December 26, 2025 • 26 mins
Hour 2 of the Day After Christmas Best Of Conway delivers peak Conway chaos. The crew stumbles upon Casa Bianca Pizza, a legendary local spot somehow missed by everyone — sparking disbelief, cravings, and immediate food takes.Things take a sharp left turn when Tim dives into the bizarre world of OnlyFans entrepreneurship, breaking down a model who literally charges for farts. Yes, really.The nostalgia kicks in as the crew reminisces about growing up on Hamburger Helper, just as the comfort-food classic makes a comeback. The hour wraps with Tim tackling TikTok rules, debating what the appropriate age really is to jump into the app — and what’s way too young.Food, internet absurdity, throwback memories, and generational debates — exactly what the day after Christmas calls for. 🎄➡️🎧
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's k IF. I am six forty and you're listening
to The Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
I had lunch today with the program director here, Brian Long.
Oh yeah, what do you have to say? I just said, look,
you're you know, the show sucks. You got to pick
(00:22):
it up. And I said, really, yeah, no one, I
don't know what to do. I just started crying and
then he said I'm sorry and he split. So he said,
you're a big star. We're lucky to have you. Maybe
I should have lunch with you. No, it was great.
We had a lot of lass, a lot of fun.
He's a normal, you know guy. Yeah, you know you
can you don't have to watch you know, yeah, everything,
(00:45):
which is nice. But he told me about this place
called Look, and I'm really embarrassed that I grew up
in San Fernando Valley, born and raised, and I know
all the best pizza places, I know the best burger places.
I know the valley like the back of my hand.
And he said, have you ever been to Casa Bianca's
Pizza Pie? And I said, I've never heard of it,
(01:07):
and he almost fell off his chair. He said, it's
the best Pizza in La It's right off the one
thirty four in Eagle Rock before you get into Pasadena
if you're coming from the San Fernando Valley, and by
looking at the reviews here, it has thousands of reviews
four point six out of five stars. I bet there
(01:29):
are people who are listening to the show who've been
going there for decades and are shocked that I've never
heard of this place. Have you have you heard of it? No?
I haven't. Crozier you get out? Have you heard of it?
Cosa Biancas?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
What about you? Sammy? Have you heard of it?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
One? I loved man? Man? How did we all pass
this day?
Speaker 4 (01:51):
I have actually been there once?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
How was it?
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It was delicious? He's right, I totally forgot about.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
When did you go?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
It's been a few years. It's when I was living.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
In must have really enjoyed it?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Uh well, yes, yeah I did. It was delicious.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Cash only? Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah you said cash only. Yeah,
so you gotta bring cash or I don't know, check
or something or no, just cash? Thanks? Check? Oh yeah, really,
I'm sure they love getting checks. But it's a little
place that's been around probably forever. I'm gonna ask if
it was a franchise and that I saw the cash
(02:26):
only I'm going but not. Let's see, all right, the
history of the place, because I'm really embarrassed that I've
never been there. But it's supposed to be great. It's
been there for fifty years in Eagle Rock, and it
says here, this year is our this is the occasion.
(02:47):
This year we're celebrating fifty years one of Eagle Rock's
best restaurants. It's fifty years old. Even the possibility of
this happening would probably not have occurred to Sam and
Janine Maratona Mara Torma. I'm probably booting that name. When
they opened Cosa Bianca with Sam's brother in nineteen fifty five,
(03:12):
that would be eighty so it's not fifty seventy. Yeah,
it's old seventieth birthday and yeah, established in nineteen fifty five.
But if you go to the history on their website,
their history starts from an article that was in the
(03:32):
newspapers in two thousand and five. So that's what I
love about this place. They're concentrating on their pizza, not
on their website, but it looks great. I might go
there tonight. I don't know what they let's see what
the hours are. So good, God, it does look great.
Pizza pie old school. They got like big meatballs. Okay,
(03:55):
so seriously we're talking enough. I'll buy if someone goes
and goes at nine oh wow, okay, so we got
to get there quickly after we're done here. Takeout ends
at ten Tuesday, Tuesday, Thursday. It says, yeah, four to
ten pm Friday and Saturday, four pm midnight closed. Oh
this is really good. Closed Sunday and Monday. That means
(04:17):
they're a real restaurant, you know, where they clean the
place up. I don't like a place that's open twenty
four hours a day, seven days a week. That's when
the cockroaches slide in. But this place closes for two
days Sunday and Monday. Cosa bianca I've never heard of
in my life. And I'm in that area all the time.
(04:38):
You know, that Eagle Rock area. Yeah, you know, if
you've got a relative or a friend who's down on
his luck and he's using one of those forty two
dollars motels in that area, Oh sure, Yeah, that's where
you live. That's where you are. Yeah, that's where you are,
when Family Members. Did you do a show on Fox
when family Members Go Bad? No?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I did when Good Times Go Bad? When two, three, four, five,
and six Good Pets Go Bad? One, two, two, four, five,
six and seven. They didn't do in Good family Members
Go Bad? How did good is good people go bad?
I know good pets go bad and good times.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Go times go bad? Members? What are what are some
of the times that went bad? You know?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Like uh, fairness right now, Fairfield, California. It was a
state fair like any other state fair. People gathered together
for years here and never had any incidents. But today
it would be something different. That kind of thing that
guy falls off the h Ferris wheel is a family.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
But today exactly, and then show the video of the
guy falling off.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Huh oh yeah, it was pretty Yeah, the screams of
terror ring through the entire crowd.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Why'd they stop doing it? It seems like they did.
