November 8, 2023 • 36 mins
Is Hannah the a-hole? Let us know in the comments who you think is the real villain of our fight! Today we’ve got Hannah taking the dump truck wheel and leading us through lots of fun and games. Can you decide if Hannah’s naming a care giver company or a funeral home? Then you have to help us figure out another Am I the A-hole with a special twist! And the trash on top of the junkyard sundae is some Hypothetical Freaks! *beep beep* Excuse us, that’s Shane’s chair horn kicking off the party!
For transcripts of this week's podcast click HERE:
Thank you to this week's sponsors:
Paint Your Life: Right now as a limited time offer, get 20% off your painting. And FREE shipping. To get this special offer, text the word JUNKYARD to 87204. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.
EveryPlate: Get started with $1.49 per meal with code 49junkyardpod at www.everyplate.com/podcast.
For more Mayhem follow:
@junkyardmayhem
@shaneburcaw
@hannahayl
Facebook
Website
We would love your feedback... If you enjoyed this episode, tell us why! Leave us a review and make sure you subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.
Executive Producers are Riley Peleuses + Michaela Garrison for YEA Networks / YEA Podcasts
If you are interested in advertising on this podcast or having Shane and Hannah as guests on your Podcast, Radio Show, or TV Show, reach out to podcast@yeanetworks.com
For transcripts of this week's podcast click HERE:
Thank you to this week's sponsors:
Paint Your Life: Right now as a limited time offer, get 20% off your painting. And FREE shipping. To get this special offer, text the word JUNKYARD to 87204. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.
EveryPlate: Get started with $1.49 per meal with code 49junkyardpod at www.everyplate.com/podcast.
For more Mayhem follow:
@junkyardmayhem
@shaneburcaw
@hannahayl
Website
We would love your feedback... If you enjoyed this episode, tell us why! Leave us a review and make sure you subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.
Executive Producers are Riley Peleuses + Michaela Garrison for YEA Networks / YEA Podcasts
If you are interested in advertising on this podcast or having Shane and Hannah as guests on your Podcast, Radio Show, or TV Show, reach out to podcast@yeanetworks.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
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(00:24):
If you looked into your hearts,you will find that my wife is
a most I don't think it makesme the able. Welcome back to another
episode of Joe dev Mayhem. Thisis going to be our best episode yet.
Do you want to know why I'mgoing to hand the rain de red
(00:46):
Hannah? Yep, I have notone inkling of an idea what this episode
is about. Yep. Shane waswhining, what are we going to do
for our podcast this week? Whatshould we do? And I said,
do you know what, Shane,I already have my ideas. I'm all
set. I'll see you when werecord. I was putting out fires in
our life in a million different directions. Oh, well, that makes it
(01:06):
sound like you were busy doing otherstuff, and I was, well,
Hannah layed in the backyard. No, but Hannah prepared episode this week,
and I'm really excited because I don'tknow what we're doing. Okay. The
first the first section of this,yes, okay, is a new game
that I have invented, A newgame, a new game. Okay.
(01:27):
Then the second part is going tobe an am ivy a hole. But
it's a special edition because we knowthe people involved in this story, right
god, Okay, it's a reallife example. Came prepared. I did.
And then the third segment is goingto be hypothetical Freaks, which we
haven't done for a long time,about an award show that we are attending.
Oh, we have to attend anaward show. We're excited to we're
(01:49):
also terrified. Yeah, both havethe questions. Hopefully it would be very
fun to play for that mm hmm. All right, so we begin with
my new game. Yeah, I'ma little bit nervous. Okay, So
I did invent this, like iterationof it, but I got the idea
or put me down. You're justgonna be guessing something like I'm going to
give you things. I did aguess. So I was. I was
(02:10):
listening to an episode of Maintenance Phase, my favorite podcast aside from ours.
No, it's way better than ours. Let's not get ourselves and almost every
podcast, and at the beginning ofthe episode, completely unrelated to what they
were talking about, Aubrey was playinga game where she was having Michael guess
(02:30):
is this a gay bar or asteakhouse? And the title like the name
of the She would yeah, itwould be like you know, twin flames,
and he would have to guess ifit was a gay bar or a
steakhouse. And it was so funny, and I was thinking like, oh,
we could do something like that.And my idea, which I think
is brilliant, is caregiver company orfuneral home? I have just the fact
(02:58):
that you found any I found alot examples of hard guesses. We can
play this game many many times.And this is just in like the surrounding
LA area. So you're going toread me a name about business? Yeah,
and I have to guess is ita caregiver agency or a funeral home?
Yes. The fact that there isany ambiguity overlap is hilarious. Just
(03:22):
you wait, my little angel,is that one of them? It's close?
Uh, the names It'll be like, you know, McCormick's funeral home.
I will leave out the funeral homeif it was like McCormick's funeral funeral
home or a McCormick's caregiver company.I'm not going to say what it is.
Give me the no, give methe whole name. Will. I
just want people to be like,wait, why is it called you know,
(03:45):
my Little Angel? It's my littleAngel funeral home? Right? Okay,
that would be a disturbing name forfuneral home. That's just my example.
Okay, are you ready to play? Yeah? Yeah, I'm ready.
You're ready? Do I have anopass? If I win? Here we
go. Number one Great Mercy,Oh oh man, this is okay,
(04:10):
so like great mercy if it werea caregiver agency, that feels kind of
effective. But great mercy of likethe end of the life, is also
not exactly the tone I want frommy I'm gonna just funeral home and now
(04:32):
I'll read you the full name.Okay, okay, Great mercy in home
caregivers. Wrong, Okay, that'sbecause my existence and your existence is brutal
and tragic, and they are providingus with you great mercy by coming in
(04:56):
and helping me brush my teeth.Yes, okay, you're ready? Yes,
that was amazing. Verse number two, always there. I hope it's
a carry diver anciency. Maybe it'sa funeral home that specializes in my like
(05:18):
her mission that you bring home theashes with you. They're always there.
Could be either one. My parentskept ashes of one of our cats that
pass the way, and he saton our shelf. He was always There's
always. It has to be acar giver, always there funeral and cremation
(05:42):
services. You are zero for two. This is harder than I thought.
Always there. That should probably berenamed never there. Yeah, if it's
okay, some dirty tumor here,guys, if you haven't picked up on
that yet, this segments a littlebit of a I have a good one.
(06:06):
Next, okay. Number three,this is one word when if you
heard me any other room laughing tomyself, it was at this name.
Okay. One word empathy hands.If you didn't hear that, empathy hands.
One word is so weird because that'swhat you want me to tell it
(06:30):
when you're giving me a shower,Hannah, I need the empathy hands,
oh man. But like, okay, carrygivers and funeral home directors they specialize.
They need to be empathetic people.They need to create an environment of
empathy, empathy, hand well wordcaregiver empathy hands home care ll yeah,
(07:02):
good job. All right, Ihave a huge list here. Should we
just do I should do a fewmore and then maybe we'll do it again.
This is really fun. I shouldhave checked off the ones I did.
I'm starting to not remember. Okay, number four, all caring,
Okay, alkay, Karen is inthe name, so like that makes me
(07:26):
feel like it's probably carry your youragency all tarring now like a LLL all
caring, like all caring, butlike you're all caring about someone's grief that
they're going to do a funeral home. I'm gonna go for the non obvious,
(07:46):
the funeral home, all caring cremations. Yeah, okay. Here's here's
a tricky one. A and Bquality A and B. I still it's
like the owner's names. I wantthe age quality no matter what, and
to be quality. I don't wantyour B quality service, A and B
(08:11):
carrygiver. I don't have any informationA and B quality homecare nice. Nice?
You know what amb Your name doesn'treally like denote what you view.
So I would suggest I've got qualityhomecare in there. I would suggest empathy
hands people one word empathy, handspeople carry giving one word that might be
(08:35):
good. Okay, here's one.A graceful way, A graceful way to
the drave funeral home, lock ofam bim done funeral. Yeah, A
graceful way in home care. No, I'm really bad, it does.
(08:58):
This is hard hard, it's reallyhard. Next time we'll have to play
where you find them and I haveto say I'll present them. But you
know those are all in LA.Yes, these are all. These are
all in like a small area ofLA. I just went on the map
and looked in like a three mileradius ahead. Okay, here's my personal
(09:18):
favorite one. So I'm messaging abouthow may take care of dead bodies and
disabled people seem to be pretty similarin terms of like business names. Indeed,
we need to look into that.That's not right, everyone, Yeah,
someone look into that. Okay homeinstead, Okay, home instead.
(09:41):
It sounds like a straight up carrieriveragency, like you hire carrierivers. See
you can remain in your home andnot need to go into a hospital or
something like that. And what wouldit mean if it was the funeral home.
Maybe it's a funeral home. Thatagain, specializes in like things home
sending home ashes or at home funerals. That are you allowed to do that?
(10:07):
I don't know. Can you burysomeone in your backyard? You cannot
bury a body in your backyard.If you go to your home funeral services,
you can. So what's your guest? I don't know. Yes,
homestead instead is the full name.It's just funny ones wondering. Okay,
we're getting along here. I haveso many more. This is going to
(10:31):
be I think we should start everysingle episode home or caregiver agency. We
should branch out to like carrigiver agencyor like vacuum cleaner repair and see if
we can get like even more overlap. It's a great idea of Shane.
You can do that for your episodevacuum repair or bury your bar On.
(10:58):
We will take a break and thenwe're gonna be right back to do amid
a hole with a personal personal story. I don't know why I'm really ready
for that. For our third weddinganniversary this year, Shaneon, I got
one of our favorite wedding photos paintedby Paint Your Life. Ah, I'm
lucky, get it right, Yeah, And I am still so obsessed with
(11:20):
it. I'm a staring at italready. It's beautiful enough of it.
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(11:43):
so cool. You can order acustom made hand painted portrait in less than
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is really fast. One of myfavorite film was about this painting is how
it captures like the peaceful elegance ofthe venue, Like behind Desh is so
beautiful, and they even nailed thebackground, Like yeah, they obviously nail
their faces, but like the backgroundis so reminiscent of right, it's exactly
(12:09):
what it looked like, and weloved that spot of our venue. So
it's really nice to have that,you know, in painting. Yeah,
we have lots of print art inour house and that's fine, but having
a original painting with that you cansee and feel the brush surets. Yeah,
it's so oh, it makes mereally happy. Yeah, it feels
(12:31):
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(12:54):
That's Junkyard to eight seven two zerofour. Again, test junkyard to eight
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Message in data rage may apply.She cherished for details. All right,
we're back. Are you ready,Shane? Yeah? I did. You
don't even know how? What isthis? My sweet sweet boy? You
(13:16):
have no idea. You've since we'vebe done, called me your sweet angel
and sweet boy. That was anexample for the game, and now I'm
being like, oh, my sweetlittle you know innocent, you have no
idea. I don't know today's gameof am I the a hole is going
to be evaluating my husband, Shane. I should have seen that something recently
(13:41):
happened a fight. You might say, what fight are you? And I
would like to know how many ofyou are on my side? Is it
the one about me saying you shouldn'teat your Joe nails? Good? That
was funny. That was a goodone. Thank you. That was a
good one. This is a fightabout our new couch. Oh oh okay,
(14:05):
Yeah, let's do it. Let'sdo it. Let's you are.
I feel like I have a scaryshare I have. I have my side.
I'm going to be telling the story. I wish I should have written
it out like an am id ahole post on the body. Yeah,
it was like my husband thirty onemale you know. Okay, So Shane
(14:26):
has a favorite snack that a restaurantin Minneapolis, actually in a Dina serves,
and it is these Paul Supper Clubserves these oil soaked saltine crackers with
a flavor like yeah on top ofMichie Club. Please, if you can
(14:46):
find a way to allow me tohave those saltias any day, any hour
of any day, like if theywould sell them by the box, by
the ball or just deliver them tome. Yeah, I'm in La right
now, But if you can finda way to get those salt mouth Shane
found when we were in Wisconsin,a like they were selling bags of like
(15:07):
the same saltines, and they werenot as good because it's bagged, Like
you can't get the same same levelof oiliness that mister Paul' leper club delivers
and the flavor and the flavor,but it was they were really good crackers.
And they also sold just the powderthat you put on them with like
the recipe. So we bought thatand we were excited. And that was
like six weeks ago, and thenlast week we saw it in our cupboard.
(15:28):
We transferred it to La Yeah.We road tripped out here with our
space powder miss Yeah. And Shanewas like, you know what instead of
saltines, I'm going to buy checkslike Chex mix, just the checks the
cereal gonna make yeah rice checks becausethat's my favorite part of checks mix.
They're easy to eat, and I'mgonna make this oil dip you know whatever
(15:50):
with the checks. Yeah. Brilliant, brilliant idea, really good. So
the assholet no and done. Thisis setting the scene. So we make
this and we followed the recipe,but I think we shouldn't have because saltines
are more absorbent than rice checks.Yeah, so we poured a cup and
a half of Conol oil up inthe half to this gigantic metal mixing bowl
(16:12):
with the box of cereal and thepowder mix and it was really good.
It was It was about three fourinches of oil sitting in the bottom of
the The bottom was a bit soupy. We did not nail our oil ratio.
No we didn't, but it wasour first attempt. It's fine.
But they were really good and welet them like sit overnight. They marinated.
(16:33):
They're amazing. They didn't get soggy. I know you're thinking they're soggy.
They didn't. Just mister Pouls justthey said. They were not even
close to what you create. Yeah, they were dead. They were good.
But I don't want you to forgetabout my reuss to send me your
sealtes. Okay, So Shane wantsthis as his nighttime snack. Okay,
(16:53):
My thirty one year old husband islike, that's gonna be my night night
snacky. I'm excited. You areyou're You're already. At no point in
the evening did I say I'm readyfor my night nights naky. I probably
said, hey, do you alreadyhave some of those chats and you were
like, yeah, those were dead, let's seat them. No, it
(17:14):
was not equal, I said,Shane. You were like, can I
skewer them? You tried to skewerthem and the skewer hole was too small.
Then I was like, it's fine, I'll just give them to you.
And then I remember that I said, baby, baby, nakya baby,
that's how I speak. Shamee.Do you think you're getting a little
(17:37):
your emotions are getting a little elevatednow, I'm just saying, if you're
gonna misrepresent the situation, I'm didto make fun of you. It was
your snack. Yeah, you agreethe way you said it. You want
some crackers And I was like,yeah, I'll eat them. No.
You were like I would like crackers. How can I get them in my
mouth? And I said, Iwill feed them to you. Okay,
I'm sitting on the couch. Shaneis sitting next to me like this.
(18:00):
But he's raised up, which isyour first problem. You should have lowered
down, but he's raised up.You're not being objective, there's no You're
not letting them decide. You haveto just tell you can't be like that
and this is when you're an asshole, and this is a problem. Okay,
What what we decided to do wasto bring the mixing bowl from the
kitchen, put it on the armof the couch, and then I gave
(18:21):
Shane bites from there, and theywere delicious, completely idiotic. Two adults
should have thought, you know what, why don't we put some snack in
a small or more manageable bowl insteadof bringing the gigantic mixing bowl and putting
it on the arm of our couch. Very precarious, I agree, But
neither of us were like, thisis a problem. If anyone knows what
foreshadow it is, you might beable to figure out. Right. Well,
(18:45):
the next thing that happened is thaton one of Shane's final bites,
after like an hour, I ofboth of us them, yes I had
some yes, sure, So thehour there was a dig that was not
necessary. It wasn't a day.It's like you would say that we were
successful for a long time. Itwasn't like the first bite I knocked it
over. Can I dirged yourself onthis dish for an hour and then we
(19:10):
were finished? Okay? Ahead,God? So then on the final bite,
what was to be final bite.Wasn't. It wasn't planned to be
Shane's final bite, but it endedup being. As I brought my hand
back, it knocked into the bowl, spilling it all onto my lap.
Yeah, she was just having itsurpassively. The hand, the hand,
(19:37):
my hand, from your mouth,okay, from your mouth, my hand,
Yes, not really entirely my problem. I was given one time bite
after an hour of sitting there watchingHannah just devoured myself. People, some
people aren't going to know if you'rekidding that was a joke. You're leading
them astray. We ate them,you ate more. Okay, I knock
(20:00):
the bowl onto my lap. Yes, I'm freaking out. Oil obviously is
everywhere. We're not even at thecouch yet, it's on my lap.
My favorite shorts that I'm wondering lovemy sweat shorts. I'm trying to get
these back in the bowl. Theones that are on top I don't want
to put like I still want thechecks like I don't want to ruin it
(20:21):
was the chest, and I'm throwingthe checks onto the ground that are like
hair covered with like you know,the ones that are touching something hair.
I'm just not going to put themback on the bowls. They're dirty,
so I'm like throwing them on theground, trying to avoid our brand new
rug. Also like everything in hereis new. So I get them off
my lap. I stand up,and I realize that a bunch of oil,
(20:45):
like you know, some checks,has fallen behind my lap onto the
couch like underneath me. And Ilook and there's like a big splat,
yes, splotches of grease stains onthe couch cushion and on and like the
bolster pillow that goes with it.Can I just say what I've been doing
this whole time, because this ispart of the story. I've been silent.
(21:07):
Yes, I am staring at thesituation. Yep, just quiet,
silent. We'll get to that.It's probably been like forty five seconds by
now that I when I stand up, So then I I Chloe also at
this time, is trying to eatthe checks that are like all over the
floor, and I don't want herto have that much oil, So I'm
like, Chloe, wait, likewait over there, and she listens to
(21:29):
weight, so I'm like, yeah, I'm just saying wait again and against
because sometimes if you don't repeat it, she'll be like it must be over
now. So she's waiting and readingand waiting, and I'm like trying to
pick as much up as possible.And then I finally get all of them
like into a you know, intomy pile, and I'm like, okay,
Chloe, like you're fine. Soshe's like licking the remnants off the
rug the room. Because I knowyou're saying your name too much. I'll
(21:52):
say the dog from now on.So at this point I run into the
kitchen. I know actually at thispoint, I I grabbed my phone and
I'm like, I'm saying explotives.At this point, I'm freaking out.
I grab my phone. I'm googlinghow to get oil out of a leather
couch and I see that like you'resupposed to use baby powder or like something
that'll bring it up, but wedon't have that. So one of the
(22:15):
things said dawn dish soap. SoI run into the kitchen. I grab
the dish soap. I'm like scrubbingthe couch trying to get it. I
it's a round. This point iswhen I probably said something and I don't
remember exactly what we said, butI probably said something like it'll be okay,
like just like don't worry, likeit's fine. You know, Yeah,
(22:37):
the specifics are murky at this point, but Shane is silent so far,
like up until whenever it starts speaking. It has now been fine six
minutes maybe, you know, oflike cleaning and getting this all set,
and as I'm scrubbing the couch,it's not looking better, like it's looking
worse because I'm rubbing soap into thecouch and I'm like, oh my god,
I think I'm making it worse.This looks horrible. I'm almost in
(23:00):
tears about like our poor sofa andhow now it's all stained and it's so
visible and all this. And thatis when Shane. But at a certain
point I said to you that Ifelt like the only adult in the house.
And I think it was before youspoke. Well, I think it
was been all right, So Ican't remember the timeline, but I ended
up saying like, it's not abig deal, like it, we'll put
(23:22):
a pillow over it, We'll putit blinded over it, no one will
notice. Then was like that justlike make like trying to make you not
be upset. Essentially, Yeah,right, so that happened. I don't
think that was before though. Atsome point though, yeah, but she
so, Shane being silent for thisentire thing really irritated me. And as
(23:42):
each minute passed, I'm like glancingat him, waiting for him to react
to the chaos and the situation andlike the couch being damaged and just like
any of it. I'm like,why is he sitting here completely silent while
I'm like running around trying to fixthe situation. So at a certain point
(24:03):
I say to him, you knowwhat I right now I feel like I'm
the only adult in this house andyou're just like staring at me while I
am dealing with a catastrophe. Youdefinitely said that. After I began saying
it's not a big deal, Iwas like, that made you even matter
that I was like not upset aboutwhat happened. Yeah, So then Shane
is like, I just don't it'snot a big deal, Like it's fine,
(24:26):
We'll just put a pillow over it. And I was like, are
you serious, because it's a couchthat's like the most expensive piece of furniture
in a house. Like, it'sa couch, it's a big deal.
And that was when he was like, well, maybe we can turn the
cushions around. And I was like, the cushions aren't reversible, Like I
actually know that about our couch andare not reversible? Is so mad?
Yeah? And you were like,well, you know what, I just
don't think it's a big deal.So is that the end? Yeah?
(24:51):
Do you have anything else? Sowe're just sort of I was trying to
be a homing presence for Hannah,and I explained this. We ended up
fighting and like getting mad at eachother. Yes, but I my reasoning
was that if I had knocked thebowl over, if like if that had
(25:15):
been my hand and I was freakingout, oh no, I spilled this
like it's dinner room. They touchedand Hannah had reacted angerly or flusteredly or
like freaking out like oh no no, that would have made me feel really
bad about having not the bowl over. And I had two responds that when
(25:41):
we were having our fight, yousaid that in the fight. I had
two responses. One, I didn'tview it as entirely my fault, just
because you can't move your arms,and I didn't think that way. Occasionally
you would knock things over if youmoved, But instead I have to feed
you the chips, and therefore it'snot entirely my fault that you were chip
hands. Yeah, that's fair knockedoverable. I'd never knock things over because
(26:03):
I don't exactly so I was like, well, no, this is equally
your fault. It was your bite. And then two I had said I
didn't want you to be screaming likeoh no, oh no. What I
said to you in the moment waswhy didn't you say, like, let
me google what to get how toget stains out of a couch? Like
I feel like people are going tobe like, well, what could Shane
have done a emotional support b lookthings up? Like I silence is not
(26:26):
emotional support in some instances it canbe. I don't know if my voice
and ended, wasn't it stuff up? Yeah? I just wanted you to
care. I wanted you to belike And that's my third oh let me
help. That's my third point wasthat like, even though I was consciously
like trying to be homing for youand like make it not a big deal
(26:48):
so that you didn't feel bad,I genuinely just was like, well,
we'll put it, bellow over it, and hopefully like it's not horrible staying.
Everyone in our lives, like Ihave, has bolster pillows that go
right where this stain was. Youstill see the stain, I thought,
(27:11):
and I thinking in that moment,was We'll just put the bolster over the
pillow. And yeah, if someoneone day lifts it up and sees these
little slaveships, they might be like, oh, dirty tauch, and they
might do so nice. Too long. So let's wrap this up. That
was our story. But how doyou determined to determine? Oh, I
(27:32):
mean, I know where I stand. Both of us know where we stand.
You were the ale. I admit, I do admit I should have
been more helpful. I will alsosay I've been accused of trying to be
helpful in moments where all you wantis someone to listen and be try it.
(27:56):
Do you have a an I feelwhen do I want you? Well,
that's what I'm inventing to you.Yeah, But I just try to
solve So I was just it wasa real life I was googling things.
It wasn't a situation where I waslike, Shane, I don't mean nothing.
Here is a practical problem. Thisis an emotional problem. It was
a physical problem. I was like, what do we do about the couch?
(28:19):
And then you were just like andI. It wasn't like you were
giving me little smiles and nods ofencouragement. You were literally zone if you
touch smile, literally dozing off.Oh now I'm dozing off. We have
an unreliable narrator. And I diddivert it to player, ladies and gentlemen
(28:41):
of the jury. If I amdoilty of anything, it is apathy.
Yeah, that's what you're guilty of. A few little spotches on a couch.
I am guilty of that. Doesthat makes me a hard and true
asshole? I don't think so.And I think if you looked into your
(29:04):
hearts you will find that my wifeis a monster. I don't think it
makes me the ale to want alittle support from my own and to feel
like I'm not the only adult inthe house. When catastrophes, no one
is no one's ale. We're debatinghere who is the ahole? And it's
sure no one. Well, itcould be no one, but in this
(29:26):
case, there's a very clear ahole. Uh. Should we move on
to section to whatever part three Idid? We should take your tape breaks.
But I'm a little bit afraid to. Oh yeah, once the camera
turns off, I might get angry. Just please regard me with empathy.
Hands. Okay, all right,we'll be right back and bath two a
(29:52):
holes. Yeah, ready perform foryou. We are now on to play
I Decid Freaks, a game thatand I have long played in our relationship.
Yes, when we have an uphominganxiety inducing event, we make up
hypothetical, ridiculous scenarios that could playout that would be so ridiculous that like
(30:19):
they'll never actually have them. Thingsthat we could do to make people uncomfortable
is generally the Yeah, just asa way of like lightening the spirit around
whatever. Bran just about. Andit can't be as bad as what we
come up with. So yeah,once we're there and be fine, this
is going to be about the awardshow that we're attending. We written invited
to be guests in a la legitaward show with like a giant theater and
(30:44):
a red harpet and celebrities, andthat's scary. Yeah, we're honored to
be yelling, however, terrifying,terrified that we're gonna have to interact with
like celebrity people. We might wejust talked to each other. I have
my first whole freak. Go ahead, Let's say we meet someone really famous,
(31:07):
like Brad Pitt. Will not bethere, no, he there.
If Brad Pitt were there, Iwould go up to him and pretend like
I know him from somewhere and likerap my brain and be like, wait,
you never get like a CVS giveyou very I recognize wait, oh
(31:33):
Jimbo no, And Brad Pitt's justlike can we get here? That's a
good one. I think that thepart that I'm most nervous about is like
arriving and just the logistics of likewe have to do the red carpet,
like where do you enter? Andlike what do you do? So I
(31:56):
think we should just avoid all ofthat and I will get on the back
of your chair wall of style,you lower down so you go top speed
and we can just fly in,fly right through the red carpet. Then
he gets hit don't pause for apop speed and I'll have my head kind
of like maybe in your backpack sothat you can't see me and I don't.
(32:17):
I don't feel afraid. We aregoing to this award show as deaths.
We are not like up for anyaward or anything like that. But
to every person that I interact with, I'm going to tell them that I'm
just really nervous because I've never gottenan award like this before. Because someone
is gonna know that we're not gettingaward. I never didn't have to be
(32:40):
like, oh, Shane, yeah, I just keep saying that you hope
you win. It's such an honorto be celebrated tonight. Thank you.
So I assume this is like aseated event with a stage, like,
ye, that's what it is.I wonder how many times you and I
(33:05):
could alternate getting up for the bathroomduring the award part before they would say
like, pa, maintain your seat. That's so funny because like I never
know the award shows like they donot let you get up, like it's
being a film for TV, sothey'll be like, okay, now we're
in a commercial, now you canuse the bath there. But if I
(33:25):
went up like during the show,which I would never do this, but
if I did and and like bumpinginto people, and I was like,
no, it's like it's a disability, sail, I need to get into
that bathup, what would they do? They would let you in? I
think you didn't. Yeah, theywould make me like no, empty my
bowels and my no. But theidea of you honking your horn when you
(33:50):
can't get around, I think that'sthe invastination all night whoever is in my
I having to beat my horn.I've never once used my like a horrible
sound, honestly, I had whenpeople are like, you got a horn
on that bam. Yeah, butI'm gonna use it the whole night to
get anyone out of my way.And the funny part is to access your
(34:12):
horn you have to go out ofdrive mode, so it takes like three
seconds. You're gonna have to goup to someone, push some buttons,
switch it around, honk the horn, and then switch back to drive.
It's gonna be really awkward. Youknow. The other thing that you do
about the actual award aspect of itis pretend that we're really upset the whole
(34:34):
night because we're here. We thoughtwe were being honored. It turns out
we're just yes, carry around atissue and dab my eyes, glare at
anyone who like does receive an award. Refuse to collapse. Yeah, everyone
comes up to to share them.Yeah, should have been me, it'll
(34:54):
be like best actress, and I'llbe like, oh, it should have
been me. I'll just tell everyonethat I have I haven't had my big
break. Yes, the whole night, we're aspiring actors. I did a
lot of the actors that they're aword. So the whole night we'll just say,
(35:17):
yeah, so look for that bigbreak. This isn't really, this
isn't I thought a whole freaks.Really, But we have our business cards.
