that
they shouldn't be doing that's unsafe.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Well, you know of it before you go on here?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Are you realized that the laws in California are made
for your protection, of course, thank you, sir.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
So they would rather you obey them, yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
And I typically do. And I don't know what happened
in this one instance. The car kind of got away
from me, I guess, and I was driving too fast.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's an empty for you weight. It's midnight. Yes, it
was midnight. There weren't a lot of cars in the road.
So it's not like you drive a car that's gonna
shake it at eighty five eighty eight. No, that's a
really smooth ride.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
But I'll tell you also, and this is because we
talk a lot about the way I used to drive.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I don't really drive that, you know, crazy like a
crazy man anymore so, but I.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Apparently I still have it somewhere in me because the car,
I guess got away from me or whatever I drove
for whatever I became impatient or you know. So anyway,
it's midnight and I see that thing that just makes
your heartstop, which the lights, you know, come on they
you know, they're.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Red and blue. And then yes, thank you, and that's exactly.
And then did you get scared or you angry? I
was scared. Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
That means you're still young, Okay, as you get older,
like my grandfather at one point flipped where he was
no longer scared.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
He was pissed. No, I was.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
And they have such bright lights. I mean, I don't
know where the candle power comes from on these lights.
But it was like, God that this is insane. I'm
gonna get up like a sunburn from this light. And
so I'm frightened. And I pull over to the you know,
and and the right lane. And then I hear, oh yeah,
(24:21):
and I'm thinking, oh no, I can't hear because the
windows up, So I roll the window down and I'm
still driving, you know, but now I'm in the right lane,
and goes, I can't understand what he's saying, and so
then I roll the other window down so I could
hear it, and and and I hear I got both
(24:44):
windows down, and I'm now I pull off the road. Okay,
So now I'm there on the shoulder of the road
full stop, and he pulls up on him and he goes,
I'm like, did he tell me like to throw the
keys out of the car or what is he telling me?
I don't know what he's telling me. I still can't
understand him. So I'm figuring and then then quickly he
(25:04):
said exit, oh, exit, okay, So he wanted me to
go to the next exit and pull off. So I
did pull off and then lankershim exactly and then and
I just figured he wanted me to turn. It's weird
how you think that technology would have matched the technology
(25:27):
that the lights have, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
But it doesn't.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
It's not clearly they've really outpaced the audio part of
that whole thing.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I think they do that on purpose. So you know,
they confused that the guy that he takes off and
there's a chase.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
I see, but I'm not exaggerating. I couldn't understand except
for exit. I got that and then I turned at
the bottom.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Did you not understand because you had too much drink?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Is that was? So I pull over to the to
the right, and this dude, you know, comes up to
and he's this tall, good looking dude. It's like you
got everybody, all all our cops are just like they're
just at a central casting, like right out of chips,
you know, and there he is and he's and he says.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You know, you'll no longer get the Barney fipes.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
And exactly, it's you know, and you also don't get
like the boss hog. You know what I mean, You're
not getting that. So this, he said, is your license pleasing?
And he says, uh, you know, I got you. I
got your speeding back there. I said, oh really, I
said the guys and the first thing, I said, hey, man,
I'm so sorry. I couldn't understand what you were saying.
That's why I pull over. I pull ahead.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
I just couldn't. I was desperate to understand what you
were saying.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
He said, it's okay, it's okay, just need to see
your license, digs the license and he goes, I got
you for speeding. And I was still like rocked with
guilt that I was unable to understand him before, like
I couldn't follow his instructions. I felt like that maybe
that was he thought I was messing with him. He
looks the license, he said, this is still your addresses. Yeah,
I said, okay. I said, how fast was I going?
He said eighty five?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I said eighty five. He said, yeah, eighty five, said
when I was? He said, I said, well, and man,
this is pretty classic. I said, well, I really I
thought people were passing me. And he said, when I
was following you you were the fastest guy out there.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I thought, well that's probably true. Yeah, all right, you're
the fastest.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
So I So he goes back, and then right as
he's leaving, this other person comes up, like I guess
the you know, his partner. And I look over and
it's a woman and she's stunning. Okay, I'm thinking, are
you kidding me? Are you a real cop? I mean,
are you an actress? Maybe like studying for a role
(27:42):
as a cop. She was that attractive and and so
I said, aren't you late for an audition? No, no,
I did not say that. I said I did the
same thing. I felt so bad. I said, hey, I
want to apologize. I said, I couldn't understand what you
guys were saying. That's why I pulled over. And then
I pulled a head. She said it's okay, said we'll
be right back. They go back to the cruiser. I
(28:03):
think that's what they call them.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Cruisers.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Sure, and it was like a minute, maybe two minutes.
They came back and they gave me the license. She
came back and she said, be careful with your speed.
She said, it's that speeding tickets are expensive and it's dangerous.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Man, then let me go and they split. Yeah. Holy smoked.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
He did ask me if I was if I had
been drinking, and I said the answer was truthfully no,
And I think that's kind of what they were worried about.
If I'd been drinking at all, I think it might
have been a different conversation.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
I never drink, and even like one beer. If we
have a beer at dinner, I have gen drive home.
Because I had a buddy of mine who had a
couple of drinks and he got rear ended at a
stop sign and he got a DUI for it. Right,
I mean, he was blamed in the collision because he
(28:51):
had like it wasn't over the limit, but he had
alcohol in his system and somebody was hurting the car
behind him. Sure, and it wasn't his fault. He was
sitting there, stopped and a guy hit him. This is
how paranoid I am about about drinking and driving. If
I'm homeworking on the garage, like on a Saturday night,
and I've had a couple of beers, I'll ask Jen
to bring the car in from the curb into the garage.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Wow, isn't that crazy? That's really I mean that's but see,
this is this is what I envision.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I go to move the car off the curb, somebody
hits me and I've had, you know, nineteen drinks and
it's done.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I'm over right. Well that's a level of caution. That's short.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
It's border bordering on a problem. Yeah, I mean that
I have a problem. I'm what's funny about this is
you were surrounded by drinkers. I remember telling a story
with McLean Stevenson driving you from a ballgame downtown and
he literally had like a Gin and Tonic in his
hand while he was driving.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
All right, I've never used that name on the air.
I said it was my dad's friend, and I'm so sorry.
Maybe it was not McLain Stephenson.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Maybe it was not.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I'm serious, I was just picked pick the name mclenan Stevenson.
Good have been anybody.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
We're live on KFI AM six forty Conway Show on
demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always hear
us live on KFI AM six forty four to seven
pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on the
iHeartRadio app.
It's k IF I am sixty and you're listening to
the Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. So
we're talking about Freest Company, and we're asking Krozer who
is the original mister Roper, and of course you knew
Fel Norman found and we're also talking about that must
(00:20):
have been a difficult show to write because everything was
a misunderstanding everything, you know, because they I think the
storyline was that that John Ritter was gay and that
he wasn't having sex with either.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
That's why they told the Ropers, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And so they allowed them, the three of them to
live together, and he was always sniffing around to see
if they were having sex.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
And I do remember specifically he was in I believe
he was in his bathroom one time and he could
hear that he was working on the plumbing and he
can hear through the pipes a conversation between like Jack
and Chrissy or something.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Right there was sexually oriented and that turns out it
was nothing.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
It was like the eyes go up and then he
does a little hair flip and it's like, but he's gay.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I loved Don Nott's and my dad worked with Don
knats quite often, but I thought Norman Fell was a
better mister Roper.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah yeah, and him having Missus Roper there helped as well.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah yeah, Rights was the single one. Yeah right, yeah,
but what a great show that was.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
I thought we actually had somebody on the show. I'm
just looking it up now that was telling us that
the writing challenge was that they weren't allowed to talk
about certain things on the show, and I thought sex
was one of them, but I might be wrong.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
That's the thing they never said, right, it was.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Suggestive exactly, Yeah, and that was a so what Tim's
talking about, which is sort of the general challenge of
writing from that show, because it's almost understanding it had.
The additional challenge was you really weren't allowed to explicitly
refer to the very thing that was an essence of
a show.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
The hilarity of it.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yeah, they couldn't say it on the show, and then
they couldn't say it on the show.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Exactly. It was exactly. It was great. You remember that,
how great the theme song was? Here, let me play
it for you very seventies. So come and knock on
our door. We've been waiting for you. The kisses ours
and his Three Company to come and dance on our floor.
(02:27):
Take a step, that is, take a space that needs
your face. Three Company? Again, wasn't there a spinoff? Wasn't
there The Ropers? Was that the show? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:44):
The guy who wrote the theme to The Ropers, or
that the Three Company rather wrote to the theme to
Sesame Street.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
That's right?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, but what a It was a great show, and
it's one of the reasons you came out to California.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I was as a latchkey kid, my dad playing in
bands at night during the week. I was home alone
at night and that was right in my wheelhouse when
it started, and it was like I and and now
you know, you see that now with that perspective of
John Ritter was Dick Van Dyke, you know, the physicality
of it, you know, the pratt falls and the art
that he did it with and that I fell in
(03:16):
love with that man, and just the ability to make
people laugh like that.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I think of John Ridder often, especially when I drive
by Saint Joe's because I think that's where he died.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Oh, I think that's I talked to him about a
month before he passed. No way, Yeah, I talked him
on the phone he was on the Michael Jackson Show
on JAC and I got to tell him that he
was basically the reason that I came out to La. Wow,
that's one of the greatest experiences that I've had. And
I went to a charity function where his son was
there and I actually had a whole conversation with his
(03:46):
son afterwards about that. And even having that conversation with
his dad and he his son was just fantastic.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Michael Jackson. That must have been after KBC, then, yes, yes,
it was just after. Michael Jackson has a great story.
He was the young the British or South African?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Was he way of Britain I think? But he had
a great story.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
He won talk show Host of the Year in some big,
huge like publication, flew to New York, got the award,
came back and two weeks later he was fired at KBC.
And as he was leaving the building and with all
of his crap in the in the trunk on rodeo
drive there he pulls out and a truck totals his car.
(04:27):
It was it was, you know, just a comedy right
from the pause to the doghouse, right, But but I
I still think about that I thought, Wow, that guy
won talk show host of the Year and then got fired.
It makes you feel like nobody's ever secure in this business.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
No, it's so radio. That's like one of the most
radio things you know.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
But you know, whenever I hear anybody getting fired from radio,
I always hear I listened to the story, and I
always say to myself, Wow, I've never heard anyone fired
like that in my life.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
The stories get wilder and wilder. It's always different.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I mean, you know, if you work at a big company,
they send you an email, you you know, got hr,
you get your check and you leave here. It's like
there's like nine different ways that you've been you know,
wiped out.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yeah, and and and there's another thing.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I used to work at kalis X, and back to
when I was smart, I used to smoke cigarettes. But
I used to I was standing outside on the little
bridge that goes into the station, a little walkway bridge,
and I put my card keyt in and it didn't work.
And because it was broken, you know, there was a
sign there that it was broken. And then the sign
got wet and it fell off. And so I'm out
(05:37):
there smoking it. Every single person who came to try
to get in that building. Who worked at that station
when their car key didn't work to up. I guess
that's it.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
That's how we're gonna find that's how we're gonna find out.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
That's a wrap. That's an unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You can't see everything that the La County Fair has
to offer in one day.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
It's almost really tough, especially if you want to do
any of the rides and on the middle.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
And all that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
But it used to be great because when when my
daughter was you know, and she loved that. You know,
she loves those Orange County Fair, the La County Fair man,
it's just a you get such a big smile and
or it takes you know, take her friends with us.
But when when we first started going out there, you know,
two thousand and seven, two thousand and eight, they still
had horse racing. So I would spend the entire day
(06:32):
at the track where they had horse racing, and my
wife and daughter would go on rides and eat food
and all that stuff, and everybody won.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Everybody was a winner. Yeah, that's what he came out happy. Yeah,
but it was great.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Then they sold those dates to either you know, sant
Anita or Los Alamados, and now they have no horse
racing out there.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, my grandma used to do it.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
She would be there while we were like walking around,
so we'd kept going and check on her while she's
betting horses.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Was she a rat track round?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Yeah, she went like every couple of every couple of weeks.
