We Sure Eat Good When Someone Dies

In “We Sure Eat Good When Someone Dies,” Gravy producer Caleb Johnson takes listeners back to August 2024, when his extended family gathered inside a Baptist church in Arley, Alabama, to mourn the loss of their matriarch—his grandmother, Celia Sampley. Before the funeral service, the church served lunch for the family, including chicken and dumplings, green-bean casserole, and plenty of desserts. A particular cake caught Caleb’s eye that day, called a pea picking cake. In this episode, Caleb steps into the kitchen of the woman who baked that memorable cake and explores how eating something sweet helps us process grief. The cook’s name is Sandra Stewart, and she was a good friend of Caleb’s grandmother. They attended Bethel Baptist Church together for many years. When it came time to bake something for the funeral wake, Sandra looked through her large recipe book. She chose a pea picking cake because all the ingredients she needed were already in her pantry. Her choice was mainly for convenience. Traditionally, recipes for pea picking cake call for using a box cake mix. The first box cake mix was created in the 1930s, but it didn’t become popular until after World War II. Caleb talks with food historian KC Hysmith about the mysterious origins of the pea picking cake and how it fits into a tradition of fancy box cakes that grew popular in the second half of the twentieth century, a time when home cooks started using more store-bought, convenience ingredients. Caleb also speaks with Dr. Candi K. Cann, a professor of religion at Baylor University and a self-described death scholar, about funeral traditions involving food around the world. She explains that these traditions help mourners revisit meaningful relationships. However, despite the close link between funerals and foodways, Dr. Cann says Americans aren’t taught how to navigate grief, partly because individualism is a key part of the Protestant faith. She believes this has led to less emphasis on communal meals like the one served at Caleb’s grandmother’s wake. *** This episode was reported by Caleb Johnson. Johnson is the author of the novel Treeborne, and a frequent contributor to the Gravy podcast and magazine. He teaches creative writing at Appalachian State University.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices