September 27, 2021 • 22 mins
In 2008, after moving to the port city of Kisumu in western Kenya, Paula Abuor decided to open up her house to other LGBTQ people. Meeting in bars and parks was just too risky - and, as one of Kenya’s LGBTQ ‘elders’, she really wanted young Kenyans setting out on their queer journeys to have a safe space where they could be themselves, embraced by love when their families and friends wouldn’t accept them. That’s how Annette Atieno found herself there - when she was outed by a relative and her mum sent her away from the family home in Nairobi to Kisumu. Annette takes us on a poignant journey to meet Paula and other people from that era. In doing so, we delve into an important chapter in Kenya’s LGBTQ history - and Annette reflects on the role Paula and her Kisumu house played in her own queer journey.
We are proud to have partnered on this episode with Africa Writes 2021 festival. Africa Writes is the Royal African Society’s literature festival. Each festival showcases established and emerging talent from the African continent and its diaspora in what is now the UK’s biggest celebration of contemporary African writing taking place over an exciting weekend at the British Library. The festival features book launches, readings, author appearances, panel discussions, youth and children’s workshops, and other activities. Learn more on www.africawrites.org
AfroQueer Podcast is produced by AQ Studios and Edited on Hindenburg Systems.
This episode was reported by Annette Atieno and Tevin Sudi. Produced by Penny Dale with assistance from Annette Atieno. Written by Penny Dale. Our Story Editor is Kerry Donahue.
AfroQueer is executive Produced by Selly Thiam
Rachel Wamoto is our social media manager and Tevin Sudi is our audio editor.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hello and welcome to Afro Queer.
I'm your host,
Sally Chum.
Welcome to season four of Afro Queer y'all.
That's right.
It is season four.
We got your D MS and emails about this show and we're back.
So we spent the last year reporting stories from around the world and bringing on a whole new team.
This season.
(00:21):
You're going to hear from a lot of new voices including pitches from our audience.
In fact,
the first episode of season four comes from Afro Queer listener,
Annette Acho Annette's story takes us back 10 years to Kisumu,
a port city in western Kenya and to a woman who opened her heart and her home as a place of refuge and love for countless LGBT people.
(00:44):
It's a tale of affirmation community and history.
Welcome everyone to the first episode of season four,
Paula's house.
Oh,
and oh,
I need,
oh,
(01:08):
let's begin.
Thank you so much,
Dina.
Yeah,
we had this conversation about Paula's house,
how we met that we went to see her and you remember we walked in and there was no one there.
It was empty which like,
really was odd.
It was odd and like Sad.
(01:33):
I'm Annette at Tino and that's my friend Dina Apollo we are talking about is Paula Abul,
a pioneer of Kenya's LGBT Q movement last year,
Dina.
And I went to see her.
It was a real shock.
It was very sad to see her all alone in her big house in Kisumu because that house was never empty.
(02:04):
Mhm.
Right.
Come here from 2008.
And for over a decade,
anyone who was LGBT Q and came to Kisumu found themselves in Paula's place,
especially those of us who are young and just setting out on our queer journeys.
(02:26):
Paula's house was part of our history and I think it needs to be heard to be remembered.
It was one of the first safe spaces for the LGBT Q community and for me,
a space that when I think of it now was so connected to my own journey.
(02:47):
Paula's house is a good story because she did a lot like that was the beginning of me in the community and it started there.
That's my friend Dina.
That's when I started being involved in things.
Not very much that my face would be at the front,
but knowing what's happening and knowing the dramas in the communities and the happiness and the sadness and knowing secrets.
(03:19):
So how I came to know Paula is that someone in my family outed me and then my family took drastic measures and had me moved from one part of the country to another.
Yeah,
(03:44):
we want to put away.
Yeah,
you got that.
I was in my early twenties.
My family was and still is really important.
I remember landing in Kiso and feeling so removed from my friends and community.
So I turned to Facebook.
(04:05):
A friend reached out and told me to meet her one day at a mall close by so she could take me to find our people.