Is it weird to give out businesshards? Yes? I don't think
we're going to give them out.Did you dress have packets? No?
(35:37):
If anyone gives us a business card, we can give them one. I
will not fire one right back,like trying to give them to people.
I think we're gonna make it.Yeah, we can handle it. I
hope. I don't really know.I don't know, but we'll see.
All right. That was our episodefor today. I hope you enjoyed it.
(35:59):
Probably one of our best one withme at the at the hell you
know that from now on, youtake it. That was my favorite.
Maybe we won't diagnose whether I'm thea hole. Yeah every time, but
no, but sometimes anyway, ifyou enjoy today's episode, please comment like
review all of that, and it'sa junk yard out there. Believe your
(36:19):
snaps at the door. If wehave one more spill, our CEO Hannah
is going to lose it. Shecan't handle oil at any time, even
in a junk yard. It's alittle mume by everyone. Bye.
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(00:24):
If you looked into your hearts,you will find that my wife is
a most I don't think it makesme the able. Welcome back to another
episode of Joe dev Mayhem. Thisis going to be our best episode yet.
Do you want to know why I'mgoing to hand the rain de red
(00:46):
Hannah? Yep, I have notone inkling of an idea what this episode
is about. Yep. Shane waswhining, what are we going to do
for our podcast this week? Whatshould we do? And I said,
do you know what, Shane,I already have my ideas. I'm all
set. I'll see you when werecord. I was putting out fires in
our life in a million different directions. Oh, well, that makes it
(01:06):
sound like you were busy doing otherstuff, and I was, well,
Hannah layed in the backyard. No, but Hannah prepared episode this week,
and I'm really excited because I don'tknow what we're doing. Okay. The
first the first section of this,yes, okay, is a new game
that I have invented, A newgame, a new game. Okay.
(01:27):
Then the second part is going tobe an am ivy a hole. But
it's a special edition because we knowthe people involved in this story, right
god, Okay, it's a reallife example. Came prepared. I did.
And then the third segment is goingto be hypothetical Freaks, which we
haven't done for a long time,about an award show that we are attending.
Oh, we have to attend anaward show. We're excited to we're
(01:49):
also terrified. Yeah, both havethe questions. Hopefully it would be very
fun to play for that mm hmm. All right, so we begin with
my new game. Yeah, I'ma little bit nervous. Okay, So
I did invent this, like iterationof it, but I got the idea
or put me down. You're justgonna be guessing something like I'm going to
give you things. I did aguess. So I was. I was
(02:10):
listening to an episode of Maintenance Phase, my favorite podcast aside from ours.
No, it's way better than ours. Let's not get ourselves and almost every
podcast, and at the beginning ofthe episode, completely unrelated to what they
were talking about, Aubrey was playinga game where she was having Michael guess
(02:30):
is this a gay bar or asteakhouse? And the title like the name
of the She would yeah, itwould be like you know, twin flames,
and he would have to guess ifit was a gay bar or a
steakhouse. And it was so funny, and I was thinking like, oh,
we could do something like that.And my idea, which I think
is brilliant, is caregiver company orfuneral home? I have just the fact
(02:58):
that you found any I found alot examples of hard guesses. We can
play this game many many times.And this is just in like the surrounding
LA area. So you're going toread me a name about business? Yeah,
and I have to guess is ita caregiver agency or a funeral home?
Yes. The fact that there isany ambiguity overlap is hilarious. Just
(03:22):
you wait, my little angel,is that one of them? It's close?
Uh, the names It'll be like, you know, McCormick's funeral home.
I will leave out the funeral homeif it was like McCormick's funeral funeral
home or a McCormick's caregiver company.I'm not going to say what it is.
Give me the no, give methe whole name. Will. I
just want people to be like,wait, why is it called you know,
(03:45):
my Little Angel? It's my littleAngel funeral home? Right? Okay,
that would be a disturbing name forfuneral home. That's just my example.
Okay, are you ready to play? Yeah? Yeah, I'm ready.
You're ready? Do I have anopass? If I win? Here we
go. Number one Great Mercy,Oh oh man, this is okay,
(04:10):
so like great mercy if it werea caregiver agency, that feels kind of
effective. But great mercy of likethe end of the life, is also
not exactly the tone I want frommy I'm gonna just funeral home and now
(04:32):
I'll read you the full name.Okay, okay, Great mercy in home
caregivers. Wrong, Okay, that'sbecause my existence and your existence is brutal
and tragic, and they are providingus with you great mercy by coming in
(04:56):
and helping me brush my teeth.Yes, okay, you're ready? Yes,
that was amazing. Verse number two, always there. I hope it's
a carry diver anciency. Maybe it'sa funeral home that specializes in my like
(05:18):
her mission that you bring home theashes with you. They're always there.
Could be either one. My parentskept ashes of one of our cats that
pass the way, and he saton our shelf. He was always There's
always. It has to be acar giver, always there funeral and cremation
(05:42):
services. You are zero for two. This is harder than I thought.
Always there. That should probably berenamed never there. Yeah, if it's
okay, some dirty tumor here,guys, if you haven't picked up on
that yet, this segments a littlebit of a I have a good one.
(06:06):
Next, okay. Number three,this is one word when if you
heard me any other room laughing tomyself, it was at this name.
Okay. One word empathy hands.If you didn't hear that, empathy hands.
One word is so weird because that'swhat you want me to tell it
(06:30):
when you're giving me a shower,Hannah, I need the empathy hands,
oh man. But like, okay, carrygivers and funeral home directors they specialize.
They need to be empathetic people.They need to create an environment of
empathy, empathy, hand well wordcaregiver empathy hands home care ll yeah,
(07:02):
good job. All right, Ihave a huge list here. Should we
just do I should do a fewmore and then maybe we'll do it again.
This is really fun. I shouldhave checked off the ones I did.
I'm starting to not remember. Okay, number four, all caring,
Okay, alkay, Karen is inthe name, so like that makes me
(07:26):
feel like it's probably carry your youragency all tarring now like a LLL all
caring, like all caring, butlike you're all caring about someone's grief that
they're going to do a funeral home. I'm gonna go for the non obvious,
(07:46):
the funeral home, all caring cremations. Yeah, okay. Here's here's
a tricky one. A and Bquality A and B. I still it's
like the owner's names. I wantthe age quality no matter what, and
to be quality. I don't wantyour B quality service, A and B
(08:11):
carrygiver. I don't have any informationA and B quality homecare nice. Nice?
You know what amb Your name doesn'treally like denote what you view.
So I would suggest I've got qualityhomecare in there. I would suggest empathy
hands people one word empathy, handspeople carry giving one word that might be
(08:35):
good. Okay, here's one.A graceful way, A graceful way to
the drave funeral home, lock ofam bim done funeral. Yeah, A
graceful way in home care. No, I'm really bad, it does.
