Pathfinder: Dawn of the Frogs, Part One

It's RPG time! Margaret and company are playing Pathfinder. This week, our heroes begin their journey.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Cool Zone Media.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Book What have I done? Hello, and welcome to Cool
Zone Media book Club, the only book club where actually

(00:27):
it's a bunch of podcasters playing role playing games instead
of reading books. It's not at all a book, that's right.
We are trying out something like that.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
It's a lot of books.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I have so many books on my table because we're
playing a role playing game this week. We are doing
something new, and we're going to be doing it for
more than just this week, because I don't know if
you all have ever played a role playing game, but
it lasts longer than an hour. I'm your host, Margaret Kildre,
but I'm not actually the game master of this game,
because the game master is none other than Jason Bowman,

(00:57):
who's the lead designer of one of the best things
to have up into tabletop role playing Pathfinder. If you're
not familiar with Pathfinder, Pathfinder is like but it's not
because instead I like it better than We're going to
be playing fantasy characters running through a world full of
I think frogs, because the game is called Dawn of Frogs.

(01:22):
That's right. I don't know there's an exclamation mark because
I don't have the book because I'm not the one
running it, but I like to believe there's an exclamation
mark after each and every word.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
Oh, there's definitely jazz hands.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh yeah, can we call them frog hands? Yes, I
have a frog hat. Why am I not wearing a
frog hat?

Speaker 4 (01:43):
You are wearing chain mail.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
It's on my character sheet. This is what I've been
trying to explain to everyone the whole time, and they're
asking why I'm wearing chain mail. It's on my character sheet.
I have chain mail. So this isn't book Club. We're
gonna call it the Cool Kids Table or cool Kids
at the Table. This is not actually agreed upon. I
just threw this into the script, but without further ado,
I would like to introduce Jason, hazel Io and Robert

(02:08):
who are our players and game masters. Only one of
them is the game master.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Well I guess that's my cue. Then, Hi there everybody.
I'm Jason Bowman. I'm the director of Games at Pizo
and boy, a long time ago, I wrote a little
game called Pathfinder. These days, i'm the team lead for
Pathfinder second Edition and all of our board games and
card games and stuff. So yeah, and I'm excited here
today to be running Dawn of the Frogs. It's a
new adventure that I wrote actually, so I'm excited to

(02:35):
run all of you through it, and I'm sure you'll
all do just great.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
I keep calling it rain of Frogs in my head,
but rain like r E I g h N. But
that's because of rain of blood. I just keep.

Speaker 5 (02:48):
Thinking there will be no dawn for the race of
Frogs like goth Mog and Return of the King, but
instead some guy boys staff frogs.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's probably what's going to happen.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
Hello. My name is Hazel Akisha. I am mostly just
an assistant on this podcast. I help pick out the
stories every week and write little scripts and write a transitions.
But I'm excited to be in front of the mic today.

Speaker 6 (03:17):
Hey, I'm io. I have a CV and wouldn't you
like to know it. I love to play the game
of life and I'm a they them and over to you. Robert.

Speaker 5 (03:28):
I'm Robert. I sit on the Internet and do podcasts
and sometimes, like right now, I play video games or
not video games games via podcasts.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's me. There's my introduction. We're actually just we just
live play video games.

Speaker 6 (03:44):
I've been trying to sell Margaret on this for years.

Speaker 5 (03:47):
Now, but without streaming, Margaret, I do want I don't
know if there's a co op option for Cyberpunk twenty
seventy seven, but.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
We could have some fun.

Speaker 6 (03:57):
I think you like it.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
I had to play it, and I hate when the
game tells you what to do, but when the story
is already in the game, it's not as fun to me.
I like the game where you have the giant map
and then everything is complicated and you run like sixteen
different economies and you can do evil things if you
want to, but I actually can't bring myself to ever.

Speaker 6 (04:17):
Yeah, you love like Stock Market Simulator, but in space games, yes, yes, Stilaris, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, Stilaris. There were three weeks of my life.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Ye, I'm totally neurotypical, but yeah, those are the players.
What's the game, Jason, Well.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Today, everybody, we're gonna be playing donather Frogs and without
further ado, I think I'm going to just get us going.
The dun Meyer is a gloomy and foreboding swamp. Yes,
beauty can be found within. In some spots, the sun's
light rarely reaches the water through the foliage above, while
in others, brightly colored swamp flowers and insects seem almost

(04:57):
to sparkle. The town of bog Bottom isn't a big place,
but it's one the locals have called home for generations. Yet,
now that some of the townsfolk have gone missing near
an old mill deep in the swamp, someone needs to
find out what happened to them. Spoilers. That someone is you.

(05:21):
The journey to the crumbling landmark takes several hours, and
while arduous, it's uneventful. Many predators lurk in the swamp,
but there's been no sign of their presence so far.
Far off, frogs chirp and croak, and flies buzz dreamily.
The crumbling wooden mill stands amid the mist, half sunken

(05:43):
into the swamp. The front door has been rotted away,
but the entrance is mostly blocked by thick vines. Someone
could possibly squeeze through these vines, or perhaps try and
cut them loose. Perhaps a clue to the villager's fate
lies within now. The group of you have been in
bog Bottom for some time. You arrived there several days ago,

(06:07):
having just fled from your most recent exploits, and when
news came to you that these villagers were missing. You
saw an opportunity, perhaps to earn some small amount of redemption,
or perhaps even more importantly, to earn some coin to
fill your empty pockets. The four of you have been
traveling for a few hours. This old crumbling mill is

(06:29):
not too far away from the swampy community of Bottom,
and now you stand with the mill somewhere up in
the distance. It's perhaps, you know, one hundred feet away
or so, looking at each other, sizing up the situation
and preparing for adventure. But before we do that, I
think we're going to throw it around the horn and
let everybody introduce their characters. Maybe tell us a little

(06:52):
bit about what you look like and kind of what
you're kitted out with. What do we see when we
look upon you? Spite? Why don't we start with you?

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Well, Spite is my name, it's my given name. I've
been named much like everyone else where I grew up.
We get named after the virtues. You know. I probably
talk about my sister Malice a lot. I really look
up to her. Spite is probably all of nineteen or
twenty years old. She's not one hundred percent certain, and
the crash doesn't keep really exact dates. She's wearing chain mail.

(07:25):
She has a helmet with a candle stuck to the top,
you know, so she can see where she's going. I
don't know why everyone thinks that's so strange. And she
does a lot of things that she doesn't realize people
realize are strange. All of her outfit is completely black
and red, just like normal outfits should be, and she's

(07:48):
wearing chain mail. She has a morning star that she
almost always has out because it's practically a fidget spinner.
There's a couple javelins strapped to her pack, and that's
spite she's human. Yeah, she's pretty sure she doesn't actually
know her birth parents are that kind of stuff as
a bourgeois like keeping track of actual birth parents does

(08:10):
not fly or spide is from squash.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Why don't you go next?

Speaker 6 (08:16):
Well, imagine a halfling. Great, you're doing it now. Imagine
a dog not so fast. This dog stands like a
man does, but with thumbs the whole thing. He's a shooney,
which are nasty little dog men. He's a sturdy trunk
of a boy, three feet tall and shaped like a friend.

(08:39):
He has a canine face. But if you like, smush
down the snow until the sinuses were kind of a
dead end where the air would go in and spin
around the brain and shoot right back out. Fans of
phrenology listening may describe his skull shape as fucked up.
He has piercing green eyes positions somewhere between predator and prey,

(09:00):
often facing the same direction. His friendly face is positively
littered with jowls and folds and tufts of unruly bad
boy cow licks that were you to see it in
our world, you would think, ah, a monument to man's hubris,
or maybe some sort of joke that God is playing
on wolves. But in this crazy mixed up world of Pathfinder,

(09:21):
he's a New York eight. He has long, flowing hair
that can only be described as bitchin, and he wears
a military style beret right on top of his damn head,
a belly button so deep it touches his spine. He
wears a half cape and a chain mail crop top
with a Mediterranean chest hair situation trailing down to leather

(09:44):
cut off breeches to cut a figure we can all
agree is really really sexy. He's got a big knife
that's also a gun with the serial number filed off,
so it looks like the fucking buster sword taped to
a derringer. He used to be a gentleman bank rob
for the rev until he got caught because he kept
shooting his name into the side of banks. But these

(10:06):
fine adventures all busted him out. What else his pronouns
any pronouns? Despite exclusively referring to himself as a he. Yeah,
he's one of those kinds of guys, but don't let
that fool you. This guy's great, and podcast listeners across
the nation agree. He's got a lot of heart, a
lot of chutzpah, and what the French call is certain.

(10:27):
I don't know what his name is, squash. Please don't
wear it out.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
I'm so glad I'm not following h.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Murdy. I do not envy you, but you can follow
up that.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
I didn't write myself a script for how to introduce
my characters, so listeners please bear with me. I am
playing Sister Murdragana Bow also as Murdy. She uses she
her pronouns. I am a half org Cleric for you
nerds out there, Technically I worship a rastal. However, I
have found myself as part of an erstwhile soup cult

(11:08):
to the God. You know, we're all about taking care
of the community. We hand out food, we give alms,
you know, maybe like food not bombs. Maybe like a
Catholic workers to say, I would face cast Murdy if
I was making the HBO special as tng Era Denise Crosby.
I've got light green gray skin and jet black straight hair.

(11:30):
Got triangle bangs, you know, the kind slick back lopu
and if you care about that kind of stuff. I'm
wearing a black linen dress which is aline insensibly swushy.
I got leather pouches and pockets on a built around
my waist, sort of like a waitress apron, again fitting
with the soup nun theme. Got leather armor, so sort
of like a cute, tight fitting crop top out of leather.

(11:53):
Just imagine it draw me some nice fannert. Yeah, I know.
I got one cool pauldron, very important. You can often
see me wielding a soup ladle and a chef's knife,
and I also have a cauldron full of a magical
perpetual stew on a bindle for easy carrying Murdy.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Soup Nuan soup nan.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
Last, but certainly not least trant introduce yourself.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
Well, yeah, so, you know, unlike the boss where I
come from, they didn't name us for our virtues. So
I got named for my dad, and he was not
a guy with a lot of virtues. Alcan stars in
h city for some people, but not my family. My
dad and my dad's dad made gunpowder, and they raised
me not to make waves, not to complain, not to
have an issue with the fact that, you know, my

(12:44):
whole life was living in a fucking slum making gunpowder.
The only thing they taught me that was of much
use was how to make gunpowder, and I got too
good at that, and then I did some things with
it that made me have to leave town in a hurry,
which is how I met up with this crew who
had some ideas for how to use the stuff I
knew how to make. That I preferred to the things
I was raised to do, so that's what I do.

(13:05):
I make bombs and allegedly other things that all have
more or less the same goal, which is to cause
problems for anyone in an area that I don't really
like what's going on there, or I'm just kind of
bored and I want something loud to happen. All of
these things are acceptable. I'm about six foot, non into
script looking, which has been helpful in the past because

(13:26):
it's really nice not to get recognized. I try to
wear a mask whenever I'm doing anything particularly interesting. I
keep as many bombs on me as I feel like
I can wear without exploding, and I usually avoid that,
although not always, as you can tell from the scars
on my hands and my neck and a couple other
parts of my body that I don't generally share with
other members of the adventuring troop because it's a bad

(13:47):
idea to shit where you eat. I keep a couple
of holdout pistols, one under each shoulder, and I keep
a blenderbuss on my back in case, you know, I
need faster solutions to problems, but I really prefer to
solve things with the mix of gunpowder and alchemy. It's
just easier that way. You don't have to be there,
you don't have to see what happens afterwards. You can

(14:07):
just watch the pretty lights and then run like hell.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
The reason we're in a backwater like bog Bottom is because,
as people might have guessed from what they heard, we
blew up a jail and let everyone out, and we
thought everyone in town would treat us like heroes, and
shockingly they did not.

Speaker 5 (14:26):
In my experience, they never do when you blow something up,
even when you.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
Give them soup.

Speaker 6 (14:31):
I really can't thank you enough.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
So for the people at bog Bottom, they might see
four fresh faced adventurers, but in reality they have four
dangerous malcontents in their mist But there are villagers that
need rescue. And as I mentioned before, your coin purses
are very light right now. In fact, the sea captain

(14:54):
that brought you to the Isle of Quartos dropped you
off at the shore when he found you didn't have
enough money to make it all the way to Absalom,
so you were just kind of left at the shore.
You're lucky he didn't drop you off in the middle
of the inner seat.

Speaker 5 (15:10):
I offered to pay him with a bomb, and he
took that as some sort of threat.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
As it turns out, boats don't really like bomb payments,
not good food.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
We're gonna pay him later anyway, possibly with a bomb.

Speaker 6 (15:24):
Oh, I'll pay him, Uh huh, that's sours.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
He's a pressing people. I'm a champion just by.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
The Yeah, he's oppressing people. By demanding that you pay him.