They didn't. They did seven of them, but it seems
like the early Funniest Home videos. Yeah, it was, of course.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Uh, Funniest Home Videos was on at the time.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I mean, you know, on Sunday nights.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Uh, this is more kind of a more chilling experience
to see it was on in prime time during the week, so.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
You and I like. I like South American Funniest Home
Videos because you know, because they cut here right before
the kid loses an eye. Oh I see, you know
they stop the tape. But in other countries, that's just
the that's the first court, that's just the curtain opening. Yeah,
that's yeah, that's the palate cleanser. You know. What happens
(06:30):
is that the internet happened, So all those little quick
little bites, they all went on the internet, so you
can go watch it anytime you want. Essentially, that's what
happened to those shows. I loved that Funniest Home Videos, man,
I would watch that every single week, but I would
fast forward through the dumb videos. I just like the setups. Yeah,
that's always the best part of that press And who
was the announcer around home videos? That's right?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, the funniers videosen yours, DAVC Funny's dumb videos.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, vote for you know, guy's pet getting hit by lightning,
talking Pokey.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Getting hit in the kids baseball, monkey driving through car wash.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Fake video of the kid getting into college. Vote now
that was classic, man, That Funniest Home Videos, it's It's
still around, isn't it. They're still on. They still are.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
They went through a couple of hosts though, oh.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah they have who is Saga was the original?
And then they I want to say, they hear Tom
of course bern and then Daisy Fuentis and like, you.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Know, my daughter was very young when that Tom Bergeron
was on and she heard that, like when she was two,
and she walked around the house for a couple of
weeks going and now Tom Bergeron, now Tom Bergeron. It's
like one of the first things she could actually pretty great,
you know, a mimic or not. I man, sure that
(08:03):
to him if you ever made him. Yeah, it was great.
I enjoyed that. Have funny song videos.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
I got my new favorite thing to is to go
on to only fans and pay really hot women to
fart in their pants.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Jesus man, it's disgusting, but that's do they wave their
hand behind you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
They walk around, Yeah, they want I don't think no,
not not yet. I mean I could ask them to
do that, but they don't really do that.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Coss extra.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
But there's a woman that does this. She's in only fans.
She makes two hundred dollars per video selling her farting.
When most people think of outside hustles, they don't think
of farting on video. They picture, you know, selling vintage
clothing or ride share or crafting, or selling something on
(09:00):
you know, Etsy or Amazon. But for this twenty three
year old Avalon saff Saph known for her to her
fans as Lana, her most lucrative gig comes from something
less conventional, selling videos of herself farting. How about that quote,
I've been paid two hundred bucks to send a guy
(09:23):
in Burbank.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Really in Burbank. Wow, something size weird?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Something up there of her farting on camera? Yeah? She
It says, no smell, nothing weird, just audible farting. Well,
I don't know if you can say nothing weird.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
I got a question about that.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I knew it. I knew it. Angel, you should get
in on this. I've been around you.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Does she show her face?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yes? Oh yeah, no mask? No? Is that a deal
breaker for you?
Speaker 6 (09:57):
Well?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
I could put make sure of Bello, that's the line.
I could put a picture of Bellio in front of
my face.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
And expect a letter from sweet James at two hundred
bucks a fart. I mean, you know, Angel, you blew
like a thousand dollars last time I saw you.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I know, I know, and and you know I could
have cash.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
That's right. But in uh. In episode two of the
podcast Hope Hope, host James Weir meets Lana and her
boyfriend Ryan. Oh, she's taken. Damn yeah, damn it shocking.
I know. Well, guys are into that. They were in.
They were in Vegas at the adult Expo where she
turns her head in fishnet, lingerie and fur coat, opens
(10:44):
up her coat and then bang, I'll hit you one
with one. Yeah, that's a Whitman sampler for you sampler. Well,
the concept might sound out of the box outsiders, it does.
For Lana, It's all part of the job. She's a
(11:05):
stripper by trade. No surprises so far in this article.
And about a year ago, she decided to join the
World Only, the World of Only fans and the platform
where performers can sell custom adult content directly to subscribers.
Thanks to her entrepreneurial spirit, she was able to break
(11:26):
wind into a very nice niche kink. Lana and Ryan,
both from Toronto, both Canadian farterers, met in high school
but only started farting three years ago for money, and
they reconnected at a bar. I guess I don't know how.
Maybe they know both blew one at the bar and
(11:47):
they fell in love. Their relationship is open. Still no
surprises in the article, and it was built on humor
and farting, all right. While Ryan often makes cameos in
Lana's content, he's the man behind the farting, And it
(12:07):
says here like, anytime I'm making content, he'll be in
the background just laughing. That's a little distracting, you know.
If I'm paying somebody two hundred dollars to fart, I
don't need the guy laughing in the background.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I bet guys there are people that dig that stuff.
Probably that's the whole humiliation thing. They probably like the
laughing too. Maybe that's possible. Ryan admits he often finds
the process hilarious. He's got a good sense of humor.
Anytime she's making content, I'll be in the background laughing.
It's kind of kind of cool. There's a second layer
(12:43):
of humiliation for her fans because they like that. Another
guy is laughing at them too. Oh you're right, Yeah,
you're right, croach, Yeah I didn't put that together. Lana
reveals her subscribers range from curious newcomers to really effing
weird guy. Long term pay pigs is what she describes him.
(13:06):
That's probably a term for only fans, long term pay pigs.
There's a lot of guys with a lot of money.
They'll throw money at this with the hell sometimes they
just want to be called names. Well, they send me money.
And while fart videos are among her most unusual requests,
they're also far from not the only ones. Some people
(13:28):
are into cream pie videos and want humiliation. Others are
specific kinks. So there you go. I don't know, I
don't know where society ends, but it's close. We're getting there.
We're getting there. Bello, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I've never heard you far, but I think you could
probably you know.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
No, let's focus on Crozier. Let's focus on Crozier a
little bit. Let's it's only there. He takes a few shots.
Angel and I are good for the day.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Eybody wants to hear about guys farting? Those you take
it any money. Only fans by part. I know what
Belly is doing. She is putting up that brick wall
for Saturday.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I start building out early in the week.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
She doesn't want any comments about Hey, are you gonna drunk?
I comes up? Are you doing the only fans? Is
that you or Angel? Where is Angel? She in the bathroom?
Which one are you? Is Angel in the pasthroom putting
videos together? No, she's Krouzier seemed to know a lot
(14:43):
about the humiliation aspect, So I.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Want to go back to that.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, that's true. Well he's a guy. Maybe we can
give it away as a door price. Yeah, just blowing
into someone's face, very discussing.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Can I apologize to I don't know seventy five percent
of our audience that doesn't like it. There might be
twenty five that likes.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
It, but it's closer to fifty to fifty. But yeah,
people leave and just hit him in the face with
one and we'll see you next year. I don't know.
I don't know if I'm coming back next year. Kind
of weird ending Five was this the Rush Limbo station?
This was Rush at one point? Right, what's going on?
They do news? Right, it's kfrt or is this KFC?
(15:31):
Can I get a full helping of Bill Carroll? What
w It's KFI not KFC Christ. But this woman does
make money, So if you like that, go to you
can look around on only fans. Her name is Lana,
Lana the Farder. I imagine it's probably not could be
a lot of that action. But she's making hundreds of
(15:54):
thousands of dollars a year, hundreds of thousands of dollars
and parting on people.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
That's her life.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
It's society is breaking down. Fine, that's what she should
say every time she hit sky in the faith of
the One.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Fine.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I grew up in a family of six, six kids,
so my mom was always looking to cut corners when
it came to making dinner. You know, how can we
put dinner together for six kids without her cooking for
two hours? And around nineteen early seventies they came out,
I think it was early seventies, maybe late sixties. They
(16:51):
came out out of the thing that's getting a resurgence
now in popularity. It's called Hamburger Helper. Did you have
your core. I lived on it. I mean, my mom
just it was everything. Yeah, and then later on they
had chicken helper, tuna helper. We didn't go that direction
with tuna helper. But Krozier, you probably grew up on
(17:12):
Hamburger Helper, did you? Oh my god, your every flavor? Yeah,
we had. We had them all the Salisbury flavor, there
was one, there was like a Mexican flavor, and then
there was another one they had had like pasta Roni flavor.
I know that's a different item, but there was. There
was the Italian cons, yes, there was the Asian cons.
(17:33):
There were there were literally international flavors of Hamburger Helper
and you was really weird. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
The beef had the beef strogan on.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yes, that was the best. We were Swedish. I was
in uh Walmart literally last night with my wife and
I picked up a box of Hamburger Helper and I'm like, man,
I haven't seen this in years. And she grew up
on that too. She also grew up on Reiserne Noodle
Roney all the ronis. When when it was just sid
I after I got divorced and I had said fifty
(18:03):
fifty percent of time. I revisited all of those Hamburger helpers,
so she got very familiar with it as well. I
made noodle roney last night, the parmesan olive oil and garlic,
and I took yeah, exactly, I took two bites and
I threw it away. Not that I hated it, that
I loved it. And I knew that if I ate
(18:24):
that box, my heart was just gonna bulu because it's
all salt. Yeah, there's a lot of salt. God, it
is just a it's a salt delivery system. So you're
saying that there it's making a comeback now or I
think it is. I think it's coming back Hamburger.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Helper indeed, and are open to this one is when
the going gets tough, the tough pile on the Hamburger Helper,
it turns out that emits to uncertain common economic times,
Hamburger helper sales, that meat stretching product that we've seen
be much more popular in tough economic times.
Speaker 6 (18:56):
Well sales are surging.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
How much sales are up for teena and a half
percent for the year through August.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
And it's not just Hamburger Helper.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
We're talking about sales of other foods often kick him
in the throat.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
He sells copy like nobody else do it? You do?
That is, don't you? It's a David stroggan Off is
that the hamburger helpers exactly, And it's not.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
Just hamburger helper.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
We're talking about sales of other foods often associated with
tough times are also Lazareth.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
That's yea, yeah, thank you, he's un channelfied, he's great.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Are also on the rise. For example, rice sales up
seven and a half percent. Sales are rising for cans
of tuna, cans of salmon, Kansas sardines, as well as
beans and mac and cheese.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
You know, they always say that if peanut butter makes
it into a lot of items, the economy is not
going well because peanuts are dirt cheap, and so it's
you know, peanut flavor this and that. But I think
that now it's hamburger helper. When hamburger helper goes up
fourteen percent, that's not good. Oh yeah, that's not good.
Speaker 6 (19:59):
The New York Time time sites experts good.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
For them, but not good for everybody's health.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
The New York Times Sites experts is saying that these
higher sales of such goods, such staples in the kitchen
are a reflection of growing nervousness among consumers amidst economic
uncertainty and rising food costs. And that's a pretty big deal,
because the price of food consumed at home is up
twenty one percent over the last four years. Rising beef
(20:25):
prices are a particular concern. The average cost of ground
beef is up thirteen percent over the last year.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
It hit a record.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Six dollars and sixty three cents a pound just last month.
And while the current trends regarding Hamburger helper and these
other food stretching commodities that's understandable, keep in mind also
they might be contrary to current efforts to try to
get Americans to eat less processed and healthier foods.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, well that's the way to do it. Hamburger helper. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
less process because I think next, I think Hamburger helper
is all natural. Really, I think it is. Yeah, I'd
have to read the box again. Yeah, I don't think
there's any chemicals in. I think it's a natural product.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
For what it's worth, a box of Hamburger Helper, cheeseburger
macaroni contains artificial coloring.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
No, it goes you don't do the research though. It's
like looking behind the scenes. That not very far. Your
macaroni that's yeah, that was a good one.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
Contains artificial coloring.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Represents twenty seven percent of your daily intake of sodium.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
That's not bad.
Speaker 6 (21:32):
Helper get into the breakfast business as well.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Interesting comment you got interesting?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Interesting, interesting, Dravid interesting, artificial color and showdium.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Okay, got it, Thank you, David? Is that Glenn interesting?
You know, you gotta sell interesting. You can't just say it.
You gotta sell it quite interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, you know interesting, that's not interesting, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
All right, we're interesting.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
One of the reasons I didn't want to go into
and do a TikTok thing is I think the kids
need something for their their own right. And I'm talking
anybody under thirty right, because what ruined Facebook for a
lot of people is mom and dad. All of a sudden,
(22:32):
you know, mom likes a photo that you took and
you're like, oh Christ, how do I get out of here?
It's like being at home right. All of a sudden,
Mom and Dad came over. So a lot of people
have been asking, hey, you know, when are you gonna
put something up on TikTok. You're gonna have a dick dagon.
I'm like, you know what, let's leave. Let's if you're
over Mom, I don't know what do you think the
(22:52):
age rain should be. I think if you're over forty
five you should leave it alone. Absolutely, Or maybe it's
maybe it's younger, Maybe it's thirty five.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Younger.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Yeah, yeah, I'm twenty seven. I feel like I'm.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Pushing it, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, okay, maybe thirty five,
Maybe it's twenty five.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
I think, well, thirty five, if you're older than thirty.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Five, I think that's a good no. I think if
you meet a guy in a bar like you're a single, right, yes,
all right, Morgan, if you run into a guy at
a bar, thirty five is not too old for you
to date, right, not at all? So and and he
says he has his own TikTok page. Is that a
turn on or turn off?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Immediate red flat? I'm taking the drink he just bought me,
and I'm walking to.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
The bathroom, right, And I would actually I throw that
drink out and buy yourself, Yeah, one of your own.
You have no no idea what's in them? I would
say twenty five.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Yeah, there's no way if you had if you went out.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
With somebody who's twenty five years old and they had
their own you know, their own groove and like a
couple hundred thousand you know followers on TikTok, that would
be cool.
Speaker 6 (23:53):
That's fine.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Yeah, but at.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Thirty five, there's a stink that goes along with that.
There's yeah, there's a problem. Yeah, I mean, and it's
it's a stink that that like, like, lions can pick
that up. You know, when lions are hunting in Africa,
they have an exceptional sense of smell and they use
that to track down the most nervous zebra. Because the
(24:16):
most nervous zebra in Africa has a little giddy up
in his in his hind leg right, he can't run
as fast as the other zebras. He's in pain every
day when he wakes up and he starts to sweat
and flop sweat, and his stink comes off that guy
because he's not a fast zebra, right, And so the
lions can smell the slow zebra because he's sweating his
(24:38):
ass off. He knows it's just about you know, it's
just another couple of days, another couple of weeks until
he gets worked. Well, guys who are thirty five with
their own TikTok page has a little scared zebra thing
going on there, right, Lions can smell that, and you
don't want to get involved. Like when I see older guys,
(25:02):
even Hollywood actors who are in their fifties or sixties,
and they have their own TikTok page, I'm like, is
there nothing? I mean, you're so into yourself that you
have to have a TikTok page. It's crazy, but I
think I think it's right. I think it's twenty five
is the ceiling?
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Yeare?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And don't ruin it for these kids. We've ruined everything
for them. Everything we've ruined, the city, we've ruined, the state,
We've ruined and name it. You know, everything has been
destroyed by older people. Leave them alone and let them
have TikTok. You can look at it. There's some funny
stuff up there. I think maybe with the exception of comedians,
(25:40):
you know, because there are very few comedians under twenty
five that are hysterical because they don't have an they
don't have enough experience to be funny. Like it's like
when I know, we gotta take a break. Like my
daughter was born and her second night alive on planet Earth,
right her second night as a human being completely detached
from her mom, eating on her own, sleeping on her own,
(26:02):
breathing on her own. She screams in the middle of
the night on her second night. And I said to
my wife, I go, what's going on? And she was, Oh,
she must be having a nightmare. I said, about what
something she saw yesterday. She's been alive for two days.