(08:58):
This is hard hard, it's reallyhard. Next time we'll have to play
where you find them and I haveto say I'll present them. But you
know those are all in LA.Yes, these are all. These are
all in like a small area ofLA. I just went on the map
and looked in like a three mileradius ahead. Okay, here's my personal
(09:18):
favorite one. So I'm messaging abouthow may take care of dead bodies and
disabled people seem to be pretty similarin terms of like business names. Indeed,
we need to look into that.That's not right, everyone, Yeah,
someone look into that. Okay homeinstead, Okay, home instead.
(09:41):
It sounds like a straight up carrieriveragency, like you hire carrierivers. See
you can remain in your home andnot need to go into a hospital or
something like that. And what wouldit mean if it was the funeral home.
Maybe it's a funeral home. Thatagain, specializes in like things home
sending home ashes or at home funerals. That are you allowed to do that?
(10:07):
I don't know. Can you burysomeone in your backyard? You cannot
bury a body in your backyard.If you go to your home funeral services,
you can. So what's your guest? I don't know. Yes,
homestead instead is the full name.It's just funny ones wondering. Okay,
we're getting along here. I haveso many more. This is going to
(10:31):
be I think we should start everysingle episode home or caregiver agency. We
should branch out to like carrigiver agencyor like vacuum cleaner repair and see if
we can get like even more overlap. It's a great idea of Shane.
You can do that for your episodevacuum repair or bury your bar On.
(10:58):
We will take a break and thenwe're gonna be right back to do amid
a hole with a personal personal story. I don't know why I'm really ready
for that. For our third weddinganniversary this year, Shaneon, I got
one of our favorite wedding photos paintedby Paint Your Life. Ah, I'm
lucky, get it right, Yeah, And I am still so obsessed with
(11:20):
it. I'm a staring at italready. It's beautiful enough of it.
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(11:43):
so cool. You can order acustom made hand painted portrait in less than
five minutes and have it delivered inless than two weeks. The whole process
is really fast. One of myfavorite film was about this painting is how
it captures like the peaceful elegance ofthe venue, Like behind Desh is so
beautiful, and they even nailed thebackground, Like yeah, they obviously nail
their faces, but like the backgroundis so reminiscent of right, it's exactly
(12:09):
what it looked like, and weloved that spot of our venue. So
it's really nice to have that,you know, in painting. Yeah,
we have lots of print art inour house and that's fine, but having
a original painting with that you cansee and feel the brush surets. Yeah,
it's so oh, it makes mereally happy. Yeah, it feels
(12:31):
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(12:54):
That's Junkyard to eight seven two zerofour. Again, test junkyard to eight
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Message in data rage may apply.She cherished for details. All right,
we're back. Are you ready,Shane? Yeah? I did. You
don't even know how? What isthis? My sweet sweet boy? You
(13:16):
have no idea. You've since we'vebe done, called me your sweet angel
and sweet boy. That was anexample for the game, and now I'm
being like, oh, my sweetlittle you know innocent, you have no
idea. I don't know today's gameof am I the a hole is going
to be evaluating my husband, Shane. I should have seen that something recently
(13:41):
happened a fight. You might say, what fight are you? And I
would like to know how many ofyou are on my side? Is it
the one about me saying you shouldn'teat your Joe nails? Good? That
was funny. That was a goodone. Thank you. That was a
good one. This is a fightabout our new couch. Oh oh okay,
(14:05):
Yeah, let's do it. Let'sdo it. Let's you are.
I feel like I have a scaryshare I have. I have my side.
I'm going to be telling the story. I wish I should have written
it out like an am id ahole post on the body. Yeah,
it was like my husband thirty onemale you know. Okay, So Shane
(14:26):
has a favorite snack that a restaurantin Minneapolis, actually in a Dina serves,
and it is these Paul Supper Clubserves these oil soaked saltine crackers with
a flavor like yeah on top ofMichie Club. Please, if you can
(14:46):
find a way to allow me tohave those saltias any day, any hour
of any day, like if theywould sell them by the box, by
the ball or just deliver them tome. Yeah, I'm in La right
now, But if you can finda way to get those salt mouth Shane
found when we were in Wisconsin,a like they were selling bags of like
(15:07):
the same saltines, and they werenot as good because it's bagged, Like
you can't get the same same levelof oiliness that mister Paul' leper club delivers
and the flavor and the flavor,but it was they were really good crackers.
And they also sold just the powderthat you put on them with like
the recipe. So we bought thatand we were excited. And that was
like six weeks ago, and thenlast week we saw it in our cupboard.
(15:28):
We transferred it to La Yeah.We road tripped out here with our
space powder miss Yeah. And Shanewas like, you know what instead of
saltines, I'm going to buy checkslike Chex mix, just the checks the
cereal gonna make yeah rice checks becausethat's my favorite part of checks mix.
They're easy to eat, and I'mgonna make this oil dip you know whatever
(15:50):
with the checks. Yeah. Brilliant, brilliant idea, really good. So
the assholet no and done. Thisis setting the scene. So we make
this and we followed the recipe,but I think we shouldn't have because saltines
are more absorbent than rice checks.Yeah, so we poured a cup and
a half of Conol oil up inthe half to this gigantic metal mixing bowl
(16:12):
with the box of cereal and thepowder mix and it was really good.
It was It was about three fourinches of oil sitting in the bottom of
the The bottom was a bit soupy. We did not nail our oil ratio.
No we didn't, but it wasour first attempt. It's fine.
But they were really good and welet them like sit overnight. They marinated.
(16:33):
They're amazing. They didn't get soggy. I know you're thinking they're soggy.
They didn't. Just mister Pouls justthey said. They were not even
close to what you create. Yeah, they were dead. They were good.
But I don't want you to forgetabout my reuss to send me your
sealtes. Okay, So Shane wantsthis as his nighttime snack. Okay,
(16:53):
My thirty one year old husband islike, that's gonna be my night night
snacky. I'm excited. You areyou're You're already. At no point in
the evening did I say I'm readyfor my night nights naky. I probably
said, hey, do you alreadyhave some of those chats and you were
like, yeah, those were dead, let's seat them. No, it
(17:14):
was not equal, I said,Shane. You were like, can I
skewer them? You tried to skewerthem and the skewer hole was too small.
Then I was like, it's fine, I'll just give them to you.
And then I remember that I said, baby, baby, nakya baby,
that's how I speak. Shamee.Do you think you're getting a little
(17:37):
your emotions are getting a little elevatednow, I'm just saying, if you're
gonna misrepresent the situation, I'm didto make fun of you. It was
your snack. Yeah, you agreethe way you said it. You want
some crackers And I was like,yeah, I'll eat them. No.
You were like I would like crackers. How can I get them in my
mouth? And I said, Iwill feed them to you. Okay,
I'm sitting on the couch. Shaneis sitting next to me like this.