Speaker 6 (15:36):
Huh yeah, fucking fascists everywhere I look.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
So the four of you are currently standing outside of
this old mill. The base of this mill is made
of fieldstone, the upper floors look like they're made of wood.
The entire thing is tilting kind of dangerously to one side.
This is a windmill, and most of its blades are
fallen off. There's like the fragment of one and the

(16:03):
skeleton of another still attached to the front of the building.
Although you can't imagine that the mills inner workings are
intact at all. In fact, you can see one of
the kind of blades laying in the swamp muck next
to you. Up ahead, you can see the darkened entrance
that goes inside the mill's interior. You're here primarily because

(16:24):
the people who went missing were out in this area
doing some swamp fishing, and they just never came back.
So you've arrived at this kind of old, crumbling mill.
As I mentioned before, the way in looks kind of blocked.
There's vines. You could maybe squeeze through it, or perhaps
you could cut them away. There are I'm sure other

(16:46):
options as well. This being a swamp It is pretty
damp and muddy around these parts. The ground underneath you
kind of makes a squelching noise with every step, but
as you get closer to the mill itself there is
a bit more firmer round.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Does it look like anyone's been here?

Speaker 4 (17:03):
Like?

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Does it look like like are the vines disturbed in
any way?

Speaker 3 (17:07):
It definitely looks like the vines haven't fully grown over
the opening, So it's quite possible that something's been going
in or out. But if you want to know more
about whether or not perhaps anybody's been coming this way recently,
I would ask for one of you to make me
a survival check to look for tracks.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Any of us any good at that I got plus three?

Speaker 4 (17:29):
I'm decent at that I've got plus four?

Speaker 3 (17:31):
All right, go ahead and give me a survival skill.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
Check though.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
A right first roll of the game?

Speaker 4 (17:39):
That is it ten on the dice, so total of fourteen.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Looking around, you can tell that there are definitely some
tracks in the muck, but it's a little hard for
you to make out whether or not they're humanoid tracks
or perhaps animal tracks. The ground here is just so
soft that the recent rains and mists have kind of
worn it into just kind of a morass. It's clear
that there's been some traffic.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Hey, squash, every time I step it sounds like your name, scorsh, scorsh.

Speaker 6 (18:07):
The swamp is alive with a sound of squash. Is
this mill? This mill is pretty dilapidated.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah, yeah, it doesn't look like this mill has been
in use for several years at least.

Speaker 6 (18:20):
Is there some like crumbling infrastructure. Maybe a cool dog
could do a flip intwo like big holes in the roof.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
That's way too high up. I mean the mill itself
is probably about forty feet tall.

Speaker 6 (18:33):
You don't know this dog, but point.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Your acrobatic skills are truly legendary. But you're you're pretty
sure you couldn't flip up that high. Your best bet
is going to be to try to wiggle through the
vines or cut them away or something.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
I take out a dagger and walk up and start
cutting vines.

Speaker 6 (18:51):
Okay, this is gonna take forever, trance.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
You know I could do that faster. Good point, Good point.
I step back. I'm gonna grab one of my u
what are they called the uh bus?

Speaker 5 (19:04):
No, No, I've got I've got bombs. I don't want
to use them. I've got a versatile flask. Can I
use one of those to make a lesser alchemists fire
and try to burn the shit away?

Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, you can give that a shot. So you you
break out your versatile vial and using some of the
reagents that you have on you kind of squirreled away
in the many pouches that you have.

Speaker 5 (19:21):
See, this is why I've been collecting and drying pea. Everybody.
By the way, saltpeter doesn't just grow on trees.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
I thought you just were composting it.

Speaker 5 (19:31):
Kind of The issue isn't that I didn't believe you.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
The issue is that I did believe you.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
So why don't you go ahead and throw a bomb?
So go ahead and make unattack.

Speaker 5 (19:44):
Le Yes, okay, okay, I get my D twenty.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
I'm standing back by the way. I know I was
up there with a knife a moment ago, but I leave.

Speaker 5 (19:51):
That's a good move because that role did not turn
out great.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
That's a four.

Speaker 5 (19:56):
And then let's see here one of my plus plus
so nine.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Well, it doesn't quite hit the mark. The bomb kind
of hits the wall next to it. And while it
does sear some of the vines a bit you're gonna
wager that they're so damp and kind of swollen with
swamp buck that your bomb really probably isn't gonna have
too much of an effect unless you want to use
a lot of them.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
You know, there are problems that molotovs don't solve.

Speaker 5 (20:22):
I say, all right, I think I've got I mean,
we could try a reverse Molotov. I could freeze them
flov is, like drinking it or something that's called a
good Thursday.

Speaker 6 (20:36):
Every time I throw a Molotov, there's one problem. And
you throw a Molotov and boom right away, you got
a different problem.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 6 (20:44):
Definitely stole that.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, anyway, Yeah, team, I'm gonna cut it with my name.

Speaker 6 (20:49):
Yeah, let's go back to sword, all right.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
So this isn't gonna be an attack role. It's more like,
can you pry it open and use your blades and
weapons to destroy it? So we're gonna call it an
f LETEX check. Anybody got athletics you can try that.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Oh I'm good at that.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Yeah, why don't you give me an athletics check?

Speaker 2 (21:06):
In the crash? Would they make us? I mean, we
choose to run every day and do a lot of
exercises for the revolution and the glory of God. I
am too busy saying that to actually be paying attention
to what I'm doing. So I rolled it two and
I got a total of naing right start, Yeah, I
have a plus seven at this goddamn thing.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
The dice rolling here is just phenomenal.

Speaker 6 (21:27):
We're really screaming.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
This is actually a historically cursed die, but it's the prettiest,
so I always use it.

Speaker 6 (21:33):
Aesthetics will be the death of you.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
I can't fault you. So you begin working at these vines,
but you're just not having much luck. No matter how
you try. There seems to be just more vines. There's
just more and more here. Would someone else like to try?
Someone with less cursed dice?

Speaker 2 (21:48):
I think this is actually impossible. I say, there's no
way they could have gone in here.

Speaker 6 (21:54):
I spit on both my hands and rub them together,
and I say, like, let's see your God try this.
And I pull out my big, odd damn sword and
try and pry this bad boy open.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
I step back again.

Speaker 6 (22:06):
Wait, what am I rolling?

Speaker 3 (22:08):
An athletics check?

Speaker 6 (22:09):
Okay, that's a fourteen.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
So you continue to work away at these vines, and
after a bit of struggle. You've managed to clear a
wide enough way that you think everybody could possibly squeeze inside.
That's right. Maybe it might take a little bit of effort,
but you're wagering that everybody could kind of worm their
way in there.

Speaker 6 (22:29):
I raise my arms and say Squash, and I wriggle
on inside.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
I use the mud to say your name.