Her nightmare can only be about something she saw in
the last thirty six hours. Anyway, TikTok. Please let's leave
(26:28):
it for the kids, all right. I know it's tempting
to get your own page, you get Joe followers and
the whole run and sell your whatever you your wares are,
but it's not yours. KFI AM six forty Conway Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always
hear us live on KFI AM six forty four to
seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on
(26:51):
the iHeartRadio app,
It's k IF. I am six forty and you're listening
to The Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
I had lunch today with the program director here, Brian Long.
Oh yeah, what do you have to say? I just said, look,
you're you know, the show sucks. You got to pick
(00:22):
it up. And I said, really, yeah, no one, I
don't know what to do. I just started crying and
then he said I'm sorry and he split. So he said,
you're a big star. We're lucky to have you. Maybe
I should have lunch with you. No, it was great.
We had a lot of lass, a lot of fun.
He's a normal, you know guy. Yeah, you know you
can you don't have to watch you know, yeah, everything,
(00:45):
which is nice. But he told me about this place
called Look, and I'm really embarrassed that I grew up
in San Fernando Valley, born and raised, and I know
all the best pizza places, I know the best burger places.
I know the valley like the back of my hand.
And he said, have you ever been to Casa Bianca's
Pizza Pie? And I said, I've never heard of it,
(01:07):
and he almost fell off his chair. He said, it's
the best Pizza in La It's right off the one
thirty four in Eagle Rock before you get into Pasadena
if you're coming from the San Fernando Valley, and by
looking at the reviews here, it has thousands of reviews
four point six out of five stars. I bet there
(01:29):
are people who are listening to the show who've been
going there for decades and are shocked that I've never
heard of this place. Have you have you heard of it? No?
I haven't. Crozier you get out? Have you heard of it?
Cosa Biancas?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
What about you? Sammy? Have you heard of it?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
One? I loved man? Man? How did we all pass
this day?
Speaker 4 (01:51):
I have actually been there once?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
How was it?
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It was delicious? He's right, I totally forgot about.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
When did you go?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
It's been a few years. It's when I was living.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
In must have really enjoyed it?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Uh well, yes, yeah I did. It was delicious.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Cash only? Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah you said cash only. Yeah,
so you gotta bring cash or I don't know, check
or something or no, just cash? Thanks? Check? Oh yeah, really,
I'm sure they love getting checks. But it's a little
place that's been around probably forever. I'm gonna ask if
it was a franchise and that I saw the cash
(02:26):
only I'm going but not. Let's see, all right, the
history of the place, because I'm really embarrassed that I've
never been there. But it's supposed to be great. It's
been there for fifty years in Eagle Rock, and it
says here, this year is our this is the occasion.
(02:47):
This year we're celebrating fifty years one of Eagle Rock's
best restaurants. It's fifty years old. Even the possibility of
this happening would probably not have occurred to Sam and
Janine Maratona Mara Torma. I'm probably booting that name. When
they opened Cosa Bianca with Sam's brother in nineteen fifty five,
(03:12):
that would be eighty so it's not fifty seventy. Yeah,
it's old seventieth birthday and yeah, established in nineteen fifty five.
But if you go to the history on their website,
their history starts from an article that was in the
(03:32):
newspapers in two thousand and five. So that's what I
love about this place. They're concentrating on their pizza, not
on their website, but it looks great. I might go
there tonight. I don't know what they let's see what
the hours are. So good, God, it does look great.
Pizza pie old school. They got like big meatballs. Okay,
(03:55):
so seriously we're talking enough. I'll buy if someone goes
and goes at nine oh wow, okay, so we got
to get there quickly after we're done here. Takeout ends
at ten Tuesday, Tuesday, Thursday. It says, yeah, four to
ten pm Friday and Saturday, four pm midnight closed. Oh
this is really good. Closed Sunday and Monday. That means
(04:17):
they're a real restaurant, you know, where they clean the
place up. I don't like a place that's open twenty
four hours a day, seven days a week. That's when
the cockroaches slide in. But this place closes for two
days Sunday and Monday. Cosa bianca I've never heard of
in my life. And I'm in that area all the time.
(04:38):
You know, that Eagle Rock area. Yeah, you know, if
you've got a relative or a friend who's down on
his luck and he's using one of those forty two
dollars motels in that area, Oh sure, Yeah, that's where
you live. That's where you are. Yeah, that's where you are,
when Family Members. Did you do a show on Fox
when family Members Go Bad? No?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I did when Good Times Go Bad? When two, three, four, five,
and six Good Pets Go Bad? One, two, two, four, five,
six and seven. They didn't do in Good family Members
Go Bad? How did good is good people go bad?
I know good pets go bad and good times.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Go times go bad? Members? What are what are some
of the times that went bad? You know?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Like uh, fairness right now, Fairfield, California. It was a
state fair like any other state fair. People gathered together
for years here and never had any incidents. But today
it would be something different. That kind of thing that
guy falls off the h Ferris wheel is a family.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
But today exactly, and then show the video of the
guy falling off.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Huh oh yeah, it was pretty Yeah, the screams of
terror ring through the entire crowd.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Why'd they stop doing it? It seems like they did.
They didn't. They did seven of them, but it seems
like the early Funniest Home videos. Yeah, it was, of course.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Uh, Funniest Home Videos was on at the time.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I mean, you know, on Sunday nights.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Uh, this is more kind of a more chilling experience
to see it was on in prime time during the week, so.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
You and I like. I like South American Funniest Home
Videos because you know, because they cut here right before
the kid loses an eye. Oh I see, you know
they stop the tape. But in other countries, that's just
the that's the first court, that's just the curtain opening. Yeah,
that's yeah, that's the palate cleanser. You know. What happens
(06:30):
is that the internet happened, So all those little quick
little bites, they all went on the internet, so you
can go watch it anytime you want. Essentially, that's what
happened to those shows. I loved that Funniest Home Videos, man,
I would watch that every single week, but I would
fast forward through the dumb videos. I just like the setups. Yeah,
that's always the best part of that press And who
was the announcer around home videos? That's right?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, the funniers videosen yours, DAVC Funny's dumb videos.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, vote for you know, guy's pet getting hit by lightning,
talking Pokey.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Getting hit in the kids baseball, monkey driving through car wash.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Fake video of the kid getting into college. Vote now
that was classic, man, That Funniest Home Videos, it's It's
still around, isn't it. They're still on. They still are.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
They went through a couple of hosts though, oh.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah they have who is Saga was the original?
And then they I want to say, they hear Tom
of course bern and then Daisy Fuentis and like, you.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Know, my daughter was very young when that Tom Bergeron
was on and she heard that, like when she was two,
and she walked around the house for a couple of
weeks going and now Tom Bergeron, now Tom Bergeron. It's
like one of the first things she could actually pretty great,
you know, a mimic or not. I man, sure that
(08:03):
to him if you ever made him. Yeah, it was great.
I enjoyed that. Have funny song videos.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
I got my new favorite thing to is to go
on to only fans and pay really hot women to
fart in their pants.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Jesus man, it's disgusting, but that's do they wave their
hand behind you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
They walk around, Yeah, they want I don't think no,
not not yet. I mean I could ask them to
do that, but they don't really do that.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Coss extra.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
But there's a woman that does this. She's in only fans.
She makes two hundred dollars per video selling her farting.
When most people think of outside hustles, they don't think
of farting on video. They picture, you know, selling vintage
clothing or ride share or crafting, or selling something on
(09:00):
you know, Etsy or Amazon. But for this twenty three
year old Avalon saff Saph known for her to her
fans as Lana, her most lucrative gig comes from something
less conventional, selling videos of herself farting. How about that quote,
I've been paid two hundred bucks to send a guy
(09:23):
in Burbank.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Really in Burbank. Wow, something size weird?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Something up there of her farting on camera? Yeah? She
It says, no smell, nothing weird, just audible farting. Well,
I don't know if you can say nothing weird.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
I got a question about that.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I knew it. I knew it. Angel, you should get
in on this. I've been around you.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Does she show her face?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yes? Oh yeah, no mask? No? Is that a deal
breaker for you?
Speaker 6 (09:57):
Well?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
I could put make sure of Bello, that's the line.
I could put a picture of Bellio in front of
my face.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
And expect a letter from sweet James at two hundred
bucks a fart. I mean, you know, Angel, you blew
like a thousand dollars last time I saw you.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I know, I know, and and you know I could
have cash.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
That's right. But in uh. In episode two of the
podcast Hope Hope, host James Weir meets Lana and her
boyfriend Ryan. Oh, she's taken. Damn yeah, damn it shocking.
I know. Well, guys are into that. They were in.
They were in Vegas at the adult Expo where she
turns her head in fishnet, lingerie and fur coat, opens
(10:44):
up her coat and then bang, I'll hit you one
with one. Yeah, that's a Whitman sampler for you sampler. Well,
the concept might sound out of the box outsiders, it does.
For Lana, It's all part of the job. She's a
(11:05):
stripper by trade. No surprises so far in this article.
And about a year ago, she decided to join the
World Only, the World of Only fans and the platform
where performers can sell custom adult content directly to subscribers.
Thanks to her entrepreneurial spirit, she was able to break
(11:26):
wind into a very nice niche kink. Lana and Ryan,
both from Toronto, both Canadian farterers, met in high school
but only started farting three years ago for money, and
they reconnected at a bar. I guess I don't know how.
Maybe they know both blew one at the bar and
(11:47):
they fell in love. Their relationship is open. Still no
surprises in the article, and it was built on humor
and farting, all right. While Ryan often makes cameos in
Lana's content, he's the man behind the farting, And it
(12:07):
says here like, anytime I'm making content, he'll be in
the background just laughing. That's a little distracting, you know.
If I'm paying somebody two hundred dollars to fart, I
don't need the guy laughing in the background.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I bet guys there are people that dig that stuff.
Probably that's the whole humiliation thing. They probably like the
laughing too. Maybe that's possible. Ryan admits he often finds
the process hilarious. He's got a good sense of humor.
Anytime she's making content, I'll be in the background laughing.
It's kind of kind of cool. There's a second layer
(12:43):
of humiliation for her fans because they like that. Another
guy is laughing at them too. Oh you're right, Yeah,
you're right, croach, Yeah I didn't put that together. Lana
reveals her subscribers range from curious newcomers to really effing
weird guy. Long term pay pigs is what she describes him.
(13:06):
That's probably a term for only fans, long term pay pigs.
There's a lot of guys with a lot of money.
They'll throw money at this with the hell sometimes they
just want to be called names. Well, they send me money.
And while fart videos are among her most unusual requests,
they're also far from not the only ones. Some people
(13:28):
are into cream pie videos and want humiliation. Others are
specific kinks. So there you go. I don't know, I
don't know where society ends, but it's close. We're getting there.
