September 5, 2025 ⢠36 mins
Every laugh, every sharp take, every memorable guest appearanceâthis bonus track set is pure Conway gold from start to finish.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's k IF.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am six forty and you're listening to the Conway
Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. This is what
I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
What are some of the lessons you've learned from your father?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Well, one was on the way here today. Not to
obsess over your son's cheap sweater tags. This is a question.
My dad was being interviewed for a magazine called Lifestyle.
I think, yeah, lifestyle magazine Lifestyle dot org. And at
the end of the interview he was on doing the
(00:32):
interview on videotape for like two hours at the m
they said, hey, can we put you Can we mike
you up and ask you a question about your dad?
And I said, sure, right. I didn't want to do
it because I didn't want to say anything, you know,
I wanted to keep it positive. It's a religious magazine.
They want, you know, no swearing, no off colored stories,
(00:55):
just make it simple and keep it, you know, clean.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
This is one of those fascinating things that I think
about with you specifically because you know, having having your
dad being your dad, Because I think most people at
some point have have conversations with people that go, hey,
what's something that you got from here. You know, it's
a regular sort of common question, right, but with you,
it's like your dad is your dad, So you got
to just be always on guard with that answer because
(01:20):
you never know.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Right, I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
It's like, I'm completely free and open with my dad.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Right now, yeah, and I can't be I can never
say it gave.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Me a hit a pot when he was.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
When I was, my dad caught me, you know, smoking
weed and took a hit, which is not true. And
you know, my dad was the biggest anti drug guy
in the world. Yeah, you know, he found two of
my brothers smoking weed and sent him to rehab where
they had to leave the state or leave the city
over weed. Right, they were both smoking weed. You know,
one was sixteen, I think the other one was fourteen,
(01:52):
and they left the home. You know, they left the
home for a month. Wow, and they are two months
three months? You know?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Was that eighties.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Early eighties, mid eighties, like eighty three, eighty four. Anyway,
So this is the question they asked my dad. I
didn't know the question was coming up, but it's a
true story and one of the few life's lessons my
dad did teach me. Here all right, here it is
all right, played the whole thing uninterrupted.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
What are some of the lessons you've learned from your father?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, I think you know life's lessons. I remember when
I was very I was young, I was probably in
high school, and a girl I was going out with
left a note on my windshield saying I'm out, you
know of the relationship, which is nice. That was really
yeah good, but actually that now, that's the way I've
broken up with the very easy to do a note
(02:47):
on the windshield unlesson brains your gold. But and I
remember saying to my dad, I said, hey, you know,
I was really depressed, and he said, never never pursue
anybody who doesn't want to hang out with you. I thought,
that's pretty cool, that is good, and uh, and I
showed her. I showed him a picture of her, and
he said, try to get back together with.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
That.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Pretty good.
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Yeah, that's pretty solid. You haven't right to change your
mind time.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
Man.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But my dad is so quick. He didn't know I
was going to say that. And instead of saying, oh,
that's not true or I don't remember that, his his
funny response was, well, you know you're gonna lay heavy,
you know heavy lessons on your kid. You have the
right to do the exact opposite once in a while
if you want. And that's exactly what he did there
at the end, a hard and fast right exactly at
(03:41):
the end. He's like, you know what, he was so quick,
even like up till the end when he was starting
to get sick. My dad was so quick with responses
here and and I showed her. I showed him a
picture of her, and he said, try to get back
together with pretty good.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Yeah, that's pretty solid. You haven't right to change your mind.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And it just makes us both out to be superficial idiots,
you know, Like this girl broke up with me by
putting a note on my win.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
Shit.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
I don't think a single person thinks that. I think
everybody hears that and just finds it incredibly endearing.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And I show him a picture of her, and he's like, Wow,
you're never gonna be You're never gonna get anything like
that again. You gotta get you gotta try to get
back together with your dead girl.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
A happy meal is something you need to get back
in her good grases.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Although my dad did. My dad never commented on any
of the girls I ever dated, which weren't that many, right,
But he did once say to me I was dating
a girl. And he once pulled me aside and he goes, hey,
he goes, your girlfriend has the same smile and the
same disposition as your mom. And I'm like, what the
(04:59):
last thing every want to hear? I said, I really
like her, and he goes, he goes, trust me, he goes,
I would never say anything, but this girl is not
good for you. And and I'm like really, And he said, look,
I know this smile, I know the personality I married it.
It's not going for you. It's not going to go
(05:21):
good for you.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Shees ain't gonna fit you.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And I'm like wow. And like a month later, she
broke up with me, and and I don't know, you know,
I didn't see her again, and and it was it
was sort of odd. But he was right. She was,
you know, she was going. She was she had a
different outlook on life, yeah, than I did.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
My dad.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
He would because I would work for him over the
summers when you know, as a teenager in high school
and stuff, because he did construction, so I was always
labor and I was always at the construction sites of
the summer and with one girlfriend I had like my
senior year, right before my senior in high school, and
he apparently he thought she was an attractive girl because
he was just like.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Hey, Crow, show these girls.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What show these guys what your girl looks like.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I'm like, dad, really, He's like, look at this.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
That's great. Wait did your dad used to call you crow?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Oh that's awesome, dude. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Wasn't call me turkey or zero.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, he called me crow. Dude.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
That's great. Yeah, he's calling you the first three letters
of his last name. That's awesome.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I was almost his I was almost the third. Marshall
Allen Krozer.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
The third.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Oh wow, yeah, one of my can't I can never
remember which I guess I have to ask my mom.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
One of them wanted me to be Marshall Allen Crozer
said no, it was my my mom wanted to. My
dad said absolutely not, he will not be Marshall Allen Krozer.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
The third. Wow, So she made it Michael Allen Krusch.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I we got to take a break real quickly. I
discovered it after when I was like ten years old,
that my mom had a brother who died shortly after birth.
And I'm like, oh, that's horrible. I mean, I have
an uncle that I've never met, and she'd yeah, so
what was his name? And she goes, I'm Tim, and
I'm like, wait a minute, I'm named after your your
(07:03):
dead brother.
Speaker 8 (07:04):
And she's likeah, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on
demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Got some sad news in Hollywood. A guy named Ken
Craigan died. He was huge. He's one of the big
movers and shakers in the music business. He organized We
Are the World and Hands across America. He's eighty five
years old. Really decent guy, very charitable man. He died
(07:35):
Tuesday of natural causes in his Brentwood home, according to
a family spokesperson, Craigan managed the careers of Kenny Rogers,
Lionel Ritchie, the Beg's, Olivia Newton, John Burt Reynolds, the
Smothers Brothers, Tricia Yearwood Man, Oh ma'am okayet everybody. In
(07:57):
eighty five after receiving call from Harry Belafonte, Craig was
instrumental in rounding up the talent, including Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen,
Cindy Lauper, Tim Conway, Junior, Richie and Rogers all appeared
and went backstage for the We Are of the World,
and he brought in Quincy Jones to produce the music,
(08:17):
and the project raised and estimated sixty four million dollars
for poverty and that was that was nineteen eighty five dollars,
So that's probably today equivalent today maybe I don't know,
probably one hundred million dollars. So he also put together
Hands across America. Anybody was an even fault of that.
(08:37):
Did you do that, Krozier or Angel or Belli O
Hands across America? I guess all across America. Everybody held
hands and stretched across the entire country. Huh.
Speaker 9 (08:47):
Oh, well I did something like that, but I thought
it was for a beach cleanup or something.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Oh hands across what the Huntington Beach.
Speaker 9 (08:57):
Yeah, I remember to reach some kind of a handholding
thing and people were doing it all down the beach
and it was supposed to like happen around the world.
Speaker 10 (09:04):
So maybe that was part of its.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Kind of cool. Yeah, but let me see if I
can name every one of these singers, because I was
there when they did this. USA for Africa. Right, I
drove Michael Jackson. I drove Lionel Richie. I'm you know,
a couple of big celebrities. But let's see if I
can name, because again I'm not that great with celebrities.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
There comes a time.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Alright, that's Lionel Ritchie, when we.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Heat a certain when the world must come together.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
With Stevie Wonder, Steve Damn. That's Stevie Wonder, Paul Simon
right to.
Speaker 7 (09:50):
The great Scamp, Kenny Rogers.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
That's Kenny Rogers. Right, Yeah, we can't go.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, they do the transept, that's right.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
James ing broke body after case a song, so make change.
We are Tina Turner.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
God's pretty big family.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Billy Joel Soweet. You'll know this next one, Michael Jackson,
it's not that talk show host the singer. Yeah, there's
a joy swiming Diana Ross all in one room.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
It's true. We make a bit of just shoo me, send.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Him your heart, hey, Dionne Warwick, Bresent Tim coma junior guest.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Thing wrong with that Willie Nelson, short haired Willie Nelson.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's gone shown up turn into one of my favorites
right here.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And Alt.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Fantastic.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, he's try the ball.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
My goodness, we are children.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Knock it out, make broad and dad.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Kenny Loggin. That's Steve Perry. I didn't know he was there.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
We do we make a better? Dyl Oats was somewhere around.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Will you turn out for the return stop?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Lewis the lonesome Kim farn Is that her?
Speaker 7 (12:09):
Yeah, yeah, one of your sisters.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I thought everybody had a camp up a line.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I guess not.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Anyway, the guy that did this just passed away. The
guy that what directed it produced it. Kenny pray again,
prom Dylan, listen, make.
Speaker 8 (13:01):
You me.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I think they end with Ray Charles, and.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
It sounds like he literally walked in the room right
when he started singing.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But there are a lot of people there that didn't
have a.
Speaker 11 (13:18):
Line, and you were sleeping in the limo right.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, I'll be yeah, this is Ray Charles. Well, you know,
(13:43):
there were a lot of people there that didn't get
a line.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
I would argue any of them should have replaced Kim Carnes.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Dan Ackroyd was there, Oh yeah, that's right, Harry Belafont thing.
Who else was there? Sheila remember her?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I think more of the Jackson brothers were there.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, Jackie Jackson was there, LaToya Jackie, Marlon, Randy Tito.
I think there. I don't. I don't think she was
not really, she didn't get along with one of them.
There was a Jackson feud going on. Wayland Jennings was there,
and Bette Midler. Who else was there at that point?
You're right there?
Speaker 12 (14:17):
Are there?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Are the Pointer sisters in there?
Speaker 7 (14:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
And Smokey Robinson as well? Oh yeah, Phil Collins? Wait
what he was doing the percussion of the drums he was,
Are there.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Any I'm trying to think. Am I missing somebody? Obvious?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Were there any other people non American there?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't think so. Just dan Aykroyd.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
A cheap shot at dan Ackron. Bill Gibson was there.
Who Bill Gibson?
Speaker 1 (14:51):
They said, Mill.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
That was kind of a cool night, dude. But I
was exhausted, so I was sleeping in the limma. I
mean I was in there for a while and I
s bored me because he goes sleep at them nineteen
eighty five, man, I had twenty three.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I've seen some of those, some of the outtakes, like
when they're working through parts that are just so fascinating
to me. Like I've seen YouTube videos where that part
where Cindy Lauper and Huey lewis where they kind of
overlap each other, and it was so fascinating to see
how they work it out where she goes down, she
goes up, and they're like, no, try it this way.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I love stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, they didn't rehearse at all until they went and
did it that night, and they and they shot it
all night. They got there like at eleven at night
and didn't leave till like six or seven in the morning.
Speaker 7 (15:35):
That that does.
Speaker 11 (15:37):
Did you get a good night's rest?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I did?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
We rested and refreshed me.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
They gave me an autographed shirt. Did they a sweatshirt?
There was autogra where is that? I probably wore it out,
burned it out. That just didn't impress me that kind
of stuff.
Speaker 8 (15:53):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I'm not that hip on who celebrities are, right, I've
just never been into it. I don't watch a little
a lot of entertainment Tonight or TMZ, and I don't
know a lot of them, so I'm in Las Vegas
with a couple of friends. It's thirty years ago, and
there's one two one two three four one two three four. Yeah,
(16:20):
there are four pictures of the people that were involved
with the startup of a place called Planet Hollywood. They
have restaurants, a lot of stars, and they have they
had a hotel in Vegas. I don't know if it's
still there or not. And they had four statues of
these people outside and my buddy Jeff Warnick, God rest
(16:45):
his soul, not here anymore. I missed that guy every day,
one of the smartest, funniest guys I've ever met my life.
And he said, I'm going to give you a one
hundred dollars for every one of these celebrities that you know,
and I'm gonna take one hundred dollars away for everyone
you don't know. And I said, oh boy, this could
cost me four hundred dollars. So we walk over the
(17:08):
statues and I said, okay, that one is Arnold Schwarzenegger
and he gives me a hundred dollars bill and I
said that not. The other one is Sylvester Stallone and
he gives me another hundred dollars Bill, so I'm at
least even And then he shows me the other one
and he and he says, who's that? And I said,
(17:32):
I have no idea who that is? And he said, Tim,
you drove him in a limousine, a very popular celebrity,
and you've driven him, you know, you've driven him at
least five times. And when you drove a limousine, you
picked him up and took him to the airport. I said,
(17:52):
where does he live? He goes, he lives up in
the up in the hills, like either like Hollywood or no,
I'm sorry, Beverly Hills, or like West Los Angeles. And
I said, I have no idea who that is. And
he says, okay, that's Bruce Willis. And he takes one
hundred dollars away from me and he says and he says,
(18:13):
there's one more. It's a woman. And I said, I
don't know. He said, you've talked about her on the radio,
and you one of your favorite movies. This this woman
is the star of that movie. And I'm like, I
(18:35):
just don't know who that is. And he said, I'll
even give you the name of the movie. And I said,
what's the name of the movie, and he said, I
think he said like terms of endearment, and I said,
I still don't know. And it was Demi Moore and
he took the other one hundred dollars bill. And I
(18:56):
don't know if she was in that movie or not,
or if he was just f with me. But he
said he couldn't believe All weekend, he kept saying, how
the hell do you pick this guy up in that limousine?
Five times in the last two years you talked to
him on the way to the airport, and you never
ever and you couldn't pick out his name, right. I said,
I'm just I'm just not into how he goes. You
(19:18):
don't have to be into Hollywood to know this stuff.
You're mentally declining, that's what's going on. This has nothing
to do with entertainment Tonight and TMZ and you know
and and all these other celebrity shows. H This is
this is a problem that you have. I said, well,
maybe the statue doesn't look like you know, Bruce Willis.