Speaker 5 (22:36):
I'm just saying we could use more bombs.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Ie making squashing noises, and then I follow you. Yeah,
I head in.

Speaker 6 (22:42):
Yeah, I'm also following You're right, we should have used
more bombs. And everyone gets inside and they see Squash
pissing freely into a empty soda can and giving trant
to big thumbs up.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
So you all managed to squeeze inside. The floor side
the old mill has rotted away, and the massive millstone
has sunken halfway into the muck. A sagging staircase nearby
leads up to the floor above. Suddenly, the mud stirs
as a trio of dog size swamp beetles erupt up

(23:18):
from the film Oh need, oh brother. All right, everybody,
we are about to go into our first combat.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
It's too late to already have my shield a morning
star out.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yeah, I'm afraid it is, so it goes. So we've
got three of these massive swamp beetles. Like I said,

(23:53):
these things are about two and a half beat long
and they just come burrowing up out of the muck.
So what I'm gonna do is, I'm going to ask
each of you to roll initiative. And in Pathfinder, you
can roll a lot of things for initiative, but for
this first fight, we're gonna have you roll perception. So
go ahead and give me a perception check. Keep the

(24:15):
number to yourself here just for a moment, and I
will go around and collect it from you.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Great ooh yeah, I don't think I'm gonna go anywhere
without my shield out in the future.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
That is certainly something we can note. All right, why
don't I go around and collect everyone's initiative? Murdy, What
did you get?

Speaker 4 (24:38):
I got a fifteen on the dice, so that is
twenty teen, so twenty.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
Two, all right, that's pretty good, squash. What do you got? Also?

Speaker 6 (24:45):
Twenty two?

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Which one of you would like to go first? It's
your choice.

Speaker 4 (24:50):
I can give everybody like a pretty decent boon. We
want to take advantage of that.

Speaker 6 (24:55):
I love a boon.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
Sure, all right, we'll leave it like that. Trance, what
do you got?

Speaker 5 (25:00):
I got a seventeen seventeen and Spie, what did you get?

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Roll of fifteen for a total of nineteen.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
Well, you all beat the initiative of my poor, poor
beetles who did very poorly. All right, everybody, here we
are in the first round of combat. So we've got
three beetles that have come burrowing up out of the muck.
It looks like crawling up out of this swamp goo
has really slowed them down, giving you all quite the
edge at the top of the order. Squash, you'll get

(25:31):
to go first.

Speaker 6 (25:33):
Squash trying to pull his pants up after trying to
make what was sure to be a beautiful bomb. One
hand shoots from the hip his big sword that's also
a gun. His gun sword shoots whichever beatle's closest.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
So you're gonna draw your weapon and you're gonna fire.
So that's two of your actions.

Speaker 6 (25:52):
Yeah bang.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Looking at where you're at, it looks like you're gonna
be firing at that first beetle over there on the left.
It's kind of crawling up around the millstone, between the
millstone and the ruins stairs so go ahead and give
me an attack roller.

Speaker 6 (26:06):
It's not what I want it to be, so I
rolled a six plus seven for a total of thirteen.

Speaker 3 (26:15):
The bullet from your pistol goes gliding right past the beetle,
just barely missing it, impacting the muck right behind it. Now,
I believe you're gonna have to reload that pistol, so
you cannot fire it again for your third action, but
you could reload.

Speaker 6 (26:30):
Ugh ah, I'm reloading. This guy's gonna fucking get it
next time, all right.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
So you take a shot with your pistol, it comes
up a hair short, and then you take a moment
to reload. That is the end of Squash's turn. Next up, Murdy,
We've got beetles all around you. They are uninjured, their
mandibles are clicking menacingly. What do you do?

Speaker 4 (26:53):
Basing nasty? So I am gonna raise my shield and
I'm gonna cast less, which as a spell, counts for
two actions, and it's going to give myself and my
allies a plus one status bonus to all its tact
rolls as long as you stay with them.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Fifteen feet of meat, all right, So that is currently everybody,
because you just clustered in after crawling through the vine,
so everybody has that bonus on attack rolls, and after
calling down the blessings of aer still to the group.
That is the end of Murdy's turn spite. We're turning
it over to you. Will your name say?

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Hold up, I'm going to use my defensive advance that
is blessed upon me. I learned it in school when
I worshiped Milani, the goddess that I worship. So I'm
going to raise my shield stride confidently forward, right out
of range of the blessed spell, right next to that
beetle to my right. And also, oh, before I do this,

(27:53):
I'm drawing my morning Star, and then I'm using this
two action thing that lets me raise my shield stride
and strike. All right, So that's what I'm doing. And
when I mentioned that this die does not roll particularly well,
I would like to say that the total I got
was an eight, but the number I rolled was a one.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
So that would be a critical failure. You swing wildly
around your your morning Star, flailing through the ear nearly
hitting trench right in the face, because he's right next
to you and just within a hair's breadth of his nose,
but but you otherwise don't suffer any ill effects. The
beatle kind of looks at you like were you were

(28:37):
you trying to hit me?

Speaker 2 (28:40):
Ill max on my damage. I rolled max damage because
I rolled at the same time.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
You nearly did max damage to your friend's face. But
the beetle is unscathed.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's my turn.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Well, trans were down to you. Next up the Beatles go.
The rest of your cohort has bravely not damaging any
beetles yet, so it's down to you. All right.

Speaker 5 (29:06):
Don't worry, boss, I got this fire in the hole,
and then I'm gonna throw up an alchemist fire at
the nearest beetle right in front of spite.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Now, I do happen to know that you were a bomber,
and being a bomber means that you do have the
option of having the splash damage from your bomb only
hit the beetle, because when you throw a bomb, it
caused a splash, so it damages the area around it.
But you don't have to use that ability. The question
I have for you is whether or not you are.

Speaker 5 (29:37):
Yeah, yeah, it's the boss, all right, unless I miss,
unless there's a mistake.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, oh I rolled a natural twenty.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Well, that's definitely.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Can we switch dice.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
The beetle, who was entirely missed by the previous attack,
is kind of just looking around and I'm disoriented, and you,
from just right over spited shoulder tossed this alchemist's fire
directly into its little beetle face. So go ahead and
roll damage for the alchemist fire.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
It out of the air with its mouth reflexibly as.

Speaker 3 (30:17):
If trying to play fetch seven seven points of damage,
which is entirely doubled plus the splash damage you emilate
this beetle. The alchemist fire lands on the beetle, shattering
across its carapace and cooking it thoroughly. In one moment,

(30:37):
the beetle has been destroyed.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
That'll teach you to be an animal.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
I just met.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Oh we are in its house. I hadn't thought of
the moral complications of this before.