So we met and then got on a number 44 matatu and set off on a bus trip that took us up a hill round some bends and into lots of housing estates on the edge of Kisumu.
(04:27):
We got off at a place with a field and then walked into a labyrinth of alleyways and suddenly we were at the door,
no rainbows or signs or red arrows pointing here.
Just an ordinary house with a small veranda.
There were six or seven pairs of shoes of varying sizes.
But what was out of the ordinary was the sound of queer joy I could hear coming from inside.
(04:53):
I remember getting a bit nervous and worrying about being likable and making a good impression.
My friend opened the door and I followed her into a largish living room full of people engaged in animated conversation.
The house was alive and lived in Paula,
walked up to me with a smile and a hug and introduced me to everyone.
(05:15):
She showed me around and I remember her showing me the extra bedroom and telling me if I ever needed a place to sleep,
I had a room in her house.
I immediately felt at home.
(05:36):
I go,
Dina,
you've already met,
let's meet some other people from those days.
My name is politeness.
Uh That's what I like to be called a bisexual woman,
a mother to three adorable kids,
a wife and a partner.
(06:03):
Paula's house always had an open door policy.
You get there,
the array of slippers and shoes out there just tells you it is full.
But hey,
I'm also here,
you know,
like no shame in me coming.
This is where I want to be,
you know,
and you'd get in and Paula would be like,
hey,
hey,
hey,
come in,
come in and she's hugging you and she saw you yesterday,
(06:24):
you know,
you know,
it was always welcoming each and every day.
You know,
like,
ah,
you've come to see,
you know,
make yourself happy.
It would always be welcoming because we just knew this is a space for us.
She was like Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou.
And this is your home?
Just feel comfortable.
(06:45):
Do you need juice?
Do you need wine?
There is lots of food.
You can go to the kitchen,
there is a bedroom,
you can sleep,
just feel free.
My name is Maurice Hu Ching and I am a transgender man.
I have known Paula Ball since 2011.
Those days.
Life was so hard,
you know,
being a queer person you come out and it was immediately after high school.
So I was going through a lot.
(07:06):
So I found that Paula's house was a AAA safe space for me.
And I met you in Paula's house.
This is,
this is true.
I used to spend in Paula's house most of the time uh like every day,
but there is no day.
Uh I've heard about uh complaining about queer people staying in a house.
So Paula's place became a meeting point for us.
(07:27):
I would literally just do stuff,
leave my house.
You know,
when I'm on holidays and go to stick at Paolo's place,
I'd even sleep there,
you know,
for days.
No,
no nine because I felt like this is where I wanted to be.
It was a chill spot for me.
You know,
everyone is coming and you know,
cooking and just having fun sting.
You know,
(07:47):
everyone was there like we were like,
wow,
you know,
she had her house broken into a million times until we started worrying,
you know,
because it was targeted and she'd always used to do and say no,
(08:08):
I would not move because everyone comes here,
people would steal from her but she would still let them come.
She was just open.
I think it's time that we met the woman at the center of this Afro Queer episode.
Mhm I'm Paula Abor.
(08:29):
Most people know me as Paula RBA because of uh social media.
But Paula is just enough.
If you find me as Paula,
that's fine.
I'm an activist,
a human rights defender.
And uh my journey began uh way back in Kisumu.
Right?
So now going to the house.
Yes.
How did you come to,
to open your house like that?
(08:50):
Was it?
Did it just happen or did you plan?
Mm mm I didn't plan every time we could go to a space.
We were so afraid.
Then if we go to the park it's you get stories one time they arresting someone at the park.
So I thought,
ah,
now that I'm living here and I have a huge house then uh maybe I can just be inviting them for the sake of safety because people are very excited.
(09:13):
So we started by just inviting a few of our friends to come and chill.
Then uh someone tells you and people like,
where are you at?
I mean,
we go at Paula's place.
Why is that before you realize someone has called another?
Someone has called another and it's like that.