So he stopped people that came by and he covered
(19:42):
up in the name of you standing member, you're standing
on the on the name and twenty people walk by, Hey,
who's that? Oh, Bruce Willis. Who's this Bruce Willis?
Speaker 6 (19:48):
Hey, who's that?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Before he could before he could finish a question, Hey,
who's Bruce Willis. It's Bruce Willis, Bruce Willis. That's Bruce Willis.
Bruce Willis right there in w WA, Bruce Willison w ware.
And weren't they married for a while? Yes, I think
at the time there were still Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's another point he brought up, that they
were married, and I should have gotten that too, and
I didn't. But you know what, But the reason why
(20:10):
I don't, and let me defend myself here. When I
go to a movie, I don't want to know the
actors' names. I just want to for the two hours
i'm there, I want to be transported into a into
a place where I've never been before, and I don't
know anybody. Like I went to see that Saving Private Ryan,
and I'm in the movie. About an hour and a
half into the movie, I look up and I said,
(20:31):
and I said, it was Jenner. Whoever's with? I go,
is it Ted Dancing? Goes? Yeah, that's Ted Dancing? Sh
I go, well, why is he in this movie? Sh
what is this a war where everybody knows your name?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
What's going on here?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
So this guy's in cheers, right, you're s you gotta
shut that all up. I'm like, but he's in cheers now,
he's in my World War two movie. He is in cheers,
because yeah, he's in cheers. Like, I can't watch this anymore.
I'll be a meet outside.
Speaker 11 (21:05):
You're that guy.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I couldn't. I couldn't sit.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
There and watch it anymore. Hey, who is who is
one of the stars of Sleepless in Seattle? Who is
the woman? Meg Ryan? So with Jeff Warnick, we went out.
We were going to have these two gals that knew
each other, and we were all friends and and I
don't think he was very serious with the girl he
was going with. And I don't think I was here.
We were just all sort of friends. Maybe I was,
(21:27):
maybe wasn't, who knows. And so he says, let's go
to a universal, go see a movie. You know, we'll
pick up the girls, go to dinner, go see the movie.
He said, okay, I said, He said, I'll pay for
everything if you do all arrange the reservations and buy
and and make the tickets and do all the calls
and my buddy had some money, right, so I said, okay,
I'll do everything. I'll range with the girls. So big
(21:47):
a mop, go to the you know, get reservation, eat,
go to the movie boom bang, but you pay for everything.
He goes done, credit card, bang done. We pick him up.
We go to that that Mexican place where everything's big
but universal. It's really good too. I don't know if
it's sill there or not, but we have a great
meal and we go to uh, we go to the
(22:08):
movie theater. Harry gets popcorn, you know, candy or whatever,
and we're sitting in the movie theater and it's me
one of the girls, Jeff Warnick, one of the girls.
Were sitting there, the four of us, and it was
a fairly packed movie theater. And the movie starts and
it says starring who is the other the comedian was
(22:29):
in them? Was it Tom Hanks? Yeah? I thought it was, okay,
maybe it was Tom And sleep in the Seattle is
Tom Hanks?
Speaker 11 (22:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Okay, all right? So Tom Hanks comes up and and
then what was the other one's name? And I'm gonna
have to write starting to understand, So Meg Ryan comes
on the screen, and he leans over the over the
girl and goes, you didn't tell me it wasn't Meg
Ryan movie. And I said, I said, I didn't know
(23:00):
how to ask you. And he goes, I don't sit
through Meg Ryan movies. And I said, okay, well just
sit through this one, he said as And he sat
in the lobby for two hours. Wow, he sat in
the lobby for two hours. He says, I can't watch
her on the screen.
Speaker 11 (23:20):
She's a door.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I think she's so good.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yes, I thought she was terrific in that movie.
Speaker 11 (23:26):
She was in that movie.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
She's really a cute.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
She was really cute.
Speaker 8 (23:29):
And and and that.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
That's right. That movie made her a huge celebrity too. Yeah,
and uh, but he didn't like right in front of
this girl too. He goes, I don't sit through the magn.
Speaker 11 (23:42):
And what did the girl think of.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
She couldn't believe it. She's like, wait, where are you
gonna go? You can walk around university. He goes, No,
just sit on one of those benches outside. He sat
out one of those like red benches outside the theater
that nobody ever uses unless your wife's going to the bathroom.
And he sit in for a second and He sat
there for an hour and a half, for two hours,
went outside. He was there with his popcorn was gone,
the coke was gone. He was just sitting there like
(24:04):
this frail old man. Right, but man, it was so great.
I don't I don't go to Meg Ryan movies and
I just for them for the girls. Can't you sit
through this?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
No, no, I don't do that. I don't do it.
I don't do it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
So, okay, we'll see answer. All right, that's my megro
Ryan story.
Speaker 11 (24:24):
I'm proud of you sitting through.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I love Meg Ryan. I thought she was and it
was a good movie. Yeah, the movie is great.
Speaker 11 (24:30):
Right he missed out?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Ah, okay, but who is the other comedian in that movie?
Speaker 11 (24:35):
I'm oh, I know Rita Wilson was in it.
Speaker 10 (24:39):
And who plays her?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
The the guy who said I'll have what or not
olive what she's having? But there was a comedian Billy Crystal, Yeah,
Billy Crystal, Billy Crystal.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
That was Harry met Sally with Meg Ryan.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Okay, it was Harry Mets.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Really it was Harry met Sally. You are who is
oh my god, comedian?
Speaker 11 (25:09):
All right, that's why when I said Tom Hanks, you
were like yeah, I was like Tom Hanks.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I don't remember in that movie. Well maybe he was,
I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Right when you got saying like the co star, I
was thinking, Bruno Kirby is one of those guys that
was in as a sidekick in all of those movies.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
And it's funny because he was a sidekick to Billy Crystal.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
So how great is that? Though I can't even get
these GD movies right, how am I going to ever get?
You know, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis.
Speaker 11 (25:38):
Oh, that's great, you can quote Kylie Jenner.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, But the whole time I was thinking Sleepless in Seattle,
but where she had she faked that orgasm and that
that launch your dinner at that deli with Billy Crystal.
Speaker 11 (25:50):
When Harry met Yeah, when Harry met Sally.
Speaker 12 (25:53):
All right there, I'm glad we worked through.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
But she was in both of those. She was Oh,
thank god, I thought I was going crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You're cute jeans.
Speaker 8 (26:04):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on Demya from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Got the Commander Alan Hamilton Lapd calling him at seven bells.
That's kind of cool. Then Matt money Smith at eight,
It'll take us till eight thirty and then it's the
show could be horrible between eight thirty and ten. I
would even listen to that. Let's say that it's just
(26:29):
gonna be horrible, just horrible, the worst, the worst way
I've ever done.
Speaker 7 (26:34):
Oh, somebody had a snip.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Hey, I didn't get to listen to the whole. I
don't know if you listened today to Petro some money,
But they do this annual list of people who hate them,
and I didn't get to hear it. Did you hear
any of it? Bellio?
Speaker 11 (26:48):
I have not, but I would like to hear that.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I'd love to hear that.
Speaker 11 (26:51):
I make the listen. Why don't I pull it and
we can all listen to it between eight and ten.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Let's do it. Yeah, like, let's do it every day
between eight thirty and ten? Right, easy?
Speaker 11 (27:03):
Easy?
Speaker 6 (27:04):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I just you know, I'm just you know, some days
you're you know, I think I've COVID and you know
I don't.
Speaker 11 (27:14):
Are you serious?
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Not?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I I don't have it? But why because I I
you know, I just don't. Since it started, I felt
like I've had it every day.
Speaker 8 (27:24):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I know you said that and it's weird. I've not
had it. I've been checked seven times because you know,
except I was. I had a movie career going for
a little while until my agent stopped calling. I was
and I was working with the hottest director in Hollywood,
and you know, I worked three days on a new
(27:46):
movie coming out and then boom, my phone just dried up,
dried up. Hey, Tim, did you have to come having
had no They served food there, Yeah, but they did
all that run don't walk, all that language the second
da ads do. But my I was in I thought
(28:08):
I was, you know, hot again in Hollywood, and I'm not.
I'm just, you know, I'm just how.
Speaker 11 (28:12):
Would you rate your performance? You think you were pretty good.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
In the movie.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I mean, I let's put it this way. I was
in a scene with an actor that you guys all know.
I can't talk about it yet, and it's a her
and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna tell you, but
it's I was in a scene with you. You would
know you and Mondo and Danny, the whole crew, you
guys would know who this actress was. And she was
(28:39):
in the scene with me. And then there was like
three or four other kids in the same scene, and
the director gave them all notes on what to do
and didn't give me any how about that?
Speaker 11 (28:52):
But you know, sometimes when people give somebody what they
can handle, I wonder if they thought, like, he's not
gonna get it anyway, So okay, well.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
How about this? Then okay, then then then that's that's cool.
All right, I'll take that insult. But how about this?
He had asked me to come back, and they gave
me a second role in the movie, and nobody in
his movies have ever played two roles. How about that?
Speaker 11 (29:19):
Well, wait, you have lines, like you actually speak or
are you an extra? Walk on what exactly?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Okay, I'll tell you. The first day I had lines.
I had about five or six lines. The second day
I went back, he said, I want you to add
lib this whole scene. What that said?
Speaker 11 (29:40):
And I said, hey, let you carry a scene?
Speaker 2 (29:44):
He said. I got there that morning. He said, I
want you to write what you want to say down
and then you're gonna You're gonna add lib the entire
scene and it was like two and a half minutes.
Speaker 11 (29:57):
Did you feel comfortable doing that? Did you feel like
your ad lib was like pretty good.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
It was the worst.
Speaker 12 (30:04):
Did you get several takes or did you just get
one take?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
How many did you get? I got? I've got four
or five different takes from about two or three different angles.
Speaker 12 (30:15):
Nice, you got your close ups, you got your carriage.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Well no, you see, now see I didn't get a
close up. And I'll tell you why, because it's something
weird happened on the movie where and again this is
a this is an Oscar nominated director that you would
all know. This is not you know, Joe Blow who
just came in from uh, you know, you know, New
York City Film school. Hey, but so we're doing the
(30:41):
I worked the first scene the first day, and then
I didn't expect to go back because I wasn't scheduled
to work more than one day. And I got a
text a week later saying, hey, can you play another
part in the movie. It's a bigger part. And I said, yeah,
I would love to. So I went back. We're doing
the scene and the scripts came up and whispered something
(31:01):
to the director And I thought what she was whispering
was wow, is this guy horrible mine? But what in
reality she was saying to him is look, we're gonna
have to shoot this scene from his from behind him
the entire time. And the director said why, and she said,
because three minutes before this in the movie. He's a
(31:25):
different character. Is one of the characters a radio host? No,
neither one of them are radio hosts. One is I
think I can tell you what the can I guess?
Speaker 12 (31:40):
But one is yeah, you can go ahead, degenerate gambler
ooh very good.
Speaker 10 (31:45):
No member of the Mustard crew.
Speaker 9 (31:48):
No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
It's a guy who uses his old heart as an
excuse for everything. His best friend.
Speaker 10 (31:59):
Sounds like a good Yeah, that's familiar.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
I got a lot of familiar, you know, a lot
of confidence in it because I've been dealing with it
for two years.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So that's cool.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
By the way, there was there was a lady who
emailed me, and she she goes, you gotta be nicer
to Mondo. If he had that disease what he had
ten years later, he would have been dead, so please
be nicer to him. I just wrote back, okay, reluctantly, Okay,
all right. The two characters I played, one was a
(32:31):
casting director, you know when you go into to get
cast for a movie or TV show or whatever. One
of them was a casting director, Yeah, for what.
Speaker 10 (32:40):
Kind of movies? Though? Casting director for what? For like
major movies or for CD A one eight movies.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
No, I can't tell you the casting director. And then
the second role I played was a director.
Speaker 11 (33:01):
The text thing, please stop this, you're giving away too
much information.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I'm not giving away that much information. But you know
the second one is a an MC. I'll just say that.
Speaker 11 (33:17):
And that's the one you add libbed and that they
had to shoot from behind.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
That's right. That was about two and a half minutes all.
Speaker 12 (33:25):
Don't you think. Don't you think it'll confuse the audience though,
to see you play two different people.
Speaker 11 (33:30):
Because they won't know.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
They probably use a voice over for one of them.
They won't know, and you'll know maybe, but maybe you
won't either, right, you'll just maybe I won't even see it.
Speaker 7 (33:40):
F you.
Speaker 12 (33:41):
Well they.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Oh, we're all going to watch it?
Speaker 11 (33:45):
Well, will they let you know if like you don't
make the cut, like all your scenes get eliminated or
are they going to make sure you are in the
final cut?
Speaker 9 (33:55):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
You know I've ever thought about it until now, but
thanks for that.
Speaker 11 (34:00):
Just keep it real man.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I do I know,
I don't. I think I'll be in at least one
scene because it was with a really famous actress.
Speaker 10 (34:11):
What does her name begin with?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
I really can't tell you that.
Speaker 10 (34:17):
Why why?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Why?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Okay, I'll tell you. I'll give you her first name, okay, okay,
because it's not a it's not an unusual name. Her
first name is.
Speaker 10 (34:27):
Cher and she doesn't have a last name.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yes she does. Oh it starts with a B. I
don't know she still uses that name or not.
Speaker 10 (34:44):
That's an old last name whatever.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
But uh no, I don't think so, I don't think so.
I don't know. Maybe I don't. I don't know if
she uses that term still. But yeah, so it was.
It was a lot of fun. I think the movie
comes out next summer, but hopefully the director said he'll
come on the radio when it's released, So that'd be cool.
Speaker 11 (35:08):
That'll be huge.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And my phone has stopped ringing. That's the only director
that wants me in their project. No other Hollywood directors
are calling.
Speaker 11 (35:18):
Well, maybe you need a new agent.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I don't have a TV agent or a movie agent.
You used to how did you get through it? And
then and then how'd you get the roll?
Speaker 11 (35:30):
I I can't even tell you, man, why is this
so top secret?
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Because they asked me not to talk about it?
Speaker 10 (35:39):
Right?
Speaker 11 (35:40):
Why don't they want like good publicity and a build
up to it.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
To come out when they wanted to come out right?
Speaker 11 (35:47):
Oh okay?