Speaker 5 (30:49):
Oh gosh, boss, if you're God wanted that beatle alive,
I wouldn't have hit it so hard.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
That's a good point.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
So that was only your first act because you have
quick bomber. Uh huh, So you do still have two
more actions.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
Can I throw another bomb?

Speaker 3 (31:08):
You can but remember in half Finder, each attack you
make in one turn after the first takes a penalty.
That penalty is usually five. Okay, I mean, but if
you keep rolling twenties, it doesn't.

Speaker 5 (31:20):
Yeah, I think I've got to throw it at the
one most directly in front of me. I guess I
can step up in front of Margaret and then take
a throw.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Yeah, you could move forward a hair if you want, Yeah,
no problem.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Then I'm gonna hurl another bomb.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
One of the Beatles is crawling up over the half
sunken millstone, and you just lobbed the bomb directly at it,
So go ahead.

Speaker 5 (31:40):
I brought a house swarm and present I did not.
That's gonna be an eight for a total of I
guess it's minus five plus plus your plus my bonus,
which with these is five, So just an eight.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
That just can't that.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Well, that's convenient. So this bomb goes soaring over the beetle,
landing just behind him. Now, because it's a bomb and
you missed, you didn't critically miss it still like explodes
right next to the beetle and does the splash damage
to it, So it is still going to take one
point of fire damage there.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
You go.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
I got him started.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
So the beetle has been slightly singed, and that is
the end of your turn.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
My moms did always say they hated the Beatles. This
must be what they meant.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
Clearly. The Beatles, having seen one of their ill burned
down to the exoskeleton, are clicking with furious anger as
the first one comes marching up to Squash, It's mandibles
clicking wildly, And it is going to come up to
Squash and attempt to bite you with its mandibles.

Speaker 6 (32:52):
Good luck.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
So I'm going to get a grand total of eight,
which is not going to be enough to hit you.
I can't image in your issue. Is undoubtedly better than.

Speaker 6 (33:01):
An eight, Absolutely it is.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
So that is not going to do it. And with
its final action, it's going to attempt to bite you again,
even though it has a remote chance of hitting. No,
that's definitely not going to do it either. So that
beetle comes up and furiously attempts to catch you with
its mandibles, but frankly you're able to dance away from
its bite without too much trouble. The other beetle, this
one was lightly scorched by the alchemist fire, is going

(33:26):
to crawl up to the front of this millstone right
next to Trent. Its beetle legs clicking across the stone's surface,
and as it makes its way up to you, trant
is going to attempt to bite you with its mandibles.
Do you have an armor class of sixteen or less?

Speaker 5 (33:41):
Nope, seventeen, baby, better beetles than you have tried.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
Beetle desperately tries to get a hold of you, even
getting so closest to get its mandibles around your overcoat,
but it does not manage to connect and you pull
away safely.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
You got to learn how to move fast when you
make bombs.

Speaker 3 (33:58):
With its final action, it's going to attempt to attack
once again. Terrible does a terrible job. It's it's mandibles
close around nothing but air with a roll a grand tole.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Of a four first level fights.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
Baby, Yeah, you know, hey, you live by the die,
you die by the die. In this case, the Beatles
are not looking too good. All right, we're back to
the top of the order. Squash its back to you.
What do you do.

Speaker 6 (34:22):
I'm gonna draw my glave and I'm gonna run this
little bastard through, all.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
Right, So you draw your glove. That's your first action,
and for your second action, you're gonna go ahead and
make an attack, So why don't you go ahead and
give me an attackle?

Speaker 6 (34:36):
Mmm, well it is one, is the thing?

Speaker 3 (34:40):
Okay?

Speaker 6 (34:40):
Yeah, I rolled the one.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
It is a complete miss.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Then.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
Uh so you bring the huge glave down attempting to
crush the beetle, but the glave is so long you
actually missed the beatle entirely and hit the muck behind it.
You can make another attack, but that had no effect.

Speaker 6 (34:58):
Mmmm, it's better than nothing.

Speaker 4 (35:02):
And you are still close to me. So you're taking
plus one?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah, less, so total of a plus three, I think right?

Speaker 6 (35:08):
All right, one more again. I rolled at fourteen for
a total of seventeen.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
All right, this one is going to connect. Your glave
does manage to catch the beatles care pace, Go ahead
and roll damage.

Speaker 6 (35:26):
That's a five and I get a plus two on
my glave, so seven damage.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
Your glave catches the beetle in the back of its
carapace and it splits open, spilling a sickly white goo
into the swamp. The beetle is dead.

Speaker 6 (35:45):
Yes, And I get right up close to its ear
and I say it's been a hars day's night and
I've been working like a dog.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
But do you know what else kills?

Speaker 5 (35:56):
I mean the real ringo who killed you know or
you know what was killed by the fake ringo? I
guess so the fake ring the current ringo killed the
real Ringo.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
Sorry? Who Also? I believe it's one of the ringos
that sponsors our show? Is that? That's right? It's the
dead Ringo. The dead Ringo sponsors our show.

Speaker 5 (36:14):
It was the only thing in his will.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Yeah, and I think some other ads too, But the
most important thing is that dead Ringo to sponsored the
show and we're back.

Speaker 5 (36:31):
Yeah, quick correction, it was actually Pete Best that sponsored
the show.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Sorry, we make mistakes all the time. Unfortunately, there's no
way to go back and edit.

Speaker 5 (36:40):
So, just like the Beatles when they replaced Pete Best
with Ringo anyway, well when they recorded those songs.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yeah, I have nothing against the Beatles. I don't actually
care one way or the other about this.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
These swamp Beatles beg to differ. Speaking of which, we
are back in the middle of combat. Two of the
three Beatles are now dead, and all that remains is
one perched atop the millstone, slightly singed by a bomb. Murdy,
it is your turn, all right.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
I am paying very close attention to my blessed bell
to keep it up. I am going to run right
up to the beetle next to Trent. Let's see if
I can get this thing to move on a little
twenty and that should be within my twenty five moves absolutely.
And then because the beetles like up on the millstone,

(37:27):
I want to take my soup ladle and like try
to deck it and get it to fall off the thing.
I'm just gonna roll my club. I rolled a seventeen
on the dive, plus my three bonus is twenty.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
Twenty connects right with its little beetle face.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
Okay, and I do too damage.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
To damage, not enough to drive it from the millstone,
but plenty enough to irritate it. The beetle looks at
you menacingly. It's mandible snapping. You still have one action left?