Then the house is full and people came from everywhere.
Nairobi,
Mombasa,
(09:35):
Tuana,
I mean everywhere.
So everybody used to know we land in Kisumu,
we land in Kisumu actually is Paula's house.
I thank God for even the person I was dating at that time.
She,
she was very understanding and accommodative and uh I feel good when II I think about that space because it served people in many different ways,
(09:56):
people who are not,
well,
they would just come and,
and that time,
there was so much love within the community.
Now,
Apollo Place became that place where everybody could come to.
When they have challenges,
we even had people whose parents uh when they were discovering about them would send them away or they would fight or they would beat them properly.
And then the only place they could run to is my house.
(10:19):
In fact,
uh you have been to my place,
the place I was staying,
it had a very big sitting room,
the dining space and the sitting room.
So what I did was to invest in mattresses.
So whenever someone would come and people are mean,
we just spread the mattress from here to to the end.
And now because I was also financially stable,
I was working,
I would just equip the fridge to enable us to,
(10:41):
to have food,
to eat for the day.
Or sometimes even some of them would come and uh come with food or if they want to drink,
they carry drinks.
So it's a place where even this cat walking thing used to happen there.
It was just a free space for everyone.
(11:07):
Even sometimes I think I even shocked my neighbors.
I can remember one time they saw a Lido Ali do is a well known queer Christian feminist.
They head up Kiss Lab,
which is an organization based in Kisumu.
It stands up for the rights of LBQ women and they're wondering like,
hey,
and uh is this a girl,
is this a boy that actually asking me like this?
(11:30):
You have funny friends.
I'm telling you they're blessed.
Those guys are blessed in some ways.
We were blessed.
It was such fun,
a place to party and celebrate.
It's really tough being open.
(11:52):
The LGBT Q here in Kenya,
people are disowned by friends and family harassed,
attacked and sometimes killed back then in 2008,
when Paula opened up her doors,
it was even harder.
We didn't have as many support groups as we do now.
So that Kisumu House was a lifeline in so many ways.
(12:15):
And politeness really captures the mood.
You feel so free.
You know,
because you're not afraid to hug anyone there,
you're not afraid to kiss anyone there.
You're not afraid to actually just show yourself who you are.
It would be a meeting place for couples and she was OK with it.
And we understood I came out publicly because of Paula.
(12:36):
I came to know my gender identity because of Paula and she was very supportive when I was still confused between my gender.
Then uh she could take me through a lot of education and I came across this word called transgender.
And I told Paula that,
you know,
this is exactly who I am.
I don't know,
I feel comfortable uh because I know this term and I would wish one day if I could start transitioning Maurice O Ching did begin his transition journey.
(13:11):
Perhaps if he hadn't met Paula and through her other transgender people and support networks,
he wouldn't have and his life would have been very different for politeness.
It was personal and it was also political,
a space for debating and strategizing Paula's house is where we kind of consolidated the idea of the LGBTI movement.
(13:39):
We wanted to have this movement,
wanted to,
you know,
give services to people.
And you know,
we just realized that um it's not just about your sexuality,
you can explore other points of life and it is in in my house that the serious queer movement in Kisumu started because there is where we sat and talked about,
we can form something that can include everyone.
(14:02):
And that is how Nyk was born in that space.
That's the Nyanza Rift Valley and Western Kenya Network,
a coalition of groups which advocate for the rights of LGBT Q Kenyans in that part of the country.
That is how three W was born in that space.
Three W is women working with women,
a support group for lesbians,
(14:22):
bisexuals and queer women in Western Kenya in the end.
Sadly,
Paula's house became a different place.
Remember,
politeness talked about stealing and the feeling that the house was being targeted.
(14:44):
Well,
the break ins got worse and worse and Paula,
she ended up having two very public,
very messy relationship breakups.
And slowly people started to drift away from the house and from Paula,
I remember when me and,
and dinner came,
I remember feeling very sad because I walked into your house and that was the first time I saw you alone and I was like,
(15:11):
where did all the people go?