We're getting there. Bello, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I've never heard you far, but I think you could
probably you know.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
No, let's focus on Crozier. Let's focus on Crozier a
little bit. Let's it's only there. He takes a few shots.
Angel and I are good for the day.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Eybody wants to hear about guys farting? Those you take
it any money. Only fans by part. I know what
Belly is doing. She is putting up that brick wall
for Saturday.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I start building out early in the week.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
She doesn't want any comments about Hey, are you gonna drunk?
I comes up? Are you doing the only fans? Is
that you or Angel? Where is Angel? She in the bathroom?
Which one are you? Is Angel in the pasthroom putting
videos together? No, she's Krouzier seemed to know a lot
(14:43):
about the humiliation aspect, So I.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Want to go back to that.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, that's true. Well he's a guy. Maybe we can
give it away as a door price. Yeah, just blowing
into someone's face, very discussing.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Can I apologize to I don't know seventy five percent
of our audience that doesn't like it. There might be
twenty five that likes.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
It, but it's closer to fifty to fifty. But yeah,
people leave and just hit him in the face with
one and we'll see you next year. I don't know.
I don't know if I'm coming back next year. Kind
of weird ending Five was this the Rush Limbo station?
This was Rush at one point? Right, what's going on?
They do news? Right, it's kfrt or is this KFC?
(15:31):
Can I get a full helping of Bill Carroll? What
w It's KFI not KFC Christ. But this woman does
make money, So if you like that, go to you
can look around on only fans. Her name is Lana,
Lana the Farder. I imagine it's probably not could be
a lot of that action. But she's making hundreds of
(15:54):
thousands of dollars a year, hundreds of thousands of dollars
and parting on people.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
That's her life.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
It's society is breaking down. Fine, that's what she should
say every time she hit sky in the faith of
the One.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Fine.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I grew up in a family of six, six kids,
so my mom was always looking to cut corners when
it came to making dinner. You know, how can we
put dinner together for six kids without her cooking for
two hours? And around nineteen early seventies they came out,
I think it was early seventies, maybe late sixties. They
(16:51):
came out out of the thing that's getting a resurgence
now in popularity. It's called Hamburger Helper. Did you have
your core. I lived on it. I mean, my mom
just it was everything. Yeah, and then later on they
had chicken helper, tuna helper. We didn't go that direction
with tuna helper. But Krozier, you probably grew up on
(17:12):
Hamburger Helper, did you? Oh my god, your every flavor? Yeah,
we had. We had them all the Salisbury flavor, there
was one, there was like a Mexican flavor, and then
there was another one they had had like pasta Roni flavor.
I know that's a different item, but there was. There
was the Italian cons, yes, there was the Asian cons.
(17:33):
There were there were literally international flavors of Hamburger Helper
and you was really weird. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
The beef had the beef strogan on.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yes, that was the best. We were Swedish. I was
in uh Walmart literally last night with my wife and
I picked up a box of Hamburger Helper and I'm like, man,
I haven't seen this in years. And she grew up
on that too. She also grew up on Reiserne Noodle
Roney all the ronis. When when it was just sid
I after I got divorced and I had said fifty
(18:03):
fifty percent of time. I revisited all of those Hamburger helpers,
so she got very familiar with it as well. I
made noodle roney last night, the parmesan olive oil and garlic,
and I took yeah, exactly, I took two bites and
I threw it away. Not that I hated it, that
I loved it. And I knew that if I ate
(18:24):
that box, my heart was just gonna bulu because it's
all salt. Yeah, there's a lot of salt. God, it
is just a it's a salt delivery system. So you're
saying that there it's making a comeback now or I
think it is. I think it's coming back Hamburger.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Helper indeed, and are open to this one is when
the going gets tough, the tough pile on the Hamburger Helper,
it turns out that emits to uncertain common economic times,
Hamburger helper sales, that meat stretching product that we've seen
be much more popular in tough economic times.
Speaker 6 (18:56):
Well sales are surging.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
How much sales are up for teena and a half
percent for the year through August.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
And it's not just Hamburger Helper.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
We're talking about sales of other foods often kick him
in the throat.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
He sells copy like nobody else do it? You do?
That is, don't you? It's a David stroggan Off is
that the hamburger helpers exactly, And it's not.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
Just hamburger helper.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
We're talking about sales of other foods often associated with
tough times are also Lazareth.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
That's yea, yeah, thank you, he's un channelfied, he's great.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Are also on the rise. For example, rice sales up
seven and a half percent. Sales are rising for cans
of tuna, cans of salmon, Kansas sardines, as well as
beans and mac and cheese.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
You know, they always say that if peanut butter makes
it into a lot of items, the economy is not
going well because peanuts are dirt cheap, and so it's
you know, peanut flavor this and that. But I think
that now it's hamburger helper. When hamburger helper goes up
fourteen percent, that's not good. Oh yeah, that's not good.
Speaker 6 (19:59):
The New York Time time sites experts good.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
For them, but not good for everybody's health.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
The New York Times Sites experts is saying that these
higher sales of such goods, such staples in the kitchen
are a reflection of growing nervousness among consumers amidst economic
uncertainty and rising food costs. And that's a pretty big deal,
because the price of food consumed at home is up
twenty one percent over the last four years. Rising beef
(20:25):
prices are a particular concern. The average cost of ground
beef is up thirteen percent over the last year.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
It hit a record.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Six dollars and sixty three cents a pound just last month.