Speaker 4 (37:58):
Yeah, I'm doing the eye thing. I've got to. I
don't know how to describe this real podcast.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
They're matching its gaze with your fingers.

Speaker 6 (38:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
Yeah, it's like a peace sign, but.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
All peace signs are for violence. That's how we get peace.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Spite you are up next, ready for some more peaceful violence.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
I'm going to pacify this beetle. I'm going to use
defensive advance. I'm going to step up to the left
of murdy all right, and I am going to raise
my shield, stride forward confidently, and this time remember how
to hold the morning Star and get a seventeen on
the die for a total of twenty four. You take

(38:44):
twenty five twenty five? Is that a crit.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
Twenty five is a critical hit? You bring the morning
start down, cracking it right in the middle of its carapace.
Go ahead and roll damage and double it for me.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
All right?

Speaker 2 (38:57):
So I got three plus four is seven times two
is fourteen damage.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
There is now a gooey smear where there was at
one point in time a beetle.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Oh that's kind of gross, I say.

Speaker 6 (39:12):
Ew yuck.

Speaker 4 (39:14):
Do you think we could eat this? Does any of
this look edible like a lobster?

Speaker 3 (39:18):
Well, so there's one thing I need to resolve real quickly.
When you smash this beetle, this beetle spatters when it dies,
and it splashes all three of you. That would be
all three of you that are right up next to it.
That is spite Mrdy and Trant. All three of you
gets spattered with this caustic beetle goo. All of you

(39:39):
take one point of acid damage as the beetle's innerds
scorch and burn your skin.

Speaker 5 (39:47):
You calling that acid down. I've taken worse acid damage
from me.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
It is really more of a love singe at this point.

Speaker 6 (39:58):
I have a big handful of gear that I that
I like shake off my hand. It's just like no
goofer squash today.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
Yeah, you're lucky because technically squash I forgot they had
that ability. You should have taken a point of damage
as well when you killed the beetle next to you.
What are you gonna do? I forgot, so I guess
you're immune. You heard it.

Speaker 6 (40:20):
Everyone that's cannon forever.

Speaker 3 (40:21):
No, I'm gonna have a rit of that right now.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
I have so many rags in all of my pack
and my cook wear for wiping down surfaces. We can
get this taken care of. No big deal.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I just like hold out my arms in hand for
you to clean off.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
Fortunately, the acid the moment it's exposed to air, it
apparently neutralizes pretty quick. It's just that initial exposure that
burns for a moment. But yeah, the three beetles have
now been defeated. The last of the beatles lies dead
on the floor, leaving this area open for exploration. Although
the ground floor of the old mill is now quiet
and still somewhere above on another floor, two creatures are

(41:03):
having a conversation. The only way up appears to be
a rickety staircase that SAgs off the nearby wall, looking
like it might collapse at any moment. So, now the
combat's done and you're inside the mill, you can there's
a lot of things you could do. Right. You could
take a look around see if there is anything to
be discovered down here on the ground floor of the mill.

(41:25):
You could perhaps listen in on these voices and see
what there is to hear. You could take a look
at the stairs. You could even start trying to climb
the stairs. But there doesn't seem to be any active
threats down here on the ground floor.

Speaker 5 (41:37):
I'm gonna prep another couple of alchemists fires from my
quick stashes while we were searching around.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
You're gonna get your versatile whiles back, because you're down
at least.

Speaker 5 (41:44):
One, Yes, I'm down one, and yeah another, well two
more actually say yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:50):
Does anybody care to be healed for a single healing point?

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Oh, I'm okay, it just stings a little. I kind
of like it.

Speaker 6 (41:58):
Can I listen in to what the conversation is or
is it just too faint?

Speaker 3 (42:03):
You can attempt to give me a perception check.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
I'm gonna do this also, all right, I would also
like to try to.

Speaker 6 (42:10):
Listen as a ten plus five for a total of fifteen.

Speaker 4 (42:16):
All right, I have eight plus seven, which is also fifteen.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
I have a nineteen plus four for total of twenty three.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
So murdy squash. The two of you kind of listen in,
but between your kind of squelching in the muck below
and just the general sounds of the swamp, you don't
make out much. But spite your hearing is just a
hair cleaner, And although you can't make out what is
being said, you can make out what sounds to be
like a low, rumbling kind of guttural sound. It almost

(42:51):
sounds like.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Croaking when you say croaking, Am I able to be
like that? Sounds like a giant frog? Or is it
like more of them? I don't think those are people talking.
I think that there's a bunch of frogs upstairs. They
probably got trapped here by the Beatles because if they
came down, the Beatles would have killed them. And so
we were saving the innocent frogs by killing those beetles.

(43:14):
We liberated those frogs upstairs.

Speaker 6 (43:19):
Yes, great works fight.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Yeah, whatever you say, boss, Sure that's what happened.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
So Trance still needs some time to finish making his vials.
So while that's happening, the rest of you can look
around the area, take a look at the stairs. If
there's anything else you want to do, you have a
few moments to do it. Trant's vials takes ten minutes
to make.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
I'm Megan, one of them's asset. I'm just scooping up
some beetle goop for it. If it's a ten minute thing,
then I might heal myself with lay on hands and
then refocus.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Sure that could be what you do. Yeah, that's easy.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
And so I reached down and I touched my hand
and I whisper Malani, I got burned. I was doing good.
And then Malani magically heals my hand. And then I
sit down and I take off my helmet and I
light the candle and I pray over my helmet for
about ten minutes, silently staring at everyone who gets too close.

Speaker 6 (44:15):
Squash is looking at this and it's just like, Damn,
I should get into God or something.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
Maybe I should find religion.

Speaker 6 (44:23):
That seems pretty bitch. And I turned to Murdy and
I say, you worship.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
What is it?

Speaker 6 (44:28):
Arasco? I'm a bit of a rascal myself. What's this
guy's deal?

Speaker 4 (44:32):
What's a rascal's dealer? What's Malanie's? I don't know shit
about Milani, And honestly, I don't even know that much
about a rascal. I'm just kind of here for the soup.

Speaker 6 (44:40):
Damn. My kind of guy.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
Show up for the prayers about family and home and heart,
stay for the soup. All right. So it sounds like
Spike and Trent are busy. That leaves Murdy and Squash.
You've had a bit of a discussion about religion. Do
you want to take a look around? Do you want
to take a look at the stairs? There's anything you
want to do before we just kind of move forward?

Speaker 4 (45:01):
Yeah? Do we want to try to climb the stairs?
I have a climbing kit on me, and I could
try to rig something to make it safer to climb
the stairs.

Speaker 6 (45:11):
That's smart. I'm in the middle of being like, what
do you think about like like God? Like I've been
hearing about God too, the sequel to God. Oh you're
getting out? Okay, Yeah, let's no, let's let's let's let's
go up the stairs. But let's let's be really let's
be stunny about it.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
Yeah. The God that I'm into is into doing things
and not so much into thinking specific thoughts.

Speaker 5 (45:32):
I mean, if you're looking for something to believe in
more powerful than yourself, I can suggest bombs.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
I glare at everyone for talking so loudly.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
Very trustworthy.

Speaker 6 (45:43):
Now do you have some pamphlets about this? Because of
this second?

Speaker 5 (45:45):
I absolutely have some pamphlets. Now, if you get caught
with one of these pamphlets, you will get in a
lot of trouble.

Speaker 6 (45:52):
But yes, I do have zeeines.

Speaker 4 (45:54):
In my inventory, and I will hand one to Squash
about how to make soup for three hundred.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
I have a similar pamphlet about bombs.

Speaker 6 (46:01):
I'm unzipping my backpack and taking a bunch of us
on taking out lend us bread and stuff.

Speaker 5 (46:08):
Now, this is how to make bombs for three hundred pamphlets.
So you just got to divide the amount of fertilizer,
buy three hundred to make a one person bomb.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Don't fuck that part up?

Speaker 6 (46:18):
Okay, taking notes?

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Are we going to make the food and bombs joke?

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Now? Why can't be both? That depends on how much
chili you can make? Murdy, Can you give me a
perception check as you're taking a look at these stairs?

Speaker 4 (46:36):
Sure can? That was a thirteen on the dive plus
seven is twenty.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
So you take a look at the stairs and you
notice that one section in particular looks kind of dangerous.
The rest of it it looks safe and you could
just climb it. I mean, it's stairs. You're like, you
don't have to make a check to go up a
set of stairs, But there is one part of it
that looks frankly kind of rotten and rickety, and you're
gonna wager folks could either jump over that or they

(47:03):
could just kind of risk going across it quickly. Now,
I'll say this. You have a.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
Climber's kit, you said, I sure do, Jason.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
So if you wanted to break out some of the
pieces of your climber's kit and make me, let's say,
an athletics check to kind of scale through the area,
and put in some pitons. I'll give everyone that comes
behind you a bonus.

Speaker 4 (47:24):
Jason, can I talk you into letting me do a
crafting check instead?

Speaker 3 (47:28):
No, damn good guys. We're gonna go and start whittling
out some new stairs. You know that's not a crafting check.
I'm gonna need you to make an athletics check.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
I disagree, but all right, get them, get them. I'm
gonna think really hard about my time in the equiment
of Boy Scouts, but for a rastal when I'm gonna
cast guidance, which gives me a plus one.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Good idea.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Because I don't have any acrobatics at all. We're rolling then,
nice died listeners. That was a six on the die
I have for all a seven.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
I'm looking and trying so hard not to get distracted
because I'm like, I could do that better, but now
I'm busy.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
So you're trying to make your way up these stairs
and play some petons, but you end up standing on
one of them that's pretty rotten and broken and it
starts to give way. Can you give me a reflex
saving thrown?

Speaker 4 (48:29):
I'm still thinking back about boy Scouts for the aristol.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
Yeah, I'm taking.

Speaker 4 (48:35):
On this too, and that was a fourteen plus three
plus one is eighteen.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Well, you didn't need to think about your days back
and the boy Scouts at all because you made it so.
You managed to kind of skip across. You haven't really
helped anybody, but you have made it across yourself. You
did kind of stumble across and make your way over.
Now that you're there, you could at least toss a
rope back so that anybody trying to make their way
across would have at least a little guidance.

Speaker 6 (49:05):
I'm following close by.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
Okay, there's it been ten minutes. Where are we at?

Speaker 3 (49:11):
We're getting close to that point. The two of you
will be able to come and help them after we
find out what happens to Squash. So Squash, you can
either just attempt to walk across the stairs and make
a reflex, say, or you can make an athletics check
to try and kind of jump across the rotten section.

Speaker 6 (49:26):
Could I talk you into an acrobatics check where I
do a fun flip over?

Speaker 3 (49:31):
Sure, yeah, that's right. It's not like you're trying to
craft your way across.

Speaker 4 (49:39):
I'm sorry if tying knots not crafting. I've climbed trees before.
That's all knots. I'm not really using my body.

Speaker 6 (49:49):
I look at Murdy and I say, what's this shit roll? Oh?
Thank god it worked out. That's a sixteen plus seven
twenty three.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
Yeah, you vault across seasl And so just as this
kind of wraps up, the two of you down below
have finished making your versatile vial and praying to your deity.
So the two of you are now free to attempt
to join the others. You're kind of left with the
same situation. You either have to jump across with an
athletics check or just attempt to reflex save to avoid

(50:19):
kind of falling.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
And there's a rope that's been tossed.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
There is a rope that's going to give you a bonus.
I'm just going to take that off the difficulty though,
So don't worry about it, Okay.

Speaker 5 (50:29):
I mean, boss, I could set off some explosives behind us,
and then the detonation of that will propel us upwards
onto the ledge.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
I appreciate your willingness to think outside the box, but
I think that actually what we need to do is
just jump over these couple stairs.

Speaker 5 (50:46):
Is this one of those things they trained you to
do in God School.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Oh, jumping around. It's very important. We do jumping jacks
every morning.

Speaker 5 (50:53):
All right, all right, I don't understand your faith, but uh,
you know you haven't let us wrong often.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
So that we can be ready to kill the oppressors. Yeah,
or whoever and the bourgeoisie. I don't know how to
spell that one. I speak two languages and I don't
know how to spell that one. But the important thing
is we can just jump across, and then I jump
across roll a ten for a total of seventeen, so.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
You easily are able to clear the distance and make
your way to the other side. Trent. That leaves only you.
I'm a little sad we're not going to get to
see the explosion behind you. I'm assuming you've got at
least a handful of like doves inside your jacket to
release at the same time.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
I got a total of seven with my athletics. Not great, all.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Right, So Trant attempts to jump across, but instead misses
the jump entirely and falls through the stairs into the
muff below. Take four points of damage.

Speaker 6 (51:48):
Okay, I grab Spie by lot of the pels. Why
don't you talk about it?