Speaker 2 (35:47):
And I think that's what they do, and I totally
respect that. Conway show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Now you can always hear us live on k if
I AM sixty four to seven pm Monday through Friday,
and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
It's k IF.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am six forty and you're listening to the Conway
Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. This is what
I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
What are some of the lessons you've learned from your father?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Well, one was on the way here today. Not to
obsess over your son's cheap sweater tags. This is a question.
My dad was being interviewed for a magazine called Lifestyle.
I think, yeah, lifestyle magazine Lifestyle dot org. And at
the end of the interview he was on doing the
(00:32):
interview on videotape for like two hours at the m
they said, hey, can we put you Can we mike
you up and ask you a question about your dad?
And I said, sure, right. I didn't want to do
it because I didn't want to say anything, you know,
I wanted to keep it positive. It's a religious magazine.
They want, you know, no swearing, no off colored stories,
(00:55):
just make it simple and keep it, you know, clean.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
This is one of those fascinating things that I think
about with you specifically because you know, having having your
dad being your dad, Because I think most people at
some point have have conversations with people that go, hey,
what's something that you got from here. You know, it's
a regular sort of common question, right, but with you,
it's like your dad is your dad, So you got
to just be always on guard with that answer because
(01:20):
you never know.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Right, I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
It's like, I'm completely free and open with my dad.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Right now, yeah, and I can't be I can never
say it gave.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Me a hit a pot when he was.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
When I was, my dad caught me, you know, smoking
weed and took a hit, which is not true. And
you know, my dad was the biggest anti drug guy
in the world. Yeah, you know, he found two of
my brothers smoking weed and sent him to rehab where
they had to leave the state or leave the city
over weed. Right, they were both smoking weed. You know,
one was sixteen, I think the other one was fourteen,
(01:52):
and they left the home. You know, they left the
home for a month. Wow, and they are two months
three months? You know?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Was that eighties.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Early eighties, mid eighties, like eighty three, eighty four. Anyway,
So this is the question they asked my dad. I
didn't know the question was coming up, but it's a
true story and one of the few life's lessons my
dad did teach me. Here all right, here it is
all right, played the whole thing uninterrupted.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
What are some of the lessons you've learned from your father?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, I think you know life's lessons. I remember when
I was very I was young, I was probably in
high school, and a girl I was going out with
left a note on my windshield saying I'm out, you
know of the relationship, which is nice. That was really
yeah good, but actually that now, that's the way I've
broken up with the very easy to do a note
(02:47):
on the windshield unlesson brains your gold. But and I
remember saying to my dad, I said, hey, you know,
I was really depressed, and he said, never never pursue
anybody who doesn't want to hang out with you. I thought,
that's pretty cool, that is good, and uh, and I
showed her. I showed him a picture of her, and
he said, try to get back together with.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
That.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Pretty good.
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Yeah, that's pretty solid. You haven't right to change your
mind time.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
Man.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But my dad is so quick. He didn't know I
was going to say that. And instead of saying, oh,
that's not true or I don't remember that, his his
funny response was, well, you know you're gonna lay heavy,
you know heavy lessons on your kid. You have the
right to do the exact opposite once in a while
if you want. And that's exactly what he did there
at the end, a hard and fast right exactly at
(03:41):
the end. He's like, you know what, he was so quick,
even like up till the end when he was starting
to get sick. My dad was so quick with responses
here and and I showed her. I showed him a
picture of her, and he said, try to get back
together with pretty good.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Yeah, that's pretty solid. You haven't right to change your mind.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And it just makes us both out to be superficial idiots,
you know, Like this girl broke up with me by
putting a note on my win.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
Shit.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
I don't think a single person thinks that. I think
everybody hears that and just finds it incredibly endearing.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And I show him a picture of her, and he's like, Wow,
you're never gonna be You're never gonna get anything like
that again. You gotta get you gotta try to get
back together with your dead girl.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
A happy meal is something you need to get back
in her good grases.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Although my dad did. My dad never commented on any
of the girls I ever dated, which weren't that many, right,
But he did once say to me I was dating
a girl. And he once pulled me aside and he goes, hey,
he goes, your girlfriend has the same smile and the
same disposition as your mom. And I'm like, what the
(04:59):
last thing every want to hear? I said, I really
like her, and he goes, he goes, trust me, he goes,
I would never say anything, but this girl is not
good for you. And and I'm like really, And he said, look,
I know this smile, I know the personality I married it.
It's not going for you. It's not going to go
(05:21):
good for you.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Shees ain't gonna fit you.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And I'm like wow. And like a month later, she
broke up with me, and and I don't know, you know,
I didn't see her again, and and it was it
was sort of odd. But he was right. She was,
you know, she was going. She was she had a
different outlook on life, yeah, than I did.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
My dad.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
He would because I would work for him over the
summers when you know, as a teenager in high school
and stuff, because he did construction, so I was always
labor and I was always at the construction sites of
the summer and with one girlfriend I had like my
senior year, right before my senior in high school, and
he apparently he thought she was an attractive girl because
he was just like.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Hey, Crow, show these girls.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What show these guys what your girl looks like.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I'm like, dad, really, He's like, look at this.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
That's great. Wait did your dad used to call you crow?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Oh that's awesome, dude. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Wasn't call me turkey or zero.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, he called me crow. Dude.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
That's great. Yeah, he's calling you the first three letters
of his last name. That's awesome.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I was almost his I was almost the third. Marshall
Allen Krozer.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
The third.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Oh wow, yeah, one of my can't I can never
remember which I guess I have to ask my mom.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
One of them wanted me to be Marshall Allen Crozer
said no, it was my my mom wanted to. My
dad said absolutely not, he will not be Marshall Allen Krozer.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
The third. Wow, So she made it Michael Allen Krusch.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I we got to take a break real quickly. I
discovered it after when I was like ten years old,
that my mom had a brother who died shortly after birth.
And I'm like, oh, that's horrible. I mean, I have
an uncle that I've never met, and she'd yeah, so
what was his name? And she goes, I'm Tim, and
I'm like, wait a minute, I'm named after your your
(07:03):
dead brother.
Speaker 8 (07:04):
And she's likeah, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior on
demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Got some sad news in Hollywood. A guy named Ken
Craigan died. He was huge. He's one of the big
movers and shakers in the music business. He organized We
Are the World and Hands across America. He's eighty five
years old. Really decent guy, very charitable man. He died
(07:35):
Tuesday of natural causes in his Brentwood home, according to
a family spokesperson, Craigan managed the careers of Kenny Rogers,
Lionel Ritchie, the Beg's, Olivia Newton, John Burt Reynolds, the
Smothers Brothers, Tricia Yearwood Man, Oh ma'am okayet everybody. In
(07:57):
eighty five after receiving call from Harry Belafonte, Craig was
instrumental in rounding up the talent, including Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen,
Cindy Lauper, Tim Conway, Junior, Richie and Rogers all appeared
and went backstage for the We Are of the World,
and he brought in Quincy Jones to produce the music,
(08:17):
and the project raised and estimated sixty four million dollars
for poverty and that was that was nineteen eighty five dollars,
So that's probably today equivalent today maybe I don't know,
probably one hundred million dollars. So he also put together
Hands across America. Anybody was an even fault of that.
(08:37):
Did you do that, Krozier or Angel or Belli O
Hands across America? I guess all across America. Everybody held
hands and stretched across the entire country. Huh.