And while the current trends regarding Hamburger helper and these
other food stretching commodities that's understandable, keep in mind also
they might be contrary to current efforts to try to
get Americans to eat less processed and healthier foods.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, well that's the way to do it. Hamburger helper. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
less process because I think next, I think Hamburger helper
is all natural. Really, I think it is. Yeah, I'd
have to read the box again. Yeah, I don't think
there's any chemicals in. I think it's a natural product.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
For what it's worth, a box of Hamburger Helper, cheeseburger
macaroni contains artificial coloring.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
No, it goes you don't do the research though. It's
like looking behind the scenes. That not very far. Your
macaroni that's yeah, that was a good one.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
Contains artificial coloring.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Represents twenty seven percent of your daily intake of sodium.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
That's not bad.
Speaker 6 (21:32):
Helper get into the breakfast business as well.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Interesting comment you got interesting?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Interesting, interesting, Dravid interesting, artificial color and showdium.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Okay, got it, Thank you, David? Is that Glenn interesting?
You know, you gotta sell interesting. You can't just say it.
You gotta sell it quite interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, you know interesting, that's not interesting, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
All right, we're interesting.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
One of the reasons I didn't want to go into
and do a TikTok thing is I think the kids
need something for their their own right. And I'm talking
anybody under thirty right, because what ruined Facebook for a
lot of people is mom and dad. All of a sudden,
(22:32):
you know, mom likes a photo that you took and
you're like, oh Christ, how do I get out of here?
It's like being at home right. All of a sudden,
Mom and Dad came over. So a lot of people
have been asking, hey, you know, when are you gonna
put something up on TikTok. You're gonna have a dick dagon.
I'm like, you know what, let's leave. Let's if you're
over Mom, I don't know what do you think the
(22:52):
age rain should be. I think if you're over forty
five you should leave it alone. Absolutely, Or maybe it's
maybe it's younger, Maybe it's thirty five.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Younger.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Yeah, yeah, I'm twenty seven. I feel like I'm.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Pushing it, is that right? Yeah? Yeah, okay, maybe thirty five,
Maybe it's twenty five.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
I think, well, thirty five, if you're older than thirty.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Five, I think that's a good no. I think if
you meet a guy in a bar like you're a single, right, yes,
all right, Morgan, if you run into a guy at
a bar, thirty five is not too old for you
to date, right, not at all? So and and he
says he has his own TikTok page. Is that a
turn on or turn off?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Immediate red flat? I'm taking the drink he just bought me,
and I'm walking to.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
The bathroom, right, And I would actually I throw that
drink out and buy yourself, Yeah, one of your own.
You have no no idea what's in them? I would
say twenty five.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Yeah, there's no way if you had if you went out.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
With somebody who's twenty five years old and they had
their own you know, their own groove and like a
couple hundred thousand you know followers on TikTok, that would
be cool.
Speaker 6 (23:53):
That's fine.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Yeah, but at.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Thirty five, there's a stink that goes along with that.
There's yeah, there's a problem. Yeah, I mean, and it's
it's a stink that that like, like, lions can pick
that up. You know, when lions are hunting in Africa,
they have an exceptional sense of smell and they use
that to track down the most nervous zebra. Because the
(24:16):
most nervous zebra in Africa has a little giddy up
in his in his hind leg right, he can't run
as fast as the other zebras. He's in pain every
day when he wakes up and he starts to sweat
and flop sweat, and his stink comes off that guy
because he's not a fast zebra, right, And so the
lions can smell the slow zebra because he's sweating his
(24:38):
ass off. He knows it's just about you know, it's
just another couple of days, another couple of weeks until
he gets worked. Well, guys who are thirty five with
their own TikTok page has a little scared zebra thing
going on there, right, Lions can smell that, and you
don't want to get involved. Like when I see older guys,
(25:02):
even Hollywood actors who are in their fifties or sixties,
and they have their own TikTok page, I'm like, is
there nothing? I mean, you're so into yourself that you
have to have a TikTok page. It's crazy, but I
think I think it's right. I think it's twenty five
is the ceiling?
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Yeare?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And don't ruin it for these kids. We've ruined everything
for them. Everything we've ruined, the city, we've ruined, the state,
We've ruined and name it. You know, everything has been
destroyed by older people. Leave them alone and let them
have TikTok. You can look at it. There's some funny
stuff up there. I think maybe with the exception of comedians,
(25:40):
you know, because there are very few comedians under twenty
five that are hysterical because they don't have an they
don't have enough experience to be funny. Like it's like
when I know, we gotta take a break. Like my
daughter was born and her second night alive on planet Earth,
right her second night as a human being completely detached
from her mom, eating on her own, sleeping on her own,
(26:02):
breathing on her own. She screams in the middle of
the night on her second night. And I said to
my wife, I go, what's going on? And she was, Oh,
she must be having a nightmare. I said, about what
something she saw yesterday. She's been alive for two days.
Her nightmare can only be about something she saw in
the last thirty six hours. Anyway, TikTok. Please let's leave
(26:28):
it for the kids, all right. I know it's tempting
to get your own page, you get Joe followers and
the whole run and sell your whatever you your wares are,
but it's not yours. KFI AM six forty Conway Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always
hear us live on KFI AM six forty four to
seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on
(26:51):
the iHeartRadio app,
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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