(18:00):
But he's raised up, which isyour first problem. You should have lowered
down, but he's raised up.You're not being objective, there's no You're
not letting them decide. You haveto just tell you can't be like that
and this is when you're an asshole, and this is a problem. Okay,
What what we decided to do wasto bring the mixing bowl from the
kitchen, put it on the armof the couch, and then I gave
(18:21):
Shane bites from there, and theywere delicious, completely idiotic. Two adults
should have thought, you know what, why don't we put some snack in
a small or more manageable bowl insteadof bringing the gigantic mixing bowl and putting
it on the arm of our couch. Very precarious, I agree, But
neither of us were like, thisis a problem. If anyone knows what
foreshadow it is, you might beable to figure out. Right. Well,
(18:45):
the next thing that happened is thaton one of Shane's final bites,
after like an hour, I ofboth of us them, yes I had
some yes, sure, So thehour there was a dig that was not
necessary. It wasn't a day.It's like you would say that we were
successful for a long time. Itwasn't like the first bite I knocked it
over. Can I dirged yourself onthis dish for an hour and then we
(19:10):
were finished? Okay? Ahead,God? So then on the final bite,
what was to be final bite.Wasn't. It wasn't planned to be
Shane's final bite, but it endedup being. As I brought my hand
back, it knocked into the bowl, spilling it all onto my lap.
Yeah, she was just having itsurpassively. The hand, the hand,
(19:37):
my hand, from your mouth,okay, from your mouth, my hand,
Yes, not really entirely my problem. I was given one time bite
after an hour of sitting there watchingHannah just devoured myself. People, some
people aren't going to know if you'rekidding that was a joke. You're leading
them astray. We ate them,you ate more. Okay, I knock
(20:00):
the bowl onto my lap. Yes, I'm freaking out. Oil obviously is
everywhere. We're not even at thecouch yet, it's on my lap.
My favorite shorts that I'm wondering lovemy sweat shorts. I'm trying to get
these back in the bowl. Theones that are on top I don't want
to put like I still want thechecks like I don't want to ruin it
(20:21):
was the chest, and I'm throwingthe checks onto the ground that are like
hair covered with like you know,the ones that are touching something hair.
I'm just not going to put themback on the bowls. They're dirty,
so I'm like throwing them on theground, trying to avoid our brand new
rug. Also like everything in hereis new. So I get them off
my lap. I stand up,and I realize that a bunch of oil,
(20:45):
like you know, some checks,has fallen behind my lap onto the
couch like underneath me. And Ilook and there's like a big splat,
yes, splotches of grease stains onthe couch cushion and on and like the
bolster pillow that goes with it.Can I just say what I've been doing
this whole time, because this ispart of the story. I've been silent.
(21:07):
Yes, I am staring at thesituation. Yep, just quiet,
silent. We'll get to that.It's probably been like forty five seconds by
now that I when I stand up, So then I I Chloe also at
this time, is trying to eatthe checks that are like all over the
floor, and I don't want herto have that much oil, So I'm
like, Chloe, wait, likewait over there, and she listens to
(21:29):
weight, so I'm like, yeah, I'm just saying wait again and against
because sometimes if you don't repeat it, she'll be like it must be over
now. So she's waiting and readingand waiting, and I'm like trying to
pick as much up as possible.And then I finally get all of them
like into a you know, intomy pile, and I'm like, okay,
Chloe, like you're fine. Soshe's like licking the remnants off the
rug the room. Because I knowyou're saying your name too much. I'll
(21:52):
say the dog from now on.So at this point I run into the
kitchen. I know actually at thispoint, I I grabbed my phone and
I'm like, I'm saying explotives.At this point, I'm freaking out.
I grab my phone. I'm googlinghow to get oil out of a leather
couch and I see that like you'resupposed to use baby powder or like something
that'll bring it up, but wedon't have that. So one of the
(22:15):
things said dawn dish soap. SoI run into the kitchen. I grab
the dish soap. I'm like scrubbingthe couch trying to get it. I
it's a round. This point iswhen I probably said something and I don't
remember exactly what we said, butI probably said something like it'll be okay,
like just like don't worry, likeit's fine. You know, Yeah,
(22:37):
the specifics are murky at this point, but Shane is silent so far,
like up until whenever it starts speaking. It has now been fine six
minutes maybe, you know, oflike cleaning and getting this all set,
and as I'm scrubbing the couch,it's not looking better, like it's looking
worse because I'm rubbing soap into thecouch and I'm like, oh my god,
I think I'm making it worse.This looks horrible. I'm almost in
(23:00):
tears about like our poor sofa andhow now it's all stained and it's so
visible and all this. And thatis when Shane. But at a certain
point I said to you that Ifelt like the only adult in the house.
And I think it was before youspoke. Well, I think it
was been all right, So Ican't remember the timeline, but I ended
up saying like, it's not abig deal, like it, we'll put
(23:22):
a pillow over it, We'll putit blinded over it, no one will
notice. Then was like that justlike make like trying to make you not
be upset. Essentially, Yeah,right, so that happened. I don't
think that was before though. Atsome point though, yeah, but she
so, Shane being silent for thisentire thing really irritated me. And as
(23:42):
each minute passed, I'm like glancingat him, waiting for him to react
to the chaos and the situation andlike the couch being damaged and just like
any of it. I'm like,why is he sitting here completely silent while
I'm like running around trying to fixthe situation. So at a certain point
(24:03):
I say to him, you knowwhat I right now I feel like I'm
the only adult in this house andyou're just like staring at me while I
am dealing with a catastrophe. Youdefinitely said that. After I began saying
it's not a big deal, Iwas like, that made you even matter
that I was like not upset aboutwhat happened. Yeah, So then Shane
is like, I just don't it'snot a big deal, Like it's fine,
(24:26):
We'll just put a pillow over it. And I was like, are
you serious, because it's a couchthat's like the most expensive piece of furniture
in a house. Like, it'sa couch, it's a big deal.
And that was when he was like, well, maybe we can turn the
cushions around. And I was like, the cushions aren't reversible, Like I
actually know that about our couch andare not reversible? Is so mad?
Yeah? And you were like,well, you know what, I just
don't think it's a big deal.So is that the end? Yeah?
(24:51):
Do you have anything else? Sowe're just sort of I was trying to
be a homing presence for Hannah,and I explained this. We ended up
fighting and like getting mad at eachother. Yes, but I my reasoning
was that if I had knocked thebowl over, if like if that had
(25:15):
been my hand and I was freakingout, oh no, I spilled this
like it's dinner room. They touchedand Hannah had reacted angerly or flusteredly or
like freaking out like oh no no, that would have made me feel really
bad about having not the bowl over. And I had two responds that when
(25:41):
we were having our fight, yousaid that in the fight. I had
two responses. One, I didn'tview it as entirely my fault, just
because you can't move your arms,and I didn't think that way. Occasionally
you would knock things over if youmoved, But instead I have to feed
you the chips, and therefore it'snot entirely my fault that you were chip
hands. Yeah, that's fair knockedoverable. I'd never knock things over because
(26:03):
I don't exactly so I was like, well, no, this is equally
your fault. It was your bite. And then two I had said I
didn't want you to be screaming likeoh no, oh no. What I
said to you in the moment waswhy didn't you say, like, let
me google what to get how toget stains out of a couch? Like
I feel like people are going tobe like, well, what could Shane
have done a emotional support b lookthings up? Like I silence is not
(26:26):
emotional support in some instances it canbe. I don't know if my voice
and ended, wasn't it stuff up? Yeah? I just wanted you to
care. I wanted you to belike And that's my third oh let me
help. That's my third point wasthat like, even though I was consciously
like trying to be homing for youand like make it not a big deal
(26:48):
so that you didn't feel bad,I genuinely just was like, well,
we'll put it, bellow over it, and hopefully like it's not horrible staying.