Speaker 9 (08:47):
Oh, well I did something like that, but I thought
it was for a beach cleanup or something.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Oh hands across what the Huntington Beach.
Speaker 9 (08:57):
Yeah, I remember to reach some kind of a handholding
thing and people were doing it all down the beach
and it was supposed to like happen around the world.
Speaker 10 (09:04):
So maybe that was part of its.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Kind of cool. Yeah, but let me see if I
can name every one of these singers, because I was
there when they did this. USA for Africa. Right, I
drove Michael Jackson. I drove Lionel Richie. I'm you know,
a couple of big celebrities. But let's see if I
can name, because again I'm not that great with celebrities.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
There comes a time.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Alright, that's Lionel Ritchie, when we.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Heat a certain when the world must come together.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
With Stevie Wonder, Steve Damn. That's Stevie Wonder, Paul Simon
right to.
Speaker 7 (09:50):
The great Scamp, Kenny Rogers.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
That's Kenny Rogers. Right, Yeah, we can't go.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, they do the transept, that's right.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
James ing broke body after case a song, so make change.
We are Tina Turner.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
God's pretty big family.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Billy Joel Soweet. You'll know this next one, Michael Jackson,
it's not that talk show host the singer. Yeah, there's
a joy swiming Diana Ross all in one room.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
It's true. We make a bit of just shoo me, send.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Him your heart, hey, Dionne Warwick, Bresent Tim coma junior guest.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Thing wrong with that Willie Nelson, short haired Willie Nelson.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's gone shown up turn into one of my favorites
right here.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And Alt.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Fantastic.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, he's try the ball.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
My goodness, we are children.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Knock it out, make broad and dad.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Kenny Loggin. That's Steve Perry. I didn't know he was there.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
We do we make a better? Dyl Oats was somewhere around.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Will you turn out for the return stop?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Lewis the lonesome Kim farn Is that her?
Speaker 7 (12:09):
Yeah, yeah, one of your sisters.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I thought everybody had a camp up a line.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I guess not.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Anyway, the guy that did this just passed away. The
guy that what directed it produced it. Kenny pray again,
prom Dylan, listen, make.
Speaker 8 (13:01):
You me.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I think they end with Ray Charles, and.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
It sounds like he literally walked in the room right
when he started singing.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But there are a lot of people there that didn't
have a.
Speaker 11 (13:18):
Line, and you were sleeping in the limo right.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, I'll be yeah, this is Ray Charles. Well, you know,
(13:43):
there were a lot of people there that didn't get
a line.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
I would argue any of them should have replaced Kim Carnes.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Dan Ackroyd was there, Oh yeah, that's right, Harry Belafont thing.
Who else was there? Sheila remember her?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I think more of the Jackson brothers were there.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, Jackie Jackson was there, LaToya Jackie, Marlon, Randy Tito.
I think there. I don't. I don't think she was
not really, she didn't get along with one of them.
There was a Jackson feud going on. Wayland Jennings was there,
and Bette Midler. Who else was there at that point?
You're right there?
Speaker 12 (14:17):
Are there?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Are the Pointer sisters in there?
Speaker 7 (14:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
And Smokey Robinson as well? Oh yeah, Phil Collins? Wait
what he was doing the percussion of the drums he was,
Are there.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Any I'm trying to think. Am I missing somebody? Obvious?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Were there any other people non American there?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I don't think so. Just dan Aykroyd.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
A cheap shot at dan Ackron. Bill Gibson was there.
Who Bill Gibson?
Speaker 1 (14:51):
They said, Mill.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
That was kind of a cool night, dude. But I
was exhausted, so I was sleeping in the limma. I
mean I was in there for a while and I
s bored me because he goes sleep at them nineteen
eighty five, man, I had twenty three.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I've seen some of those, some of the outtakes, like
when they're working through parts that are just so fascinating
to me. Like I've seen YouTube videos where that part
where Cindy Lauper and Huey lewis where they kind of
overlap each other, and it was so fascinating to see
how they work it out where she goes down, she
goes up, and they're like, no, try it this way.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I love stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, they didn't rehearse at all until they went and
did it that night, and they and they shot it
all night. They got there like at eleven at night
and didn't leave till like six or seven in the morning.
Speaker 7 (15:35):
That that does.
Speaker 11 (15:37):
Did you get a good night's rest?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I did?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
We rested and refreshed me.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
They gave me an autographed shirt. Did they a sweatshirt?
There was autogra where is that? I probably wore it out,
burned it out. That just didn't impress me that kind
of stuff.
Speaker 8 (15:53):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I'm not that hip on who celebrities are, right, I've
just never been into it. I don't watch a little
a lot of entertainment Tonight or TMZ, and I don't
know a lot of them, so I'm in Las Vegas
with a couple of friends. It's thirty years ago, and
there's one two one two three four one two three four. Yeah,
(16:20):
there are four pictures of the people that were involved
with the startup of a place called Planet Hollywood. They
have restaurants, a lot of stars, and they have they
had a hotel in Vegas. I don't know if it's
still there or not. And they had four statues of
these people outside and my buddy Jeff Warnick, God rest
(16:45):
his soul, not here anymore. I missed that guy every day,
one of the smartest, funniest guys I've ever met my life.
And he said, I'm going to give you a one
hundred dollars for every one of these celebrities that you know,
and I'm gonna take one hundred dollars away for everyone
you don't know. And I said, oh boy, this could
cost me four hundred dollars. So we walk over the
(17:08):
statues and I said, okay, that one is Arnold Schwarzenegger
and he gives me a hundred dollars bill and I
said that not. The other one is Sylvester Stallone and
he gives me another hundred dollars Bill, so I'm at
least even And then he shows me the other one
and he and he says, who's that? And I said,
(17:32):
I have no idea who that is? And he said, Tim,
you drove him in a limousine, a very popular celebrity,
and you've driven him, you know, you've driven him at
least five times. And when you drove a limousine, you
picked him up and took him to the airport. I said,
(17:52):
where does he live? He goes, he lives up in
the up in the hills, like either like Hollywood or no,
I'm sorry, Beverly Hills, or like West Los Angeles. And
I said, I have no idea who that is. And
he says, okay, that's Bruce Willis. And he takes one
hundred dollars away from me and he says and he says,
(18:13):
there's one more. It's a woman. And I said, I
don't know. He said, you've talked about her on the radio,
and you one of your favorite movies. This this woman
is the star of that movie. And I'm like, I
(18:35):
just don't know who that is. And he said, I'll
even give you the name of the movie. And I said,
what's the name of the movie, and he said, I
think he said like terms of endearment, and I said,
I still don't know. And it was Demi Moore and
he took the other one hundred dollars bill. And I
(18:56):
don't know if she was in that movie or not,
or if he was just f with me. But he
said he couldn't believe All weekend, he kept saying, how
the hell do you pick this guy up in that limousine?
Five times in the last two years you talked to
him on the way to the airport, and you never
ever and you couldn't pick out his name, right. I said,
I'm just I'm just not into how he goes. You
(19:18):
don't have to be into Hollywood to know this stuff.
You're mentally declining, that's what's going on. This has nothing
to do with entertainment Tonight and TMZ and you know
and and all these other celebrity shows. H This is
this is a problem that you have. I said, well,
maybe the statue doesn't look like you know, Bruce Willis.