Well,
uh,
sometimes this,
this movement is funny.
People used to have so much love for each other until the donor money came in.
That is when you started seeing the love for each other,
it could disappear.
It became strange that after everybody opened up,
I mean,
no one has time for each other.
(15:33):
And I mean,
you're supposed to be a people that you know,
that you are,
you are being targeted out there and you know that,
I mean,
you're being discriminated and you feel the best thing you can do is to hold yourself together.
But we missed that somewhere along the way.
It got all mixed up until I felt at some point.
I think I'm just better off keeping away from community that is going to make me sad.
(16:01):
Nowadays,
Pala lives 50 or so kilometers north of Kisumu in a smaller town called Kama.
It's right next door to Kenya's only tropical rain forest.
It's really beautiful,
but it's not known for being queer friendly something Paula is trying to change through her organization called Jami Kenya.
It's an organization that works now.
(16:23):
Through religious space to ensure that anyone whose right is violated,
then we're able to reach out and support them.
We,
we came to the house and I'll never forget.
I,
I opened the door and,
(16:44):
and that is where we met.
It was like salve for my heart going back and seeing her and seeing that she was happier than the last time I saw her and she was doing other things and she was happy and she was laughing and you know,
(17:04):
there's a time LeToya came to visit me,
Lael Johnston in Kama.
For those of you who don't know LaToya Johnson is a transgender model and designer.
She's breaking barriers in Kenya's fashion scene.
She's bright and bold and sure to turn heads,
especially in a smaller place like Kaka Mega.
And you know LaToya is flamboyant,
(17:26):
you a woman walking and,
and she,
she's a model.
At the same time.
I took advantage of the Jamba,
you,
you run to the road and just get into the car where she's sitting,
everybody is staring.
So guys ran after the tire up to the car and they came knocking.
They went to see,
(17:46):
is that a woman?
Is that a man?
This is Kaka mega.
And for a minute I got scared,
I'm like,
000000,
we need to do a lot of sensitization.
Paula is still doing the work to reduce stigma and open people's hearts to people like me.
(18:08):
We leave Paula and Kaka Mega causing a stir and doing her inspiring work.
There's just one loose end for me to try and tie up.
When I pitched this story to Afro Queer,
I didn't see this as my own story.
I saw myself as a storyteller on the outside telling the story that is Paula's house.
(18:32):
But how did I come to know about Paula and her house in the first place?
Because I was outed by someone in my family and then sent away by my mother.
And so finally,
the time to talk with my mom has arrived,
right?
To understand why she felt it was necessary to send me to Kiso and for her to hear what it meant to me and how going to Paula's house allowed me to be who I am.
(18:57):
Sadly,
my mom wouldn't let me record the conversation,
but at least we talked,
it was painful for her,
right?
And like I feel like I,
I spoke like I was just trying to comfort her with my words.
I don't worry,
I understand how hard this is for you.
Right?
At least she didn't,
you know,
go into like I want grandchildren.
(19:18):
You know,
the main take,
I was like,
life is short and if this is what it makes you happy,
that's fine.
And I think that's much better.
And I told her like you're doing much better than a lot of people's parents.
I need you.
I let me give you your flowers.
(19:39):
To be honest,
like this journey has also just like given me a few wet eye moments,
you know,
and understanding that Paula's house was a very large piece of a puzzle that has led me to,
to where I am now.
It's made me be like happier with where I am.
(19:59):
It's helped me realize how far I've come,
how far organizing has come,
how far the community has come,
how much good has happened?
So this has been a been a good journey.
It's been cathartic.
Yeah.
(20:31):
What a journey,
Annette.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
This episode was reported by Annette Aano and Tevin Suti,
produced by Penny Dale with assistance from Annette Acho written by Penny Dale.
Our story editor is Carrie Donohue.
(20:52):
Tevin Suti is our sound editor and Rachel Wo is our social media manager.
Afro Queer is executive produced by me,
Sally Chum.