Everyone in our lives, like Ihave, has bolster pillows that go
right where this stain was. Youstill see the stain, I thought,
(27:11):
and I thinking in that moment,was We'll just put the bolster over the
pillow. And yeah, if someoneone day lifts it up and sees these
little slaveships, they might be like, oh, dirty tauch, and they
might do so nice. Too long. So let's wrap this up. That
was our story. But how doyou determined to determine? Oh, I
(27:32):
mean, I know where I stand. Both of us know where we stand.
You were the ale. I admit, I do admit I should have
been more helpful. I will alsosay I've been accused of trying to be
helpful in moments where all you wantis someone to listen and be try it.
(27:56):
Do you have a an I feelwhen do I want you? Well,
that's what I'm inventing to you.Yeah, But I just try to
solve So I was just it wasa real life I was googling things.
It wasn't a situation where I waslike, Shane, I don't mean nothing.
Here is a practical problem. Thisis an emotional problem. It was
a physical problem. I was like, what do we do about the couch?
(28:19):
And then you were just like andI. It wasn't like you were
giving me little smiles and nods ofencouragement. You were literally zone if you
touch smile, literally dozing off.Oh now I'm dozing off. We have
an unreliable narrator. And I diddivert it to player, ladies and gentlemen
(28:41):
of the jury. If I amdoilty of anything, it is apathy.
Yeah, that's what you're guilty of. A few little spotches on a couch.
I am guilty of that. Doesthat makes me a hard and true
asshole? I don't think so.And I think if you looked into your
(29:04):
hearts you will find that my wifeis a monster. I don't think it
makes me the ale to want alittle support from my own and to feel
like I'm not the only adult inthe house. When catastrophes, no one
is no one's ale. We're debatinghere who is the ahole? And it's
sure no one. Well, itcould be no one, but in this
(29:26):
case, there's a very clear ahole. Uh. Should we move on
to section to whatever part three Idid? We should take your tape breaks.
But I'm a little bit afraid to. Oh yeah, once the camera
turns off, I might get angry. Just please regard me with empathy.
Hands. Okay, all right,we'll be right back and bath two a
(29:52):
holes. Yeah, ready perform foryou. We are now on to play
I Decid Freaks, a game thatand I have long played in our relationship.
Yes, when we have an uphominganxiety inducing event, we make up
hypothetical, ridiculous scenarios that could playout that would be so ridiculous that like
(30:19):
they'll never actually have them. Thingsthat we could do to make people uncomfortable
is generally the Yeah, just asa way of like lightening the spirit around
whatever. Bran just about. Andit can't be as bad as what we
come up with. So yeah,once we're there and be fine, this
is going to be about the awardshow that we're attending. We written invited
to be guests in a la legitaward show with like a giant theater and
(30:44):
a red harpet and celebrities, andthat's scary. Yeah, we're honored to
be yelling, however, terrifying,terrified that we're gonna have to interact with
like celebrity people. We might wejust talked to each other. I have
my first whole freak. Go ahead, Let's say we meet someone really famous,
(31:07):
like Brad Pitt. Will not bethere, no, he there.
If Brad Pitt were there, Iwould go up to him and pretend like
I know him from somewhere and likerap my brain and be like, wait,
you never get like a CVS giveyou very I recognize wait, oh
(31:33):
Jimbo no, And Brad Pitt's justlike can we get here? That's a
good one. I think that thepart that I'm most nervous about is like
arriving and just the logistics of likewe have to do the red carpet,
like where do you enter? Andlike what do you do? So I
(31:56):
think we should just avoid all ofthat and I will get on the back
of your chair wall of style,you lower down so you go top speed
and we can just fly in,fly right through the red carpet. Then
he gets hit don't pause for apop speed and I'll have my head kind
of like maybe in your backpack sothat you can't see me and I don't.
(32:17):
I don't feel afraid. We aregoing to this award show as deaths.
We are not like up for anyaward or anything like that. But
to every person that I interact with, I'm going to tell them that I'm
just really nervous because I've never gottenan award like this before. Because someone
is gonna know that we're not gettingaward. I never didn't have to be
(32:40):
like, oh, Shane, yeah, I just keep saying that you hope
you win. It's such an honorto be celebrated tonight. Thank you.
So I assume this is like aseated event with a stage, like,
ye, that's what it is.I wonder how many times you and I
(33:05):
could alternate getting up for the bathroomduring the award part before they would say
like, pa, maintain your seat. That's so funny because like I never
know the award shows like they donot let you get up, like it's
being a film for TV, sothey'll be like, okay, now we're
in a commercial, now you canuse the bath there. But if I
(33:25):
went up like during the show,which I would never do this, but
if I did and and like bumpinginto people, and I was like,
no, it's like it's a disability, sail, I need to get into
that bathup, what would they do? They would let you in? I
think you didn't. Yeah, theywould make me like no, empty my
bowels and my no. But theidea of you honking your horn when you
(33:50):
can't get around, I think that'sthe invastination all night whoever is in my
I having to beat my horn.I've never once used my like a horrible
sound, honestly, I had whenpeople are like, you got a horn
on that bam. Yeah, butI'm gonna use it the whole night to
get anyone out of my way.And the funny part is to access your
(34:12):
horn you have to go out ofdrive mode, so it takes like three
seconds. You're gonna have to goup to someone, push some buttons,
switch it around, honk the horn, and then switch back to drive.
It's gonna be really awkward. Youknow. The other thing that you do
about the actual award aspect of itis pretend that we're really upset the whole
(34:34):
night because we're here. We thoughtwe were being honored. It turns out
we're just yes, carry around atissue and dab my eyes, glare at
anyone who like does receive an award. Refuse to collapse. Yeah, everyone
comes up to to share them.Yeah, should have been me, it'll
(34:54):
be like best actress, and I'llbe like, oh, it should have
been me. I'll just tell everyonethat I have I haven't had my big
break. Yes, the whole night, we're aspiring actors. I did a
lot of the actors that they're aword. So the whole night we'll just say,
(35:17):
yeah, so look for that bigbreak. This isn't really, this
isn't I thought a whole freaks.Really, But we have our business cards.
Is it weird to give out businesshards? Yes? I don't think
we're going to give them out.Did you dress have packets? No?
(35:37):
If anyone gives us a business card, we can give them one. I
will not fire one right back,like trying to give them to people.
I think we're gonna make it.Yeah, we can handle it. I
hope. I don't really know.I don't know, but we'll see.
All right. That was our episodefor today. I hope you enjoyed it.
(35:59):
Probably one of our best one withme at the at the hell you
know that from now on, youtake it. That was my favorite.
Maybe we won't diagnose whether I'm thea hole. Yeah every time, but
no, but sometimes anyway, ifyou enjoy today's episode, please comment like
review all of that, and it'sa junk yard out there. Believe your
(36:19):
snaps at the door. If wehave one more spill, our CEO Hannah
is going to lose it. Shecan't handle oil at any time, even
in a junk yard. It's alittle mume by everyone. Bye.
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