So he stopped people that came by and he covered
(19:42):
up in the name of you standing member, you're standing
on the on the name and twenty people walk by, Hey,
who's that? Oh, Bruce Willis. Who's this Bruce Willis?
Speaker 6 (19:48):
Hey, who's that?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Before he could before he could finish a question, Hey,
who's Bruce Willis. It's Bruce Willis, Bruce Willis. That's Bruce Willis.
Bruce Willis right there in w WA, Bruce Willison w ware.
And weren't they married for a while? Yes, I think
at the time there were still Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's another point he brought up, that they
were married, and I should have gotten that too, and
I didn't. But you know what, But the reason why
(20:10):
I don't, and let me defend myself here. When I
go to a movie, I don't want to know the
actors' names. I just want to for the two hours
i'm there, I want to be transported into a into
a place where I've never been before, and I don't
know anybody. Like I went to see that Saving Private Ryan,
and I'm in the movie. About an hour and a
half into the movie, I look up and I said,
(20:31):
and I said, it was Jenner. Whoever's with? I go,
is it Ted Dancing? Goes? Yeah, that's Ted Dancing? Sh
I go, well, why is he in this movie? Sh
what is this a war where everybody knows your name?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
What's going on here?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
So this guy's in cheers, right, you're s you gotta
shut that all up. I'm like, but he's in cheers now,
he's in my World War two movie. He is in cheers,
because yeah, he's in cheers. Like, I can't watch this anymore.
I'll be a meet outside.
Speaker 11 (21:05):
You're that guy.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I couldn't. I couldn't sit.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
There and watch it anymore. Hey, who is who is
one of the stars of Sleepless in Seattle? Who is
the woman? Meg Ryan? So with Jeff Warnick, we went out.
We were going to have these two gals that knew
each other, and we were all friends and and I
don't think he was very serious with the girl he
was going with. And I don't think I was here.
We were just all sort of friends. Maybe I was,
(21:27):
maybe wasn't, who knows. And so he says, let's go
to a universal, go see a movie. You know, we'll
pick up the girls, go to dinner, go see the movie.
He said, okay, I said, He said, I'll pay for
everything if you do all arrange the reservations and buy
and and make the tickets and do all the calls
and my buddy had some money, right, so I said, okay,
I'll do everything. I'll range with the girls. So big
(21:47):
a mop, go to the you know, get reservation, eat,
go to the movie boom bang, but you pay for everything.
He goes done, credit card, bang done. We pick him up.
We go to that that Mexican place where everything's big
but universal. It's really good too. I don't know if
it's sill there or not, but we have a great
meal and we go to uh, we go to the
(22:08):
movie theater. Harry gets popcorn, you know, candy or whatever,
and we're sitting in the movie theater and it's me
one of the girls, Jeff Warnick, one of the girls.
Were sitting there, the four of us, and it was
a fairly packed movie theater. And the movie starts and
it says starring who is the other the comedian was
(22:29):
in them? Was it Tom Hanks? Yeah? I thought it was, okay,
maybe it was Tom And sleep in the Seattle is
Tom Hanks?
Speaker 11 (22:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Okay, all right? So Tom Hanks comes up and and
then what was the other one's name? And I'm gonna
have to write starting to understand, So Meg Ryan comes
on the screen, and he leans over the over the
girl and goes, you didn't tell me it wasn't Meg
Ryan movie. And I said, I said, I didn't know
(23:00):
how to ask you. And he goes, I don't sit
through Meg Ryan movies. And I said, okay, well just
sit through this one, he said as And he sat
in the lobby for two hours. Wow, he sat in
the lobby for two hours. He says, I can't watch
her on the screen.
Speaker 11 (23:20):
She's a door.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I think she's so good.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yes, I thought she was terrific in that movie.
Speaker 11 (23:26):
She was in that movie.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
She's really a cute.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
She was really cute.
Speaker 8 (23:29):
And and and that.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
That's right. That movie made her a huge celebrity too. Yeah,
and uh, but he didn't like right in front of
this girl too. He goes, I don't sit through the magn.
Speaker 11 (23:42):
And what did the girl think of.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
She couldn't believe it. She's like, wait, where are you
gonna go? You can walk around university. He goes, No,
just sit on one of those benches outside. He sat
out one of those like red benches outside the theater
that nobody ever uses unless your wife's going to the bathroom.
And he sit in for a second and He sat
there for an hour and a half, for two hours,
went outside. He was there with his popcorn was gone,
the coke was gone. He was just sitting there like
(24:04):
this frail old man. Right, but man, it was so great.
I don't I don't go to Meg Ryan movies and
I just for them for the girls. Can't you sit
through this?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
No, no, I don't do that. I don't do it.
I don't do it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
So, okay, we'll see answer. All right, that's my megro
Ryan story.
Speaker 11 (24:24):
I'm proud of you sitting through.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I love Meg Ryan. I thought she was and it
was a good movie. Yeah, the movie is great.
Speaker 11 (24:30):
Right he missed out?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Ah, okay, but who is the other comedian in that movie?
Speaker 11 (24:35):
I'm oh, I know Rita Wilson was in it.
Speaker 10 (24:39):
And who plays her?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
The the guy who said I'll have what or not
olive what she's having? But there was a comedian Billy Crystal, Yeah,
Billy Crystal, Billy Crystal.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
That was Harry met Sally with Meg Ryan.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Okay, it was Harry Mets.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Really it was Harry met Sally. You are who is
oh my god, comedian?
Speaker 11 (25:09):
All right, that's why when I said Tom Hanks, you
were like yeah, I was like Tom Hanks.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I don't remember in that movie. Well maybe he was,
I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Right when you got saying like the co star, I
was thinking, Bruno Kirby is one of those guys that
was in as a sidekick in all of those movies.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
And it's funny because he was a sidekick to Billy Crystal.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
So how great is that? Though I can't even get
these GD movies right, how am I going to ever get?
You know, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis.
Speaker 11 (25:38):
Oh, that's great, you can quote Kylie Jenner.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, But the whole time I was thinking Sleepless in Seattle,
but where she had she faked that orgasm and that
that launch your dinner at that deli with Billy Crystal.
Speaker 11 (25:50):
When Harry met Yeah, when Harry met Sally.
Speaker 12 (25:53):
All right there, I'm glad we worked through.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
But she was in both of those. She was Oh,
thank god, I thought I was going crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You're cute jeans.
Speaker 8 (26:04):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on Demya from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Got the Commander Alan Hamilton Lapd calling him at seven bells.
That's kind of cool. Then Matt money Smith at eight,
It'll take us till eight thirty and then it's the
show could be horrible between eight thirty and ten. I
would even listen to that. Let's say that it's just
(26:29):
gonna be horrible, just horrible, the worst, the worst way
I've ever done.
Speaker 7 (26:34):
Oh, somebody had a snip.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Hey, I didn't get to listen to the whole. I
don't know if you listened today to Petro some money,
But they do this annual list of people who hate them,
and I didn't get to hear it. Did you hear
any of it? Bellio?
Speaker 11 (26:48):
I have not, but I would like to hear that.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I'd love to hear that.
Speaker 11 (26:51):
I make the listen. Why don't I pull it and
we can all listen to it between eight and ten.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Let's do it. Yeah, like, let's do it every day
between eight thirty and ten? Right, easy?
Speaker 11 (27:03):
Easy?