Oh that's great, Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Somebody asked me today, remember who it was, how often
I go to the track. I'm like, usually only when
they're open, you know, slide out there. But I probably
go about three or four times a month.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Sometimes I'll go Saturday and Sunday. If I lose on Saturday,
I'll go back Sunday to get my money back, and
that sometimes doesn't happen. And at this point, sof doesn't
go with you at all, No, because I burned her
out when she was younger. I took her the track
every weekend and she loved it because you played in
the infield with the other kids or you know, I
cruised around with me. But I remember the one time
(07:38):
where my wife got really pissed off and she doesn't
get that pissed that often. But I said, I was
taking Sophie to the zoo, and we went to the zoo,
and we were planning on going to the zoo, the
La Zoo, and we got there, it was everyone gets
in for free day, and so there were like ten
(07:59):
thousand people wait to get in line, waiting in line
to get in, and I'm like, I don't want to
do this, it's hot outside.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I'll just go to the track with her.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
So she's about six or seven, and I drag her
out to sant Anita. And you know, in my defense,
she saw animals either way, so you know, pretty horsey
ding dong. So i'm I'm out there, and Mike Willman,
who runs publicity, out there, he said, hey, the guy
that was going to present the trophy and the feature
(08:28):
race in the eighth race, he got into an accident
or something happened at home and he couldn't make it.
Will you give the trophy out for the eighth race?
I said, yeah, sure, right, I got nothing going on.
So the eighth race wins. I think it was Doug
O'Neill's force to win. And then over the loudspeaker, they
say Ladies and Gentlemen, now presenting the award for you know,
the San Jose Handicap or San Gabriel Handicap. Ladies and
(08:52):
gentlemen can hear him every night on kfive from six
to ten pm. Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Gonwadrid, Right, you
know the eight people know who know who I was,
were out there and I'm presenting the trophy to the
guy to Doug O'Neill and the owner of the horse,
I think it's Paul Readham. And my phone rings and
my wife said, hey, how's the zoo And I said,
(09:16):
it's going pretty good. You know, it's a little crowded
because it was free day, but it's kind of cool,
which was true. That's true, right, And she says, she goes,
that's that's weird because I'm watching TV and you're on TV.
And I left the TV on TVG when I left,
and she's now watching me give away the trophy in
(09:38):
the feature race.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I can't even imagine her watching that and what and
she and she.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Was cleaning the house and just happened to look up
and see and then she goes, hey, that's my husband
and daughter on TV. And I thought they were at
the zoo, right, And she goes, you're not the zoo right.
I'm like, well, we tried to go to the zoo, right,
but it just didn't temp.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's not like you. That's right, Lieder, that's right. I tried.
Did you try to pull the Hey, it's my kid too.
Speaker 7 (10:09):
I think it's funny.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
That's so.
Speaker 8 (10:10):
Uh, it's the same story as when your dad was
supposed to take you to church.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Oh yeah, we end up at the Wincheles.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And my mom walked into Winchles and she's like, oh boy, never,
I never got to go with my dad to church again.
It really doesn't fall for from the tree, it doesn't.
And then when I got home, you know, my wife
was pissed because I lied to her. Right, And and
she grabs Sophia and Sophia's hands, she smells her hands.
She goes, why do her hands smell like cigarettes? I'm like, oh,
(10:41):
she might have picked up a snipe or a you know,
a cigarette butt out there. You know kids do, they'll
pick up stuff. And she goes, yeah, but both she goes,
both of her hands smell like cigarettes. I'm like, well,
I don't know. I mean, so did you pick up
a cigarette while you're out there. And she goes, yeah,
I think I picked up a cigarette. And she goes,
bet her clothes smell like my women, are you are
you accusing me of letting her smoking, of letting her
(11:02):
smoke at the track because I didn't she did not
not smoke a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
The implication, did you give our child a cigarette? Believe it?
I was getting rolled.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
But then she started, you know, she started kindergarten, like
I don't know, like three months later. And in kindergarten
they have all the parents there and there's probably about
thirty kids in the class, and like eighty ninety parents,
you know, grandparents, uncles, you know, a lot of a
lot of people show up to see their kid go
to school for the very first time. And I was there,
(11:34):
and so Missus F was her name. She was a
long name, but they called her Missus F. And she
had given a speech to the whole class and all
the parents. And in the speech, I remember, she said,
if your kid comes home with an art project, don't
throw the art project in the trash in front of
the kid. And I turned to my wife and go,
(11:56):
who does that? Who's who? When the kid comes home?
With an art project, who throws it in the trash?
And the teacher heard me ask that, and she goes
by the way it happened twice last year where the
kid came to school the next day and said, mom
threw my gift that I made for mom for Mother's Day.
She threw it in the trash in front of me.
I'm like, wow, that is a horrible human being.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
And then right after that she asked the kids what
they did for summer break, and so sends up and says,
dad took me to the track.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Well.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I then she said are there any questions? And I
raised my hand and I could see my daughter put
her head down on her desk, going.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Please, please, don't let this guy speak. Oh God, almighty.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So she points to me and she goes, yes, sir,
and I said, this is my daughter, Sophia. And I
was just wondering if there's a no smoking section in
this class, because she took all summer to quit smoking.
And this was the reaction from the forty five parents
(13:00):
and the thirty students or eighty parents and thirty students
in the class. After I said she picked she chose
all summer to quit smoking. She finally accomplished. Accomplished it
is there a no smoking section in this class.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And here's the reaction.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Nobody laughed crickets and and I said to her afterwards,
I said, hey, missus f I said, what's going on here?
I said, that's not bad material, but yet nobody reacted
to it. And I said, what's going on? And she says, well,
you can't make jokes nowadays about kids and smoking, Like, well.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Sure you can. I just did. That was pretty good
when she said.
Speaker 9 (13:49):
Nah, because you can't do that. And I said, that's
where we are in life. I said, Okay, it's be
a long year, a long year with this crew. All wait,
chicken on deck? Wow, long year.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Man.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I love cocoa puffs.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Those your favorites, you the coca puffs, But I growing up,
I was a huge Frosted Flakes guy.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Oh yeah, was.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Into that stuff, Is that right?
Speaker 8 (14:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Well, Raisin brand more than Frosted Flakes, but they're the same. Yeah.
I like frosted flakes.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And also the fact that you can get them anywhere
wasn't a specialty, you know, cereal that everybody had him.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Do you you go back? You and I go back.
I'm uh stephush, you're a little too young.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
But you remember like going to like a hotel or
motel and they had the little box little boxes, and
you'd cut open the box and pour the milk right there, a.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Little performation you could open it up, and then you
can open up the bag and eat it all right
in that little box and you're.
Speaker 6 (14:56):
Right enough, right, And then the reason it looked like
they tasted better, Yeah, that little box, that's right.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
It was about it.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And then the milk leaked all over you and it
was hell after that. Yeah, but that would say, uh, yeah,
that's my frosted flakes. Frosted flakes, my go to cereal.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
That is old, that's right.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yeah, they were, they were well, I thought they were
really good. Bellio, what is your go to cereal? We've
never discussed that with you. She in there, No, she's
in the can.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, I think so pushing that cereal? What about my
go to cinnamon toast crunch?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Okay, I think that's a Yeah, that's a kid the
last fifteen years, I would say that's that's definitely grown.
Speaker 6 (15:37):
And one I always forget about which I get randomly
or sing someone will have it is life. That's just
a solid because it's just sweet enough and.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Its life is good. Yeah. Yeah, you guys are those
flakes too. They're like corn kind of like it's like
a square, yeah, with holes in it. Yeah. But that's
also the kind of cereal you can just eat out
of the box like uh chick. Yeah for sure. Yeah.
I always eat cereal d I hate when it gets soggy.
I always just eat it. Try.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, you eat it fast man, Yeah, yeah, I can't
stand soggy cereal.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
The key is eating just fast enough to where before
they get before they get soggy. Yet it still flavors
the milk.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh, you drink the milk. But one of the best
parts are you are you? Are you insane? I have
not throw out.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I can't believe we've ever met that you would drink
that crap After you throw the milk.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Out, Oh do you it the milk? The milk goes out.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
As soon as the cereal gets soggy, the milk and
the cereal goes away. Everything disappears. Angel. What do you
what's your go to cereal? I don't think we've ever
asked you that in the thirty years i've known you.
Speaker 7 (16:42):
Okay, so I like there's two of them. I like,
I like that cinnamon checks.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
Yeah. One of Trader Joe's. It's like the strawberry cheerio stuff.
I don't know what they call it. It's like yogurt
coated and it's got strawberry chunks on it. It's like
little cheerio little nuggets. It's really good.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
At Trader Jos.
Speaker 6 (17:06):
Yeah, it's probably their versions, probably called like Trader Os
or something.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, probably right, yeah, Trader Rows.
Speaker 7 (17:12):
But you know, with the milk, this is what I do.
Speaker 8 (17:15):
I don't drink the milk, but I'll put a little
bit of milk inside of in the in the cereal
and so it doesn't get everything too soggy and there's
not like a lot of milk in there. But then
once I eat the cereal, there's usually a little bit
of milk left. I just put a little more cereal
in there. Okay, soak up the milk and then it's gone.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I don't understand the drinking that milk with all that
crap in it at the end.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I can't understand how people have I'm blocking my ears
I can't even hear you talking.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
By the way, strawberry yogurt O's or there exactly. They're
so good.
Speaker 7 (17:51):
Oh my gosh, they're so good, you guys.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
But what a pain in the ass to be on
vacation with like here, you want the Cheerio's, you want
the frogs of Like, no, I want this thing.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I can only find a Trader Joe's christ all right.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I only want to put so much milk in it's
where it's not too I don't want to drink the.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Milk the thing.
Speaker 7 (18:15):
I packed a box of it.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah, that sounds right, that's right. I'm glad you asked.
Trader Joe's is where we'll start, like, oh no, oh
my god, she's with us again. Oh you should have
left her at home. This one cereal? All right, Sharon,
what do you got your cheerio? Really cheerios? Yeah, cheerios.
(18:43):
You put anything in it?
Speaker 7 (18:44):
Their heart healthy?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
They're not, they say they are.
Speaker 8 (18:50):
That's just the commercial by it just came out in
the news that cheerio is one of the best cereals
you can eat.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
And what else you do for your health? Eloto, that's it?
What what you put milking in with the cerealm.
Speaker 7 (19:03):
I use almond milk.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Oh my god, I am not going on vacation with
you and Angel.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
Yeah, I use almond milk. Also, I don't use.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
You don't the two of you. I started it. Somebody, Look,
almonds don't have milk. It's not milk. You can't milk
and almonds. They don't have butters, that's for sure. That's right.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Apple Jacks, by the way, Oh, Applejacks are good.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
That's by one apple Jack and I drink the milk.
That's what. That's like, a cinnamon milk, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
The one I liked that they really had the nerve
to go for with the title was sugar Smacks.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Right, they plain, They just laid it out there for you.
Speaker 7 (19:50):
That's a good song though.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Sugar sugar Smack. Yeah, there's a song called sugar smacks.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Well, smack smacks. Sugar smack. Oh yeah, smack you back
eat the Delicious Street.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
It's what sugar smacks. I gotta find that.
Speaker 7 (20:06):
On the sugar Smack box.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Wasn't that a frog bear? I thought I thought it
was a Golden Crisps. Yeah, but I think it's a frog.
Let's see the sugar Smack song. Oh, here it is belly,
I look at him. How about that? What do kids
think about my cold smack? I think we all have
to agree it look kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Very scary, scary looking the tasting part of a complete
These are honey smacks. It's even before sugar sugar smacks,
auld before honey smacks the ds.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Hey, guys, that's trying.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Excellent.