Speaker 2 (51:52):
The bombs A single tear rolls down my cheek as
I can see my friend hurt.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
I set the bindle down and starts stirring the soup,
making sure it's still going. Very important key thing about
petwal Stew is it does need to be kept in
even one sixty five. I think that's true in real
life too. It's definitely true about magic soup.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
I'm going to jump back over and go down and
lay on hands.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
Well, I'm assuming Trent can get up and make his
way back.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
Can Yeah, I will attempt to do that.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Okay, So if you didn't want to jump down, you
can wait and see if Trent can make it across.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Oh no, my character would absolutely.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Rack down in that case. Give me another athletics check.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
If my friends are jumping off a cliff, spite is
jumping off a cliff for a total of thirteen.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
Well, you joined Trent faster than you had hoped, as
you fall through the stairs as well and also take
four points of damage.

Speaker 5 (52:51):
All right, this doesn't seem to be going well.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Well, now we can go back up together.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
Murdy always looks tired, but Murty has never looked more
tired than this moment, furiously star at the soup.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
I can't wait for the other two of you to
join them down there making the same mistake. I'm just
excited for it.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Can I toss? How strong? Am I?

Speaker 3 (53:12):
I am?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Very strong? Can I toss?

Speaker 3 (53:15):
I would let you kind of give him an assist,
like you know, as he's about to jump, you kind
of push him to give him a bonus.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Okay, I'm gonna try and toss him, all right, assist him, spike.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
Can you give me an athletics check on the assist?

Speaker 2 (53:33):
Yeah, fourteen plus seven twenty one, that is an assist?

Speaker 5 (53:37):
Cool, all right, I'm gonna roll yep. I got a
five this time plus anything plus my strength, so eight
and then whatever the assist is.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Okay, Well, so you end up back down in the
mud again.

Speaker 5 (53:56):
Look, I didn't go to climbing school. I didn't go
to any kind to school.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Can you just toss us a rope?

Speaker 4 (54:03):
I say, I did go to climbing school. I went
to Scouts.

Speaker 5 (54:07):
I got one option here, and it's blow things up.
That is not climbing inclusive.

Speaker 6 (54:12):
I drop a rope down.

Speaker 3 (54:14):
So the other way that you could do this now
that you have two people across, and quite conceivably Spike
could get across as well. Is that you could just
tie a rope around Trent and pull Trent up?

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Yeah? I think that that's the plan.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
I have pulleys. We can't rigs like a four to
one pulley.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
I mean make me a craft check.

Speaker 6 (54:34):
Yeah, yeah, finally.

Speaker 4 (54:39):
All right, that was a nine plus four US it
is thirteen.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Sure, Spike. Can you give me an athletics check to
jump back across?

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Yeah, nineteen plus seven is twenty six, No problem. Can
I like kind of jump back and forth like three
times with the one check, just.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
To be like, yeah, bouncing back and forth, and then
the three of you haul Trent up to the top.
It's it's not the most glamorous way to reach the
second floor of the tower, but it does get the
job done.

Speaker 6 (55:13):
Hey, there's my guy, and I pat Trance on the back.
But then I sneak up the stairs.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
I lay on hands on Trent to heal six points
of damage. Thanks boss, or do you want to heal instead? Murdy?

Speaker 4 (55:25):
I have four slots of heel. That's up to you
about which.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Spells you want to I get mine back if I
hang out for ten minutes.

Speaker 5 (55:32):
This is the wake up call I needed. I'm working
on some sort of climbing bomb.

Speaker 6 (55:35):
Next.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
There are, in fact, you have heard of mutagens that
make you better at like athletics and climbing. They make
you more animalistic, allowing you to kind of make some
of these checks easier.

Speaker 5 (55:48):
Is there some explosive delivery system for these mutagens?

Speaker 3 (55:52):
I mean, you kind of drink them.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
But I'll have to get creative.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Yeah, we'll, we'll, We'll have to do some experiment.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
So I am going at half speed to have my
morning Star and shield at the ready.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Right at this point in time, considering the dangers of
this place, I'm assuming everybody has their weapons drawn and
shields out.

Speaker 6 (56:15):
I have a hand out ready to shake in friendship.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
So you continue making your way up the stairs up
to the second floor of the old crumbling mill. A
wooden shaft once pierced this chamber, connecting the machinery above
with the millstone below, but now it lays ruined on
the floor. On the other side of the room, a
ladder goes up to what must be the top floor,

(56:41):
But in front of that ladder there's a dark shape
slumbering in the gloom. But before you can find out
what that is, I think we're going to break this
episode and you will have to tune in next time
to learn what is slumbering at the foot of the ladder.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Oh, no, all of us have to wait a week. Yes,
that's how we're gonna do it.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
Yes, absolutely, it's going to be a whole week.

Speaker 6 (57:09):
I can't wait that long to find out it's a
totuo or something.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
It's probably a toto, I don't I.

Speaker 6 (57:14):
Think it's a totaro.

Speaker 4 (57:15):
Guys on big Beetle, that Snorris somehow.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
Snoring beetle. There were four I don't know how many
beatles there are. You say, big beetle.

Speaker 5 (57:24):
I'm now imagining like a Beetle CEO of some sort,
like a Beetle industrial complex that we're going to take down,
which makes me feel better about the fact that we
just killed all those guys.

Speaker 4 (57:35):
I heard you say big beetle. I thought you were
going like twenty foot tall John Lennon, but.

Speaker 5 (57:40):
I'd blow him up too. Fuck it, David Chapman on
his ass.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Well, that's it for episode one of whatever we're gonna
call this. I'm still calling it cool kids at the
table because there's a joke there about how actually it
wasn't cool to play these games when I was younger,
but it's cool now. And if you listen, next week,
we're gonna wake up the Toto Giant Beetle and blow
up John Lennon. But in the meantime, does everyone want

(58:08):
to plug anything here? At the end of the first episode,
I don't you all listen to me?

Speaker 5 (58:12):
Every week it's okay to break into people's houses and
kill them as long as they're not humans.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Yes, the message of Pathfinder comes to leave.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
That's probably legally true.

Speaker 6 (58:26):
Unfortunately, Second that I'm on the internet at bum Lung
in some places it's probably it.

Speaker 4 (58:34):
I'm not on the internet. Don't try to find me.
But you can find my zine about how to self
vantage and abortion at Tangled Wilderness dot org. It's called
how to Do It Anyway, printed out, give it to
your friends.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
And I'm Jason Bulman. I'm the director of games at PISO.
You can find me all across the internet, usually at
Jason Bowman. That's b U l M a h N
that h likes to wander on me. So get it right, Yeah,
that's all I got right now. Thanks for listening, everybuddy.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
All right, bye everyone, see you next week.

Speaker 6 (59:04):
Bye.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
It Could Happen Here as a production of cool Zone Media.
For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website
coolzonemedia dot com or check us out on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can
find sources for It Could Happen Here, updated monthly at
coolzonemedia dot com slash sources. Thanks for listening.