Speaker 6 (27:04):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I just you know, I'm just you know, some days
you're you know, I think I've COVID and you know
I don't.
Speaker 11 (27:14):
Are you serious?
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Not?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I I don't have it? But why because I I
you know, I just don't. Since it started, I felt
like I've had it every day.
Speaker 8 (27:24):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I know you said that and it's weird. I've not
had it. I've been checked seven times because you know,
except I was. I had a movie career going for
a little while until my agent stopped calling. I was
and I was working with the hottest director in Hollywood,
and you know, I worked three days on a new
(27:46):
movie coming out and then boom, my phone just dried up,
dried up. Hey, Tim, did you have to come having
had no They served food there, Yeah, but they did
all that run don't walk, all that language the second
da ads do. But my I was in I thought
(28:08):
I was, you know, hot again in Hollywood, and I'm not.
I'm just, you know, I'm just how.
Speaker 11 (28:12):
Would you rate your performance? You think you were pretty good.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
In the movie.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I mean, I let's put it this way. I was
in a scene with an actor that you guys all know.
I can't talk about it yet, and it's a her
and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna tell you, but
it's I was in a scene with you. You would
know you and Mondo and Danny, the whole crew, you
guys would know who this actress was. And she was
(28:39):
in the scene with me. And then there was like
three or four other kids in the same scene, and
the director gave them all notes on what to do
and didn't give me any how about that?
Speaker 11 (28:52):
But you know, sometimes when people give somebody what they
can handle, I wonder if they thought, like, he's not
gonna get it anyway, So okay, well.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
How about this? Then okay, then then then that's that's cool.
All right, I'll take that insult. But how about this?
He had asked me to come back, and they gave
me a second role in the movie, and nobody in
his movies have ever played two roles. How about that?
Speaker 11 (29:19):
Well, wait, you have lines, like you actually speak or
are you an extra? Walk on what exactly?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Okay, I'll tell you. The first day I had lines.
I had about five or six lines. The second day
I went back, he said, I want you to add
lib this whole scene. What that said?
Speaker 11 (29:40):
And I said, hey, let you carry a scene?
Speaker 2 (29:44):
He said. I got there that morning. He said, I
want you to write what you want to say down
and then you're gonna You're gonna add lib the entire
scene and it was like two and a half minutes.
Speaker 11 (29:57):
Did you feel comfortable doing that? Did you feel like
your ad lib was like pretty good.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
It was the worst.
Speaker 12 (30:04):
Did you get several takes or did you just get
one take?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
How many did you get? I got? I've got four
or five different takes from about two or three different angles.
Speaker 12 (30:15):
Nice, you got your close ups, you got your carriage.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Well no, you see, now see I didn't get a
close up. And I'll tell you why, because it's something
weird happened on the movie where and again this is
a this is an Oscar nominated director that you would
all know. This is not you know, Joe Blow who
just came in from uh, you know, you know, New
York City Film school. Hey, but so we're doing the
(30:41):
I worked the first scene the first day, and then
I didn't expect to go back because I wasn't scheduled
to work more than one day. And I got a
text a week later saying, hey, can you play another
part in the movie. It's a bigger part. And I said, yeah,
I would love to. So I went back. We're doing
the scene and the scripts came up and whispered something
(31:01):
to the director And I thought what she was whispering
was wow, is this guy horrible mine? But what in
reality she was saying to him is look, we're gonna
have to shoot this scene from his from behind him
the entire time. And the director said why, and she said,
because three minutes before this in the movie. He's a
(31:25):
different character. Is one of the characters a radio host? No,
neither one of them are radio hosts. One is I
think I can tell you what the can I guess?
Speaker 12 (31:40):
But one is yeah, you can go ahead, degenerate gambler
ooh very good.
Speaker 10 (31:45):
No member of the Mustard crew.
Speaker 9 (31:48):
No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
It's a guy who uses his old heart as an
excuse for everything. His best friend.
Speaker 10 (31:59):
Sounds like a good Yeah, that's familiar.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
I got a lot of familiar, you know, a lot
of confidence in it because I've been dealing with it
for two years.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So that's cool.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
By the way, there was there was a lady who
emailed me, and she she goes, you gotta be nicer
to Mondo. If he had that disease what he had
ten years later, he would have been dead, so please
be nicer to him. I just wrote back, okay, reluctantly, Okay,
all right. The two characters I played, one was a
(32:31):
casting director, you know when you go into to get
cast for a movie or TV show or whatever. One
of them was a casting director, Yeah, for what.
Speaker 10 (32:40):
Kind of movies? Though? Casting director for what? For like
major movies or for CD A one eight movies.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
No, I can't tell you the casting director. And then
the second role I played was a director.
Speaker 11 (33:01):
The text thing, please stop this, you're giving away too
much information.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I'm not giving away that much information. But you know
the second one is a an MC. I'll just say that.
Speaker 11 (33:17):
And that's the one you add libbed and that they
had to shoot from behind.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
That's right. That was about two and a half minutes all.
Speaker 12 (33:25):
Don't you think. Don't you think it'll confuse the audience though,
to see you play two different people.
Speaker 11 (33:30):
Because they won't know.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
They probably use a voice over for one of them.
They won't know, and you'll know maybe, but maybe you
won't either, right, you'll just maybe I won't even see it.
Speaker 7 (33:40):
F you.
Speaker 12 (33:41):
Well they.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Oh, we're all going to watch it?
Speaker 11 (33:45):
Well, will they let you know if like you don't
make the cut, like all your scenes get eliminated or
are they going to make sure you are in the
final cut?
Speaker 9 (33:55):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
You know I've ever thought about it until now, but
thanks for that.
Speaker 11 (34:00):
Just keep it real man.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I do I know,
I don't. I think I'll be in at least one
scene because it was with a really famous actress.
Speaker 10 (34:11):
What does her name begin with?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
I really can't tell you that.
Speaker 10 (34:17):
Why why?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Why?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Okay, I'll tell you. I'll give you her first name, okay, okay,
because it's not a it's not an unusual name. Her
first name is.
Speaker 10 (34:27):
Cher and she doesn't have a last name.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yes she does. Oh it starts with a B. I
don't know she still uses that name or not.
Speaker 10 (34:44):
That's an old last name whatever.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
But uh no, I don't think so, I don't think so.
I don't know. Maybe I don't. I don't know if
she uses that term still. But yeah, so it was.
It was a lot of fun. I think the movie
comes out next summer, but hopefully the director said he'll
come on the radio when it's released, So that'd be cool.
Speaker 11 (35:08):
That'll be huge.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And my phone has stopped ringing. That's the only director
that wants me in their project. No other Hollywood directors
are calling.
Speaker 11 (35:18):
Well, maybe you need a new agent.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I don't have a TV agent or a movie agent.
You used to how did you get through it? And
then and then how'd you get the roll?
Speaker 11 (35:30):
I I can't even tell you, man, why is this
so top secret?
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Because they asked me not to talk about it?
Speaker 10 (35:39):
Right?
Speaker 11 (35:40):
Why don't they want like good publicity and a build
up to it.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
To come out when they wanted to come out right?
Speaker 11 (35:47):
Oh okay?
Speaker 2 (35:47):
And I think that's what they do, and I totally
respect that. Conway show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Now you can always hear us live on k if
I AM sixty four to seven pm Monday through Friday,
and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
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