Speaker 8 (20:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I don't like kids in in Cereal commercials. Don't they
seem to phony two?
Speaker 8 (21:00):
Fake those two because they didn't even sound like they
were jacked up on sugar like they should be after
eating funny smacks.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Or here it is value. I think I found it
all right right after this home deep book commercial. Bread up.
Look it's a green belly.
Speaker 9 (21:19):
Chaps, gosh, bigger smack smack sugar smecks, Give me a
smack and ill is that the.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
One you're talking about?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Ding dog, gosh, big smack smack, sugar smecks. Give me
a smack and I'll smack.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
To those sacks.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I wonder if you went to it.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I wonder if you went to Kellogg's today and said, hey,
I got an idea for a song for Cereal, you
smacked me and I'll smack you.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Okay, what is it called? What's called the first degree
of salt drink that milk?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Curious?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Is there more? No, no, just two people kicking the
crap out of each other.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Done.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Sugar Smacks used to have a clown as its mascot
or whatever, then eventually changed to the frog. And they
also to be healthier. That's when they switched from sugar
Smacks to honey Smack. Yes, I remember this, just like
the other one that was the Bear, that was super
Sugar cris Wow and they changed those to Golden cris
Wow to get rid of the sugar aspect.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yeah, but that man, they did that early.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
That was like one of the first things that flipped
is they they took sugar out of sugar earlier.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
Yeah, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from
KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Now you've done something that chp Hayes.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Well, I mean they're right, they're out there, you know,
cruising looking for you know, Bagdad, or doing stuff that
they shouldn't be doing that's unsafe.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Well, you know of it before you go on here?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Are you realized that the laws in California are made
for your protection, of course, thank you, sir.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
So they would rather you obey them, yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
And I typically do. And I don't know what happened
in this one instance. The car kind of got away
from me, I guess, and I was driving too fast.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's an empty for you weight. It's midnight. Yes, it
was midnight. There weren't a lot of cars in the road.
So it's not like you drive a car that's gonna
shake it at eighty five eighty eight. No, that's a
really smooth ride.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
But I'll tell you also, and this is because we
talk a lot about the way I used to drive.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I don't really drive that, you know, crazy like a
crazy man anymore so, but I.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Apparently I still have it somewhere in me because the car,
I guess got away from me or whatever I drove
for whatever I became impatient or you know. So anyway,
it's midnight and I see that thing that just makes
your heartstop, which the lights, you know, come on they
you know, they're.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Red and blue. And then yes, thank you, and that's exactly.
And then did you get scared or you angry? I
was scared. Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
That means you're still young, Okay, as you get older,
like my grandfather at one point flipped where he was
no longer scared.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
He was pissed. No, I was.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
And they have such bright lights. I mean, I don't
know where the candle power comes from on these lights.
But it was like, God that this is insane. I'm
gonna get up like a sunburn from this light. And
so I'm frightened. And I pull over to the you know,
and and the right lane. And then I hear, oh yeah,
(24:21):
and I'm thinking, oh no, I can't hear because the
windows up, So I roll the window down and I'm
still driving, you know, but now I'm in the right lane,
and goes, I can't understand what he's saying, and so
then I roll the other window down so I could
hear it, and and and I hear I got both
(24:44):
windows down, and I'm now I pull off the road. Okay,
So now I'm there on the shoulder of the road
full stop, and he pulls up on him and he goes,
I'm like, did he tell me like to throw the
keys out of the car or what is he telling me?
I don't know what he's telling me. I still can't
understand him. So I'm figuring and then then quickly he
(25:04):
said exit, oh, exit, okay, So he wanted me to
go to the next exit and pull off. So I
did pull off and then lankershim exactly and then and
I just figured he wanted me to turn. It's weird
how you think that technology would have matched the technology
(25:27):
that the lights have, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
But it doesn't.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
It's not clearly they've really outpaced the audio part of
that whole thing.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I think they do that on purpose. So you know,
they confused that the guy that he takes off and
there's a chase.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
I see, but I'm not exaggerating. I couldn't understand except
for exit. I got that and then I turned at
the bottom.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Did you not understand because you had too much drink?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Is that was? So I pull over to the to
the right, and this dude, you know, comes up to
and he's this tall, good looking dude. It's like you
got everybody, all all our cops are just like they're
just at a central casting, like right out of chips,
you know, and there he is and he's and he says.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You know, you'll no longer get the Barney fipes.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
And exactly, it's you know, and you also don't get
like the boss hog. You know what I mean, You're
not getting that. So this, he said, is your license pleasing?
