The nappy braai

Azola’s friends welcomed him to fatherhood with a surprise baby shower, called a nappy braai. Instead of the chilled Saturday barbecue he was expecting, they handed him a beer and an adult nappy and told him to suit up.

Azola thinks it’s important to mark milestones. When he was born in South Africa in 1990, the country was just emerging from apartheid. Families didn’t talk openly about their hopes and dreams because life was so uncertain, so he wants to be intentional about celebrating big moments in his children’s lives.

He tells Namulanta how he founded an organisation called Black Dads Unplugged – with the motto “active fatherhood is the new black”. They are part of a new generation of South African dads trying to do things differently.

Letter writer: Azola Dear Daughter is an award-winning podcast from the BBC World Service about love, life, family, and raising children. It is the brainchild of Namulanta Kombo, a mother on a quest to create a ‘handbook to life’ for her daughter, through the advice of parents from all over the world. Each episode, a guest reads a letter they’ve written to their children (or their future children, or the children they never had) with the advice, life lessons, and personal stories they’d like to pass on. Expect extraordinary true stories, inspirational advice for parents, and moving accounts of families, relationships and raising daughters. Share your letter! What do you want to say to your kids? Or the next generation? Do you have thoughts on motherhood, fatherhood, or parenthood to share? Whether you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a Whatsapp message on [phone] or visit https://www.bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter