Getting Free
They left abusive marriages. But under Jewish law, they were still not free. Getting Free is a six-episode limited series sharing the firsthand stories of five women whose abusive husbands denied them a Jewish divorce, known as a gett, to keep controlling them long after the relationship was over. A Jewish marriage is not fully dissolved without a religious divorce. When a husband refuses to grant it, a woman becomes an agunah — a “chained woman.” No civil court can free her. In their own voices, Amit, Julia, Helen, Melissa, and Alla each recount their courtship, marriage, separation, and long fight for freedom. They describe how financial pressure, custody threats, isolation, intimidation, and violence continued even after they left. Some are still not free. Gett refusal is not a private dispute. It is the continuation of abuse. It affects Jewish women of all ages and denominations worldwide, raising urgent questions about power, faith, and communal responsibility. Hosted by Rabbanit Leah Sarna and produced by the International Beit Din, Getting Free names the withholding of a gett for what it is: abuse and a violation of Jewish law. It also shows how, with proper support, women in these situations can get free. To learn more about the series or seek help, visit internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree. The women in Getting Free are professionals, mothers, and leaders from diverse Jewish backgrounds and levels of observance. We do not speak for them. They speak for themselves. Because change begins with listening.
Episodes
Meet the five women of Getting Free. They come from different parts of the United States and different cultures, but they have one thing in common- after escaping miserable marriages, they faced one last impossible hurdle: getting their abusers to agree to a Jewish divorce.
It’s time they tell their stories.
The women fall in love, or they decide to give a nice guy a chance. But red flags start to pop up. There’s abuse. And the women escape. A normal divorce story would end there, but they’re still trapped. They’re agunot- “chained women.” That’s because their husbands refuse to give them a religious divorce, known as a gett.
The women in Getting Free are professionals, mothers, neighbors...
Why does this religious divorce matter to the women? Why don’t they just walk away? They explain, in their own voices. Advocates and legal experts also weigh in on the abuse and violation of Jewish law that fuels the agunah crisis.
In This Episode- What the gett process should look like
- Why don’t agunot just leave the marriage without a gett?
- The practical consequences of not having a gett
- How controlling husbands ...
They don’t want their wives back. It’s been years since they lived together. But the husbands won’t grant a religious divorce. Why stay married to someone you despise? What motivates gett refusers? We hear from the men.
In This Episode- Arguments from men who say refusing a gett is ok.
- Results from an International Beit Din study looking at how m...
Many family members and rabbis insist that the women make things work, despite violence, verbal, and financial abuse. Not only that, but they support the husband in his gett refusal, expecting or even encouraging extortion. Why are we letting this happen?
In This Episode
- Alla’s situation gets worse, and she decides to leave.
- Even when women face abuse and violenc...
Julia, Melissa, Amit, Alla, and Helen continue their stories. How do they get out? We walk through all of the strategies and reveal what works – or doesn’t – for each of them.
In This Episode
- An anonymous agunah shares her experience when her husband was shamed publicly.
- Amit turns to advocate Adina Sash, aka Flatbush Girl, for help getting her gett. ...
You’ve heard the women’s stories. Now what? You don’t have to be an expert or a superhero.
Rabbi Barry Dolinger, executive director of the International Beit Din, and Anna Cable, a social worker and trauma expert, offer some concrete advice. Change is possible.
In This Episode
- How to offer support to someone in a coercive relationship
- What to do when...
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