And he says, uh, you know, I got you. I
got your speeding back there. I said, oh really, I
said the guys and the first thing, I said, hey, man,
I'm so sorry. I couldn't understand what you were saying.
That's why I pull over. I pull ahead.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
I just couldn't. I was desperate to understand what you
were saying.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
He said, it's okay, it's okay, just need to see
your license, digs the license and he goes, I got
you for speeding. And I was still like rocked with
guilt that I was unable to understand him before, like
I couldn't follow his instructions. I felt like that maybe
that was he thought I was messing with him. He
looks the license, he said, this is still your addresses. Yeah,
I said, okay. I said, how fast was I going?
He said eighty five?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I said eighty five. He said, yeah, eighty five, said
when I was? He said, I said, well, and man,
this is pretty classic. I said, well, I really I
thought people were passing me. And he said, when I
was following you you were the fastest guy out there.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I thought, well that's probably true. Yeah, all right, you're
the fastest.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
So I So he goes back, and then right as
he's leaving, this other person comes up, like I guess
the you know, his partner. And I look over and
it's a woman and she's stunning. Okay, I'm thinking, are
you kidding me? Are you a real cop? I mean,
are you an actress? Maybe like studying for a role
(27:42):
as a cop. She was that attractive and and so
I said, aren't you late for an audition? No, no,
I did not say that. I said I did the
same thing. I felt so bad. I said, hey, I
want to apologize. I said, I couldn't understand what you
guys were saying. That's why I pulled over. And then
I pulled a head. She said it's okay, said we'll
be right back. They go back to the cruiser. I
(28:03):
think that's what they call them.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Cruisers.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Sure, and it was like a minute, maybe two minutes.
They came back and they gave me the license. She
came back and she said, be careful with your speed.
She said, it's that speeding tickets are expensive and it's dangerous.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Man, then let me go and they split. Yeah. Holy smoked.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
He did ask me if I was if I had
been drinking, and I said the answer was truthfully no,
And I think that's kind of what they were worried about.
If I'd been drinking at all, I think it might
have been a different conversation.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
I never drink, and even like one beer. If we
have a beer at dinner, I have gen drive home.
Because I had a buddy of mine who had a
couple of drinks and he got rear ended at a
stop sign and he got a DUI for it. Right,
I mean, he was blamed in the collision because he
(28:51):
had like it wasn't over the limit, but he had
alcohol in his system and somebody was hurting the car
behind him. Sure, and it wasn't his fault. He was
sitting there, stopped and a guy hit him. This is
how paranoid I am about about drinking and driving. If
I'm homeworking on the garage, like on a Saturday night,
and I've had a couple of beers, I'll ask Jen
to bring the car in from the curb into the garage.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Wow, isn't that crazy? That's really I mean that's but see,
this is this is what I envision.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I go to move the car off the curb, somebody
hits me and I've had, you know, nineteen drinks and
it's done.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I'm over right. Well that's a level of caution. That's short.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
It's border bordering on a problem. Yeah, I mean that
I have a problem. I'm what's funny about this is
you were surrounded by drinkers. I remember telling a story
with McLean Stevenson driving you from a ballgame downtown and
he literally had like a Gin and Tonic in his
hand while he was driving.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
All right, I've never used that name on the air.
I said it was my dad's friend, and I'm so sorry.
Maybe it was not McLain Stephenson.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Maybe it was not.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I'm serious, I was just picked pick the name mclenan Stevenson.
Good have been anybody.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
We're live on KFI AM six forty Conway Show on
demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always hear
us live on KFI AM six forty four to seven
pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on the
iHeartRadio app.
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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