If Books Could Kill

If Books Could Kill

The airport bestsellers that captured our hearts and ruined our minds

Episodes

February 5, 2026 71 mins
Mark as Played

The boys catalog the definitive worst takes of the year, from the pundits who misunderstood our political moment to a guy who wants to have sex with a computer.

To hear the rest of the episode, support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Mark as Played
December 18, 2025 91 mins
Mark as Played
December 9, 2025 88 mins
Mark as Played
November 20, 2025 98 mins

How do you tell the entire history of humanity in a single book? Whatever you do, do not open a browser window. 

Thanks to Dorsa Amir, Duncan Stibbard Hawkes and David Perry for help researching and fact-checking this episode!

Where to find us: 

Sources:

Mark as Played
July 17, 2025 57 mins

Did you know that in the split-second it took you to read the title of this episode, your subconscious already figured out that it was going to be extremely good?

Peter and Michael talk about Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink," a book that is mostly cute scientific anecdotes but also indirectly resulted in millions of taxpayer dollars being wasted on fraudulent science.

Where to find us: 

Mark as Played

This is most of the episode but if you want to hear the last 20 minutes, support us on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Mark as Played
Mark as Played
June 5, 2025 81 mins

By popular demand we are releasing last month's Patreon bonus episode on the main feed! We chart the transformation of the lab leak from an unfounded theory promoted by right-wing cranks to an unfounded theory promoted by liberal journalists.

Where to find us: 


Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

Mark as Played
April 23, 2025 53 mins
Mark as Played

Are you a single lady struggling to find love with a man? Don't fret! A twice-divorced game show host who thinks conversation is for women is here to help.

Where to find us: 

Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!

Mark as Played
March 6, 2025 82 mins

Who's to blame for the crisis of American masculinity? On the right, politicians tell men that they being oppressed by feminists and must reassert their manhood by supporting an authoritarian regime. And on the left, users of social media are often very irritating to people who write airport books.  

Where to find us: 

Sour...

Mark as Played
January 23, 2025 58 mins

Peter and Michael dissect Jen Sincero's "You are a Badass," a book that answers the question: What if "The Secret" was written in the painful, try-hard style of "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck"? Featuring a surprise digression about Sincero's other, even worse books.

Where to find us: 

Sources:

Mark as Played
December 6, 2024 65 mins

In 2004, historian Thomas Frank proposed a theory about the rightward drift of the white working class. Was he a prescient king whose work presaged the rise of Trump — or a bumbling fool with a broken thesis?  Unfortunately it turns out he is a secret third thing that takes one hour and six minutes to explain.

Special thanks to Julia Valdés for her help with this episode!

Where to find us: 

Mark as Played
November 4, 2024 69 mins

Peter and Michael discuss the book that launched the phenomenon of New Atheism and asked the question: What if we hated Muslims, but in a secular way?

Where to find us: 

Sources:

Mark as Played

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