Our theme song is Power by Maya and The Big Sky Afro Queer is supported by the wellspring Philanthropic Fund and the Ford Foundation.
We are proud to have partnered on this episode with the Africa Rights 2021 festival,
(21:15):
the U K's largest celebration of literature from Africa and the diaspora organized by the Royal African Society.
Join Annette and others on Tuesday the 19th of October at Africa rights for a virtual discussion about this episode by heading to www dot Africa rights.org or check our show notes This partnership is supported by the British Council's Digital Collaboration Fund.
(21:40):
You can follow us on all our social media platforms at Africa Podcast and you can listen to all our episodes on our website www dot Africa podcast.com or anywhere you get your podcasts.
I'm Sally Chum.
Thanks for listening.
All I need,
grow up our need.
Hello and welcome to Afro Queer.
I'm your host,
Sally Chum.
Welcome to season four of Afro Queer y'all.
That's right.
It is season four.
We got your D MS and emails about this show and we're back.
So we spent the last year reporting stories from around the world and bringing on a whole new team.
This season.
(00:21):
You're going to hear from a lot of new voices including pitches from our audience.
In fact,
the first episode of season four comes from Afro Queer listener,
Annette Acho Annette's story takes us back 10 years to Kisumu,
a port city in western Kenya and to a woman who opened her heart and her home as a place of refuge and love for countless LGBT people.
(00:44):
It's a tale of affirmation community and history.
Welcome everyone to the first episode of season four,
Paula's house.
Oh,
and oh,
I need,
oh,
(01:08):
let's begin.
Thank you so much,
Dina.
Yeah,
we had this conversation about Paula's house,
how we met that we went to see her and you remember we walked in and there was no one there.
It was empty which like,
really was odd.
It was odd and like Sad.
(01:33):
I'm Annette at Tino and that's my friend Dina Apollo we are talking about is Paula Abul,
a pioneer of Kenya's LGBT Q movement last year,
Dina.
And I went to see her.
It was a real shock.
It was very sad to see her all alone in her big house in Kisumu because that house was never empty.
(02:04):
Mhm.
Right.
Come here from 2008.
And for over a decade,
anyone who was LGBT Q and came to Kisumu found themselves in Paula's place,
especially those of us who are young and just setting out on our queer journeys.
(02:26):
Paula's house was part of our history and I think it needs to be heard to be remembered.
It was one of the first safe spaces for the LGBT Q community and for me,
a space that when I think of it now was so connected to my own journey.
(02:47):
Paula's house is a good story because she did a lot like that was the beginning of me in the community and it started there.
That's my friend Dina.
That's when I started being involved in things.
Not very much that my face would be at the front,
but knowing what's happening and knowing the dramas in the communities and the happiness and the sadness and knowing secrets.
(03:19):
So how I came to know Paula is that someone in my family outed me and then my family took drastic measures and had me moved from one part of the country to another.
Yeah,
(03:44):
we want to put away.
Yeah,
you got that.
I was in my early twenties.
My family was and still is really important.
I remember landing in Kiso and feeling so removed from my friends and community.
So I turned to Facebook.
(04:05):
A friend reached out and told me to meet her one day at a mall close by so she could take me to find our people.
So we met and then got on a number 44 matatu and set off on a bus trip that took us up a hill round some bends and into lots of housing estates on the edge of Kisumu.
(04:27):
We got off at a place with a field and then walked into a labyrinth of alleyways and suddenly we were at the door,
no rainbows or signs or red arrows pointing here.
Just an ordinary house with a small veranda.
There were six or seven pairs of shoes of varying sizes.
But what was out of the ordinary was the sound of queer joy I could hear coming from inside.
(04:53):
I remember getting a bit nervous and worrying about being likable and making a good impression.
My friend opened the door and I followed her into a largish living room full of people engaged in animated conversation.
The house was alive and lived in Paula,
walked up to me with a smile and a hug and introduced me to everyone.
(05:15):
She showed me around and I remember her showing me the extra bedroom and telling me if I ever needed a place to sleep,
I had a room in her house.
I immediately felt at home.
(05:36):
I go,
Dina,
you've already met,
let's meet some other people from those days.
My name is politeness.
Uh That's what I like to be called a bisexual woman,
a mother to three adorable kids,
a wife and a partner.
(06:03):
Paula's house always had an open door policy.
You get there,
the array of slippers and shoes out there just tells you it is full.
But hey,
I'm also here,
you know,
like no shame in me coming.
This is where I want to be,
you know,
and you'd get in and Paula would be like,
hey,
hey,
hey,
come in,
come in and she's hugging you and she saw you yesterday,
(06:24):
you know,
you know,
it was always welcoming each and every day.
You know,
like,
ah,
you've come to see,
you know,
make yourself happy.
It would always be welcoming because we just knew this is a space for us.
She was like Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou,
Caribou.
And this is your home?
Just feel comfortable.
(06:45):
Do you need juice?
Do you need wine?
There is lots of food.
You can go to the kitchen,
there is a bedroom,
you can sleep,
just feel free.
My name is Maurice Hu Ching and I am a transgender man.
I have known Paula Ball since 2011.
Those days.
Life was so hard,
you know,
being a queer person you come out and it was immediately after high school.
So I was going through a lot.
(07:06):
So I found that Paula's house was a AAA safe space for me.
And I met you in Paula's house.
This is,
this is true.
I used to spend in Paula's house most of the time uh like every day,
but there is no day.
Uh I've heard about uh complaining about queer people staying in a house.
So Paula's place became a meeting point for us.
(07:27):
I would literally just do stuff,
leave my house.
You know,
when I'm on holidays and go to stick at Paolo's place,
I'd even sleep there,
you know,
for days.
No,
no nine because I felt like this is where I wanted to be.
It was a chill spot for me.
You know,
everyone is coming and you know,
cooking and just having fun sting.
You know,
(07:47):
everyone was there like we were like,
wow,
you know,
she had her house broken into a million times until we started worrying,
you know,
because it was targeted and she'd always used to do and say no,
(08:08):
I would not move because everyone comes here,
people would steal from her but she would still let them come.
She was just open.
I think it's time that we met the woman at the center of this Afro Queer episode.
Mhm I'm Paula Abor.
(08:29):
Most people know me as Paula RBA because of uh social media.
But Paula is just enough.
If you find me as Paula,
that's fine.
I'm an activist,
a human rights defender.
And uh my journey began uh way back in Kisumu.
Right?
So now going to the house.
Yes.
How did you come to,
to open your house like that?
(08:50):
Was it?
Did it just happen or did you plan?
Mm mm I didn't plan every time we could go to a space.
We were so afraid.
Then if we go to the park it's you get stories one time they arresting someone at the park.
So I thought,
ah,
now that I'm living here and I have a huge house then uh maybe I can just be inviting them for the sake of safety because people are very excited.
(09:13):
So we started by just inviting a few of our friends to come and chill.
Then uh someone tells you and people like,
where are you at?
I mean,
we go at Paula's place.
Why is that before you realize someone has called another?
Someone has called another and it's like that.
Then the house is full and people came from everywhere.
Nairobi,
Mombasa,
(09:35):
Tuana,
I mean everywhere.
So everybody used to know we land in Kisumu,
we land in Kisumu actually is Paula's house.
I thank God for even the person I was dating at that time.
She,
she was very understanding and accommodative and uh I feel good when II I think about that space because it served people in many different ways,
(09:56):
people who are not,
well,
they would just come and,
and that time,
there was so much love within the community.
Now,
Apollo Place became that place where everybody could come to.
When they have challenges,
we even had people whose parents uh when they were discovering about them would send them away or they would fight or they would beat them properly.
And then the only place they could run to is my house.
(10:19):
In fact,
uh you have been to my place,
the place I was staying,
it had a very big sitting room,
the dining space and the sitting room.
So what I did was to invest in mattresses.
So whenever someone would come and people are mean,
we just spread the mattress from here to to the end.
And now because I was also financially stable,
I was working,
I would just equip the fridge to enable us to,
(10:41):
to have food,
to eat for the day.
Or sometimes even some of them would come and uh come with food or if they want to drink,
they carry drinks.
So it's a place where even this cat walking thing used to happen there.
It was just a free space for everyone.
(11:07):
Even sometimes I think I even shocked my neighbors.
I can remember one time they saw a Lido Ali do is a well known queer Christian feminist.
They head up Kiss Lab,
which is an organization based in Kisumu.
It stands up for the rights of LBQ women and they're wondering like,
hey,
and uh is this a girl,
is this a boy that actually asking me like this?
(11:30):
You have funny friends.
I'm telling you they're blessed.
Those guys are blessed in some ways.
We were blessed.
It was such fun,
a place to party and celebrate.
It's really tough being open.
(11:52):
The LGBT Q here in Kenya,
people are disowned by friends and family harassed,
attacked and sometimes killed back then in 2008,
when Paula opened up her doors,
it was even harder.
We didn't have as many support groups as we do now.
So that Kisumu House was a lifeline in so many ways.
(12:15):
And politeness really captures the mood.
You feel so free.
You know,
because you're not afraid to hug anyone there,
you're not afraid to kiss anyone there.
You're not afraid to actually just show yourself who you are.
It would be a meeting place for couples and she was OK with it.
And we understood I came out publicly because of Paula.
(12:36):
I came to know my gender identity because of Paula and she was very supportive when I was still confused between my gender.
Then uh she could take me through a lot of education and I came across this word called transgender.
And I told Paula that,
you know,
this is exactly who I am.
I don't know,
I feel comfortable uh because I know this term and I would wish one day if I could start transitioning Maurice O Ching did begin his transition journey.
(13:11):
Perhaps if he hadn't met Paula and through her other transgender people and support networks,
he wouldn't have and his life would have been very different for politeness.
It was personal and it was also political,
a space for debating and strategizing Paula's house is where we kind of consolidated the idea of the LGBTI movement.
(13:39):
We wanted to have this movement,
wanted to,
you know,
give services to people.
And you know,
we just realized that um it's not just about your sexuality,
you can explore other points of life and it is in in my house that the serious queer movement in Kisumu started because there is where we sat and talked about,
we can form something that can include everyone.
(14:02):
And that is how Nyk was born in that space.
That's the Nyanza Rift Valley and Western Kenya Network,
a coalition of groups which advocate for the rights of LGBT Q Kenyans in that part of the country.
That is how three W was born in that space.
Three W is women working with women,
a support group for lesbians,
(14:22):
bisexuals and queer women in Western Kenya in the end.
Sadly,
Paula's house became a different place.
Remember,
politeness talked about stealing and the feeling that the house was being targeted.
(14:44):
Well,
the break ins got worse and worse and Paula,
she ended up having two very public,
very messy relationship breakups.
And slowly people started to drift away from the house and from Paula,
I remember when me and,
and dinner came,
I remember feeling very sad because I walked into your house and that was the first time I saw you alone and I was like,
(15:11):
where did all the people go?
Well,
uh,
sometimes this,
this movement is funny.
People used to have so much love for each other until the donor money came in.
That is when you started seeing the love for each other,
it could disappear.
It became strange that after everybody opened up,
I mean,
no one has time for each other.
(15:33):
And I mean,
you're supposed to be a people that you know,
that you are,
you are being targeted out there and you know that,
I mean,
you're being discriminated and you feel the best thing you can do is to hold yourself together.
But we missed that somewhere along the way.
It got all mixed up until I felt at some point.
I think I'm just better off keeping away from community that is going to make me sad.
(16:01):
Nowadays,
Pala lives 50 or so kilometers north of Kisumu in a smaller town called Kama.
It's right next door to Kenya's only tropical rain forest.
It's really beautiful,
but it's not known for being queer friendly something Paula is trying to change through her organization called Jami Kenya.
It's an organization that works now.
(16:23):
Through religious space to ensure that anyone whose right is violated,
then we're able to reach out and support them.
We,
we came to the house and I'll never forget.
I,
I opened the door and,
(16:44):
and that is where we met.
It was like salve for my heart going back and seeing her and seeing that she was happier than the last time I saw her and she was doing other things and she was happy and she was laughing and you know,
(17:04):
there's a time LeToya came to visit me,
Lael Johnston in Kama.
For those of you who don't know LaToya Johnson is a transgender model and designer.
She's breaking barriers in Kenya's fashion scene.
She's bright and bold and sure to turn heads,
especially in a smaller place like Kaka Mega.
And you know LaToya is flamboyant,
(17:26):
you a woman walking and,
and she,
she's a model.
At the same time.
I took advantage of the Jamba,
you,
you run to the road and just get into the car where she's sitting,
everybody is staring.
So guys ran after the tire up to the car and they came knocking.
They went to see,
(17:46):
is that a woman?
Is that a man?
This is Kaka mega.
And for a minute I got scared,
I'm like,
000000,
we need to do a lot of sensitization.
Paula is still doing the work to reduce stigma and open people's hearts to people like me.
(18:08):
We leave Paula and Kaka Mega causing a stir and doing her inspiring work.
There's just one loose end for me to try and tie up.
When I pitched this story to Afro Queer,
I didn't see this as my own story.
I saw myself as a storyteller on the outside telling the story that is Paula's house.
(18:32):
But how did I come to know about Paula and her house in the first place?
Because I was outed by someone in my family and then sent away by my mother.
And so finally,
the time to talk with my mom has arrived,
right?
To understand why she felt it was necessary to send me to Kiso and for her to hear what it meant to me and how going to Paula's house allowed me to be who I am.
(18:57):
Sadly,
my mom wouldn't let me record the conversation,
but at least we talked,
it was painful for her,
right?
And like I feel like I,
I spoke like I was just trying to comfort her with my words.
I don't worry,
I understand how hard this is for you.
Right?
At least she didn't,
you know,
go into like I want grandchildren.
(19:18):
You know,
the main take,
I was like,
life is short and if this is what it makes you happy,
that's fine.
And I think that's much better.
And I told her like you're doing much better than a lot of people's parents.
I need you.
I let me give you your flowers.
(19:39):
To be honest,
like this journey has also just like given me a few wet eye moments,
you know,
and understanding that Paula's house was a very large piece of a puzzle that has led me to,
to where I am now.
It's made me be like happier with where I am.
(19:59):
It's helped me realize how far I've come,
how far organizing has come,
how far the community has come,
how much good has happened?
So this has been a been a good journey.
It's been cathartic.
Yeah.
(20:31):
What a journey,
Annette.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
This episode was reported by Annette Aano and Tevin Suti,
produced by Penny Dale with assistance from Annette Acho written by Penny Dale.
Our story editor is Carrie Donohue.
(20:52):
Tevin Suti is our sound editor and Rachel Wo is our social media manager.
Afro Queer is executive produced by me,
Sally Chum.
Our theme song is Power by Maya and The Big Sky Afro Queer is supported by the wellspring Philanthropic Fund and the Ford Foundation.
We are proud to have partnered on this episode with the Africa Rights 2021 festival,
(21:15):
the U K's largest celebration of literature from Africa and the diaspora organized by the Royal African Society.
Join Annette and others on Tuesday the 19th of October at Africa rights for a virtual discussion about this episode by heading to www dot Africa rights.org or check our show notes This partnership is supported by the British Council's Digital Collaboration Fund.
(21:40):
You can follow us on all our social media platforms at Africa Podcast and you can listen to all our episodes on our website www dot Africa podcast.com or anywhere you get your podcasts.
I'm Sally Chum.
Thanks for listening.
All I need,
grow up our need.
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